Episode 6 Lip Service

Here she is, the actress.

Don't. I think I'm going to be sick.

Urgh!

How could it be opening night already?

Last night, I actually had the dream.

-I was on stage naked...

-Cheeky Chekhov.

-..and I just...

KNOCK ON DOOR ..I froze.

450 people staring at my lady garden,

waiting for the show to start.

-What if I totally screw up?

-You'll be fine.

Hello.

Just thought I'd pop in and say good luck for tonight.

-Ah!

-She's having a breakdown.

It's just... I've never had a proper part like this before.

That's why I got you a first night survival kit.

Ah!

-You shouldn't have.

-I wanted to.

Can't open it until you get to the theatre, all right?

-Where's our tickets, then?

-Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Um...

-Ed...

-Thank you.

Sadie.

Lexy.

Er...

Er, has anyone spoken to Sam?

I've left her messages, but no joy.

-Haven't you been running with her?

-No, I haven't.

Bollocks! I need to jump in the shower.

Anyone you want to bring?

It's not like I've got much chance of meeting someone by tonight.

-Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

-So, there IS someone?

Yeah. I mean, no!

Er...they won't want a ticket.

No offence, but seeing as I'm the only one

likely to be getting any later...

Oh, Lexy!

This for the after show party? Don't know if I've got the legs.

Are you kidding? You've got great legs!

Yeah, I better go. Break a leg.

Yes, that would work. Wouldn't it?

They wouldn't expect me to go on, then, would they?

You'll be fine.

Um, listen.

Thanks for all your support and everything.

Means a lot.

It's all right.

God, I hope I don't make a tit of myself.

You're always making a tit of yourself.

OK. Er, OK.

That's a really nice lip balm you're wearing.

What is it?

It's a medicated chapstick.

Right.

Sexy(!)

See you later. I'm getting the drinks in.

Lexy knows Vanya. Like, she actually knows it.

I mean, what are the chances of that? What if I'm rubbish?

-I'm sure she won't tell you if you are.

-Thanks, Ed(!)

Don't know why you're so worried, anyway. I thought you...

Oh! You fancy her!

No, I don't.

Yes, you do!

OK.

I just don't know if she likes me or not.

I mean, I think she might, but you know what I'm like.

I'm just crap at picking up on these things.

She did mention someone.

Really? Who?

Just someone. But they didn't need a ticket to the show.

Oh, great. So, it's someone who's going to the show.

Or...

Or someone who's IN the show.

I am someone who's in the show. I mean, do you think she meant me?

Or Nora. Why didn't you tell me that you liked her?

I just felt weird carrying on like normal without Cat around.

Lexy's great.

-Going to open it now, right?

-Of course!

-Yeah!

"A little something for before and after the show."

Champagne. For after.

What's for before?

Imodium.

What do you want?

Not the warmest welcome I've ever had.

-Well, I'm late.

-Um, I won't hold you up. Look...

I just need you to know that you were wrong.

-There's nothing new there.

-I really, um...

I really didn't know about Cat and Frankie.

You want an apology? Is that why you're here?

I'm very sorry, OK?

Might want to work on the whole apology thing.

That level of sincerity, it's a bit overpowering(!)

Look, I get it. You want to deal with this on your own.

I understand. I'll leave you alone.

But if you ever need someone, you've got my number.

MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

Right, everyone.

We've put a lot of hard work into Operation Beehive

these past few weeks

and it all hinges on today's raid.

So, listen up. DS Murray?

Yeah.

OK, um...

Our intention is to conduct a raid

on what used to be the old miller warehouse.

From our information,

it appears that the drop will take place

between 1730 and 1900 hours today.

If you want to check in your briefing notes, at the map,

we have a good observation point.

It's imperative that we wait for the goods to change hands.

I urge you to be cautious. Watch each other's backs.

We have no intel suggesting that they'll be armed,

but I don't need to tell you what this gang's capable of.

-OK? OFFICERS:

-All right.

Are you all right?

