Paper Wishes Holby City

I'm Jasmin Burrows. Hi, sis. You might not have been abused, but you were scarred.

-I'm going to look after you.

-Look after me?

Fran, you're hurting me.

Tell me what happened!

Accident. She said she fell.

-Jac...

-I'm here, I'll save you.

-BEEPING

-Jasmine.

-Jasmine!

-LONG BEEP

No. Jasmine, please don't go. Jasmine!

"Approximately 36 hours ago,

"Dr Jasmine Burrows died while on active hospital duty.

"A preliminary police investigation indicates this was a result

"of a terrible accident.

"In attempting to protect a vulnerable patient from herself,

"Dr Burrows hid a scalpel in her uniform.

"A subsequent fall was to have devastating consequences

"for Dr Burrows, those who found her...

"..and those she leaves behind.

"The hospital has suffered a terrible blow.

"We're all in a state of shock.

"Now, more than ever, leadership and direction are required of us.

"Life must go on.

"New challenges must be faced.

"Obstacles overcome.

"In the meantime,

"I will be conducting an internal investigation.

"Lessons that can be learned will be learned. Mistakes that were made

"will be exposed."

CAR STEREO BLARES

All right, everyone.

I just wanted to say,

I know today's not going to be easy, and for those of you who've made

a real effort to come in, thank you.

If anybody finds it too much, please say.

Jas would want us to go on, so...

Look, we do really appreciate everyone prepared to work

on what is going to be a very difficult day.

Not only are we a doctor down,

but Nurse Reynolds isn't with us either. What?

We do have another nurse joining us.

An old acquaintance of yours, apparently, Mr V.

-Really? Who?

-Ta-da!

SHE LAUGHS I'm back!

Who died?

What are you doing here?

I requested to work up here.

I knew you'd be in, despite...

I just... I wanted to be here for you. In case you needed me.

I won't.

Was there anything else?

I'm here.

Right, OK, thank you.

-That was unbelievable.

-Bit awkward.

It's a thing you say. Like, "Why the long face?"

-Or, "Who put sand in your pants?"

-They'll understand.

When you say "Who died?" You don't actually expect someone to have, you know, literally...died.

Donna? It'll be OK. Thank you.

This doctor, were you close?

This place has changed. The people, too.

-Yes, but it still feels like home, though, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

Er, look, I've got to go. Let's catch up properly, later.

OK.

Nurse Jackson. How are you?

Still recovering. My bout of foot-in-mouth disease earlier.

Well, we're very busy, so it's great to have an experienced nurse

on board.

Um, I'd like you in the store room.

Ooh, naughty! At least buy me a drink first.

SHE CHUCKLES

What do you need?

I'd like a full inventory of supplies and check the resus

-trolley.

-You want me to count stock?

Is that a problem?

It's a little beneath my pay grade is all. I...

I was ward sister, so...

Was, and it's been several years since you've been here, right?

Look, just think of this as easing you back in.

OK!

Ladies, who fancies earning 20 quid and my undying gratitude?

-Stop that.

-Stop what?

Looking at me like I'm about to break.

-I wasn't. I was just thinking that...

-That I shouldn't be here.

That I have suffered a terrible loss and I need some time

to come to terms with it.

-Well...

-I'm fine.

Ms Naylor, I just wanted to say that I'm really...

How sorry you are for what happened.

That you wish you could have done more.

That even though you'd only just met Jasmine,

what a lovely girl she seemed. Right?

Um. Yeah, er...

You did what you could.

It wasn't enough.

It's sad. But it's done. There is no point in dwelling on it.

You got that, Rossini?

You're with me today, Ford.

Luna James, 23. Collapsed on her way to work. Chest pain.

Breathlessness. She's tachycardic. Pulse 100.

BP 160/80. Sats at 80%.

How are you feeling today, Luna?

-Ready.

-For what?

Whatever's coming.

What do you think's coming?

You tell me.

Well, a transthoracic echocardiogram for starters.

If you could organise that, Dr Ford. We'll take things from here.

Now, please!

So, full medical history. FBC, U&Es cross match.

Let me take that for you.

-Paper-plane fetish?

-These aren't paper planes.

-What then?

-Wishes.

Right, let's get you into bed, shall we?

Thanks, ladies.

-Stop struggling, please.

-Get off me!

-Look, please!

-What's the problem?

-OK, Fedja Kovak. He fell off his bicycle.

Suspected traumatic pneumothorax.

I'm fine. I have to go. I have an appointment.

-You need to lie down, please!

-You need to get out of my way!

Hey, listen, Fedja, is it? We're here to help you.

We can't do that if you're yelling and screaming

-and giving it all the argy-bargy. OK?

-You don't understand.

Hear that whistling as you try and breathe?

