Things Left Unsaid Holby City

After Nico went missing, I hired a private investigator.

You thought I'd done something to our son?

I understand you're launching a new mentoring scheme today?

-I am indeed. Do you approve?

-Absolutely.

These are Tara's scans.

Guy thinks that Roxanna MacMillan, her surgeon, made a mistake.

I've asked for a transfer.

-What?

-To AAU. They pretty much said it's a done deal.

I was going through your chest wall reconstruction stuff last week.

It's impressive.

Yes, well, it never got the support it deserved

but top marks for sucking up.

Please don't do this.

It's over.

How can we come back from this?

This kind of news, it is...

..surprising.

There's something about seeing it confirmed in black and white.

I suspected, of course.

-You're sure?

-I'm sure.

There's no mistake?

I'm sorry, it's just...

a bit of a shock.

I completely understand.

Thank you so much for squeezing me in so early.

-I appreciate your discretion.

-Of course.

BABIES CRY

New shoes?

I like to make a good impression on my first day.

Mate, It's AAU.

So long as there's an extra pair of hands to catch the projectile vomit, you're a hero.

The glamour never stops.

You best believe.

Come on, guys. Get a move on.

Last shift's already clocked off.

All right, where's the fire?

Ric's off, Ms Karnik's busy upstairs

and I'm back and forth to the out-patients' clinic.

Well, that's what happens when you become CT1.

Triple the workload and nobody thanks you for it.

Yeah, so I'm discovering. Chop, chop.

-Get a move on.

-Sorry, just coming.

Yeah, faster's better. You're not on Keller any more.

Morning.

Updated morbidity data for the chest wall reconstruction project.

-Have you been waiting long?

-Just a minute or two.

Maybe five or ten, but who's counting?

Impressive. Slightly creepy.

I finished the pre-visualisation demo last night, too.

Should seal the deal, right?

I love the smell of research funding in the morning.

Pride before the fall, Valentine.

Do I detect a note of soul-crushing cynicism?

Ah, yes. It must be Ms Naylor.

-Children...

-There's a little more to these things than turning up with

a smile and a slide show.

It doesn't hurt to smile.

You wouldn't think so around here.

Just don't lose sight of your competition.

What do you know that I don't?

I could stand here and give you a very comprehensive answer.

-Jac...

-Don't forget the new neuro consultant starts today.

They like to mark their territory.

Listen, before you go, any chance you can have a look

at the funding consolidation plan I did for Darwin?

Hard pass.

What's up with her?

It's a weekday and there's a vowel in the month. Ignore her, Hanssen's going to love this.

Yeah. Kings of Darwin, here we come!

No, we're not doing that.

-Thank you.

-OK.

Going up, Ms Karnik?

Keller today.

There's a live donor transplant and, in the absence of an on-site

coordinator, I just wanted to be there.

Very good.

I'm sure you'll set a shining example.

Speaking of which, if you'd like to check your inbox...

Hold the door!

You were saying.

I've forwarded an e-mail

outlining the details for this year's Junior Doctor Award.

I'm asking all consultants

if they would kindly offer their services as supervisors.

Another carrot to rally the troops on top of the CCG funding?

Well, I prefer my phrasing.

I trust I can rely on your leadership?

I can't think of anything I'd rather do.

That's the spirit.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Lift going up.

Doors closing.

You left early.

It's better we keep out of each other's way.

Maybe we can talk later?

We've said all there is to say.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors opening.

Lift going up.

Doors closing.

That's bay eight sorted.

Ah, cheers mate. It's been a bit mad here this morning.

We'll have to pull together while Mr Griffin's away.

Rumour has it he's been put on gardening leave.

-You shouldn't listen to rumours, Lofty.

-I know, I was just wondering.

He's just taken a couple of days off, all right?

Should all blow over in a couple of weeks.

I didn't mean anything. It's just talk.

I didn't have you down as a gossip.

-I'm not.

-Oh, come on.

Look at that face - he loves a bit of gossip.

I really don't.

Can someone give Mrs Oosterhause the once over, please?

We really need to discharge her.

What's she in for this time? Severe hypochondria?

-Verbal diarrhoea?

-Query shoulder fracture.

The X-rays came back all clear but she's still complaining.

Well, sounds like a job for the new boy if you ask me.

Great. Another box-ticking, ego-boosting,

pat-on-the-head, yet ultimately meaningless award scheme.

Not that I'm cynical.

It could be a huge career boost for you.

I'd certainly encourage you both to apply.

And the in-house supervisors, do they include

-the Medical Director herself?

-Subject to availability.

I'm sure Mr Levy will be happy to oblige, as well.

Sacha's a very affable mentor,

but you know what they say about nice guys.

Well, then it takes one to know one.

If there's a prize at stake, I'm keen to learn from the best.

We also have a live donor procedure due in today.

So I'll need assistance in theatre but the way to impress me

is with tact, efficiency and above all teamwork.

Reuben Varley is on his way up. Still no word on the donor yet.

Could you check with reception that we have contact information?

We can't afford any delays.

And they said an on-site transplant co-ordinator was surplus to requirements.

I'd appreciate any help that you can give.

Is it me or is there an atmosphere in here?

Well, if the Trust continue to cut budgets and staff like a Soviet

efficiency drive, then you can hardly expect smiles and sunshine.

