Wise Men Holby City

TRANSLATED FROM RUSSIAN

Elliot! What brings you to AAU?

-What time do you finish?

-About ten minutes.

I need to ask you something rather important.

But this is your job. You are Holby Santa.

I was. But I'll be out of the country, so...

I'm passing on the mantle to you.

Jewish Santa? I'm deeply touched!

-Good, cheers.

-Cheers.

So where are you off to?

I've been emailed by this doctor,

begging me to give a lecture on the Hope valve.

It's all very flattering, so that is what I'm doing tomorrow morning.

On Christmas Eve?

Where I'm going, Christmas doesn't even start until January the 6th.

# Have yourself a merry little Christmas

# Let your heart be light... #

-Why are you still here?

-Waiting for a cab.

What have you got to be so happy about?

I have just been crowned Holby Santa,

and as of tomorrow, Daniel and I

have two full weeks of Yuletide bonding to look forward to while Chrissie's off on her honeymoon.

You haven't heard then?

Heard what?

Hi, Chrissie, I've just heard... about you and Dan.

If there's anything I can do, OK?

Anything. You know where I am.

Mr Hope? Mr Hope?

Welcome to Kiev.

Dr Tereschenko?

Please, I prefer it if you call me Nadiya.

How did you know it was me?

This is your first time in Ukraine?

Yes. Never been further east than Germany before.

And this is our transportation.

Right. Splendid.

Company car. Comes with the job.

Thank you. How do I say "thank you"?

-Dyakuyu.

-Dja-koo-woo.

Great. You're fluent already.

Did I fall through a hole in the space time continuum

and emerge on the 6th January?

My plans have changed.

I heard. It's excellent news.

We're in dire need another pair of hands to staunch the unceasing flow of human misery.

David Boggan - unfortunate name, he thinks he has appendicitis,

I think he has the after-effects of his office Christmas party. Bed six. Have fun.

I didn't expect to see you in here today.

What else should I be doing?

Are you sure coming in was a good idea?

My job is the one thing I know I can do. Even if everything else is a complete disaster.

This is one part of my life I know I can make a success of.

The students are very excited to hear you talk.

They want to know all about the Hope valve.

-You've brought one with you?

-Of course.

I've been polishing my lecture over the last few days. I hope it'll be of some interest.

I assure you, Mr Hope, it will be a real privilege for us

to hear about your important work in the United Kingdom.

I don't know about that. Is it always this cold?

I'm afraid - this time of year.

So, using muscle taken from the patient's thigh,

we wrap the valve in the fascia.

The advantage of using the patient's own tissue...

Sorry, yes. I'll let you...

HE TRANSLATES INTO UKRAINIAN

The advantage of using the patient's own tissue is that the valve

will last longer, and the risk of infection is less.

HE TRANSLATES

So in conclusion, it only rests me to thank

Doctor Tereschenko for inviting me to give this little talk.

Chokoyoyo.

-#Dyakuyu.

-Dyakuyu!

POLITE APPLAUSE

Thank you so much, Mr Hope. That was absolutely fascinating.

I must say, I had hoped for perhaps a slightly larger audience.

I must apologise, but being so close to Christmas...

I thought Christmas didn't start here until January 6th?

For the young people, it starts now and it carries on until the New Year.

I'm afraid your lecture could not compete with zapoy.

Zapoy?

It means losing two, three days, maybe a week, to drinking.

Some cliches about us Eastern Europeans, I'm afraid they're true.

No matter.

But since you're here, maybe I could give you a tour of the hospital?

I have a patient I would really value your opinion on.

Any particular reason you keep staring at Chrissie?

Fascinating case.

Fascinating how?

Freud's theory of psychodynamics. It's all about cathexis.

Come again?

Cathexis is the process of putting all of your mental or emotional energy into one thing.

How does that apply to her?

She was about to make a lifelong commitment to that orthopod, then she made a last minute swerve.

In theory, she should be falling apart now,

but she's throwing herself into her work.

Classic case of denial.

She just needs cheering up.

Cheering up?

I am Sacha Claus.

And it is my sacred duty to spread joy and goodwill to all.

It's Christmas Eve on the Acute Admissions Unit.

It's gloomy as hell and I like it that way.

With all due respect, Mr Hemingway, I look forward to proving you wrong.

