04/02/2016 EastEnders

MESSAGE ALERT

Cup of tea?

Got an exercise class.

Oh, you getting fit for Claudette?

Just don't make out you care.

I've said I'm sorry.

DOOR SHUTS

-I left my passport at Kush's. Could you?

-No.

-Dad...

-If you're going to do this...

-Please.

I've got to get Kamil to school.

You all right?

It's not your place to tell him.

Just heading off to the hospital again.

Give Stacey my love.

Yeah, I will.

Did Kush tell you what happened?

For you.

Not for Kush.

Now think again. Please?

Dean's in court tomorrow.

It's the plea hearing.

I, um...

I just thought if you wanted to go?

If it would help?

It ain't my case, is it? It's Roxy's.

Yeah, I know, I just...

There's still going to be a trial. Unless he pleads guilty.

And even after all that, he could still walk free.

-I'll see you later.

-See you later.

Is Nancy...?

-She's gone out.

-Early.

-Walking the dog.

-Walking the baby.

Just tell her I'm sorry, yeah?

I'm really, really sorry.

Are you sure you don't want to talk to him?

Why don't you go and get ready and come and do a shift?

-I could, I could use your help.

-I'm sure you'll live, Pop.

-I'll go and have a little chat.

-Just give her a minute.

How are you feeling?

-After what Shirley said?

-I just...want it all over with.

If Sharon don't want me in my own house,

she can move out.

You need care, Phil.

Do me a favour, drop the Florence Nightingale routine, will you?

-Anyway, I'm going for a drink.

-No-one is going to serve you.

You need to dry out

so you can have a transplant or you're going to die.

Welcome home!

Did things not work out with Carmel, then?

My daughter's mother-in-law? Come on.

It was me, wasn't it?

Don't worry about it.

You'd have thought at my age, I'd learn to hold my drink by now.

Denise.

Um, after you went, I...

-Don't shout at me.

-What have you done now?

I hear you're going to Pakistan.

Yeah, go on, run away.

-I am not running away.

-That's what you do, ain't it?

You know what, you don't get to tell me what I do.

OK, just think again.

You and me, the other side of London and a new start.

Kush, you need to be here.

We can make it work. We will make it work.

-We've tried, we've tried and you know we can't.

-Don't do this.

Please. Shabs, don't do this.

What happened to your eye?

Er...

-It's nothing, it's nothing.

-Ask your father.

Lucas?

Don't look at me like that.

-Denise, please tell me you're not still in love with him.

-No.

No!

So, why did you call him?

It's because Jordan needs help.

Libby said that he'd robbed Chelsea.

So that means you have to see Lucas? Are you that lonely?

-Everyone's got someone, ain't they?

-I haven't.

Someone who needs them.

Anyway, just forget I ever mentioned it.

Denise, he left his ex-wife to die.

And he murdered your ex-husband.

Yeah, and he locked me in a cellar

and he told everyone I'd killed myself, I know it was a stupid idea.

I've just seen Kush.

Me splitting up with him is nobody's business but mine.

How's Nancy?

What makes you think I know?

-There you go, freshly made.

-Thanks.

Linda thinks Dean's going to walk.

-Well, that ain't going to happen.

-I know.

I've got a plan.

I can't imagine what...

in front of other people, what that must have felt like.

But you've never been one to let what others think bother you.

Mum, I wet myself.

I'm not...I'm not in control of my body. My own body.

I know, baby girl.

Do you know what that feels like, though?

To hate your own body, because it always lets you down?

Maybe, maybe a bit.

Oh... Sorry, Mum.

-I didn't...

-But what you face, day after day, no, I don't know.

And if I went through what you did yesterday,

I'd want to hide myself away too.

When I was... raped, I hid. Wanted to hide forever.

-But that's cos I'm not as strong as you are.

-Mum, don't say that.

If I didn't have your dad, I don't know what I'd do some days.

-But you, you're my hero. You always have been.

-No, I ain't.

I mean, the boys, I always worry about them.

But you, you're a fighter. Have been since you was little.

And I'm so, so proud of that.

So you just walk out there into the world and be you.

-Honey!

-Billy!

-I have got a training session at the Minute Mart later.

-Have you?

Brilliant, well done!

Listen, I mean, Hon, I've been thinking right it...

It just seems a bit silly, this, doesn't it?

I mean, why don't you move in with me?

I mean, we are engaged, ain't we?

-What's brought all this on?

-Shabs and Kush have split up.

-Oh, no.

-That's really sad.

-Yeah, I know.

They were really solid and all, you know,

after everything they went through with their baby dying...

-Are you worried that we're going to split up?

-No, no!

-You've still got Les.

-Funny. No seriously, Pam will have him back.

Billy, Phil's just moved in.

Yeah, all the more reason for you to move out, then. Oh, come on, babe.

I just want to be with you.

