I Do, I Do, I Do Holby City

-How many weeks are you?

-I'm 18 weeks tomorrow.

-18 weeks?

Who the hell ever heard of a female best man anyway?

It is not a thing.

I swear I will make his wedding the best day of his life.

-Elinor will be with us for the day, filming.

-Uni project.

24 hours in Holby City.

You might want to lay off the naughty salt around the ED lot.

They're pretty good at spotting that sort of thing.

Don't make the same mistake I did.

You end up watching the person you with love with someone else.

The father of your baby.

-I thought you didn't know the father.

-I see him every day.

We kissed, Mo, a week before I'm due to get married.

I can't be your best man.

You will still be there, though, won't you?

Wild horses wouldn't keep me away.

CAR RADIO: # ..so I won't waste my breath

# On how you left

# I won't cry no more

# I won't cry no more

# I won't cry no more

# I won't cry no more

# Since you walked out that door

# I won't cry no more

# Over you

SUDDEN BANG

HISSING

Oh...

That was your fault, that was.

Thank you, that'd be great. Bernie.

Aston Fraser, possible ruptured spleen.

Fell off his roof bringing down a flashing Santa.

Yeah, and he bought a nail gun in the sales.

New Year's resolution to be

more handy around the home. Not so handy now.

And I was worried the festive injuries were petering out.

Oh, no. 'Tis still the season.

-Ellie!

-Yeah, hi. Hi, Fletch. Happy New Year!

-Happy New Year.

-Oh, hello, darling.

I have been up all night.

I had so much material from my video session I wrote an article.

I thought maybe I could get some interest

-from the weekend supplements.

-How much coffee have you had?

Oh, ha! Yeah.

-So, can you take a look?

-Sorry, Ellie. Can I borrow your mum

-for a minute? I need a second opinion.

-This'll only take

-five minutes.

-Why don't you go and wait in the staffroom

and I'll come and find you, hm?

It's bananas in here today. And every other day. You know.

SHE SIGHS

Excuse me.

-Mr Hanssen?

-Ms Effanga. You're early.

-Aren't you in Sweden?

-No. I believe I'm here.

I have been asked to step in as best man.

-Just take those right down to the bottom, please.

-Really?

Mr Thompson and I have been members of the Holby Chess Club

for a number of years.

I believe we currently stand at 112 games to 104. In his favour.

He's a master of the Sicilian Defence.

Does he... Have you talked about me?

It's chess, Ms Effanga. Not a knitting circle.

Sorry, what are you wearing?

Ah. Yes. Well, the role of best man has numerous duties.

Choosing one's own attire is not one of them.

Right, so where is he, then?

In there, I think. If you'll excuse me, I must get on.

Stay calm. It's all right.

-It's all right, Mum, just try and stay calm.

-What's happening?

She's forgotten her inhaler. I'm going have to take her to hospital.

All right, Momma T, deep breaths, if you can.

SHE WHEEZES

Right, bring the car round.

Hang on, hang on.

Panic over.

Ah! It WAS in your bag! Oh, thank goodness.

For a minute there, I thought we were really in trouble. Thank you.

You all right?

Oh, sorry, Ellie. Your mum will be here in a minute.

Would you like a cup of tea or coffee, Elinor?

It's for staff only really, but you can have mine if you want.

No, thanks. You have it.

Did you write this?

Mm-hm.

It's good. It's really good.

You write really well.

You've made a mistake. Auntie Serena isn't Deputy CEO any more.

What? You're not Deputy CEO?

-Er...no.

-Since when?

Six months ago.

-Were you going to mention it?

-Well...

I've already sent this to about 20 different editors!

-You sent it off without showing me?

-There's nothing bad in it.

-That's not the point!

-Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?

I told them I had access to senior NHS management,

and that wasn't true.

So there goes my credibility and my shot at a career in journalism.

Thanks very much.

-Ellie, wait!

-I'm sorry, Auntie Serena. I didn't mean to upset her.

