Mommie Dearest Feud: Bette and Joan

Ew. How are you doing that?

It's so easy. I'll show you.

Oh, we're not allowed to smoke.

You don't inhale. That's the whole point.

Boys love it.

Here, you try.

-JOAN:

-Kathy!

What are you doing?

Why don't you girls go back to my dressing room, please?

Thank you.

I'll be speaking to your mother about this, miss.

This programme contains some strong language

This programme contains some scenes of a sexual nature

I want you to stay away from that girl.

When you see her again, no need to be rude,

just wish her a crisp "good morning" and keep moving.

There.

Oh, Mamacita, that's lovely.

Mm-hm.

I believe I'll have the veal tonight, Michael, please -

and, Mamacita, I noticed you were eyeing the liver.

Yeah, with onions.

And fish sticks for you, girls?

May we have steak?

-SHE LAUGHS

-Oh.

Oh, they grow up so fast.

SHE CHUCKLES

Two filets, Michael, please.

Very rare.

Thank you.

Mother, may we take off these bows?

Everybody's staring.

That's not why they're staring, dear heart.

Oh, Miss Joan, before I forget...

What's this?

It's the card to go with the flowers you're sending to Miss Christina.

She's opening in her play tomorrow night.

No.

No, I don't believe I will.

Do you think my mother ever sent me flowers?

Do you think she ever sent me anything?

I was earning my own room and board by the time

I was 12 years old, scrubbing toilets,

but did I complain?

Not once.

Did I expect cards and flowers? Never.

But I'll tell you what, it made me tough.

Gave me ambition.

No, we'll...

we'll see how her reviews are, and then...

we'll think about sending flowers.

You may go to the powder room and remove your bows,

if that's what you wish.

But don't come back looking dishevelled.

-Thank you, Mommy.

-Thank you, Mommy.

Here, let me see that.

Mamacita, let me see that.

And a pen.

-WOMAN:

-These are the second and third choices

for the neighbour girl.

Yeah, they're not a patch on the girl I had to let go.

How about her? She just came off of Wagon Train.

Yeah, looks like she was pulling it.

That is why we're recasting, isn't it?

-The first one was too pretty?

-Who's too pretty?

Tony Curtis. Which is why I'm still refusing his dinner invitations.

I need to speak with Bob.

He is all yours. Well, half yours.

Uh...

I think it's best to be direct in these matters.

What happened Friday night was wonderful,

but it can't happen again.

Oh, Bette, you don't know how happy I am to hear you say that.

I was looking at Harriet this morning, and I thought,

"Oh, this...this can't happen again." You're right.

I agree with you completely.

Good.

But did you have to agree so quickly?

THEY BOTH LAUGH

What's all this?

-Oh, cannon fodder.

-Possible replacements for the girl

that you and Crawford had me can.

Here are the revised pages, Dad.

-Thank you, honey.

-Adell, such a professional young lady.

How are you finding things? Enjoying yourself?

Oh, it's a real thrill. I feel like I'm learning so much.

You're doing a marvellous job.

Oh, thank you, Miss Davis.

Bette, don't coddle her.

You promised me you'd be as tough on her

as you would any other script girl.

I just admire that you make your pictures a family affair.

-It's called nepotism. The town runs on it.

-That is so true.

Perhaps we should cast my daughter as the neighbour girl.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Hey, that's not a bad idea.

-No, I'm joking, Bob.

-No, come on! BD's the right age.

She's got the right amount of teenage sass.

She is not an actress.

Well, look who her mother is, for Christ's sake.

The apple can't fall that far from the tree.

Now, you say she doesn't understand you,

doesn't appreciate how hard you work for her.

Well, give her a pair of your shoes, and let her walk around for a while.

And what would Crawford think about that?

She has a daughter who's actually an actress, you know.

Christina's too old for the part.

She's adopted. She could be talented.

SHE LAUGHS

KNOCK AT DOOR Yeah.

Bette, I'm sorry.

I would have waited to bring this up,

but I just felt like I couldn't do my best work today

with it weighing on my mind.

It's about BD.

Oh, Christ, I planned to talk to you about this after we wrapped.

Did she already say something?