That is air leaking out of your lung and collecting in the pleural space

causing pressure to build where it shouldn't.

Without treatment, that tightness in your chest is going to swell

until it begins to compress your heart.

-And trust me, you really don't want that to happen. OK?

-I...

We need to get him onto a bed, quick.

We might need a chest drain.

He's tensioning. Needle decompression?

-Of course.

-OK, lets get him on the bed.

HE CRIES OUT Nice.

Right, there.

Thank you.

Nice!

Feel better?

Going to give us any more hassle?

Super.

-I've got the drain.

-It's all right. I think we've got it all

under control, thanks.

I thought we were easing you back in gently.

Well, it's like riding a bike, innit? Easy-peasy.

No offence.

I liked your speech.

Very...motivational.

Well, I had to say something. Do you have any idea how hard it is

to concentrate with you lot mooning around?

I know how hard it is to concentrate when someone close to you

has been taken away.

Jasmine and I weren't close.

Dr Ford's ready with Luna's TTE.

You think there's something strange about this girl?

She's scared, that's all.

So, you write the wish on paper, build the plane and then...

Send it out into the universe.

Or seven feet until they all crash and burn.

-Seem to have quite a few wishes.

-Just one.

Those are my students'.

It was supposed to be a way of combining science

and religious studies.

-We were going to release them today.

-Are you a teacher?

A TA for now.

Well, Luna, your heart looks OK,

but you do have elevated pulmonary pressure.

Is that what caused me to faint?

We're going to have to do a chest X-ray to get a clearer picture.

Has anything like this ever happened before?

-No. But I've been expecting it.

-Expecting what?

-Something bad.

-Why?

Moral causation.

"A man of good acts will become good, a man of bad acts, bad."

What are you talking about?

It's karma. The simple belief that one reaps what one sows.

There's nothing simple about it.

There's nothing medical about it either. A word, Ms Naylor, please.

You said you needed a history.

It can wait.

What's this for?

Neurological test. It's just routine.

You know, I was wearing my helmet at the time and didn't even hit

my head anyway. Cleverly used my arms, ribs and my legs

to break my fall.

How did the accident happen?

Not sure. Oil slick, maybe.

I was moving pretty fast at the time.

Where were you in such a hurry to get to?

Train station. I've got a job interview in London at six.

Oh, what for?

A London Fire Brigade final practical exam.

Last train's at four. If I'm not on it...

Is there any chance you can just patch me up and get me out of here?

Neurologically you seem fine.

But you've just suffered a traumatic pneumothorax, Mr Novak.

I don't see you running up 30 flights of stairs with a hose

on your back any time soon.

Right, FBC, U&Es, Chest X-ray and IV paracetamol for the pain.

Sure.

Maybe they'll let you resit?

Not a chance. I really need to be on that train.

Let's see what the X-ray shows.

Er, about that inventory.

-Oh, it's done.

-Yeah. So I hear.

It was a team effort.

Do you always get other people to do your work for you?

Well, it's delegation, innit?

You say tom-ay-to...

The job got done, right?

But not by the person that I asked to do it.

Ah. You're a process-based manager.

I focus more on outcomes, so...

Process that.

-You're kidding, right?

-No.

-You know that I used to do your job.

-You might've mentioned it once or twice.

The point being that I've been there, done that and wrote the book.

In fact, I wrote most of this.

Excellent, then you can just skip to the part that says, "Updated".

I didn't come back here to be taught how to suck eggs.

So what did you come back here for?

To do my job.

-Look, I get that you're marking your territory, I...

-No.

I'm trying do my job, which is to maintain and secure the high

standard of care demanded by this hospital of its staff.

My staff.

Now, you come with glowing references, but the simple fact is

a lot has changed since the last time you worked here.

And you'll find out what when you read that manual.

But until you do, consider yourself on restricted duties. Are we clear?

Yes, boss.

I'm well aware that you prefer to keep busy when faced

with emotional trauma. I certainly don't question that.

If this is for your internal investigation, I've already given

a statement to the police.

The last time I saw Jasmine we had a fight,

and the last time I heard from her she left a message on my phone.

Yes, I know, Jac.

Then what?

The coroner and the police are satisfied as to the cause of death

and so the morgue are able to release Dr Burrows' body

for internment.

These are the relevant release forms

and I've taken the liberty of including the names

of several reputable funeral homes.

What are you giving them to me for?

Go and find her next of kin or whoever's supposed to deal with this stuff.

I am, Jac.

You ARE her next of kin.

Still can't believe she's gone.

Such a terrible waste.

-You OK?

-Yeah.

She didn't have an easy time of it here, and I can't help

but feel partially responsible for that.

I know, I know. But I'm just saying.

There was always a certain kind of sadness about Jasmine.

There are some people who'd say she's gone to a better place.

