Gently with Class Inspector George Gently

# My daddy, he's a handsome devil

# He's got a chain five miles long

# And on every link a heart does dangle... #

TYRES SCREECH

METAL CRUNCHES

LOUD SPLASH

MUFFLED YELLING

WOMAN SOBS

Help me.

Help me!

And in.

HE INHALES

And slowly out.

HE EXHALES

And again, please.

HE INHALES

HE EXHALES

Did I survive another year, Doctor?

Your as fit as a lop, as they say up here.

No idea what it means.

Lived here 26 years, still no idea what anyone's saying.

Tell me, Chief Inspector, when does it hurt the most?

First thing in the morning or last thing at night?

PHONE RINGS

SHE GROANS

Your phone.

No, I can't remember, either, pet.

I don't miss her less as time passes.

I just...

Just miss her differently.

How long?

Four years, three months, two weeks and...

HE CHUCKLES

It's the never again, you know? Never.

Do you talk about this to anybody?

No.

Your sergeant, perhaps?

HE GUFFAWS

Oh, yeah, that's a thought.

-Is she identified?

-'Who?'

-Is the woman identified?

-'Which woman?'

Which woman do you think I'm talking about?!

Twiggy? The woman in the car.

Listen, tell them, do not move that car until I get there,

-is that understood?

-'Aye.'

And where's Gently? Has anybody found him? Has he gone fishing?

I bet he has! I bet he's gone fishing and not told anyone!

'We don't know where he is.'

Great, thanks, George. Thanks. I'll look after the dead woman, shall I?

On my only day off this month. Thanks, pal(!)

-Do you believe in dreams?

-Try me.

I've been having the same one recently, time and time again.

I go back to a house that I used to live in.

And I meet a woman on the doorstep. She's...she's leaving.

And our hands brush.

-And she tells me she'll meet me again later.

-Your wife?

Can't see her face.

Then I go through the door, I'm glad to be back...

..and then slowly I realise that everything's different.

All the rooms are different.

Different shapes, different sizes, different things in them.

Everything's changed.

And then...

-And then?

-Then there's water coming down the walls and across the floor,

and I'm drowning.

Helpless and drowning.

Morning, sir.

Good morning, John.

Right, well, I wanted to have a look before they disturbed it.

Got a girl here with a bruise on her head.

Could've been unconscious.

Let's hope so.

This was in the car.

What about the driver?

Ah, there's no sign of him.

The metal's caved in by the impact.

And her left foot, it's trapped. You can see it.

OK? Right, let's cut her out!

I don't think she was unconscious.

Well, either way, he didn't call for help.

Panic maybe, because he'd nicked the car.

-Young man, too much to drink. Or an older one with a wife somewhere.

-He left her to drown!

She was helpless.

Dead and alone out here. All night.

SAW WHIRRS

I woke up with a complete stranger next to us this morning.

Some men pay money for that.

Should have seen the state of her.

It's like waking up next to somebody's grandma.

Hair was sticking up, and...

POLICE RADIO Two secs.

Yes?

-'The Austin A40 is registered to Hector Blackstone.'

-Guv.

'The address is Abberwick Hall.'

We got a trace on the vehicle.

Say that again for Mr Gently, will you, please?

-'Abberwick Hall.'

-Registered to Hector Blackstone.

He's the 13th Earl of Guyzance, don't you know!

-Friend of yours?

-No, no, but I know his son pretty well. James Blackstone.

I've nicked him twice for being drunk in charge of a vehicle.

-And...?

-Mummy and Daddy hired expensive lawyers.

And Mummy and Daddy waved a magic wand over the charge sheet,

which then magically disappeared into thin air.

And then Mummy and Daddy got me reprimanded for victimisation. ..Yes?

Nothing on her, sir, except this key.

Thank you. We haven't even got her name.

I bet you 100 quid

-the Right Hon James Blackstone will know her name.

-Why don't you go and ask him?

Nicely!

# On our block all of the guys call her Flamingo

# Cos her hair glows like the sun

# And her eyes can light the skies

# When she walks... #

Are we nearly there? I mean, how much of England is one bloke allowed to own?

# ..Crimson dress that clings so tight

# She's out of reach and out of sight

# When she walks by she brightens up the neighbourhood... #

HORN BEEPS

Do we get to Abberwick Hall if we keep going?

-CROAKY VOICE:

-Did yous come through a big gate marked Abberwick Hall?

-Aye.

-And have yous turned off the road since?

You got a cold or summat?

Throat cancer.

Oh.

You look more intelligent.

-Faint praise.

-Hey, I've got four O-levels, me.

Tell us who wrote this and I'll tell yous the way.

We don't have time for double your money, pal, all right?

Who is there that has not jeered at the House of Lords,

the military caste, the Royal Family, the public schools,

the hunting and shooting set, the horrors of a country society?

-No, I'm sorry, I've no idea.

-Rudyard Kipling.

Kipling was a king and country imperialist, you clot.

George Orwell.

And Orwell knew summat that gets forgot these days.

The English ruling class are not as stupid as they look.

Look at the workers in Paris last night.

Pulling up the pavements and chucking them at the boss class.

Now look at me,

repairing the boss's fences to keep his deer oot of his rose gardens.

Makes you think about this country, doesn't it, bonny lad?

Sorry?

200 yards.

Hang onto your wallets! They'll have the rings off your fingers!

They've stole England from the workers!

What the hell was all that about?

GEORGE CHUCKLES

Did you ever meet the Earl and his good lady?

POSH VOICE: Oh, no! Goodness, golly gosh, me? No.

NORMAL VOICE: No. I was never granted an audience.

But if they're anything like the son, get ready to throw up.