I just want you to know, I was not unkind,

though I was quite firm.

Well, what are you talking about?

Your daughter was corrupting my twins.

I caught them smoking.

I already told her to steer clear of your tots,

and she knows she is not supposed to smoke.

Well, perhaps you can keep a little tighter reign on her.

Sure - but let me ask you something.

I see the way your girls are.

They're like two well-trained Pomeranians.

Just what is your secret?

My secret?

Well, uh...

I've always been a strict disciplinarian.

Some people, perhaps, find that I've been too strict,

especially with my first two,

Christina and Christopher.

I find that giving children a task to perform occupies the mind,

and gives them a real sense of accomplishment and responsibility.

I mean, my twins, for instance, they just love sewing and cooking.

That's a good idea. So, Crawfish..

..what do you say we toss back a few after work tonight?

JOAN LAUGHS

You and me?

I'll buy.

All right.

And close the door.

-What?

-The door.

-Close it?

-Yeah.

So, I had just wanted to thank you.

Thank me? For what?

For your advice.

I'm putting BD to work on the picture.

Bob wants her to play the neighbour girl.

Really?

-I see.

-SHE LAUGHS

That's why you asked me here,

because you were afraid I would make a stink.

I know what do you think of me, Bette.

I know what you've always thought of me.

I know what you think of my mothering.

Well, I just want to say that if I appear to be overprotective

or worry too much about my children,

it's only because I had a mother who didn't care whether I lived or died.

Threw me out like a pair of old shoes.

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Shipped me off to convent school

when I was 12.

-Maybe she was trying to protect your virtue.

-Oh, no. No, no, no.

That ship had sailed. She knew that.

You lost your cherry when you were 12?

11.

Christ!

I didn't even get a tingle till I was 25,

and then I waited another two years before I did the deed,

and that was on my goddamn honeymoon.

Well, in the desert that was my childhood,

I was grateful for any kind of genuine affection,

to feel cherished.

Who was the lucky Cub Scout?

My mother's second husband, Henry Cassin.

He was a lovely man.

Meant the world to me.

Well, we called him Daddy Cassin, but he wasn't really my daddy.

We weren't blood relations, so it wasn't incest.

But he was kind and gentle, and he loved me.

I led him into it.

You were just a child.

Your mother should have kicked him out.

Well, perhaps, but I was glad to get out of there.

-JOAN LAUGHS

-Get away from my mother.

I mean, the nuns were brutal, but nothing compared

to the way my mother treated me.

The nuns actually taught me a great deal,

things I still cherish -

discipline, the importance of cleanliness and order.

Well, after my father ditched us,

we were also sent off to a boarding school.

Not nuns.

Puritan Yankees.

You know, lots of fresh air, no electricity,

naked baths in the snow.

I loved it.

Made me tough.

Course it was very difficult

being separated from my mother, but she had to work.

I mean, and work she did, like a dog, until we were reunited.

And then she never left my side to the end of her days.

She, um...

She died only last year.

Do you miss her?

Yes.

Yes.

I think maybe sh...

She was my only true female friend.

You're lucky.

Look, we don't have to be best pals,

just allies.

We both want the same thing -

for this picture to be a success.

Well, I'm sure it will be, thanks to you.

You're a shoo-in for Best Actress.

I'm too old to even think about awards.

-SHE CHUCKLES

-There, you see that?

Even that was almost convincing.

I mean it, Lucille.

I'm going to support this picture

even if it means supporting you, too.

That story you were set to run, I don't think you should.

-HEDDA:

-'Don't go soft on me now. We have a strategy.'

If you want to steal the picture, we should stick to it.

-But she'll know it came from me.

-'How?'

Anyone on that set could've complained

about her offensive body odour.

But nobody works under those lights in such close contact as I do.

-She'll know.

-HEDDA CHUCKLES

Well, I'll be damned.

Joan Crawford, Miss Crystal Allen herself,

is actually losing her nerve.

'No, it's just that I think I am beginning

'to understand her a little bit.'

I mean, she's a single mother working in Hollywood.

I don't think you can begin to appreciate, Hedda,

just how tough that can be.