It's not your fault, Jason.

She is completely over-reacting.

-Am I?

-Yes! Yes, Ellie. Elinor. Elinor Elizabeth Campbell.

Do not walk away from me while I'm talking to you.

Don't talk to me like I'm a five-year-old!

Then don't behave like one! You've nobody to blame but yourself.

I would have thought you'd mention it if you'd changed your job.

I haven't "changed my job".

I've just stepped back from some managerial duties and I didn't

realise I had to run every single decision I made past you.

You don't tell me anything that's going on!

I was the last to hear about him moving in with you.

I was the last to know about your bizarre Sapphic mid-life crisis.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

She's not a lesbian. It's more complicated than that.

Can we just calm down? I'm sure we can fix this.

No, do you know what, forget it.

Clearly, you're too busy with your own life.

And I'm not part of that, so...

Jason. No, Jason!

Ellie.

Ellie!

-Hi, Jase.

-Hi, Mike. Can't stop.

We're having a bit of a domestic at the moment.

Ellie. I don't want you driving while you're upset and you've not

had any sleep. Come back inside.

-Just stop.

-Auntie Serena!

TYRES SQUEAL

Jason!

Jason! Jason.

Can we get some help here, please?!

Ta-da!

Wow.

This is all very Scandi-chic.

Oh, yes...yes.

This is Inga's idea of bringing a little bit of Sweden

to the occasion.

I feel like a right prat.

Nah, I think you look great.

So, where's Delwen?

Apparently, she didn't want to come and watch me make

"the biggest mistake of my life".

She said that? Oh, Derwood.

And the worst thing is that part of me thinks

she might have had a point.

What?

Oh... Nothing.

No, what did you mean by that?

I don't know. It really doesn't matter now, though, does it?

I mean, it's far, far too late to be having a bit of a wobble.

No. It's not.

It is, Mo. I mean, look!

Do you know what? If it was me,

I wouldn't want someone to be with me just because

I was having his child.

I'd want someone to be with me because he wanted to.

Because he loves me.

And if you're not 100% sure, you don't have to go through with this.

I do, though.

I can't be the man who jilted his pregnant bride at the altar.

I'm just not that person.

Right.

Better go and make sure the old cloudberry punch has chilled.

Derwood...

Seriously? Pretending to have an asthma attack?

Oh...

Don't look at me that way!

You don't want this wedding to go ahead any more than I do.

Well, I thought you'd be happy that he's finally settling down.

He's only going through with this because of the baby.

That's cos he's a decent bloke. You should be proud of him.

Well...

that was my last idea, so I suppose this is happening.

Come on. Let's get drunk.

I wish.

Well, you can attack the nibbles. I hope you like herring.

24-year-old male hit by a car,

GCS is eight, serious internal bleeding.

Let's get him intubated.

Full bloods, group and save,

cross-match ten units and get the rapid infuser ready.

FIDDLER PLAYS SLOW SONG

Derwood and Inga.

Hic!

Excuse me.

Today, your family and friends are here to witness your...

Hic! ..exchanging of the vows.

And to be sharing in the joy of this most...

Hic! ..happy occasion.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

I'm so sorry, please let me just...

Inga's cousin. Helga the Humanist.

Today, we are to be doing a traditional hand-fasting ceremony.

But before we... Hic!

Derwood, do something!

HE SCREAMS

SHE SCREAMS

Oh, no!

Derwood, the rings!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Derwood!

I love you, you clown.

I love you, I'm so sorry.

APPLAUSE

MACHINES BEEP RAPIDLY

Whoa.

Abdominal packs. Quickly. Lots of them. Don't open them.

-Ms Wolfe...

-Don't think about it, Dr Digby, just do your job.

I think we have it for the moment.

Will you be loyal to each other, in body, mind and spirit,

-forsaking all others from this day on?

-BOTH: We will.

And so the binding is made.

Sorry.

