With Jonny at her throat, Mo is forced to face the consequences of her actions. But as the pressure builds, will she stick to her guns? Chrissie's secrets are mounting.
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Just remember what I said, yeah? Don't make any rash decisions.
I've already lost one child on your watch,
I'm not going to lose another child.
Just have to find Hattie a donor.
And what are the chances of that?
The girl on AAU, she's a match for Hattie.
It's all about what's right for her now, isn't it?
No-one cares about my daughter. She's just a piece of meat to you.
-Get my daughter out of there NOW.
It's too late, we're past the cut-off point.
No, that can't be right.
I think I can justify a tiny lie
if it means giving a young girl a second chance at life.
-I know it's been traumatic...
-I just need some time to think.
Where you going to go?
I rang my dad.
I'm going to go and visit.
That's it. You're doing brilliantly.
C'mon, darling. Just a few more steps.
-You're doing it, love. You're doing it.
So, how are things in Monny land?
It's a contraction of Mo and Jonny.
Like "Brangelina" or "Jedward". Rachel tells me it's all the rage.
I'm aware of the convention. I just don't think it applies here.
Well, you know you've got "Sedward" on Keller - Serena and Edward.
"Monny" on Darwin.
And "Chracha" on AAU? Or would that be "Sissie"?
You heard anything?
Well, I've spoken to Daniel and he seems happy.
I know she's back next week, so...
Jonny. I've got to go.
-Say hello to "Shelliot" for me.
See what I did?
Hi, it's me.
Can you meet me in the creche? I need to see you.
She collapsed after four steps of physio.
She can't make five yards and you say there's nothing wrong?
Hattie's had a heart transplant, OK?
Possibly the most major surgery there is.
That means there's a lot of adjusting to do. It doesn't mean there's anything medically wrong.
Her immune system's been lowered.
She may have picked up a cold, the effects of which...
-Would be negligible.
-How can you know that?
It's what I do. You'll just have to trust me.
I do trust you, Mo. It's just...
How can you be sure the same thing isn't happening again,
that her body's not rejecting the heart?
Laura, I know you're scared, but these are the facts -
we did a biopsy, at your request, two days ago.
There's no signs of rejection. No signs of post-op infection.
Every indication is that the heart is taking,
and will continue to do so.
Now, Nurse Maconie, want to find her something to eat?
I looked it up. Most successful transplants are home after a week.
It's been two. I understand there's nothing medically wrong.
So, why isn't she improving?
I hear you took four steps today. That's progress, at least.
Did they tell you I fell flat on my face?
We all fall, sweetheart. The important bit is to get up again.
-I don't feel right.
Maybe not. But you are better.
How did she die? The girl whose heart I got.
You know I can't tell you that.
Anyway, It doesn't matter.
Bet it does to her.
All that mattered to her was that someone got her heart.
That was her legacy.
Unless it was meant for someone else. The right person.
The right match.
If you're worried about rejection, don't be.
-You were the right match.
-You can't be sure.
-I can be certain.
Were you certain about Ben? How'd that work out?
Your brother suffered hyperacute rejection.
It happened literally minutes after transplant.
One thing I can be certain is that Ben never got the chance
to be afraid of a little physio.
A little hard work.
He never made it that far.
We're going to need FBCs, U&Es.
Stop. It's my brother you should be worrying about.
He's lost all feeling in his left leg. He's disabled.
I prefer the term "mobility challenged" myself.
What caused it? Your "mobility challenge"?
Crushed nerves. He's lost all feeling in his leg.
-How long ago?
-Three years. Why?
That's not the cause of this swelling.
Right. Can you feel this?
Take it that's a yes.
But that's impossible.
Was your brother's leg injured in the car crash?
We weren't going that fast.
Right. We're going to book an urgent angiogram, please,
and we're going to need a GS consultant.
Can you get Mr Spence?
If you're going to say something, just say it.
OK, I'll say it. What the hell was that?
That was me doing my job. That thing I do quite well without you second-guessing me?
How can I second-guess you when I don't have
-the faintest idea what you're going to do next - or why?
-Ooh, you don't know who I am any more.
And you don't even feel bad about it. You'd do the whole thing again.
Too right I would. And, no, I don't feel bad about it.
Not any of it. Look, Hattie's scared,
it's halting her progress and someone needs to play the bad cop.