Preach.

Let's turn that around, shall we?

If we pull together and focus, we can make the best of it.

-PHONE RINGS

-Now, who's with me?

Hello, Keller ward.

Well, we'll work on that too.

Thank you for joining me.

I thought it best we catch up before you got started,

past history being what it is.

Particularly where Mr Valentine is concerned.

I'm finally getting the new kidney today, guys, so fingers crossed.

I'm not going to lie, it's been, um...

Oh, wait, here's the lady of the hour herself.

Say, hello, Ms Karnik.

Hello, Reuben. How are you feeling?

I'm pretty good, thanks, all things considered. How are you?

Me? I couldn't be better.

Just make sure you get my good side.

Sorry, I'll stop. I know it's annoying.

Not at all. This is Mr Copeland and Mr Johanssen.

They'll be assisting me today.

I started it when I was first diagnosed and went on the list.

Guess it's kind of therapeutic, maybe inspire more donors, I dunno.

Reuben has end-stage renal failure,

but fortunately his father is a positive tissue match.

Lucky for some, eh?

Well, Reuben we're going to need to do a few pre-op tests first,

so we're going to take some bloods, a few swabs...

Plus a clotting screen and two units of cross-match.

I'll leave you in capable hands.

Where's my dad?

I thought I'd be able to see him before going under.

What?

He hasn't checked in downstairs yet,

but I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

It's probably just traffic.

So I said to him, I said, "Iain, you're a pip, you really are.

"But I'm hardly likely to break any bones under a small

"stack of Reader's Digests and half a pile of Woman's Weeklies!"

Still, he insisted on bringing me in, bless his little heart.

But that's paramedics for you.

I don't like to make a fuss but it's Iain, you see.

He's very masterful, that one.

Like a northern Timothy Dalton.

Why don't I take your bag out of the way for you?

I can put it in a locker, it'll be safe there.

Oh, no, luvvie, no, no.

I'd rather keep hold of it if it's all the same.

I need to examine you, Mrs Oosterhause.

Shall we put it on the floor for a minute, would that be OK?

OK...

Go on, then.

You've got such an honest face,

I can always tell.

Let's take a little look.

Oh, yes. Right there.

There doesn't seem to be a fracture on the shoulder X-ray.

It might just be your bruising...

SHE COUGHS

How long have you had that cough for?

Just since the fall.

Feels a bit tight in the chest.

Oh, I hope it's nothing serious, though?

Why don't I get a doctor to take a look for you? Be on the safe side.

Well, if you think it's best.

I won't be a sec.

Mrs Oosterhause seems a bit short of breath. Do you think you could take another look?

-Are you joking?

-I know she's a bit eccentric.

That's one word for her. Straight through to theatre, please.

She'll need a chest X-ray as well as the shoulder.

She's milking it, Lofty, and we really need the bed.

Sounds like you've made your mind up about her already.

Look, it's bitter experience. Ever heard of The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf?

You know how that actually ends, right?

Matteo, it's me.

I'm sorry about this morning.

I know you don't really want to see me right now

but we can't carry on like this forever.

I think we need to clear the air.

So, please...

KNOCK AT DOOR

Call me back when you get this. It's important.

-Sorry, I can come back.

-It's OK.

Mr Fitzwallace just dropped by from Obs and Gynae.

Says you left this in his office earlier.

Yes. Thanks. Just a quick consult.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hi. Sebastian Varley's just arrived in reception.

He's on his way up.

Thanks. I'll join you shortly.

Mr Varley, we were starting to worry you wouldn't make it.

I've already had the lecture from this one.

So I left it all a bit last-minute, so hang me.

Well, you're here now.

Reuben's all set for the transplant, pending our final assessment.

Yeah, um, about that...

It's not beyond the bounds of possibility that

I may have indulged in a bit of Dutch courage late last night.

I'm sure the transplant team stressed that

you were to be nil-by-mouth for the last 12 hours,

not to mention the effect of alcohol on your kidney.

I know, I know.

I've not had a drink for almost a year, believe it or not.

It's just...

I needed to calm my nerves.

Will it be a problem?

What time did you have this drink?

About one o'clock in the morning.

Any alcohol should have passed out of your system by now,

-but the blood tests will confirm.

-So, no harm done, then?

I'd be more interested to work out why you decided to disregard

medical advice the night before a live donor procedure.

Can't a man get cold feet before having an organ removed?

The donor assessment procedure is very comprehensive.

Yes, that I know.

Look, it's not the surgery I'm worried about.

Can I see him?

Reuben?

I want to see him before, in case...

Not to leave things unsaid.

God forbid...

Of course. Once we get your pre-op tests under way.

Mr Johanssen, I trust you can see to that?

Of course.

Ms Karnik?

Given the circumstances, I'm happy to liaise with the regional

co-ordinator, just to make sure things are covered.

Just so you know, I can't do anything to get your old position back.

No, I'm not trying to prove a point.

But if I can be of use...

Always. Thank you, Nurse Harrison.

Wow, that's amazing.

The house I grew up in.

Nothing but fond memories.

This is Damon Ford, one of our junior doctors.

You're the genius who's going to steal my beating heart?

No, that's still me.

If he plays his cards right I might let him scrub in.

-For real?

-The more the merrier, I say. Many hands make light work.

