Hospital drama. Bernie is forced to question what she really wants when her future at Holby is put in doubt. A former flame of Ollie's turns up on Darwin.
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-Welcome to Holby, Major.
-Your reputation is formidable.
-Why did you leave?
-Why did YOU?
-To save my marriage.
I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a really long time,
so either give him a chance or back off.
The CT scan's clear? It's going to be OK?
I owe you an apology.
You mean you're not the power-crazed megalomaniac that I took you for?
Maybe we're more alike than you think.
Wow. That's impressive.
I should get stuck in theatre all night more often.
Er, excuse me? Who said any of this was for you?
-I'm working with Jac today
and I thought that I'd butter her up with a few pastries.
Hmm, well, that's a very good try
but we both know that Nosferatu doesn't eat.
Fine, I took pity on you for having a double shift.
I'm a pathetic, 1950s housewife-type person.
Well, you should learn to get your priorities straight, woman.
Tell me you're at least going to have a nap before rounds?
Doubtful. Might be able to slope off a little early, though,
if you fancy catching up on what you missed out on?
Hmm, love to...
..but I don't know how long this surgery's going to go on for.
-You could give me a key.
I could let myself in when I'm done?
Yes. Metal object...
..designed to allow access to a select few?
Probably just best if you rang the bell.
I'm very light sleeper and I'll definitely wake up, so...
Double shot latte, quick as you can, please.
Do you remember when coffee was just coffee?
Strong and hot is all I care about on a day like today.
-I've got RTCs and broken bones coming out of my ears.
What I wouldn't give for a couple of calm shifts on Keller.
How are you finding the quieter life, by the way?
Oh, it's, erm...
It's a relief.
Oh, thanks. Right, one must dash.
And you didn't see me - I'd have an F1's guts for garters
if they couldn't get through a heavy shift without caffeine.
PHONE RINGS Sorry.
Shift starts in one minute and counting.
Try not to panic.
-Well, don't just stand there - get a cricothyrotomy kit.
One, two... SHE GAGS
Give me your jacket.
The dangers of eating your breakfast too quickly, eh?
Right, you're not going to make a cut in the skin first?
This is how we do it in the great outdoors.
Bracing, isn't it?
Women don't usually ask their boyfriends for a key
to their flat without some ulterior motive, do they?
Erm, ulterior motive like what?
I don't know.
Like wanting a key to their flat?
Oh, wow, how did you crack that code?
You know what? Forget I said anything.
Look, OK, I'm sorry. I get it.
You've got the fear.
It's all fun and games when it's romantic breakfasts
in the staffroom - thanks for sharing by the way -
but the minute she wants to take it to the next level...
I'm not some pathetic commitment-phobe,
-if that's what you're getting at.
-Course you're not.
I'm serious about Zosia.
She just took me by surprise, that's all.
-See? Wasn't that hard, was it?
You admitting how you really feel about her.
Look, if blokes did that all the time,
half the arguments in the world would just vanish.
Just talk to her, you plum!
Well, if that doesn't get your first day back off to a flying start, nothing will.
Er, actually I'm more just looking forward to just getting back
into the swing of things on Keller.
Taking time with patients, the usual elective procedures...
Each to his own, I suppose.
Mo just called to say your impromptu patient's doing very well.
She said your cricothyrotomy was the best she's ever seen,
given the circumstances.
Doesn't matter the circumstances, medicine's always the same.
Well, I hope this isn't too much of a come-down.
It's follow-up bloods for our elective mastectomy patient.
She's here with her sister.
Just to say, she seems a bit nervous about the whole thing.
Of course she is, every patient's nervous before surgery.
Absolutely. I'm just saying, in my experience,
a bit of hand-holding might not go amiss.
Thanks for the tip.
Bad news from Mr Griffin, I'm afraid.
He's been drafted in last-minute to give a lecture in Sheffield.
He hopes to be back tomorrow,
but in the meantime, somebody will have to step into the breach.
Tough task, stepping into Ric's shoes.
-Well, the admin alone is...
-I'll do it.
After my coffee shop triumph,
keeping this lot in check should be a piece of cake.
You don't mind, do you? Great, that's settled then.
Adele, I keep hoping that one day you'll grasp exactly
what it is I need from you.
I'm sorry, have I done something wrong?
Leave all this donkey work to someone else.
You and I have bigger fish to fry.
OK, but you know when you say "donkey work",
you just mean nursing, right?
Look, the Neuro Centre has been going great guns since
we moved to Darwin. I know that, Hanssen knows that, you know that.
But does the world know it?
Right, if this is leading to me in a shopping centre somewhere
handing out leaflets, then...
We need further investments to keep the Neuro Centre up and running.