# ..Sha la la la la la la la Pretty Flamingo

# Some day I'll make her mine Sha la la la la la la la

# Yes, I will, yes, I will

# I'll make her mine... #

DOOR OPENS

Inspector Gently, Sergeant Bacchus, I'm so sorry.

I was in the stables, working on my motorcycles.

Something about a car, I'm told?

Yes, a car registered to you has been involved in a fatal accident, sir.

Hector, just call me Hector.

Is your son in at the minute, there, Hector?

-Fatal to whom?

-A young woman, early 20s, late teens.

Does your son have a girlfriend, Hector?

-Which car was this?

-Austin A90.

-A40.

A40 Farina, blue, registration number BOJ 174C.

Are you saying that you weren't even aware that this car was missing?

-Totally.

-Any chance of talking to your son, Hector, please?

I'm not sure if he's even here, Sergeant.

My wife may know.

Have you seen my wife, Colin?

She's through there, sir. Just in there.

Alethea?

TV ON

-Ah, there you are! These two gentlemen...

-Just give me a second.

This man, Cohn-Bendit - someone should shoot him, shouldn't they?

Like they did the German, Red Rudi.

"Be realistic, demand the impossible." The naivety!

Do they really think they can overturn

the natural order of things by throwing a few stones?

De Gaulle's run away, of course.

-Chief Inspector Gently, Sergeant Bacchus.

-Is there a problem?

A fatality. A young woman.

-Oh, dear.

-We found your husband's car, Mrs Blackstone...

-I beg your pardon?

-You hard of hearing?

My wife prefers to be Your Ladyship.

Well, I wouldn't mind being Bobby Charlton, but...

Your Ladyship, an Austin car belonging to your husband

was found five miles away, upside down in the river...

with a dead girl inside.

Well, then. Somebody's stolen one of our cars.

Is it a write-off?

Don't you care about the dead girl?

Why should I care about a car thief?

What if it wasn't stolen?

What other explanation is there?

-Is your son at home?

-He may be.

It is a large house.

Would you like me to organise a search party(?)

-Was he here last night?

-We had supper together.

Hector was at one of his... musical self-flagellation evenings in the village.

Musical what, sorry?

My husband likes the music of downtrodden workers.

Fiddles and squeezeboxes,

starving children, wicked mine owners,

tragic underground explosions.

Singers with their fingers in their ears.

That sort of thing.

So you stayed in with your son?

Mm-hm. James and I sat talking and playing backgammon.

I kissed him good night... at 1.00am.

And you haven't seen him this morning?

I'm his mother, not his maid.

Could you go and find your son? Now.

What sort of school did you go to, Sergeant?

One with an outside lav.

And did they teach you the word "please"?

Please.

Thank you.

When did you last use your car, sir?

It was the Austin, you say?

Yeah.

How many cars you got?

Well, there are seven or eight dotted around the estate,

all registered to my name for insurance purposes,

but intended for common use.

Austin A40 Farina. Blue. Registration number...

No idea when I last drove it.

I tend to avoid cars if at all possible. Prefer my motorcycles.

-So, you don't know who the girl was, then?

-No, no, not yet.

You say various people had access to this car?

It's a very large estate.

Who keeps the ignition keys?

Actually, they're usually just kept in the cars.

Right. Well, I'm going to need a list of all the employees, then.

-Of course.

-Right. (More money than sense.)

My wife has misremembered one thing, Inspector.

James did in fact come down to the village last night

to hear the music.

He then had a late supper with his mother on his return.

But not you?

No, I went straight to my rooms.

Your wife's a very forceful woman.

Alethea's my second wife, hence the discrepancy in our ages.

My first wife died 30 years ago.

Bonny. That was her name.

Though, in fact, she was very bonny.

An incurable disease.

Do you still miss her?

Miss her? Well, that would be disloyal, wouldn't it?

Guv! >

Guv!

Excuse me.

You found him, then.

Ah! Of course. It would be you.

Oh, um...

-Bacchus.

-Sergeant Bacchus. Yes, of course. How splendid to see you again.

Ohh. That's a nasty cut you've got there, Your Highness.

Did you get that playing backgammon?

Sergeant.

I actually don't mind what he calls me, Chief Inspector.

Well, I do. So now, then, how did you come by that injury?

I fell into the French windows and broke a pane.

Can anybody corroborate that?

I can. If you're actually doubting my son's word.

So how did you come to walk into a pane of glass?

Um... Brandy.

When was this, exactly?

I can't exactly remember.

-Can't remember? A whack like that?

-Of course he can remember. It...

-I'm not asking you, I'm asking him.

It was just after supper.

-Yes. It was...just after supper.

-Just after supper. Yeah.

-I'd like you to come down to headquarters.

-Are you harassing my son again?

-No, I'm asking him to come down to headquarters.

-Are you arresting my son?

No, but if he doesn't come voluntarily, I will arrest him.

-A lawyer will be present at all times.

-You don't need a lawyer. He's not being charged with anything.

-Our solicitor will be present at all times. Hector, get on the phone.

-Come on.

Mr Gently, you had better be SO careful.

You know, this could go very badly for you.

Do you know what makes me laugh, Your Battleship?

Your career prospects?

After all your greed and all your wealth and all your privileges

and it's all been shown up,

and the whole country is laughing at you for wearing tweed underwear

and shooting furry animals and going, "Oh yah, yah, Gertrude",

you still think you should be running the country, don't you?

You know, when I first met you, I took you as one of those

angry young men with a chip on his shoulder.

But now I see you're actually quite well balanced.

You have a chip on both your shoulders.

-Oooh. You're for the knacker's yard, Mrs Blacksmith.

-Sergeant!

Tell me, Sergeant, who DOES run the country?

Grammar school boys like Mr Wilson?

Clever little men like David Frost?

The boilermakers' union? The Marxists at the BBC?

