The Wrath of Baron Samdi Father Brown

SURF BREAKS, BIRDS CALL

PERCUSSION MUSIC

Papa Legba!

ALL SING AND CHANT

THUNDER RUMBLES

ALL ULULATE

SINGING

Papa Legba!

SINGING

SHE GASPS

MUSIC STOPS

Papa Legba...

-ouvre baye pou mwen, ago eh!

-METAL SCRAPES

Baron Samdi,

I offer you food and rum.

I offer you incense.

I call on you to grace us with your presence.

THUNDER CRASHES

Papa Legba!

ALL SING

THUNDER RUMBLES

SHE GURGLES

DISTORTED GROWLS

MUSIC CONTINUES

SHE YELLS

Ayibobo!

SHE GRUNTS

THUNDER RUMBLES

DISTORTED VOICE: She has forsaken you. Let her go.

-I can't.

-You are weak.

She has been beguiled.

SHE CACKLES

By an Englishman?

Yes.

What do you want from me?

Your blessing...

SHE GRUNTS

..for what I'm about to do.

I want that Englishman gone.

Death?

No.

Something worse.

THUNDER CRASHES

COW MOOS NEARBY

Maybe we can do a gig here.

Morning!

Yeah, I'm sure this lot love a bit of jazz...

FAINT DRUMMING

You all right?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

-Come on, then.

I love the English. So open-hearted(!)

-It's why I came here.

-I'm having words.

-DOOR SLAMS

URGENT KNOCKING Welcome to Kembleford.

I'm not sure your welcome is shared by everyone, you know, Father.

I can only apologise.

-Does your apology come with a place to stay?

-Our car broke down.

Because this clod didn't check the engine properly, did you, son?

Don't be so hard on the boy.

-Where are you heading?

-Birmingham. We've got a gig tomorrow.

Well, I suppose we could find room for you in the presbytery.

As long as some of you don't mind sleeping on the floor...

For us, that's The Ritz, Father.

There is one condition.

DOUBLE BASS INTRO

# All of me

# Why not take all of me?

# Can't you see

# I'm no good without you?

# Take my lips

# I want to lose them

-# Take my arms, I'll never use... #

-MUSIC STUMBLES AND STOPS

What on earth is going on?

-You have got to be joking!

-It's only for one night.

Where are they going to sleep?

Um, the settee, the floor!

-They're complete strangers.

-All the more reason for making them welcome.

Make yourself at home.

Mrs McCarthy will find blankets,

and I think that I've got some spare dressing gowns somewhere

because it can get quite chilly in here at night.

-Sid's on the phone to the garage about your car.

-Grand.

I heard him tutting a lot, I wouldn't hold out much hope.

So if there's anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable?

That's very kind of you, isn't it, love?

How did you two meet?

KNOCK AT DOOR

We were touring Haiti a couple of months ago. Port-au-Prince.

When I heard Yveline sing, I knew we had to have her.

-EMMANUEL:

-I wonder if I could speak to Miss Lafond.

-< Who?

-I believe she's here.

-Um...

What are you doing here?

I wanted to see with my own eyes what this cochon has over you.

Who's this?

How could you?

-How could you just go?

-I...

No goodbye? Not to your family...

Your friends... Me?

What can I say?

I swept her off her feet.

-Now, who the hell are you?

-You must come with me.

-No.

-We belong together.

-Hang on a minute, sunshine.

DON'T...touch me!

Let's just calm down, shall we?

I don't know what it was you think you had with Yveline,

but it's over.

She's mine now.

In fact...

-..we're getting married.

-What?

When did this happen?

Is this true?

Emmanuel...

please,

let me go.

Baron Samdi will judge you.

I take it that man was your ex-boyfriend?

Yes.

He was also my houngan.

-"Houngan"?

-Voodoo priest.

Voodoo?!

There is a saying, in Haiti the population is 80% Catholic,

20% Protestant, and 100% Voodoo.

-Why didn't you tell me about him?

-I didn't think it was important.

It was important enough for him

to have chased you halfway round the world.

Do you still do the voodoo?

I haven't given up on my faith...

..Catholic or voodoo.

I don't see how anyone can belong to two religions at the same time.

Voodoo's a syncretic religion - it combines belief systems.

Tommy's become quite the aficionado since Yveline joined the band.

I've got a book on it if you want.

-No, thank you.

-Yes, please!

Right, I've just got off the phone to the garage.

It's bad news, I'm afraid. Your carburettor's shot.

So, you'll not get that back for at least a couple of days.

-There goes our gig.

-And we're out of pocket.

I wonder if there's anything we can do to help.

No offence...