-As for that other thing...
-That other thing?
-It was the right thing to do.
-It was unethical.
Unethical? I wasn't about to waste two girls' lives
even if Nicole Moss was.
I don't consider that unethical.
And you expect us all to go along with that?
No. I expected you to have my back.
I expected you to understand that this was more important than
GMC bullet points on ethical behaviour.
-Even if it costs you your job?
-Even if it costs me mine?
Because I'd have appreciated being given the choice.
If you two are finished ending each other's careers,
Elliot wants to see you.
What does he want?
Nicole Moss is in with him.
Results of the angiogram.
Well, there's an arterial occlusion,
but no obvious causation.
Grab some porters.
Michael Spence can't come to us, we shall go to Keller.
So, have you told Sacha yet?
No, I haven't told anyone. Only you.
I found it three days ago. I jumped on the first plane home.
I didn't know what else to do.
Look, it's not any of my business but don't you think you should speak to Sacha?
No. Not yet. Not until I know what it is.
How bad is it?
Well, Dr Fenton owes me a few favours,
so she's going to book you in for an emergency mammogram.
All right. Thank you for everything.
Go on, you should go.
Mm-mm. I'm not going anywhere.
SHE HUMS RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES
Ride Of The Valkyries, am I right?
I love the smell of sanitizer in the morning.
Mr Griffin. Back from the US?
Yeah. Re-trained and refreshed and re-invigorated.
Just as you wished for.
And you've brought back a piece of Americana. How delightful.
I brought it especially for you.
"PD." Run into some trouble with the police?
It's revolutionary. The future of emergency medicine.
-Is that so?
-And perfect for AAU.
Sounds fascinating. We must talk about it some time.
Right now - bit busy. People to see - Harvard MBA dinners to prepare for.
Oh! The masters of business administration assemble.
That explains the posh frock.
It's hardly a frock.
I wouldn't have thought you'd have the time.
Word on the street is that Mr Hanssen has handed you
more executive control.
Oh, I wouldn't say control. More like...influence.
Just helping to keep things ship-shape.
He might appreciate how smoothly things are running.
Hello. Sacha Levy.
I think you have the wrong Daniel.
Mine is on the other side of the world.
Nicole? Why are you here?
To take Poppy to the funeral home.
She's still here?
There's been some issues with the funeral home.
Personal stuff. Details.
I didn't want her to travel alone.
..I've had some time - a lot of time - to...
..think about things. What happened, you know?
Reading about transplant procedures, cut-off points.
Just trying to make sense of it all, I guess.
And I don't want you to think I'm doubting you or anything like that.
I just need to get things straight in my head.
I need to be sure...
..that I had no choice.
OK. Here's what we're going to do.
-I'm going to let Nurse Maconie get back to his rounds.
Second, as lead surgeon I will make myself available for as long
as it takes to explain and answer whatever you need.
I am aware of the principles of primary defence, Ric,
I just don't want to talk about it now.
I've got other things on my mind.
Yeah, of course - the Harvard MBA dinner?
You know, I've never been - how do you go about getting an invite?
Usually by attending Harvard University.
Yes, of course.
I only went to Cambridge.
You wait all day for a consultant and two turn up at once.
Um, Lawrence Howards, referred by Mr Levy from AAU -
arterial occlusion, possibly complicated by a pre-existing injury.
Hang on. What do you mean, wait all day for a consultant? Where's Mr Spence?
Emergency call out.
He said to pass his list onto you.
Need some help?
Just to keep things running smoothly?
Ha-ha. What emergency call out?
Another 20 minutes.
You're up next. Another 20 minutes, 30 max.
Hm. I was just thinking, maybe I should call Dad
and let him know we arrived safely.
Oh! It's the creche.
Nurse Maconie, can you come?
I thought she was asleep but I can't wake her up.
Hattie? Hattie, can you hear me?
-Right, let's have 8 litres of oxygen. Increase fluids and let's start her on...
It's been disconnected.
In future, Mr Spence, I'd appreciate a little communication
before you decide that a mysterious emergency patient
requires your undivided attention for an entire day.
What are you doing?
Practising for the MBA dinner. I needed somewhere quiet and...
-Giving the keynote speech.
Harry Kaufmann dropped out at the last moment. We could share a taxi.
