15/08/2016 EastEnders

Apologies, I had to sign for a delivery.

You're in early, Babe.

I'd work all the hours God sends to make it up to you and Mick.

Can't apologise enough for that business with Abi.

Just make sure it never happens again.

On my life, Linda.

Especially since it's such a big week for you.

It's been a long time coming, this trial.

What with it being pushed back.

I'm fine.

You and Mick should go away for a bit.

Mick reckons he's got man flu and I've got a pub to run, so...

Easily solved. I'll move back in.

I could be packed and ready by lunchtime.

PHONE RINGS

All right, Mick, yeah, I thought I heard something downstairs.

-I'll be right up.

-See that? Family look after family.

Hey...

-Hey...

-Hi.

-Erm, about the other night...

Don't.

Don't?

Yeah... You know, we all just do mad things, don't we?

It's just, we don't really know that they're mad until

after we've done them.

Kush! Can I borrow you for a minute?

PHONE RINGS

Oh, hold on, hold on...

Oh, sweet. Mark's awake.

Sightseeing, here we come.

Oh, you've taken the day off, have you?

Yeah, I've taken a week off.

Anyway, listen, will you just keep an eye on that one?

Don't let him pack up early.

-All right.

-Nice one.

SMOKE ALARM BLARES

Oh! Do you know what this is? There's too many of us living here.

Somebody's got to go.

If it's that bad, I'll move out.

No, Babe, look, I... I was, I was just mouthing off.

Linda said I could move back in the Vic. So...adios, amigos.

What, Linda actually said that?

Well, I must say, that's saved us an awkward conversation.

You got a moving out time? Only, I'll set my watch.

-Can I owe you the rest?

-Yes...

Mm. Here we go.

Coffee, please.

Oh, thanks, angel. I'll, um, pay you back.

I thought you already did that the other night.

Sh...! Not so loud. Naughty!

-Rarr!

-Woo!

Hello. How's the new business?

Not as busy as last week but you'd expect it to drop off till

word gets round, I suppose.

Having said that, I don't suppose you know your way around a computer?

I know a few things.

-You do? Oh, good.

-But...

You can help me with this.

It's the social media profile for the salon.

Hmm, and it needs...

Well, it's got no traffic going to it, ain't being seen by anyone.

Oh, well, then, you just got to interact, that's all.

You know, follow a few people, let them know you're out there.

Get you and your social media savvy!

Yeah, it's just having kids, that's all...

Well, work your magic on this and I'll give you

a few free treatments, get rid of some of them wrinkles.

I didn't know I had any.

You won't have when I'm finished with you.

Oh, Dot.

-I can't stop.

-Huh?

Mr Oppodopoulos' son, Apostulos, said he'd be dropping in the

laundrette this morning. I don't want to be found missing.

Oh, shame, I would've loved the company.

Oh, then, you're in luck.

How would you like to come round to mine this evening for the

evening meal? Say six o'clock?

Seems as though we're making a habit of that, eh?

Patrick, is that a yes or a no?

Oh, Dot, I'd be delighted.

Oh, good. So will Claudette.

Claudette?

I did say I'd invited her, didn't I? Ta-ta.

Cheers.

So listen, um, when I...

When I get this ring, is there a budget?

It's the promise of my eternal love, you see,

you can't put a price on that.

Well, that depends on how long you live.

Oh, cheers, nice thought(!)

What the hell?

If you didn't want me to see it, you should have hidden it better.

-Roxy...

-Ain't you supposed to be baby-sitting?

I've dropped them with Sharon.

That's from Dean.

Yeah, well done, the ex-cop, well done(!)

What the hell is he writing to you for?

No, do you know what? I don't want to know.

Right, why can't you just stay out of anything?

So I take it ring-buying's on hold?

Roxy.

-Go away.

-I was trying to help.

I've got it sorted, all right?

My police officer, she said I can give evidence from behind a screen.

Yes, but I was trying to get you to avoid all of that.

All right? So I asked Dean to change his plea to guilty.

Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. Last week, last week,

you were convinced he was going to be put away.

He's going to go down. That's what you said, Ron.

He will.

But you wrote to him. So, what, what does that mean?

I'm going to mess it up, am I?

No, of course not...

You know, I'm probably going to be the first witness.

And two min...two minutes ago, I was ready.

I thought, yeah, it's going to be tough, it's going to be tough,

but you know what? At least I'll get to see the back of him...

And now what are you saying to me,

are you saying that's not going to happen?

I'm going to call Sharon and ask her to have the kids a bit longer.

Yeah, she'll love that.

Come on, it'll be fine.

So, I've been hearing things about you.

-What?

-Came straight over.

Oh, no, listen, listen, I...

Bumped into Patrick,

-and he said you'd done loads of things like this.

-What?

Basically, I've got a job interview with Mr Lister in about an hour.

He called me earlier, he said someone had to cancel on him.

OK, OK, so what's the panic?

Well, it's my first one.

Interview?

Ever.

And I know I'd be a really great market enforcement officer,

I just... I just know I would.

-Yeah, course you will.

-Yeah?

Come on... you're going to take a deep breath.

I'm going to get you through this.

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

Brilliant!

I was just on my way over.

Glad I got here in time then.

Only, I've had a word with Mick and the upshot is that we're

happy for you to work at the Vic...

You're both stars, I couldn't be happier...

However, moving in...

There's a long way to go before that happens.

But I've packed, I've told the others.

Babe, what you did to Abi is going to take a lot of getting over.

Right? So moving in?

Lee and Whitney nearly split up because of you.

I... I see.

It's not the end of the world.

You're right. I'm sorry, I got over excited. Never mind, eh?

No harm done.

Not at all. Right. Well...

I'll get unpacked and get making a nice old cottage pie for lunch.

Oh, actually,

Abi's trying out a new dish today.

-So if you could just help her out.

-Of course.

Make it go smoothly and maybe she won't mind you working there.

It's her call, is it?

Well, not entirely, but she's been trying so hard,

we want to keep her happy, don't we?

I suppose big ears heard all that.

Don't you dare laugh at me.

No-one wants you.

That better be the Alzheimer's.

Where do you go when you've got no-one? Poor old Babe.

If it was me, I'd give you the job straight away.

PHONE RINGS

Kush?

Mum, I need you to grab me a coffee, please. I can't leave the stall.

All right.

That son of mine.

Wants me to get him a coffee. He can't leave his stall, he says.

I won't forget this. You're an angel.

PHONE RINGS

Yes?

When are we going to talk?

Oh, Kush...

Look, your mum's a friend, she's a very good friend.

And you don't come across many of them too often. I'm sorry.

Leaving Walford? What a sight for sore eyes.

Shut the door, Claudette,

you don't want to lose an arm when I drive off.

You really are leaving? I think I'll throw a party.

Won't just be Les and Pam dancing in the street.

We all will.

Keep talking, Claudette.

Yeah, and you keep driving.

Two things...

One - you shouldn't have brought Les and Pam up.

Only someone needs to keep that pervert off the streets.

Two - maybe I'll stay. For my family.

Because unlike yours, they need me.

Vincent'll never stop reeling from everything you've done.

And there's still some horror stories I could tell him.

You know nothing.

Maybe I'll call him now.

Babe? We're getting busy.

Just got a few things to do, but I will be there, promise you.

Thanks, darling.

Ah, Carmel. I was just looking for you.

Mr Lister. It's... It's not that time already, is it?

No, no, no, no, no.

I, erm, I've been locked out of the office.

No-one can find the key.

So is the interview cancelled?

No, no, we can still do it...

I know it's not ideal, but we could do it in here.

I'll get us a table at the back.

Oh...

Part of the job entails coping with the unexpected.

Which describes me to a T, Mr Lister. I'll get the teas.

Oh!

Denise...

Leslie.

Sit down.

Call this therapy, Les.

Therapy you and your missus need to start paying for.

I don't understand.

I'm talking about your sickness.