This is Jim Fortune, pain to the left hand

and abdomen with possible internal bleed.

It's a gift to us from the ED,

apparently there's no room at the inn.

Santa, you're a stupid, fat GIT!

Mr Fortune, have you by any chance been drinking?

One tiny drink.

Any idea what happened?

Threw himself off a bridge.

Ho-ho-ho.

Are these...?

You must have seen sterilisation drums before?

Yes, but not since my student days. They're rather wonderful.

For you, maybe. For us, it would be more wonderful to have brand new equipment.

Yes. Yes, of course.

It's OK, Mr Hope.

We know very well what we do not have.

Two kilometres up the road is a private hospital with all

the latest equipment, but here, we are at the mercy of the state.

Well, I can relate to that to some degree.

I've spent my entire career in the National Health Service.

And you were never tempted by the big bucks in private medicine?

Honestly, no.

I've always believed that the best medical care should be a right,

not a privilege.

It should.

-What's going on?

-He's trying to steal from us.

-He's just a child.

-He's a street child. Look at him.

He's filthy. He's probably on drugs too.

-Let go.

-You don't understand, Mr Hope.

-He's in pain. You're hurting him.

What's he saying?

He says you look like Did Moroz.

He's like our Santa Claus.

-Ho-ho-ho.

-Ho-ho-ho.

Good boy.

If the tumour is pressing on his optic nerve,

-he risks losing sight in this eye. So...

-I will stop you there, Mr Hope.

We cannot treat him here.

Why not?

The boy's life is not in danger.

-We don't have the equipment. We don't have the resources.

-But it's a State Hospital.

Bed space, medicine, they cost money.

-So that's it?

-That is our system.

Now, this patient I told you about.

His condition is serious. It is urgent.

I have... grave concerns.

Right, but he stays here.

At least until we get back.

Please. After you.

-It would be a lot easier If you could just keep still.

-Why don't you shut up and leave me alone?

We need to assess you so you don't die on us.

Don't you get it? That's the point! I want to die.

-No, you don't.

-Oh, really?

You've got a special thing, have you, to look inside my head?

Got a special thingummy wotsit that can look in here?

I tell you what, this is a very busy department,

and Mr Levy nor myself have time to waste on self-pitying drunkards.

So what we're going to do, we're going to put you on a drip

and if you're very lucky, we'll come back try this again.

-Good for you.

-You sure that's a good idea?

What's the worst that can happen? He dies on us? That'll free up another bed.

Can't we send him back to the ED?

Have you ever seen an Emergency Department on Christmas Eve?

It's like something by Hieronymous Bosch.

How come I only ever seem to understand one word in three that comes out of your mouth?

Right, thank you, Lev.

When did he have the pulmonary homograft?

When he was 24 - fifteen years ago.

-It's now calcified.

-So what would you suggest?

It needs to be replaced and as soon as possible.

It's a very risky procedure, but his only option, I'm afraid.

I already know all of that.

Then why did you need my opinion?

You said it yourself, his only chance now is a valve replacement.

Perhaps one such as the Hope valve?

Yes, but I'd be wary of a surgeon who wasn't fully trained in fitting the valve, even attempting to...

You misunderstand me. I wasn't talking about one of our surgeons.

I can give you some money.

-I'm sure it's not what you are used to, but I can make it worth your while.

-It's not about the money.

You didn't ask me here to give a lecture, did you?

Who is he?

He is my husband.

Right. Thanks for nothing.

-Everything OK?

-Actually, no. The stupid airline won't give me a refund on these tickets.

What tickets?

The honeymoon tickets! I've got two tickets to Australia. What am I supposed do with them?

Maybe you should just go.

I can't go on a honeymoon for the wedding that I called off.

This whole thing is turning into a nightmare.

No. It's not. It's fine. Leave it with me. I'll sort it out.

Honestly.

All right, details and the times and everything's there.

What would I do without you?

Hey! Hey! You forgotten about me? I'm completely sober now. Look!

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

-What?

-Now Bone Cruncher's off the scene, you're not going to start mooning after her again, are you?

-I'm just concerned about my friend, that's all.

-Good.

Cos I'd hope you'd have more self respect than to go chasing after another guy's cast-offs.

Do you ever stop?

You brought me here under false pretences.

Why couldn't you just tell me the truth?

And would you have come?

You think I want to do this?