I have some potentials but we need to demonstrate
what we've done in the past and what we hope to do in the future.
We need to blow their socks off.
How can you not? The work you've been doing is second to none.
Yes, I know, which is why I need my recent patients' records
to be compiled in order and edited into an easily readable format.
You up to the task?
Yeah, I mean I'll have to step back from my nursing duties
for a shift or two but...
Whatever it takes.
Well, leave it with me, boss.
I'll make sure we all look good.
Leave the looking good to me. Just don't drop the ball.
OK, so we'll be doing a bilateral mastectomy
and reconstruction at the same time.
Much more efficient than going back into theatre after the mastectomy.
Doesn't she have a choice about the type of reconstruction she has?
Yes, of course. But Lorna has decided to have...
Yeah, we can move some fat up from the abdomen or we can swing
some muscle round from the back or we could do a traditional implant,
which I understand is what Lorna has decided.
Much more straightforward.
And how long should we expect the operation to take?
Stop bugging her, Jan.
Sorry. She can't help...
-..being a nightmare.
Have you given any thought to an ovariectomy?
I mean, obviously, my GP mentioned it, but we just both thought
that was something to be tackled further down the line.
Or at least it can be.
Some women with the BRCA1 gene choose to have
the preventative surgeries in stages.
Still, while you're here, why not get the whole picture?
I'm sure one of our colleagues in Gynaecology
would be happy to take you through the procedure.
Can't we just focus on the mastectomy for now?
What's your family history again?
We lost our auntie to breast cancer
and our mum and our grandma to ovarian.
And you have children?
I've got a little girl. She's three.
No dad in the picture.
We bring her up together - Mummy and the sad spinster aunt.
Well, you don't want to take any risks, then.
Would you ask one of our consultant gynaes to join us before theatre?
Oh, Dr Wolfe, thank you.
It's, erm...it's Ms, not Dr.
Good, well, I'll see you in theatre.
You don't think a softly-softly approach
-would have yielded better...
-Ah, some of my young recruits up ahead,
looking in distinct need of guidance. See you in theatre.
I've barely slept a wink all night.
Seriously, I was like, where's my life going?
How can I possibly drop off when Arthur's socks are piled up
like a dirty bomb in the corner?
And then... Well, I literally saw a sign.
I present to you your brand-new housemate.
I didn't know you were looking for a place.
Yeah, things went sour a few weeks back in the old place.
Well, I'm sure you could stay at Arthur's.
He wouldn't kick you out if you were stuck.
Cara, rushing in a relationship is the worst thing you can do.
When we move in with one another I want it to be special.
Well, I guess it would make sense,
living with somebody who understands the unsocial hours.
-We could vent at each other!
There'd be wine and complaining and chocolate - it'd be amazing!
Why don't we give ourselves a day to think about it?
I've actually got a few interviews set up with non-work people
and I can't exactly cancel last minute.
Reba McIntosh - RTC. Query a broken arm.
You poor thing.
Any double vision?
I was only going as far as the post office.
Silly to get in a fender bender going round the corner.
Let me guess. Sagittarius?
Close - I'm an Aries.
So not actually that close then.
Regardless, I sense a big change on the horizon for you.
I've been writing horoscopes for the last 20 years.
I've never been proven wrong yet.
I think the "proven" is probably the keyword there, isn't it?
Right. So let's get this arm X-rayed then.
-SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
And this is the last foetal echo.
You can see the narrowing of the baby's left ventricle right there.
-When's the patient due to arrive?
-Any minute now.
Gynae have agreed to join us in surgery once the patient's prepped.
Fine. If you don't screw anything up before then,
I've no objection to you assisting.
What was it like doing foetal surgery in Sweden?
Exactly the same as here. Just colder.
Tell me you saved her a Danish at least.
No, that was all for you.
And it got weird. Sorry.
Well, yes, all because I asked you to loan me a spare key.
Easily spooked, aren't we?
Not usually, no.
Wow. So, just when I suggest a tiny, baby step towards commitment?
That's good to know.
"Not usually" as in I'm not easily spooked...
Look, I don't know what came over me.
I've been up all night.
As long as you promise that if you ever do get freaked out,
if you think things are moving too fast or whatever, just talk to me?
Dr March, I think this is one of yours?
Ah, Jac's valvuloplasty patient.
I better give her the full VIP treatment.
Everything all right?
Yeah. Why wouldn't they be? Course.
Right, you two, follow me.
We have ten patients on the ward,
all expecting to be taken into theatre without overrunning.
Can anyone tell me the last time that actually happened?
-90% of patients are seen...
-No, I'm talking 100%.
No-one bumped, no-one told to go home and come back again the following day.
-I think we'd have to look at the stats.