I'm here, aren't I?

We need to present a united front today.

For the team's sake.

-Can we do that?

-Of course.

-I told you about it weeks ago!

-I wish you'd reminded me.

-I did, I told you to put it in your diary.

-Jeez!

I'll be there about 3:00-ish.

The eagle has landed.

I'm sorry. I know you're busy.

It's just... It's never any fun without you there.

I'm sorry too.

-Ready to go in ten, OK?

-Yeah, OK.

-Morning.

-Oh!

I wanted to clear the air about Ed.

-I don't want there to be any awkwardness between us.

-Oh, me too.

I mean, I don't think he's ready for a real relationship right now.

You know, he's got this whole sci-fi geek thing going on.

And, you know, so many cartoon women in his life.

I'm just not sure he knows how to deal with a real one.

I know he's your friend and everything,

but I'm afraid I just had to finish it with him.

I hope he's not too upset.

How's he, um... How's he coping?

-Um... He's bearing up.

-Good.

Good, yeah. That's good.

You'll never guess what Nora just said to me.

Apparently, SHE broke up with Ed. Like, what planet is she on?!

Know what? If it gets her off my back, she can believe what she likes.

Oh, Lexy's coming tonight

and she said I had great legs. That's good, isn't it?

-And Ed said...

-Maggie wants a divorce.

What?!

Oh, Hugh. I'm sorry.

She's going to marry that long streak of piss, Thomas Delaware.

Why should they get married and live the celebrity couple lifestyle?

Yeah, I know, I know.

It's not fair.

She's making the biggest mistake of her life!

Listen, why don't I cover for you with Rory, OK?

It's only a lighting check.

-You can just stay here, collect your thoughts...

-Think I should call her?

No! No, I think you need to get yourself focused on the show tonight.

You're right,

You're right.

-I've got to be on form tonight.

-Yes.

-Hello, skiver.

-Fuck off. I went to see Sam.

Hold the phone.

-What happened?

-She didn't want to know.

Why do I always do it? Why do I let myself get sucked in?

-Cos you're too nice.

-What was I thinking?

I was imagining there was some kind of connection between us,

when her girlfriend just died.

Such an idiot!

Listen, you're not going to waste any more energy over her.

I mean it. You should go for Tess.

She's funny, she's hot and the two of you get on great.

Maybe I will.

I'm sick of falling into the same old patterns.

I find someone who's a bit damaged,

I put them back together and then when they're all mended...

They fuck off.

How about someone actually wanting me, for a change?

Sam, can you hear me OK?

Loud and clear.

Right, when we go, I'll take the warehouse team.

What's the matter?

Nothing. Fucking hell!

Why does there always have to be something wrong?

Sam, there IS something wrong!

I think maybe you should go home.

I'm going nowhere.

No, that won't work. I'll be in Aspen.

Just let me know when you've got it organised.

I like that. It's a very vivid piece.

It's a lovely, pleasing shape too. It really follows you round the room.

Yes, it does.

It's with me here.

Here.

-And here too.

-Interesting. How much is it?

£35,000.

Well, it's unique.

-Can you give me some information on the piece?

-Sure.

Just...this one here.

Thanks. May I possibly use your bathroom?

Course. Just through here, madam.

HE EXHALES AUDIBLY

You've, um... you've missed your light.

-OFFSTAGE:

-Not my fucking wife!

I've had an epiphany!

I'm not sure we've got time for one of those today.

I'm actually seeing things clearly for the first time in months.

Oh! Well, that's great, Hugh. I'm proud of you.

I've just been putting all my energy in completely the wrong direction.

-TANNOY:

-'Can Miss Roberts return to the stage, please?'

This is it, Tess.

-I'm going to give it everything I've got.

-Brilliant!

I'm going to give that woman the husband she deserves.

I'm going to get her back.

What?!

-SONG:

-# Well, I think That I'm in love

# Even though I've only spoken to you

# About twice... #

I'd like a basket of red roses. Same message as before.

