04/04/2016 EastEnders

I'll stop looking at houses I can't afford

if you stop looking at clothes you can't afford.

The day of his meeting and he's done a runner, hasn't he?

-Help me look for him, babe.

-Oh, I've got work.

-He's probably in the offy.

Yeah, funny. Nice of you to care(!)

Ben! Ben, it's not about caring.

If he doesn't want to change, he won't. It's up to him.

I can manage on me own.

Um... There's a marathon on today. So... You didn't notice, or...?

-Just move the van, please.

-Thought you'd done a runner.

You thought I'd started drinking, you mean?

That meeting's at half ten.

I'm busy. First, the Arches, now this.

-I'm on a roll.

-Just let him do it.

I don't want to sit around with a load of winos,

-talking about feelings.

-You have to go.

-Say something.

-Well, if he doesn't want to...

Fine! You know what? Sharon was right! I've done all I can!

You're on your own!

-Ah, just in time for breakfast.

-I'm not hungry.

You can't run on an empty stomach. I've made porridge.

After I looked up the cooking instructions on the internet.

You're such a grass.

-Do you want honey in it?

-I said I'm not hungry.

-Those poor oats. Died for nothing.

-Shut up.

I tried explaining it to him yesterday, but he just went quiet.

Mate, you'd think they were flying to the moon,

the way they're carrying on out there.

-It's a half marathon.

-Cos you've got to go the long way

round to the shops, we've got to listen to you moaning all day?

If you're going to be like that, you can meet them at your place.

No, cos I don't want them to know where I live.

Well, I don't want some crackhead knowing where I live.

And that is why I asked you along for support.

-(Is she still on drugs?)

-It's rude to whisper.

JJ, do you remember me saying

about your mummy visiting today?

We'll be here the whole time.

It's OK. It's OK.

It's only for an hour or so and then we can all just go back to normal.

Why did I have to oversleep when we're doing the catering

-for the marathon after-party? Where's my keys?

-Microwave.

-What are they doing there?

-Microwave.

Why?

Oh, Kathy. Someone special?

-No, I thought I'd just make an effort for the run.

-There's a bloke.

No, there isn't.

Don't panic.

It's not going anywhere and it's totally inappropriate anyway.

Kathy...

Three guesses who the inappropriate bloke is.

I'm going to get this lot down the tip

before the stewards have a meltdown.

Listen, go and get yourselves some breakfast.

I'll see you afterwards, yeah?

You said you weren't drinking.

This ain't drinking. Believe me.

If you're nervous about the meeting... Don't laugh.

You nearly killed me last week cos you were drunk.

You shouldn't be doing it!

Why does everyone think they can tell me what to do?

Either back off or you move out of my house, do you understand?

Lou!

Lou!

I said I'd put on your awards ceremony.

I didn't say that you could turn this gaff into a field hospital.

-The first aiders need a base.

-Why don't you use the fruit and veg

stall? They can get their five a day while they cop for a breather.

Why didn't I think of that?

Dad, I've done that table. What else do you want me to do?

That's it, babe. Don't worry about it. Look, it's some more readies for your Italy trip.

-I know you're running a bit short. So...

-You might as well just take me to the airport now.

-Tamwar...

The steward out there said something about Phil's van.

He still hasn't moved it?

I need you.

Your help, I mean.

Come on, it won't take a minute.

-I just wish you would have a go at me.

-What about?

Bex's gig. Baby stuff. Whatever it is you're angry with me about.

Unbelievable.

Phil just left it here and now, we can't start till he's moved it.

We?! Who made you the marathon boss man?

The council decided it falls under the remit of the market inspector.

-So...

-At least you get to wear that saucy little high-vis.

-All right, we're going to move it.

-You want to rob Phil's van?

Relocate it, round the corner.

How exactly is the epileptic without a licence supposed to help?

You're going to show me which buttons to press.

Buttons!

-Key?

-ENGINE STALLS

-I can't believe you didn't dress up.

-I know. I'm so sorry.

-I just didn't have time.

-We'll have to think of some kind of forfeit.

You can carry me the last hundred metres or something.

You're joking, ain't you?

At last! Runners to your starting positions, please!

Son, please!

What? I'm just nervous about the race!

-No-one's expecting a world record.

-On your marks.

-Son, please, don't run off.

-Get set...

Go!

CHEERING

-Keep running and don't come back!

-JJ, what are you doing under the table? Come on!

-He doesn't want to see her, does he?

-You know what? You are not making this any easier.

Fine. We'll be upstairs if you need us. Won't we, Pearl?

Yeah. She's very rude.