-Oh, yeah, what people?

-My mother for starters.

Yeah, but you don't believe in heaven, do you?

I don't know. Well, I like to believe there's something, I guess.

Yeah, but you're not religious?

No, not really. But don't let Mum hear that.

PHONE RINGS

Do you know, it's like she's got a sixth sense.

Mum. Hi. Listen, what have I said about calling me at work?

What package?

-I have a bad feeling about this.

-It's a present.

No, it's a trap.

It's my second cousin's son's brit milah later today

and as a favour to my mother, I've agreed to chaperone

the mohel's daughter to the celebration afterwards.

-What's a brit milah?

-Jewish circumcision ceremony.

-It's when they do the snip-snip, but what is a mo...

-Mohel.

Someone that does the snipping. Why is the daughter going?

She's a family friend. At least that's what Mum says.

-Oh, you were right. It's a trap.

-What am I missing?

Disappointed with her son's previous choices of life partner,

Ma Levy's singular mission is to marry her first-born son

to a nice respectable Jewish girl.

This is no brit milah. This is a blind date.

OK, so let me get this straight.

Your mother has set you up on a blind date with the daughter of a

man who makes a living from snipping off little pieces of male genitalia?

-Pretty much, yeah.

-Excellent. I thought Carol was bad.

Good luck.

Oh, sorry. I should take this elsewhere.

Oh, no! Please stay. I could do with the distraction.

We didn't get introduced. I'm Donna Jackson.

-Hi, I'm Morven Digby.

-Nice needle work earlier.

Digby, why does that ring a bell?

I held a nursing seminar back in 2012 for that year's medical crop.

There was a Digby there. Came top of his class.

Second. Arthur came second in his year.

It rankled.

He was my husband.

Aw, he's a really bright kid. Is he here, too?

No, he died.

I am... I am so sorry.

It's all right, you weren't to know.

What is it with this place? Doctors are dropping like flies.

Oh I'm... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to...

No, no, honestly, no, it's fine.

It's not your fault.

I just...

That's her, isn't it? I'm so sorry, this is me and my big stupid mouth.

-I just don't get why she had to die.

-I'm sorry.

Morven?

What have you said now?

No, Ollie, it's not her fault.

I shouldn't have come in today.

-Would you mind if I just, er...?

-Yeah, yeah. No, go.

I'll square things with Bernie.

Your bicycle guy's asking after you, by the way.

I will check on him, thank you.

-You wrote most of that, didn't you?

-Tell me about it.

I don't care if she put my name down on the hospital forms.

I am not her next of kin.

I'm... I'm nothing.

You'll just have to find someone else to take care of it, OK?

-Hi.

-Hi.

There's been a mix-up.

Jasmine's put me down as her next of kin.

-It's no mix-up.

-You knew?

Well, I was her best friend, so...

Well, I'm very sorry for your loss.

She loved you so much.

She idolised me. She created a fantasy about me, about us.

-There's a difference.

-No, Jac, she loved you.

And she would have given anything to tell you that.

To not be afraid that you'd laugh at her,

or you'd reject her, again.

And now it's too late.

Mum, Mum, I know exactly what you're doing.

I don't care what Harriet Brite looks like. That's not the point.

A brit milah is not an appropriate forum for you to be doing

your Cilla Black impersonation.

I don't know what she looks like. I've never spoken to her.

Mum, that does not mean you can give Hatty my number.

Mum. Mum?

Mother, hey?

-Yeah.

-Trying to set you up?

-Yes.

-I feel the pain.

-Thank you.

-Not yours. Mine. Stabbing. Abdomen.

Oh. Sorry. Can we have some help? Thank you.

Oh, um, sorry. Mac Mitchell.

54. GP referral with suspected pancreatitis.

It says here, Mac, you've been experiencing severe abdominal pain.

I think we've established that, mate.

Right. Let's get him on the bed and let's do an examination.

Temperature's at 40.

Tenderness at the renal angle.

Er, 10mg of morphine for the pain.

No. No morphine. Paracetamol's fine.

Addictive personality, if you get my drift.

So Mac, this addictive personality.

Alcohol?

Aye. Oceans of it.

Always knew it would catch up with me one day.

Any news on when I might be getting out of here?

Still waiting on blood tests.

And if they're clear?

Look, Fedja, you...

That's an interesting name.

It's Bosnian. It's like an English variation on Theodore.

You're Bosnian?

Born there. Mum brought us here after Dad was killed.

Oh. In the war?

Yeah. He was a volunteer firefighter.

-Fedja...

-SHE SPEAKS IN CROATIAN

What have you done to yourself?!

-HE SPEAKS IN CROATIAN

-Looks worse that it is.

You have a tube in your chest.

Fedja's right, it really does look worse than it is.

