11/04/2016 EastEnders

I thought you were getting this fixed.

-Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, L.

-Please.

-That was mint. Thanks for that, Abs.

-Oh, it's all right.

Are you feeling all right, Phil?

-No.

-Well, here. This'll help.

He ain't due his ration until lunch time.

He needs it now, look at him.

What, am I invisible or something?

Eh?

Just relax, will you?

I'm just going to...

I'm just going to go and check on the car lot,

then I'm going to pop by the Arches.

Well, we ain't got much on till later.

Well, we'll have to see what we can do about that, won't we?

Otherwise there's no point paying you two mugs, is there?

Can you help me find Ollie's changing bag?

Monkey Nuts starts in 20 minutes.

He's hardly going to get detention if he's late, is he?

Anyway, he should be listening to a bit of, like, Primal Scream.

None of that pony they play there.

It's about developing social skills, you know that.

I'm joking, L. I'm joking.

The beer pumps aren't working. I think it's the pipes.

Oh, great(!) We're opening soon.

I'll sort that out, don't worry about that.

Lady Di!

Oh, great, I'm going to have to go and get a new one now, aren't I?

-I can't turn up with this.

-L, take a breather, sit down...

I ain't got time to sit down.

He's my dad. I look after him.

You can dry.

You really don't think Ben will believe me.

No. No, I don't -

because then he'll find out that you're a thief and a liar.

That's rich...coming from the girl who faked a pregnancy.

Like I said, do your worst.

Oh, I intend to, babes.

You better watch your back today, yeah?

Yeah, no, that sounds great.

I'll get the blueprints from the architect

and I'll see you there, yeah?

All right, mate, cheers.

Right, I just offered Andy and Linford the contract.

Going to meet up with them later and discuss.

-Yeah?

-Yeah. Why don't you come?

I could do with your input.

Look, Hannah's been charged, Ron.

All right? It's over.

I dreamt about her the other night - Danielle.

I dreamt she was pregnant.

Can you imagine me a granny?

HE CHUCKLES

-Well, you have got a few grey hairs growing there.

-Get off!

-THEY LAUGH

-Come on, meet us later.

It'll take your mind off things.

Yeah, maybe.

So, what are your plans for today, Stace?

I was just thinking, maybe go for a walk.

Get Arthur some nappies and wipes.

Cool.

Well, good luck with it, yeah?

-Thanks.

-See you in a bit, mate.

How are you feeling?

Yeah, I feel a bit nervous

but I've got to try and do normal things by myself, haven't I?

And you'll be great.

Just don't push yourself.

You've got all the time in the world

and, if you need me,

just call me, yeah?

-I'll be there.

-OK.

-All right.

Minute Mart run out of gossip magazines today?

Never judge a book by its cover, Abs.

I...

I get paid this week, so I can give you 200 quid.

Have you ever read this?

I mean, the lengths people will go to just to survive.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Dog eat dog, ain't it?

Do you want the money or not?

I want you and Ben gone.

Your dad needs him here, do you not get that?

He needs both of you.

Stop making out that you give a stuff about my dad.

This is about YOU saving your own skin.

Eh...

Delivery for you.

You opened it?

How'd you afford it anyway?

Dad paid.

I need it for school, don't I, next week?

Mm-hmm, right.

Abi, was there if you don't believe me.

Weren't you, Abs?

Yep.

I need to go.

Where are you going?

Oi!

She's up to something, you know.

Oh, girls that age - I wouldn't get involved.

I'll see you after work.

Abi...

Sorry, I forgot to say,

thanks for agreeing to stay.

You know, it's the best thing to do for Dad.

I really appreciate it.

OK.

Right, well, bye.

Bye.

Oh, hello, Jack.

Hello, Stacey.

Oh.

Oh, look at him.

He's a right cracker, ain't you?

JACK LAUGHS

Abi!

-Listen, we need to catch up, yeah?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Have a drink or something, yeah?

-Yeah.

-See you later, darling.

-You all right, darling?