This is Mahershala Drake.

Hershie, please.

He's had a persistent atrial arrhythmia for some time now,

so we're going to do a mini maze procedure to straighten things out.

Reset my metronome.

Keeps skipping a beat for all the wrong reasons.

We'll make a few small incisions on either side of the chest and insert

an ablation device that'll help us insulate the pulmonary vein.

Sounds better when he says it.

And the best thing is, we won't need to crack the chest.

Lord, Hallelujah.

I'd love to get in on that.

Mr Valentine?

-Hmm?

-I was just saying, any chance to clock some theatre time...

We'll see.

So you're one of these online influencers

making the rest of us feel old.

Hardly. I've only got a few thousand subscribers.

I got sent a free pair of trainers once, though.

Like that's got anything to do with donor awareness, right?

Well, once you get this new kidney, there'll be no stopping you.

So just remember us mere mortals when you're internet famous.

Because what the world needs now

is your ugly mug beamed direct to everyone's phones.

I thought you'd done a runner or something.

You're not getting rid of me that easy.

Bloods and swabs, all clear.

Seriously, if you've changed your mind, it's OK. I said all along.

Are you kidding me?

Mum would be really proud.

I don't know about that.

What?

I was just thinking about her...

All she would've wanted for you...

Come on, not in front of the doctor, right?

Yeah, sorry. Just ignore me.

Classic embarrassing dad.

As soon as your father's bloods are cleared,

-we'll proceed with the nephrectomy.

-MOBILE BEEPS

Excuse me.

Everything OK?

Yeah, fine, thank you. I'm just stepping out for a minute.

Do you want me to get Mr Levy on standby just in case

he needs to take over the transplant?

Why would you do that?

I couldn't help noticing - the sickness, the trip to Obs and Gynae?

That is really none of your business.

Don't worry, I understand.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors opening.

Lift going down.

I would appreciate it if you don't start any silly rumours.

Mum's the word.

Mr Rossini must be thrilled.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors closing.

Kettle's just boiled. Tea or coffee?

I was just looking for Dr Ford.

We should probably address the elephant in the room.

Let's not and say we did.

I had a call from a friend of mine at St James's a few weeks ago.

He said you were after a second opinion on some old scans.

Tara's scans.

That was something and nothing.

If there's anything you'd like me to clarify...

Ah, excellent.

Uh, seeing as Jac's being even more Jac than usual, I thought

we could discuss the allocation of nurses between CT and Neuro...

Um, I'll pop back later.

I stand by my decisions, but if you have any doubts,

I think it's better that we get them out in the open.

Also, you should know, I'm going for the CCG funding.

I appreciate what you're trying to do,

but, uh, I'd really rather not dredge up ancient history.

Excuse me, I have patients to see.

I've been rehearsing this speech in my head all morning,

and now that I'm here, I don't know where to start.

Let's not rake over it all again.

I've already found a flat.

Close to work, available from Monday.

You're moving out?

It's time we drew a line under it.

I'll pack things up over the weekend and we'll finally be free.

What if I...? PHONE RINGS

Sorry.

Yes?

How bad?

Get her back into theatre

and prepare to do an emergency thoracotomy.

I'm on my way.

I have to go.

Good news, Mr Varley.

Your tests are all clear, no trace of alcohol.

So there's no reason to delay the nephrectomy.

Spectacular.

You almost sound disappointed.

I wasn't trying to bail out on it, if that's what you're thinking.

If you have any doubts, you really should have discussed them with the counselling team weeks ago.

It's not about doubts.

At least...not from me, anyway.

I don't follow.

I just wanted to get through today...

..worry about the rest later.

And then last night...

..it hit me.

If this is something that affects the transplant,

it's important we have full disclosure.

See, my son...Reuben...

I lied...to him.

It's all my fault.

QUIVERING: It's all my fault.

It isn't a secret ex-wife-type situation, is it?

FLETCH SIGHS

Jac, have you got five minutes to go over the revised nursing allocation?

Look at my face.

There was proper tension between them two. Clue me in!

Look, listen, why don't you ask him yourself?

Yeah, that'd be a smart career move!

-ALARM BLEEPS

-Can I get some help in here, please?

He's having a grand mal seizure. BP's 100 over 50.

He's in SVT. Any history of epilepsy?

Yes, actually. Temporal lobe with secondary generalisation.

I thought we were just dealing with the cardiac arrhythmia.

-We are.

-Heart rate's stabilising.

Hershie, can you hear me?

Hershie.

That was...incredible.

You were having an epileptic seizure, Mr...?

-Drake.

-No.

A vision!

Could you describe it to me?

I was in a huge field.

Where I went to school.

With the sound of children playing. And the colours...

So vivid!

It was like I was ten years old, all over again.

I think it would be a good idea for us to run an MRI scan.

We're due in theatre in a few hours.

Couldn't hurt to have some fresh imagery. Belt and braces!

Damon, would you set up a 12-lead, please?

-And make sure Mr Drake's comfortable.

-Happy to.

Ms MacMillan?

This wouldn't by any chance have anything to do

with your bid for the CCG funding, would it?

Not remotely. My research focuses on dementia patients, not epileptics.

Why the keen interest?

I just think it's better to have all the facts, wouldn't you agree?

Of course.

You look busy.