I don't think jazz is appropriate for church.

-All that...swaying of hips.

-I've an idea.

I've a chum who's opening a luxury hotel.

He's already booked a pianist, but I'm sure I can persuade him

to take on a few more instrumentalists.

"Luxury hotel"? I think we could manage that.

Have you got a telephone? I'll tell them we can't make it.

In the study.

Well, I think you're all missing the point -

what about that mad voodoo priest?

Sorry, voodoo? Have I missed something?

-Do you think Emmanuel means to do you harm?

-No.

Who is Baron Samdi?

He's a Lwa.

A spirit.

What sort of spirit?

The spirit of the dead.

Apologies again.

Just one of those things, I'm afraid.

I didn't say "yes".

You said you'd think about it.

That's not the same as a "yes"!

What else you going to do?

Go back to Haiti?

We'll be happy.

We can settle down.

-Have kids. Don't you want that?

-FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

What happens to the band?

When you get married?

-All good things come to an end.

-Not this!

This is too important.

Get over it, Lloydy.

It's more than music!

It's what we stand for!

Overcoming barriers.

-What, you want to destroy that, over some saviour kick?

-What?

Everything all right?

-I'm going to look for your priest.

-What?

-And what do you intend to do when you find him?

-I'll improvise, Vicar.

-I insist on mediating.

-I'm coming, too.

-No, you're not.

I will not be treated like the "little woman".

This involves me, too.

BIRDSONG

FIRE CRACKLES

Where are you?

Maybe he went to take a leak.

BIRDS FLUTTER CLOSE BY

Show yourself!

Come on, show yourself, you little cochon!

I think that was a squirrel.

And in any case, you stand a better chance

of reaching a peaceful resolution if you just calm down.

I'm not going to calm down while some maniac's stalking my fiance.

He's not a maniac.

He's a man with a broken heart,

and he deserves some understanding.

Just wait till tomorrow. That's all I'm asking.

I'll drive you back after the gig at the hotel.

FIRE FIZZES

CLATTERING

Should you really be letting her do that in here?

Do what?

-The voodoo?!

-It's fascinating.

Their creator God is called Bondye.

What Yveline's doing is called "illuminasyon".

The Immaculate Heart of Mary

has a corresponding Lwa...

Well, if you find it all so fascinating, why don't you convert?

If you don't mind, may I have another slice of your sweet pie?

-Yes, of course, dear. That's what it's there for.

-Thank you.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

She has just offered my Bakewell tart to a voodoo spirit!

SHE SIGHS

Lwa Erzulie Balianne helps people forget their past loves.

I'm going to ask her to watch over Emmanuel.

Heal his pain.

It's the only way he will have peace.

The only way we will be free of him.

"Je vous salue, Marie,

"pleine de grace.

"Le Seigneur est avec vous.

"Vous etes benie entre toutes les femmes,

"et Jesus, le fruit de vos entrailles, est beni..."

Amen.

GLASS SMASHES

WIND HOWLS

Father?

What's going on?

SHE GASPS

Glass is all on the inside.

Looks like someone broke the window, reached in, unlocked the door,

-and dumped the chicken.

-Well done, Sherlock(!)

Why don't you get out there and start looking for this nutcase

instead of standing around stating the bleeding obvious?

Sir, until I ask you a question,

I must kindly ask you to shut your mouth! Thank you very much.

-Anyone see anything?

-No.

I saw someone.

Running away, through the window.

Description?

It was too dark.

That's not very helpful, is it(?)

And this bloke, he's a...a what?

A houngan.

A voodoo priest.

I knew I shouldn't have stayed in bed this morning!

So, this is...some sort of...

-..voodoo sacrifice?

-No.

Animal sacrifices only take place during ceremonies.

This...was a warning.

SERGEANT SIGHS

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Sir! Sir...

Be careful, sir.

Careful?

The way he was looking at me.

I think he was doing something...voodoo.

"Something voodoo"?

Your sergeant scares easily.

You'll be glad to hear I don't.

-Where were you last night, around 1:20am?

-Asleep in my tent.

Farmer adjacent to the field you're staying

-reported one of his chickens stolen last night.

-That's unfortunate.

Isn't it?

Where'd you get your car?

I paid for it when I arrived in London.

Didn't know voodoo priests could afford cars.

We are all ignorant of some things, Inspector.

You got proof?

Of your ignorance?

Of the car.

You know what's strange?

I've owned the car for only two days now,

and yet, you are the third officer to ask to prove ownership.

I wonder why that is.

SLAMS TABLE

I am not a thief.

We could play this game if you want.

I ask you questions, you tell me lies. We go round in circles.