Will you be open and honest with each other,

keeping no secrets as you share your lives together?

BOTH: We will.

And so the binding is made.

Will you endeavour to be as a best friend to each other,

sharing in laughter, comforting in sorrow?

BOTH: We will.

The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords,

but by the promises you have made.

For, as always,

you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.

I'm just so happy for him.

APPLAUSE

Liver fracture.

This is bad.

We need to suture.

We can't suture that. It's almost impossible.

The key word there, Dr Digby, is "almost".

4-0 prolene on Teflon pledgets, please.

-See if you can get me a better view.

-Ms Wolfe...

Adjust the retractor, please.

I'm sorry, I'm going to have to let him bleed.

Are you ready?

Wait. Ms Wolfe... are you sure you want to do this?

If I don't, the patient will die.

"The patient?"

Jason. Our friend and colleague. Serena's nephew and surrogate son.

Does that make it any easier?

No.

No. No.

We can't lose him. We have to do this.

Do you understand?

Uh-huh.

Good. OK.

Saline, please.

Here we go.

BEEPING

Rapid infuser.

No, it's not holding. More prolene, please.

Pressure's falling.

FFP, platelets, blood one to one and run a TEG.

Saline.

Come on. Come on.

JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

-Did you see where Henry went?

-Who?

-The best man. Your boss.

-Oh! Henrik.

Yeah. He probably went ahead to make sure that everything's ready.

All right, dear. I'll see you at dinner.

Mum. Say something.

He's going to be OK, isn't he?

Mum, please.

Hi. I made tea. I go extra British in a crisis.

Thank you.

And I thought you should know, security have called the police.

What?

They'll just want to establish exactly what happened.

Make sure there was no malicious intent or that you weren't,

I don't know...drunk.

I'll leave you to it. Just give me a shout if you need anything.

-Thanks.

-Can I get some help out here, please?

I think he might have ruptured.

HE GROANS

Yep. OK, straight to theatre, please. Quick as possible.

-Mum?

-Can't wait, I'm afraid. Sorry.

OK, let's go.

-Mum!

-I'll be back as soon as I can.

Lib, it's Ellie.

Is my dad there?

Hi, can I get a cab from...

Ms Effanga?

I'll call you back.

What are you doing?

I...thought I heard a woodpecker.

Though they are, of course, insectivores

so this wouldn't really have proved much of a temptation to them.

Not hiding from Mr T's mum, by any chance?

-Are you leaving?

-Yeah, don't make a big deal of it.

And when he asks where you are?

He'll be enjoying his party. He won't even notice.

Oh, I very much doubt that.

Jac and Ollie are coming for the reception, so...

This isn't about making up numbers, Ms Effanga.

Look, I got dressed up.

I sat and watched him say his vows.

Please don't make me go back in there.

Well, I thought it was family and just close friends?

What are you complaining about? Everyone loves a good wedding.

Well, I don't. I don't see why I have to go.

Because Mo's our friend and she's asked us come.

There'll be dancing.

-Well, exactly.

-And a buffet.

-Great. Stale sausage rolls.

-Get in!

-Is it a free bar?

-I don't know. I doubt it.

-How much cash have you got? Check your wallet.

-No! Get off!

-Can you write up some fluids for Mr Hamidi and Mrs Hafley?

-Yep.

Mr Borowski needs some lactulose.

Can you check Mr Potter's potassium, and Mrs Emenike's bowel prep

for her colonoscopy, please?

Anything else?

Yeah. Ellie Campbell was technically in an RTC.

So, she needs clerking and examining.

Can't you do any of this?

If I could ask somebody else, I would, but, right now,

you're the only doctor on the ward.

Welcome to the deep end.

INGA SINGS IN SWEDISH

-Skal!

-Skal. Skal.

How many of those have you had?

Not nearly enough.

TAPPING ON GLASS

Ladies and gentlemen. Wasn't that beautiful?

Inga, thank you so much.