And if you don't like the treatment then I'll go public and drag

you across the Square if I have to.

High heels click-clacking all the way.

There's a lot wrong in Walford.

It needs me more than it realises.

I was only thinking about you.

All right, I know I went about it in the wrong way but you have to

remember I was there before,

in court. I mean, all right, it was completely different circumstances.

You don't have to bring this up, Ron.

Yeah, but I do. For your sake.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's terrifying.

I'll cope. Somehow.

Well, at least let me and Jack try to explain what's going to happen.

Because the defence,

they're going to come at you, and it's not going to be pretty.

I'll, um, I'll tell them to keep it down.

She testifying tomorrow?

First up, I heard.

I want to buy them a drink.

Let's get it from both of us.

I'll be behind a screen.

The trouble is, you won't feel like it.

I think I was better off being blissfully ignorant.

Trust me, you weren't.

Here. From both of us.

Rox...

..yours is a double.

I'm hard-working, dedicated, very much a people person.

Always considerate.

Sounds ideal. Now tell me, what do you know about markets?

Lots. My son owns one.

Owns one or rents one?

He, erm, owns his own stall.

I mean, rents, of course.

Now I have to say, your CV is rather strange.

It's practically blank.

Well, that's just the way my life panned out, really.

I worked hard with my husband on his stall but it was never

an official job.

Then the kids came along.

And if you think that was easy, well, it wasn't.

Running a home, having a family, that is hard work, Mr Lister.

And that's every day, Sunday to Sunday, morning, noon and night.

And I'm proud of what I've achieved.

I didn't slack for one second, and I'd like to think I did a good job.

You OK?

It's Babe. She came over and threatened me.

She's not letting up.

Had the nerve to call it therapy.

Look, just sit tight for a bit. Yeah?

Yeah, and you can sit tight as well.

I know what you're like, Claudette, but this is our problem,

and I'll deal with it.

I hear you're cooking a very tasty lasagne.

It's going to take more than a few cheesy compliments, Babe.

Got to start somewhere. Now, what do you want me to do?

There isn't anything.

Must be something.

No. You know what they say, too many cooks and all that.

Look, I've been in loads of courts so I can tell you what'll happen.

Then you'll be prepared, and who knows,

maybe you'll surprise 'em, you know, knock the defence off kilter.

Feels like I'm climbing into a boxing ring.

You are.

Ron, I can see why you wrote to him, OK?

Anything that helps put him away, Rox.

That's the bottom line, Dean is not walking free.

Ugh!

-Oh!

-Oh!

-I am so sorry, Masood.

I don't know how that got in there.

That's a health and safety issue, you know?

I'm so sorry, I'll get you a full refund and...and a free drink.

As if I haven't got enough on my plate.

-Problems?

-There's a hair in Masood's dinner. It's one of yours, Abi.

I always check the plates.

Don't worry, Abi, love, this is a big job for one person to cope with.

Mistakes are bound to happen.

Babe, tell me that you didn't.

Linda? I'm trying to make a good impression, remember?

Everyone's having a go today.

She must have, though. Because I'm thorough,

I'm almost OCD when it comes to checking the food I send out.

Abi, that's a terrible thing to say.

Look at her. She's so lying.

Why would I do that? All I want is this.

-You haven't changed one bit.

-Look, can you both just get back to work?

Why can't you see it? It is plain as day that she has done this.

I honestly don't know what I've done to make her say that.

I bet you found one of my hairs and deliberately stuffed it in the food.

-Abi, not so loud.

-She'll do it again. She will.

No-one will want to eat in here.

-People can hear you.

-Who knows what else she's put in the food?

Get out!

-What?

-Half the pub can hear you kicking off.

-I don't want my punters listening to that.

-Linda, please...

Come and get your pay. Babe, take over.

Go on, hop it.

-Hello, Dot.

-Oh, how lovely. Oh, you shouldn't have.

Am I the first to arrive?

Let's just say, you're fashionably late.

I'll just put these in a vase.

This is Dot's doing.

Yeah, I gathered that.