I'd say that doesn't happen very often.
Well, guess what?
It's going to happen today.
Divide the list in two, take half each.
Whoever gets all their patients into theatre,
gets to assist me on a very exciting case.
What exciting case?
Whatever case I choose, Dr Copeland,
will make your heart beat a little faster, I promise you.
OK, is that best practice? It's just, you know, aren't we in danger
of treating the patients like statistics rather than, you know,
-I'm in charge of the ward today.
Do you want to impress me or don't you?
I'll give you three seconds to score a pity win
before I give in to my base competitiveness.
-Right, may the best man win.
-That'll be me, then.
Oh, come on, Dr Digby. You're up to the challenge.
I've absolutely no doubt.
She's so active.
Hard to believe there's something wrong with her.
Foetuses with this condition can behave normally in the womb.
I just mean, how can she need such complicated surgery?
Wouldn't it be safer to just wait until after she's born?
Well, the stress of birth could put more strain on her heart
so doing surgery now will give her the best possible chance.
I never see myself as a maternal type.
Ten whisky cokes and a broken condom later
and she's all I can think about.
My mum put you up to this?
She's been begging me to take them out since I was 14.
Say the word and I'll kick your little girlfriend off the case
-and let you assist.
No - that's not what I...
Why would you even do that?
I have to watch you making lovey-dovey eyes
at the spawn of Self day in, day out.
If you were me, you'd try and rip your happiness to shreds too.
It's intrauterine surgery. Sure you can't be tempted?
Well, I couldn't even if I wanted to...
Nothing. Forget I said anything, OK?
It just wouldn't be appropriate.
Spit it out, Oliver.
You can't put me on that case because...
I might be the baby's father.
How about we bring in identical types of electives on the same day?
That way, surgeons can streamline operations,
drastically reducing the risk of post-op complications.
Sounds like revolutionary talk to me. Does Mr Griffin know about this?
No, but I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see I've put my stamp on things.
What do you say? Shall we shake things up a little?
I'm game if you are.
By the time Ric gets back, he might not recognise this place.
Order and discipline - get those two straight,
everything else falls into place.
-I'm concerned about Lorna Wallace.
Because she seems torn whether she should have this surgery or not.
Do you mean the surgery she's requested and already consented to?
-She has the BRCA gene.
Without surgery, she has a 60 to 90% chance of developing cancer.
Why would she wait?
Because there are emotional factors to consider.
Well, she has to keep a steady nerve.
You're not suggesting we encourage her to wait?
I'm suggesting that you talk to her.
If you think she's certain, then that's great,
but if not, then maybe we should reconsider.
Lorna Wallace is scheduled for surgery in an hour.
If you have a problem with that,
feel free to step away from the case.
I'm just saying, sticky fingerprints
over cupboard doors is not a good look.
What can I say? Kids will be kids. I'll have a word.
Don't blame the kids for this. It's not them that drinks the milk
and doesn't put it back in the fridge.
My mum always said, a mind this sharp shouldn't be wasted with housework.
Does she say that while she was cleaning up after you?
I saw your sign. Why don't you take Fletch and I'll keep the kids?
Yeah, Morven's actually already got her eye on the room.
I reckon she'd arm-wrestle him for it if she thought he was a threat.
Well, be careful what you're getting yourself into.
It's easier to cope with a nightmare flatmate when they don't follow you into work.
He loves me really.
Is there anyone you'd like me to call?
You mean the dad?
He's not on the scene. Never really was, actually.
One-night stands are all fun and games until they're not, right?
Oh, dear. It's awkward, isn't it?
Do you mind? I'm busy.
I bet. Girlfriend and dirty little secret on the same ward.
Not to mention potential father-in-law.
That'll keep you busy.
-You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Just get it sorted.
Yes, thank you.
It's a fairly simple break,
but a bit of expert plastering and we should get Reba home in no time.
Morven, actually, I've been thinking about our whole moving in
situation and, erm...
do you not think it might be a bit much?
Living and working together?
Maybe you should just keep looking?
I'm sure you'll find somebody you'd much rather live with than me.
Yeah, sure. I mean, it was just an idea anyway.
We'll get that arm X-rayed and then you can be on your way...
Is it over?
And it went very well and you'll be back on your feet in no time.
Well, there's going to be some swelling for a time and obviously,
reconstruction means we can't... LORNA CRIES
Preventative surgery beats chemotherapy any day, believe me.
I wasn't ready.
Well, as I say, the surgery went very well and...
Oh, Lorna, this is Mr Rhodes from Gynaecology.
You think it's that simple, don't you?
You didn't even check if I was sure, you just went ahead without even...
I think it might be better if you came back later.
I wanted to talk things through.
