The Other Woman Feud: Bette and Joan


The Other Woman

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This programme contains strong language

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-If I weren't in this chair...

-Oh, Miss Crawford, I'm so excited!

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I'm going to be playing your neighbour right next door.

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So close.

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Can I please have your autograph?

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It's for my grandmother. She's loved you since she was a kid.

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Thanks.

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Sometimes you need to hit it square in the jaw.

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DRINK CAN FALLS

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You know, Bob, I was thinking.

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We need to pack the bags of the girl next door.

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She's moving out.

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Wh... Oh, Joan, I-I don't have time to recast.

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-We're shooting tomorrow.

-I have co-star approval.

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She's not a co-star.

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That's right.

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And she never will be.

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KNOCK ON DOOR

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What?

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You wanted to see me?

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Yeah. Forget the little daily gifts, Lucille.

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I'm going to be much too busy working

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to shop for anything in return.

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Whatever you say. Only let's not fight.

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We have to support each other, Bette.

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I'm worried our director isn't taking care of us,

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so we have to take care of each other.

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What the hell does that mean?

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You're the one that hired the goddamn director.

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I'm going to be blunt, Bette.

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Aldrich is a lady-killer.

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He likes young blondes.

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The cookie that's playing the neighbour.

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I saw her. She's no threat.

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Well, not now, of course -

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but what happens when he starts sleeping with her?

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Suddenly she has more lines and scenes than you do.

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Now, I've asked him to replace her with someone less showy,

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less likely to pull focus,

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but he refused.

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Course, you have more scenes with her than I do, so...

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perhaps I'm being out of line.

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You know, Bette,

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I just wanted to say...

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I think what you're doing with this part

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is incredibly brave.

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DOOR CLOSES

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Bette?

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Bette, where are you going?

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Your big scene's up next.

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I'm going home sick, Bob.

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You don't look sick.

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I am. I'm sick to my stomach because of you.

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I thought you wanted to work with Crawford and me

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because you respected us.

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Because you wanted our opinions - but clearly, you don't,

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and that just makes me want to vomit.

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What are you talking about?

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Crawford wants that woman that's playing the neighbour gone,

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and I have to agree. You're casting with the wrong head, Bob.

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She's not an actress,

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she's not going to elevate the material.

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I mean, look at her.

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Her audition was wonderful.

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I want her gone.

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-I won't do it.

-Then I'm going home sick.

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I forgot my purse.

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Goddamn it!

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I think I'm all right. Is that a mirror? Thank you.

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-You're in my light, honey.

-Oh.

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Did you see that... What was it? Coming Home?

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-Mm-hm, yeah.

-Some kind of Vietnam War thing.

-Oh, God.

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Talk to me about the origins of the feud.

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Hell, those two?

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They didn't actually need a reason to hate each other.

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It was chemical.

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But things didn't start to boil over until the '40s...

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when they were in their 40s.

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Bette's star was rising at Warner's,

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and over at MGM, Joan's was starting to dim.

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Cut!

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I'm sorry.

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Can someone ask an executive

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to come down to the stage, please?

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I'm so confused.

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We... We're on our honeymoon.

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We're recruited by the British Secret Service

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to stop the Nazis. Right?

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Does this make sense to anyone?

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Can someone explain it to me?

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Now that Garbo and Shearer had packed it in,

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Joan wanted roles with dignity.

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She'd had it up to here

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with the slatterns and shop girl roles

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that had made her a star.

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She fought tooth and nail for the role of Marie Curie.

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Listen, Louis.

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Either I play that egghead dame,

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or I walk.

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Then I suggest you start walking.

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# Somebody else

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# Has taken my place... #

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Two weeks later, Joan signed with Warner's.

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Thank you, Daddy.

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Oh, come on, Joan.

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Let's cut the "Daddy" shit, all right?

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Might have worked for that fat fuck over at MGM,

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but you're working for me now.

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Chin-chin.

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Warner picked up the former MGM glamour girl

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at close-out, everything-must-go bargain-basement rates...

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..and he still thought he was paying too much.

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Cancel my appointments for the rest of the afternoon.

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Warner brought Crawford in for one reason -

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to use as a cudgel against his problem child, Bette Davis.

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Bette was the undisputed queen of the lot...

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playing one Oscar-nominated role after another.

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She was difficult...expensive...

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..and far too powerful -

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especially for a woman.

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Joan was Jack's message to Bette -

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you're not the only bitch in the kennel.

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And Joan wasn't too proud to take Bette's scraps.

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You've never spoken of your people.

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Who you came from.

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Maybe that's why Father...

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Wasn't long before she found her comeback role.

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A role that Bette never would have passed on

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had she realised it was Oscar-worthy material.

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PHONE RINGS

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What?

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-MAN:

-Sir, Bette Davis is here.

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She's demanding to see you.

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Shit.

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I know what you're doing, Jack,

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giving Crawford all my roles to control me,

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make me insecure.

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You said you were offended that I offered it to you.

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I didn't want to play the mother of a teenager.

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All right, well, then, there's a lesson in all this,

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isn't there, chickie?

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Next time, you got to fucking trust Big Daddy.

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But aren't you even just a little excited

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about that pip of a script I sent you?

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Where I play a neglected wife in a black fright wig

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who tries to abort her child by throwing herself down a hill

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and then dies?

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Fine. Don't do it.

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Crawford loves it.

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If you'll excuse me,

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-I'm late for my lunch now.

-Let me guess, Lana Turner?