APPLAUSE

And now, last, but by no means least, the best man's speech!

Thank you. Thank you. Well, I shall try to keep this brief.

Hurrah!

Indeed.

Well, traditionally, the best man's speech is a very humorous affair,

full of stories about the bride and the groom.

But I don't think I can add very much, really, to what's already been

said and, I'm afraid, I don't know very many jokes.

However, I shall include one here for the sake of good order.

How does an orthopod refer to the heart?

The soft tissue organ for pumping cefuroxime around the body.

SILENCE

SHE LAUGHS

Well, that's one for the surgeons, perhaps.

They say the course of true love never runs smooth.

But when two souls find their mate, not time, nor circumstance,

nor...geography, it would seem, can stand in their way.

For something that is meant to be will always find a way...

..in the end.

So, to Mr and Mrs Thompson.

-ALL:

-Mr and Mrs Thompson!

APPLAUSE

Is he single?

What, Hanssen? Seriously?

He's so earnest.

He's like a Swedish Mr Darcy.

I bet I could put a smile on his face.

That's it. I'm cutting you off.

HE TAPS ON GLASS

Now, I know I said that was the last but there is something

that I would like to add, if that's all right.

-It seems perfect time to announce...

-No, no, Derwood...

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

..that we are having a baby!

We were going to wait until 12 weeks but we're nearly there,

so, there you go.

And, also, for the record,

we'd already booked the wedding before we'd found out, so...

She's got everything she wanted.

So why does she look like she's just been given a week to live?

Hormones?

I need to get you booked in.

I'm fine.

I know, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

Can I stay here?

Yeah, I don't see why not.

Roll your sleeve up for me.

I will let you know as soon as I hear anything

from theatre, all right?

Right, are you in any pain? Stomachache?

-Headache? Ribs?

-No.

Are you on any medication?

No.

Right, that is fine.

Have you taken any non-prescription or recreational drugs

-in the last 12 hours?

-No.

-It's all confidential.

-No.

Did you bang your head at any point?

I may have. I can't remember.

Any dizziness? Blurred vision?

No.

-Right, I'm just going to have a look your pupils?

-Why?

If something happened to you as well,

I don't think Ms Campbell would ever forgive me.

Sorry. You know what I mean.

I'm fine. Honestly.

All right.

Do you know when the police are going to get here?

No idea.

Is there somewhere I can put my bag? You know, so it's...

out of the way?

Er... You can leave it in our locker room.

There's a code on the door, so... it'll be safe.

Thanks.

Thought I saw you sneak off.

Drinking?

I didn't sneak off.

I stepped out for some air.

Baby hormones getting you down, huh?

Well, that's not going to help.

Oh! That's cold! Seriously, how can you put your feet in that?

I'm Swedish.

What, Swedes don't have nerve endings in their feet?

It's horrible, isn't it? The mood swings.

Then there's tiredness... nausea...sore boobs...

But it'll be worth it, though.

I mean, Derwood will be an amazing dad.

It's something he's wanted for a very long time.

You should go in there and talk to him about it. You know,

tell him how you're feeling. I bet he knows how to cheer you up.

I mean, pregnant hormonal women are his bread and butter, right?

I'm not pregnant. OK?

I made it up.

Are you happy now?

Excuse me. I'm looking for Ellie Campbell?

-Oh, er...

-I'm Liberty. I'm her step mum.

-Oh.

-Lib?

Oh, Ellie. Sweetie.

It's all right, babe, I'm here.

How's he doing?

We don't know yet.

That is Serena's Campbell's ex-husband's new wife.

Shut up!

He's just announced it to your whole family!

Now you know why I'm drinking.

What did you think was going to happen?

I don't know.

-I guess I didn't really think about it.

-Clearly.

I am not stupid, Mo.

I knew I was going to lose him... to you.

-What?

-Let's not pretend.

We both know that he's still in love with you.

He chose you.

He chose the baby.

