28/02/2017 EastEnders

You could have told me this yesterday.

I didn't know yesterday.

You said you had the money.

I did.

I...I thought I did.

And you can't even phone?

Look, listen, the work on the roof don't start till tomorrow,

so I thought I'd tell you face-to-face.

This ain't Mick's fault.

Just give me till Friday and I'll pay you for the work you've done.

It's not easy, is it?

Running a business.

No, what you talking about? It's brilliant.

Just get the ceiling done in the bar and get the Ladies' sorted,

and the rest is just going to have to wait.

Thank you.

But it's your birthday tomorrow.

No-one goes out midweek.

That's what important, isn't it? Birthdays?

I can swap some shifts around.

Look, I don't want to do anything expensive, OK?

I mean, we've got Jane's new physio starting next week.

-Don't make this about my physio.

-I'm not!

-Oh, come on, you want a big night.

-No!

I just want to go to the Vic, have a few drinks with some mates.

That's it.

I'll ask Abi to babysit.

And what about the other thing?

-I'm going to the restaurant.

-Oh, that's right, walk away again.

What other thing?

JANE SIGHS

He's been worrying about his health,

and the nurse said he had a high BMI.

I am not worrying.

That's why we're eating blueberries?

It's going to take more than blueberries.

It was just a routine check-up, that's all.

So why aren't you sleeping?

Have you still not called about your results?

If there was anything to worry about,

they would have been in touch, wouldn't they?

-Just pick up the phone!

-Pass the word about Friday, please.

Am I missing something?

I don't get it. Why don't you just call them?

I'm going to be 48, OK?

My dad was 48 when he died.

-Ian...

-Dad, just call the doctor!

DOOR CLOSES

Babe, I'm sure it'll be nothing.

Yeah, cos area management, they just pop in all the time.

You just said what everybody round here's thinking.

All over the local paper.

Look, I'm sure it'll be nothing.

She doesn't even need these headaches.

Maybe she should've thought of that before running her mouth.

Yeah, that's right, blame the victim.

No, no, no, I'm not saying that, you know, she's running her mouth...

No, because she's a victim in all of this, you know.

This is a media stitch up.

They're going to be tapping her phone next, you watch.

-She works in a shop.

-She's still got rights!

She doesn't need the paparazzi up in her face.

Yeah, I think she'll be OK walking down the road, babe.

She don't need management harassing her.

You know she slagged off the shop, yeah?

-But it's true.

-It's not about if it's true.

Look, if one of my staff started running off their mouth

about overpriced cocktails...

It'd be true, because they're overpriced, Vincent.

You'd expect a bit of loyalty.

They're not even in proper glasses!

If I pay £12 for a drink, I don't want it in some old jam jar.

HE LAUGHS

You don't pay for anything!

It's not about me, yeah?

I'm not the one who's always making it about you!

Are we ready for Grandpops?

You want to take Dolly with you?

Listen, she's already lost her baby.

She don't need to lose her job, as well.

-I thought

-I

-looked a state this morning.

My mum had me up half the night again.

Borrow my wheelchair, save your legs?

Tina!

You forgot this one.

Come on.

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

-What you doing?

-What do you think I'm doing?

I'm cancelling, all right?

I'm not having a big do without a permit.

I need to focus on that fine.

Yeah, but, Mick, that's why we're doing it.

Listen, we're already having the ceiling fixed, all right,

without closing the pub. I mean, it's already on top.

If you wanted to call your mum to come and give me a hand...

Stop talking about my mother, you. You're starting to wind me up.

Oh, Mick, leave it up.

Listen, listen, I don't want to get nicked.

Linda doesn't know the half of what's going on here,

it's starting to spiral out of control.

Yeah, I know, but you're not on your own here.

It's a pancake race.

There's two entrants.

I don't have a street permit.

It's not worth the ag, baby.

Which is why I went down the council and I got a permit.

-What?

-Yeah.

Carmel had a contact, so I went down there with me very best smile.

Wow.

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, Johnny. Find that bunting, put it all round the Square.

Well, go on, then.

Mick! Mick, look at all that rubbish.

Environmental Health are going to come in here and shut you down.

What?

-It's nothing.

-Well, go and get a broom, then.