Yeah, I just want to make sure everything's ready for theatre by the time Ms Karnik gets back.

Mm, somebody wouldn't be trying to bag himself a new supervisor by any chance?

Wouldn't mind being on the winning team for once.

I thought you'd got over all that awards and prizes nonsense?

Yeah, well... It's something to focus on, isn't it?

You're all right. You've got a ring on your finger,

Zosia's off living a good episode of Girls

and it seems I've only got work to keep me company.

-You know what you need?

-No, I definitely don't need that.

-A holiday.

-I might need that.

Ah! There we go... Consent forms.

Stevie Wondered.

-Signed, sealed, delivered.

-Oh!

-Though they're not sealed.

-Nobody likes a pedant.

-Are we all set for theatre?

-Prepped and ready.

Uh, there was a small problem with Mr Varley, but I handled it.

What kind of problem?

Just a few last-minute nerves. Nothing to worry about.

This is it. I'm officially about to go under the knife.

So if I don't post anything else by tomorrow, avenge my death.

Just kidding. Kind of.

It's time.

We'll remove the kidney from your father, then we'll take you into theatre.

What if it doesn't work?

Don't worry. I'll take good care of you.

At the risk of you saying, "I told you so,"

chest X-ray results on Mrs Oosterhause...

Nothing broken, no sign of anything on the chest wall.

I told you so.

Anybody got any bright ideas what I can do to take Ric's mind off this silly inquest business?

-Thought you said it would all blow over?

-Yeah, but still.

I was thinking a film and a takeaway, but it sounds a bit lame, doesn't it?

What is Mr Griffin's idea of a good time anyway?

Game of chess and an early night these days!

There's your answer, then.

You're no help.

Tell us something we don't know!

Thanks very much!

-So what are we going to do about Mrs O?

-Is she still here?

Might be worth calling Social Services before we discharge her.

Don't want her having another accident at home.

Lofty, I told you.

-Treat them fast and ship 'em out.

-Mm-hm.

That's the AAU way, all right?

Good news, Mrs Oosterhause. Your X-rays have come back all clear.

Oh! Well, you can call me Bedelia, luvvie.

Now, is there anyone we can call for you

to help you get settled back home?

Tidy up, maybe?

No.

But don't you worry about that, it's just me and Major Marmalade.

My little ginger Bengal.

SHE LAUGHS

Right then. Um, it's time we got you discharged.

SHE WHEEZES

Mrs Oosterhause? Bedelia?

Asthma... Asthma...

-Inhaler!

-In here?

-In my bag.

SHE GASPS

Better?

Bit of a flare-up since the fall.

Who knows what damage has been done?

SHE INHALES DEEPLY

Right. Blood vessels incised and ligated.

Ready to begin the insertion.

Here comes the tricky part.

HEART MONITOR BLEEPS STEADILY

Ms Karnik?

Uh, you asked to be kept informed...

There's been a complication with Sebastian.

He should be closed up by now.

Uh, there's been a bleed from the inferior vena cava.

Fredrik's on top of it, but we had to page CT.

Mr Rossini's on his way down now.

The electric activity from the epilepsy is travelling

down his brain stem, through the vagal nerve and into the heart.

You're saying there's a causal relationship between the seizures

and the atrial arrhythmia?

I couldn't say for certain, but that would definitely be my bet.

Well, I'm not sure Mr Drake's a gambling man.

But if I'm right I could effectively kill two birds with one stone

using intraoperative electrocorticography.

Well, let's not get carried away.

I've spent some time with Hershie and the one thing I know for certain

is that he does not want to lose his visions.

These audio-visual hallucinations he described?

It's a bit more than that.

He was diagnosed with Gastaut-Geschwind several years ago

and refused the treatment.

-So-called Dostoyevsky syndrome.

-If you prefer.

He likes to see it more of a gift than a curse.

Perhaps Dostoyevsky would have lived into his 60s

if he'd had the benefit of today's neuroscience.

But would we have Crime And Punishment? The Brothers Karamazov?

Is Mr Drake an existential novelist?

He's an amateur painter, that's entirely beside the point.

I think my ears are burning.

Relax, Hershie, we're just discussing your scan.

No, I mean my ears are REALLY burning,

it's like Satan's chimney in here.

Well, we'll have you out of there in a moment.

Shouldn't we give him the best possible shot at a long, full life?

Tell you what, why don't we ask the patient?

Cos I'm pretty sure I know exactly what he's going to say.

Uh, Mrs Oosterhause seems to be having some chest issues and her peak flow has been reduced.

-Any chance you could take a look?

-She's got you wrapped round her finger, hasn't she?

I think she could be genuine.

I am really swamped without Ric and Nina here,

and I thought that Morven drew the short straw with Mrs O?

I know, I just thought it would be good to get a second opinion.

Oh, look. It's all the Keller old boys together, is it?

I didn't mean it like that.

-You were meant to discharge her hours ago. What's the hold-up?

-Trying to be thorough.

Look, I'm not an F2 any more, Nurse Chiltern, I do know what I'm doing.

Look, no-one is suggesting otherwise.

Her X-rays were clear,

any problems with her asthma and she can follow it up with her GP.

-If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were trying to wind me up.

-Any reason for this visit, Morven?

Yes. There's an RTC coming in in ten minutes.

