The L Word Holby City

What does it mean for the trial?

Naturally, we need to find the source of the trouble

so we can ensure it doesn't happen again.

So we carry on?

You are so patronising!

This is the real world, love! It's time to grow a pair!

If I've been too tough on you, then I'll ease off.

The day Elaine Warren died, there was a trauma course for nurses.

And one nurse does stand out - Amira Zafar.

You'll need to talk to the social worker

about your best options going forward.

That's code for sticking me in a home.

Roxanna's dementia project? It has to be her. Choose hers.

The woman has an unhealthy obsession me.

Last night, I woke up at 4:00 in the morning

to find her watching me sleeping.

I've been doing some thinking about this TMS of yours.

If I could authorise the purchase of that machine myself, I would.

POUNDING HEARTBEAT

DISTANT SIREN WAILS

BIRDSONG

SHE SIGHS

CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC

In everyone's life, there is someone...

..that one defining someone...

..who takes your life...

..and changes it.

Someone who...

..who is...

was...

SHE SIGHS

SHE SIGHS

What is a tasting menu, anyway? Surely every menu gets tasted?

That's half the point of eating.

All right, fine.

We'll go to whatever low-rent chicken shack that you prefer.

But I at least want to go to the theatre.

That all depends. Do I have to wear a suit, or...?

Should it be this much effort to treat the man you love?

I didn't use that word.

-ELEVATOR BLEEPS

-Excuse me!

-Gran!

-She's having chest pains. We're going to Darwin.

Well, I'll come with you.

I just looked in on Mr Valentine.

He seems very positive about the TMS.

He's certainly going in with the right attitude, that's for sure.

You meant that as a bad thing.

Well, I wouldn't want hopes to get too inflated, yours or his.

Have you thought about any other patients

you might like to include in the trial?

I mean, beyond Oliver.

If that's your less-than-subtle way of asking

if I'm still watching him sleep, then the answer is no.

You didn't mention the university have dedicated a lab to David.

I've been invited to the ceremony.

-Are you going to speak?

-That's the idea.

Sorry to interrupt.

Have Fiona's postmortem results come back yet? I think we need to...

Not yet. I'll find you later.

I trust if expectations get too high,

you will inject a dose of reality, won't you?

Cruel to be kind, and all that.

The last thing he needs is another setback.

He won't get one, you have my word.

The X-ray looks fine.

ECG shows no sign of a heart attack, and the echo's clear.

-Which leaves us where?

-PE, most likely.

Sounds like something kids do in plimsolls.

It stands for pulmonary embolism.

It means you have a blockage in a main artery.

Specifically the vessel that carries blood from the heart to the lungs.

We'll need to do a scan to determine how big the blockage is.

If it's small, we can treat it with anticoagulants.

Well, my luck's never been that good.

What if it's big?

Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Best case scenario, you're going to have a surgery.

Worst case scenario, you're not going to make it that far.

Well...little rays of sunshine, you two.

Ms Petrenko is taking the lead on this, but I'll be overseeing.

You're in safe hands.

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Look at his face!

Someone stick the kettle on and stop being so serious!

Good call.

Come on, you.

LOFTY SIGHS

If I lose her...

She's only just getting her head around having a stroke.

I need to call Occupational Therapy,

let them know they need to change the care package.

OK. Well, you don't need to do that right this minute.

I need to let them know so they can change the access visit.

If it is PE, she won't be discharged any time soon.

Can you keep an eye on her while I pop downstairs?

Of course I will.

I'll give Sacha a call and explain.

I'm sure he can manage without me for one day.

Thanks.

-I was getting one for myself, anyway, so I thought...

-Oh!

A kind gesture, but one Mr Duval has rather beaten you to, I'm afraid.

At this rate, someone'll have to

scrape me off the ceiling by lunchtime.

Ooh! I knew I should have bought a few more.

Next time, you're first in the queue.

I don't want to tell tales,

but I saw some of the nurses taking more than one.

He's learning, isn't he?

Nothing makes people love you like free cake.

OK. Ready to start?

Activating the pulse sequence.

HE EXHALES

SOFT WHIRRING

CREAKING

HE GASPS

I can feel that!

CREAKING

CREAKING

Feels like it might be working.

Is that even possible, or am I grasping at straws here?

-Anything's possible.

-Right. Well, don't hold back.

I want to get all the benefit I can out of this.

CREAKING

Let me know if you feel anything else.

CREAKING

CREAKING

CREAKING

I tried looking Amira up on the internet.

I've been into the nursing agency, but they won't give out her details.