Mum. This is Nurse Jackson. She's been taking care of me.

Nurse Jackson, Liliana, my mother.

It's a temporary measure to relieve pressure in Fedja's chest

caused by the bicycle accident, so...

SHE SPEAKS IN CROATIAN

I didn't fall off my bike, I was... I got clipped by a car.

-SHE SPEAKS IN CROATIAN

-He's in pain.

Give him something.

He's already on one gram of IV paracetamol.

It's not good enough. Look. You are top nurse?

I like to think I'm pretty capable.

No, are you big cheese? Organ grinder, chief?

No. Not any more. But I can guarantee...

You can bring me organ grinder?

When you want something done, you go straight to the top, right?

Of course, Mrs Novak.

Mrs Novak would like to discuss her son's pain relief.

All right, I'll talk to her in a minute.

I could take her through the options if you like.

No, it's fine, I'll do it.

Give you a chance to catch up on your reading.

PHONE RINGS

Hey! I was just thinking about you.

I would love to catch up. OK.

-Luna James' chest X-ray.

-Thank you.

Think this belongs to you.

-I read the message. Bleak.

-Wishes usually are.

If you wish to be loved it's cos you're not.

Isn't that all a little depressing for 12-year-olds?

I work with kids in care. They're way beyond fairy tales.

How do those help?

Allows them to express themselves. Commune with the universe.

I got the idea while travelling in India.

Ah. So this is where you got all the karma stuff from?

Do you know what's wrong with me yet?

The X-ray's inconclusive.

But I suppose you think it's some kind of divine retribution?

For what?

My mother died three weeks ago.

Alone and in pain, because I wasn't there. I was in India

learning about this "karma stuff".

Luna, have you recently been on a plane?

Yeah, I flew back a couple of weeks ago.

And when you were in India did you spend time at high altitude?

Yeah, Himalayas. Why?

TTE showed signs of elevated pressure.

12.5 mg of Ramipril.

If the swelling goes down you can discharge her.

You almost certainly have pulmonary hypertension caused by exposure

-to altitude.

-That's it? I'm not dying?

Not yet. Why wasn't any of this in the history?

As far as I can tell no history's been done at all.

Don't worry, Serena, I'll let you know about the funeral arrangements.

Yep, you too.

Bye-bye.

-Donna! So good to see you again.

-You too.

I wish it was under better circumstances. I'm sorry.

-Yeah. You heard?

-Yeah, do they know what happened?

It seems like there was some kind of terrible accident.

How are they treating you on AAU?

I was going to come down and welcome you in person, but there was

a special board meeting after...well...

It's fine. They're treating me great for the most part.

-I saw Oliver. He hasn't changed.

-Hasn't he?

Everything, you know, it's the same but different.

Well, you've been gone quite a while.

Yeah. I'm starting to realise that.

-Kieran?

-Oh, that went south a long time ago.

I meant to thank you for the references.

Oh, no, no. Fully deserved.

-AAU doesn't know how lucky they are to have you.

-I've noticed.

-Problem?

-Nothing I can't handle,

and nothing that you need to bother yourself with. OK?

Donna?

I... I seem to have rubbed Nurse Fletcher up the wrong way.

I've been placed on restricted duties. It's fine, come on.

-PHONE RINGS

-Gah...

You going to answer it?

It's her. I know it is.

Who?

It's Harriet Brite, the mohel's daughter.

-She might be really nice.

-That's not the point.

Well, what IS the point?

I can't let my mother win! That's the point.

So, by not answering your phone you'll prove to your mother

that she's not the boss of you?

PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

Hello, Sacha Levy's phone.

No, I don't have PPI.

Mr Mitchell's bloods.

Bad news?

Nurse? Please help my son.

What's happened?

He's in so much pain. He's trying not to show

but I can see it.

-It's my ribs.

-Right, um... Still one gram of IV paracetamol.

Did Nurse Fletcher come over?

He got called away, some crisis. Please.

You're not allergic to ibuprofen?

All right, let's see if NSAID'S help.

I'll speak to a doctor.

They don't work then we'll try something stronger, OK?

Mr Novak? OK?

I just need to get out to my interview, yeah?

SHE SPEAKS IN CROATIAN

Mum here doesn't want me to become a firefighter.

-She thinks it's too dangerous.

-It IS dangerous.

THEY ARGUE IN CROATIAN

Now then.

I have spoken to Nurse Fletcher about his concerns

and we've agreed a compromise.

-It's fine. Really, I should...

-No. No, no.

You are a former ward sister and one of the finest I've ever worked with,

and you will be treated accordingly.

So, I've assured Nurse Fletcher that...

-Fedja Novak's bloods.

-What about them?

-Where are they?

-In the lab.

I just spoke to the lab. They have no record of them.