Try to keep calm.

-Whatever she's like.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-I'll go.

-OK. JJ, come on. Come out from under the table now.

Your mum's here.

Oh, I'm so sorry we're late. I forgot there was a marathon on.

Hi, Denise. Let me introduce you to Amelle.

Denise...

Thanks so much for taking care of my little boy.

Where is he?

-Here you go, Mum.

-Oh, thanks.

-Has Louise come in here?

-No, I've not seen her. Er...

-Ben said you've got your meeting today.

-Not you and all.

Mum, we need to get these sandwiches finished before the end

-of the race, yeah?

-Ian, please, go do lunch at Bill's with Kyle, will you?

And you, don't be like that. Our son needs you to get help.

Listen, we all do.

Phil...

Back off my mum, will you?

She might want to get back together, but over my dead body.

You might want to throw away your life, but not hers.

If Louise comes in here, just tell her I'm looking for her, will you?

Yes, I know it's late, but we've had some problems.

Yeah. Look, it'll be done by tomorrow, mate. All right? I pro...

Caught Dad drinking again.

So much for him not needing his meeting, eh?

You know, I bet he misses the hepatology one too.

-I mean, who needs a liver anyway?

-How can he just lie?

After we cleaned up this place together and...

-I wouldn't worry about it. He'll be off our hands soon.

-Don't say that.

You have no idea what it's been like the last few months.

-He's your dad.

-He's yours too! You sort him out.

You're the one going to be out on your ear if he dies.

-Jamie, please...

-Jamie?

Please come out.

Actually, you know... Can you just please give him a bit of space?

-He's a bit...

-What?

-Scared.

-Why would he be?

-What have you been telling him?

-Me? No.

-Sorry, I've been clothing him, feeding him...

-We've not told him anything.

-I don't understand. I thought he'd be happy to see me.

-Maybe seeing his mum overdose every five minutes left

-a bit of a mark.

-I think we need to calm down...

-Overdose?!

-I've never done drugs in my life!

-Our background checks were clean.

Is this what Jordan's been telling you? The same Jordan that told you I was dead!

Son!

Son!

Oh, you're joking!

-If you won't talk to me at home...

-We're not doing this now, all right?

Please don't think about following me because I ain't got all day.

Just go! Home! Please!

Argh!

For real!

Argh!

You honestly expect me

-to believe that you've never gone near the stuff?

-I think we should all just calm down.

-Why not?

-You're happy enough to believe Jordan.

-I think if we just try and see it from Denise's perspective.

If I believed half the things he said about you, I wouldn't step foot in this house!

-So, why is he hiding under the table, if it's not to get away from you?

-How should I know?

Amelle, you've been ever so patient waiting for the right time to visit Jamie.

Let's not spoil it now.

I just want to see my son.

Please.

Can you ask if he'll come out?

-So Italy's back on then?

-Serve him right if I never come back.

-Can you even afford it?

-You saw.

He's so desperate to get rid of me that he's paying for my ticket.

Yeah, but then you'll need rent and some sort of pasta budget.

-I'll get a bar job or something. Why are you being so negative?

-I'm not.

I'm just... If things are so rubbish with your dad,

-then is running away the best policy?

-Do you have to chip away at everything?

Why can't you just be happy for me? Do you know what? That's the last time I help you steal Phil's van.

I didn't steal it.

What do you mean you don't know where it is?

It's got valuables in it!

Well, find it, will you? Find it.

Right, nearly ready for the opening, Trace!

-Phil, you shouldn't be in here.

-Why? Ain't you open yet?

I, er...

Wanted to say sorry about how I was earlier.

-Oh, that's just your way, isn't it?

-That's what I like about you, Kath.

There's no need for any front, is there?

And I wouldn't even be in this position without you.

And what position is that then? On your way to the meeting?

You know who runs them meetings, don't you?

Lorna.

Yeah, that's right. That Lorna. The one that killed our marriage.

Not so keen for me to go to the meeting now, are you?

Yeah. Well, that was then. This is more important.

I know that ain't true, Kath.

Cos you helped me a lot last week, didn't you?

And I hadn't worked it out.

Until Ian told me that you want to get back with me.

What?

No. No way.

Oh, come off it, Kath. It's obvious you want to give it another go.

Phil, you stink of booze.

And no, I didn't help you last week cos I want to get back with you.

I helped you because I want my son to have a dad.

-I think it's just a strain, but we should probably get you home.

-Yeah.

Well, I suppose we could say that you finished the race,

so that you still get your money for SCBU.

Oh, and cheating people out of charity money is funny, is it?