I thought anyone could be found online these days.

Turns out not. Just my luck, eh?

People use different names if they don't want to be found.

Meanwhile, I have a hospital to run, a ward to manage,

and doctors to mentor.

The world keeps turning.

Talk about needle in a haystack.

Amira could be anywhere now she's left the profession.

Well, let's not give up just yet.

Cos if she is the one Ric asked to get the anticoagulants,

-then it's a game-changer.

-I know.

I know what's at stake here, there's just nothing I can do about it.

Well, let me see if I can flex my newly-found management muscles.

The nursing agency might just be a bit more willing to talk to me.

-OK.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Ah, Ms Campbell, look what I found.

Save it for one of the nurses, Mr Duval.

Now, I'm going to be in and out of theatre most of the day.

-I trust you can keep this show on the road?

-Er...

-Are you sure?

-I'll be under the same roof this time.

No, that was my fault, not yours.

But let's neither of us repeat our mistakes.

-I won't let you down.

-I don't doubt it.

Especially as you'll have Dr McKendrick to help.

Well, I wouldn't say I need any help, as such.

Listen to me.

I mentor you, the registrar, who, in turn, mentors the F1.

It's how this thing works.

I'll be checking in on you, so play nice.

Nurse Di Lucca said that you were in here. Is everything OK?

More than. It's just come back!

The research grant,

the chest wall reconstruction project you told me about.

You remember?

I was up all night for a week perfecting my pitch.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

It turns out having magnetic fields

moulding my grey matter really suits me.

Ollie, I'm thrilled!

"Choose hers."

What does that mean, do you suppose?

You gave up your chance of a grant...

so that my project could get funding.

Ah! Well, that was awfully nice of me.

You came to believe that my research was the worthier.

That's strange...

That of all the memories that could have come flooding back,

I get one relating to you.

After these kind of injuries,

when you've been spending a lot of time with someone,

you start to recall specific memories associated with them.

So, my brain's opened the file marked, "Roxanna MacMillan"?

-Something like that.

-And there's nothing else?

Any other reason I'd have stepped away?

The important thing to take from this...

is that you're starting to remember.

Don't tell me that you're the

stay-at-home-on-a-Friday-and-jigsaw type.

I couldn't bear for my Benjy to end up with one of those.

Well, we've only had two dates, so...

I've got mayonnaise in my fridge that's been there longer.

Oh! Well, my grandson doesn't do casual.

He's like his grandfather.

I was his one and only.

Well, I don't think I'm Lofty's one and only.

Besides, I'm much more interested in playing the field at the moment.

I'm not fooled.

I've seen the way you look at Ben.

So, what about this dropping-down-dead situation?

Pulmonary embolisms are very serious.

But if the worst were to happen, you are in the right place.

If, or when?

It could happen today,

it could happen in a few weeks' time, who knows?

But the main thing is that you're... taking it easy.

I can't relax unless I know the full facts.

If the worst happened...

..what then?

Your heart would probably stop, and you would need resuscitating.

-And then what?

-I really don't think this is...

There'd be breathing machines, and so on?

Probably...

but it's really not for me to say.

SHE SIGHS

Your turn to roll.

-So, how did it go this morning?

-Baby steps in the right direction.

One small step for a man with a fully-functioning brain,

one giant leap for the likes of me.

Of course, I still struggle to make a cup of tea,

and only recall a few minor details relating to Roxanna,

but it's a start.

Oliver remembered our rather ignominious scrap

over some research funding a few months ago.

Blimey!

Of all the memories in all the world...

-That's what I said.

-It's not that unusual.

I'm the face he's seen the most of since the accident.

Plus, she's promised me that I'll be cured soon.

No wonder my brain thinks you're a significant figure.

Listen, I was after a second opinion on another patient.

I hope you don't mind my cutting in.

Before you start, I didn't promise him anything.

He barely remembers his own wife,

yet can recall some jostle over funding.

Like I told Ollie, it's normal.

I'm close. The brain makes leaps like that.

I was thinking you two might be functioning

like your classic doctor-patient by now.

-We are.

-Do you need me to step in for a while,

-give you some breathing space?

-Not necessary.

When I said your obsession made you brilliant,

I was talking about professional obsession.

-And I took it on board.

-So, what is this?

This is all Ollie.

He's the one getting overexcited, he's the one expecting miracles.

I'm doing absolutely nothing whatsoever to encourage it.

Yeah, I've been on hold 15 minutes.

If he fails as a surgeon, he'll make a good orderly.