Talk about how I was feeling
and instead you talked at me,
like this was just another procedure,
like it wasn't happening to a real person.
I am genuinely sorry if you feel that way.
Everything all right over here?
Yes, I think Miss Wallace has a few questions.
Perhaps you could deal with them?
How did you know I was here?
We didn't even exchange numbers, how did you..?
I didn't. I work here.
I probably didn't mention I was a doctor, did I?
What a mess.
Yep, tell me about it.
I've had six months to get my headgear round it
and I'm still nowhere near.
So, it definitely...
If you hadn't walked in, I wouldn't have tried tracking you down.
It's my decision to keep the baby.
And, no, I'm not after a payday.
Yes, that's not top of my worry list, funnily enough. Look...
Ah, this is a strange one.
I'm sorry to ask. Would you mind keeping this between us?
You are so busted.
Do not be charmed by this man.
I'm assisting Jac on this today. We don't need any more help, thank you.
Yes, I was just leaving.
Wow. You doctors get pretty territorial over your patients.
I'm just kidding around. What's the point in working with your boyfriend
if you can't pull his leg every now and again?
There you are. Thank you very much.
Right Mr Spade's appendicectomy is done,
he is out of anaesthetics and resting in discharged
so I believe that makes it all even.
OK, this isn't entirely fair.
So, two of my patients have had complications while you have been
purposefully stealing the simpler cases all morning.
I'm insulted that you'd think I'd do that.
Expedience and efficiency.
Dig deep - you've got what it takes.
-Quite the pep talk.
Softly-softly might work for you and Ric
and a lot of the others around here but it's just not me, I'm afraid.
It's gone beyond a stylistic difference, I'm afraid.
She's alleging that you pushed her into consenting for the surgery
and she's made an official complaint.
Can anyone tell me why there's no rubber band
holding these files together as usual?
We think our patient might be eating them.
All right, Mr Judgey.
It's not that uncommon in patients with pica, actually.
Nah, you're going to have to refresh my memory on that one.
Basically, it's an uncontrollable desire to eat items
of no nutritional value.
In fact, elastic bands are one of the less weird things
sufferers have been known to scoff.
Just make sure that all Holby property is back
before it goes through her digestive system, OK?
Patients with pica can be pretty sensitive.
Tread carefully - make sure you've got all your facts
straight before you go accusing her of anything.
Looks like we're going to have to keep a close eye on her.
Fancy playing Secret Squirrel?
This is a bit awkward as I don't want to raise a touchy subject...
I feel a but coming on.
Ideally, we'd like to do some genetic testing
to see why the baby's left ventricle has been narrowed.
Do you need my permission or...?
Well, for accurate results we'd need to test the blood of both parents.
You and the father.
Yeah. See? I told you it'd be awkward.
Actually, it's not.
Not any more.
I've, erm...just found out the dad works at this hospital, so...
I in no way forced or cajoled or did anything of the sort.
The surgery was elective, for heaven's sake!
It's the only reason she's here.
I can vouch for Ms Wolfe.
There was no undue pressure, not so far as I can see.
And yet the patient seems to think differently.
It is true, I did get the impression that Miss Wallace
was having doubts about the surgery.
I suggested that we talked to her a bit more and...
And I didn't see the need. I had a patient in need of surgery,
a signed consent form in my hand. It's my job is to fix people, yes?
Should this go any further I may need to speak to you again.
Just because there seems to be little basis for a formal complaint,
doesn't mean you've no case to answer.
I don't follow.
Keller is a unique animal.
It doesn't suit everyone.
It might be that your talents would be better placed elsewhere.
Are you saying I might be of more use on AAU?
I know Holby might not seem
like a natural fit for me,
but this is where I want to be.
By all means, prove this is where you belong.
If you can.
If it makes any difference,
I didn't see this coming any more than you did.
When did it happen?
Well, months ago, obviously.
Before we were together.
It's stupid. I don't know the last time I did something like this -
go out and...
If I'd known it was going to come back and bite me like this,
-I'd have thought twice.
-What 'it' are you talking about?
The woman you slept with or the baby you've created?
Don't make this about me treating women badly because I don't
-and you know that.
-I know that whatever way you cut this,
you don't come out smelling of roses, Ollie.
What are you going to do?
I don't know. Beg, if I have to. What do you need me to do?
Not about me. About Melissa, about your baby.
Well, I mean...
If you dare tell me you haven't thought about that...
Be fair, I've only had this dropped on me in the last five minutes.
How much thought could I have given?
In a few hours, Jac and I are going to take Melissa, your...
the mother of your child into theatre.
Your baby's going to have surgery today.
Does that mean anything to you?
Melissa is a woman I don't know.
Our baby is...
..a concept I've never even considered.
