06/06/2017 EastEnders

Yeah. Very good.

Who's just inside there? Auntie Dee!

Hi there, Dee!

-Hey!

-Yeah.

I tidied this lot yesterday!

And what can I say? She's expressing herself.

Yes, well, maybe next time...

She's very creative. Like her mother.

Yes, maybe she can express herself a little less, you know,

-all over the floor.

-OK.

So, are you going to tell him? Hm?

I'm talking to you, Mrs Doubtfire. Kush? You're going to tell him.

"Going to". That's two words.

And, yes, I am.

SHE CHUCKLES

You still sick, then?

I'll pop to the chemist.

You need to see a doctor, Lauren.

I've got a big day. Loads to do since yesterday.

OK, so go to a walk-in clinic.

I can't miss anything else, Steven.

Lauren, please... I just want what's best for you.

So, did he? Come round? Travis?

After drama? He said he would...

-Oh, my God, he did, didn't he?

-You didn't do it, did you?

-He didn't come round.

-He stood you up?

No - I cancelled.

Thought I heard trouble.

Hello, Mrs Mitchell.

Tell Travis that invite still stands, OK?

You know, that party business...

-That was so awful!

-Mm. I'll see you later.

-Bye, Mrs Mitchell.

-Bye.

You all right?

Last night. After - I left a message for Tim.

He wants to talk.

This evening.

Grandma? I've got that stuff to make the cake for the party.

Liz has - she's just popped to the -

There we go, mate. Lovely. Thank you very much. Cheers, mate.

All that change - don't forget that.

Cheers, mate. Have a good day. See ya later.

Hi.

Hi. Hey.

How are you? You...good?

Yeah, yeah. I'm good. I'm good. You?

Good. Yeah, I'm sorry - I'm her... I'm her nanny now.

-We've just been for a walk.

-Oh, lovely.

Yeah, well, I have.

Pearl just, you know, she waves to the crowds.

-Like her mum.

-Yeah. Princess.

Yeah.

Uh - so I... Well, I was thinking -

-Well, I should...

-Oh, yeah, course.

You're looking well, Denise.

Thank you. You too.

Ireland?

Sorry?

Dot came round this morning.

-SIGHING:

-Do you want to come in?

No, I don't.

All right, her friends are here, her family are here.

-This is her home!

-Is it?

Cos you're not really her family, Jack, you're Jim's.

You've only known her five minutes.

I just offered her a chance to live with her great-grandson.

You know what? You really are your father's son, ain't ya?

Is she still at yours? Cos I'll just go and have a word.

No, she's gone to the council.

Go and find out what she needs to do about the house.

I never told her to go to the council, all right...

Do you know what, this is all the security she's got.

Jack, d'ya know what? She's my grandma.

All right - and she's made her decision. She's moving to Ireland.

OK. I...I didn't put any...

No, just as it comes. Thanks.

So. Nannying, yeah?

Yeah, yeah. Just for a while, though.

Until I find my feet.

Why didn't you tell me? Everything you've been through, I...

I didn't tell anyone.

I'm your friend.

Should have been being your friend.

Look, I just didn't want everyone talking about me,

saying I brought it on myself.

No-one would've said that.

Quitting my job. Swanning around with me books.

You love those books.

Yeah, probably blown my exam now, ain't I?

So - sit it again.

That's what we do. Pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down.

Saw you on the market.

Talking to Kush.

Yeah, yeah, I was...just passing.

You know he's...been dating again?

Yeah, I heard.

Nothing serious. Yet. But...

Yeah, but like I said. I'm... I was just passing.

-He's moving on, Denise.

-Did I say that he wasn't?

Just...get yourself back on your feet, yeah?

D'ya know what, I've got to go and get Pearl her snack.

Yeah, yeah, course. Thanks for the...coffee.

Thank you for popping in.

Yeah.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Was this a joke?

No. Protein, veg, carbs.

-I did go to catering college.