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Nope.

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-Judy Garland?

-Nope.

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Ava Gardner?

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Joan Crawford.

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Poor Bette.

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While Joan now got the best parts for women of a certain age,

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it was Bette who had to play the shop girls and the slatterns...

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What a dump.

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..and it was Jack Warner who, through it all,

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made millions off both of them -

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and probably always would.

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Ain't that just the way?

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Oh, there's my star.

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I hate the breakfast scene.

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-I love that scene.

-Too much exposition.

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No, she's rubbing Blanche's nose in it.

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She stole her limelight. You got to use that underneath.

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I don't need subtext, Bob, I need good text.

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Bette, it's today's work, it's a good scene,

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-and Joan likes it.

-I never said that.

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I agree with Bette.

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The writing doesn't begin to capture

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how women get under each other's skin.

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The intent is there,

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but the execution is lacklustre.

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You work on that, Bob.

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See what you can do.

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We'll anxiously be awaiting a rewrite.

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How do you like that? "Anxiously" awaiting!

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THEY CHUCKLE

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Isn't that a pretty picture?

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They're finally getting along.

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Yeah, and to think only last week they were wishing each other dead.

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THEY LAUGH

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Bette is just amazing.

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Oh, she's going to win all the awards this year.

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Hedda.

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Are you two gals really getting along together?

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Come on, you can tell Hedda.

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Hedda, we told you before,

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we're getting on like a house on fire.

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I haven't seen this much shit since my last bowel movement.

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What year was that?

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1932.

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You know, the good thing about scotch, Bob,

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is it only gets better when it ages.

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Broads...

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they just get sour.

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So I hear that these two bitches are

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really busting your balls, huh, Bobby?

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Aw, typical stuff, you know.

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Bette's always fighting me for another close-up,

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Joan's always fighting me to take it out.

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But they're burning up the screen, Jack.

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You should have paired them years ago.

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No, thanks. Two world wars were enough.

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But there's something I want to talk to you about, Bobby.

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The front office tells me that you're behind schedule,

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and I don't like that.

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Well, j-just by one day. We just started.

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-I'll make it up.

-OK.

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And also, I'm not going to release the picture

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the way I said I would.

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I'm going to open it bigger.

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The way no-one's ever done before.

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A wide release. 400 screens.

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Ha-ha!

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Did I get you? I got you!

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-Oh, you got me.

-I got you.

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400? Are you crazy? What... why?

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Why? Cos you're right.

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They're burning up the screen together.

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Bobby, their scenes are fucking electric.

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They are fucking electric!

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And let's face it, after Psycho,

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horror's the future, and we got it.

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OK, now here's what we got to do.

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There's got to be buzz.

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Yeah, yeah, we can keep the publicity machine going.

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-I'll give your PR people full access to the set.

-No, no, no -

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there's got to be more than that, bubbie.

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You got to keep 'em at each other's throats.

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You have to.

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I'll make sure their names are in the papers - that's not a problem -

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but if you do this,

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you'll be able to write your own ticket in this town.

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L'chaim, bubbeleh.

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Well done, Bobby. Come on!

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Let's go see what they're doing.

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It's not just about morale,

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it's also about respect... I've lost both.

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Ever since I fired that tomato who was playing the neighbour girl,

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the whole crew knows that I was pushed into it.

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The whole crew knows Crawford and Davis

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are running the show... they double-teamed me.

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I'm telling you, Harriet, Jack Palance and Lee Marvin

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would have never pulled this shit.

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Yeah, they don't have to. They're men.

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Yeah, well, that makes them half as cunning

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and nowhere near as ruthless.

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I'd think you'd be happy that both your stars are getting along.

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Yeah, they're not getting along.

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They're just teaming up. It's like the Hitler/Stalin pact.

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You know, maybe Warner's got the right idea.

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He wants to leak some dirt to the gossip columns, you know,

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-get a little catfight going.

-Bob, that's terrible.

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Well, it could get a lot of pre-release publicity that way.

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Anyway, pitting them against each other

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might be just the way to control them.

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Bob, don't you dare. It's too cruel.

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They need to feel secure and supported.

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But not by each other. I can support 'em both.

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Well, don't fool yourself.

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Even you're not man enough to satisfy two women.

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What the hell is that supposed to mean?

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Why don't you ask your little strudel, Gretchen?

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Harriet, where are you getting this from?

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Gossip on a set is poison, Bob,

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and spreads fast.

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It's a small town,

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and everybody finds out everything.

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Even your wife.

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Well, it's bullshit.

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Maybe, but it hurts just the same...

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..and you should consider that

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before you start spreading gossip of your own.

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Hi, Bill.

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Oh, Roger, hi.

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Nancy, you look beautiful.

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Barbara, how are you?

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Hello, Bob.

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And let me just say again

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what a thrill it is for me to be directing

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these two legends of the screen.

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Mm. Really, Bob?

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-That's it?

-That's it.

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I'll leave it up to you to spruce up the adjectives.

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Oh, I think you've got me confused

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with Adela Rogers St Johns.

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I came here for red meat, not pabulum.

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No-one wants to read about how those two battle-axes

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make nice with each other.

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Well, what can I tell you, Hedda?

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They're both consummate professionals.

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You know who you remind me of?

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NOT John Ford.

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Now, there's a man who commands not only a movie set,

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but his own press.

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He knows how to play the game.

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Which is why he's as vital now

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as he was before talkies.

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Where are you, Bob? Three bombs.