The Royal Shakespeare Homo Company?

OK, you're the expert on the Right Hon James Blackstone.

-Let's have it.

-He's 24.

He's just resigned his commission in the Coldstream Guards,

which was Hector's regiment.

Studied at Marlborough public school,

then went on to St Edmund Hall, Oxford.

Apparently, that's where the thick ones with money get in.

-Says who?

-I asked a friend of mine.

Good work, Sergeant. How many O-levels did you say you got?

General science, biology, German and technical drawing, OK?

-Fully rounded human being(!)

-Look, are we discussing me or him?

Sorry, go on, carry on.

Right. Continuing the military theme,

he got made General of the Bullingdon Club.

Their main activity is getting plastered, smashing restaurants up,

throwing loads of money on the floor

and then leaving with stupid, smug grins on their faces.

Now about to take up a position - "take up a position" -

that's known to the rest of us as getting a job -

in the City, at Lloyd's, where he'll no doubt sit on his backside

until it's time to shoot pheasants or murder young women in car crashes.

-One of the two.

-I don't think James'll be sitting on his backside.

Not with a mother like that.

-Sir?

-Busy!

Bob Anderton's ready for you, sir.

Unknown female, approximately 20 years of age.

No distinguishing marks or features,

except the fingers are cut and scratched.

Death was by drowning.

What about this bruise on her head?

Consistent with the crash, but a glancing blow.

I doubt whether she lost consciousness. Sexually active.

-Recent?

-I'd say fairly recent.

The fingernails on the left hand are much more worn than the right.

Presumably she was scrabbling at the door with that hand.

Or because she plays the violin, yes?

Anything else I should know at this point, Bob?

Yes. The blood sample on the metal frame, driver's side...

-Oh, aye?

-Yeah.

It's a pretty rare type, actually. Might help you.

A2B positive.

After all night in the river?

Apparently the car was at a slight angle.

Not all the frame was submerged.

I see.

OK, well, I think we're done here, thanks.

Did James Blackstone have a rare blood group?

Oh, I can't remember. Why don't we go and ask him?

I'll ask the questions. You take a back seat.

Sir. Assistant Chief Constable's waiting for you in your office.

Ah!

Your questioning of His Lordship will take place here,

with Mrs Acklington in attendance.

I'll remain but will play no part.

Oh, I think you already have, sir.

This is not for discussion, Chief Inspector.

It's a necessary precaution, given the history.

How would you like me to address you?

James is fine.

Very well. James.

May I ask you once again how you came by that cut on your head?

You don't have to answer that.

Well, he's already told us, in fact, that he fell into a window frame,

whilst under the influence of alcohol.

Would he care to elaborate on that?

Were the French windows open or closed, for instance?

They were open.

I was talking to my mother.

Not paying attention properly.

-WHY were they open?

-That's what French windows are for.

Quite. So, were you on the inside or on the outside?

We were outside.

-Just the two of you?

-Yes.

No-one else to distract you?

No, I was drunk.

Yeah, you were drinking with your father.

At a musical event in the village.

Although Her Ladyship had previously told me

that you were at home having supper and playing backgammon. So, which is true?

-The countess isn't here to answer questions.

-The question is for James.

They're both true. James and his father came back about 11.

So why did you first tell me...

The countess isn't here to answer questions.

Well, she has no problems answering for her son, I notice!

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT AND MOUTHS

James, we have a car upside down in a shallow river,

and a young girl dead. Do you know what happened to her last night?

The Chief Inspector must ask specific questions,

not go on a fishing trip.

-Agreed.

-I'm asking James what he knows about a young girl

whose life ended in the early hours of this morning.

Trapped, frightened and helpless in a metal tomb,

waiting for the cold river water to enter her lungs and drown her.

Just a name would help.

A little bit of dignity for her?

I...I think I might know her.

-Put a stop to this.

-James, there's absolutely no obligation to...

Why might you know her, James?

Just, um...

Just if...if she's local, I might recognise her.

Certainly. Would you like to see her?

She's here, just down the corridor.

Yes, I would. Very much.

-Stop this. James, I forbid this!

-I strongly object to this procedure...

Mr Blackstone has very kindly agreed to assist in identifying the body.

This way, James.

You said you could control this man!

Come on.

Down there.

James?

Ellen.

Her name is Ellen.

No, no, no. You can't touch her.

You can never touch her again.

-Never?

-No, never.

Were you driving the car, James?

James, were you driving the car?

Your son's waiting for you in reception.

What did he tell you?

Just the dead girl's name. Nothing more.

Aren't you curious to know what it is?

-Yes, of course.

-Ellen Mallam.

Oh, well, that begins to make sense. Her father works for us.

Oh. Does he have access to the car?

He's free to use it any time.

Gosh. What a run of bad luck he's had.

He lost his wife, lost his job at the pit, throat cancer,

now this.

-Throat cancer?

-Mm-hm.

Yous want to buy a compass, you two.

Straight past the House of Lords stable block.

Go quiet, cos they're fast asleep in the afternoons.

Turn right at the Profumo swimming pool,

over the bridge at the Christine Keeler goldfish pond...

Billy Mallam?

Aye.

I went over the water to see Ellen Wilkinson speak

the day the Jarrow March set out.

The Fiery Spark, they called her.

You know, she had that thing about her.

You moved towards her, you know?

And I thought to myself - and I hadn't even met her mother yet...

..if I ever have a girl child, I'll call her Ellen.

And my Ellen had that fiery spark, an' all.

# A holiday, a holy day

# The first one of the year

# Lord Arlen's wife came into church

# The gospel for to hear

# And when the meeting, it was done

# She cast her eyes about

# And there she saw little Matty Groves

# Walking in the crowd

# Come home with me little Matty Groves

# Come home with me tonight... #

-'This was last night, in the Miners' Welfare in your village?