Me, you and the kids like a proper family.

I need your help. Talk some sense into Shirley for me, will you?

Oh, here she is.

-How are you?

-Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.

-Donna told me.

-I'm so sorry. Poor you.

-Cheers, thanks. I'll see you later.

-How are you feeling?

-I... I thought I'd get some air.

-I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

-I blanked out and I wet myself.

-I heard.

-Shabnam called. She'd just split up with Kush.

-You didn't tell me.

-You just left.

-I'm sorry.

Look, I'm not going to be the entertainment

for the second day running.

Can we just focus on our next pop-up. It'll be bigger and better.

Can you just stop pretending you're interested?

Like, you didn't even want to give up your stupid little job.

See you later.

If you can't be with Kush, then he's the one that should be leaving.

-He's the one that's done wrong.

-He's got a baby here. I'm not...

I'm not going to make him abandon Arthur.

So he gets to stay with his son who's a secret?

And you're prepared to abandon your daughter? Again?

And this is you staying out of it, is it?

I bet you haven't even told Jade you're going.

DOOR OPENS

What's happened?

Nothing.

-You can't go and see Dean.

-What did you tell her for?

You've gotta listen to someone!

He's not going to plead guilty just cos you turn up for a visit, is he?

Oh, go play with your fish.

HE GROWLS

-All I ever do is let her down.

-No, no, you don't.

-Just sit her down and talk it all through, it'll be fine.

-What?

Like you did with Kush? Come on, if talking was easy...

Kush is the father of Stacey's baby.

So he cheated on you?

I am so fed up of having to justify it. We were on a break.

-But it's all...it's so messed up. All of it.

-Does Dad know?

-He went over and punched him. Just don't tell anyone, please.

-Yeah.

-But that's why you and Nancy, it really isn't too late.

-She hates me.

I get it, you know. The guilt thing.

-Dean.

-It ain't guilt.

You walked out on him. Young boy like that, with so much anger.

I was there, with his dad - stepdad. I saw it.

But did you make Dean a rapist?

Or any more than you made him a hairdresser.

And let's be honest, he didn't exactly get that from you, did he?

So... go and see him.

He ain't a bad man.

He's done bad things. He's done evil things.

-But somewhere in there is still that little boy that I love.

-I know.

And I just think if I can reach that part of him. You know what?

I really don't care what you think.

No, no, I'm not laughing. Not at you.

-I... I got in touch with Lucas last night.

-And I'm the stupid one?

Yeah, I've even arranged to go and see him.

What, you're going there again?

Well, I was supposed to be there an hour from now. Me and him.

Nice little cup of tea.

-He locked you in a cellar!

-Yeah, why do people keep telling me

that like I'm stupid or something, forgotten?

Well, I haven't. I'll never forget.

-So then why are you going to...

-I don't know,

I just, I thought that...

..maybe there's a little bit of something in there

that ain't all bad.

Baby, I didn't know whether you'd want to...

No, it's fine, Dad. Honest.

-Thank you. I hope you don't mind.

-Send in the sister. That's cool.

-Oh, no, no, Tam doesn't know that I'm here.

-Oh, right.

-Do you...

-Yeah, no, sit down.

-Thanks.

Look, I'm...I'm really sorry to hear about you and Kush, Shabs.

It's...It's fine. Tam's really, really upset.

-You can't make this about him.

-You had a seizure...

-..and I'm sorry about that.

-I don't need your pity.

Tam's sorry about that but what happened wasn't his fault.

I didn't say it was his fault.

-Well, trying to make him feel guilty about it...

-What?

I'm sorry, just because your own relationship's broken down,

don't mean you can take it out on me!

-I'm sorry.

-Tam's a really good man. He's a decent man.

You have to understand, right, that I was willing to give up my whole

dream of running a pub for us and he won't even give up his job.

And that's it?

I want him to fight.

-You are quite fiery.

-No.

I mean I want him to fight for us.

Are you sure about this?

We must need our heads testing.

-Hey.

-Want to come and do my homework?

I dunno where she gets her manners from.

-I was just coming to see you.

-I heard you got dumped.

-Where does she get this stuff?

-Yeah, it didn't work, me and Kush.

-We...

-Dumped.

I'm...I'm going away for a little bit to Pakistan.

-Bring us back a present.

-Jade!

-Actually, I don't know if I'm coming back.

-Hey, you serious?

I thought you wanted me.

I... I will write to you.

-And...and we can video call, can't we?

-I won't answer.

-I won't even remember who you are.

-She don't mean that.

You'll always be the cow that left me on the doorstep.

-Don't speak to your mum like that.

-She ain't my mum.

-I'm...I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Jade!

So Shabnam told me everything. What Kush did.

KNOCK AT THE DOOR

-And you punching him.

-Yeah, Tam...

I mean, what? Is this your answer...

Tam.

Right, well I'm going to go and get some food for dinner.