-Erm... No, not really.

Can we grab a coffee?

Listen, I've got to get these drawings to the builders.

Can we do it later?

Listen, have you thought any more about going away?

No, why?

Well, you're the only family I've got left here, ain't you?

-Family? Yeah, right(!)

-Sorry?

Oh, nothing.

-Have we got a problem?

-Well, you don't care.

You only turn up when there's money to be made.

Abi!

Try that.

Ah, we have beer.

Sweet.

Look, Mick...

L's just having a bad day today, that's all it is.

Well, can I help?

Well, I reckon she needs a night out.

Just take her mind off everything.

She just don't like leaving the boy and neither do I, so...

Well, if Linda won't come to the party,

let's bring the party to Linda.

If only you owned a pub, hmm?

A good old Queen Vic karaoke,

we ain't done one of them in ages.

Carter family tradition, isn't it?

That's a blinding idea, Sharon. That's a blinding idea.

Right, well, I shall pop out and spread the word.

-Tonight!

-No time like the present.

Beautiful.

-You all right, Ab?

-Hiya.

We've got bangers and mash on special today

and nowhere near enough spuds.

Can you nip out? Take whatever Martin's got.

Maris Piper if he's got them, best for mashing.

Louise is going to tell him everything.

She wants me and Ben out of Walford for good.

Pay her off.

She already turned down 200 quid

and if I give her more, and she takes it, where does it stop?

She's always going to have this over me,

she's always going to have that letter.

Then I'm sorry -

but you've only got one way out of this, love.

You have to cough.

-You have to tell him.

-What?

It'll be a thousand times worse if it comes from her.

Get in that she's been blackmailing you.

See how Little Miss Sunshine likes them apples.

What about my potatoes?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, come on, Buster.

I thought I could count on you.

Sharon, I make people's ears bleed.

Well, so does Linda.

Look, Mick's trying to cheer her up -

so, please, come along and show your support, yeah?

-I'll be there, I'll be there.

-Cheers. Maggie!

-You'll need a hard hat if you're heading back home.

-What?

Ben and Louise are tearing strips out of each other,

I was lucky to get out alive.

Move! SHE PANTS

You are a liar!

Just ask her yourself then.

I found it...

in her room!

Of all people, Abi, how could you lie to me?

I'm so sorry.

What if my dad finds out? Huh?

What do you think it's going to do to him?

Why didn't you just tell me the truth?

I wanted to, I did,

and I was trying to find a way -

but I could never find the right time, or the right words.

And then Babe told me to fake a miscarriage.

Oh, and I know shouldn't have agreed, I shouldn't,

but she put all this pressure on me, Ben.

You know, I just felt trapped.

What you talking about?

Babe's letter.

I found this.

There was no baby?

Awks.

What's so special about this karaoke anyway?

What do you mean, "What's so special?"

It's for your mother.

She needs to let her hair down for a couple of hours, like we all do,

-so just put a bit of effort in.

-I don't know what to pick!

Baby, I was just wondering

if you could look after the little man tonight?

Well, why can't Nancy? She hates singing.

Oh, look, I said I'd meet Tam in here later on anyway.

Fine, I'll tell Sonia we're baby-sitting.

So romantic(!)

-I know. Thanks.

-No, Mick.

Babe, it's a few drinks.

We're just going to, you know...

-He'll be asleep.

-I've got to organise tomorrow for him.

There's this baby theatre thing at the community centre

-and it clashes with something else...

-L, listen...

No, Mick, OK? Just, please, no.

COGS-TURNING RINGTONE

This phone winds me right up, I'm telling you.

I can never hear it ring.

Yes, get in!

Hold up, hold up.

Don't listen to your mother. We're doing this tonight, all right?

We're doing it.

Crack on. What are you, mutton? Crack on.

MICK LAUGHS

You went to the doctors.

You got a due date.

I was desperate.

I thought I was going to lose you

and then it just all got out of control...

and then she found out.

Yeah, why don't you tell Ben how you started blackmailing me

-to get rid of us?