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You want to go back to directing television?

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This picture could make you relevant again.

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I have too much dignity to get into the gutter with you, Hedda.

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Well, I hope...

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..dignity pays your gas bill.

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All right, wait, wait.

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I might have something, but you didn't hear it from me.

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Blind item, my specialty.

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Well, it...

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This is about...Crawford's tits.

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-Oh, I'm all ears.

-Well, that's just it.

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Crawford's all tits.

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Davis has been complaining that they're too perky.

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Perky?

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Fake.

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-She wears falsies?

-Yeah.

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You know, Davis is a real artist.

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She says she can't play to them...

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..and she says she's scared of falling onto them

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in the beach scene because she thinks she'll chip a tooth.

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-Hah!

-Says those things are hard as rocks.

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Oh, that's great.

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Yeah.

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"Chip a tooth."

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Yeah, that's great.

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TYRES SCREECH

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Miss Crawford...

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Miss Crawford, do you have any response

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to the comments made by Miss Davis in Hopper's column?

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Oh, I certainly do,

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but nothing I'd let my children read

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in a family newspaper.

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BUZZING

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All right, Blanche Hudson,

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Miss Big Fat Movie Star!

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Miss Rotten Stinking Actress!

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-Bob, I have to talk to you.

-What?

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-Cut!

-I'm in the middle of a fucking take!

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-What is it?

-Have you seen Hedda's column this morning?

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-Oh, for Christ's sake!

-OK, take a break, everybody.

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No, I haven't. Why, does she mention us?

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Us? Oh, no, no.

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Not us. Me? Yes.

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Would you like me to read it to you?

0:17:470:17:49

"The woman is crazy.

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"I always suspected she had a false front,

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"and now I know for sure.

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"And they're 34 double Ds."

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Are you going to let her get away with this?

0:17:590:18:01

Get away with what? I said no such thing.

0:18:010:18:03

Joan, I'm sure Bette's comments

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were taken out of context.

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Who gives a shit, Lucille? Everybody knows you pad your bra.

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You've been doing it for years.

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Bob, will you please tell Miss Davis

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that I will sue her

0:18:150:18:17

if she continues to make comments

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that are injurious

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to my ability to earn a living?

0:18:210:18:23

Ha! Earn a living?

0:18:230:18:25

Every time you belch, Pepsi gives you ten grand.

0:18:250:18:27

How dare you mention Pepsi!

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Unlike you, it's good and pure.

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It's pure, all right. Pure vodka!

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Betty, Joan, come on, ladies, please. Let's just...

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She's jealous of me.

0:18:410:18:42

She has always been so jealous of me.

0:18:420:18:46

Joanie, who wouldn't be? Look at you.

0:18:460:18:48

You're beautiful, talented.

0:18:480:18:50

You're a legend.

0:18:500:18:51

And I understand that you're upset.

0:18:510:18:53

But put all that passion, all that anger

0:18:530:18:55

into your performance.

0:18:550:18:56

Forget about her. Forget her.

0:18:560:18:59

Listen to me.

0:18:590:19:00

I am the only opinion that matters.

0:19:000:19:03

Oh!

0:19:070:19:09

I'll make you proud of me,

0:19:120:19:14

I promise.

0:19:140:19:16

Years later, when I heard what was going on,

0:19:370:19:40

I was furious.

0:19:400:19:42

I mean, at the time, we didn't know

0:19:420:19:44

that these two great screen legends, friends of ours,

0:19:440:19:48

were being manipulated so cruelly by the men around them.

0:19:480:19:51

Well, not that we could've done anything about it.

0:19:510:19:53

You know how much power women had back then?

0:19:530:19:56

Exactly as much as we've got now - zippo.

0:19:560:19:59

Well, you have to remember,

0:19:590:20:00

this was before the modern women's lib movement.

0:20:000:20:03

Which I admire very much, by the way.

0:20:030:20:05

Me, too.

0:20:050:20:06

But imagine a studio today

0:20:060:20:08

trying to pit Miss Jane Fonda against Miss Dyan Cannon.

0:20:080:20:11

I mean, the girls would revolt.

0:20:110:20:14

Oh, horseshit.

0:20:140:20:15

Nothing's changed.

0:20:150:20:17

No matter how liberated,

0:20:170:20:18

women'll do what they always do when they're cornered -

0:20:180:20:21

eat their own and pick their teeth with the bones.

0:20:210:20:25

Louella, darling.

0:20:360:20:38

Joan here.

0:20:380:20:40

Listen, I'm calling about the article Hedda wrote today.

0:20:400:20:44

I have a rebuttal.

0:20:440:20:46

No, but for you.

0:20:460:20:48

Are you writing it down?

0:20:500:20:52

Good.

0:20:520:20:54

Miss Davis looks old enough to be my mother.

0:20:540:20:57

One look at her face and you'd think

0:20:570:20:59

she hasn't had a happy day, or night, in her life.

0:20:590:21:04

Yes, you can quote me.

0:21:070:21:09

I'm counting on it.

0:21:090:21:10

TYRES SCREECH

0:21:130:21:14

Miss Davis, care to comment on the fact

0:21:160:21:17

that Miss Crawford says you look old enough to be her mother?

0:21:170:21:20

-What's your name, sweetheart?

-Sylvia.

0:21:200:21:22

Fuck off, Sylvia.

0:21:220:21:23

FLASHBULB POPS

0:21:230:21:25

Oh! Come on.