You think I have no pride?

Look, I would like to help you, but I've only ever done this procedure

with state of the art equipment and a specially trained surgical team.

-It would be reckless, dangerous, for me to even try...

-His heart could fail at any moment.

You are supposed to be the best.

You are supposed to be the one who can help him.

Where's he going?

Who knows? Back on the street.

Stop him.

Why?

I will help your husband, if you help the boy.

Dyakuyu.

As her doctor, I consider flying in her current emotional state

to be extremely inadvisable.

And as I've said before, I'm very happy to write a note to that effect...

Yes, right. Well, thank you anyway.

It was something I'd been thinking about for a while.

Last night, I had a few drinks. Then a few more.

Then that old black and white film came on. The one with James Stewart.

And he's standing on the bridge, saying he wished he'd never been born,

and I thought, yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me.

Come on, Jim. Things can't be that bad.

At the start of last year, I lost both my parents within a week of each other.

Then my wife left me,

and the judge gave her full custody of my two small sons.

So, yeah, actually, Santa, things ARE that bad.

They couldn't get much worse.

Actually, they could.

Despite throwing yourself off a bridge, you've escaped with just a few bruises

and a fractured wrist.

Should have picked a higher bridge! I'm such a total failure, I can't even top myself properly.

Mr Levy, Can I have a word?

This might help with your Cheer Up Chrissie campaign. Depending on the contents, of course.

-It's her results. For the Nurse Practitioner's Course.

-Perfect.

They're bringing Lev now. Are you ready, Mr Hope?

This bypass machine isn't working, can we get another one, please?

We don't have another one.

I'm sorry, I can't continue without a working bypass machine.

We don't have time to delay the operation.

-If anything were to go wrong, I would be guilty of manslaughter.

-Please, Mr Hope.

I'm sorry, Chrissie.

And I know right now, everything seems, you know,

pretty hopeless, but all will be well. OK, I know it in my bones.

-You've just got to have a little faith.

-Thanks for trying, Sacha.

But I don't believe in happy endings any more.

It needs a new roller pump.

It's Christmas Eve across most of Europe. Where exactly...

My first thought was that private hospital you mentioned.

-They don't allow equipment to leave the premises.

-Exactly.

So, I called in a favour with an acquaintance of mine in Hamburg.

Midday tomorrow, I'm going to pick one up from the Post Office. What about...?

-I've left messages with a colleague of mine...

-Nadiya.

There is no hurry with him. His treatment can wait.

Doctor Tereschenko, I will be leaving here in three days' time.

-I need to know that he'll be taken care of.

-It's Christmas, maybe he's away...

You haven't phoned anyone, have you? We agreed!

My husband is dying. I would have agreed to anything.

There are thousands of heart surgeons. Why me?

How did you even know I existed?

Hello, Frieda.

Thanks for everything, Doc. For putting up with me.

Merry Christmas, Jim.

Have a good one.

Well, not much chance of that, my boys don't want to see me.

Thank you. I don't blame them. I can't afford to get them anything.

Hey, come on, things can't be that bad!

What you've got here is another chance.

You're going to go home, you're going to shave,

you're going to put on a clean shirt,

and you're going to treat tomorrow as day one of the new improved Jim.

Do you know what?

Surprise them. Make a grand gesture.

Give them a Christmas to remember.

Yeah, well. Maybe... Maybe I will.

THEY LAUGH

Thanks, Doc.

I don't know what else I can tell you.

I gave her your name because her husband needs your help.

Why didn't you just call me?

It's not that simple.

Nothing about this situation is simple.

It's all completely baffling, quite frankly.

You disappeared from the hospital two months ago,

and now I wind up embroiled with you

and this Tereschenko woman in this bizarre situation.

You are going to help him, though, right?

Well, that all rather depends.

Er... on what?

On whether I get the right equipment,

and whether she fulfils her side of the deal.

What deal?

There's this child. Misha. He has a large, bony tumour on the side of his face which needs surgery.

I've told Nadiya that I won't help her husband unless she helps him.

How do you know this woman, Frieda?

Lev was my tutor.

He's a good man. You have to help him.

Who's going to help the boy?

No-one is going to help him.

Unless you find a plastic surgeon for free on Christmas Eve.

Good luck.

All right, I've got to go. I'm going to lose my job.

-Somebody will bring your bill in just a second.