Phil.

-Phil!

-I want a drink!

-You can't have one.

Phil, why don't you go back inside?

Why, you going to get me one, are you?

-I'll put the kettle on.

-You are not going to kill yourself!

-Nice cup of tea?

-No, I don't want a nice cup of tea, all right!

Do you know what, you have no idea

what she's been through this past week.

Because it's always about you.

Phil, please. Please come back inside.

-Ronnie, you don't have to do this by yourself.

-Come on.

You're not even going to fight for this, are you?

Is there any point?

What do you want me to say?

-This isn't working, is it?

-What bit?

All of it.

OK, well, if that's what you want.

-It's not just about what I want, is it?

-I've been here before.

I know how it ends.

-Please...please don't cry.

-I'm not crying.

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do.

What and you think I do?

-There's some other stuff at mine.

-Keep it. Keep it.

I should have just stuck to the pub thing.

-I...I really wanted us to work.

-Yeah, so did I.

Yeah, but more than anyone.

Unlike other guys,

I actually thought more than a month ahead with you.

You're not going to say anything, are you?

OK. Fine. It's over.

-I need to finish packing.

-You don't have to go.

-I can't stay here.

You gave up the first chance of being a parent.

And the second chance was taken away from you.

Shabnam, if you walk away from this...

..you'll never, ever forgive yourself.

-So we're all single now.

-Oh, Tam.

-I'm just a lover, not a fighter.

Not much of a lover.

She's out of my league. It was always going to end this way.

-We broke up.

-Oh, baby. Come here.

Oh, it's OK. Oh, darling. All right.

I didn't think you'd come.

-After...

-I guess we both said things that we didn't mean.

She's here visiting her ex.

Didn't think it'd be at the same time, though.

They keep us apart for most of the day.

I'm stuck with the nonces.

Different exercise. Dinner. Different showers, the lot.

A little while ago, I was waking up in my own bed with my fiancee.

Now I just wake up sweating every morning.

-Jumping at every noise at night.

-You need to plead guilty, Dean.

To draw a line under all this.

You're looking good, Dee.

You haven't aged at all.

Amazing what a bit of daylight can do for you.

Are you... with anyone?

That ain't your business.

I'm glad you came.

I don't know why I did.

Don't you? Really?

Maybe it's because I wanted to remind myself...

..what monsters really look like.

-I wasn't forcing myself on Roxy.

-I know what I saw.

It wasn't attempted rape!

I saw the look in your eyes, when Linda first said what you did.

I didn't want to see it because I didn't want it to be true.

But I'm your mum. And that's what mums do.

-Just stop.

-No, I can't pretend any more. And neither can you.

You know what you've done. You said it to Linda.

You'd just tried to kill me at the time!

Yeah, because this has got to stop.

And it will stop. But not like that.

Not with me trying to kill you or you trying to kill me.

It's going to stop when you stand up in that court room

and tell them what you did.

But I didn't! I didn't. I love Roxy and I would never hurt her.

You've got to believe me. You're my mum.

What we had, Dee, it was good.

-It was the best.

-I wouldn't quite describe it that way myself.

Look, it went wrong. I went wrong.

It was all just... I lost control.

-Jesus forgiven you, has he?

-Jesus and me, we ain't talking.

I wasn't well, Dee.

All that God stuff... wasn't real.

I really wanted to believe that I was being guided by some

higher power, but... it was just me.

It was just another addiction.

I was getting high off the attention.

The status it gave me, the power.

The only one responsible for everything I did... is me.

Everyone told me I was mad for coming here.

-That's why I told you not to tell anybody.

-And that's why I did.

I'm glad you called me back, though. I was so excited to see you.

-Yeah, well, you've seen me now, ain't you?

-I think about you a lot.

What you're doing, what you're thinking. What you'd say to me.

First thing in the morning. Last thing at night.

You're in my head, Dee. You always will be.

Every which way I turn, you're there.

And I know it's the same for you. That's why you called.

-That is why you're here.

-You're wrong.

-Am I?

This isn't just for my sake.

It's for Jordan's.

No, he's not here.

It's OK.

I wanted to...

There's something I need to ask you.

-He's in trouble, Dee.

-He robbed Chelsea.

-I need you to help him.

-I need you to find him and help him.

-Ask your sister.

Gloria can never get through to him.

But you, you're such a good stepmum.

-You knew how to make him listen.

-Yeah?

My other stepson is sitting over there.

Plea hearing tomorrow for attempted rape.

So you can forget about the good stepmum thing.

I believe in you.

I know that you'll plead guilty.

Haven't you heard a thing that...

You can't run. It'll just stay with you.

You need to face up to what you've done. Not just for them

but for you.

If you don't go in that court room and plead guilty, Dean...

..then I can't be your mum.

You know you can do this.

You're the only that can save him. Help me.

Please?