Tuesday at Jackie's It's My Shout: Short Films from Wales


Tuesday at Jackie's

Series of short films made by up-and-coming Welsh film-makers and actors. This first film is about the awkwardness of first dates.


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Transcript


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SOFT JAZZ MUSIC

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He's just sitting there, right, completely confused.

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Everybody's looking at him, but he hasn't got a clue what's going on.

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And then the magician... Cheers, mate.

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..he turns and slowly lifts back his sleeve, but then he says,

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"That's not my watch. That's just a jam doughnut."

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Do you get it? Because of what the magician said at the sta...

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..the start of the joke.

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Oh, right, the start of the joke, yeah.

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I forget - was Tony Blair Prime Minister then, or...?

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Oh, I'm joking.

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Oh, sorry. It did go on a bit.

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I think I was just trying to delay eating...this.

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Yeah, it's pretty, um...

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Grim? Grim!

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Sorry. My mate, now ex-mate, Tim recommended it.

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I was hoping for a sort of,

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um, retro, cool, kind of Pulp Fiction-y type vibe,

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instead of... A converted pub. Yeah.

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Yeah.

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MAN COUGHS

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But, hey, I've got plenty more crap jokes, if you'd like.

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Maybe you should save them for next time.

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Oh.

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So there's going to be another...date, so to speak?

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Perhaps we should try and get through this one first, yeah?

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Did you know a date,

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which originates from the Latin term "tempus", meaning "time",

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is actually a fairly recent construct of human evolution?

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Yeah. It's an institution that's only really been introduced

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in the last couple of centuries and, if you're asking me,

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it's quite, um...emblematic of how we, as humans, have developed

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from, you know, hunter-gatherers into more civilised beings.

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Wikipedia.

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No! No! SHE LAUGHS

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PHONE BEEPS

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I am merely a student of anthropology and sociology,

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so to speak. Yep.

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Sorry.

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Oh, it's my mum.

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Do you mind? Sorry.

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WHITE NOISE BUILDS

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HE SIGHS

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LAUGHTER

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Well done. Cos that's what really gets a girl going -

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anthropology and reciting Wikipedia articles.

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Piss off! Huh?

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How was your meals?

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Interesting. Lovely, thank you.

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Who are you supposed to be, then?

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Who do you think, love?

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Er...

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Peggy from EastEnders? SHE LAUGHS

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Are you taking the...? Could we see the dessert menus, please?

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Sorry, I didn't mean to...

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She's spitting in my dessert now, isn't she? Probably.

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But it was worth it.

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On our first date,

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he started wittering on about gluten-free waffles.

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LAUGHTER You should've said "waffling on"!

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Luckily, I didn't have to invite him in.

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Told him I'd locked myself out

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and that my dad was coming with a replacement key.

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Not a very good tempus then, eh?

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Made your minds up yet? Ladies first.

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Oh, I just had a question about the Lady Baltimore cake.

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Yeah? Does it contain nuts? Cos I'm allergic.

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Well, the ingredients are on the menu.

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Er, yeah, I know but...

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I wouldn't have worried. Yeah, well, he's not exactly, um...

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Oh, what's his name now? Ca.. Ca... Casanova?

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..Christian Grey. LAUGHTER

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Yeah, well, the fourth date was so dire,

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I kissed him just to get him to shut up. Classy.

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Still, he waited, like, four dates before making a move.

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That's pretty gentlemanly.

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Yeah, well, you know the saying,

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"Good things come to those who wait"?

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That's balls.

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That bad? It felt like he was giving me a dental examination

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with his tongue.

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So did you...let Roger see the rabbit?

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LAUGHTER CONTINUES God, no.

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But after we broke up, he started seeing my sister.

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I didn't know they were sisters!

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I didn't know you were sisters!

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# I didn't know you were sisters

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# Sisters

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# Bom-ba-bom... #

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You know that song?

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No?

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Er...

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I think we need a few more minutes to decide.

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Thanks.

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Oh, God, look at the time.

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I really should be getting home.

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Really? Yeah, you know, work tomorrow and a killer nine to five.

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I'll walk you home. No, it's fine.

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Please.

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Er...

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Right.

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Sure.

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Great.

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Cheers. Uh-huh.

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Uh-huh.

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WIND HOWLS

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Oh! Love, close that door!

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Er, this is me.

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Right. Great.

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So, I had a great... Thanks for...

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Oh. Ladies first.

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Well, Karen, I had a really great... Whoa. Claire.

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I'm sorry, what? Did he just say my...?

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The name. Whose name?

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He did. My name.

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Is... Claire. ..Claire.

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Yeah, Claire. I know.

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What did I say? Karen.

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Right.

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Crap. It's fine.

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No, I'm really sorry, it's just... It's fine.

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Oh, man, that's brutal.

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Weird. Yeah, talk about a mood killer.

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Seriously, mate?

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Yeah, you could say adios to being invited in.

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Oh, will you just...?!

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Sorry.

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There's a lot going on in my head tonight.

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Well...

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..goodnight, then.

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Actually, Claire, I just wanted to say...

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..I had a really good time tonight.

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You know, despite the crap food and even crapper jokes.

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You're just really cool and easy to talk to, and you're insanely pretty.

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Lovely contours and bone structure.

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Sorry. I've literally no idea what I'm saying.

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You're just really nice.

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King of the adjectives!

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Not bad, man. Oh, now I feel bad.