But I can't be bothered with all that,

so I'll tell you what's going to happen.

You're going to get into your car,

and you're going to drive out of Kembleford,

and never come back.

Understand?

DOOR SLAMS

JAZZ INTRO PLAYS

# All of me

# Why not take all of me?

# Can't you see

# I'm no good without you?

# Take my lips

# I want to lose them.

# Take my arms... #

Poor turn-out!

# ..I'll never use them... #

At least that means there's plenty of booze.

It's a dress rehearsal.

The guests will arrive later, so please try to restrain yourself.

What must it cost to stay in a place like this?

-Upwards of £20 a night.

-£20 a night!

One has to pay for the finer things in life.

Easy enough, I suppose, when you're born with a silver spoon.

Let's just listen to the...

# ..Take the rest... #

..music.

# ..Baby, take all of me. #

SONG ENDS

No, he scarpered.

Hm.

-< JOSEPH:

-When I get my hands on him!

< GLASS SMASHES

Just cos you're stronger than him, doesn't mean he won't beat you.

-Is that right?

-He's a voodoo priest.

You don't know what he's capable of.

Of course, cos you're the voodoo expert(!)

Tell you what, if he casts a spell, I'll come and get you.

-You can wave your little wand(!)

-I'm coming with you.

I DON'T need any more mediation, Father.

Hey! Cochon!

Where are you?!

BIRDS CAW

FAINT DRUMMING

FAINT ULULATING SINGING

RUMBLING

The gardens are divine, don't you think?

Edmund brought in a Parisian designer specially.

Oh, indeed.

My box hedges have been compared favourably to those at Versailles.

SHE SHRIEKS

MURMURING

BIRDS CAW

Police surgeon thinks he drowned.

He wouldn't drown in a swimming pool.

Maybe that priest used his voodoo magic!

froze his legs and arms,

-and then just pushed him in.

-Is that possible?

Sergeant, here's a tip.

Make a note.

When asking questions, try to make them sensible!

Father, where are you going?

To research your theory.

"Poison derived from the puffer fish...

"Potent neurotoxin sometimes used

"to punish those who violate social..."

CREAKING NEARBY

How did you get in here?

Magic.

I picked the lock.

I'm quite handy at that.

Perhaps we're kindred spirits.

You were right.

I am heartbroken.

I'm sorry you're so unhappy.

The last two months, all I could think of was getting her back.

Every waking moment.

By killing Joseph?

HE SCOFFS

My plan was not to kill him.

Then what?

Enslave him.

"Enslave him"?

I followed them from London...

..waiting for an opportunity to give him this.

In large doses, it kills.

In small doses, it can make a man appear dead.

But there is a spot.

A sweet spot.

Not too much. Not too little.

But just right.

The man is neither dead nor alive.

He can't speak. He has no feeling.

He walks without thought.

Good for nothing more than ploughing the fields.

And presumably, he can't love, either.

Exactly.

How can a man love

without a soul?

Zombification.

Your word,

not ours.

What happened at the hotel?

When I saw her on stage...

She looked so...

..free.

I couldn't go through with it.

I couldn't remove that smile from her face.

-DOOR OPENS

-Father, I...

No need to worry.

-Are you all right, Father?

-Absolutely.

-How did you...?

-Oh, Mr Mugridge gave me a lift.

Yes, thank you...

Good old Mr Mugridge.

-In all likelihood, she will call the police.

-What for?

I haven't done anything.

You don't know about Joseph, do you?

He's dead.

What?

Possibly poisoned.

-It wasn't me.

-Then you should tell that to the police.

You think they'll believe me?

Father, I'm not going to hang for something I didn't do.

Emmanuel, please, this will just make things worse.

-BELLS RING

-That's him.

BELLS RING

TYRES SCREECH

BIRDSONG

I bet you didn't think you'd be chasing a voodoo priest

around the countryside when you came to Kembleford, sir.

Didn't have many of them in Durham, no.

Come on!

ENGINE REVS

TYRES SCREECH

He's going to hit the tree!

EXPLOSION

He's hit the tree.

FIRE CRACKLES

HE GROANS

Stay still.

-You'll kill yourself.

-I'll call for an ambulance.

HE GROANS

I didn't do it.

That'll be for the court to decide...

HE WHIMPERS

'He died at the scene.'

Oh, my God!

This was in his pocket.

We haven't tested it yet, but we suspect it's some kind of poison.

Must've paralysed him.

So, my theory was right.

One thing we can't understand is how he gave it to him.

There were no puncture marks on Mr Sinclair's body.

That's assuming that it took effect immediately.

If it was slow-acting, he could've ingested it before...