0:21:250:21:26

Go to my room and read a goddamn book.

0:21:280:21:31

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:21:370:21:39

Come in.

0:21:390:21:41

Let's have a little talk.

0:21:410:21:43

I'd love that.

0:21:430:21:45

Although I know you prefer chewing the fat

0:21:450:21:46

with gossip columnists.

0:21:460:21:47

I don't know what you're talking about.

0:21:470:21:49

Louella Parsons, today.

0:21:490:21:50

You're quoted on the record, Lucille.

0:21:500:21:53

Oh, yes. That.

0:21:530:21:54

Let me just cut through the movie star bullshit

0:21:540:21:57

you cling to when the waters get too deep for you to stay afloat

0:21:570:22:01

and explain something to you.

0:22:010:22:02

I can't wait to hear.

0:22:020:22:04

You seem to have forgotten that the unflattering make-up

0:22:040:22:06

I'm wearing in this picture is a choice

0:22:060:22:08

designed to create a character.

0:22:080:22:10

I'm not interested in vanity, I'm not interested in gossip.

0:22:100:22:12

I'm interested in the work.

0:22:120:22:13

That's what I want to do,

0:22:130:22:15

so I suggest you stop fitting in calls to Parsons

0:22:150:22:17

between your morning coffee

0:22:170:22:19

and taking a shit of butterflies and moonbeams

0:22:190:22:21

and whatever else comes flying out of your ass.

0:22:210:22:24

If you don't, it's your funeral.

0:22:240:22:27

Are you threatening me?

0:22:290:22:31

You'll kill me?

0:22:310:22:33

Worse. I'm going to steal this picture right out

0:22:330:22:35

from under your nose and you know I can do it.

0:22:350:22:38

I am doing it.

0:22:380:22:39

-Says who?

-The crew, the director.

0:22:390:22:41

Everybody.

0:22:410:22:42

Mr Aldrich says he loves my performance.

0:22:440:22:48

Interesting.

0:22:490:22:51

After all those years, I'm still in this chair.

0:22:550:22:59

Doesn't that give you some kind of responsibility?

0:22:590:23:02

Jane, I'm just trying to explain how things really are.

0:23:020:23:05

This is fantastic footage, Bob.

0:23:050:23:07

It's fantastic.

0:23:070:23:09

I-I mean, you can literally feel the hate

0:23:090:23:11

steaming off the screen. It's... It...

0:23:110:23:13

Are you sure it's not the acting you're responding to?

0:23:130:23:15

Uh, Hank, turn the sound down.

0:23:150:23:16

What, are you kidding me? There's so much ham up there

0:23:160:23:19

I'm going to have to go to my rabbi this afternoon and atone.

0:23:190:23:21

No! I'm talking about what's underneath

0:23:210:23:23

all that scene chewing.

0:23:230:23:24

Pure, naked rancour.

0:23:240:23:27

I love it. I want more.

0:23:270:23:28

-More?

-Yeah.

0:23:280:23:30

Come here, come here.

0:23:310:23:33

You've got to make each one think

0:23:330:23:35

-that you like the other one more.

-Oh, Jesus, Jack.

0:23:350:23:37

The atmosphere on set's frosty enough as it is.

0:23:370:23:40

You sure you want me to stir that pot?

0:23:400:23:41

What are you, red all of a sudden?

0:23:420:23:44

You got something against capitalism? Huh?

0:23:440:23:47

Look, Bob, come here, look.

0:23:470:23:49

What we're looking at right there

0:23:490:23:51

is a raw display of the free market.

0:23:510:23:53

That's vigorous competition.

0:23:530:23:55

That's the American way.

0:23:550:23:57

The more that they despise each other,

0:23:570:23:59

the more that each one tries to crush the other one,

0:23:590:24:03

the better they get!

0:24:030:24:05

But they're already good.

0:24:050:24:06

No, they're great. Great - but they can be greater still.

0:24:060:24:10

Do you think that Wellington was such a hot general?

0:24:100:24:14

He wasn't. He was a piker,

0:24:140:24:16

until he had to go up against Napoleon.

0:24:160:24:18

And why?

0:24:180:24:19

Because he hated Napoleon's guts.

0:24:190:24:22

He hated him.

0:24:220:24:24

It was his hatred that made him great.

0:24:240:24:26

Jack, that was war.

0:24:260:24:28

So is this.

0:24:280:24:30

Turn it up!

0:24:300:24:31

You wouldn't do all these awful things to me

0:24:310:24:34

if I weren't still in this chair.

0:24:340:24:36

Ha! Look at that, look at that!

0:24:370:24:39

But you are, Blanche.

0:24:390:24:40

You are in that chair.

0:24:400:24:42

-Cut.

-Fantastic.

0:24:420:24:44

Fantastic, Bob.

0:24:440:24:45

-Bob, sorry I'm late.

-Two hours late, Bette.

0:24:560:24:58

You asked me to be here at noon and on a Saturday.

0:24:580:25:01

It's unforgivable, I know. I overslept.

0:25:010:25:03

I... I was in a panic last night, I had a drink.

0:25:030:25:06

I...

0:25:060:25:07

This week has been murder for me.

0:25:130:25:15

Yeah, it's been tough on everybody.

0:25:150:25:16

I have no idea

0:25:160:25:18

if what I'm doing is working at all.

0:25:180:25:20

Is it a brave choice,

0:25:200:25:22

or is it just in reaction to her?