-Frieda?

No.

No, no, no. I completely understand.

Yes, and a Merry Christmas to you, too.

OK, bye.

HE SIGHS

LAUGHTER

UKRAINIAN VOICES

Anyway, it'll be the first Christmas I've spent without 'em since they were born.

You know, it's fine.

We agreed in the divorce that we'd take it in turns, so...

This year the ex is taking them to visit her parents,

while I spend the Yuletide period

with good old Momma-ji and Poppa-ji in Florida.

Let me ask you something. You like Christmas?

Cos... Well, I think it blows.

PHONE RINGS

-Right, I'm heading home.

-You're not going to go without having a Christmas drink, are you?

I know you're trying to cheer me up, but I can't face everyone right now.

Excuse me, I just came to check on Mr Elgood, a mitral valve?

-I take it no tests have been run yet?

-No.

So you're going to be here for a while then?

Looks that way.

Well, that's splendid. So you can keep an eye on the shop.

We're going to go for a Christmas drink.

Hey!

Where the hell are we?

-Michael, I didn't force you to come.

-Yeah, I know that.

-So why did you?

-Well, I'm still trying to figure that out.

Man, it is freezing here! What are we, like, three miles from Siberia?

-I hope you've brought some warm clothing.

-Elliot, I was on my way to Florida.

I've got three T-shirts and six pairs of swim trunks. Better be a decent hotel room at least.

PIANO PLAYS

There you go.

Thanks.

Listen, Chrissie,

I've decided that Daniel should spend Christmas Day with you.

No. I can't let you do that. You've been looking forward to this for months.

Seriously.

The most important thing to me is that you have a happy Christmas.

-But you've...

-Chrissie, the decision is made, OK?

There'll be plenty more Christmases.

There is an obvious solution. I could bring him to you.

Are you sure?

I'm a terrible, terrible cook.

OK, I guarantee the turkey will somehow be both dry and undercooked.

Sounds perfect.

Oh, I am so sorry.

I cannot bear to sit here for another moment

and listen to the songs I love being massacred like that - I've got to do something.

You have got to be kidding me.

I've tried every hotel in the city. It's Christmas Eve.

Well, I'm certainly not going to share a hotel room with you.

Well, you're welcome to take your chances out there,

but as you have already observed, it is extremely cold.

Now, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, Michael,

-so you might want to just put on your pyjamas and...

-Pyjamas?

Who the hell wears pyjamas any more?

Why? What do you wear?

# Rockin' around the Christmas tree

# Have a happy holiday. #

APPLAUSE

Thank you! Thank you!

Right, any requests?

What about the beautiful lady here?

-I'd better get going.

-No, no, no! Please, please.

Chrissie Williams...

This one's for you.

# Have yourself a merry little Christmas

# Let your heart be light

# From now on your troubles will be out of sight... #

HE PLAYS A JAZZY VERSION OF THE TUNE

ELECTRICAL BUZZING

I cannot believe this is happening.

To be honest, I'm just glad I packed a spare pair.

You know, I should be in Florida right now, lying next to a pool.

I will say it again - I didn't force you to come.

# Through the years

# We all will be together

# If the Fates allow

# Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

# And have yourself

# A merry little Christmas

# Now. #

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you very much.

HE PLAYS A FLOURISH

Well, then.

I suppose I'd better let you go

and save our son from the creche Christmas shindig.

What?

What is it?

Oh, my God.

-I've made a complete fool of myself again, haven't I?

-Shut up.

I think I'm in love with you.

What am I supposed to say here, Chrissie?

I don't know. I...

For so long, this is all I ever wanted to hear from you.

Not that I ever had any expectation that...

How could you do this to me?

Why now?

Because I didn't realise it before.

So what is it?

What is it you love about me?

Name one thing.

I don't know.

Well, there it is.

I think that says it all.

Sacha...

A year ago...

two years ago, to hear you say these words

would have made me the happiest man alive.

But now...

I'm not going to be your consolation prize.

You know, I was thinking five star hotel,

gorgeous Eastern European women,

maybe a couple of bottles of cheap Russian champagne...

-You know you're really not fooling me, Michael.

-What's that supposed to mean?

You screwed up, publicly and humiliatingly.

You nearly ruined everything for a lot of people, including me.

And even though your first instinct was to take the coward's option

and run away...