You know, Joan, I could've gone out

and bought myself a passel of brats, too, but why bother?

The town's already full of 'em.

There's no need to be small.

Remind me to tell you that on Oscar night

when she picks up the award for Best Actress.

You said he was from Broadway. He's not. I checked.

All his stage work is from San Diego.

Yeah, the Old Globe. He's a distinguished Shakespearian actor.

Oh, I'm sure his Falstaff is the talk of Tijuana.

-Oh, Christ, look at him.

-He's eating because he's nervous.

Look, let's just get through this rehearsal, then see how you feel.

Nobody's that nervous.

-Hi, Mom!

-Uh, why are you reading it as if you're thrilled to see me?

You're watching a shitty Crawford picture on television.

You're distracted. Try it again.

I always think it's nice to break bread with strangers, don't you?

Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.

Sorry.

Bob, don't you think it would be better

if I just took the entire plate from her?

BOB CHUCKLES Knock yourself out. I ain't hungry.

Ha! Oh. Oh, that reaction is priceless.

I imagine that would be Jane's reaction, too -

taken aback by Edwin's boorishness.

She'd wonder, "Is this man a sophisticated artist

"or a cheap pig?"

I guess she'll find out.

I guess she will.

And then the television talks,

"When your dog says woof, feed him Iliad."

Then I say to the TV, "Oh, shut up."

Now you talk some more.

OK, Bette, you'll hear the buzz, you go upstairs to confront Blanche.

Then, Victor, you're left here on your own to explore. OK?

Well, how come we never see her around?

We've been living next door to them for six months now

and the only one I ever see is that fat sister

slouching around.

Get ready. And...buzz.

Will you please excuse me?

Oh, certainly.

You like him.

I like talent.

You know, Julie says that sister is kind of peculiar.

Did you ever notice that?

No, I never have.

You're good.

Oh.

It's like Mommy just gave me a new pony.

I'm awful, aren't I?

You'll get better.

KNOCK AT DOOR Yeah.

I just got off the phone with Hopper.

She wanted me to comment on a story.

What story?

Bette. Bette...

Where's your wheelchair?

It's on the set, of course. Why?

Because you're going to need it after I break your goddamn legs.

Where do you get off telling Hopper

that you're going to be in the Best Actress category

and I've decided to be in Supporting?

-It was your idea.

-What? Have you lost your mind?

Ha, well, now, she'd had a bit to drink, that's true,

but she seemed lucid and certainly sincere.

You said you didn't care about awards,

that you wanted to support me.

And you took that to mean that I would go into Supporting

and hand you Lead Actress?

Well, I thought it was a collegial gesture.

I mean, after all, you have bookend Oscars.

I've only got one.

Well, you tell Hopper to print this -

I'm not sharing shit with you.

And let me tell you something else,

I'm going to be the first person to have three Oscars.

Even though everyone knows I already should have,

because I got robbed in 1950.

That's certainly ungracious, yes, and dismissive

of Miss Judy Holliday's winsome performance.

She won by default!

That bitch Anne Baxter, she pushed her way into my category

and we split the vote.

That's why she won.

Well, need I remind you that, unlike Eve,

you and I share equal billing on this.

-We're both leads.

-Ladies, why are we fighting about the Oscars?

We haven't even finished making this movie yet.

Can we please concentrate on the matter at hand?

-There's room for both of you to succeed.

-Ha, in this town?

-Are you nuts?

-Fuck off, Bob.

And it was Gloria Swanson who was robbed in 1950,

not you, bitch!

DOORS SLAM

Well, boss, it looks like you got yourself

another war picture after all.

-BIKE BELL RINGS

-Good morning, Frank.

-I trust you had a restful weekend.

-JOAN CHUCKLES

Oh, Mamacita, don't you just love a Monday?

-Good morning.

-Morning.

This is going to be a long goddamn week.

-BELL RINGS

-OK, Bette, I need the same energy.

You come bursting through the door and then you rush over to Blanche.

OK?

You rush over to the bed,

you untie her,

lift her off the bed,

drag her to the door.

Joan, Blanche is passed out.

OK? So you just lie slack. You're dead weight.

I'll say she is.