What, Dom? No, he's doing great.

We could do with a bit more love round here, if you ask me.

-You have somebody in particular in mind?

-Behave.

Anyway, you'd have to be daft to take on an old nag like me.

-There we are.

-Tea the colour of gnat's pee.

I'd rather face death than drink that!

-THEY CHUCKLE

-Well, it's all a ruse to cover my tracks.

Oh! You sly dog!

I love it!

But we will have to wait to see whether or not

you're going to need surgery first.

Spoilsport!

You're trying to butter me up, aren't you?

Very suspicious.

Sheilagh, you had me worried earlier with all that talk about what if.

I just need the truth.

If anything happens, and I'm in here

for a minute longer than I have to be, I...

SHE SIGHS

I think you need to prepare yourself for a...fairly long stay.

Yes, I thought you might say that.

Which is why I've come up with a backup plan.

Oh?

I'm going to sign one of those forms

saying to let me go when the time comes.

No heroic measures.

A DNAR?

No, Sheilagh, Sheilagh, we are not at that stage yet...

And I don't intend to get there.

SHE SIGHS

I've always relied on my gut instinct...

..and I'm not about to stop now.

So I hear you got a visit from the Great and Powerful Oz earlier on.

If you're referring to Professor Gaskell, then yes.

Or is he the guy who works the levers behind the big face?

-I can never quite remember.

-He was checking in on Ollie.

-It's pretty good of him if you ask me.

-Amazing he can spare the time.

So, did you get to speak to him, or not?

I tried. I just want to get to the bottom of why our patient died,

and then I can stop obsessing about it.

But he didn't have time, so he'll catch me later.

Ah, just the woman I was looking for.

I have a patient, and I think there might be a neuro angle,

so I wondered if you'd care to dive in.

I'd love to, but I'm due in theatre with Ollie in 30 minutes.

Twice in one day?

Got to make hay while the sun shines.

Absolutely.

It's like Ollie's got his own personal neurosurgeon.

-I'm telling you, it's him!

-His chin's not...chiselled enough.

His face is plastered all over town. I'd recognise him anywhere.

Slimmer's Sausages. That's him, isn't it?

Yeah, but what's the point in being that good looking

if you can't even eat a proper sausage?

Let's get Mr Heron here a gastroscopy and CT.

-He'll need an IV, and he's nil by mouth.

-OK.

Oh, vomiting for the past three days.

FLETCH AND DONNA: That'll be the sausages.

THEY CHUCKLE

What's this?

-What, an e-mail address?

-I went to the agency.

What, and they crumbled in the face of your Director of Nursing power?

Not even a little bit.

But then I remembered Amira sent me a couple of e-mails

from her personal address.

You're like a real-life Sherlock Holmes, you are.

Well, most people have a couple of e-mail addresses.

-She might not even check it.

-There's only one way to find out. Come on.

Er...right.

Erm...what shall we tell her?

-Er...

-The truth?

-No.

Um...she used to be a nurse.

Tell her she's owed money. That'll get her down here.

Activating magnetic pulse sequence.

Let's make this session a bit longer than the last.

-Ollie...

-Come on, we've had some success earlier.

Does no harm to push things a bit.

Or do you not want me to get better?

OK, 40 minutes, but that's it.

At this rate, I'll be dancing the Macarena in no time.

CREAKING

Your little, sweet, old lady just took me for £50.

We were playing ladders and snakes.

SHE SIGHS

You're making a very bad decision based on a knee jerk reaction.

You've given me all the facts.

One day I'll be fine, and the next,

something will pop in my heart, and I'll drop down dead,

and be on a life-support machine.

I thought I was getting better.

Recovering from the stroke, and now things are ten times worse!

Sheilagh, I'm... I'm sorry,

I know it must seem like that, but it's a lot more complicated.

Meanwhile, my heart might give out. Well, why not let it?

You don't think Lofty's going to let you go through with this, do you?

Which is why you're not going to tell him.

It's my business, not his.

It's up to me to decide where I'm going to end my days.

And not he or anyone else is going to stick their oar in.

Well, I hope you don't expect me to hide this from him.

Why not?

It's not as if you're his boyfriend, or anything, is it?

People always ask the same question. "Where were you discovered?"

But the truth is, most models aren't discovered

any more than Einstein or Freud were.

So, you're comparing someone who poses for pictures

to the greatest minds of their generation?

I'm just saying it takes hard work

to get some of the campaigns I've been doing the past year.

Aren't you advertising sausages at the moment?

And electric blankets. They're not just for old people, you know.