-Honestly, the only thing that matters to me
right now is that I'm standing here with the woman I love.
I'm standing here and I can see, if you're hurt,
you've got every right to be, but I just want things to be right
between us, Zosia, please.
Look, I know that you weren't expecting this, but it's happened.
The Ollie I knew wouldn't be down here.
He'd be up there taking responsibility.
Now, until you make that right, what hope is there for us?
Ms Wallace. Hi. Remember me?
I did what you and your sister requested.
I know you think it was the right thing to do,
so why do I find myself the subject of a complaint?
Lorna's... Well, she's young, she's upset.
-I'll make sure this doesn't go too far.
-It's already gone too far.
I'm under scrutiny and my job is on the line.
But Mr Hanssen said he didn't believe there'd been any wrongdoing.
A complaint has been made and it has to be investigated.
Could you at least talk to Lorna?
Get her to withdraw the complaint?
So you don't think you're in the wrong even a tiny bit?
It would have only taken five minutes of your time
to make her feel better and none of this would have happened.
She knows the mastectomy was the right thing to do, deep down,
-SHE GROANS IN PAIN
She just needed some reassurance that everything was going to be
all right. That you weren't going to rush into a...
..into a hysterectomy.
Where's the pain?
It's just a twinge. Period pain.
No, I really don't think it is.
So, it's not a payday that you're after but you're trying
to ruin my life in any other way that you can, is that it?
No, of course not.
It just came out.
She was talking about doing genetic tests on my baby.
I'm about to go into theatre.
This is just a little bit stressful in case you can't work that...
What is it? What's happening?
Jac, some help, please.
I don't care what you're doing - put it down and come with me.
Do you think she's on the phone to her rubber band dealer?
Sorry. That was a bad joke.
Um, this is kind of awkward but...
I sort of have somewhere to be.
The flatmate interviews?
I'll keep a close eye on her and report back.
Nothing gets past me.
This isn't the first time you've had symptoms.
And we're not talking twinges, either.
There was some pain. A bit of bloating, maybe.
My sister's just had a bilateral mastectomy,
what's a bit of discomfort compared to that?
It could be a bowel obstruction but I'd like to get an abdominal
and pelvis CT to be sure. Get a proper look at the area.
Is that really necessary?
See when they can squeeze us in, and sooner rather than later.
-If it's a bowel obstruction...
We'll treat it as conservatively as possible
but if things are advanced, you might need surgery.
And if it's something else?
It could have been a loose wire or the baby could have moved
and muffled the heartbeat for a while.
I really thought...
I thought our baby was going to...
We'll be back to take you to theatre when we can.
Sorry, didn't mean to...
-It's just the shock, you know.
Should be me apologising to you.
I had no right to kick off at you like that.
I've got a big mouth.
Well, today's been a shock.
A big one, if I'm honest.
But I am here for you - whatever you need.
And the little one, too.
I thought I was so unlucky to get pregnant.
But of all the blokes I've ever met,
for it to end up happening with you...
That's not so unlucky after all, is it?
Look, I'll be back, OK?
Just hang tight.
You're at least talking to the mother of your child, I see?
I said I'd be there for whatever either of them need.
That's what you wanted from me, isn't it?
Did I not mention the bit where I've got a really busy ward to run?
I know but can you just wait with me until he turns up.
Look I've never lived with a fella before.
What if he's an axe-murderer?
Good point. I'll wait till your mystery man arrives.
But do you know what, for my money, you're better off
getting a flatmate that you already know.
Has Morven got to you?
She might have had a word a little word in my shell, like.
Look, I love Morven to death but something tells me
we're better off as colleagues than living together.
And my instincts tell me
this guy is going to be the perfect flatmate.
Yeah, your instincts suck.
It's not a bowel obstruction, then?
No, it is,
but the obstruction's being caused by a nasty ovarian mass.
It could be benign.
I mean, she did test negative for the BRCA1 gene.
Let's get a TV ultrasound as quickly as possible.
I had some really important files, I put them down
and now they're missing. They must have slipped down or something.
Sorry, Adele, not now.
Mr Self needs them, he trusted me.
OK, this is as far as I go, I'm afraid.
Will you wait for me outside? Just in case?
Of course, yes. Whatever you need.
OK, thank you.
I'm afraid your scans have shown that your bowel obstruction
is being caused by an ovarian mass
which is highly likely to be malignant.
If biopsies prove this to be the case,
my recommended treatment would be an ovariectomy
and a radical hysterectomy to clear everything out.
Sorry - what?
The scans have suggested that the mass...
You're saying that it's ovarian cancer?
-You're saying I have what Mum had?
Janet, it's too early to say for sure.
What are you doing in bed?