-Yeah, and if we're cooking,

this helps remind us what you actually need.

Yeah, make sure we're doing our bit.

Oh. You going to do my 10,000 steps for me as well?

No.

-Well, I've got to keep an eye on everyone, haven't I?

-Yeah.

My little boy. He's 20 months - 21 months.

And you think...having another...?

It's not that.

It's not just that.

Is his dad...?

No. He's not around. He's in New Zealand.

It's complicated.

And...is that hard for you?

Erm...

I'm actually with his brother now.

And I know that sounds really bad...

And he's why you're pregnant?

Yeah. I mean, we were using contraception.

We didn't want another kid.

Well, I didn't want another kid.

Not yet.

But your partner...?

I've just got myself a new job. A proper one.

One I'm good at.

You don't have to decide today.

Yeah, I know.

If you want to go ahead, you can see a nurse this morning.

They can probably fit you in for a termination later this week.

Thank you.

But take your time. You're very early-term.

LAUREN COUGHS

Have you spoken with...? Does your partner know you're here?

He doesn't even know I'm pregnant.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Ah! There she is.

PATRICK CHUCKLES

So, should I buy a hat?

Yeah, man. Kim told me all about Kush, you know!

Oh, did she, now?

You haven't asked him, have you?

He's dating.

That ain't serious.

Tell that to Carmel.

Have you two patched things up?

Yeah, but she's his mum, innit? So she probably had higher hopes.

Oh, thank you.

No, no, I mean...

Listen, he's your man.

And you need to go and get him.

He ain't my man.

Well, he was until you broke his heart.

You are really cheering me up, you are.

Look, what have you got to lose, eh?

Apart from my dignity?

Well, let's be honest, you sort of, like,

lost that when you were shacked up with the Beale.

PATRICK CLEARS THROAT

I'm going to go and check on Pearl.

OK, you might lose what's left of your dignity. Yeah, your pride.

A bit of face.

But if you stop at the first hurdle,

you're going to miss out on one big whole hunk of happiness.

That man would be lucky to have a good woman like you, you know.

At least ask him out for a drink, the man.

PHONE RINGS

All right.

Twice in one day.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, you're going to think that I'm stalking you.

No, not that I'm...

No.

It's just Kim - she came home early and I'm sort of just, like...

-finished for the day.

-That's good.

Do you fancy a drink?

HE STUMBLES

Well, no, no, no, I don't mean like a drink drink.

No.

Just like a friends' drink.

As friends.

Friends.

Friends. Yeah. Total, like, friendzone.

Just one.

Just...just a drink?

Yeah. And maybe...maybe not the Albert this time.

We could go to the Vic? About six?

Otherwise, I'll have to keep stalking you.

Not... I'm...

Six is...six is good.

-OK.

-OK.

SHE EXHALES

-AUTOMATED:

-This is a District Line train to Ealing Broadway.

We are now approaching Barking Station.

Barking will be the next stop.

What are the chances?

Nosebleed?

Didn't recognise you.

No, without the...

I've got something for you.

-Me?

-Yeah.

Just in case I... It's a new one.

-I tried to wash yours but...

-You didn't have to.

Ah, one good deed...

Sorry. You reading your messages?

No, I'm just aware of the time.

-Hot date?

-Husband.

They're just upstairs watching cartoons.

Nice.

Oh, are you working Friday?

Er, yeah, why?

Oh, I needed a baby-sitter for a couple of hours.

Erm... Well, I could ask Jane. What's it for?

Well, I-I really shouldn't say anything.

You promise that you won't tell anyone...?

Me and Martin, we're having a scan. I'm pregnant.

MUSIC: You Can Get It If You Really Want by Jimmy Cliff

# You can get it if you really want... #

Is it...too much?

No, man. No such thing.

THEY CHUCKLE

Oh, come on, let me...

There you are.

So good to have my Denise back.

Yeah.

So, you going somewhere nice?

This...wouldn't be that girl you went out with?

Did you want something? I'm kind of...