The baby that doesn't exist.

I suppose I was hoping that... in time...

..he could learn to feel about me the way he feels about you.

You know, I could walk in there and tell him the truth right now.

But we both know you won't do that.

You care about him too much to hurt him like that.

Enjoy the rest of the party.

He's stable.

That was amazing.

I'm sorry, Ms Wolfe.

I let my emotions get the better of me.

Right, we can close.

Would you go and update Ms Campbell, please?

It's OK, I can close here if you'd like to go and tell her yourself.

Thank you.

OK. 3-0 Vicryl, please.

You poor lamb. I've spoken to your dad.

He's going to try and get an earlier flight back if he can.

He'll call you as soon as he's out of the conference. Obvs.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hi, sorry. The police are here.

Can you stay with me?

Course I will, babe.

You all right, Momma T?

I'm a little bit tipsy, dear.

Haven't seen my Mr Darcy, have you?

Yeah, just there with hiccupping Helga.

Another Swedish trollop.

Oh, I suppose he looks happy enough.

Maybe I'm being unfair.

Just because they've rushed into this like lions

to the roaring slaughter doesn't mean they can't make it work.

Look at me.

Do you think I look more like a Granny or a Grandma?

Or a Nan or a Nanny?

Inga's mum is going to be "Mormor", apparently.

It's Swedish, so I can take my pick.

Well, it's got to be Nanna T, right?

Nanna T! Of course!

I knew you'd know.

Well, at least whatever happens between those two,

we'll always have the baby.

I'm kitting out my spare room as a nursery.

Maybe you should hold off. You know, superstition.

My son is the best obstetrician in the south west.

That baby will come out as fit as a fiddle!

-What?

-Huh?

-What do you know?

-Nothing.

Oh, no. There's something wrong with the baby, isn't there?

What is it?

Look, it wouldn't matter to me, well, I'd love it just the same.

Oh, gosh...

Hm...I'm so sorry...

She...

What?

She's lied to him. She's lied to everyone.

She's not pregnant.

Momma T?

Do you need your inhaler?

A brandy.

Right.

A double.

'I was reaching for my seatbelt.'

I know I should have put it on before I started moving, but...

I was upset.

It all happened so fast. I turned round and he was just...

there. And then he wasn't.

And my mum was on the floor.

What was the argument about?

Oh, God!

-Oh, no.

-Oh, yes. This is awful.

-Right, here we go.

-Oh, no! Valentine!

-Ah! Strictly come Darwin!

-Ha! Congratulations, Mr T!

-Thank you very much!

-You look beautiful, Inga!

-Thank you, Ollie!

Valentine, if you don't let me go, I'm going to strangle you.

Oh, Mo! Help me!

Help!

Hey, it's all right. It's all done.

-Liberty.

-Serena! Any news on Jase?

Erm...yes.

There was quite a serious injury to his liver, but he's stable now.

He's really going to be OK?

Hmm. Well, livers are amazing organs.

Remember they can regenerate over time, so, yes the prognosis is good.

Thank you.

Oh, don't thank me. Thank Bernie. She saved him.

Where is she?

She took over my patient so I could come and be with you.

Well, I'd better go and get changed.

-Ooh! Where's the bar?

-Through there.

-Ms Effanga?

-Er...yeah?

Helga Nilsson. Sorry! Inga's cousin.

I was just talking to Henrik about my little problem

with the hiccupping and he's telling me to see a heart specialist

for possibly an arrhythmia.

I understand you are a heart specialist. Is that true?

That the hiccupping can mean a problem of the heart?

Well, sometimes. But it could also just be hiccups.

Perhaps you could just...

-OVER MIC:

-Hello? Hello? Is this thing working?

-Oh, gosh.

-Derwood?

Over here, Mum. What are you doing?

I have an announcement to make.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Your new wife

is a lying, conniving, manipulative, little hussy.

Ah. Hey, Mum. Why don't you come downstairs right now...