I labelled, bagged and dropped them hours ago.

What?

Um,

bloods are now electronically tagged and listed

in order of priority.

-Since when?

-2014. It's in the manual.

What are you doing?

Nothing, I... I was bringing up the theatre notes and...

And you started going through my drawers?

No, it was open. I found this.

Are you crying?

-I thought you said you didn't know Jasmine as a child?

-I didn't.

Well, what's this then?

Nothing. Something Paula did in one her more maudlin moods.

-Wasn't nothing to Jasmine.

-It's a lie.

-Look, we need to talk.

-Yes, we do.

Luna James. Why didn't you do her history?

Cos she was banging on about that karma stuff and doing my head in.

It's basic nursing.

-Yes, I know. I'm sorry, I forgot. I was upset.

-About what?

-What do you think?

-Jasmine?

-Yes, Jasmine!

-It's no excuse. We're all upset.

We still do our jobs and we move on.

That's you moving on, is it?

Same old Jac.

-What's that supposed to mean?

-You. Hiding everything away.

-Oh, don't start with the undergraduate analysis.

-Burying everything away.

-It's just embarrassing.

-Even after all these years and you're still scarred.

-Enough!

-She's your sister, Jac!

-And now she's dead! And I couldn't stop it.

You blame yourself.

-PAGER BEEPS

-It wasn't your fault.

Jac, there's something I have to tell you. Jac!

-What happened?

-I gave her the Rampiril. She seemed to be responding.

-Then she just...crashed.

-Clear! Shocking.

No change. Starting compression again.

Charging to 150.

-How long's it been?

-30 minutes.

-Why didn't you call me?!

Clear! Shocking.

Get out the way.

Her heart is young. She wants to live.

-Charging.

-1ml of epinephrine.

Clear! Shocking.

DEFIBRILLATOR SHOCK

-Sinus rhythm! She's back!

-Good.

Right, 300mg of amiodarone, bolus, then 900mg over 12 hours.

When she's able I want an MRI and TOE.

HARMONICA PLAYS SAD TUNE

-Expecting bad news?

-Pavlovian.

I haven't received too much good news from doctors in recent years.

Ah, squeeze-box?

Haven't seen one of those since my daughter's bat mitzvah.

-Used to be in a Klezmer band.

-What, used to?

These days I can just about squeeze out the odd note,

but anything more than that the booze did for.

Give it to me, Doc. What's the damage.

My liver?

No. It's on the wrong side.

Dodged a bullet?

Afraid not.

The blood tests show that you have signs of infection,

-and it appears your kidneys are playing up.

-I see.

-The booze?

-Well, it won't have helped.

Are we talking failure here?

-No, no, we're not at that stage yet.

-PHONE RINGS

-Screening?

-Yup.

-Women or debts?

-Bit of both.

No, it's my mother.

The blind date. Does she have awful taste in women, your mother?

Well, she certainly thinks I do.

Can't you humour her?

No. Not lately.

As she gets older, my mother's turned to religion.

She's trying to get me to do the same. By stealth.

Her religion?

Mm.

You don't believe?

Let's just say I haven't witnessed any miracles.

Especially not recently.

Sorry. it's been a bit tough round here.

You know, Mac, it's still not too late to cut out that grog.

It might stop the shakes.

I haven't touched a drop in two years and this just keeps getting worse.

-You're clean?

-As a whistle.

Ooh, kettle's boiled.

-Hey?

-Cuppa?

No, you're all right. But, thanks.

No worries.

-TOGETHER: Nurse Fletcher...

-Nurse Jackson...

-TOGETHER:

-Call me Fletch.

-Just Donna.

Look, Fletch, I'm so sorry.

I came in here today like I bloody well owned the place.

Trampled all over your feet and made a complete div out of myself

while doing so. If someone had done that while I was running the ward

I'd have gone completely ballistic.

Instead, you know, you've been fair and generous and...

Well, I'm really sorry.

Hard to argue with any of that.

Fresh start?

Fresh start.

This is the part where you admit you've been slightly cranky

with me, too.

Well, I'm not usually the cranky type, so...

-Guess we just rubbed each other up the wrong way.

-Yeah.

Maybe we'll be like one of those couples,

you know, all snipey and fighty at first and then boom!

At it like rabbits in the store cupboard,

can't keep their hands off each other.

Or we could maintain a professional, respectable working relationship.

Yeah. We should do that.

Liliana Novak was asking for you.

Any idea what we're looking for?

Something that's not showing up on a TTE, but is serious enough

to cause heart failure.

That was incredible. Before.

The way you brought her back.

I mean, I thought she was... You know.

But you didn't give up. Not for a second.

What was the last thing she said?

-What?

-Jasmine.

When you found her, what did she say to you?

That she'd fallen.