I saw Denise.

I think, er, we're going to be friends again.

That's good.

Do you think you might be...friends again?

Mum.

I worry about you.

I don't want you getting hurt.

She wants to meet you.

I would have met her yesterday if someone didn't run off.

Yeah, I know, but...Friday.

Come and pick me up before that music thing. Gig.

Yeah, are you sure you want to go?

Yeah. I love music. Gigs. Warehouses.

-Yeah?

-It's cool. Yeah.

Where we going?

Look, I said I wouldn't be late.

Just five minutes.

Listen, I wanted to tell you...

I'll see you tomorrow.

It's only just six.

What if he doesn't ring?

Right. Do you know what you want to say?

-Just a chat'd be nice.

-Like adults.

-No shouting.

-All those years, huh...

-Yeah.

Though he probably just wants to gloat about taking

me to the cleaners.

PHONE RINGS

Oh, hang on.

Hello, Tim.

Oh, this is so exciting! Me and you, both pregnant.

We were being so careful.

I know, but things happen, don't they? Nothing's 100%.

Apart from not doing it. And where's the fun in that?

You still in a bit of shock?

Yeah, I am. I've not long found out.

-I bet Steven's so excited!

-I ain't told him yet.

Oh, he's going to be a great dad.

I mean, he is already with Louie.

It's like Martin with Arthur, you'd think he was his own.

I mean, he is, he is his dad. He always said he didn't mind.

But I just - I dunno - I just wanted something that was

-a little bit both of us.

-I'm not keeping it.

I'm booked in for an abortion.

DOOR CLOSES

Sorry. I was...

Drink?

Yep.

I had a termination - I regretted it for years.

That was cos of my brother.

Bradley thought we wouldn't be able to cope - but we would have.

Well, we could have.

I don't want another baby.

Not here, not right now.

Not with Steven?

I love my job.

For the first time,

I feel like I'm actually doing something with my life.

I don't want to be just a mum.

Like me?

No! Not at all. You and Martin -

you've been together longer. You're married.

Well, you and Steven could get married.

No. I'm not ready for that either.

If you really don't...want this baby...

It's not a baby.

I know how hard it is.

And I'll come with you, if you want someone.

But don't keep it from Steven.

Just talk to him and do what's right for both of you.

Secrets always come out in the end. You know that better than anyone.

This one?

For a sponge?

Leave it out. She'll probably want to pop it in her suitcase.

It was just a suggestion.

She's gone to find out how to give up her house!

Liz, she's my grandma.

Who you walked out on. This was never the plan.

Look. She's old. And she's lonely.

-Half the world is old and lonely.

-Do you want me to line these?

Do what you want. You didn't even ask me.

It just came out.

This is our chance. You and me.

-To have a family.

-I know.

All the trying. All the disappointment.

Months and months of IVF, every penny of our savings gone.

And now this...

This is our time.

I know, I just...

We'll have enough on our plates.

You didn't see her face.

Our little house. Finally, our little family.

She loves him, Liz.

And I love you.

And if you loved me...

Don't, don't say that.

I want to do this right.

She's not coming.

Cheers.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

Nice one. Do you want me to...?

No, no, no. It's OK, robbed a bank earlier.

THEY CHUCKLE

No, Kim - she paid me. For the nannying.

Which is just until I get back onto my...feet.

-So have you...?

-Do you...? Sorry.

No, you first.

No, no, go on. You go, you go first.

THEY CHUCKLE

OK. So - how's business?

-Yeah it's all right - steady.

-Yeah.

Just, you know, could be worse, I s'pose.

Yeah. Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me?

What, that I was scrabbling around in bins for food?

And I-I went to a food bank.

Oh...

Look, Patrick was away. Not that I'd live off someone's pension.

And I wasn't about to ask Kim.

And me?

This is my mess.

Yeah, I would've helped you.

And that is exactly why I didn't ask you.

I don't want you feeling sorry for me.