I don't think so. You, me, my plus one, Milly Molly Mandy.
Mindy. And she's not going.
We might just cramp each others' styles, don't you think?
Depends on who your plus one is.
Serena, there's a couple of things on this angiogram.
Oh. Sorry. I didn't realise you were busy.
Please don't mind me.
Edward, Ric Griffin - AAU clinical lead.
Ric, Edward - locum consultant anaesthetist.
-You must be Serena's ex-husband. Welcome to Holby.
I got the memo.
Are you going to carry that ridiculous cap around all day?
I told you - I got it for you.
-You know it?
-Know it? I spent three months in Cape Town
setting up a primary defence centre.
You were at Groote Schuur?
That's the model they're using in Chicago and in Boston.
Hello, Ric? Angiogram?
Oh, yeah. There's some shadowing.
Look, it'll be easier if you just take a look.
-You want to tag along? You might find it interesting.
Hi, I just got a phone call from the creche -
my son Daniel had an accident?
Oh, I think your husband's just over there.
He's fine. Just a little bump to the head, that's all.
I took him to the nurse for an ice-pack and some ice cream.
He just fell over.
Probably just a bit wibbly-wobbly from the jet lag.
..when did you get back?
We landed a couple of hours ago.
You haven't been home yet?
Can you come and see me?
After you've seen Daniel, of course.
-Yeah. I'll just do this and I'll be right over.
This is silly. You're so busy,
-Nicole, you said you had something to say?
-So, you've been doing some reading?
-About procedure. About what I saw.
It doesn't tally.
Nuts, I know.
I even asked Professor Hope if there was a video.
I've read they often record this type of surgery.
You asked for a video?
What did Professor Hope say?
He said he'd look into it,
but I got the sense he thought I was...losing it.
You're not losing it.
What you saw was something no mother should ever see.
That's why we have procedures in place.
You witnessed the beginnings of an operation that would, ultimately,
see your daughter's heart give someone else life and hope.
One day, you'll understand that and accept it.
There was no video of the operation.
Even if there was, I wouldn't show it to you.
It wouldn't help you. Wouldn't help anyone.
Sorry, you're needed back on the ward.
Are you finished here?
Not quite. Could you take Ms Moss to the mortuary?
Tell them they're free to release
her daughter's body to the funeral home.
Lay Poppy to rest. Find some peace.
OK. Bye. Bye.
It's my boss.
He wants you to go to work?
He needs me. Call centres don't run themselves, you know.
Oh, you...you work in a call centre?
Do I look like the spawn of Satan?
It's my gift.
Somehow, making clients feel OK about being put endlessly on hold
or being transferred to endless different departments.
How's Lawrence? Can I see him?
Katherine, it's you we're worried about.
Just a bit tired, I can cope.
Actually, you're not coping.
Just sit down for me, just for a second.
Now, your BP and heart rate are rising very rapidly.
This is your body's way of sending you a message.
We're going to run some tests.
Gemma, can we have a chest CT, echo and ECG, please? Thank you.
What if I haven't got time for that?
Just think of it as us putting you put on hold
while we transfer you between departments.
I'll be back in a bit, OK?
You mentioned a previous injury?
Nerves were crushed. Lost all feeling in the leg, apparently.
Until today? What changed?
Unless I'm gravely mistaken,
Mr Howards has had a bullet in his leg for the last three years.
Woah! Amazing! You've still got it.
On which note, I've got a speech to write. Very good to meet you, Ric.
Still got it? Infuriating man.
What's the speech?
What? Oh, nothing. Listen, I've got a favour to ask.
Would you draw up a theatre plan for Mr Howards?
It's just I've got to be out of here by five for that dinner,
and, as it turns out, I need to find a plus one.
-Left it a bit late.
-I know. And it can't just be anyone.
I need someone...
Someone suitably talented yet prestigious enough to
reflect your elevated status as a person of significance.
I don't suppose you...?
-Know anybody like that?
-That'd be free, that is.
None that went to Harvard.
So, bit of a surprise to get the call from the creche.
It was a snap decision to return.
I just needed to be home.
I just needed...
-I just wanted...
Yeah, I'll be there in one minute. Thank you, Michael.
Michael? I thought he was with some emergency patient.
Yes, he is.