0:25:220:25:24

She infuriates me,

0:25:240:25:26

I just want to smother her with my performance.

0:25:260:25:28

And Jane wants to smother Blanche. It's perfect.

0:25:280:25:30

Is it?

0:25:300:25:32

I don't want to end up a joke, Bob.

0:25:320:25:34

I feel I need to get control,

0:25:340:25:35

and I don't know if I can do that

0:25:350:25:37

when I'm seeing red all the time.

0:25:370:25:39

Maybe I should invite her to dinner.

0:25:390:25:41

No. No.

0:25:410:25:42

No, no, no.

0:25:420:25:43

You know, there's such a thing as alchemy, Bette.

0:25:430:25:45

You don't mess with alchemy.

0:25:450:25:47

My advice, you just keep doing what you're doing.

0:25:470:25:51

Muscle out the next few weeks.

0:25:510:25:54

Stay in your own lane -

0:25:540:25:55

because that road is going to get you to your next Oscar.

0:25:550:25:58

Trust me.

0:26:000:26:01

I do trust you.

0:26:050:26:06

You won't let me look ridiculous.

0:26:120:26:15

Of course not.

0:26:150:26:16

All right, let's look at the scene.

0:26:190:26:21

I've Written A Letter To Daddy,

0:26:230:26:25

frankly, scares the shit out of me.

0:26:250:26:26

I'm not a singer, never was.

0:26:260:26:28

Oh, come on, Bette, you sang with the USO.

0:26:280:26:30

That's why I want you to perform the number live, on the set.

0:26:300:26:33

You just said you wouldn't let me look ridiculous.

0:26:330:26:36

And I won't, but it's all about the pathos, Bette. The loss.

0:26:360:26:40

Jane just wants to be that adored

0:26:400:26:41

eight-year-old girl again.

0:26:410:26:43

It's her selling the number, not you.

0:26:430:26:45

Come on.

0:26:450:26:46

Why don't we give it a whirl, huh?

0:26:460:26:49

Come on.

0:26:490:26:51

# I've written a letter to Daddy... #

0:26:570:27:01

-No, you don't need that. You know the words.

-Ugh...

0:27:010:27:03

You need your hands,

0:27:030:27:04

Jane is open.

0:27:040:27:06

Big, theatrical gestures.

0:27:060:27:07

Remember, she's vaudeville.

0:27:070:27:09

# I've...

0:27:100:27:11

# I've written a letter to Daddy

0:27:150:27:19

# His address

0:27:190:27:21

# Is heaven above

0:27:210:27:25

# I've written "Dear Daddy, we miss you"

0:27:250:27:29

# And wish you were here with us to love

0:27:290:27:33

# Instead of a stamp I put kisses

0:27:330:27:36

# The postman says that's best to do

0:27:370:27:42

# I'm writing a letter to Daddy

0:27:420:27:45

# Saying

0:27:450:27:47

# "I love you." #

0:27:470:27:51

You got plans for dinner?

0:27:570:27:58

I feel like I owe you something

0:27:580:28:00

for having you cool your heels all morning.

0:28:000:28:02

I promised Harriet I'd take her to Perino's.

0:28:020:28:04

Bring her.

0:28:040:28:06

I want you to take all the costumes

0:28:130:28:15

and just lay them out in the dressing room

0:28:150:28:17

and that way, I can go through them and determine which...

0:28:170:28:19

I said, OK, how about...

0:28:190:28:21

The crew is abuzz.

0:28:330:28:36

About my performance?

0:28:360:28:38

About their relationship.

0:28:380:28:40

Apparently, they've been working

0:28:400:28:42

on her scenes all weekend long.

0:28:420:28:44

So, you like the tie?

0:28:540:28:55

Mm. I do.

0:28:550:28:56

PHONE RINGS

0:28:590:29:00

Hello?

0:29:070:29:09

Hmm?

0:29:140:29:16

It's Joan Crawford.

0:29:160:29:18

Joan?

0:29:210:29:23

It's fucking midnight.

0:29:230:29:25

Bob, he left me.

0:29:250:29:26

-Who?

-Peter.

0:29:260:29:28

Oh, we had a terrible row.

0:29:280:29:30

He said this picture meant more to me than he did and he left.

0:29:300:29:33

He was drunk.

0:29:330:29:34

Oh, God.

0:29:340:29:36

I have to quit the picture, Bob. I can't continue.

0:29:360:29:38

A-All right, uh, j-just, just give me a few.

0:29:380:29:40

I'll put, I'll throw some clothes on. I'll be right over.

0:29:400:29:42

-You promise?

-Yeah, yeah, I promise.

0:29:420:29:44

OK.

0:29:440:29:45

DOORBELL RINGS

0:30:040:30:05

KNOCK ON THE DOOR

0:30:270:30:28

Who is it? Who's there?

0:30:300:30:31

Who the hell do you think it is, Joan? It's Bob, you called me here.

0:30:310:30:34

Oh, Bob. No, I thought for a moment

0:30:340:30:37

maybe Peter had come home.

0:30:370:30:40

Yeah, I'm sorry about Peter, Joan.

0:30:400:30:41

You know what I'm sorry about?

0:30:410:30:43

I'm sorry I gave up a wonderful relationship with a man

0:30:430:30:48

who truly cherished me, a doctor no less,

0:30:480:30:51

for you and this picture.

0:30:510:30:53

Really, it's just too much.

0:30:530:30:55

What are you talking about?

0:30:550:30:56

You know goddamn well what I'm talking about.