Coward's option?

I think you still have a lot to prove to yourself.

That's why you agreed to come.

That's why you find yourself cold, in Kiev,

sharing a bed with a 51-year-old bearded widower.

Oh, for God's sake.

HE SIGHS

-This never gets out, you understand? Ever.

-Good night, Michael.

-BABY CRIES

-Please stop crying.

Please stop crying.

Please stop crying.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry, I didn't think...

-What, that a creche might actually close on Christmas Eve?

-Sorry.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to stop this thing from crying?

-I'm sorry. I put you out.

-What's up with you?

I thought you and Sacha were off to rock around the Christmas tree.

Well, that didn't really work out.

He didn't try and declare his undying love to you, did he?

Oh, God, he did.

How entirely mortifying. He really does have no self-respect at all, does he?

You know what, Jac? You've got it completely wrong again.

Oh?

I'm the one with no self-respect. I'm the one doing the declaring.

Why would you do that?

Mm...

I think the best thing is for me to do is to get out of here.

I've got two tickets to Australia.

Start again. Before anyone else gets hurt.

I think that's probably a good idea.

Merry Christmas.

-You've got to be kidding me.

-I have performed over 1000 operations in that theatre.

Good for you. I admire your resourcefulness.

Typical American, right?

Everything has to be shiny and new for you.

Hey, lady, believe me, right now, I would settle for just hygienic.

You're expecting me to crack open a kid's skull with no CT, no MRI,

and with a drill I wouldn't use to put up shelves.

-I think that's enough now, Michael.

-Ti Americanyetz?

Michael, this is Misha.

He asks if you are the American.

Yeah.

New York?

Am I from...? No.

Ti Indyetz?

What did he say?

He wants to know if you're a Red Indian.

No.

Cowboy.

Yeah.

Kovboi budet lichit' menya?

He wants to know if the cowboy is going to fix him.

Merry Christmas.

Mr Levy. You're not down to work today.

Change of plan.

-Where do you want me?

-Man the desk, we're in theatre.

PHONE RINGS

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

What do you want me to say?

I flew over, I took a look at the kid, I can't help him.

I wish I could.

Where are you going?

I'm going to go to the airport

and catch the first flight back to civilisation.

-So you're going to run away? That's your solution to everything, isn't it?

-No, I am not running away.

You know what this procedure involves.

I have to peel back the skin on this kid's head and rebuild his skull.

You want me to do that with a team that speaks no English, who I've never worked with before?

Come on, there's no chance.

Michael, what if there were someone here?

-Someone who speaks perfect English, who you've worked with many times.

-No. She's not right.

I don't want her doing this.

What?

-I don't want to see her. I don't want her in my hospital.

-What's going on here?

I am going to the post office to pick up some equipment

which may very well help save your husband's life.

You, Dr Tereschenko,

must put aside whatever grievance you may have with Frieda.

Because right now, we need her help.

Petrenko.

-Oh, great.

-Oh, hey, Frieda, it's nice to see you, too.

-How've you been? Having a good Christmas?

-Who the hell is next?

Henrik Hanssen is going to show up and order some varenyky dumplings? What are you doing here?

-Elliot called me.

-OK. And you came? To Kiev?

Ah. Because it's full of skinny women

and men in even shinier suits than you.

-Hey, let's cut the wisecracks.

-Uh-huh.

-What's going on here, Frieda?

You disappear off the face of the Earth

and wind up waiting tables in a cafe in Kiev?

-Will you leave me alone now?

-Hey, I'm not asking for much.

You don't know what you're asking me.

Yes, I do. I'm asking you to translate stuff. Big wow.

You're not listening to me.

-What is the big deal?

-I can't go back there.

-Where?

-To the hospital, I cannot go back there.

Why not? What is it with you and Nadiya?

-What is she, an ex-lover or something?

-Please, don't.

What could you possibly have done that is so bad?

-You really want to know?

-Yeah.

-I killed their daughter.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Da.

I'm so sorry. The post office had no record of the parcel.

Or they did, but Ukrainian Customs got to it first.

I've tried calling the British Embassy,

but it's Christmas Day, so...

I'm so sorry.

In your country, when an old woman breaks her hip,

the procedure is simple.

She receives an artificial hip.

Here, we have this.

And if I can't find the right size,

I make it the right size.

I have to work with what I have.