Stupid accident.

She kept saying she was tired.

I knew I had to keep her awake so I kept talking to her.

What was the last thing she said?

Your name.

She asked for you.

Why?

I was just thinking about the last thing I said to her before...

What was that?

What is it, Rossini?

Luna's MRI scan.

-Jac, if you want me to take over...

-No, wait. Wait. Wait.

Go back. Over the mitral valve.

There.

There it is. Separation.

-It's tiny.

-What are we looking at, Dr Ford?

There's a separation down the middle of the mitral valve.

Cleft mitral leaflet?

-Treatment?

-Mitral valve repair.

-Good work.

You'll be scrubbing in.

So are they normally about eight days old when it happens?

Yes, traditionally.

-Isn't that...

-Barbaric?

-I was going to say traumatic.

Some people think so. I can't say I really remember.

Oh, thanks. There's an image I really didn't need.

Yes, Dominic. I am Jewish.

Yeah, but I don't need to know how Jewish you are, do I?

I can't actually believe I'm having this conversation.

It doesn't work that way. You can't just pick and choose.

OK, right, so when was the last time you went to synagogue?

-Shut up. Go away.

-Mac Mitchell's urine tests.

So you CAN pick and choose.

HARMONICA PLAYS INTRODUCTION TO BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY

You're going to start giving me a complex.

Right, results confirm you have a kidney infection. Pyelonephritis.

But the interesting thing is that it has absolutely nothing to do

-with your alcoholism.

-What's causing it, then?

When you gave up the sauce, did you replace it with anything?

Sugary drinks and red-hot curry.

-Is that hand really sore?

-On and off. Arthritis, probably.

-PHONE RINGS

-Hazard of the lifestyle.

-Sorry about this.

-Is it the religion that puts you off

or the fact it's your mum pushing it?

Probably a bit of both, isn't it?

Careful you don't do yourself out of a good thing.

-Little bit of faith can go a long way.

-Are you religious?

I am now. 12 steps. It worked for me.

God gave me one miracle when he helped me off the sauce.

Might be he'll give me another if he lets me

out of here in one piece today.

Well, I may have something to do with that.

-Hey, you wanted to speak to me?

-It's Fedja.

Well, the scans have given the all clear on his ribs,

the pneumothorax has cleared up and they're about to remove

the chest drain. With any luck, he might even make his interview.

He mustn't. He can't become a firefighter, it's too dangerous.

You must talk him out of it.

Me? Look, I understand how you feel, but I know from bitter personal

experience that young men are going to be drawn to dangerous jobs

-and there is nothing you can do to talk them out of it.

-You must try. You are nurse.

He will listen to you.

He wants to live up to his father's memory.

Surely you can understand that?

He can't.

But his father was a volunteer. A hero.

His father was collaborator. He was killed for it.

How could I tell him the truth, a baby in my arms?

Shellings... He was hurt and never the same since. Always...falling.

Sometimes visions, fits.

-Fits?

-Yeah, it's like he's there but not quite there. Just staring.

Sometimes it's worse. He's confused, it's like he doesn't know me.

And moments later, normal.

Does he lose consciousness? Is that why he fell off his bike?

Yeah.

OK, I will be back.

The heart failure was exciting.

Let's try not to do THAT again, OK?

Something tells me we're not quite finished yet.

The scan showed a small slit in your heart valve.

Tiny, but deadly if left untreated.

What's your one wish?

Not supposed to tell.

We're going into theatre soon.

I keep telling myself I'm ready but I'm not.

There's no such thing as karma.

The last time I saw my mother I told her I hated her.

She begged me not to take leave, said I was throwing my life away.

I told her she was a small-minded, provincial bigot...

..and she died four months later.

What do you think that makes me?

A snot-nosed, self-entitled, millennial brat?

If karma existed, three-quarters of people under 25

would be vaporised instantly.

I'm sure your mother knew you didn't mean it.

Last time we saw each other I was to be given some medicine

and discharged.

And since then I've suffered a massive heart attack

and been diagnosed with a deadly heart condition.

I'm scared I'm going to die, Ms Naylor.

I'm not going to let that happen.

-Where's Fedja?

-Er...toilet?

I just removed his drain. He wanted to stretch his legs.

We need get him to a brain MRI scan as soon as possible.

Brain? He didn't have a head injury, did he?

His mother just told me he was exposed to shelling as a baby,

-that they were caught in a bomb strike.

-Donna...

-Listen. Please.

She also described symptoms, recurring symptoms,

consistent with late-onset post-traumatic epilepsy.

And you think that's what caused the accident?

It's not the first time it's happened.

I'll get on to radiology. See if we can get an appointment.

-If he can come back in a few days...

-No, no, no. We need to find him now.