I'm going to go and find more entrants.

SHE GASPS

CRASHING

Bex.

-Bex!

-What?

How are you?

I thought you didn't care?

Yeah, well, we're still...

Look, those things that I said yesterday, all right,

I heard them from that girl, Alex.

And what? I should have told you?

You have no idea what it's like, everyone knowing your business.

What, you mean like everyone knows mine?

Oi, Shakil.

WOLFWHISTLING PLAYS ON PHONE

What did you...?

Thank me later, bruv.

-Where...?

-I made it.

Little shout out to your ex.

Bruv, this is proper nasty.

I took her head from that music thing she put up,

of her singing that stupid song,

and thought it'd look better on somebody else's body.

Who's the...?

Just someone from some porn site.

I bet Bex never did that when she was with you!

I can't believe you've done this.

I've been proper laughing all morning.

It's sick, innit?

Yeah, it's mad.

Oh, come on, Kathy. It's one side of the Square and back,

and there's bubbly for the winner.

Oh, I don't know...

I thought you'd show everyone how it's done.

I'll let you have a glass.

You've got to win it first.

I don't see any competition.

Oh, you don't, do you?

Is that another entrant?

All right, yeah, yeah, put me down.

-What you entering for?

-He said there's no competition.

No chance.

I wasn't talking about you, was I?

You?

Listen, I'll take you all on, yeah?

Whoever you may be.

Oh, this is Konrad, he owns the Polish shop on Turpin Road.

Nice uniform.

He's doing the ceiling for Mick.

Looks like someone's coming third.

HE LAUGHS

You... You can't do that.

The cheapest bottle of bubbly I've ever bought.

-You never bought it!

-See you later, yeah?

Bye.

A tenner only covers one of you.

Here. There you go, babe.

Thank you.

Here you are. Here you are. Ian'll do it.

-Konrad.

-Beale.

I didn't know you two were mates.

BOTH: We're not.

Right, well there's a pancake race in the Square, Ian.

What, as in running?

It's fast walking.

There's all you can eat pancakes afterwards.

Free food. Just your sort of thing.

-Are you doing this?

-I'm winning this.

-That's for Ian.

-Thank you.

Good luck.

Mum!

Tina! What's happened?

-Look at your face!

-Look at the bike!

Darling... Oh, come on, sit down.

Come on.

Yeah, I've got one more shop to visit.

Yeah, the woman who was mouthing off in the paper.

Yeah.

I usually hate disciplinaries.

But, well, this one... Mm.

You know, the woman who was kicking off about zero hours

and wanting a permanent contract?

Yeah, that's the one. I know.

I know.

Please don't kill me. Take what you want...

Who said anything about killing you?

Take the car, but please, please don't hurt me.

You think I'm jacking you?

SHE LAUGHS

You are as stupid as Dee said you were.

What, this isn't a...?

First, you can't park here. Not today.

Unless you want to be covered in pancakes.

-Second...

-Pancakes?

Second, that "woman who was mouthing off in the paper,"

she's my sister.

You take on a Fox,

you get the whole pack of us.

Just hand me my phone.

No, what you're going to do is drive round the block

and find somewhere safer to park,

and me and you are going to have a little chat about my sister.

I'm just carrying out procedure.

Unless you want me to carry out a little "procedure" of my own,

and we're talking bye-bye, future little Becketts,

I think you need to listen to me.

She had a baby.

But, of course, you know that,

because you made her beg for maternity leave.

She hasn't taken the leave because she gave the baby up for adoption.

Which, for a woman, is a very big thing.

I mean, it's bigger than big.

She might make out that she's cool with it,

but it's ripping her apart inside,

and the last thing she needs is some jobsworth like yourself

making anything worse for her.

She gave an interview...

I'm talking.

She may have said a few things that she didn't mean.

Everyone does it.

Like criticism of the workplace...

..racially profiling strangers, accusing them of carjacking.

Ah. Now I never actually...

The thing is,

Dee has never really been the same

since her serial killer husband locked her in the cellar.

You need to drive.

Drive!

He should be here by now.

Now, do I have to make my own pancakes?

No, no, just bring your own pan.

Cos we're already out of lemon juice,

-and we're running low on eggs.