Well, I think for her sake we should enjoy the moment.

She's gone to a lot of trouble.

I suppose I can. But only because it's Dot.

All right?

Teen says she's happy for me to stay a bit longer.

Dunno why I'm telling you, you can't even remember this morning.

Main thing you need to know is, I am needed.

Trouble is, though, no-one needs a Sylvie.

Not when you're a total ruddy liability.

In fact, if I were you, I'd start making plans.

They'll have to move you out sooner or later.

It's not like you're going to get any better.

Tam, can you do your old man a favour and just call me back?

Please?

I don't suppose there's any point in asking either of you.

About?

Social media.

Oh, Kush is a bit of a whizz. He does online shopping and everything.

Well, Mr Media, what you got for me?

Um, well, it's a bit of a work in progress.

Don't be bashful.

Well, I was just working on your profile, and...and...

I just... There's a bit of a glitch.

-What is that?

-Yeah, that picture,

I just don't know how to get rid of it.

He's naked...

Well, I just downloaded the wrong photo and I... Well, I was just

trying to show that, you know, that your salon appeals to both sexes.

You said you knew about these things.

-Yeah, I... I do...

-He's starkers!

-This is going to drive people away, not lure them in.

-Well...

I...

-Mas...

-She'll sort it.

I should've left well alone.

But she looked at me with that big hopeful smile as if I was

somehow really cool and...

modern and...with it.

HE GROWLS

Erm... What was that?

-What?

-Are you two...?

Us two...?

I knew it would happen.

We're just having a bit of fun.

Oh, come on, Denise, I've got no wife, my kids have moved on,

I spend most of my life delivering letters.

Oh, Mas, it's fine.

No, no. We are all on repeat, day after day, same old thing.

Until we ARE the old things.

So we thought we'd jazz it up a bit.

Know what? We should mark this moment.

-What moment?

-Telling ourselves that there's life in the old dogs yet.

Come on. We are making a pact.

All right.

-Carmel...

-Hands out. Come on, hands out.

Denise!

Right. From this moment, we are still at the races.

We are in there, living, laughing...and loving.

Loving who, though?

Whoever takes your fancy. We're all single so why the heck not?

Agreed?

Agreed. Very agreed.

Denise?

Yeah, like you say, you know. Why the heck not?

Yes!

Well, that's enough sherry for me, cos I've got to work in the morning.

Oh, Dot, thanks for a wonderful evening.

No, you don't have to go. You can let yourselves out.

But if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my bed. Nighty-night.

-Night.

-Night.

If you want to go, that's fine by me.

It'd be a shame, though.

Would it?

Who wants to drink alone?

You've hardly said a word all night.

Haven't I?

What is it, Les?

Are you peckish? I might see if the chippie's still open.

I knew Mick wouldn't want Babe back.

He's not the only one.

Son...

Bex, is that you home?

Oh, all gone.

Yeah, perhaps it's a sign to finally go home.

Dot will be disappointed.

She's fast asleep now.

No, I meant that her plan for us didn't work out.

Cupid's arrow missed.

It has been a lovely evening, Patrick Truman.

Still is.

My place is only a few yards away.

Why don't I get another bottle of rum and see you back at your place?

What's this?

Hot milk.

Seriously?

If you don't want it, you can always throw it at Babe.

That'd really get my job back.

All right, I'll do it.

It's not funny, Lauren.

Who said I was joking?

All right, seriously, if you want me to go round there,

I'll tell Linda she was out of order.

No, I don't even want to talk about it.

Where you going?

Nowhere.

KNOCK AT DOOR

You took your time.

Well, I wasn't expecting to hear from you.

Wasn't expecting to call you either.

Look, I know the score. Yeah? If you're worried I'm going to blab...

I didn't nick my sister's keys so that me and you could have

a quiet chat.

Right.

Why...why did you nick them, then?

I'll tell you in the morning.

SHE WHISTLES

FOOTSTEPS

Who let you in here?

Hey! Open this door!

Linda!

Mick!

Hello!

Mick!