-Aye.

'I'm going to need the names of the other band members.

'It was whoever was free. Except Anthony.'

# ..You are Lord Arlen's wife... #

-'Anthony always played.

-Anthony...?

-Anthony Baugh.'

How can I find him?

Well he's here, usually. In the library.

Writing some kind of book.

-Weren't you concerned when Ellen didn't come home last night?

-Well, nah.

Cos she told us she was getting the bus out of Newcastle, for London.

Bus leaves at three o'clock in the morning.

Her bags were packed, sitting on the floor.

She was going to slip in later, pick them up after I'd gone to bed.

They were still there this morning.

So was her bus ticket.

Did she have a boyfriend up here?

-No, no.

-How long has she been home from London?

-Three or four days.

-She was a student, yeah?

At the Royal College of Music.

From a bairn, Mr Bacchus, she could pick up any instrument

and play it.

Never knew where she got that from.

Not me or her mam.

What a voice.

She made the angels weep.

# Little Matty Groves, he laid down and took a little sleep

# When he awoke Lord Arlen was standing at his feet

# Saying, how do you like my featherbed?

# How do you like my sheets?

# How do you like my lady

# Who lies in your arms asleep?

# It's well I like your featherbed

# And well I like your sheets

# But better I like your lady gay who lies in my arms asleep

# Well, get up, get up! Lord Arlen cried

# Get up as quick as you can

# It'll never be said in fair England

-# I slew a naked man.

-#

'Who was in the audience?

'People from the village. Farms round about.

'People from the hall.

'Who from the hall?

'Well, Hector.

'He always came when Ellen sang.'

So Hector had known Ellen all her life?

Always used to tell her she was beautiful, you know?

Give her presents on her birthday, and that.

She'd give him that big smile, and say,

"Hector, give all the land and money you've pinched back to the workers

"and I'll have a dirty weekend with you."

Oh, she made me blush sometimes.

She reminded him of his first wife, I think.

OK, yeah. So, Hector was there.

Why was James there?

I don't know.

But I do know he never took his eyes off Ellen all night.

# ..And then Lord Arlen He took his wife

# And he sat her on his knee

# Saying, who do you like the best of us, Matty Groves or me?

# And then up spoke his own dear wife

# Never known to speak so free

# I'd rather kiss dead Matty's lips than you and your finery!

# And then Lord Arlen, he stood up

# And loudly he did bawl

# He struck his wife right through the heart

# And pinned her against the wall

# A grave, a grave, Lord Arlen cried

# To put these lovers in

-# But bury my lady at the top for she was of noble kin.

-#

-She had your politics?

-She believed in justice and fair shares.

Thank you. You've been listening to The Fiery Spark.

Please give generously to the Vietnam Solidarity Campaign.

Support the people of Vietnam. Victory to the Vietcong!

America out!

One last time, Ellen Mallam!

If you want to hear her do one more, you better let her know.

COINS RATTLE Thank you.

Beautiful, darling, beautiful.

Very kind. Thank you. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Did James have a gash on his head, Mr Mallam?

-A gash?

-Aye.

-No, why?

-Sure?

Has he got one now, like?

He says he walked into the French windows.

He's done this before, you know?

Crashed cars and got away with it.

Can you think of any reason why Ellen would be in a car

with James Blackstone late last night?

'They were talking, after the concert.

-'What were they talking about?

-They were too far away.

'I just remember thinking,

' "There he goes again, drunk behind the wheel."

'Well, her coach was at 3am.'

Could he have been offering to come back later

and give her a lift to the coach station in Newcastle?

She did say she had a lift.

-With James?

-Well, I assumed Anthony.

Anthony?

Oh, Anthony Baugh, the guitarist that's writing a book?

Why did you assume that?

Cos that's what usually happened. They were close.

-They grew up together.

-Has he got a car?

-No, he uses the ones off the estate.

So, if he thought he might be needing a car last night, he...

So sorry, Inspector. Billy, this is appalling.

This is appalling!

I'm sorry, I just wanted...

It's all right we'd finished anyway.

We want to speak to Anthony Baugh.

I'm afraid he's not here today.

-Could he have borrowed the Austin yesterday?

-Yes, of course. He frequently takes a car.

-We need to find out who left her to drown, Hector.

-Yes. Mr Gently will, I'm sure.

-Whoever it is, Hector.

-Yes, of course.

Whoever.

I'm so sorry.

-He won't hesitate.

-To do what?

Pull whatever strings it takes to save his son's neck.

Well, aye - he's going to be Prime Minister one day,

we keep getting told, whereas a young lass like Ellen -

who had more brains and more heart in her little finger

than he'll ever have - her life can be snuffed out like that.

He's killed her, hasn't he?

The only one who had any time for him,

and he's killed her.

Why is he not locked up?

Hall here. Village here.

A1 to Newcastle and the coach station here.

River winds round this way. Death occurs here at the bridge.

-Is there a point to this?

-She had a ticket to London.

Her father told us she left her luggage in the middle of the floor,

so presumably whoever was driving her went back to pick it up.

The rest of her band had gone home in the van.

Guv, me brain's gone. We'll talk about this tomorrow.

You've got nothing to say to me?

-What about?

-OK.

Let me just tell you one of the vast array of things wrong

with planting false evidence.

Whoa. Whoa there, Nelly. False evidence?

Yeah, the blood smear.

James Blackstone is A2B, I take it?

Come on, you must know from all the times you tried to nick him.

-So?

-So, a smear of it turns up conveniently on the car frame.

That blood sample never even existed, did it?

Guv, he's got a three-inch gash on his head!

He's got previous for drinking and driving!

They tried to stop us putting him away twice before

and now, guess what, he's killed somebody,

and you're trying to stop us a third time?!