And the word love in a floral tribute.

-Um...

-No, it's not for a funeral!

-Come on.

-Rory wants you on stage. Everyone's waiting.

-OK, I'll wait.

Please, Hugh. I really need to run our scenes.

And look down...

Hi, Dr Price.

Do you mind if I get a second opinion? Sorry.

Excuse me a minute.

I have a young boy. Minor car accident.

What's the prognosis?

Not good.

He has to go and see Sex-ray and obviously I can't take him.

For God's sake, Declan! I'm not bloody taking him.

Oh, come on, Lexy. I'm so tired of being ignored.

I don't care. I'm so over it. I don't even fancy him anymore.

You won't mind taking him yourself, then.

I bet he thinks I go up there just to take a look at him.

-You DO go there just to look at him.

-That's great, throw that back in my face!

Declan, you're a doctor in A&E.

You're going to have to go to X-ray sooner or later.

Get over it.

-Oh, please, Lexy!

-Absolutely not! No way.

Ryder from Murray. It's half-past.

Bad info?

Could've had a tip-off.

Wait. I can see Vehicle A approaching.

All units from Ryder, we're on. Stand by.

-OK?

-Yep.

-Ready?

-Let's go.

-Stay here and watch for the drop.

-OK.

All units from DS Murray.

On my signal, OK?

-Go.

-Go!

SHOUTING

Got him. Got him.

I'll be with you in a minute, all right?

He's got a fractured tibia and my friend fancies you.

But you probably already knew that. Right?

-Probably.

-OK.

And so you don't fancy Declan back?

OK. Whatever. But...he's really funny.

-Really?

-And great company.

And he's not THAT bad a guy, actually.

Underneath all the bravado.

Can you please just put him out of his misery?

Cos, no offence, but I'm fucking sick of hearing about you.

-Get your hands off me!

-Come on. It's all right.

-RADIO:

-'Sam! Sam! Argh!'

'Sam! Sam!'

CRACKLING AND SHOUTING OVER RADIO

SHE STRUGGLES FOR BREATH

-Oh, hello.

-Are you avoiding me?

No, not at all. I was just getting myself a...

-An enema bag.

-Yeah, listen.

I don't take kindly to being cruised at work.

-That's a bit presumptuous.

-You might have fared better

just asking me out for dinner

instead of expecting me to follow you into the nearest toilets.

Having said that, I am free tonight.

I might let you buy me dinner if you promise to behave like a grown-up.

It's a bit short notice. I might need to check my diary.

I'll be there.

Oh, God! Ryder!

I need an ambulance around the back of the warehouse,

as soon as possible. It's OK. It's going to be OK.

-Hello.

-Hello.

It's going to take more than a bunch of flowers.

They're for Tess.

That's very sweet of you.

Of course, it is a big opportunity for her.

I mean, who knows if she'll ever get another part.

I think she's really talented, actually.

What would I know? I'm just a geek, right?

Right. How IS your book going?

Good, yeah.

I've changed the lead character to an evil, self-obsessed hobbit.

-It wasn't a very big rewrite.

-I shouldn't worry.

It's only wanking material for geeky teenage boys, after all.

Still, gives you something to do in the evenings.

Oh, don't worry about me.

Tess and I have always got our darts tournament to look forward to.

Speaking of which, if you've got any of those signed photos left over,

I'd be glad to take them off your hands.

-SONG:

-# Save it

# Save it for me

# Cos I crave it... #

You're beautiful.

# Crave your poetry

# And I stay too long

# Linger on inside your perfect song

# Crash and burn before your eyes

# They lie

# Like mine

# Oh, but

# Save it for me

# Take it

# Take it from me

# Cos I'll break it down

# Break it slowly and I... #

Oh, hey! How's it going?

Yeah, yeah. You know, pretty nuts.

Um, listen. Thank you for my awesome present.

Love champagne, and the Imodium's come in pretty useful, actually.

Not that I've got the runs or anything!