-OK. Here we go.

-BELL RINGS

-MAN:

-Roll camera!

-MAN:

-Speed!

And action!

BETTE PANTS

Blanche. Blanche.

You-you...

you got to...got to...help me.

Here, we've got to leave.

Leave. Please.

Please, Blanche.

Blanche!

Please!

BETTE GRUNTS

-JOAN GIGGLES

-Cut!

-Cut!

-BELL RINGS

-OK, let's do it again.

-Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm ticklish.

It's OK, Joan. It's OK. We'll do it again. No problem.

-Are you ready?

-OK, keep it together.

-Back to one.

-BELL RINGS

-Roll camera!

-Speed!

And...action!

BETTE GRUNTS JOAN COUGHS

-Cut!

-I'm sorry! I'm sorry.

-Must be the dust.

-Back to one.

BETTE SLURPS

-Cut.

-Cut.

-I'm sorry.

-What?

Does she have to stand there?

She's not the director. Why is she standing there?

If I were the director,

I'd tell you to do it again and again until it was convincing.

Bette, please.

-MAN:

-Speed!

-OK, you ready, Bette?

-Yeah.

-And action.

Oh, that face.

Right into camera.

-SHE CHUCKLES

-This really is a horror picture.

-Cut!

-BELL RINGS

All right, let's do it again.

Maybe we'll actually get it right this time.

-I really think this will be the one.

-That's encouraging,

since you don't actually have to do anything.

-Roll camera!

-Speed!

-Action.

-BETTE GRUNTS

BETTE GROANS JOAN LAUGHS

Oh, what the fuck? Cut!

And I know what you're trying to do.

I'm not trying to do anything.

Honestly, Jane.

BETTE GRUNTS

-And cut.

-BELL RINGS

-BETTE GRUNTS

-Bette, cut!

Cut! All right, moving on.

Joan, we're going to need you in here for the medium shots.

BETTE GRUNTS JOAN GROANS

Ah!

Ow!

Oh! Goddamn it!

-Cut, cut, cut, cut.

-Oh, Christ!

-Are you OK?

-She did that on purpose!

-I barely touched her.

Oh, Jesus. Well, are you just going to stand there, you bastard?!

Did you get it?

BETTE GRUNTS

Help me.

Leave. BETTE GRUNTS

-And cut!

-Oh! Son of a bitch! BELL RINGS

Get me an osteopath, for God's sakes.

-What's wrong? What's wrong?

-BETTE GROANS

Jesus. Oh, my God! Don't touch me.

-OK.

-Can we do it again?

-No, no.

-Oh, are you kidding me?

Don't even think about it.

LOUD THUD

I mean, it must be awful.

You know, Julie says that sister is kind of peculiar.

Christ, this is painful.

Oh, come on, Bette, it's not that bad.

Don't condescend, Bob. She's awful.

-ON FILM:

-Like a regular sentence, you know?

L-Like just a regular person talking.

Like, here? OK.

Try just a little less. Just a-a...

-Start again, start again.

-OK. From the top, or...?

Maybe you could put her dialogue off camera.

You're overreacting. It's a small part. She'll be fine.

-I guess she should know.

-She's beautiful.

She's not an actress.

No, she's not.

-ON FILM:

-Try as if you were talking to your best friend.

She should be billed as BD Merrill, not Davis.

Julie says that sister is...

-ON FILM:

-A little louder.

-What? That's her name.

He adopted her. Legally.

You know, Julie says that sister is kind of peculiar.

-Did you ever notice that?

-Oh, God.

-What should I say to her?

-Well, she's your kid.

You're not going to tell her she stinks on ice.

You'll... You'll lie to her.

Don't they ever have company?

I mean, it must be awful.

Well, I think you're good. Really good.

You don't know what that means to me, coming from you.

Sure, I do. All the queens love me. HE SIGHS

It's true.

Do it again.

Fine.

What a dump! HE GASPS DELIGHTEDLY

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Oh, it's marvellous.

HE SIGHS

You know, I think it's so admirable the way you've embraced my tribe.

The truth is, I only really knew I'd made it

once the female impersonators started doing me in their acts.