Gastroscopy and CT are all normal.

Well, it can't be food poisoning.

I've been on a juice cleanse since last Wednesday.

And you reckon that's healthy?

We're probably looking at IBS.

-Treatable?

-Very, now we've caught it.

Well, unless we haven't. It could be something else entirely.

Inflammatory bowel disease.

Good call, Dr McKendrick.

We'll do a small bowel MRI just to be sure.

SHE COUGHS

It's not just that she's giving up on herself,

she's giving up on Lofty, as well, and...he loves his nan.

They're unlike any family I've ever met.

-They actually like each other.

-Very strange.

-Mmm.

I don't know, maybe I should just tell him.

I'm not bound by confidentiality. She's not my patient.

She trusted you. Blabbing would feel wrong.

No, not to me.

-Although this whole situation just feels wrong.

-Agreed.

OLLIE SIGHS

I could talk to her.

Maybe talking to someone that's basically screwed health-wise

would make her see sense.

-Well...that would be amazing. That's not why I came down here.

-Ah.

Look, I know I'm a guy with a damaged frontal lobe,

but there is one thing I don't get about all this.

-What?

-Why do you care so much?

DOM CHUCKLES

Lofty's like a big puppy dog.

Seeing him upset would be like seeing Snoopy cry.

-You love him.

-Don't be ridiculous!

You do. Look at your face! You've gone all red and embarrassed.

You're like a massive bundle of love!

-Dom and Lofty up a tree...

-Now you're just being juvenile.

Have you been K-I-S-S-I-N-G?

Why can't people get that we are just casual?

OLLIE LAUGHS Maybe because you're bending over backwards

to save his grandmother, and you're worried if HE'S going to be upset.

You just wouldn't do that if...

Ollie?

Huh? You wouldn't do those things if you didn't love him.

Sorry, my... My brain.

It's piecing something together.

It... It's not as quick as it once was.

HE CHUCKLES I'll get there.

Is Fletch about?

Apparently I'm owed some money.

I knew my last pay packet seemed light.

Actually, it wasn't.

-We all think that every month.

-DONNA CHUCKLES

Er...except I'm owed for when I covered that MAJAX

at the last minute.

Can I have a word?

It's offensive, is what it is, snakes and ladders.

-It's for five-year-olds.

-What choice do I have?

There's no-one else around here willing to make trouble.

Until now. THEY CHUCKLE

Well, not so bone-idle any more, I see.

Well, they still like to push me around, but this thing...

Well, it gives me a modicum of autonomy. You?

Big Mouth has filled you in already, hasn't he?

No, don't pretend he hasn't.

He means well.

Usually code for not listening, isn't it?

-You're not talking like a doc any more - you're one of us now!

-Ah!

SHEILAGH CHUCKLES

What's he doing here?

Erm...

he's just doing me a favour.

-Don't expect too much of him.

-OK.

She's of sound mind,

even if that mind is full of celebrity gossip and lewd jokes.

She knows all the pertinent information.

It's not up to you to persuade her.

Thank you.

Think back, OK?

You told me that a consultant was dealing with a manic AAU,

asking for test results and drugs, and....

We think that consultant was Ric Griffin,

and he wasn't chasing results,

he was asking for anticoagulants for a patient.

Griffin, as in the doctor who killed someone?

Erm...he's in a bit of trouble, yeah.

Because a woman died,

and he can't prove that he tried to do his best by her.

He thought that she'd been given the drugs he prescribed, but she hadn't.

I remember he asked about something for a patient,

but he was gone before I could catch what he said properly.

But he tried, yeah?

It was definitely you that he asked for anticoagulants?

I told you, I haven't a clue what he asked.

He gave an order, but I don't know if he was even talking to me.

I'm accustomed to people looking me in the eye

-if they're asking me a favour.

-So he...

He gave an order, so if you didn't understand,

why didn't you follow it up, or tell someone?

You're accusing me of doing something wrong,

but I wasn't even meant to be there that day.

And I'm not even a nurse any more.

We need you to go to the police and tell them the truth.

-You might have to stand up in court.

-No way!

-I can't get caught up in this.

-No, no, no.

I know it sounds scary, but he needs you.

I don't need this. Get out of my way.

Donna.

What did you do that for?

You can't make people do things they don't want to do.

Well, I am not giving up that easily. Ric wouldn't.

Why haven't you told me about David's memorial?

I thought we were here to discuss Ollie.

Well, the two are related, don't you think?

Let me take over the lead on Ollie's case.

Take a step back, for both your sakes.