No, I'm trying to stop you from perjuring yourself and ruining Bob Anderton's career!

He's got a wife and four kids depending on his salary,

and you are asking him to risk all of that

because you are SURE you've got the right man, you just haven't got the evidence to prove it!

-Blokes your age, you can't help yourselves, can you?

-What?!

"This bloke here, he was in the Army, he must be a good bloke.

"This bloke here, he's got a posh accent,

"he couldn't POSSIBLY tell a pack of lies!"

How many times have these people got a free pass

just because they won the pools on the day that they were born?

Is that what you think of me?

Somebody who knows his place?

These people have been farting in our faces for centuries

and now we don't have to take it any more

and here is my guv'nor calling this stuck up cow Your Ladyship.

And that excuses you from inventing evidence against her son?

A, I'm doing nothing of the kind. You're imagining it.

B, he's guilty.

And C, do you think these people got all their land,

all their titles, all their wealth

by sticking to the rules?

Go home.

-Guv...

-Go home.

You disappoint me, John.

# You must leave now Take what you need

# You think will last

# But whatever you wish to keep

# You better grab it fast

# Yonder stands your orphan with his gun

# Crying like a fire in the sun

# Look out, baby The saints are comin' through

# And it's all over now Baby Blue... #

KNOCK AT DOOR

# ..The highway is for gamblers

# Better use your sense

# Take what you have gathered from coincidence

# The empty-handed painter from your streets

# Is drawing crazy patterns on your sheets

# The sky, too, is folding over you

# And it's all over now, Baby Blue

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# It's all over It's all over now, Baby Blue

# It's all...

# It's all over now, oh, yeah. #

SIRENS WAIL

This wouldn't have happened if we'd arrested him yesterday.

Four O-levels AND 20/20 hindsight(!)

-What business is this of theirs?

-How's your son?

They don't really know yet. Would you like a cup of tea?

-No, thank you.

-I wouldn't mind, actually.

Anthony? And a tea for Sergeant Bacchus.

Anthony Baugh.

Yeah, you find out all you can. I'll take him outside.

So Alethea found James with his throat cut?

-Yes.

-Did he manage to say anything?

Presumably not, with his throat cut(!)

Were you at the hall last night?

At night? Of course not.

How come you learned about James so quickly?

The countess telephoned. She was...very upset. I came over.

You think he tried to kill himself?

James was - is - probably the most unhappy human being I've ever met.

And one of the least likeable.

What makes him unhappy?

I'm not a psychiatrist.

What makes him unlikeable?

Proximity to him.

Where do you fit in at Abberwick Hall, Anthony?

The ruling class of England went mad about ten years ago,

shortly after Suez, didn't you notice?

I'm writing a book about it.

Through A Class Darkly - The Decline Of The Old Order.

Think it'll sell?

Is that your son's blood?

Why doesn't he make them open the kitchen?

Is there really not a woman here to boil a kettle?

What happened to your son?

He used be a soldier.

They play with death.

-They're reckless.

-I'm sorry.

You're saying that James accidentally cut his own throat?

SHE SIGHS

He really is quite unbelievable, isn't he?

Darling? Do you have any shrapnel?

My husband was conceived upon a flannel.

I beg your pardon?

His mother - my predecessor as the Countess of Guyzance -

was a notorious "horizontale".

Sorry, I...?

Rarely in the vertical plane.

Oh, right.

Why am I telling you this?

-VOICE CRACKING:

-Because sometimes... we just need to talk, don't you?

My parents owned the village shop. James and I were at school together.

-You went to public school?

-Yep.

Thrifty shopkeepers.

Yes. But not that thrifty.

Hector paid for my education.

And, no, I'm not his illegitimate offspring, it was pure philanthropy.

Hector does a lot of good in this world.

-All he asks in return is that you try and do the same.

-And will you?

I'd like to go into politics.

As James is meant to.

Except he's got a mother who controls the local Tory Party

-and decides who the MP will be.

-Lucky boy, eh?

But if James was no longer a candidate...?

Oh, crikey. Am I a suspect?

Tell me why you shouldn't be.

What's your name?

John.

Well, John... She slept with everybody.

Except Hector's father, whom she couldn't abide.

You won't say a word of this to anyone, will you? Promise?

I promise.

So there came a point...

where they hadn't had "conjugale" for six years,

at which point the old bird announces she's pregnant.

Well, even Hector's father -

who was given dinners at Eton for his imbecility -

even HE could do simple arithmetic.

So he sued her for adultery in the High Court

and tried to have Hector declared a bastard.

-What happened?

-Oh, he lost his case, obviously.

-Can I get you anything, you chaps?

-Oh, no, no, no.

-Are you sure?

Well...

how did the, um...the "old bird" get away with it?

She simply told the judge the facts of the matter.

-Which were...?

-That because he wasn't getting any sex,

Hector's father was in the habit of relieving himself

on a flannel in her bathroom.

One night in her bath,

she used the flannel to wash herself down there,

thus impregnating herself with his sperm.

And the judge believed that?

Of course he believed her. Her father was a duke.

So who is Hector's real father?

Probably some horny-handed son of toil from the local coal mine.

That would explain a lot about Hector.

Tea at last!

Getting to know each other?

Is there a Mr and Mrs Guyzance here?

A friend of yours has just lost her life in a car crash,

somebody that you were close to, according to her father. Were you?

Mm.

So why weren't you driving the car?

Cos Billy...

Billy assumed that you would be giving her a lift

to the coach station. Why didn't you?

She wasn't going to the coach station.

James was driving them both to London.

-How do you know this?

-She told me.

How close were you, Anthony?

Did you love Ellen, Anthony?

All my life.

Guv?

He lost too much blood.

They couldn't bring him back.

I'm very sorry.