I didn't want to end up being, you know, that woman that needed help.

OK, look...

When something good comes along...I push it away.

I think, well, you know,

it's going to end up going anyway, so...

And you and me. It was good.

It shouldn't have worked, but it did.

We-we said friendzone, didn't we?

Yeah, yeah, but...but I hurt you. And I'm sorry.

OK, I'm...I'm really, really sorry.

I know.

And I wish I could turn back time.

If I was able to do that, I'd be able to dodge

a whole lot of things I wish had never happened in my life.

You and me both.

I've spent too much of my life with, you know,

bad men to let a good one slip away.

And you are a good man, Kush.

No, I'm serious.

That's...what Shabnam said, when she finished it.

She said, "You're a good man. And I can't be with you."

Yeah...

But you and Shabnam - you know, what you went through...

Please, I...

No, but me and her, we're different.

You are gorgeous and you're thoughtful...

..and fit!

And you're sensitive.

And fit!

And these things, they don't come easily to me and when I do say

'em it just sounds ridiculous and I...

All those books that I've read, and it just comes down to one thing.

All those words...

I love you.

I love you, Kush Kazemi.

-WHISPERS:

-And I want you back.

Have a lovely day. Table for one?

I'm not hungry.

Babe, you've got to eat, haven't you? How are you feeling?

Yeah, better.

Did you see a doctor?

Yeah. Yeah, it was...it was just a thing.

And the rest of the day? You been at the office?

Yeah, you know. Just working.

Just thought you might have popped out for a bit of air at some point.

You know. Stuffy working in an office, innit?

Steven, listen...

Louie with Jane?

Er, yeah...

Thought you guys might have been home, you know,

before I had to come here, but...

I know, sorry, sorry, I...

You and Louie - you're everything to me.

Listen...

And I love you. You know that, right?

Yeah, yeah, I know.

You too.

Be two seconds.

Dee, Dee...

-You don't have to say anything.

-You haven't given me a chance.

-I'm embarrassed enough, all right.

-I love you too!

You're not the only one with stuff.

Past relationships.

I know.

I get it, OK? Your reasons for not telling people.

I get it. Cos you're stubborn.

And you're headstrong.

Pig-headed?

You're proud.

And all of that - all that is why I fell in love with you.

There's me thinking it was me looks.

Yeah, it was that too.

I get why you didn't tell everyone.

But I don't get why you didn't tell me.

All those...those lies.

And all the excuses and then everything you said.

I was stupid...

If you think it would change what I thought about you,

-you don't know me.

-I'm sorry.

Well, you thought I was just going to walk away?

I dunno, I dunno, I guess...

Scared.

Scared's OK. Scared's OK. That's what relationships are for.

All right. Knowing that whatever

happens, all right, however scared you are...

there's someone there, there's someone there holding ya.

But not the ones, you know, I've had.

I mean, everything we've been through. All the doubt.

Your baby. My mum.

Yeah, well, you know, we...we don't do things easy.

And then things get tough for you -

they get really, really, really tough.

And the first thing you do is you push me away.

-I'm sorry.

-It's what Shabnam did.

And she dealt with it all on her own.

It was like I was...I wasn't...

I couldn't be trusted to deal with the big stuff.

She loved you.

Yeah, and I loved her and it took me...

..a long time...

..to trust someone else.

And to risk love again.

I lied to her for months...

about Stacey. And I kept telling myself - I kept

saying, "It's not lies, no, it's just not telling."

And I told myself, I said, well, it's not like...it's not like I

was doing anything wrong, right?

But it was cos it was secrets.

It was bad - it was bad secrets.

And they... They...they poison a relationship.

SHE SOBS

When the trust is gone, it has GONE.

And love is not enough.

And you can...you can keep on hoping, OK, but...

Oh, I love you.

And I can't do this. I can't do this.

-No, please!

-I can't go back. I can't go back.

OK?

I'm sorry.

-It's over.

-I'm sorry!

-It's over!

SHE SOBS