For both our sakes? John, you're making more of this than there is.

You reckon?

How much overtime have you clocked up in the last couple of weeks?

How many other patients have you passed on to colleagues

so you can concentrate on this one?

I'm saying this as a friend.

I told you. I can handle it.

Amira?

Amira!

Amira...

Get away from me! You do know I work in a shoe shop now?

-All this is nothing to do with me any more!

-I know. I know.

And trust me, I wish I didn't have to ask you to do any of this.

I know how you feel.

I've been called as a witness in the trial, too,

and the thought of standing up in court is keeping me awake at night.

So why are you trying to make me do it?

Because you could save a decent man from going to prison

for something he didn't do.

You're not in any trouble.

And no matter what you say up there,

you're not going to get in any trouble,

but you need to do this.

Trust me. Please.

I don't need to do anything.

You would never have gotten into this job

if you didn't want to do some good.

You still can.

I'll think about it.

DONNA SIGHS

DISTANT SIREN WAILS

I'm so delighted you changed your mind and decided to consult.

-Me too.

-I know what you've been keeping from me!

-I worked it out!

-Looks like you're needed.

-Now, if you want to step out, that's absolutely fine.

-Absolutely not.

Did Zosia know?

About us. Did your husband...?

-Ollie, I don't know what you think...

-I remember...

telling someone that I loved them.

Feeling so strongly about it, and...

Well, the evidence all adds up - it has to be you!

I abandoned my research project for your sake, I... I saved your life,

and you, you... You've been by my side day in, day out,

like a devoted nursemaid. Of course we're in love!

I can't believe I didn't spot it before!

Maybe you should talk somewhere private.

-Do you want to use the office?

-No, that wouldn't be appropriate.

Why are you being embarrassed?

It's not like we have to be secretive any more.

-Ollie...

-Do you have any idea what it's like

to only remember snapshots of your life?

You can help me - why won't you?

I need to understand where these breadcrumbs are leading me.

-I'm sorry. I have to go.

-Roxanna! Roxanna...

-Wait!

-Ollie...

If this is really what you want...

you need to sign it, and then give it to a nurse,

who will put it on your notes.

I've signed it to say that you're of capacity,

and another doctor has co-signed.

Whatever you decide...

HE SIGHS

..please consider Lofty.

SHE SIGHS

-Say, "Sausages."

-Sausages.

MRI was normal, so that rules out IBD,

and the vomiting symptoms are too severe to be IBS.

We're sure he isn't lying about not being able to keep anything down?

I've had a wardrobe change to prove it.

Well, actually, all that proves is that he's vomiting.

Munchausen's?

Well, he could have easily taken something to make himself throw up.

And he's certainly lapping up all the attention.

There's two kisses.

Don't tell anyone, or they'll all be after the special treatment.

-Is that you?

-I lost 10 stone in two years.

I told you it took hard work to be this good looking.

That is a lot of weight.

-Was that rude?

-Actually, it's a compliment.

Or a cause.

Henrik, it's me.

I suppose you've heard about the dedication to David.

It's an honour, really.

I need to...

Just call me when you get this.

MACHINES BLEEP

SHEILAGH GASPS FOR BREATH

BLEEPING QUICKENS

RAPID BLEEPING

-MUTED:

-Dom?

Dom? Dom, oxygen!

SHEILAGH GASPS FOR BREATH

RAPID BLEEPING

SHEILAGH BREATHES DEEPLY

She might come round to the idea.

She doesn't even know Ric.

What are the chances that a stranger

will put themselves through all of that?

I haven't even heard of SMA syndrome before.

It's when a part of the intestine becomes compressed

between two arteries, causing a blockage.

It can happen to people with severe weight loss.

See? I'm not all about the bling.

Well, it should earn you a few brownie points with Ms Campbell.

What, more than coffee and doughnuts, do you think?

I'm a registrar. I'm supposed to expect the unexpected.

If an F1 had picked up on something like this, on the other hand...

But I didn't, did I?

You're saying you'd hand me the credit

for an awesome diagnosis, on a plate, for no reason?

It wouldn't be for no reason.

It would be to prove to you that we're actually on the same side.

RAPID BLEEPING

Right, local's on board.

-Gran!

-Her lung collapsed.

We need to insert the chest drain to help her breathe.

Drain.

MACHINE BLEEPS

OK, stats are improving.

HE SIGHS

CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC

After you.

Sorry to barge in.

That's quite all right.

Good to see you.

I've just been doing a little tidying,

as one must from time to time.