-You didn't seem to mind nicking the Fat Blasters money.

-Oh, great.

Oh, cheer up.

You think I don't get it?

Of course looking after Lily makes you broody.

It doesn't mean that the rest of your life is pointless.

I never said it was pointless.

-It's just that life to you is just one big laugh, isn't it?

-So?

Have you ever thought what Martin and Stacey would give right now to be able to laugh like we do?

You said that I joke about.

It doesn't mean that I'm grown up enough to have kids, but you're the one refusing to talk about it.

-I can talk about it. Whatever. I don't mind.

-And I get it.

You're scared. Yeah? Cos it's such a big thing.

Cos if we don't agree, then... That's it, isn't it?

Son, we have to take that risk.

OK, so you look at other people's kids and you think - I want one.

Yeah? Well, I look and I think - thank the Lord that is not mine!

Sorry, kids are a nightmare. Fact.

See? We totally disagree.

I just don't think you fully appreciate our amazing situation.

Our amazing situation?

Yeah. Like when we wake up on a Saturday morning

because the sun is pouring through the curtains,

not because some baby has pooed all up the walls.

And instead of launching into some vomity warzone, we lie there,

having a cup of tea and a cuddle.

I love that I can leave electrical appliances in dangerous places

and not have to worry that Zsa Zsa is just going to pull them

down on her head

and I love that I can spontaneously stay out late

and I love that I can randomly leave the house without having to

pack like some sort of doomsday prepper. You know?

Nappies and bottles and all the time, "Mummy, why is the sky blue?

"Mummy, why are the trees green? Mummy, why are you crying? Again!"

Stop it.

See?

You want it too. You're just not owning up to it.

And every time I try to talk to you about it, you run away.

-I do not run away.

-Er... Yes, you do.

This morning, when I tried to talk to you about it,

you literally, like, ran away.

In jogging gear.

OK. Look, I know this race is important to you...

Are you sure you haven't got all day?

(I just want you to go and talk to her.)

Look, I'm sorry I shouted.

It's just nerves.

-I'm actually so grateful Jamie's got someone who cares so much.

-He is called JJ.

-No.

He's not, Denise. I'm sorry. He's called Jamie.

That's why it took Hilary so long to find him,

cos Jordan used a fake name.

I've got the birth certificate somewhere...

Thing is, just like you're a good woman who has been

caring for my little boy, I'm a good woman who had that boy snatched.

And I've lost so much time with him and I desperately want him back.

So, please...

Can you see if he'd say hello to his mummy?

DOOR CLOSES

FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

I don't really know anything about what it's like to be an alcoholic.

No...

No, you don't.

So, tell me then.

Is there room for a small one in here?

Eh, JJ?

Ah.

Oh...

It's cosy in here, isn't it?

Yeah.

Have you been listening to us talking?

Your... Your mum wants to see you.

But if you don't, that's OK.

Are you scared of her?

No? Then what is it?

Say I did the washing up.

OK...

What did your daddy tell you? Did he say why Mummy left?

Cos I'm hard work.

Oh, no, no. No, JJ, you're... Honey, you're not hard work at all.

You're not. Is that why you washed up?

Oh, come here. Come here.

Listen...

You mustn't think that. Your mummy doesn't think that.

She loves you very much.

-Really?

-Really, I promise.

I miss her.

Course you do.

And do you prefer being called Jamie or JJ?

-Jamie is my favourite.

-Jamie...

OK.

And...

Do you miss being with her too?

Yeah.

Come here.

I wake up every morning at five o'clock and I go to the offy.

I know the geezer that owns it.

As soon as he opens up, I'll buy three cans of strong lager,

I sit in the motor,

I down the first in one.

I give it a minute.

And I down the second.

By the time I get home, I've done the third and you lot

are not even up.

Wow.

That sees me through till nine.

9:30.

Did you do that today?

You lot, you know...

You take it personal, but I just need to drink.

I see.

I didn't...

I didn't mean for you to be involved in this.

After what happened last week,

with you dropping a building on my head, don't you think you owe me?

Yeah, but...

-I can't stop.

-I'm not asking that.

Just... Just come to the meeting.

You can bring the bottle with you if you like. I'll hide it in my bag.

What's the point?

It's like what Gran would do, right? All front.

Sometimes, you've got to say something's true until it is true.

It's how I got most of my boyfriends, if I'm honest.

I'm joking.

Come on then. What do you reckon?

I'm afraid I can't wait for much longer.

I've got to get to my next appointment.

She'll get him.

Someone to see you.

Jamie...

His dad told him that you'd left because he's hard work.