What can you tell me about what happened?

Very little.

I heard my wife's screams, I went to the window,

I saw the scene and I immediately phoned for help.

When I got outside...

there was blood everywhere.

James was barely alive.

We tried to bandage his neck.

He was drowning in his own blood.

The ambulance took an age.

And you saw no-one else?

Such as who?

Anthony Baugh, for instance?

No, of course not.

And the previous evening, the night that Ellen met her death,

was he at the hall then?

Why would he be there in the evening?

Hector, I'm sorry, too.

The silver dagger that was found beside James?

It's a letter opener.

-Was it familiar to you?

-It was my wife's.

-Oh.

-A gift from James on her 40th birthday.

There's an inscription on it -

"To Mummy, from James".

It normally lives on a desk in the day room.

Do you think that your son could have ended his own life with it?

Yes. I do.

Why would he do that?

I don't know.

And yesterday evening, were the three of you at home together?

Yes. I myself went out for a while.

To go where?

I went to Billy Mallam's house to share a drink with him,

but he slammed the door on me.

There was real hatred in his eyes.

I fear he may have been led to the wrong conclusion

about his daughter's death.

I think your son killed himself last night

because he felt responsible for the death of Ellen Mallam.

Why do you keep pointing your finger at other people, I wonder?

Confucius had a saying, Sergeant -

"When a wise man points at the stars,

"only a fool stares at his finger".

DOOR LATCH CLICKS

Darling...

-Are we letting Anthony go?

-Yeah. For now.

-These people are weird.

-Yeah.

Better question Billy Mallam.

Oh, right. Yeah.

Billy Mallam has now gone to the hall, has he, huh?

To open James Blackstone's throat with a silver dagger that belonged to Alethea, huh?

And because of me, apparently. Are you taking this rubbish seriously?

-I have to.

-What, because an earl says that it's true?

-Oh, well, then it must be(!)

-You...

You as good as told Billy Mallam that James was driving the car!

It's a smoke screen, guv! The truth...the truth has just walked out that door!

Listen, you don't have to be there. I'll question him on my own.

No, no! I'll do it, sir. I'll do it!

It's all my fault, apparently, so I'll do it!

That's for slitting envelopes, not throats.

There's easier ways than that of killing a man, bonny lad.

-Such as?

-A shotgun.

Yeah, but...

you wanted poetic justice, though, didn't you?

For your beautiful, artistic daughter?

Cut the killer's throat with a knife inscribed to his Mammy.

What's sweeter than that?

Having Ellen alive would be sweeter than that, bonny lad.

Yeah, but she's not alive, though, is she?

You're never going to see her again, Billy. Never.

You had hate in your heart last night, Billy.

Says who?

Who came knocking at your door?

Hector put yous up to this?

James Blackstone left Ellen to drown.

James Blackstone drowned in his own blood.

Nobody, nobody on Earth,

would blame you for that, Billy. Nobody.

Did you leave the house after Hector came to see you?

Where did you go to, Billy?

The river.

I went to the river.

To see where my bairn lost her life.

Thinking I might die in the same spot.

I couldn't kill myself last night.

This was not simple cowardice.

At age 19,

I spent six days trapped by a rock fall,

underground on me own,

so I've met despair before.

Wrapped tight round my throat in the dark.

But I survived it.

As I will the loss of Ellen.

As I have everything else.

Anthony Baugh says James and Ellen were leaving for London together.

Knows it for a fact, he says.

He only knows one thing for a fact -

that Anthony Baugh will one day be atop of the greasy pole.

I've watched that lad grow up. He believes in nothing except himself.

All the same, why would he make it up? Huh?

I mean, you said it yourself, didn't you?

James held onto her hand, she kissed him.

That's a funny thing for a fiery working-class lass to be doing.

Standing necking on the street with a bloke whose mum's posher than the Queen.

Billy...

..the postmortem tells us

that Ellen had sex with somebody in the days before she died.

Did yous have to tell us that?

Could it have been James?

-Never in a million year.

-Anthony?

I think they used to... but that was years ago.

Well... Thank you very much, Mr Mallam.

I'll arrange for a squad car to take you home.

When the undertakers have done their work,

people can come and pay their respects.

He was so, so very loved, my son.

England has lost a future leader.

Have you ever lost anyone you were really close to, George?

Of course you have.

We're the generation, aren't we?

I lost my father

and my brother in the war.

In the same week.

I lost some comrades. Anzio.

Sicily before that.

I also lost my wife a few years ago.

I'm so sorry.

It's been very much on my mind recently.

I can't quite work out why.

It's because you're a sensitive man, George.

But life will be good again.

Life always works out well in the end for good men...

like you.

Your Ladyship...

Why don't you call me Alethea? Hmm?

When no-one else is around.

I think I'll call you Your Ladyship, if it's all the same to you.

The night Ellen died...

Back to that again, are we?

Anthony Baugh says James and Ellen were going away to London together.

Gosh!

Hasn't he a lot to say for the son of village shopkeepers?

-Can I help you in some way?

-Yeah.

Sometime before she died, somebody shagged Ellen. Any idea who?

You really are something.

An easier one, then - was it you or was it James?

Body's hardly cold, Sergeant.

I'm sorry.

If you want coppers with good taste,

then mebbies they should send us all to public school.

Could learn how to cane each other.

I just went to the local grammar, me, so I never really got into bondage.

This is an amazing, kind,

beautiful, talented human being

who's lost her life in tragic circumstances.

The fact that you think it's funny,

the fact that you think she's to be mocked, does you no credit.

And, actually, maybe that IS something to do with your education.

Oh, where did I go wrong?

Let me tell you what I'm thinking, Ant.

I'm thinking this - there's you sent to school

to learn how to parrot the upper classes, right?