Let's hope we have the bed space, eh?

INAUDIBLE

Matteo.

Your patient's fine. I repaired the IVC, no harm done.

If Mr Johanssen was careless...

It wasn't his fault, these things happen.

He seems to have quite a high opinion of you, though.

What do you mean?

He could hardly stop talking about the great and powerful Ms Karnik.

-Whatever he said...

-A little overfamiliar, though.

You might want to tell him to keep out of our private business.

-Ah! Uh, Reuben's all closed up. He's in recovery.

-Thank you.

Ms MacMillan and I have been going over your MRI results, Hershie.

That's not your good-news face, is it?

We've detected what appears to be a small mass

putting pressure on your temporal lobe.

A mass?

-You mean a tumour?

-Not necessarily.

I suspect it's what we call a cerebral lesion.

Ah! Potayto, potahto.

As it grows, it's likely that your seizures will increase in frequency

and severity, which, in turn,

is doing more and more damage to your heart.

Dear lady, these aren't mere hallucinations,

they're almost tangible.

Rapturous, even.

The chance to live inside a memory, to relive it as if it were new!

-But it isn't real.

-It is to me!

And the painting...

I've never been more creative.

I'd barely picked up a brush since my school days,

got to get practical, pay the bills, and now...

It's like getting hit with divine inspiration.

I've practically filled the attic with landscapes.

We can still proceed with the mini maze.

It shouldn't impact your visons at all.

Now that's the ticket.

What I propose is called intraoperative electrocorticography.

-Say that again?

-Intraoperative electrocorticography.

-Once more.

-He's messing with you.

Right.

At any rate, the idea is I'll be able to resect the mass

and stimulate the edges where it's affecting your brain.

It's a far more invasive procedure and it carries a greater degree of risk.

And I'll lose the visions.

But it's likely you'll live longer with a greater quality of life.

Just give it some thought.

We can only give you the facts.

It's your decision.

-What did you say to Mr Rossini in theatre?

-Nothing.

Just that the two of you make quite a team

and that I'm happy to be working with you.

There's no need for you to ingratiate yourself with my...

With Mr Rossini.

I didn't mean to overstep.

Like I said this morning... I'm just keen to impress.

-Is this about the Junior Doctor Award?

-Of course.

And, not to take all the credit, but I'd like to think

I showed some initiative in keeping the transplant on track.

How so?

Mr Varley was anxious to assuage his conscience before going under.

I managed to persuade him to keep quiet until after the surgery.

-Meaning?

-The accident that killed Reuben's mother...

Turns out it didn't quite happen the way he's been led to believe.

Go and wait for me in my office.

-I'm sorry?

-Now, Mr Johanssen.

Kalgoorlie Miner?

South-west Australia. My sister moved over there with me nephews.

Only managed to visit the once, so I had to bring back a few mementos.

-Hm.

-Helps me feel closer to them.

-D'you mind?

-Not at all. No, not at all.

-Have a good root!

-SHE LAUGHS

There's a lot of stuff here.

Who's Xristos?

-Ooh, Xristos!

-SHE CHUCKLES

He was a young student I met in a little village

just outside Thessaloniki in 19... 1976.

Holiday romance.

Well, we wrote to each other, ooh, on and off for a long time.

Oh, but eventually we stopped.

These things always do.

And you've kept them all this time?

I know I'm sentimental, but that's just the way I am, you see.

People call it hoarding, but they don't understand.

Too quick to judge, that's their problem.

D'you have much more of this at home?

Oh, um, just a few bits and bobs. Keepsakes and the like.

Right, Mrs Oosterhause.

We'll replenish your inhalers at the pharmacy here.

In the meantime, I've written a referral to your GP

to check up on your asthma.

Looks like it's time for you to go home.

Oh. Oh, I see, well...

Oh, well, thank you for all your time.

-Can I take a look at that for you?

-Oh... It's just a touch of eczema.

Probably something else you can check up with your GP, eh?

-How long has it been this bad?

-Lofty?

-It comes and goes.

-You didn't say anything sooner.

-Lofty?

Well, I don't want to be a burden.

I know what you all think.

-FREDRIK:

-If Reuben found out the truth,

he might have called off the whole transplant.

That was HIS decision to make.

What good would have come from telling him?

At least this way he has a functioning kidney

and plenty of time to deal with their family issues later.

That's not the point and you know it.

We're not responsible for the secrets patients keep.

We have a duty of care.

You made yourself complicit in a lie.

That is completely unethical behaviour.

What about YOUR lie?

I beg your pardon?

From what Mr Rossini said in theatre,

it's fairly obvious you haven't told him...

Whatever you think you may know, my personal business is exactly that.

Personal.

A father shouldn't be kept from his children.

As a doctor, you have an obligation to disclose anything that may affect

a patient's decision to give informed consent.

Especially during a live procedure.

What were you thinking?

Honestly?

I thought you'd be impressed.

Reuben needed a kidney, not a melodrama.

Let me be perfectly clear, we cannot withhold information.

Sometimes the truth may hurt, but it's all that matters.

30-minute obs on Mr Varley. I will join you shortly.

That's all.

HE CONVULSES

That was a big one.

Now, your heart rate's not showing any signs of slowing down.

Let's get you into theatre as soon as possible.

I saw my daughter the day she was born.

So beautiful.