That guarantees you're leaving behind a real legacy.

Ah, the only real legacy is children.

Not all destined to become parents, but we are all somebody's child.

And your mother. She loves you? Supports you?

Mother's always been just...

..very supportive.

Good.

We have to love our kids, no matter what.

Like my Margot.

Oh. Who's Margot?

My youngest. We adopted her when she was just a baby.

Sweet little thing.

By the time she was three,

it was clear she wasn't like other children.

She was diagnosed mentally retarded.

Oh. I'm so sorry.

She's in a special school in Maine.

She gets everything she needs.

And it ain't cheap, let me tell you that.

It's one of the main reasons I'm doing this picture,

is to pay her tuition.

Mother. I'd like to run lines.

I'm already doing that with Mr Buono, sweetheart.

But I have a scene that shoots tomorrow.

Oh, well, then, you should be in bed getting your beauty rest.

I want to do a good job.

I'm sure you'll do your best, BD.

Goodnight.

So, page 75.

Oh, yes.

Girls? Mommy's home.

Girls?

Girls!

They're not here. Don't you remember?

They start camp today. Two weeks.

Of course. I guess I'm going to have to get used to it.

To camp?

No, to this - coming home to this awful silence.

You deserve silence. Children are hard work.

Once the work is done, silence is the reward.

Reward?

You know, Mamacita, one of the things I loved most

about having these children, all of them,

was that no matter what I was doing,

making a picture, or out for an event,

the mad rush that was once my life,

was that I'd always come home to this wonderful noise and joy.

JOAN CHUCKLES AND SNIFFLES

Well, it's the condition of being a professional woman, I suppose.

Maybe all women.

One day, you...

..you wake up and you find...

JOAN SOBS QUIETLY

..you've no husband,

your career is over,

the children are grown and left the nest,

and all you're left with is yourself.

Yes, women outlive men, children leave -

best get used to it.

JOAN CHUCKLES

Oh, Mamacita.

JOAN LAUGHS

How I love your Teutonic pragmatism.

No, you're right. It's no tragedy.

It's simply a new chapter, that's all.

And me being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely.

Does it?

JOAN CHUCKLES

I'll embrace the change of things to come

and really learn how to enjoy me.

OK.

Goodnight.

SHE SNIFFLES

GUNSHOTS

GUNSHOTS ON TV CONTINUE

-TV:

-Don't shoot! We give up!

How about you, Nevada?

More sandwich?

-TV:

-You'll have to come and get me.

-JOAN SIGHS

-Drop your gun.

-Thank you, Mamacita.

GUNSHOTS ON TV

-SHE INHALES

-I want the dirt.

You'll have to settle for sand.

-JOAN:

-Oh, you think she's hard to take on a sound stage?

My God, you should see her in the wild.

-HEDDA LAUGHS

-In broad daylight, it's horrifying.

BETTE: Coca-Cola, Bob?

-You're a bad girl, Bette.

-BETTE CHUCKLES

-So, where's the Queen of Sheba?

-In her dressing room.

She's coming.

All those years of alcohol abuse have exacted a terrible price.

Christ. It's 100 degrees, and she's drunk.

'And so unprofessional.

'She refused a mobile dressing room,

'insisted on being ferried back and forth to a motel,

'while the rest of us sat and waited for her

'in the scorching sun.'

That's scandalous.

It's warm, Mamacita. I'm going to need my water standing by.

Which water?

Joan.

Bob.

Joan.

Good morning.

Let me show you where you're going to be dying.

I'm going to have to go back to my dressing room for a moment,

but I'll be right back.

Your dressing room's 100 yards away. Let's rehearse the scene first.

Mamacita, get the driver.

CAR DOOR CLOSES

I'll be right back.

Lucky she's laying on her back all day.

For her, it was just another day at the beach,

but for me, I really had to draw on some very deep feelings.

It took all the skill that I had

just to bring some reality to the moment.

Because you're a pro.

I'm not falling on those.

I don't do stunts.

And I got absolutely no support from my director

or from my co-star.

The selfish bitch.

And cut.

-BOB CHUCKLES

-Print that one, Ernie.

-Let's go in tighter.