She's not pregnant!

She never was.

Lord knows what else she's lied to you about.

She's probably not even Swedish.

-She's taken you for a mug, my son. A mug!

-Give me that!

You're not pregnant?

You were...never pregnant?

I'm so sorry.

Derwood...

Don't follow me.

Derwood, wait!

Don't make me have to run after you!

(Oh, crikey!)

Here!

What did I miss?

Derwood! Stop! For crying out loud, I can't walk that fast!

Oh, gosh.

It's all right. It's all right. Come here.

-You need to go back in there and you need to talk to her.

-She lied, Mo.

I know...it's just some people they lie in the spur of the moment,

and then...and they kind of get trapped in it.

Why... How can you be on her side?

I'm not.

I mean...I mean, you're married now. It has to count for something?

You know we're not actually technically married

until we go to the registry office and sign on...on the papers.

What...?

It was a humanist ceremony. It's not legally binding.

Oh, thank God!

Forget everything I just said.

-What?

-I love you. And I know you love me, too.

Woody. I'm sorry.

I know I shouldn't have, but when Mo told me

that Inga had been lying to you, well, I had to say something.

What?

You knew?

I just found out. I wasn't gonna say anything, then your mum, she...

-You weren't going to tell me?

-No, I don't mean it like that...

You leave it, Mo. Leave it. You know what, you're as bad as she is.

Do you know, anything...anything that was between us, forget it.

-It's over, it's done with.

-Derwood!

-Just stay away from me!

Henry.

Oh, no, I hardly think I should interfere...

Oh, just go after him!

-Where's my daughter?

-She went to get her bag.

Ah, right, well!

Serena. I'm not trying to come between you.

You're her mother, and you always will be.

Well, thank you for that keen insight

into the immutable laws of genetics.

Eddy was right about you.

You just won't let your guard down, will you?

You know, if you'd just opened up a bit,

talked to Ells about what you were going through.

Going through?

With Bernie.

Coming out at your age can't have been easy.

At my age?

You know what I mean.

Well, I'll tell Elinor you said goodbye.

Tell her if she needs me, she only has to call.

Actually...you don't need to tell her. She already knows.

As quick as you can get here, please. Mo. Great, thanks.

If you give him a chance to calm down...

Oh, come on. He loves you. He always has.

You can work this out.

I don't think so. Not this time.

SHE WHEEZES

Nice try.

Go and be with your son and sort out his guests,

-I'm sure they'll be wondering what the hell's going on.

-Mo!

Please. I just want to be on my own.

Agh!

Oh. Oh, no.

Momma T? You still there?

Momma T?

And, of course, this would happen on my wedding day, wouldn't it?

Because I'm just the kind of pathetic joke of a man

that women always make a fool out of.

Oh, God! I'm so embarrassed!

Feel free to chip in with any words of comfort at any point you like.

When you stop feeling sorry for yourself, I shall.

Oh, I apologise!

Do you want to be happy?

Of course I do!

Well, then, for the sake of all our sanity,

please don't let this come between you.

She manipulated me!

What kind of a start to any marriage is that?

-I'm not talking about Inga.

-Oh, what?

You think I should go after Mo? She doesn't love me.

Not...not really anyway. Not the way that I...

She put your happiness before her own, I'd say that was a good start.

See, in the Battle of Ragnarok...

Oh, it's always the Battle of bloody Ragnarok with you, isn't it?

The love of your life just offered you her heart,

are you really going to say no?

She did, didn't she?

That's what it means. Smorgasbord. It's a buffet.

I don't think that's a direct translation.

Ugh...pickled herring.

And you were worried it'd be stale sausage rolls.

No. Go away.

-Shut up.

-Have you seen Mo?

-Mo? We thought she was with you?

-No!

She just called a cab. If you're quick...

Right.

Mo! Mo!

Woody!

I can't, I've had two glasses of that sodding cloudberry stuff.

Henry.