0:30:560:30:59

You and Davis, cavorting behind my back.

0:30:590:31:03

-Oh, you're being ridiculous.

-Am I?

0:31:030:31:05

Weekend rehearsals, my ass.

0:31:050:31:08

How long have you been sleeping with her?

0:31:100:31:12

I'm not sleeping with her.

0:31:120:31:13

I won't be made a fool of.

0:31:130:31:15

I'm out - but don't worry,

0:31:150:31:17

I won't stand in your way.

0:31:170:31:19

I'm sure Warner will let you recast.

0:31:190:31:22

We're not recasting, Joan. Jesus.

0:31:220:31:24

This picture's only happening because of you.

0:31:240:31:27

Well, I'm glad you remember that.

0:31:270:31:30

What else do you remember, Bob?

0:31:300:31:33

-Joan.

-Hmm?

0:31:330:31:35

Bob, do you remember

0:31:350:31:38

our private rehearsals on Autumn Leaves?

0:31:380:31:41

Come on.

0:31:410:31:43

Rehearse with me now, Bob.

0:31:430:31:45

Take me through a love scene.

0:31:470:31:49

There is no love scene in the picture.

0:31:490:31:51

Then I want a rewrite.

0:31:510:31:53

Oh, goddamn it, Joan. Will you knock it off?

0:31:530:31:56

You think I don't know what this is?

0:31:560:31:57

What, you think you're going to get me into bed,

0:31:570:32:00

I'm just going to hand the picture to you?

0:32:000:32:02

That's exactly what happened on Autumn Leaves.

0:32:020:32:04

You saw me having coffee with Cliff Robertson,

0:32:040:32:06

-next thing I know, your hand's down my pants.

-Screw you.

0:32:060:32:08

No, not this time, Joan.

0:32:080:32:09

Listen to me.

0:32:090:32:11

I'm trying to hold on to my marriage, for Christ's sakes.

0:32:110:32:13

Good, well...

0:32:130:32:15

THUD

0:32:150:32:16

Peter?

0:32:180:32:20

What are you doing here?

0:32:200:32:21

I thought you were in Palm Springs.

0:32:210:32:24

Yeah, the road got washed out.

0:32:240:32:26

I'll see you on the set, Joan.

0:32:260:32:27

You want to explain that?

0:32:330:32:35

Explain? To you?

0:32:350:32:38

I don't have to explain a goddamn thing to you.

0:32:400:32:44

You're the one who left me this weekend,

0:32:440:32:47

leaving me here all alone.

0:32:470:32:49

I think it's time to recast.

0:32:490:32:52

Recast?

0:32:520:32:53

Recast you.

0:32:530:32:55

Your lines are stale.

0:32:550:32:58

You delivery's predictable.

0:32:580:32:59

I'm going downstairs.

0:32:590:33:01

When I come back, I want you gone.

0:33:010:33:04

It's a relief!

0:33:150:33:17

Where is she?

0:33:290:33:30

What the hell is this?

0:33:360:33:37

I'm sorry, Miss Joan. She's small, but she's quick.

0:33:370:33:39

Why, that looks like an exclusive.

0:33:410:33:43

In The Examiner, in Louella's column.

0:33:430:33:45

You deliberately called up that incontinent cow just to scoop me.

0:33:450:33:50

Thank you, Sven. That'll be all for now.

0:33:500:33:53

No, Sven's staying put.

0:33:530:33:55

I want this young man to bear witness.

0:33:550:33:57

He should know whose carcass it is he's been handling,

0:33:570:33:59

and just how many others in this town

0:33:590:34:02

could identify it in the dark.

0:34:020:34:03

That column has already been written.

0:34:030:34:05

"Joan Crawford's Early, Tawdry Years" -

0:34:050:34:08

and it's been locked away in my desk drawer since 1946,

0:34:080:34:11

the last time you went to Louella behind my back.

0:34:110:34:14

Oh, I told you, then, Hedda, I didn't go to Louella

0:34:140:34:17

about my divorce from Philip.

0:34:170:34:20

No, she came to me.

0:34:200:34:21

And you confirmed it - and after I gave you your career back.

0:34:210:34:25

Box Office Poison.

0:34:250:34:26

That's what they called her,

0:34:260:34:28

until I started promoting her in my column

0:34:280:34:30

because I felt sorry for her.

0:34:300:34:31

Well, she is right about that.

0:34:310:34:33

When I was down on my luck,

0:34:330:34:34

Hedda is the only person in this Christless town

0:34:340:34:38

to extend a hand in friendship,

0:34:380:34:40

to show some human decency.

0:34:400:34:42

She didn't have to,

0:34:420:34:44

and I have always been truly grateful to her for doing it,

0:34:440:34:48

truly, truly grateful.

0:34:480:34:50

Well, then why would you go to my mortal enemy?

0:34:500:34:52

Because it was the only way

0:34:520:34:54

I could get your attention.

0:34:540:34:57

Thank you, Sven, I'll see you on Friday.

0:34:570:34:59

Hedda, Hedda.

0:34:590:35:02

Yes.

0:35:020:35:03

Let's go down to the pool, soak up some vitamin D.

0:35:050:35:09

WHISPERS: Listen, we have to talk.

0:35:090:35:10

OK.

0:35:100:35:12

Give me a moment to change.

0:35:120:35:13

Oh.

0:35:160:35:18

I'll just say it, Hedda.

0:35:180:35:20

I'm in trouble.