-This ain't about me.

-DOOR SLAMS

-Hello?

Don't tell him about this.

He don't need it right now.

Jay said you two was having a barney.

Well...?

Just usual brother and sister stuff.

Well, you ain't in the school playground now,

so pack it in, and kiss and make up.

We're going to go out tonight, as a family.

What?

I thought we could grab some grub at Beale's, eh?

They must do some rabbit food there as well.

Me and Ben can't, we're...

No.

No, you're right, Dad.

Let's do it.

Could be fun.

That's it. One, two, three...

Ten, 60.

That's all right, don't worry about the rest. It's fine.

There you go, my dear. All right, have a nice day.

See you later.

Hello, you all right?

What you got there?

Nappies AND wipes?! Whoa-ho.

And I've been to the park, haven't we, Arthur?

-Fed the ducks.

-See, I told you your mummy rocks, didn't I?

Listen, Beefy from football says he's got a van for sale

but he wants me to go and see it tonight -

and the problem is, Kyle is working, so...

-I'll be fine.

-You sure?

Well, yeah, you need a van for the stall, don't you?

Yeah. Sonia's getting a bit fed up, I think,

of her car stinking of onions.

-Just go.

-What are you going to do?

Go home, stick your feet up, have a rest?

Actually, I was going to go wild

and go in the cafe and have a cup of tea.

-Can you take a break?

-I'd love to,

but I've got to go and see Tam and settle this week's pitch fees.

But listen, Stace, I am so proud of you.

Thanks.

-Go on, little man. See you later.

-See ya.

Mas...

Welcome back.

Thank you.

He's getting big.

How's Shabnam?

I'm not...

I'm not ready to talk to you about her, OK?

We're not going to do that.

-Mas, I'm really sorry.

-Mas...!

Oh, love.

Slightly worrying because it says raised ground floor...

No, I just mean there's no...

Don't worry about it.

-Hey.

-How's he doing?

Yeah, he's fine. He's fine. He's a lot better, thanks to you guys.

Well, you know, brickies by day,

crime fighting super-heroes by night.

Keeping the streets safe from baby-snatching, psycho teens.

Seriously, though, we're glad he's OK.

So, what you boys doing later? The least we can do is buy you a drink.

I heard there's karaoke in the Vic tonight, cheap drinks an' all.

I'm just going to go and change Matthew, yeah?

Ron, we could go out for a night, couldn't we?

Talking about pipes and fuse boxes?

I don't think so.

Yeah, but it's better than being cooped up in that house

thinking about her.

"Her?"

Do you mean Danielle?

Ron, you were the one who said you wanted to get over it properly.

Yeah, and you're the one who's just mentioned her name again.

-Excuse me, I'm going to change Matthew at home.

-Ronnie...

-Cheers.

-Oh.

-Oh, sorry.

It's my fault. I was miles away.

Hello, sweetie.

Oh, so sweet.

We should get them together some time for a play date.

Yeah, yeah. Sounds good.

Well, just let me know where and when.

Are you all right?

-I'm sorry. I'm being stupid.

-No, wait, wait, wait, look...

do you want to come to mine and have a cup of tea?

-Yeah?

-Yeah, thanks.

-Come on.

Where are you?

Please, Ben, just call me back.

DOOR SLAMS

Where have you been?

I thought you'd want this.

Babe's letter.

Look, I'm begging you.

Please, Ben, I'll do anything - just forgive me.

-Pathetic.

-Shut up.

-Make me.

So, when's he seeing the consultant next?

In a few weeks' time.

And we're...

We're pushing them as hard as we can.

You know, to make sure he gets all the right support.

The waiting must be tough.

It just feels like...

everything's falling apart.

I mean, Johnny's gone,

Lee's been so miserable,

and Mick and Nancy were everything to each other

but not any more...

because of Ollie.

And I don't know what to do, Ronnie.

We're broken and I don't know how to fix it.

At least you still can.

What do you mean?