I don't need your help, Padre, thank you.

Anyone see him eat or drink anything at the hotel?

We were on stage as soon as we got there.

Weren't even offered a biscuit!

Which means he probably ingested the poison while he was on stage.

The break-in!

That's what he came here to do!

Dead chicken was just a diversion.

This is what he was really up to. We'll need to take this.

Well, that's a relief that's all over.

-TEARFULLY:

-Excuse me...

Inspector, I spoke to Emmanuel.

He told me he didn't do it.

Told me the same thing. Funny - killers often say things like that.

I believe he was telling the truth.

He loved Yveline.

Yes. Enough to kill her boyfriend.

-Enough to let her go.

-You're a soft touch, Padre.

At least consider the possibility!

This case is closed! Stick your oar out.

You all right?

I'm sorry about your father.

Don't worry about me.

You are so sweet.

-SHE GASPS

-Tommy... No.

What are you doing?

If you're still looking for clues...

That means you think the voodoo priest was innocent?

-His name was Emmanuel.

-Oh...

If he broke in last night, then why did he pick the lock today?

Why not come in the same way?

I can't believe I didn't see it before.

-Didn't see what exactly?

-None of us did.

We were too preoccupied with the notion

that Emmanuel was the intruder.

Father!

DOG BARKS OUTSIDE

Oh!

Mind you don't cut yourself.

Unless the intruder had extendable arms...

..he didn't unlock the door from the outside.

Must've unlocked it from the inside.

Are you telling me that one of the people living in your house

is a homicidal poisoner?

It would appear so.

I warned you! Didn't I warn you?

Strangers!

-I take it you won't be asking them to stay another night.

-HE SIGHS

But their car won't be fixed until tomorrow.

And I stand a better chance of working out who did it

if I keep them close.

And a better chance of getting yourself killed!

-I'll be...

-I'm staying tonight.

-That won't...

-I'm staying tonight.

And where will you sleep?

The question isn't where will I sleep.

The question is where will you sleep.

LOUD SNORING

SHE GROANS

Snore, snore, snore!

LOUD SNORING

CREAKING

-FOOTSTEPS

-Did you hear that?!

HE SNORTS

It's a good thing one of us was awake.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.

Quite all right.

Herbal tea.

Good for insomnia.

So, you and the old lady?

Most certainly not!

And who are you calling "old"?

Mrs McCarthy, why don't you wait in the bedroom?

I'm not leaving you alone with that.

I'll be all right.

Um...

Please.

You said you saw someone running away the night of the break-in?

-That's right.

-Thing is, I have evidence

that the break-in was staged.

-You accusing me of being a liar, Father?

-Distorting the truth.

-You think I'm a murderer, too?

-I don't know.

I'm not.

Then why lie about seeing an intruder?

HE SIGHS

Because you're protecting whoever did it.

-You saw the killer put the poison on the saxophone, didn't you?

-No.

But you saw something.

I saw them running back into the lounge after breaking the window.

I didn't know what was going on.

If I'd known they'd put poison on the saxophone,

I would have said something.

-Who was it?

-What have you to gain?

A man is dead.

Two men!

And now, you want to send someone else to the executioner?

-Whoever did this could easily do it again.

-I doubt it.

-Why?

-Because...

it was personal.

Let it lie, Father.

Looking for me?

I just wanted to say...

Ow!

That's sharp!

Um, how sorry I am about your father.

Thank you, Father.

-Goodnight.

-Goodnight.

Not while there's a poisoner in the house.

And look how much you've drunk already.

-But I made it myself!

-I don't care.

And I hope you rinsed your toothbrush before you used it.

We can't afford to take any chances.

Where are you going now?

We have a gig coming up in Soho.

So, the band's staying together?

-We're not sure yet.

-What do you mean?

-You're not leaving.

-I don't know.

What you going to do instead? Clean toilets?

That's all you'll get in this country.

Morning all, good news! Car's ready, wahey!

Bad news is, you have to pick it up.

I'll drive you down whenever you're ready.

-Thank you so much, Father.

-You've been a godsend.

Tommy, before you go,

can I have a word...

in the garden?

Of course.

You wanted to say something, Father?

I'm so sorry.

For what?

For the way your father treated you. He was a bully.

All your life, I imagine.

It's his voice in your head

when you don't feel you're good enough. Not worthy.

So, you brought me out here to what? Psychoanalyse me?

And then, there's Yveline.

You're in love with her.

It must've hurt you deeply when your father announced their engagement.

You think I killed him.

Well we both saw the shard of glass on your arm.

That could've come from anywhere.

It came from when you used your elbow to break the kitchen window.