..this friend...this old school friend...
..Sarah - she had some bad news three days ago.
So I've referred her to Michael.
Chrissie, that's terrible news.
Is there anything I can do?
No, but thank you.
Michael's dealing with it.
She's going for her scan now.
So I'd better...
Of course. Yeah, go.
You and me...we still need to talk, obviously.
Just call me when you're ready, OK?
Can you hear that?
I keep hearing an echo,
like we're in a tunnel, or underwater.
No. I don't hear that.
Must be in my head.
We're not sure.
Your line came out of your arm for maybe about an hour.
We're going to run some tests.
Is it serious?
Could be. We'll just have to see.
Maybe it's a sign.
Rejection? That it's not meant to be.
Why are you so determined that this isn't going to work?
I didn't expect this, you know. Didn't ask for it.
It all happened so fast.
Yep, well, it had to.
I know that. It's just...
I've got someone else's heart inside me. She died - some girl,
-It had to be someone. Why not you?
Maybe I don't deserve it.
I bought this for her three weeks ago.
Poppy'd been on at me for ages about it.
"25% off online."
She wanted to wear it, the day she...
The day of the accident. I said no.
That it was for special occasions only.
Well, she can wear it now.
I can give that to one of the technicians.
They'll pass it on to the funeral director if you want.
She's in there, somewhere, isn't she?
You must think I'm crazy. Am I?
We think that you're a mother who just lost her daughter.
I'm a mother who withdrew her consent.
Who wanted to stop another girl's life being saved.
That was your right. It's everyone's right.
It's why the system works the way it does.
The system, procedure. I'm drowning in it.
I know that what happened, how it happened...
..wasn't textbook, so to speak.
But something just keeps niggling at me.
-The cut-off point?
I can understand that.
It seems like a straightforward directive, but,
in detail, it's messy.
"Where consent has been given, that consent cannot be withdrawn
"once an incision has been made to remove the organ.
"This must be made clear to the person giving consent."
The thing is, I keep going over it in my mind,
and I can't remember seeing an incision.
I looked at Poppy, at my daughter,
and I can't remember seeing something that must have been there.
And I don't know whether I'm starting to lose it,
to...come apart at the seams.
-You were there with me.
You saw. Tell me.
I'm not looking to blame anyone. I just need to know.
Need to...get what I think I saw out of my head.
Jonathan, Serena Campbell. How's Kings? Good, good.
Listen, how are you fixed for tonight?
I've got a spare ticket for the Harvard...
Why are you laughing?
That's not how I remember it.
Scraping the bottom of a very deep barrel,
in what I can only imagine is an act of ritual self-humiliation.
Well, I hate to interrupt you. Lawrence Howards' theatre plan.
Mr Howards, we've identified the cause of your swelling,
and there is a surgical option.
You'll be pleased to hear we've discovered
the cause of your pre-existing injury.
Were you aware you had a bullet
lodged in your upper thigh?
Being shot is not something you forget.
Did someone forget to take it out?
It's just it's not mentioned in your patient records.
There is no record. I was in Thailand.
There was an...incident.
A stupid accident.
One that left you thinking you were crippled?
-What Mr Griffin means is that
your condition appears to be reversible.
The accident today has highlighted the fact that the bullet
has caused chronic infection and bleeding in the groin.
But we can take the bullet out, and do a graft...
What do you mean, reversible?
Well, you should be able to walk again.
This is a good thing, Mr Howards.
No. I don't want that.
-I don't want my condition reversed.
I don't want the bullet removed.
But we have to in order to stop the bleeding.
Are you saying you'd rather die than not be crippled?
I'm saying find another way. The bullet stays.
Ms Howards? What are you doing?
That's not exactly the appropriate food for someone with tachycardia.
It's not for me.
Let me guess - your brother?
He's got nurses to look after him now.
It's not a burden. I don't mind.
You work nights, look after your brother during the day.
I take it you don't have any home help?
When do you sleep?
Sleep's for the weak.
What's she doing out of bed?
Running errands for her brother.
Come on, don't tell me you haven't thought it.
Dependency issues, or what?
Maybe he's genuinely in need of help.
I wasn't talking about him.
Her echo results.
Laura, how much does Hattie remember of Ben?
What, of his illness?
That too, but I meant in general.