ENGINE STARTS

-BANGING ON CAR

-Go, go, go, Henry!

Henry, she's getting away. Flash the lights!

No, no! The lights!

HE HONKS HORN

Stop! Stop!

HORN HONKS

Stop, stop, stop!

Mo!

Oh. Er...

Ah, there you are. Erm, Liberty's gone home.

Oh, thank goodness.

Really?

Sometimes things just...get a bit...

Awks Town, babe?

Listen... I'm...

I'm sorry that I...I didn't talk to you about Bernie sooner.

The truth is you were the only one I was worried about telling.

Because what you think of me matters to me,

I mean, far more than anyone else.

-But if it was the other way around...

-Yes, but I'm your mother.

Isn't that exactly what used to annoy you about Nan? She never

told you stuff. Always treated you like you were her little girl.

You're absolutely right.

But I don't want us to have that kind of relationship.

Me neither.

How about a game?

We each say three things about ourselves that the other

doesn't know but one of them is a lie.

And we have to try and guess which one it is.

Go on, then.

Oh, OK. Erm...

Before I met your father,

I was briefly engaged to a Premier League footballer.

-Whaaat!

-Uh-huh.

Erm... I...

once shoplifted a pair of very expensive, very beautiful,

Jimmy Choos.

And then felt so guilty, I gave them to a...to a charity shop.

And...I was once arrested for disturbing the peace and

spent the night in a police cell in Margate.

I want all of them to be true!

OK, so, this says that the literal translation is actually

-"butter-goose-table".

-That makes no sense.

-Hm...

-Oh, speaking of which, I read your proposal. It's good.

-We should talk.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Uh-oh...

-It's coming.

-No, no, no. You're not doing this to me again.

MO GROANS

Why? Why me?

OK, so...so...how far apart are the contractions?

-SHE GROANS

-Right... I'll call the ambulance.

No, don't bother. William was quick last time,

one good sneeze and Mr T's gonna lose his security deposit.

OK, we'll find somewhere we can do this. Get Derwood.

Ow! That's my hair.

THEY BOTH GROAN

I swear to God, it's true.

I love that so much.

Your turn.

All right.

I...have a new piercing in a place that isn't immediately obvious.

No, you don't.

I...have £14,000 worth of credit card debt.

-Right.

-And...

I was also arrested, but Dad smoothed it over and paid

a big fine so I wouldn't have a criminal record.

-I don't want any of those to be true!

-Well, two of them are.

-Which two?

-That's not the game.

No, I'm not enjoying this any more.

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Jason's awake.

-Ah, good!

I'll catch you up.

Right.

Thank you.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm just...shattered.

Really?

I'm just going to the...

closet... The...water closet.

Derwood!

-She's gone.

-No. She hasn't.

-Hey, how's it all going? Everything all right?

-Yeah.

Oh, can you do me a favour and have a look at Ellie Campbell?

-I think she needs a set of neuro obs.

-Really?

Yeah, she seems drowsy and confused. She was talking about closets.

What, and that's just come on now?

Well, I've just noticed it now. It's been manic out here.

Well, welcome to AAU.

How about, "Well done, Jasmine, it's only your second week"?

OK, which bay is she in?

Erm, we can put her in bed four. I'll just go and get her.

Can I get some help in here, please?

Ellie? Can you hear me?

-What happened?

-I...I don't know, I just found her.

Pulse is weak.

Left pupil's blown. Get an intubation kit

and page a neurosurgeon.

And call CT. We're going to need a scan. Now, Dr Burrows!

Come on, Ellie, come on, don't do this.

If you ever decide to have another one, let me know,

-I'm going to make sure I'm out of the country.

-Mo.

-Derwood.

-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry!

I love you, I always have loved you.

And I love you, too... SHE WAILS

Oh, this is very, very touching but can you just please...

Of course. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Yep.

-Why did YOU get in the water?

-Oh, I don't know.

Now, Mo, I need to examine you.