-You never mentioned her.

-Klea. I told her not to come in.

She wanted to,

but there's no sense taking a day off work to sit around here.

A routine op, I said.

Well, do you want us to give her a call?

Seems like the thing to do if I'm going to have brain surgery.

You've made your decision, then?

Seeing her past is no consolation if I don't get to see her future.

Are you sure you fully understand the risks?

Let's play for all the marbles.

OK. I'll be back to talk through all the consent forms.

I'll start prepping for theatre.

There's a clear neurocardiac crossover here.

I trust that you'll be willing to sit in?

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

-Guess I should get scrubbed up, then?

-Sorry, three's a crowd.

I can keep out of the way.

I don't mind just standing still and holding equipment.

You're just describing a shelf.

-Do you think it's serious?

-I do not.

-Skin cancer?

-I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

What about necrotising fasciitis? I saw a documentary.

Bedelia, please.

Who's going to look after the Major?

-Major Marmalade. It's a ginger cat.

-Oh, yeah. I know him well.

I haven't even made a will.

What if the cats' home won't take him?

Try not to panic.

We'll get these up to the lab and have this cleared up in no time.

Oh, you are sweet. Isn't he sweet?

Oh, yes. Positively winsome!

We're two of a kind, you know. I knew as soon as we got chatting.

-Lone wolves in a feral world. Kindred spirits.

-Mm.

We'll let you know once we get the results back.

If you need anything, just give me a shout.

Great. Lovely. I'll just take that...

Adam?

Ooh!

-SIGHING:

-So much for five minutes' peace and quiet.

OK.

Just listen to me.

-I want you to stay.

-Don't make a fool of yourself.

I mean it. Everything has changed.

Nothing's changed. Nothing's changed for the last ten years!

That's the whole problem.

-You're angry with me, and I understand that.

-I'm not angry.

But I can only apologise so many times.

Ask yourself, did we keep this going for the last ten years

because we love each other,

or because we felt guilty?

Well...

I know I hurt you, but...I never thought you could be so cruel.

Cruel?! You're the one who thought I was capable of harming our son.

I never said that!

You're so obsessed, so fixated, you can't see beyond that day.

Nobody else matters to you except him.

I am thinking about the future. OUR future.

Not everything I do and say and think and feel comes back to Nico.

What else do we have left?

Accept it. I've fallen out of love with you.

-Nothing you can say is going to change that.

-Don't do this.

Not now.

Not like this.

Let me go, Nina.

Hey.

Well, you'll be pleased to know that the kidney is functioning well.

Going to keep you in for a few days, just to keep an eye on you.

But, um, very soon you'll be able to tell all those followers of yours

that it was a success.

Maybe later.

DOOR OPENS

-Dad!

-Hey!

How you feeling?

Stupid question, huh?

Still, you're... You're looking good.

Never better. Thanks to you.

I really don't think he should be out of bed.

I have an apology to make.

I kept something from you before the transplant.

Your father wanted to tell you, but I talked him out of it.

Maybe we should leave this for later.

He has to know.

I don't... I don't get it. What's the punch line?

It was my fault. The night we lost your mum.

I wanted to be honest with you from the start,

but you have to understand.

I did it for YOU, it was always for you.

I really think this conversation should wait

until Reuben is a little stronger.

Let him finish.

I... I pulled her out and I...

I tried to save her,

but when the ambulance came, it was just too late.

And then the police started asking all these questions.

You lied.

You were driving.

It was you, not her.

It was too late, she was gone already.

There was nothing I could do.

But there was still YOU.

And if I had gone to prison...

-..who was going to take care of you?

-How many?

-How many did you have?

-Reubs, please...

-How many?!

Four. Five, I mean, what-what does it matter?

-You OK?

-Have you seen Ms Karnik?

Why?

Well, Fredrik's in there conducting some sort of confessional

and it's just neither the time, nor the place.

Uh, she said something about going to Darwin,

but I can have a word if you want?

-ALARM BLEEPS

-Well...

-Reuben?

-BP's dropping. 80 over 50.

-Reuben?!

-He's tachycardic.

-Wake him up!

-OK, it's probably a bleed from the anastomosis.

-Do something!

-I'm going to go and find Ms Karnik now.

-We can't wait for her.

-Wake him up!

CLANGING

We need to get him back into theatre, NOW.

Have you got a sec?

Uh, not really, mate, no.

Skin biopsy results on Mrs O.

Oh, throw it on the pile and take a number.

I'm sorry if I'm trying too hard today.

OK, Lofty, here's trying too hard, and here's you.

For what it's worth, I'm just trying to make a good impression.

First day on AAU and all that.

Job well done, mate. Job well done.

For what it's worth, I'm starting to see what you meant about Mrs O.

-Oh! Really, now?!

-You're really enjoying this, aren't you?

Yeah, just a little bit, yeah.

How about you put this to the top of your pile

and I'll discharge her PDQ?

-Promises, promises...

-Hm?

All right. I suppose I have missed this a little bit.

Playing Cluedo with the symptoms.

Tracking down strange and exotic illnesses like a medical Marple.

-SHE LAUGHS

-You'd look good in a straw hat.

Hang on, is this...?

What?

Crikey.

Is everything all right? Are you having your revenge?

If only.

Talk to me.

He's bleeding out.