Um, well, she was ten when he...
when he died.
I tried to protect her from the details.
She doesn't talk about him much any more. She did adore him, though.
She probably doesn't remember that, but...
The young tend to forget.
But you kept his memory alive, yeah?
Well, of course I did. He was my son.
It's not like I kept a shrine to him or anything.
Why, what's this about?
It's just something Hattie said, about not deserving the heart.
Why would she say that, or even think it?
I don't know.
But as you know, this process is incredibly complicated.
You think she pulled that line out herself?
That is practically suicidal.
She might not realise...
She won't, because she didn't do it. Mo, you have got a lot of nerve!
Trying to cover up for your staff.
My daughter's a heart recipient, not a head case!
At this rate, you'll take my place
as most hated doctor on the ward by tea time.
I think she disconnected that line herself.
I take it the mother didn't agree with your psych profile.
No. But she might agree with someone else's.
There's signs of supraventricular tachycardia,
but you don't need a CT scan.
Have you done a tox screen?
What would I be looking for?
Amphetamines. Coke, Speed. Whatever.
There's no way Ms Howards is a drug user.
She's got the heart of an angel.
She's got the heart of a crack head, Sacha.
Beta blockers and 12 steps is what she needs,
not a cuddle and a cup of tea!
I only found out because the creche rang looking for her.
When I asked Daniel where Mummy was, he said, "With Uncle Michael."
Yeah! Isn't that funny?
Isn't it a bit weird? You know, that she came back
without telling you, to see Michael?
Why would she do that?
Oh, turns out an old school friend of hers is very sick.
She referred her to Michael, jumped on the first plane home.
What's with the flyers?
It's a fund-raiser for Rachel. Quiz night in Albie's.
Although now Chrissie's back, I'm thinking I might make it karaoke.
This is going to sound crazy,
but it's how I won her over first time round.
So, maybe if she sees...
Stop! Sacha, just stop.
I saw her. I saw them together.
The morning she left, he drove her in.
She'd stayed with him.
Why didn't you tell me this before?
Mo. Why didn't you tell me this before?
I didn't want to hurt you.
But now you do?
Now you're willing to hurt me?
OK, I think I've got my beginning.
How lovely for you. We're busy.
Bullet man? He seems straightforward enough.
He's grown rather attached to the bullet.
I imagine he has, given it's in his leg.
It's more of a sentimental attachment.
Give it to him in a jar, like a kidney stone, or something.
He won't actually let us take it out.
Does it matter?
I guess not.
Then...work round it.
What do you think we're trying to do? It's not that simple.
We can't access the femoral without touching it.
We can't work in such a confined space.
Anaesthetics. All theory, no finesse.
I meant work round the problem - take the bullet out, fix the problem, then...
Then put the bullet back?
Genius, huh? Surgeons. All manual labour, no big picture.
Well, it would be genius.
It would also land us with a huge lawsuit.
We can't place a foreign body inside him, even if he says he wants it.
Well, don't put it back, then. Just tell him it's still inside him.
-How's he going to know any different?
-A little thing called an X-ray.
Give him an old one. Or any one - he doesn't know what to look for.
Hattie, our tests have come back, and they're conclusive.
There's no signs of rejection. No signs of anything wrong at all.
But what about the symptoms?
The fatigue, breathlessness, flutters? All of it?
That's a very good question.
I'd like to introduce Dr Sharon Kozinsky.
She'd like to have a talk with you.
Chat, really. Nothing more than that.
-This and that. Nothing too heavy.
And the possibility that Hattie's symptoms are psychosomatic.
Thank you, Ms Effanga, I'll take it from here.
You think my daughter has psychological problems?
No-one is saying that.
Well, she did.
She almost as good as accused Hattie of tearing her own line out.
Did she? I wasn't aware of that.
I'm not having this. I'd rather take her out of here than...
Actually, why don't all of you leave me and Hattie in peace?
Remind me that you and I need to have a little chat later.
Well, that was all a bit awkward, wasn't it?
Tox screen results.
Who would have thought it, eh?
I'll keep an eye out for her next time I'm at a rave.
It's not what you think. It's allenol.
-Allenol? Got ADHD, have you?
I've got a mortgage to pay and a sibling that pretty much needs constant care.
And the only way I can pay for it is by working nights.