-He said two o'clock.

You know, this happens every year.

I mean, I don't understand why they don't order more.

Well, don't worry, cos, you know, we provide the pancakes.

And it's all you can eat afterwards.

Oh, lovely. Can I bring the children?

Yes, of course. Course.

Denise, shall I put you down?

You know, something ain't right.

That man is never late.

TV PLAYS

Hey.

What have you done to your face?

You should see the other guy.

I didn't see a lorry, I came off my bike.

A lorry?!

Yeah, Kathy gave me the afternoon off. Where's Mum?

She's...she's sleeping. I'm going to get something for your face.

She won't rest later if she's sleeping now...

Will you just enjoy the peace and quiet?

-How long...?

-Tina, put your feet up for five minutes.

Why don't you take a couple of apples,

and we'll round the whole thing up to five bucks?

-Smooth, isn't he?

-Very.

Get him to teach Bex how to talk.

She's gone quiet, the last week.

That's just teenage girls for you, isn't it?

I tried talking to her, she just clams up.

Stacey didn't have any luck either.

You worry about her too much.

These exams are important, though, aren't they?

You want me to try?

Cos I've done my SATs, and I know what it's like.

If she's not going to tell her dad, she's hardly going to tell you.

No, no, no, that's a good idea, that, yeah.

Someone closer to her age.

Yeah, no, I appreciate that, thanks.

She probably just needs a bit of space.

If you want me to spend a bit of time with her...

Yeah. A bit, yeah? No, lovely idea.

Mick, you can't leave that there.

Where am I supposed to leave it?

Do you want that Agnes to know that you've got builders in

-and the pub's still open?

-No.

-No.

So take it round the back and then take it to the tip tomorrow, yeah?

-Well, do it now.

-Yeah, all right. All right.

Now, pancake race in the Square this afternoon?

-Oh?

-I was thinking, what about you two, bit of sibling rivalry?

Do you fancy it?

Well, she doesn't stand a chance, for one, against "Legs" here.

Oh, you're on.

Great. That's £10 each then, please.

-Well, pay the woman, then.

-Oh, I see how that is. Yeah.

-Lucked out here, ain't I?

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Bosh.

SNORING

Her clock says it's early morning.

Maybe it needs new batteries.

She's probably waking up thinking it's the middle of the night,

-no wonder she's still sleeping.

-Look, I've got to go to work.

Has she put a blanket up over the curtains?

Will you stop worrying?

-If she had to stand on a chair...

-I'm going to be late.

How long does it take to make a phone call?

He seemed to be able to pick up the phone yesterday.

Yeah, well, maybe something turned up...

You see, no, this is typical rubbish management, you see,

what they do, they put the frighteners on people, and then...

-Ms Fox.

-I... I was erm...

I'm genuinely sorry to have kept you.

I...

I'll see you later.

Is there somewhere quiet we could go?

Yeah, yeah.

MICROPHONE FEEDBACK WHISTLES

Hey, see my trainers, yeah? See the trainers. Yeah.

-Serious.

-Yeah.

-Practising my technique.

Better put a pancake in the pan, first.

-Don't be messing with the Kim today.

-Mm-hm.

Cos Kim is on fire!

THEY LAUGH

You need a smaller pan. Light and flat.

No, you need a bigger lip on there, it's better for flipping.

Since when have you been flipping pancakes?

Here, what's with the daggers?

He stole my sausage.

I did not steal your sausage! I paid for the sausage.

Shoplifter.

-Oh!

-Sausage!

Shoplifter!

PHONE BEEPS

Robbing sausages now.

Right, so, the rules. Yeah.

It's not life or death.

It's a pancake race.

LAUGHTER

Lovely. All lovely. Super.

So that's it?

Just a courtesy call.

We like to check up on our staff members' wellbeing.

-Yeah, course you do.

-Ms Fox...

So no-one's read the Gazette this week?

Certain articles may have come to our attention, but...

-Ah, I knew it!

-Your sister...

Ain't got the bottle to tell me to my face, have you?

Hm?

Little courtesy visit - courtesy!

Then I get the letter, with what you really think

and all your legal mumbo jumbo. I ain't stupid...

What do you mean, my sister?

I had an interesting discussion with your sister earlier.