The situation is not ideal, but I have no choice.

I can't operate without a bypass machine.

It is not vital, you said.

It could be.

My husband could live. But because you are scared...

I have done everything I can to help your husband,

even though you've lied to me, even though you're doing everything you can

to obstruct Misha's treatment.

I am not obstructing.

Then why don't you want Frieda Petrenko to help?

I have my reasons.

What? What possible reasons could you have?

Frieda was my best friend.

She was like a little sister to me.

My daughter, Katya, was born with the same condition as her father.

One night, Frieda was the junior doctor on duty.

Me and Lev had gone home to get some sleep.

That was the night Katya died.

When we got back here... Frieda has just...gone.

She didn't even try to say sorry. Or explain to us.

-She didn't even care enough to...

-That's not fair.

The way she speaks about Lev, it's clear that she...she does care.

Does she?

If it wasn't for Frieda, I wouldn't be here.

Thank you, Mr Hope...

..but I need to get on.

Chrissie told me what happened last night.

What did she tell you for?

-I was here. Babysitting Mini-Me.

-Right.

If I'd humiliated myself that comprehensively, I'd think about switching hemispheres too.

What do you mean, switch hemispheres?

I thought she would have told you.

She's going to Australia? Today?

She said she was thinking about quitting and starting again. I told her it was a good idea.

-What did you tell her that for?

-Because it is.

If nothing else, to stop you mooning around after her.

She's taking my child to the other side of the world

and you don't see why I might not be too thrilled about the idea?

Just give it a couple of weeks and she'll be back.

What if it isn't just a couple of weeks?

What if she doesn't come back?

You all remember Mr Fortune? Back by popular demand from the ED.

Mr Fortune has superficial burns to the backs of his legs

-and his feet, smoke inhalation, and rib fractures.

-What the hell happened?

Decided to surprise the boys by playing Santa Claus.

He let himself in the house and hid up the chimney.

-You must be Mrs Fortune?

-I used to be.

I wanted to surprise them, give them a bit of Christmas magic.

Like you said, a grand gesture.

How was I to know she was going to light the fire?

So you put him up to all this.

-The boys are traumatised.

-Do you know what? Your ex-husband was at such a low ebb yesterday

he tried to jump off a bridge.

I was trying to stop him doing it again, trying to do something nice.

But I've learned my lesson. I see where being nice gets you.

Stomach's distended. Get him into theatre.

-You were a junior doctor, you should never have been left in charge.

-But I was.

And they trusted me.

And I failed them and I failed Katya.

So why'd you come back here?

My mother heard about Lev so she called me.

-I got on the first plane I could.

-And then?

I wrote a letter trying to explain why I ran away and...

eventually Nadiya replied. She and Lev did not want to see me.

So I wrote back with just two lines - Mr Hope's name

and his e-mail address.

And I promised I will not bother her again.

So why are you still here a month later?

How can I leave before I know he's better?

-Come with me. Please.

-Have you just heard a word I said?

-Just come to the hospital.

-I can't.

You know, I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of lately.

And I've caused a lot of people a lot of pain.

I need to help this kid.

I think you do too.

How's he doing?

He's going to be fine.

Thank you.

I don't know what he was thinking, what was he trying to prove?

What do you think he was trying to prove?

He was trying to tell you he still loves you.

-What?

-We're men. We find it easier to jump off a bridge

than to say "I love you."

We just stumble around in the dark,

hoping that once in a while we might say the right thing

or do the right thing or time things right so that...

Oh, my God.

-I am the biggest lunkhead in the universe.

-You've lost me.

Listen, it's patently obvious you still love your ex-husband

and he still loves you,

so please stop faffing and accept the fact, OK?

It is Christmas Day. He's the father of your children. Deal with it.

Cathexis!

What?

Ask him. I need the number for a cab!

Mr Hope?

So if the machine doesn't work...

..I make the machine work.

You haven't got any cabs for at least two hours? Two hours?!

Yes, I'm very well aware it's Christmas Day, thank you.

Have you got any numbers for taxi firms?

-Why would I?

-12 o'clock. Her flight's at 12 o'clock.

-A taxi'll never make it there on time.

-Great. That's it.

She disappears to the other side of the world and I just let her go.