He hid under the table because he was afraid of putting you off again.

What?

-No, that's not true.

-It's OK. It's OK. I told him.

-Why don't you tell her about your washing up?

-I done it for free,

Mummy.

-Such a good boy.

-See? I told you you're not hard work.

Yeah? Now, why don't you go and give your mummy a hug? Go on.

The meeting's finished.

It took me ages to talk him in to coming.

Please.

Thanks for seeing him.

I can't let him into the group.

Unless you answer me one question, Phil.

Phil, can you hear me?

Are you listening?

Do you want to stop drinking?

Yes or no, Phil?

Say it's true until it is true.

Yeah.

I do.

Yeah.

Did you tell Phil that I wanted to get back together with him?

Oh, right. So that is what the lipstick was all about, then?

-I'm not interested in Phil, all right? He's a mess!

-Yeah.

Well, I'm glad to hear it. I did think it was a bit odd.

Your days of teenage kicks are well and truly over, aren't they?

Do you know what? I've had it with you today. You're on your own.

Drink? Only as mates.

I know your days of teenage kicks are behind you.

-Vodka and tonic as well, please, Trace.

-OK.

I found a proper cheap flight to Rome.

-That's good, babe. That's good.

-Only problem is it don't leave for another 24 hours.

Do you reckon you can wait that long?

All right?

Hi.

Our chat earlier didn't go that well.

Mainly because I don't want you to go to Italy. It's selfish of me.

Do you remember these?

I kept them for sentimental reasons, not cos I'm a hoarder.

I thought you might want to take them as a keepsake.

To remind you of the neurotic market inspector back home who loves you.

Or they're just going to be really annoying to pack?

I'm not taking them.

Stupid idea cos baggage allowance and all that, so...

You can't just go around telling people that you love them

when you don't even go out with them.

I'm sorry, but you had your chance to fight for our relationship

-when we split up and you didn't take it.

-Yeah.

-So, what if I'm fighting for you now?

-You just said it would be selfish to stop me from going.

Then now, I'm a selfish hypocrite. OK?

Cos I know things are a bit of a mess at home

and this is going to make it even more of a mess,

but I just kind of really badly need you to stay,

so that we can start going out with each other again.

He's so big.

I'm sorry, Amelle. I really have to get to that other appointment now.

-But he spent most of the time under the table.

-We talked about this.

So...

What happens now?

Well, we gradually let JJ... Sorry, Jamie, spend more time with his mum.

Does that mean daily visits?

-Weekly?

-We'd like to arrange something for in a few days' time.

No, no...

Nah...

This is ridiculous, isn't it?

You have to understand that when I took Jamie on, you know...

You kind of... You let them in...

So...

If I was defensive, it was just an instinct.

-But I hate to be a part of him being taken...

-It wasn't your fault.

Even so, even so... I don't want to be a part of that any longer.

So, if this is what is best for Jamie, then um...

-Then he should be with his mum, you know?

-What? Now?

Is that what you want, Jamie?

You want to go and live with your mummy?

Jamie, I'm going to say goodbye.

I love you.

And I'm going to get to see you very soon.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

-That was the right thing to do.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I'm just... I'm going to go and...

I'm going to go up. If you could just see them out, Carmel.

You were right about Dad this morning. I should have listened.

I'm sorry, Ben. Really.

Anyway, you found a place yet, for you and Dennis?

No, not yet, but there's an auction tomorrow for a house I've got a really good feeling about.

It's not far.

Just so you know, Dad's definitely going to his hepatolo-thingy

-tomorrow. And he's in with that counsellor woman's next group.

-He went to the meeting?

Well, he was drunk and he only did it to shut me up, but maybe that's how everyone starts to stop.

-Where is he now?

-Sleeping it off.

He knows he messed up today, so... Just wants to try again tomorrow.

Sober.

I'm going to try with him. He's my dad, so...

Maybe there's hope for him yet.

Maybe your sister's not so bad after all.

Oi! Don't you dare! We're not over that line yet!

This is like that bloke who was helped over

-the line by his dad in the Olympics in the '90s.

-Yeah, that is spot on.

Except there were thousands of people and everybody cried.

-Well, apart from all that. Come on!

-Ready? Ready?

Woo! We made it!

Sorry I don't want kids, Son.

I don't want to put anyone else first.

I just want to put you first.

Yeah? You're my main girl.

I love you to bits.

And I love you to bits.

-And not living in a vomity warzone is pretty cool.

-Yeah.

I'm telling you, kids are a nightmare.

PHIL SNORES

Start again tomorrow, then.