-OK.

-Just lean forward OK?

And breathe through it. Well done, well done.

Right, this is happening, it's happening, right now.

OK. OK.

I'm here now. Look, I'm going to get you out of here,

it's not a controlled water environment.

-I did tell her that.

-You don't have to stay!

Good luck.

-I want to stay in here...

-Come on, Mo, come on.

SHE SCREAMS

Right, fine, good, we'll do it in here.

Right, Mum, can you find some latex gloves, please, and some

antibacterial hand gel?

Henrik, some towels. Yeah?

All right.

-Please don't leave me.

-I will never leave you.

-I love you.

-And I love you.

And I want to be there for you.

And I know this child is not mine,

-but I will raise it as my own, all right?

-Derwood...

-Yes?

SHE SCREAMS

You saved me, do you know that? You're a hero.

Is Ellie OK?

Oh, she's fine. It's you we've been worried about.

Well, actually, do you know, Jason, I was thinking of asking Ellie

if she'd like to move back home for a bit? What do you reckon?

I like Ellie.

Even though she did run me over.

DOOR OPENS

What?

Breathe, Mo! Breathe through it.

-It's the best I could do.

-Oh, for goodness' sake!

Come on.

-Thank you.

-Derwood.

It's all right. It's all right. I'm here.

I need to tell you something.

No, no, no, you save your energy now, Mo.

It's yours.

What?

The baby. It's yours.

It's my baby?

When did you two...?

Mum!

Oh, yes, of course. About nine months ago, I assume, ha!

SHE SCREAMS

It's all right, it's all right. I can feel the baby's head.

That's my baby! My baby's got a head!

BEEPING

SHE CRIES

-That's it Mo. That's it. One push...

-I am pushing!

Come on, big push. Big push now.

And the baby's out!

BABY CRIES

We've got a son.

I'm a nanna!

I'm Nanna T!

Erm...she suffered an extradural haemorrhage.

Scans indicate serious brain damage

and a...a serious prognosis.

She's on a ventilator in ITU. Ms Campbell is with her.

And I...I will keep you updated.

In the meantime, I think we should get back to our patients.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

Ms Wolfe, erm...

Do YOU have some support?

Hm?

I mean, try...trying to stay strong for someone else, all the time.

It's not good.

No-one should outlive their own child.

It's not the way things are meant to be.

No.

Look, if you ever need me...

Thank you, Dr Digby.

No corneal reflex.

No respiratory effort despite a CO2 of seven.

No oculovestibular reflex.

No gag reflex.

I'm sorry, I have to ask...

..is she on the organ donor register?

I don't know.

I'd have thought so.

You need to call Edward.

Oh, God!

All right, all right.

I'll get you some water, hm? All right.

To Mo and Mr T, and their beautiful baby boy.

About time.

Oh, we've got Henrik to thank for talking sense into my son.

If there's any way I can show my appreciation...

No, that won't be necessary, Mrs Thompson.

-Call me Birdie.

-No, thank you.

Derwood and Mo are welcome to each other, and their baby.

-Inga...

-Save it, Naylor.

-Inga, we were...

-You, too, pretty boy.

I don't need your pity.

Wow. I thought I was a bitch.

This is hands down the best wedding I've ever been to.

I am sorry I lied.

I know it makes me no better than Inga.

No, the difference is that you lied to give me a choice.

Inga lied to take the choice away.

So, you forgive me?

I love you, Mo. I can't help it.

Goodness knows I've tried.

I love you, too, Mr T.

So, do you have any names in mind?

No. Have you?

Hm... Ah... Well...

It's your decision, too.

Well, I...I always thought that if I ever had a boy,

that...erm...I'd name him Charleston.

-After my dad.

-Charleston.

Yeah...but, I mean it's not...

I love it.

Really?

Yeah.

Hello, baby Charlie.

CHARLIE SNEEZES

Bless you!

Charlie Effanga Thompson.