I've got something for you.

Close your eyes. Hold out your hands.

OK.

Ta-da!

Do you like it?

You can't afford this.

-Do you like it?

-I love it!

Thank you...

..so much.

-And...

-Uh-huh?

A ticket to the play tonight.

Oh, come on. No-one needs to know we're together.

OK. Yeah.

-Will he be OK?

-You need to wait outside.

Will he...?

Hugh?

Yes?

Listen, I didn't want to bring this up so close to curtain-up,

but your wife called.

She's been trying to get a hold of you on your mobile.

Good things come to those that wait.

She said you're in breach of your restraining order

and if you carry on sending things to the house

then the police are going to come to the theatre.

Sorry. Better press on. OK!

So, opening night! Enjoy yourselves.

You've all worked really hard and I'm very proud of you.

All of you.

Hugh.

Break a leg.

Ah. Thanks, Nora.

Thanks, Sharon.

HUGH: It's just infatuation.

How can you love a man who waxes his eyebrows?

Why aren't you ready? You need to get your costume on.

You screwed me like an old dog. Like an old, blind dog.

-Should've stabbed me in the heart.

-This is important. Lexy's coming.

OK! OK! Humiliating yourself, running after that bell-end.

I took one in court for you. Remember?

What about that? I took six points on my licence for you.

-Trousers!

-Without me, you'd be on a scooter.

Bloody answer-phone cut me off! Fucking hell! I'm just going to have to go out there.

No, no. You can't. You'll get arrested.

Remember? Last time? With the police and the ASBO. That was bad.

Just... Just get dressed, Hugh. Please, just get dressed.

How can I give my Vanya now,

when I feel so empty inside?

-Hello.

-Someone's made an effort.

Yeah, I'm not the only one!

Shall we go in?

-No, thanks. I'm waiting for someone.

-Don't tell me.

We're finally going to meet the phantom girlfriend?

Leaving the little missus at home, is she?

Look, don't drop me in it. As far as you know, she's my aunt, OK?

We'll see you in there.

-TANNOY:

-'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Act One beginners call.'

Hugh?

Hugh, are you in there? We've had our call.

MURMURING

Have some tea, my love, Won't you?

I don't really fancy it.

200 years from now, the people we are beating a path for,

will they even give us a thought, Nanya?

People may not, but God will.

That's nicely put, Nanya. Thank you.

(Please, Hugh.)

(Fuck!)

Sleep well?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Too well.

Ever since they arrived, everything's upside down.

You sleep when you should be working.

You drink at the wrong time.

You eat all the wrong things.

Red wine. Spicy food.

Tickets?

Enjoy.

Practically broke my neck to get here.

Oh, well. Never mind. It's not the first time.

Anyway, now I'm here, I'll stay over.

-At least I'll get the recommended dose of sleep.

-Oh, good!

I'm so glad. It's so rare that you stay the night.

I don't suppose you've eaten anything?

No, I haven't.

Then, you must have supper with us.

We eat in the evenings, these days.

Hey.

-They're late!

-Yeah, well, you know Cath.

Whatever you needed to do at the office can wait.

I mean, can't you just forget about work for one bloody night, Lauren?

DOORBELL RINGS

Oh!

-Come in. How are you?

-Good.

-Hey, Cath. How are you?

-Good.

I'm sorry.

I couldn't get there in time.

You were right.

I'm so sorry.

Forget it.

You too, Uncle Vanya.

Drunk with the doctor again.

What a pair!

It doesn't suit you at your age.

-Uncle Vanya!

-Ow!

What's age got to do with anything?

Drink...gives me the illusion I'm alive.

Even a mirage is better than nothing.

The hay is cut! It's been raining day in, day out.

And...it's lying out there rotting,

and you go on about mirages!

APPLAUSE

That was a great first half! Keep up the good work!

-I suppose you think that was funny?

-It was just a little joke.

It's what we do in the theatre, Tess.

You know, a bit of opening night fun.

Lighten up, yeah?