Hold on, what you doing talking to my sister?

-You ain't got no right!

-Maybe you should tell her that,

the next time she invites herself into my car.

-You can't go chatting to people...

-She told me all about the adoption

and your ex-husband - all your ex-husbands...

Oh, you just can't help it, can you?

You have to stick your little snout in.

I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt...

Oh, so, give you a good story, did it?

So you can go and tell all your mates down at the golf club?

You want to do it your way? Fine. We'll do it your way.

-Yeah. Here we go.

-You are suspended from your duties

whilst we carry out a full investigation...

You can't suspend me!

-..into an act of physical violence...

-I wasn't even...

..and published comments of a derogatory nature

about your place of employment...

So, what, I can't have an opinion now?

..contrary to the non-disparagement clause in your signed contract.

The permanent contract that you were so keen on.

A clause which, ironically,

you won't find in the zero-hours contract.

So, how am I supposed to survive without pay?

Oh, close family like yours?

Shouldn't imagine that'll be a problem.

Good day.

MICK: 'So it's like basketball rules.

'No more than a step and a half before you toss that pancake.

'First two from each heat make it through to the final.'

-Watch and learn.

-Sausage thief.

-'What you've got to do

'is have a weave up through the cones,

'right up the end, whip yourself round,

'have a weave up back, double lively.

-'While you weave...'

-Your dad thinks I should spend time with you.

Why? Because "I'm here"?

'Got to be in the pan when you cross the line.

'Don't be leaving it halfway up the road, I'm telling you that now.

'When I smash these two together,

'you're going to right have it on your Bromley-by-Bows.'

LAUGHTER

'On your marks...'

-Ian, give me your phone and I'll film it.

-Battery's dead.

'Get set...'

Mummy to win, yeah?

No, Daddy. Daddy pays the bills. Daddy!

HE BANGS GONG

THEY SHOUT AND CHEER

Hey, Kim, you're supposed to be tossing.

It's so fast, you can't see it!

-Mum! Mum!

-I want a selfie.

-What?

-She wants a selfie.

Hang on a minute. Quickly, then, come on.

-Ready. One, two, three!

-'Flip those pancakes.'

Did you get in, Janet? Did you get in?

Leave her alone.

Ain't your business no more.

Or you want me to tell Martin why you don't want me near his daughter?

What on earth do you think you were doing?

I was trying to help you, innit!

Yeah, but I've been suspended.

Well, put your feet up.

First place, there, first place.

He cheated! I want a replay!

Kim, it's the first two.

I knew that. Yeah!

She's like a completely different person!

Do you know, I've had it up to here with that head office.

I don't know how Yolande sticks it.

Well, maybe you could contact her.

Oh, what's the point?

I'm just a shop girl.

We're ten a penny, aren't we?

Literally, at their wages.

HE SIGHS

Is, um...

Is this to do with the baby?

I'll, um...

I'll get you a rum.

'Konrad's looking strong in the lead.'

-Now, if you held a pan more often, Martin...

-Oh, yeah, funny, Kath.

-'It's a Fowler grudge match.'

-Oh, brilliant.

'Come on, Michelle, show him how it's done. Come on, girl.'

-It won't toss!

-You got the wrong pan!

-Oh!

-Smooth(!)

'He's dropped his pancake. Kush, pick it up, live-o.'

-'His mum's overtaken him.'

-Go on, Michelle!

Come on.

'Konrad in first place.'

You were miles behind!

I'm sorry. I think the lady gets it.

Haven't you got a plane home to catch?

You know that video?

Yeah, I put it up online.

But I went to some cafe, so no-one can trace it.

You didn't?

WOLF-WHISTLING PLAYS

Oh, wow. Look.

THEY LAUGH

No. No! Oh!

-No!

-Who's done that?

WOLF-WHISTLING KEEPS PLAYING

THEY LAUGH

Right, I'm just going to get going.

All right, love.

'Flip those pancakes.'

Bex, where are you going? It's not over.

Look, I had to tell Michelle something

so she wouldn't tell your dad.

If you knew how I really feel about you...

Well, I know how everyone at school feels about me.

Ignore it.

You're better than all of them.

'There's your finalists from heat three.'