Oh, for God's sake! You've been boring us all senseless - banging on

about how much you loved this woman since 1972, and if for no other reason than to shut you up,

I am going to make damn sure you get to that airport on time.

How exactly?

Ohh!

That was easily the most terrifying 40 minutes of my life.

You're wasting time.

Thank you.

Urgh! Get off me, you big idiot!

-Good luck.

-You too.

Sorry!

Ohh! So sorry! Sorry.

TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT

-Enjoy your flight, sir.

-Thank you.

TANNOY: This is a final call for flight 723 to Sydney.

Excuse me, I'm sorry. I wouldn't ordinarily do this, but the woman I love...

is about to disappear to Australia, possibly forever,

so I really need to buy a ticket to get on that plane to stop her,

so is there any way I could just jump ahead of you?

Clearly you speak no English at all.

Which is...great.

TANNOY: Boarding for flight 723 to Sydney is now closed.

Maybe I should call her!

Why didn't I think of that? Thank you.

'Hi, it's me... I just want to apologise for last night.

'You asked me what I love about you and I should have said...

'I love you because you're kind,

'because you're decent,

'because you're a grown-up.

'I love you because you're safe, but never boring.

'And in another place and another time, I think we could have made a wonderful family.

'I think we could have been happy.'

TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT

OK, here we go.

Deploying the valve.

OK.

Thank you, everyone.

Just need to put a stitch in the wound and we're home.

SHE SPEAK RUSSIAN

BLEEPING

He's fibrillating.

Paddles. Paddles!

Defribrillator!

Get me Frieda!

BLEEPING GETS FASTER

DRILLING

He needs you.

What are you talking about? I need her in here, can't do this on my own.

Take over.

-What about lignocaine?

-He's had 100 mg.

Nothing's working.

Right, I'm going to have to put him on bypass.

BLEEPING CONTINUES

-Let's put him on bypass, please.

-SHE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

BLEEPING SLOWS AND STOPS

BLEEPING STARTS AGAIN

-Nothing.

-We'll have to do it by hand.

SHE SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN

One rotation in five, counting.

One, two, three, four, five.

You're a good cowboy.

Go check on your husband.

BLEEPING CONTINUES

Steady, pull it there.

OK, let's ease off altogether.

BLEEPING STOPS

By the time you get this, you and Daniel will be in Sydney, but I just wanted to say...

Of course I love you. I always have.

You know that. But I'm Sacha Levy.

And what I do is I mess things up.

I trip over, I put my foot in my mouth, I'm always in the wrong place at the wrong time...

Anyway... What I want to say is...

do whatever you have to do.

Do whatever makes you happy.

Because that's all I've ever wanted for you. And it still is.

< Turn around.

You're in Sydney.

Apparently not.

See you later, partner.

THEY LAUGH

Have I died or is this really happening?

Merry Christmas...

Knucklehead.

Come here!

Warms the cockles of your heart, doesn't it?

Mr Hanssen, I had no idea you were in the building.

You assumed I'd be elsewhere enacting some arcane Swedish Yuletide tradition?

I don't like to make assumptions about anyone.

Least of all you.

Well, I trust you left some porridge out for Jultomten?

Naturally.

Merry Christmas, Mr Hanssen.

And to you, Mr Hemmingway.

Thank you.

I'm guessing you asked every other plastic surgeon in Europe before you got to me, right?

-Of course!

-THEY LAUGH

Hey, I'm not complaining, I got a great pair of pyjamas out of it!

-Happy Christmas.

-You too.

Ah!

Dr Petrenko, care for some vodka?

What better way to celebrate the birth of our Saviour than with 40% pure alcohol!

I don't suppose there's any possible way I could persuade you to return to Holby, Dr Petrenko?

What would be the point? Mr Spence is no longer there.

Ahh! I don't know.

I think maybe I should take that tall Swede a big slice of humble pie

and see if he's still got

a place for a shiny-suited cowboy.

Want to see if he's still got a place for a Ukrainian emo with an attitude problem?

Why don't we talk about it over dinner?

Dinner?

I tried to persuade her that was a very bad idea but my mother said she would not speak to me

again if I did not bring the two of you back for a traditional Ukrainian Christmas dinner.

Well, it would be rather ungracious of us to decline, wouldn't it, Michael?

Yes, I think it would.

Lead on, Dr Petrenko.

By the way, Elliot, you know you snore?

And how do you know this?

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