What's the panic? Even if there was an intra-cranial bleed this morning, it must have

been very small, otherwise there'd have been signs visible during his neurological testing.

-And it wouldn't have got bigger.

-It would if he'd been given medication with an anti-platelet

-effect. Like NSAID's.

-But he hasn't. He's on paracetamol.

-I changed it.

-You did what?

I asked Dr Davies to change his medication.

-Without checking with me first?

-I didn't mean to.

I had no reason to think... He was not allergic to anything, and...

I'm sorry.

I'll get onto radiology. You go and find him.

Now!

You OK?

I'm brilliant. Can't wait to get stuck in.

You have nothing to prove, Dr Ford. Nothing to make up for.

Right, let's get to theatre, Dr Ford.

First a supervised TOE, now assisting on an open sternotomy.

-I can handle it.

-I know YOU can.

What's your point?

You're showing a lot of faith in an F1 who's only been here a few weeks.

It's a teaching hospital, Rossini.

It's my job to throw them in at the deep end.

And it's my job to make sure they don't drown.

He blames himself, you realise.

Well, that means he's motivated.

Which part of "check with me" didn't you understand?

You cannot possibly be more angry at me than I am at myself.

It's all right. We'll find him.

There. Right, look. I need a trolley!

Fedja?

Fedja, can you hear me?

Fedja?

We need to get him back to AAU.

-As quick as you can, please!

-Fedja?

Fedja?

-Mac?

-It's fine. Pain comes and goes.

Probably shouldn't have attempted the Chopin earlier.

Klezmer days are long gone.

Well, I may be able to help.

We've discovered that your pyelonephritis is being caused

by a build-up of calcified stones in your kidney.

-I have kidney stones?

-Precisely.

But we can do a laser lithotripsy today, blast them out, and then

you'll have no problems, as long as you give up the sugary drinks.

-My cola?

-Then your hands can return to something

akin to their usual nimbleness.

So this was caused by the cola, not the booze?

Well, I mean, the booze didn't help, but, yeah.

I know you don't believe.

But I prayed for this.

Well, maybe God used me as a vessel.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Sacha Levy.

Hatty, Hi!

Yeah. Yeah, I was expecting your call.

Yep.

Yes, I think coming to the hospital first would be a fabulous idea.

Talk me through what I'm doing, Dr Ford.

-You'll open the left atrium to expose the valve.

-Before that?

Make sure the heart can't fill with blood while operating.

And how do we avoid that?

By putting the patient on bypass?

No. By being me.

The patient is all ready to go on bypass. Using cross clamps.

-And how do I become like you?

-You don't want to.

Pressure's dropping.

-FAST BEEPING

-She's hypotensive.

-OK, we've got a bleed.

Where? How? You did nothing wrong.

-It's like...

-Karma?

So 3-0 prolene on standby.

We need to find this bleed and stitch where it's coming from.

Guy collapsed outside. GCS is three. Pulse is 50, BP's 90/60.

Let's have a look.

All right. Let's get a team to transfer him to Neuro.

-There's no time. He's coning.

-Rescue burr hole.

Get him into trauma. Iodine prep and a scalpel.

And get a team from Neuro down here straight away, please!

Fedja?

It's OK, just stay here. We're taking care of him.

So how many's that now?

12 calcified stones reduced to rubble. It must have been agonising.

Not as agonising as it'll be for Sacha later, when Hatty arrives.

-THEY SNIGGER

-Har-di-har-di-har.

I'll meet her, I'll take her to these drinks and then, you know,

I'll politely but firmly explain that we've got nothing in common

and we'll just be friends.

I'm sure she'll be lovely.

-Thank you.

-Lovely personality, that is,

to make up for the snaggleteeth and the fallen arches.

LAUGHTER

Right, let it out. Get it out your systems.

I'm really hoping she's got a giant mole on the end of her nose

that you can't help but stare at.

-With a big hair coming out the middle of it!

-LAUGHTER

-You're going straight to hell. You know that, don't you? Both of you.

-OK, OK sorry.

-Sorry, Sach.

-It's not the time or the place.

-Sorry, Sacha.

Apology accepted.

Are you OK?

-IN BROKEN VOICE:

-I'm fine.

Are you crying?

Sach?

LAUGHTER

Snaggletooth!

Oh, that's tickled me!

THEY ALL LAUGH

That's so funny!

Mole! So funny!

I'm so sorry.

HE HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER

OK, let's have another two units. Where's it coming from?

-From under the heart.

-Who invited you to this mess, Rossini?

The bleed is on the underside.

Yes, I know that! But where, exactly?

-She knew this was going to happen.

-What are you talking about?

-She knew all along. Karma.

-There is no such thing.

OK, Ford.

-I'm going to lift the heart, and when I do I want you to look around very carefully.

-For what?