0:35:200:35:22

What kind of trouble?

0:35:220:35:24

No, no, no. This isn't for publication.

0:35:240:35:27

I'm appealing to you as a friend.

0:35:290:35:30

All right. Closed.

0:35:360:35:38

Shoot.

0:35:390:35:41

I'm broke.

0:35:410:35:43

-Up to my eyeballs in debt.

-No.

0:35:440:35:47

No. You practically own Pepsi-Cola.

0:35:470:35:51

Pepsi-Cola owns me.

0:35:510:35:53

Or it owned Al, at any rate,

0:35:530:35:55

and when he died, his debts became mine.

0:35:550:35:57

Two million dollars.

0:36:000:36:01

Hedda, that's what I owe.

0:36:010:36:04

Two million dollars.

0:36:040:36:06

Joan, I had no idea.

0:36:060:36:08

No, nobody does - and-and they mustn't.

0:36:080:36:10

Look, I'm a single mother

0:36:100:36:11

working in Hollywood.

0:36:110:36:13

I've got three children whose schooling is not yet complete.

0:36:130:36:18

Cocktail time.

0:36:180:36:20

Come on, I need a drink.

0:36:220:36:24

All right.

0:36:280:36:30

Look at this, Hedda.

0:36:300:36:32

All of this could be gone in an instant,

0:36:320:36:34

everything I've worked for, my entire life.

0:36:340:36:37

I mean, where, at my age, am I going to find

0:36:370:36:40

another rich man to save me?

0:36:400:36:42

You've never needed a man.

0:36:420:36:44

Neither one of us have.

0:36:440:36:45

And yet we've always been at their mercy.

0:36:450:36:49

-Hmm.

-At least I have.

0:36:490:36:52

You don't know how lucky you are, Hedda,

0:36:520:36:54

that being an actress didn't work out for you,

0:36:540:36:57

that you were never a star.

0:36:570:36:59

I mean, you're the one who has real power in this town.

0:36:590:37:04

Yeah, well, this town, it's in decline.

0:37:040:37:07

It's becoming base and common.

0:37:070:37:09

You know, pretty soon,

0:37:090:37:11

I won't even be able to shock it any more.

0:37:110:37:13

The whole thing's going to blow away,

0:37:130:37:15

and all that'll be left is the desert it's built on.

0:37:150:37:18

Oh, thank you, Mamacita.

0:37:190:37:23

Thank you, darling.

0:37:230:37:24

A few more years.

0:37:240:37:26

That is all I wanted, just a few more years,

0:37:260:37:31

but I've been undermined, sabotaged.

0:37:310:37:34

No, it's just not fair.

0:37:340:37:37

-Davis, she's never been one of us.

-No.

0:37:370:37:40

She's never been a part of this town, not like you have.

0:37:400:37:43

And she doesn't need the work. Woman lives like a Yankee.

0:37:430:37:46

I just don't know what I'm going to do.

0:37:460:37:49

Don't you dare. No tears.

0:37:500:37:53

Hedda is here.

0:37:540:37:55

You want a few more years?

0:37:570:37:59

What about five more?

0:37:590:38:02

-Because that's what another Oscar will give you.

-Oh!

0:38:020:38:04

Yes.

0:38:040:38:05

A down payment on five more years.

0:38:050:38:07

No, no, no, that is impossible.

0:38:070:38:10

That'll never happen.

0:38:100:38:11

Bette has the showier role.

0:38:110:38:13

Well, that's a matter of opinion -

0:38:130:38:15

and my opinion is the only one that matters.

0:38:150:38:19

Cheers.

0:38:250:38:27

-Chin-chin, my darling.

-Mm.

0:38:270:38:29

Well, good morning, Miss Davis, I am such a fan.

0:38:390:38:42

Doughnut?

0:38:420:38:43

No - coffee, black, in my dressing room.

0:38:430:38:45

Oh, I'm not craft service.

0:38:450:38:47

I'm your leading man on this picture.

0:38:470:38:49

Beg your pardon?

0:38:500:38:51

I'm Victor Buono.

0:38:510:38:53

I'll be playing your love interest.

0:38:530:38:55

I was expecting someone...

0:38:570:38:59

Thinner?

0:38:590:39:00

Less...homosexual?

0:39:000:39:03

Mm. Mm!

0:39:050:39:07

Thanks for the great day, fellas.

0:39:320:39:34

-Say goodnight, BD.

-Oh.

0:39:340:39:36

Goodnight, fellas.

0:39:360:39:37

Agh!

0:39:370:39:39

# Itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini

0:39:450:39:48

# That she wore for the first time today... #

0:39:480:39:52

MUSIC GETS LOUDER

0:39:520:39:53

Christ, this song!

0:39:540:39:55

You don't like it

0:39:550:39:57

because you can't wear one any more.

0:39:570:39:59

# ..two, three four Stick around we'll tell you more.. #

0:40:000:40:03

MUSIC STOPS

0:40:030:40:04

Pack your bags, BD.

0:40:080:40:10

Why? Are we going somewhere?

0:40:100:40:12

Not me, you.

0:40:120:40:13

To Maine for the entire summer.

0:40:130:40:15

You can't do that.

0:40:150:40:16

Watch me.

0:40:160:40:18

Christ, tonight I see you posing and laughing in front of the grips

0:40:180:40:21

like a streetwalker.

0:40:210:40:22

You're jealous.

0:40:220:40:23

I'd smack you across the face for that

0:40:230:40:25

if your braces hadn't cost a fortune.