What's wrong with her?
No, we can't be certain. Not yet.
But I don't understand.
The genetic tests... You were clear.
Just because someone doesn't carry the BRCA1 gene,
doesn't mean that they're immune from disease.
Well, that's ridiculous.
Our family history, what happened to Mum...
and you're saying this is a coincidence?
I am sorry.
I know you need more time to process this, but time isn't on our side.
Write it down. Write everything down if it helps.
But don't wait.
I need to make some calls.
..about what I did - the complaint.
You didn't deserve that.
No, I didn't.
But it's Mr Hanssen who needs convincing.
Is there a bleed?
I should call Ollie.
That's not necessary.
Don't worry, I can keep a secret.
Mind if I join you?
I'm guessing you've had one of those days, too?
Do you have a family?
Er, well, if you count a grown-up daughter who only ever rings
when she wants something, an unfortunate ex-husband
and a lovely but rather challenging nephew,
then, yes, I have a family.
I took this job to save my marriage.
Well, at least try to do the whole work/life balance thing.
Why not take the easy road and try curing cancer?
But I need to make a go of it.
I have to make a go of it, otherwise...
Otherwise everything will fall apart and it'll all be your fault?
Yeah, something like that.
It's silly to keep meeting up like this.
Next time you need a caffeine shot
and a chat, you should just call me.
Sorry to interrupt - you're wanted back on the ward.
Janet Wallace is refusing treatment.
So, why did this woman say she had to meet you outside?
Something about how going into cafes can be a hassle.
OK, well, I don't know what help I'll be,
considering I've lumbered myself with Fletch -
slob champion of the world.
Run. Run for your life.
Right, Janet, you have my attention.
This isn't about you, believe it or not.
No surgery. No chemo.
Not for at least a year.
By leaving your cancer untreated for a month
you'd be taking a hell of a gamble, but a year?
If you're going to take my womb and render me infertile,
a year's what I need.
You want to have a baby.
It's my last chance.
I've been planning on having IVF for years.
I've only just saved up enough money.
Janet, just because you tested negative for the faulty gene...
I didn't test negative because I didn't take the test.
I knew Lorna wouldn't have it unless I said I had too, so I lied.
I couldn't have lived with her risking her health.
Oh, but it's OK for you to risk yours?
Having a child means everything to me.
I won't give it up.
You can't have a child if you have ovarian cancer.
We wouldn't even be able to harvest your eggs -
the hormones would only serve to stimulate your tumour.
In your opinion.
No, I'm afraid that's a fact.
Any other doctor whose opinion you ask
will tell you exactly the same thing.
I've told you my decision.
Now, do whatever you have to do to make me stable enough to discharge,
but you won't cut me open.
Where are we up to?
Well, we need suction to remove the blood from around the baby's pericardium.
And quiet, please, if you don't mind.
A few more tests and we should be good to go.
OK, let's get you into theatre, ASAP.
I had Janet down as controlling and annoying, not suicidal.
Sorry, that wasn't very Keller of me, was it?
Well, let's not forget,
-I didn't have much more luck with her than you did.
I know you probably all think I've come in here like some bossy
sergeant major with no interest in fitting in...
No-one's thinking that.
Well, not many people are thinking that.
I need to earn my stripes.
Your clinical skills are second to none.
But my bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired, right?
The thing is, in my previous job,
there weren't many bedsides to worry about.
But this is a horse of a different colour, isn't it?
It's definitely a different horse, yes.
Thanks for that.
Getting Jac to bring me into theatre.
I can imagine she wasn't best pleased.
Well, it felt like the right thing to do at the time.
It's starting to feel real now, isn't it?
Seeing the baby on the ultrasound, hearing the heartbeat...
Some things are old cliches for a reason, I guess.
I hope you don't think that this means that we...
You don't have a clue what this means for either of us, Ollie.
And neither do I.
Just focus on what's important now.
The only thing that's passed her lips are crisps from the vending machine.
How are the flatmate interviews?
Oh, er, you know.
What did you ask the boys to do?
Well, I set them a challenge.
Clear every patient off the list and they win a prize.
And that was designed to encourage what?
Efficiency and focus, obviously.
-Which is why I had to follow up with Mr Brandon.
He came in with an infected ingrown toenail
but Dominic rushed through the pre-op checks so quickly
that he was worried he might have to amputate.
You know, Arthur's doing a lot better.
Yes, he's lagging quite far behind in the competition, I believe.
Here, we're not heroes who swoop in on the worst day of a person's life.
Often, we see patients who've lived with their conditions for years.
Treating them is like a conversation -
us and them, working together.
That way, we make sure they don't have to live
with their conditions for a day longer than necessary
and they feel like they've been listened to.