You took the poison from Emmanuel's tent, didn't you?

When we went looking for him.

'Afterwards, you stole the chicken, killed it...'

And then, when everyone was asleep,

you put poison on your father's saxophone...

'..then staged the break-in,'

left the dead chicken to make it look as if it was Emmanuel.

GLASS SMASHES

HE PANTS

HE GROANS

It wasn't even a plan when I took the phial.

But I knew what it was.

And I knew I wanted to be free.

I knew she wanted to be free, too.

She never loved him.

He would've made just as lousy a husband as he did a father.

And for that, he deserved to die?

You just said what a terrible father he was.

That doesn't mean I condone what you did,

or that you shouldn't seek forgiveness.

The first step to that is telling the police the truth.

I'm not going to do that.

And you're not going to tell on me either.

You won't be able to.

Not after the poison I gave you.

WIND WHISTLES

BIRDS CAW

Oh.

-I made my own tea.

-It wasn't in the tea.

It was on your toothbrush.

Mrs McCarthy was right.

Never expected those to be my last words.

HE CHUCKLES

FAINT DRUMMING

Father Brown's collapsed!

Father?!

Father! Father?

Father...Father...?

He's dead.

No!

-Father!

-No!

It can't be!

Father!

No-one leaves.

-I want a postmortem straightaway.

-Yes, sir.

Toxicology report. Everything.

I'm so sorry.

There's something I need to show you!

-Well, I'll be...!

-He told you, didn't he?

He told you Emmanuel wasn't the killer.

But would you listen?! No!

And now he's dead.

And it's your fault. It's YOUR fault.

-Now, look, I know you're upset...

-She's not wrong, though, is she?

-You are nothing but a Keystone Cop.

-Now, look here!

A useless, incompetent, lazy...

-You watch it.

-Why? What are you going to do? You going to arrest me?

Sidney, stop it. This isn't helping.

THEY SIGH

His blood is on your hands.

His blood is on the hands of whoever killed him.

And I promise you all, I'm going to find out who that was.

And make sure they hang.

You're all suspects in the murders of Joseph Sinclair and Father Brown.

My sergeant's going to search you and your belongings,

and whichever one of you did it,

I'm personally going to see that you hang.

-How could you? How could you? A priest!

-What's this?

-Tommy?

-I don't know what he's talking about.

-I saw him that night!

-He staged the break-in.

-I love you!

YVELINE GASPS

HE GRUNTS

-Let me at him! I'll kill him!

-Tommy Sinclair,

I'm arresting you for the murders of Joseph...

-Wait! He's not dead.

-Who?

-Father Brown.

I just gave him enough to knock him out for a few hours

while I could get away. It wasn't enough to kill him.

Well, you did kill him, didn't you?

You don't understand. It only slows his heart.

It doesn't stop it. He's not dead.

Call the police station! Get them to tell the surgeon!

CHANTING

TELEPHONE RINGS

TELEPHONE RINGS

BELLS RING

TELEPHONE RINGS

TYRES SCREECH

DOORS SLAM

SURGEON YELLS

Oh! Are you with me, Padre?

Tell me you're all right. How many fingers am I holding up?

Sir Winston Churchill.

Even half-dead you're a pain in the neck!

HE SNORES

Now don't get used to this.

Just because we all thought you were dead

doesn't mean you get to stuff your face every day.

Noted.

-How are you feeling?

-Glad to be alive.

-So say we all.

It would've been frightfully dull without you.

Not to mention half my handyman work comes from you, Father,

so where would that have left me?

Well, it's nice to know I would've been missed!

Look who found on the way here.

-I didn't mean to interrupt your party.

-Not at all.

This is for you.

Ohh...

Haitian sweet potato pudding cake.

And I wanted you to have this.

Lwa Gran Bwa.

Syncretised with Saint Christopher.

He will help your healing.

And how are you?

Lloyd and me have joined a new band.

I'm still singing.

I'm happy.

I'll get a knife to cut this.

-I think we all know what to do with that.

-It was a gift.

No more voodoo for you.

Padre!

These are for you...

From the staff, like. Not just from me.

But, you know...from me, too.

Inspector Mallory, not feeling guilty, are we?

You should be.

-Quite.

-Hear, hear.

Look. I'm sorry for what happened.

But whatever I did or didn't do wrong -

and I'm not saying I did anything wrong...

..in the end, I did save your bacon.

And you wouldn't be here enjoying tea with the padre

if it weren't for me. So, you know, swings and roundabouts.

That is the worst apology I've ever heard.

Besides, think what it's going to do for your church numbers.

You're the priest that came back from the dead!

That is a rumour we don't want spreading.

Noted.