It keeps me going.
Katherine, it is killing you. You have to find a better way.
-Sorting your brother out would be a start.
-He needs me.
He's refusing to let surgeons fix his mobility problem.
-They are saying they can reverse it. He's saying no.
-Why? Why would he do that?
I don't know. You tell me.
He must be scared. He mustn't understand.
Do you know what? I think he understands perfectly.
He's so dependent on you -
so dependent on the life you provide -
that he's willing to stay a cripple than change a single thing.
Now, I have written you a prescription for some beta blockers.
You're discharged and you're free to go and do...
whatever it is you do.
She pulled her line out, Jonny. I know she did.
I had good reasons. For everything.
They weren't worth it.
Whatever your reasons. However good, they were not worth it.
Did something happen with Nicole?
She apologised to me...
..for being a monster -
for, erm, withdrawing consent.
Then she asked...
She begged me to tell her what I'd seen in that theatre.
-Because she's going out of her mind.
-What did you say?
I looked her dead in the eye and I lied to her.
Because I love you. Because of everything we've had.
But I'm done.
Look, I didn't ask for this. Any of it.
Laura came to me. Not once - twice.
She came to me - I didn't seek her out.
She asked me to save her children's lives and I tried.
I didn't ask for Poppy to die.
I didn't ask for Sacha to alert us to the possible organ.
I didn't ask for you to break procedure by speaking to a donor mother.
Didn't ask for the donor mother to come to theatre!
I didn't ask for any of it. But I dealt with it.
Focused on saving Hattie's life because I couldn't save Ben's.
And what thanks do I get? What support?
From you? From Laura, Sacha?
Questions, accusations, second-guessing.
A bloody birthday card. I didn't ask for any of this!
-What birthday card?
You said you got a birthday card. It's not your...
What's going on, Mo?
Serena, would you mind terribly
if I referenced meeting you at Harvard as part of my finale?
-Who's your plus one?
-Well, I won't mention our Harvard...
experiences if it's going to make things awkward.
It won't make things awkward
because you won't be mentioning me in your speech at all.
-Is that clear?
-And you don't have to tell me who your plus one is. It's none of my business.
It's just I got the weirdest message from Jonathan Waters.
You know - from King's... In fact, didn't you date him...?
-Wonderful. We'll have a blast.
-Mr Griffin wants to see you.
There's a problem with Mr Howards.
You want what?
I want an assurance that you won't remove the bullet from my leg.
And I want it in writing.
OK. I've just about had enough of this.
Mr Howards, you may have noticed a growing tightness in your leg.
That is because it is slowly filling with blood.
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
Sooner or later, the pressure will rip open your femoral artery.
Do you understand?
Find another way.
There isn't another way. Not a safe one.
Then try the unsafe one then!
You're refusing treatment? Why?
I don't want things to change.
I cook for you. I clean for you. I clothe you.
I work myself into the ground just to provide for you.
Tell me - what exactly do I get out of this?
What kind of a life do you think this is for me?
The only life you have.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, Sacha, hey.
Chrissie? Um, yeah, good, I think...
And her friend?
Sarah, right. Well, she's...having her tests.
I think it's all going well, you know. She's...brave.
If you're looking for Chrissie...
Er, no, I was actually looking for you.
-Yeah. I just wanted to thank you,
for looking after Chrissie's friend.
Taking the day, pushing stuff through.
Yeah, well, Chrissie asked, so...
Well, I'll see you around.
I got a message to meet you.
Nurse Maconie, thank you for coming.
And thank you for your patience.
What I've got to say is as much to Nurse Maconie as it is to you.
Ms Moss, we've talked a bit about procedures,
but the fact is, the system doesn't actually work effectively.
The whole notion of opting in...
I've been a transplant registrar for seven years now.
Transplants save lives,
but the system stops the supply.
Even worse, it means families who are grieving
have to make terrible choices,
like turning off a switch.
That doesn't justify the fact that I misled you.
I wanted to give you some context.
It's not an excuse.
I misled you, and I compromised my colleagues and my department.
And for that, I'm sorry. Truly sorry.
Yes. I'm sor...
-Leave it, Mo!
Outside that room, with her body lying there, you lied.
Nicole, please, stop.
Who do I speak to?
Serena Campbell. It's Keller Ward.