I think one of the sutures from the anastomosis may have torn.

Well, good thing someone was here to get him back into theatre.

Let's see what we're dealing with.

AIR SUCKS

It's a bleed from the iliac artery.

Can I have a clamp and 5-0 Prolene, please?

We're not losing this kidney.

OK, I'm going to begin the electrocortical stimulation.

We're just going to ask you a few simple questions to make sure

you're cognisant throughout.

Yeah. My specialist subject's...

impressionism.

Well, that's not an area I can help you with, I'm afraid.

Beginning at 2 milliamps.

OK. Well, starter for ten - your daughter's birthday?

January 3...

..'92.

-OK. How about your first job?

-Hah!

Renovating old houses with my dad.

-Ah.

-I could've gone to art school, but "Learn a trade", he said.

"Hobbies don't put roof over your head."

-HERSHIE CHUCKLES

-Increasing to 4 milliamps.

Regrets?

God, no.

He was dead right.

-I said the same thing to Klea when she went to...

-ALARM BLEEPS

-BP's rising. 100 over 50.

-What have you done?

Nothing. There's no sign of a bleed.

-OK. Well, we have to abort.

-It could just be another seizure.

I said you were pushing too hard. I knew this was a bad idea.

-I know what I'm doing.

-Where have I heard that before?

If the seizure passes, I should be able to continue with the stimulus.

That's not a risk I'm willing to take. Close up the cranium.

Let's revert to a mini maze.

No, we just need to stabilise the bradycardia and stay the course.

-You ready for a GA?

-Oliver, look at me.

We can do this, but we have to work together.

I've resutured the iliac artery. Removing the clamp.

No sign of the bleeding.

Blood pressure's stabilising, 120 over 70.

How's the kidney looking?

Colour's returning. I think we got to it in time.

Nicely done.

Let's close up. Swab, please.

Thank you.

Somebody want to explain to me how he got into this mess?

I was just being honest, like you told me.

No, that's not what I said.

Reuben had to know the truth, or did I misunderstand?

Your timing leaves a lot to be desired, for a start.

Not to mention your sensitivity.

But the main thing is Reuben is going to be fine

and we managed to save the kidney.

The bleeding could have happened at any time.

If anything, it was lucky I was there.

Excuse me? I believe I was the one doing the post-op obs, thank you.

-Dom.

-What? I'm just saying.

If it wasn't for me, the patient might be on dialysis right now.

Maybe if you'd been here yourself you'd realise that.

They're called dermatophagoides microceras.

-It's the house dust mite.

-Oh, good gravy!

-Yeah. Um, they're burrowing into your skin, causing the rash...

-Oh!

..and then the allergic reaction is exacerbating your asthma.

I'm afraid we're going to have to take your papers and things.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no. You-you... You can't do that.

All this stuff gathering dust at home

is creating the perfect environment for the mites to spread.

I do clean, you know.

I dust, I run the Hoover around. It's perfectly tidy.

Bedelia, no-one's passing judgment.

We are, however, obliged to inform Social Services.

Oh, I see. I see what this is.

We just need to make sure you're not putting your health at risk.

We'll prescribe Permethrin cream, which should address the symptoms,

but the real key is addressing the cause, Bedelia.

I thought you were different. But you're not.

You are just the same as her.

Could I have everyone's attention for just a moment?

Here it comes.

Actually, I wanted to say well done.

I think we can all agree today could have been handled better, but that is on me.

Well, we're all muddling through as best we can in the current climate.

Yes, well, I may have spread myself a little thin today

when I should have been leading by example.

You've had a lot to deal with.

I'll speak to the board about smoothing over transplant procedures

in future, but there simply isn't any more money in the budget...

You don't need to give me the full speech, I'm realistic.

C'est la vie.

In any case, thank you all for your efforts.

If Reuben or his father have any complaints,

I'll assume full responsibility.

How are you feeling?

Empty.

It's all gone, isn't it?

Well, we've successfully resected the lesion.

We'll need to monitor you,

but you haven't had a seizure since your surgery.

No more visions either.

You sound disappointed.

I had something special and now it's gone.

But life only moves in a forward direction,

whether we want it to or not.

How very profound.

I was working on it before you came over.

BOTH CHUCKLE

You'll keep painting, though?

Just need to find a new source of inspiration.

Hershie, looking good!

-Got a visitor here for you.

-Dad!

Klea!

How you feeling?

Best day of my life.

-The kidney?

-We got to it in time.

We're going to keep a close eye on you for the next few days,

look out for signs of early rejection, but...

I'm cautiously optimistic.

Hey!

I've got your dad here if you're up for it?

You don't have to do this.

I know.

I want to.

Hey!

I was...worried you might not want to see me again.

Seemed only fair. You saved my life, after all.

Well, least I could do.

Listen.

I know what I did was unforgiveable,

but we've been given a second chance.

The kidney match, that's got to be a sign, surely.

A chance to make amends.

-HE SCOFFS

-Can you hear yourself?

When they told me you asked to see me, I... Well, I-I thought that...

You THOUGHT?

You killed her.

You were drunk and you... covered it up to save your own skin.

Reuben, please...

Don't pretend you did anything for me.

You did it for yourself.

Soon as I'm back on my feet, I... I'm going to leave.

Travel. Don't try and call me because I won't answer.