MUSIC STOPS

-Oliver Valentine - the TMS seems to be working.

-Ah.

His memories seem to be improving.

And then he tried to push things, and I tried...

And everything got a bit muddled.

Forgive me...

Friends are always welcome but why are you really here?

And you've ruled out the usual suspects?

Yep. All the tests came back normal.

Then we saw how much weight he'd actually lost, and...

And it came to me. SMA syndrome.

See, the patient behaves like he has a high mechanical bowel obstruction.

All the luminal investigations came back normal,

and his CT scan shows he has a long-dependent mesentery.

Quite a catch for an F1. You should consider writing it up.

Yes! I mean, I would love to. Thank you.

Good. Right, well, full steam ahead.

Don't look too chipper!

I just signed you up for a shedload of extracurricular work.

Thank you!

LABOURED BREATHING

Hey, John.

Would you mind ordering me another chest X-ray for when she's awake?

-Oh, and is this all up to date?

-Yes.

-Thank you.

HE SIGHS

She's worn out, poor thing.

What you lot did for her...

I could have lost her.

Hey.

I don't want to scare you, but I think you might owe Dom a drink.

Your lung collapsed.

It was a bit touch-and-go, but he brought you back.

You should have let me go.

Gran...

I signed the form.

I signed it - it's in my bag! Look!

I signed it like you told me to!

They want me to make a speech.

Sum up David's life and work.

Rather a tall order, I'd say.

I've been working on the same sentences for the past week.

Getting nowhere.

You haven't RSVP'd.

Well, public engagements hardly seem appropriate,

given the circumstances.

They invited you because you deserve to be there, Henrik.

Most likely, simply out of obligation.

I want you to be there.

You were one of David's closest friends.

Your past, your life, doesn't stop because...

The lives of others have stopped, though, haven't they?

Oliver Valentine. His life, his career on hold.

Possibly indefinitely.

Raf Di Lucca.

Life, marriage...

are no more.

You aren't responsible for that.

You aren't the cause of anything that happened that day.

On a very superficial level, no, I'm not.

But if you look even a little closer,

no-one else is to blame.

Is all this...

Are you investigating the shooting?

HE SIGHS

I thought that if I could understand the what,

then the why might be forthcoming.

See, first of all, he shut down all the lights to cause panic.

He then created chaos on AAU,

so that the hospital would be put into lockdown,

lifts out of operation,

so that he that he could then go to the higher floors unimpeded,

and systematically target his intended victims,

yourself included.

Miss Naylor...

Mr Di Lucca...

were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Collateral damage, for which he cared not one jot.

See, this was no crime of passion.

No sudden flash of anger.

Deliberate, calculated...

evil.

My son.

My creation.

Stop torturing yourself.

You will never understand why Fredrik did what he did.

All this is just heaping on the guilt.

I AM guilty.

No.

Guilty of neglect.

Guilty of naivete.

Fredrik's method was a message, to me,

written in the blood of those I love.

I understand.

It wasn't in her notes.

I can't follow a directive that isn't in her notes.

You don't need to cover your back. She's not going to make a complaint.

How could you not tell me?

I tried to talk her out of it! I even roped in Oliver to help me.

I said everything that you would have said.

How could you have?! She's not your gran. You don't love her.

She's been feeling so low that she'd rather die than fight

whatever's wrong with her, and I had no idea.

If that had been your gran or your mum, or anyone you cared about,

I never would have sneaked around like that, cos I care about you.

Clearly, you don't feel the same.

Right. Maybe I'm not the problem here.

If you would have only listened to what Sheilagh wanted...

She's sick. I've been trying to sort her life out.

She's a grown woman and she wants to make her own decisions!

LOFTY SIGHS

I thought you understood me.

How stupid was I?

HE SIGHS

It's called SMA syndrome.

Without treatment, things would likely progress.

Stomach pain, possibly a blocked bowel.

And losing the weight caused this?

It's...very rare.

Bad luck.

We'll treat conservatively,

but we might have to insert a feeding tube for a while.

It's important we ensure you're getting adequate nutrition.

Oh, that'll go down well on my next job, won't it?

"Could you make sure to get my good side,

"and not this hideous feeding tube?"

I'm sure there's more to you than just smiling for the camera.

Like what?

I don't know, erm...

..family? People who love you?

Hobbies?

Are you trying to be funny?

We'll be back to talk you through a treatment plan in due course.

Is he for real?

He was probably just as vain and obnoxious before he lost the weight.

If you want to change...

-you really need to change.

-Mmm.