0:40:250:40:27

You're jealous because men don't look at you any more

0:40:270:40:29

and they look at me.

0:40:290:40:30

You can't take it that your turn is over,

0:40:300:40:33

so you're punishing me.

0:40:330:40:35

What a joke!

0:40:350:40:36

For years when I was growing up,

0:40:380:40:39

all I ever heard from you was, "Christ, when is that old buzzard

0:40:390:40:42

"Claudette Colbert going to retire?"

0:40:420:40:43

"When is Norma Shearer going to realise the ship has sailed?"

0:40:430:40:46

I am not going to apologise for having ambition!

0:40:460:40:48

I am not going to apologise for being a working mother

0:40:480:40:51

who has to have opportunities

0:40:510:40:52

so she can put food on the table for her family.

0:40:520:40:55

You know what those women had that you don't, mother?

0:40:550:40:57

Dignity.

0:40:570:40:58

They moved aside with class

0:40:580:40:59

after their spin on the carousel was over,

0:40:590:41:02

and that's something you refuse to do.

0:41:020:41:04

And now look at you.

0:41:040:41:06

You're single, lonely and doing this ridiculous role

0:41:060:41:10

because you can't live without being in the spotlight.

0:41:100:41:13

Well, guess what?

0:41:130:41:15

Nobody wants you any more.

0:41:150:41:16

Nobody's watching you any more.

0:41:160:41:18

You see me out there having fun and being young

0:41:180:41:21

and taking my turn, and you can't take it.

0:41:210:41:24

So, fine.

0:41:240:41:26

I'll go, gladly.

0:41:260:41:28

Anything to get away from you and your sadness.

0:41:280:41:31

PHONE RINGS

0:41:420:41:43

-Hello?

-Is it one of the kids?

0:41:500:41:52

One of yours.

0:41:540:41:56

Bette Davis.

0:41:570:41:58

Oh.

0:41:580:42:00

Bette?

0:42:040:42:06

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:42:190:42:20

Well, here I am, Bette.

0:42:210:42:23

What could you possibly need

0:42:230:42:24

that couldn't wait till tomorrow?

0:42:240:42:26

A friend.

0:42:270:42:29

Oh...

0:42:300:42:32

She'll be back.

0:42:360:42:37

She's a teenager.

0:42:370:42:38

You can't take anything they say to heart.

0:42:380:42:40

You should hear the way my kids talked to me

0:42:400:42:42

when they were teenagers. Hell, they still do.

0:42:420:42:44

But she's right, Bob. That's the trouble.

0:42:440:42:46

My time has passed.

0:42:460:42:47

Oh, that's horseshit, Bette.

0:42:470:42:49

There's a scene in Eve from the back of the car

0:42:490:42:51

when Margo's talking about the long climb up

0:42:510:42:53

and all the things you drop along the way

0:42:530:42:55

that you forget you're going to need later.

0:42:550:42:57

I just turned 40 when we did that scene

0:42:570:42:59

and I remember thinking,

0:42:590:43:01

"Thank Christ that will never be me."

0:43:010:43:03

But it is.

0:43:060:43:08

That's exactly what happened.

0:43:080:43:10

All my failed marriages, my own daughter hates me.

0:43:110:43:14

And for what?

0:43:140:43:15

For the work.

0:43:150:43:17

Mm.

0:43:170:43:18

The goddamn work.

0:43:180:43:20

My one true love,

0:43:200:43:22

and now that's going to leave me.

0:43:220:43:24

You're a star, Bette.

0:43:240:43:26

Just as much of a star now as you were ten years ago.

0:43:260:43:29

20 years ago.

0:43:290:43:30

A star whose leading man is a chubby homosexual.

0:43:300:43:34

Ah, now we get to it.

0:43:340:43:36

Is this what it's come to?

0:43:390:43:41

What do you mean, "Is this what it's come to?"

0:43:410:43:44

Bette, he's a brilliant artist.

0:43:440:43:46

You say Crawford's no actor, well Victor Buono is.

0:43:460:43:49

He comes from Broadway, for Christ's sakes.

0:43:490:43:53

I am not going to fire him.

0:43:530:43:54

I don't want you to fire him.

0:43:540:43:57

I don't want you to fire him. I don't know what I want.

0:43:570:44:00

Bette, listen.

0:44:050:44:06

I understand everything you said.

0:44:080:44:10

You've had a brilliant career.

0:44:100:44:13

Me, I'm still on the B-list.

0:44:130:44:15

I'm working like a dog to keep a roof over my family's head.

0:44:150:44:18

I missed my kids growing up,

0:44:180:44:19

and my wife now wants to give me the heave-ho.

0:44:190:44:22

-At least you've got an Oscar.

-Two.

0:44:220:44:24

Two. I beg your pardon.

0:44:240:44:26

I think maybe we both mucked things up.

0:44:280:44:31

Oh, you haven't mucked up anything.

0:44:310:44:33

You're a fine director, Bob.

0:44:330:44:36

A really fine director.

0:44:360:44:38

You should be very proud.

0:44:380:44:40

And you, you started from nothing.

0:44:400:44:42

Look at all you've accomplished.

0:44:420:44:44

My grandfather was a US senator.

0:44:440:44:47

My cousin is Nelson Rockefeller.

0:44:470:44:50

And you overcame all that.

0:44:500:44:52

ALARM RINGS

0:46:130:46:16

ALARM STOPS

0:46:160:46:17

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