-Where will you go?

-Anywhere away from you.

Well...

I'll always be here.

You know that.

And if...WHEN you come back...

I'll be waiting.

Maybe someday...

This is all I've got, you know.

I mean, some people have photo albums and what have you.

And nobody goes into their house and takes it all away.

They're making you sick. They'll never take away your memories.

And what are you going to do with them?

It's most likely they'll be incinerated.

Um, we'll probably have to keep you isolated

to prevent the mites from spreading until it's safe for you to go home.

The Major?

Somebody from Social Services will take him to the RSPCA.

Oh, I don't suppose you'd...?

Well, I mean, you wouldn't go and see him for me, would you?

Oh, I don't know...

I mean, it would be nice to know

that somebody kind was taking care of him.

I'll see what I can do.

These things aren't going to spread all across the ward, are they?

I think we've got it contained,

but, yeah, maybe we should put her in the side room

just to be on the safe side, eh?

Right, that's the last of it.

That's got to be an AAU record.

You actually managed to diagnose the infamous Bedelia Oosterhause!

-With a little help from my friends.

-Aw!

-Go on, you can say it.

-Say what?

-"I told you so".

I wouldn't do that.

No, go on. I was wrong. You was right.

Go on, say it. I can take it.

You weren't wrong, she was milking it.

You just weren't expecting to find something wrong with her.

Why don't we just say you were both wrong?

How about we go for a drink when we're finished? My shout?

Do you know what? That's the best thing you've said all day, mister!

As long as you wash your hands first.

Yeah, gross.

I feel I owe you an apology.

There's no need.

HE SIGHS

I thought it wouldn't be a problem.

But sometimes...

..I can't help wondering what we could have done differently,

and when I saw those scans, I thought...

..maybe...

I understand.

How is it that we can save so many patients,

like Hershie, countless others, but not her?

James Chadwick.

That was the name of the very first patient I lost.

-Do you remember yours?

-Kelly...

..Blackman.

She had a bleed on the brain and I missed it.

That was a hard lesson.

What about the second? Or the tenth? Or the 18th?

At what point do we stop counting?

When do we stop remembering their names?

Eventually we have to.

Doesn't mean they matter any less.

So Tara was just a patient, is that it?

-SIGHING:

-Not to you.

I was her doctor, but she'll always be your wife.

Perhaps that's the best way to remember her.

If there was a chance,

-just the tiniest of chances that something...

-There wasn't.

I did everything I could.

We have to accept the reality that that isn't always enough.

I know you tried.

That's all we can ever do.

I made a mistake today.

I understand that now.

It was my fault and I'm prepared to accept the consequences.

I appreciate the gesture, but the buck has to stop with me.

And it's fair to say I've been more than a little preoccupied today.

-The baby?

-Please don't.

I'm sorry if I put any extra pressure on you today.

That wasn't my intension.

And the truth is...

..Sara's left me.

She's taken Oskar back to Sweden with her.

-Now I have no-one.

-I'm sorry to hear that.

If I seemed...insensitive to your situation, I apologise.

Accepted. And I appreciate you not mentioning it to Mr Rossini.

If I can ask...

..why the big secret?

Matteo and I are not in a very good place right now.

I tried telling him, but...

we're so far apart, it would seem like an obligation.

That's not how I want it to be.

You don't have to worry. He won't hear anything from me.

Fredrik, are you still interested in applying for the Junior Doctor Award?

Well, after today I assumed Mr Copeland was the leading candidate.

You came through in a pinch. That has to count for something.

You have a lot to learn, but that is the point of having a supervisor.

Well, I'd be honoured.

If Mr Levy has no objections, I'd be happy to support you.

I look forward to working with you.

Heard you pulled off a bit of magic in theatre today.

Temporary pacemaker during an awake craniotomy?

Just another day in the office.

-Sorry I missed it!

-Ha!

Damon, I think I may have underestimated the competition

for the CCG funding.

I could use your help, if you're interested?

How does, uh, Deputy Project Coordinator sound?

-LIFT DINGS

-Amazing. What does that mean?

Nothing in practice, but it will look good on a CV.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors opening.

-Doors closing.

-Uh...

I'm told a few people are heading to the bar across the road.

-Albie's.

-Right, I'm down for that.

-Oliver?

-Some other time, maybe.

I know today's been difficult, but if you're willing, I'd...

like us to start again.

-Let past be prologue to a new working relationship.

-Agreed.

But just so you know, I've been pursuing funding

for my chest reconstruction project for months,

so if you're planning on making a bid for the grant,

you'll have a fight on your hands.

In an ideal word, I suppose the doors would've just opened then

and you'd make a dramatic exit.

Ideally, that would have been great.

Thank you.

I can't believe she picked Fredrik over you,

especially after what he did today.

Yeah, well, it's a Mickey Mouse award anyway. Who cares?

You're buying, remember?

-Uh, no, don't worry about it. It's on me.

-You sure?

Yeah! Think about it as your, uh, welcome to AAU.

-FREDRIK:

-I meant what I said about your situation.

I've got your back.

I appreciate it. It's really just a question of timing.

You won't be able to hide it forever.

I know.

But until I can get back what I had with Matteo,

until I can be sure it's for the right reasons,

this has to stay between us.

You can trust me. You have my word.