Jonny, you didn't deserve that. I'm so sor...
Yeah, I did.
And we both deserve whatever's coming next.
How do I look?
About two minutes away from being fired.
-Come on, don't be like that.
OK. I'm sorry. I just thought...
I'm looking forward to this evening, for both of us.
If I've overstepped...
Truth is, I haven't even thought about this dinner
until Elinor talked to me about it the other night.
How you were networking... What?
No. I can't...
-I can't do this.
This. You being in my space.
We have boundaries, Edward.
For years, we've worked in different places, seen different friends,
lived different lives.
And we never, ever, talk about Elinor, except on education,
health and trust fund.
Those are the rules.
And yet, in the space of, oh, what, two weeks?
You're in my office, like you own it.
You're in my social life, like you're the centre of it.
And talking about our daughter as if she was your best friend.
You're right. You're right.
If you don't want me to go tonight, I won't.
I don't want you to go tonight.
What's the complaint?
The aspiration revealed a discoloured fluid.
There were some red cells,
but also discohesive cells that had random polarity,
high-grade nuclear atypia, absence of any myoepithelial cells.
Bottom line, Michael. Please.
We need to do a Trucut.
There's still a chance this isn't...
but you should start to prepare yourself. Emotionally.
You're going to need people. Support. Emotionally.
You're going to need your family.
Ms Effanga tells me you've been hearing echoes,
like you're underwater? Want to tell me about that?
Why? Is it a psychological thing?
Don't know, probably not. Still, humour me.
It's been bad the last couple of weeks.
-Louder? So it was there before?
For how long? A month, two months?
I don't know - six months. Does it matter?
When I was your age, I used to get these...panic attacks.
Hard to believe, I know.
But it led to me being interested in psychiatry,
so - silver linings and all that.
You think I'm having panic attacks?
I think you're feeling overwhelmed.
Two weeks ago, you found out you were dying...
..just like your brother.
Then you were saved,
only to find that someone else had died to save you.
I'd find that pretty overwhelming.
It wasn't an accident, you know.
Yes, I'd guessed that. Hard to get accidentally shot in the derriere.
What was it? Carjacking? Robbery gone wrong?
It was his fiancee. His mail-order bride.
Fell in love over the internet, or thought he had.
Spent a fortune and everything. Can you believe that?
He flew out to Chiang Mai to bring her home
and found out it was all a scam.
And she...shot him?
Rifle. He wouldn't take no for an answer.
You are terrible.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
It's been one of those days.
He's just so shy, so awkward with people.
When he met this girl
and she seemed to like him, it was a blessing - I encouraged it.
You can't take the blame for other people's choices.
No. But I can take responsibility for my own.
Look, I'm in my 40s, no relationship, dead-end job,
no real chance of having a family of my own.
It was easier looking after him.
Living for him.
You deserve better.
We both do.
-Ms Moss is extremely angry.
And if these charges are true, she has every right to be.
-As do your colleagues.
The charges are true. I did it.
I lied about the cut-off point.
It was me and me alone. I take full responsibility.
Just trying to save a girl's life.
I'm not sure I even succeeded at that.
It wasn't worth it.
Look, I'll do everything I can,
but if she goes ahead with a formal complaint...
I understand. Thanks.
I'm feeling overwhelmed. So what?
What does that have to do with feeling sick?
Being barely able to walk a few steps without collapsing,
Interesting word. Is that how you feel? "Wrong"?
It's just a word.
Your notes say that you're taking citalopram.
Why are you taking anti-depressants, Hattie?
You know. You must if it's on the notes.
I had an abortion. So what?
When did this happen? Was it six months ago?
Round the time you started hearing echoes?
Feeling like you were underwater?
You're not wrong to feel what you're feeling.
You've done nothing to be ashamed about.
You're just a kid who has been through more than most could handle.
Edward, it's me. Look, go to the dinner,
I've no right to tell you not to.
It's just as much your history as mine.
I doubt I will be able to go anyway,
which is probably best for both of us.
Everything else I said still stands.
We're taking Lawrence Howards into theatre now.
We're taking out that bullet, patching his leg
and sending him on his way.
What if he sues?
He's welcome to try.
I'm sorry about being angry before.
It's OK. I knew you'd understand.
Yeah, I understand.
To do what?