Thank you.

PHONE RINGS

'Starters on your blocks, please,

'for the final of Walford's greatest.'

Trace, can you hold the fort a minute? I've been summoned.

Yeah, OK.

-Ready... Easy, girls...

-Come on, Ian!

-Come on, darling.

-Come on!

-'Steady...'

-No-one cheering for you?

-Sausage thief!

Come on, Ian!

THEY SHOUT AND CHEER

Two to go, two to go!

You all right, mate?

Yes, yes, yes!

You're just dehydrated, yeah?

Is he all right?

He's dehydrated.

You're dehydrated, Ian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

WOOHOO!

Woo, yeah!

CHEERING STOPS

Who's the mummy? Who's the daddy?

SILENCE

-Johnny, could you get him some water?

-Yeah.

Please give him some space, all right?

You are dehydrated, Ian, you just need some water.

I'm all right.

Feeding her brandy?!

It's just the one.

Yeah? Changing the clock? Putting a blanket on the curtains?

She's driving me mad!

Yeah, and I get it all night because she's been sleeping all day!

I'm so tired, I rode into a lorry today!

How long?

How long has it been going on?

Maybe since New Year.

She's our mum!

I can't cope. Is that what you want me to say?

I want you to say sorry!

I thought I could do this, but I can't.

It never ends, Tina.

Day after day after day...

Why didn't you say?

Because you're so good at it.

I'm not.

You know what to say, what to do.

No, I don't. I'm making it all up.

No-one tells you what to do with a mum who...

who can't remember your name half the time.

Sonia said this would happen.

Yeah, well, Sonia said a lot of things.

That we wouldn't be able to manage.

No, we are managing.

But I'm feeding her brandy and you nearly go kill yourself!

I'm just having a bad day.

-Are we having breakfast?

-Yeah, in a minute!

Stan said he'd leave some kippers.

-Stan's dead!

-Shirley!

I like a nice kipper.

Just - sit down, all right?

# Kipper in the morning. #

Sit down.

SHE SIGHS

I think we should think again about putting her into a home.

She has a home.

People that can give her what she needs.

She's our responsibility!

-No, she isn't.

-She's our mum!

Yeah.

And right now, she needs more.

If you can't deal with this...

It ain't about me.

Are we having breakfast?

She belongs here, with us.

So you had better step up.

There you go, all you can eat pancakes.

When they're gone, they're gone.

You little mug, come on!

Get upstairs.

Keep your eye on the goal, Pearl.

Kim, the man collapsed!

Always keep your eye on the goal.

Did you see her?

She couldn't even stay and watch me win.

Couldn't cheer on her sister.

She could lose her job.

Is that my fault?

-No, it isn't, Vincent.

-No, yeah, all right, but what I'm...

I spent a day trying really hard

to make sure that she could keep that job.

-A day, yeah?

-A day.

Look, not training, like I should have been,

but swallowing my pride and persuading the people in power

that there might be some kind of exterminating circumstances

why she mouthed off. And do I get a thanks?

-It's extenuating.

-No.

I get interrupted in an event that is very important to me.

-A pancake race?

-In front of my nearest and dearest.

You need to go talk to her.

Does Usain Bolt, does he get that?

No. Does Mo Farah get that? No.

Does the ginger one who does the long jump, does he get that?

No. But I get that.

You...need...to go talk...to her.

-I...WILL.

-Good.

I know I am.

I just don't want my bubbles to go flat.

Thank you.

It's just water.

You...you could have won that race.

I mean, you should have won that race.

Some things in life are more important.

If...if I did forget to pay for that sausage, then...

I'm sorry.

Look, I think we should get to A&E.

Mum, I just went dizzy.

Jane, what are you doing?

I'm ringing the surgery.

Make you an appointment to get those results.

If... If it was serious...

Find out what's really going on.

-There you go.

-Cheers, darling.

-Thank you.

See? I told you we can do this.

I've got some ideas for drinks promotions.

Every penny, yeah?

Oh, and Johnny's going to do his quiz night thing on the regular.

-Yeah, every week.

-Oh, yeah?

Come here, you. You're beautiful.

I've got a customer!

You ain't going to prison.

Thank you.

Customer.

Oh, yes.