-Aah.

-No, Joan.

-Joan.

-What?

Wai-Wait, don't go anywhere. We're just swinging a lens.

I'll be back in two ticks.

We're losing the light.

Tighter.

Are you sure that's not too tight?

Well, get it even.

All right.

Is that as tight as it'll go?

-MAMACITA SCOFFS

-Already it's too much.

-Oh, shut up.

Just go ahead and tie it, for Christ's sake.

CAR DOOR CLOSES

Is it me, or is she getting younger?

-PAULINE:

-You're just now noticing?

Every time she comes back from her trailer,

she's lost five more years.

Oh, Christ. Let's just get through this.

'It was my big scene.'

My dying confession.

I knew she would do something to steal it.

Roll those big bug eyes or something,

anything to draw the focus to her.

Action.

Jane, I'm...

I'm dying.

There's no time.

You must listen.

I made you...

..waste your whole life.

She looks too goddamn good.

So what did the old harpy do to cock it up?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

I got through my entire speech.

I think I even moved her with my performance.

Well, I'm already writing the rave in my head.

-ROBERT:

-Jesus, Ernie. How's she doing that?

She looks 20 years younger.

Almost losing the light.

-I think it must be those reflectors I'm hitting her with.

-No.

I swear to God.

It's the goddamn acting.

'I hate this fucking picture.'

But if it's successful,

I can make a pretty penny.

OK. OK.

That's good.

SHE SIGHS

I was in the neighbourhood.

How nice.

Thank you.

So, word on the street is that Crawford's walking away

with the picture.

Is that what all the streetwalkers are saying, Hedda?

-That's the buzz.

-Oh, and who's the busy little bee?

Careful. Once you sting, you die.

HEDDA LAUGHS But not the queen.

-BETTE CHUCKLES

-Oh, come on, Bette.

All those ridiculous studio press releases

touting how wonderfully well you two have been getting along?

It's hogwash.

I happen to know every single nasty thing

you've done to Crawford over the last six weeks.

-Kicking a woman in the head?

-HEDDA CHUCKLES

Academy members don't reward that sort of behaviour.

I mean, regardless of what we think of Crawford,

she is an institution.

Or belongs in one if she really thinks you're her friend.

Oh, Bette.

I'm offering you an opportunity.

Give me your side of the story, and then when it all comes out,

you won't have to be painted as the bad guy.

-I win awards playing bad guys.

-But that's on the screen.

-This is real life.

-Real life? Ha!

This isn't real life. This is Hollywood, Hedda.

It's all fake, from the manicured lawns in the desert

to your manufactured concern.

Well, I am concerned.

I so wanted to write a story

about how two of Hollywood's golden titans were getting along,

as an example to ladies everywhere.

But I am a truth teller, I must report the facts,

regardless of how ugly they may be.

You have been circling this project like a vulture from the start.

It's women like you,

who've nurtured venom and resentment for years,

that make it such a battle for the rest of us

who are actually putting our asses on the line

and risking something.

Truth teller.

That's right.

And the truth is, I hear your daughter stinks on ice.

-She practically ruins the picture.

-Get out.

And BD's name better not show up in one of your poison-pen columns.

Everything's fair game, Bette.

Not my child.

And for your information, she doesn't ruin the picture.

Her role isn't important enough to do that.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Shit.

-I know you.

-Oh.

I've seen you on Hawaiian Eye.

You're Charles Laughton.

MOANING

I want to be in pictures.

That's why I came out here from Nebraska.

You think I could be in pictures?

You think I could be a star?

You have...loads of potential.

-Police!

-WHISTLE BLOWS

-Police, hold it.

-Hey.

WHISTLE BLOWS INDISTINCT CHATTER

-Let's go. Come on.

-There's been a mistake.

This is...I was looking for a gas station.

PHONE RINGS

What?

KEYS JANGLE DOOR UNLOCKS

Well, them's the breaks, lady.

You can bail your friend out after the judge sees him in a few hours.

He's not seeing a judge in a few hours

because he did not do anything.

My friend is an actor,

and he was there doing research

for a part in a motion picture.

I suppose you could verify that?

What do you think?