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Oh, OK. It is pretty sweet.

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Call me tomorrow?

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Oh, kiss her!

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Dude, just go for it, man!

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Kiss her!

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BOTH: Kiss her!

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Kiss her! Just go for it, man!

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Kiss her!

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Well, goodnight, then.

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Goodnight.

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UPBEAT ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC

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Well, what happened?

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Another moron? Bet he was.

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Did you... Let him kiss you?

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THEY LAUGH AND CHEER

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She said! She said!

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You said we were going to give it another shot.

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Pfft!

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SLOW, ROMANTIC MUSIC

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# There was no finer to buy her

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# You can all just see

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# She looks around her

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# Profounder, would her smile not be?

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# It took me hours when flowers is a simpler gift

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# But, for my baby, there is nothing that I would not do

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# Just see this work of art... #

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Slate 45, take one.

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As film-making trainee programme It's My Shout

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begins a summer shooting,

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we go behind the scenes of Tuesday At Jackie's.

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First, how did these aspiring film-makers

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approach the complexities of lighting?

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Well, the trick is to gain access to the BBC's Pobol Y Cwm studios.

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Yeah, so we're going for some low-key lighting.

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Um, we've got a few different light sources

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that are kind of integral to the set already.

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We've got these, you know, the zebra crossing over here.

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We've got some street lamps and then also,

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what with it being, you know, a ready-made set,

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you've got a rail running across where the door to the flat is,

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which gives us options of rigging up lights there.

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Are you happy for me to...?

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Having to shoot the main diner sequence in the Pobol Y Cwm bar

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helped resolve one of the team's creative dilemmas.

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So, yeah, originally, we had this major idea,

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we were going to get a Pulp Fiction sort of cafe, sort of thing.

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American diner, big, huge, neon everywhere.

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We had that on one side and on the other side we had, like,

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the idea that the place would be a rundown pub

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converted into a sort of American diner.

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So, with a ready-made set to hand, it was a no-brainer.

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They went with the converted pub idea.

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MAN COUGHS

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Professional lighting technician Robin

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has worked on shows like Doctor Who

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and found the production's limited lighting set-up...

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well, let's just say "stimulating".

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Um, I think...it's...

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If you're look for Doctor Who lighting effects,

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then you go to a Doctor Who studio.

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Trying to work within this sort of environment,

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you've always got limitations -

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you know, you've always got to work with what's around,

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what's available to you.

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Not big money involved, so it's always a compromise.

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Just make it work, make it happen.

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You've got bounce light.

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Basically, throwing light off the back here.

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It's gone really well. It's been really fun

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experiencing all the atmosphere and everything.

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'It's been really great learning from Robin,

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'who's the lighting mentor.

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'He's got a lot of knowledge to pass on,

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'so it's been really good learning all that.'

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The streetlight's coming in.

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With everything set up and under control,

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director Alex can explore the creative possibilities

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of lighting effects.

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Basically, this is a stylised approach

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to the real world, an imagined world of this short film.

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I thought it would be quite fun to...

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yeah, basically use dramatic lighting cues to, kind of,

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transition between the two worlds...

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Turnover!

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I wouldn't have worried.

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Yeah, well, he's not exactly, um... Oh, what's his name now?

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Ca... Ca... Casanova? ..Christian Grey.

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..and spotlighting the ex-girlfriends,

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just to add some style and to make the film stand out.

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WHITE NOISE BUILDS

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Later, obviously, we're going to be shooting outside.

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Very much, sort of, totally different lighting effect.

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You know, we've got to mimic the fact you've got the moon,

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you've got streetlights, um...

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We're not doing a huge amount of shots outside,

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and they do seem to be, inverted commas, "relatively easy ones",

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so we'll wait and see.

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Having the Pobol Y Cwm backlot available

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meant they could make the most of the film's exterior scenes.

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So the third act of the film, on the doorstep outside,

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that was really the premise of the whole film.

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Actually, Claire, I just wanted to say...

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..I had a really good time tonight.

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It started with them walking down a street,

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and it ended with the cut ends now,

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but I think three night shoots outside,

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you know, in the harsh Welsh weather,

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maybe wasn't appealing to most.

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At quarter to one in the morning, how is producer Lemarl feeling?

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Terrible!

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They're doing a lot better than I am,

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but, no, I think the energy's still up at the moment.

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You can feel it's dropping a little bit,

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but, er, hopefully, if that becomes a problem,

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we'll just get in and wake everyone up!

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As filming comes to an end

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for It's My Shout's first production of the summer,

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the crew celebrate a successful three days of filming

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at the BBC studios and on location in Caerphilly.

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And, for some, who knows -

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the beginning of a career in the film industry.

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'You've tried everything.'

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Does it hurt you to touch the control? Yeah.

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'There's nowhere else to turn.'

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To sign my name would be an incredible thing.

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'Graham needs a better way to communicate.

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'What if the best brains in Britain could help to fix your life?'

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My challenge is immense.

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You know you're doing it for the right reasons, so you keep going.

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Gah! Did it just work? It's life-changing.

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I can't thank you enough.

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The series starts with Tuesday at Jackie's. First dates are hard enough as it is. Whether it's the awkward silence or the constant need to keep rambling on, no-one does a perfect first date.

Actually, the only thing that could make a first date worse, is if your ex's showed up - right? Followed by a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the film, which is part of the It's My Shout production training scheme.


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