It was the anniversary of my daughter's death last week.

You know, Danielle?

-Oh, Ronnie, I'm sorry...

-No, no, no, it's fine, honestly.

I've learnt to deal with it over time.

But, I don't know, this year...

..everywhere I turn,

I just keep being reminded of it constantly.

I mean, the reason I'm telling you all this is that...

Us mums, we go through a lot, don't we?

But you're not alone.

Thank you.

Listen, why don't you pop over to the Vic tonight?

We could have a proper drink?

Hmm. No, I'm not much of a singer.

What?

The karaoke.

Mick. I told him, "No!"

Maybe he's trying to fix things.

Do you know what? I'm game if you are.

I'm not sure about that.

Has he gone off?

Just. I think he's teething.

Oh, it'll get easier with Arthur.

Well, it's not that.

Don't you worry about Masood.

It was too soon.

He wasn't even on my list.

Nor were you, actually.

I'll show you.

Here, look.

You've done all that already?

That's brilliant.

Next week, I'm going to try picking Lily up from school.

Kyle's gone to get her today.

Do you think that Mas will ever forgive me?

You leave Mr Huffy-Puff to me.

Mr what?

Huffy-Puff.

THEY GIGGLE

ARTHUR CRIES

Do you want to give him a cuddle?

Really?

Just...

you concentrate on you and your family...

Nothing else...

cos that's all that really matters - family.

FEEDBACK FROM MICROPHONE

One, two.

-ECHO: One, two.

-Give us a song then!

No chance.

A-ha, I think I might have a drink tonight.

Look at that!

So, Billy, you going to get up there later?

Not a chance.

I got burnt the last time I done karaoke.

Oh, no. What happened?

It was horrible.

Standing up there on that stage, all these people looking at me.

Aw, were you nervous?

More than nervous...

At first I was afraid...

# Then I was petrified! #

Go on, Bill, get out of here.

Ah, there she is.

Hello.

-Want a drink?

-Ah, yes, please.

If you try and get me to sing a song, I will dump you.

Loud and clear.

Where's Andy?

-He's dog-sitting. Don't ask.

-All right.

Listen, Ron, I'm sorry if I pushed it a bit too hard.

I'm sorry if I was a bit moody.

"A bit?!"

Whoa.

Ah, ain't that lovely? Ain't it lovely?

-What, are you jealous, Mick?

-What are you talking about?

I think she's referring to your stag.

Yeah, well, we don't talk about that, do we?

What do you mean we don't talk about it?

What, that meant nothing to you? Here, come here. Come here.

Get out of it!

I'm going to check on Ollie.

So, you sticking around, then, or what, this time?

Yes, mate. Yes, I am.

Good man, what do you want?

Yeah, I'll have a lager and a white wine for the Mrs.

-You all right? You hardly said anything at dinner.

-Fine.

PHIL CLEARS THROAT

You OK, Dad? We don't have to do this.

No, I'm fine.

I'm feeling a bit better, as it happens.

Can I put my name down?

Yeah, yeah, you can. Yeah, of course.

Well, actually, you could probably do with starting it off -

so, give us two minutes, all right?

Mick, the other day, I was out of order,

so if you want me to get out, I will.

Well, it weren't you talking, was it?

You hit rock bottom so...

As long as you don't have a booze in here, we'll be sweet.

Right, what can I get everyone?

I'll have a lemonade.

Vodka Coke, please.

Louise will have a Coke.

Abi will have a white wine. and the two boys will have a beer,

and I'll have an orange juice.

We don't need no booze, do we?

It's all right, I'm fine.

Actually, Sharon, large whisky for me.

Just trying to enjoy myself, is that all right?

Ben, please, we need to talk.

Right, why don't you sit down and I'll bring the drinks over, yeah?

Linzi not coming tonight?

-No, she's busy.

-Oh, shame.

Another one, please.

Easy, tiger.

-Ben...

-Really, Dad?

Keep the change, yeah.

So, what you going to do about butterface?

I think you should pie her, bro.