Still, at least one good thing's come out of all of this -

I've got a chance of being published!

Mmm-hmm. If you put in the hours.

John thinks I'm pushing Oliver too hard.

That I might be doing more harm than good.

I see.

He wants to draw a straight line between...

losing David and saving Oliver.

But there isn't one.

But there may be a line of some sort?

It just feels like some good should come out of this.

Some semblance of hope for the future.

Hmm.

How did we get here?

One minute, we're young, our whole careers ahead of us,

the four of us with the future at our feet.

Yes, there's nothing so cruel as time.

-It feels like yesterday.

-Mmm.

Every time I look at John,

I remember the day he introduced me to David.

I knew on our first date, that was it.

Yes, I do recall you losing interest in any other options

fairly swiftly.

SHE LAUGHS

We were always together, the four of us.

It felt like we could conquer the world.

Ah, the arrogance of youth.

-And I could drink the three of you under the table.

-Oh, yes.

Of course, you never had any time for anyone or anything

that wasn't work.

-I'm sorry.

-No, it's fine.

You're a good man, Henrik.

Don't let yourself be poisoned by this.

Don't lose yourself...

or allow us to lose you.

We need you.

Your strength, your kindness.

I wasn't very kind to my son.

We're here.

Stay with us. Please.

I remember proposing to her. I remember.

But...was it Roxanna?

Or was it...someone else?

Maybe you should try and get some sleep.

You mean Zosia? HE CHUCKLES

I thought it was Roxanna, and it was actually Zosia.

OLLIE SIGHS

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

It's like my own feelings are... playing tricks on me.

Love shouldn't be this complicated, should it?

DOM SIGHS

Can you tell me a little bit more about Zosia?

Please?

Of course.

BIRDSONG

CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC

Tea?

Thank you.

I've been up all night writing the speech for David's dedication.

Er...no.

I wouldn't want to spoil it before the big day.

You're still not coming, are you?

Well, as I said, it's a question of propriety.

So you're going to stay in this room forever,

punishing yourself for something you didn't do?

You don't have to hide yourself away, Henrik.

I'll leave you to it, if I may.

POP MUSIC ON RADIO

MUSIC STOPS

You're back.

I'll do it.

I know it's the right thing, it's just...

I'm scared.

I know Sheilagh would probably prefer whisky, but...

Let's just talk.

HE SWITCHES BETWEEN RADIO CHANNELS

Ollie. Have you got a minute?

I let her down.

We used to talk about things.

She's given up on life, and I didn't have a clue.

Lofty, no-one has done more for her than you have.

Maybe that's why she felt she couldn't tell you what she wanted.

Because she thought you'd talk her out of it.

How could I?

She's scared of the future. I am. I...

I keep going back and forth with occupational therapy.

There aren't enough resources to go around,

so we have to wait until they become available.

Meanwhile, she's stuck in hospital getting worse,

which makes being discharged

and actually getting those resources even harder.

How can society treat her as a burden when she needs help the most?

You don't see her as a burden.

So maybe we just need to make her see that.

So, this is where it all happened.

Ollie, you and I were never in love.

The memories that you have are of you and Zosia, not me.

HE SIGHS

We've been spending too much time together.

I've been emotionally invested in your treatment.

You could sense that, and your mind has played tricks.

I sort of wish I hadn't declared my undying love

in front of the entire ward.

This is my fault, not yours. I haven't been a very good doctor.

Don't be ridiculous.

I'm so sorry I wasn't honest sooner, but...

I've been holding back for my sake, because...

talking about it...

..reliving it, is...

Too painful.

Yeah, I understand.

I wanted to make you better.

I think I've inadvertently made you worse.

I think it's time I told you the truth.

On the day of the shooting...

..David had a stroke...

VOICE ECHOES: Start ventilating, please.

You were operating.

You were about to take him off bypass, when...

BLEEPING

DOOR BUZZES

-VOICE ECHOES:

-Please, put that down!

Turn it to me. Don't point that at her!

GUNSHOT

He pointed his gun...

..at you.

I was targeted.

You distracted him.

You saved my life.

-You had a cerebral haemorrhage.

-HE SIGHS

I knew I could save you.

The chances of David surviving were...

Besides...dementia is an old foe.

David wouldn't have been sorry it was quick.

It meant he was spared the thing he had nightmares about.

A future he wouldn't have wanted...

..where he didn't even recognise himself.

I've been feeling guilty...

because I didn't try harder to save him.

I thought if I saved you,

it would make his death less pointless.

That's where things got confused.