SHE SIGHS I get it.
I won't get Janet Wallace to listen to me...
..if I only engage with her cancer.
What's wrong? Is it the..?
The baby's fine.
The operation was a success.
There's every chance that she'll make it to full term.
Why do you sound angry?
Oh, I don't know.
Perhaps because, as I'm sure you're aware,
there's no way that I can be that baby's father.
You're wrong. She's yours. I know she is.
You're 26 weeks pregnant.
The dates don't add up.
By a few weeks.
These things are out all the time.
Yes, but a blood test isn't.
You and I - we're both blood group A. The baby is a B.
There is no chance that we could both be the parents.
Do you have any idea what you've put me through today?
Not to mention the people that I care about.
And for what?
Explain to me why you couldn't just tell the truth.
Because I wanted it to be true.
Look at me.
How many doctors do you think I meet in bars?
Ah, so it was just a payday.
I wanted a father for this baby.
A good father - someone who would love her, be there for her,
help give her a good life.
When you showed up, I just thought...
When I told the real dad, do you know what he did?
He laughed and then he put the phone down on me.
Please don't hate me.
You can't just kidnap me and push me off somewhere like some prisoner.
Actually, I'm a pretty big deal around here, I'm almost sure I could do anything I like.
-Take me back.
-Not going to happen.
If you think this is going to make me change my mind about the
treatment, then you really don't know who you're dealing with.
How many times do I have to say it?
-I am not having...
-Mr Rhodes is a fertility specialist.
There is a possibility that we could try to preserve your uterus
and that might give us some options.
Egg donation, for example.
I thought we might get further
if we started trying to work together to fix this.
Just no more talk of delaying treatment for a year.
It's pretty hard to be a mum if you're not around any more.
I'm not the father.
Are you sure?
I just want to curl up in a ball and wish today had never happened.
Why aren't you shouting this from the rooftops?
Isn't this what you wanted?
Are you disappointed?
There's not one word to describe how I'm feeling.
This woman walks into our lives, almost derails them...
Actually, it was my life she walked into.
You made it very clear from the beginning
that you weren't on my side.
-I just wanted you to be the best that you could be.
You just couldn't trust me to work out what that would be
Talk to you later, OK?
What is it?
Do you want me to be there when you tell her?
No, she needs to hear this from me.
Can you see where the rubber has bound together
and lodged in the stomach?
How could I be so stupid?
It's not stupid, it's a condition.
The paper I work for has offered me other jobs, better jobs.
But that would have meant having to go into an office,
surrounded by rubber bands all day.
It really is like an addiction.
Actually, although pica is an OCD condition,
it has been linked to mineral deficiencies.
It could be that something as simple as an iron supplement
can reduce your urges.
You mean, I'd stop wanting to eat rubber bands?
I wouldn't have to hide this from people any more?
I've had this since I was a child.
Not being able to tell people, it's been lonely.
You'd still need surgery.
But I'm not mad.
I can go out into the world and meet people. Men, even!
Is she always ten steps ahead of everyone else?
Yeah. It's a genius thing.
I'm afraid I have to cut this discussion short.
When we did the ultrasound of the ovarian mass,
we also looked at your womb, womb lining and peritoneum.
I'm sorry to say that the cancer is more advanced than we'd hoped.
Preserving your uterus simply isn't going to be possible.
We have to take everything and we have to do it now.
Call him back.
The baby's father.
I know he behaved terribly
and he doesn't get to make excuses for that...
Look, I don't know who this guy is or what he's about.
Maybe he'll never feel differently about the baby
but I do know, it only took me half a day to start to feel
that I could maybe, possibly be a dad.
Give him another chance.
He might surprise you.
It's awful - doing one of these on someone so young.
I bet you wish you were still off dealing with trauma patients somewhere.
This is trauma.
Make sure Mr Abbott's case is included in the study
for the investors.
Yeah, about that. Erm...
Oh, don't worry, you've got plenty of time.
The thing is, there might be a few case studies missing.
Erm, there was an emergency
and I must have put the files down and they've gone walkabout, somehow.
Yeah. Look, I'm really sorry, Mr Self.
Do you imagine for one moment that you were the only candidate
for this job, or even the best?
There are 100 nurses smarter and better qualified,
but I chose you.
Yeah, and I'm very grateful, you know that.
And yet, here you are, not only doing a poor job
but actively sabotaging me with your incompetence.
Get back to changing bedpans.
Maybe I should be reassessing
whether you're fit to work on Neuro at all.
I don't understand.
Why didn't she tell me about not being tested?
I mean, I knew that she wanted kids but I just assumed that...
I just assumed that she'd given up on the idea.
I get the feeling, once your sister gets her teeth into something,
she doesn't easily let go.