You could so much better.

Can we have Louise Mitchell, please?

I'm up!

# Cos, baby, now we've got bad blood

# You know it used to be mad love

# So take a look what you've done

# Cos, baby, now we've got bad blood! #

All right, it's me, just checking,

making sure everything's sweet and on track, and...

Just give me a bell back,

because there's a microphone waiting for you,

all right?

She's all Linda needs right now.

Who?

Elaine.

Trust me,

we don't need that woman sticking her oar in.

So, you DIDN'T tell him then?

Yeah.

Yeah, I did.

Yet you're all still playing happy families?

Well, he's just carrying on as if nothing happened.

I don't know what to do, I've tried to talk to him,

-I've tried to...

-First of all, calm down.

How can you tell me to calm down?

Look, maybe it was a relief for him.

What?

His baby never karked it.

So, that's a good thing, ain't it?

If he was going to blow, surely he'd have done it by now.

I mean, Mitchells ain't known for the patient streak, are they?

So, dry your eyes...

and get back out there.

# You and I

# Cos, baby, now we've got bad blood

# So take a look what you've done

# Cos, baby, now we've got bad blood

# Now we've got problems

# And I don't think we can solve 'em

-# You made a really deep cut... #

-Remind me to NEVER cross her!

Ben's knocking them back.

Is all OK?

Yeah, he's just enjoying himself.

Cool.

Well, it's good to see you both out tonight.

You know, after what happened.

Oh, sorry, stupid thing to say.

No, I...

It's good that you have got each other.

-It's how it should be.

-APPLAUSE

And next up - Billy Mitchell, please.

APPLAUSE

-Abi...

-Oh, not now.

BILLY: # Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass

# No treble

# I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass

# No treble. #

So, what - you wanted me gone, so you could rob Dad blind?

Was that the plan, Louise?

I love him.

BEN LAUGHS

You love him yet you steal from him?

You're one twisted little cow, you know that?

She's the twisted one!

Yeah, she's the one who lied about Dad

killing the baby she never even had.

-Shut up! Shut up!

-Ben!

-Shut your mouth!

-Ben, get off me!

Let's wash that mouth out, shall we?

-Ben, get off! Ben!

-Let's wash it out!

-Get off of me!

-Shut up!

TOILET FLUSHES

SHE WAILS

HE RETCHES

BILLY: # I'm all about the bass, 'bout the bass

# No treble

# I'm all about the bass, 'bout the bass

# I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass

# No treble

# I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass

# Hey! #

Hey, you all right?

Yeah, I'm all good, yeah.

Come here.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome, baby.

It's going to be OK, isn't it?

As long as we're all together, that's all that matters.

Yeah. Yeah, of course it is.

I'm really not in the mood for this, Tam.

Yeah, try it - people, human contact. You might like it.

# You know I won't be no stick-figure

# Silicone Barbie doll... #

That little skank. She could have really hurt you.

Are you all right?

Abi...

Abi...

Oh, what are you doing?

What's it look like?

You want to do it in here? What if someone comes in?

Exciting, ain't it?

OK.

Well, you do still love me, don't you?

Of course I do.

I love you, too.

All right, let's do it in here.

Um...

OK.

Ben!

-Come on, Abi.

-Ben?

-Ben!

-Come on, Abi!

-Ben! Ben!

Ben, what are you doing?

# I'm all about that bass...

# I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass... #

Ben! Ben, Ben! Ben, please don't do this.

CHEERING

Turn it off, Bill.

So, I'd like to introduce...

my gorgeous, beautiful girlfriend!

So sweet and innocent, ain't she? Ha!

Like butter wouldn't melt. Ha!

But, it would, actually -

because, actually,

she's a lying, little bitch!

Yeah, and I'll tell you why.

Because, our baby...

Yeah, the one that died.

..never existed.

She made the whole thing up.

Uh-huh.

Abi Branning, ladies and gentleman.

Take a bow then, sweetheart.

-Johnny!

-Go on!