I still think TMS is the right treatment,

but we need to dial it back. Take things more slowly.

Have more realistic expectations, for both our sakes.

Of course, I understand if you'd rather Professor Gaskell

-took over...

-No, I don't think that'll be necessary.

Especially now I know that you're not going to leap my bones.

THEY CHUCKLE

So...

..I took the bullet...

..for you...

Why?

Because...

..you're selfless.

Kind.

Brave.

So, once we're sure you're stable enough,

and gastroenterology have a bed available, we'll move you.

No hurry.

Sorry if I was a bit snappy yesterday.

It's just a shock to hear your glittering career

-might be about to go from under you.

-Yeah, I bet.

Still, if my years of massage and aromatherapy

have taught me anything,

it's that sometimes you just have to sit back,

relax, and wait for another door to open.

And has it?

I put a call in to my agent.

Apparently, there are medical supply catalogues

just begging for models.

Yeah, it shouldn't be too long now before you can be discharged.

-UNDER HER BREATH

-Hopefully...

At least let me do you a signed photo!

Why would you suggest I write an article

on something you'd already written about?

I didn't. Ms Campbell did.

I just...

neglected to mention I'd already done the job.

Why would you do that?

I'm teaching you, just like Ms Campbell wanted.

Yeah, don't pass this of as some misguided attempt

to teach me a valuable lesson.

You need to stay sharp and toughen up.

SHE SIGHS Don't leap before you look.

You won't always have a registrar who's keen to look out for you.

You'll thank me one day!

Fine, I admit it.

Professor Gaskell's avoiding me.

Oh, look at you! Cat that got the cream!

I'm not, I swear I'm not!

Oh, if you could just admit to me that the sheen has come off

Mr Guru Gaskell just a little bit, it would make my week.

Well, turns out he might be human after all.

Yes! Yes, at last!

John, I've revised Oliver's treatment plan.

TMS on a bi-weekly basis with a period of observation after each.

-Good.

-No more running before we can walk.

I should have listened to you. You were being a friend.

I saw Henrik.

He's going to need his friends, too.

You don't have pulmonary embolism.

It's pneumothorax.

So small, preliminary X-rays couldn't pick it up.

So I'm not going to drop down dead at any moment?

You're just as likely to get run over by a bus, like the rest of us.

Congratulations.

Course, if that DNAR had ended up in your notes

instead of your handbag, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Honestly, Gran, what on earth were you thinking?

I was thinking that I'd been stuck in here for weeks,

and I did not want to be stuck in here until I popped my clogs!

Well, I'm going to pull out all the stops

to make sure you can go home as soon as you're better.

Whatever happens, I'm here.

Well, I suppose I'd better hang around a little bit longer.

If only to see how the two of you pan out.

So, er...when's your third date?

Er...

Tonight?

Albie's?

But, first, though...

..I'll let you do the honours.

MUSIC: "Only You" by Yazoo.

Ah, they're still at the bar. Right, let's get in there.

A pint of...

-ALL:

-Ahh!

Such a shame!

Mwah! Love you!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Karaoke again?

Why can't people leave it in the '90s like everyone else did?

# Looking from a window above

# It's like a story of love

# Can you hear me?

# Came back only yesterday

# I'm moving further away

# Want you near me

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew

# Only you... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Let's go.

-# Sometimes when I think of her name

# When it's only a game

# And I need you... #

HE SIGHS

I love you.

It wasn't a mistake when I said it yesterday.

Although it was unplanned, and...really badly timed.

I meant it.

You were the one that insisted we were just friends, not me.

Yeah, well, you know, I'm particularly fond

of self-sabotage, so...

THEY CHUCKLE

Is that why you couldn't admit the truth yesterday?

I was scared.

And besides, I mean, we're not even a thing yet, you know?

It just all feels a little bit...

-Whirlwind?

-Hmm!

Well, we both know that's just another word for crazy!

-I mean, we've only had three dates.

-Oi, four!

You don't call sitting on a cold bench a hot date?

THEY CHUCKLE

DOM SIGHS

I... I know this hasn't been easy for either of us.

Especially you.

I just...

don't feel quite ready to say it back yet, that's all.

Is that all right?

When you're ready.

-ROXANNA:

-In everyone's life, there is someone.

That one defining someone who takes your life and changes it.

My beautiful, brilliant man has been taken from me too soon.

I hoped more than anything

that we would be allowed to grow old together,

but now, I must find a way to go on without him,

and to honour his memory.

I will do this.

I will continue to learn from David,

overcome this tragedy,

and transform it into a hope for the future.