But it'll always be all right, won't it?

Because there's Ellen, childhood sweetheart,

the Fiery Spark,

Red Ellen.

And as long as she still loves you,

then you haven't turned into a complete toady.

And then one day - disaster.

She thinks to herself, "Why am I wasting my time dropping my knickers

"for a pretend upper-class twit when I can have a proper one?"

Eh?

James never took his eyes off her at that concert.

That must have made you angry, did it?

Then he leaves her to drown in a river.

You expect me to believe that you spent all last night

playing draughts with your mam and dad up in Seahouses?

-Ask them.

-I have.

"Ah, yeah, no, he was here the whole time, honest."

What are mums and dads for?

What was James's relationship with Ellen Mallam?

"Relationship"?

James was a man of action. A soldier.

They're allowed to sow wild oats.

Well, village girls...

sometimes get the wrong idea.

She laid herself down for him

and then expected a wedding ring.

So she threw herself at him?

She...ensnared him with sex.

This proud working-class girl,

named after a famous working-class heroine,

expected a life with your son?

And isn't that just typical of the working classes?

Once they smell money and opportunity...

They envy wealth, success, brilliance -

all the things that James had in spades.

-Exactly.

-So why did he kill himself?

He didn't kill himself.

Your husband says it was suicide.

How would he know?

He wasn't there.

Nor were you.

Exactly. Nobody was.

So nobody can say that James killed himself.

Mm. Anthony Baugh says so, too.

Well, God damn Anthony Baugh.

-He would say that, wouldn't he?

-Why?

Because he hated my son.

Hated and envied him.

Because you can give a boy an education...

..but you can't give him breeding.

But Anthony's family, really, isn't he?

James is home, my dear.

Would you excuse us now, please?

One more question.

Did Ellen visit you the night she died?

What an absurd idea.

Were you here at the club the night Ellen Mallam was playing?

I wouldn't miss it.

So you knew Ellen, I assume?

Watched her grow up. Lovely lass.

Breaks your heart, you know?

Was there anything different about her that night?

Anything unusual happen?

Well, she was never usually short of a lift.

Sorry?

Turns the lights out, locks the place up,

she was out here, sitting here on her own.

What did she say?

Just her lift never turned up.

Did she say who the lift was?

No. She just said, "I don't care, I'll walk."

Like, determined, you know?

If I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through the window.

'And she gives us this big smacker on the lips.

'She was...happy.'

Heading which way?

That way.

Towards Abberwick Hall?

It's a simple enough question, Tone - was it you

or was it James who shagged her before she died?

Well, it wasn't me, no.

Oh, dear. The thought of her and James would have hurt, wouldn't it?

But it wasn't James either, was it?

I nicked him twice before for being drunk behind the wheel.

Both times he was with a lad.

Different lads, but never any sign of any lasses.

And Billy? He just laughed at the idea of her and James.

James was queer. Everybody knew that. Except one person, of course.

Four prancing horses will draw your carriage.

You will be engraved in marble.

Earls and dukes will attend you.

And men and women everywhere...

..will weep...

..for their fallen hero.

'Ellen gave him hope.'

For the first and only time in his stupid life, he had hope.

-How'd she do that?

-By singing to him. A song called Silver Dagger.

-Silver Dagger?

-It was the last song she ever sang.

'It's about a mother who won't let go of her son.'

One more, then. This is for mothers everywhere.

# Don't sing love songs

# You'll wake your mother

# She's laying there

# Right by your side

# And in her right hand

# A silver dagger

# She says that I

# Can't be your bride

# All maids are false

# Says your mother

# They'll tell you wicked

# Winning lies

# And the very next evening

# They'll love another

# Leave you alone

# To pine and cry

# Go find yourself

# A rich young maiden

# And hope that she

# Will be your wife

# For I've been warned

# And I've decided

# To live alone

# All of my life... #

So what were your movements after the concert?

Packed up the instruments, offered Ellen a lift,

-but she declined because she was...

-DOOR BANGS

Carry on.

She was waiting for James to come back and pick her up,

-which obviously he did.

-Why do you say that?

Come on. We all know who was driving the car.

But it wasn't James's car that crashed. It was an old Austin.

-Well, then that's the car he was driving that night.

-No, no.

James was in his Volvo P1800 earlier outside the Miners' Welfare.

Well, then...

for some reason he must've come back for her in the Austin.

Why?

What car were you driving, Anthony?

Just one of the Abberwick cars. I don't remember which.

Don't you?

Ellen walked to the hall.

I have an eye witness.

Five miles on her own in the dark.

It is now nearly one in the morning

and Ellen will soon get into the car that will crash and drown her.

Where were you?

I was at home.

Stop wasting our time.

You were about to get a big surprise, weren't you?

Not to mention the countess.

Oh.

Is that why he paid for you to go to that posh school is it, Anthony?

So his wife could have a bit of well-spoken rough?

Or is this your way of saying, "Thank you, Hector"?

I was with Alethea when Ellen arrived.

Doing what, exactly?

How's the uprising going, village boy?

Oh, it's... It's coming along.

Give me some of that.

Good. Because I'm ready.

RADIO: '..resembles a battlefield after an uprising on a scale

'unequalled in the postwar period...'

That'll be you one day, my lady.

Your house will burn, baby, burn.

Oh, really? I'm so scared.

The working classes on the rise.

At last seeing through all our ruses to keep them enslaved.

Oh, Lord, what shall become of me?

You'll be up against a wall.

Oh, will I? Up against a wall...

And where will you be, village boy?

-I'll be standing right behind you with my gun in my...

-Sh.

VIOLIN PLAYS "SILVER DAGGER"

-This girl is insane!

-She's come to collect James, Alethea.

He wants to go to London with her.

Wants to drop out. Find his own space.