Can't thank you enough for doing this.

You'll understand why I couldn't call my own mother.

I spent 30 years earning a little capital.

I don't mind spending it on a friend.

But Victor, you've got to be more careful.

Something like this could ruin your career.

I hate keeping secrets. I hate lying.

Lying is what we do for a living, kid.

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

SOUNDTRACK FADES

Jack, I know it's a little rough around the edges,

but this short editing schedule you've got me on is pretty brutal.

JACK CHUCKLES

I'll tell you what's brutal,

I got 400 theatres booked already.

400.

And this is what you give me?

Come on.

Look, Bob, the picture's not terrible, until the end,

and that's the only thing that anybody's going to remember.

If you don't have an ending that works,

you don't have a picture, right?

You want to change the ending.

No, I don't want to... I... Goddamn it!

I want the ending that we agreed on.

Crawford dying on the beach.

That's what I want.

Instead, every time you cut back to her,

it looks like she's getting better.

It's like fucking Camille in reverse.

Yeah, yeah, OK, we can reshoot that.

You're goddamn right we can.

Yeah, but I can't take the entire company back to the beach.

Well, then just bring the beach to the stage.

-OK.

-OK.

How much do you want to spend on that?

JACK CHUCKLES

I am not spending anything on that, Bob.

That's coming out of your end.

I'm going to New York to see My Fair Fucking Lady.

Just do it by the time I get back, all right?

And get that hangdog expression off your face. Come on, come on.

It's not like you just took a dump all over Casablanca.

It's a B-movie.

It's always been a B-movie.

Always will be a B-movie.

B, B, B, B...

This?

Toss that in the box.

You know, there was a time when I wouldn't be the one doing this,

I would be off to my next project,

but now it's not even clear there will be a next project.

BD?

I'm sorry I wasn't better.

I wanted to do a good job.

Oh, sweetheart, you did a fine job.

You did a very fine job.

A creditable job.

I mean, it was your first picture. You looked beautiful.

And you...spoke clearly.

You hit your marks,

you didn't look into the lens once, not once.

You make it look so easy.

BD SIGHS

I hope I didn't ruin it.

If Crawford couldn't ruin the picture,

nobody could.

MUSIC BOX CLICKS

MUSIC BOX PLAYS

You might want to take special note of my projected income,

I have a new picture coming out in a few months.

You're clearly a woman of means, Miss Crawford.

That's not really the issue.

Well, there should be no issue.

It's my deepest desire to offer a loving home

to a motherless child.

It's no longer 1940.

I mean, the notion of a single mother adopting

should no longer be an issue.

While your marital status may present some questions,

that's not why we're turning down your application.

You're turning me down?

Why?

Because it's no longer 1940.

You're simply too old.

BETTE: Margot?

Margot, darling, it's Mommy.

-MARGOT:

-Mommy?

Yes, sweetheart, how are you?

Miss Ashland told me that, uh, you've been painting

some beautiful pictures.

Mommy, where are you?

Mommy's been working in California.

And she really misses you.

BETTE SIGHS

But I'm coming home soon.

And, uh...

Well, I-I'll drive up and we'll have a very long visit,

and we'll go swimming if it's not too chilly.

Would you like that, sweetheart?

RUSTLING OVER THE PHONE

Margot?

Margot?

I'm sorry, Miss Davis.

I think she got a little distracted.

I understand.

Jane, I...

I'm dying.

There's no time.

You must listen.

I made you waste your whole life,

thinking you'd crippled me.

Please stop.

You didn't do it, Jane.

I did it myself.

Don't you understand?

I crippled myself.

You weren't driving that night.

You were too drunk, I wouldn't let you drive.

I made you go open the gates.

I watched you get out of the car.

You'd been so cruel to me at the party,

imitating me,

making people laugh at me.

I watched you get out of the car.

I wanted to run you down.

Crush you.

But you saw the car coming.

I hit the gates.

I...snapped my spine.

Then, you mean...

..all this time we could've been friends?

-Cut. Print that one.

-BELL RINGS

Brilliant.

SHE SIGHS

-MAN:

-Ladies and gentlemen, that's a wrap.

APPLAUSE