The decision about the surgery is totally down to you.
But I want a life. My life. It's been three years.
I've given enough to you.
So, whatever choice you make, when you come back -
if you come back - I want you to move out.
Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do?
Get a life. That's what I intend to do.
Mr Howards, we're taking you into theatre now.
We are removing the bullet and fixing your leg.
Feel free not to use it, and feel free to sue me.
That's the stuff, you're doing beautifully.
I'm sorry. You were right.
You don't have to be sorry for anything.
Nicole, you really can't be here.
That's the girl?
Nicole, this is Hattie. Hattie, this is Nicole Moss...
Thank you. I can't thank you, and your daughter...
Poppy. Her name was Poppy.
No. It's my mess.
I know I said earlier that the system's flawed. And it is.
But it's there for a reason -
to stop this, what you're going through.
I broke the rules. I'm so sorry.
-I don't expect you to forgive me.
-Is she going to live? That girl?
-Did it work?
-Yeah, it did.
I'm so sorry you had to see that.
I can't imagine what you're feeling.
You know what I couldn't stop thinking?
That this is what Poppy wanted. This is what she wanted.
And looking at her...
..it was all worth it.
I'm so sorry.
Got something for you.
Souvenir. One bullet.
I suppose you've heard the story?
Yeah, there's a pretty good grapevine round here.
I don't understand. Why on Earth wouldn't you want to walk again?
Nothing to walk for.
It's a big world out there, Mr Howards.
Not a world I want any part of.
It's easier that way.
Easier to...opt out.
I don't believe in giving up.
I haven't given up.
Some wounds never heal.
I miss "Monny".
Us. It's a contraction of Mo and Jonny.
I'm familiar with the convention, I've just never heard you use it.
Yeah, it was Sacha's idea.
I know it's a bit lame, but...
We're still us. We're still "Monny".
Nope. We're not.
Look, if this is about today...
It's not about today.
It's "Jac" now. Jonny and Jac.
"Janny!" You see - it all fits.
We're not even together.
Just checking - Hattie OK?
More than OK. Thank you.
It's my job.
Speaking of which, do you and I need to talk?
Nah. I'm good.
What on Earth are you doing?
Don't worry about it, Serena, it's called looking cool.
You look ridiculous.
Primary defence is a good idea, Serena.
OK. I'll look into it.
Well, if you hurry, you can still catch the end of Edward's speech.
Yes, I'd need to be very drunk to enjoy that.
I have a confession to make.
I told Edward you were my plus one.
Yes, I know. He told me.
He congratulated me - told me what a lucky guy I was.
Oh, dear. Sorry. What did you say?
I played along.
I figured it was the right thing to do under the circumstances.
Well, that was incredibly gallant of you, Ric.
Though part of you must be enjoying every moment of my humiliation.
Yes. Quite a large part, actually.
Edward must be some sort of guy to make a woman
as formidable as you act in such crazy way as you did today.
Oh, yes. He's that all right.
He's like a scab that never quite heals.
To old wounds.
Mr Griffin, would you do me the honour of accompanying me to a dinner?
It's not a trap.
It's not a date, is it?
All right, I better get my frock.
You're not happy.
No. Please, can we talk in here?
I lied to you...
..about Daniel, and that was wrong.
But we haven't been good for a long while now. Have we?
When was the last time that we were really happy?
At the same time, I mean.
I love you,
and I think you love me too...
I can't give you what you need.
I can't make you happy.
And if you're not, then I can't be.
I'm going to collect Daniel from the creche. I'm going to take him home.
And then when you get home,
I'm going to pack a bag and go and stay at Mum's.
Are you leaving me?
It's the only way it'll work. For us. For Daniel.
We deserve so much better, Chrissie. All of us.
OK, I just need to...
Listen, just take your time, OK? I'll be with Daniel.
How is she?
Is she going to be OK?
I hope so.
Yeah, me too.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
When Mo is made to face the consequences of her actions, she starts to question if she has made the right choices. As the pressure builds from all sides, will she stick to her guns?
As Chrissie faces her latest scan, who will she lean on for support? And can she and Sacha find the courage to tell each other the truth?
When Serena finds out that Edward is attending the same high flyers medical dinner as her, she is desperate to find a plus one, but where on earth will she find someone to agree to go with her?