The police can deal with this.

Tell her she has ten minutes to get off my property!

-I can't talk to her!

-Oh, she still doesn't know?

Well, I think that it's about time that she did!

Alethea, why not just let him go with her?

He isn't what you think he is. He isn't clever enough.

Oh, and you are, I suppose?

Don't get ideas above your station, Anthony. Your parents ran a shop!

He's weak, Alethea.

And not very bright.

Have you ever met any Government ministers?

I wrote his essays all through school and Oxford.

-And were amply rewarded!

-Can't you see what you've turned him into?

He's a vain, lazy, stupid...

# And I've decided

# To live alone all of... #

Anthony?

Oh, Anthony...

I always worried you might sell your granny

-but I never thought you'd shag her!

-Make her shut up!

You are a total nightmare, Mrs Guyzance, do you know that?

Does Hector know?

Well...

Good luck.

Get rid of her.

I'll take you to the coach station, Ellen.

No, thanks. I've got a lift.

But she did get in that car. Who with?

I don't know. I went back upstairs.

That was the last I ever saw of Ellen.

Stay here. Don't talk to anybody.

ENGINE RUMBLES

I call them my steeds. They're like old friends, really.

Ellen Mallam came here the night she died.

You've been lying to us.

Isn't that against the rules for barons?

Yes, she was here.

Were you expecting her?

I thought I was dreaming.

VIOLIN PLAYS "SILVER DAGGER"

Shall I tell you something, Chief Inspector?

If I'd been 40 years younger, I wouldn't have hesitated.

I would have run off with her myself.

You knew why she'd come, then?

To rescue James.

# Right by your side

# And in her right hand

# A silver dagger

# She says that I... #

'James wasn't at all what he appeared to be.

'He was a frightened young man, really.

'Desperately unsure of what he wanted of life.'

Desperately unsure he could deliver

what life seemed to be asking of him.

What life was asking of him? Or his mother?

Where was she while all this was happening?

-You'll have to ask her that.

-Oh, no, I'm asking you.

-No, no.

-What?

We spoke to Anthony Baugh.

We know where your wife was.

Where is your wife now, please?

Asleep. Exhausted.

Somebody's responsible for the death of Ellen Mallam and I think she knows who,

so could you go and tell your wife "wakey, wakey", now, please?

All right.

You do it your way, I'll do it mine, all right?

I'm sick to the back teeth of these toffee-nosed hypocrites.

-All right. We'll do it your way.

-Right.

Ellen Mallam walked here at 1am the night she died.

According to your husband, she came here to talk to James.

You were in your bedroom.

With him.

Oh, aye, he's given us all the gory details.

So what happened next, when Ellen tried to take your son away from you?

VIOLIN PLAYS "SILVER DAGGER"

Go back to bed.

Come with me. It's not as hard as you think, James.

Go inside, James.

There's an amazing world out here, beautiful man.

You'll find different friends, do different things - I promise.

I'll help you.

Just...forget about me, Ellen.

No, I won't just forget about you.

The police will be here shortly, my dear,

so I suggest that you pack up your fiddle

and clear off back where you belong.

Let him choose his own life, Alethea.

He has chosen.

Haven't you, James?

Get back in the house.

Now!

GLASS SHATTERS

For goodness' sake. Oh, my God, James!

Are you all right?

Now do you see what you've done?!

'So Anthony had gone upstairs, yes?'

Yes.

Another man she had twisted round her little finger.

Really, what was the attraction?

Why all this fuss about her?

-For goodness' sake, Alethea, she was an extraordinary creature!

-So...

She left in a car.

Driven by whom?

We have no idea.

We were with James and his cut head.

James was...hardly conscious.

Chief Inspector, it seems to me

that you would like us to solve this mystery for you.

And you've obviously failed to come up with any evidence

of who was behind the wheel or you'd have produced it by now.

That's where you're wrong.

-John...?

-No, no. They're not getting away with this.

We have a blood sample.

Taken from the crashed car. It's quite rare.

A2B, James's blood type.

So presumably one of yours as well.

-Blood types...?

-It's quite simple, Mrs Blackstone.

James was A2B,

so one of his parents must be.

What are you?

O.

And you?

It was my blood.

I drove the car.

Somebody had to.

James was incapable, my wife was under the influence,

so I took the nearest car and drove Ellen home for her baggage.

Except we didn't get there.

I lost control of the car on a bend.

I lost consciousness for a while.

When I came to, we were upside down in the river.

Ellen was trapped.

I tried to free her. The water was rising.

I kicked my door open and I scrambled out.

God help me, I tried to save her,

but I couldn't free her foot!

I talked to her.

And I held her hand until she was covered by the water

and then she drowned.

You could've just told us all this from the beginning, man.

What, and have all of this brought up for public scrutiny?

My life - our lives - a laughing stock?

There go the aristocracy again! Mad, degenerate, sexually incontinent,

no longer fit to lead...

Who wants to be led by people

who can leave a dead girl in a drowned car all night?!

You're under arrest.

He's under arrest when I say he is.

Your blood type's B, Hector.

I checked in the hospital.

-What?

-That's just basic police work, Sergeant.

Then how could there be an A2B blood stain in the car?

Well, yes. Good point. How could there be, Sergeant?

CLEARS THROAT NERVOUSLY

-Must have been some kind of mistake.

-Yeah.

Just like Hector thinking that James was his son.

I was never under that misapprehension, Sergeant.

We have no evidence except your confession.

Do you wish to retract it?

No. Someone should pay.

I was brought up to honour a debt.

You are a fool, Hector.

Perhaps so.

But I can live with being a fool, Alethea.

What I couldn't live with, however,

was knowing that I'd as good as killed my own son.

How could the poor chap live, after all you'd done to him?

No, it was...

a silly accident