I've been where she is.
Feeling sorry for myself.
Blaming other people.
Thank you for withdrawing the complaint.
Well, I realise now just how much I'd needed someone or something,
anything, to blame.
But it wasn't your fault.
It's just bad luck.
It was just...
I'm going to let you break a very strict rule.
I should have known I'd never find anyone better than Morven.
She's sweet, she's kind...
-You know this is all your fault?
-Er, how's that?
All that moaning about you and Fletch.
Just because you two can't get on, doesn't mean we can't.
Me and Fletch are having a blast living together.
In fact, we're thinking about making it a permanent thing.
He drives me up the wall half the time but he does a mean fry-up,
and better the devil you know...
So, here's a list of cognitive behavioural therapists
who specialise in treating pica.
You could be on your way to a whole new life.
In more ways than one.
I looked online - turns out I'm not the only one
looking for somewhere to hang my hat.
Just be careful. There are a lot characters out there.
Morven, tell me you haven't found somewhere to live yet.
I'm really sorry.
It's all my fault - I got freaked out by Raf and Fletch
and I forgot how awesome you are.
I would be lucky to have you as a housemate
if you'll have me?
You're not a Star Trek fan, are you?
No. It's just me, a whole load of medical journals
and every HBO box set ever released.
Sounds like bliss.
Erm, the room is big enough to accommodate a full-size drum kit, isn't it?
She's kidding. She's kidding.
I said I didn't want to see anyone.
Yes, I'm afraid I ignored you.
I asked the baby-sitter to bring her in.
Before I had the genetic tests, you said, whatever happened,
we'd get through it together.
I'm not just getting over cancer, Lorna.
I know you think you'll never be a mum.
But you already are.
Ooh, good news.
Your new right-hand man has been selected
and awaits further instruction.
I mean, it's not shocking that I won but...
Hands down, I'd like to add.
He's being very magnanimous about it, aren't you?
Hasn't spent the last hour gloating.
Don't be a sore loser, Diggers.
The competition was a mistake.
It was my mistake.
What? There's still a prize, isn't there?
No prize, other than a promise from me
to try and remember the bigger picture,
which, as it turns out, extends somewhat beyond an efficiency drive.
Wonderful. Well, I'm glad I spent all day running round the ward
like my pants were on fire.
Drinks at Albie's?
We could call it team bonding.
Sounds good to me.
Well, it's not exactly double amputation or multiple skin grafts,
but, sure. OK, why not?
First round's on me. I'll see you later.
How's Melissa doing?
I know she's not my problem any more.
I guess I just couldn't walk away that easily.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard.
I should have known that you would've figured out the right
thing to do on your own.
Well, it's easy to act like I had it all under control
now I've been let off the hook. Look, none of this was your fault.
I was the one that went out, got drunk,
brought some random woman back to my...
Look, if that baby had been mine, it would have been on me.
Look, listen, after a one-night stand, always comes the regret.
Don't beat yourself up about it, we've all been there, trust me.
-OK, I'm just saying, that's not me, I'm not a one-night...
..stand... Look, I met Melissa...
I'd messed things up with you,
I thought you were going to clear off to New York with Seb,
and I lost it. I went out, I got drunk.
I wanted the anti-Zosia and that's exactly what I found.
Wow, I had no idea.
Don't ever think that I'm not serious or committed to you
because I am and I always have been - even before we were together.
Is this what I think it is?
You'll have to let me in, though, I've only got one.
You were right.
I know that sounds strange
because I'm the one who's usually right. Well, in my own head anyway.
Keller was a terrible fit for me.
If this is building up to your resignation...
You have to understand,
where I come from, the Sacha Levys of this world are a cautionary tale
about what happens when you give up on real medicine.
If I was on the operating table instead of over it,
there's only one man I'd call.
I took this job for my husband but I want to keep it for me.
And not just as a locum - if you and Keller will have me.
Well, you've certainly given me a lot to consider.
Grows on you, doesn't it?
OK, if anyone wants champagne or spirits or cocktails,
now is the time because I'm not buying.
I heard that.
I was joking.
So was I. Only the best for Team Keller.
Well, in that case, make mine a double, thank you very much.
Mind if I join in?
Not at all. But I'm telling you now we're not drinking coffee.
Doubles please, all round.
Bernie is forced to re-evaluate her doctoring ways when a patient makes a formal complaint against her. Can she change her army ways and adapt to Holby life before it's too late?
Ollie fights to save his relationship with Zosia when a former flame reappears in his life as a patient on Darwin. Can he do right by both women or will he lose Zosia in the process?
Cara wants to keep her personal and professional lives separate when it comes to her living arrangements but soon realises the errors of her ways.