When I lift it, the bleed will stop because I'm stretching the vein

that it's coming from.

I need you to locate that vein. Understood?

Ready?

-Bleeding stopped.

-Pulmonary!

-Are you sure?

-Yes.

-OK, good. Take the heart.

What?!

-Take the heart. Hold it.

-Are you serious?

Deadly.

Jac. Wait, let me scrub in.

There's no time. Take the heart.

It's OK. It won't bite.

That's it. Lift it up. Good.

Right, Prolene.

OK, Ford.

Don't move.

-BEEP

-We're losing her.

-No, we're not.

Luna...

There's no such thing as karma.

You know how I know?

Because too many bad things happen to good people.

If karma existed, I wouldn't.

In a world without karma, people like me thrive.

There's no such thing as forgiveness.

BEEP

It wasn't your fault.

It feels like it was. In here.

For six years, on and off, I've been imagining what it would be like

to come home.

That's what this was supposed to be.

I never imagined it would feel like this.

What are you going to do?

What I have to.

It wasn't your fault.

What happened to Jasmine.

-You can't blame yourself.

-I don't.

Do you know how she died?

Yes.

She had a scalpel in her uniform

that she took off a troubled patient.

Kelli Mathers.

She was abused by her brother, Luke. We saved his life.

I saved his life.

And that's where our naive do-gooding Jasmine comes in.

She takes a scalpel off this poor, crazed girl.

Skips down here, falls over and kills herself.

And none of this would have happened but for that bastard Luke Underwood.

So that's it. You're quitting?

I wouldn't put it quite like that.

Well, how else would you put it?

That you don't have to take up the option on my contract.

-It was probationary, right?

-Yeah, fine. Whatever.

That's your idea of an exit interview, is it?

I'm not wasting exit interviews on cowards who dip their toes back

-in the water then scurry off the first hint of it being cold.

-Excuse me? Coward? How dare you?

What else would you call someone that does a runner at the first hurdle?

Look, the Donna Jackson that I heard about was a legend.

A warrior who worked hard, played harder and never, ever backed down from a fight.

Is your management style lifted straight from the Rocky movies

or have you just swallowed the Oxford Book of Cliches?

You want a cliche? How about this one?

The girl that makes one mistake and then jacks it all in.

One mistake? I have made loads of mistakes.

In fact, I have made an entire career out of humiliating incidents

that I've had to face down the next day.

What have you got me saying?!

You've just totally played me.

Like a fiddle.

Why?

Because you helped save Fedja Novak's life.

And you really want me to stay? Why?

Because you're a quality nurse. And that is what I need.

Anyway, who else am I going to fight with?

Right, well... I will look forward to it.

And so will I.

You saved me.

It's what I do.

Who saves you?

Can I have that?

What's your wish?

Not supposed to say.

They tell me I have epilepsy.

That I'll never be a firefighter.

You knew this was coming. That something was wrong.

That's why you fell off your bike, right?

I just wanted to make my dad proud.

He was a hero.

Sure.

But that's HIS story. Maybe you should concentrate on your own.

Do something to make yourself proud.

That's just my opinion.

SHE SPEAKS IN CROATIAN

RATTLING

These came out of my kidney, and I'm still alive,

and you reckon there's no God?

Oh, I didn't say there wasn't a God.

Just that I haven't felt his divine presence. Yet.

You will. One day.

We'll put you on a course of antibiotics,

and that will clear up the infection,

and hopefully, some of your other ailments.

How can I thank you?

You can keep me in your prayers.

Mr Levy? There's a Hatty to see you.

Feeling his divine presence now, ain't ya?

HARMONICA PLAYS HAPPY TUNE Hi, Sacha.

-Yes.

-I'm Hatty.

-Yes, I know.

Look, shall we go somewhere else, actually?

Just come with me.

Sorry about this, they're very excitable today, for some reason.

Um... Yes, we could find a restaurant.

I'd thought you'd taken the rest of the day off, Dr Digby.

Um, yes, I did, but...um, I couldn't...

I can't stop thinking about it.

Have you finished your investigation?

-I have.

-And?

Sit down, please.

So the facts appear to be fairly straightforward,

if somewhat hard to accept.

Dr Burrows hid a scalpel in her uniform and then fell.

You see, that's the thing I can't... I can't understand.

She fell how?

Well, she was tired. Exhausted, I suppose.

We'll never know the full truth.

No.

I don't think I can live with that.

MUSIC

Who's that?

Stunning.

That would be my wife.

My bad.

We're estranged.

Your bad.

Er, a little toast? To absent friends.

ALL: To absent friends.

-And new ones.

-Aw.

I'd like to arrange for the release of Jasmine Burrows' body

for funeral preparation.

Jac Naylor. Her sister.

Thank you.