It's quite long, isn't it?

-You enjoying it?

-Tess is great.

Wonder where Sadie got to.

Maybe her "aunt" took her for some "tea."

Think you can get arrested for that!

PHONE BEEPS

-What do you want?

-Yeah, I'm going to have a...

Just wait a sec.

'Hey, I...

'I just wondered if you were at the hospital.

'Shit! Sorry.

'It's nothing. Sorry.'

-Hi.

-What are you doing here?

How's it going?

Nora's playing tricks on me on stage. I told you she'd be like this!

Just ignore her.

Do you die in this act?

She was all over me like we were best buds earlier.

-Did you say anything to her?

-No.

I couldn't help it. She's evil. She does something to me.

-She's like kryptonite.

-You really ARE a geek.

Lexy's loving it.

-What? What did she say?

-She thinks you're great.

-No, she doesn't!

-She can't take her eyes off you.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-TANNOY:

-'This is your five-minute call...'

-Go, go, go.

-I'll catch you after for a drink.

-OK.

If Lexy doesn't catch you first.

'The person you are calling is unable to take your call.'

-TANNOY:

-'Ladies and gentlemen, Please take your seats.

'The second half is about to commence.'

# Find a place of calm Amongst the chaos

# Cos in they walked with muddy shoes

# Left footprints on my country blues

# And everything you are... #

-You don't want blood on your hands, do you?

-Turn it off!

-Think what this does to a dog psychologically.

-Give it to me!

Get on stage!

# Once again, tiger

# He's a fighter but he's scared of you

# Living how you wanted

# When you know you've got little to lose

# Yes, he's gone

# Yes, he's gone

# Yes, he's gone... #

He uses a body double, you know? Oh, and one more thing.

You remember that Christmas when you got food poisoning

and had to stay in bed all week?

I shagged your sister!

It's over, isn't it?

The doctor, he used to come Here once a month, at most, and...

..it was hard to persuade him.

But now, he's... he's here every day.

Don't remember the name of the shop, then?

PHONE BEEPS

Excuse me, just...

Um, right. I just have to...

It's work, so just five minutes.

-I'm not beautiful.

-You have beautiful hair.

No!

When someone is plain, people always say,

"You have beautiful hair. You have beautiful eyes."

I've loved him, now, for six years!

I look at the door and wait,

hoping that he'll come in at any moment, but...

He...

He never looks at me.

Doesn't see me.

-Well, why did you stand me up?

-Not here.

Right, just what exactly are you fucking playing at?

-What?

-When you stole this watch, yeah?

Did you know that it belonged to an important client of Jo's? Did you?

I didn't steal it. I found it.

Oh, well I don't give a shit. Hmm?

I have just had the most excruciating dinner of my life.

I should have known.

-You said you liked the watch.

-I thought it was a gift.

I can barely pay the rent.

You're fucked up. You're so fucked up.

You're living in a fantasy world, aren't you?

I'll make it up to you.

No! No!

-I'm sorry.

-What was I thinking? You...

You stay away from me and my wife, OK?

# Superman's handed his cloak in

# He's in the corner

# And he's smoking again

# He's smoking again

# He said it's tough

# They give no quarrel

# He's had enough and called his daughter and son

# In an hour he'll be gone

# Can I thank you

# For the countless rescues? #

KNOCK AT DOOR

# All the lives you've saved

# There's still a life to take

# Today, today. #

I thought you were out.

Doesn't matter.

HUGH SOBS

We have to go on with our lives, Uncle Vanya.

We shall rejoice and look back on our present unhappiness

with tenderness and understanding.

We shall hear the angels.

We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.

We shall see all our sufferings drown in the mercy

that will flood the earth.

You have had no joy in your life, Uncle Vanya.

But you wait. You just wait.

We shall rest.

We shall rest.

CHEERING

I should have listened to Ryder.

Wasn't your fault.

He told me to go home and I refused to.

And because of that, he could have died.

He didn't.

Because of bad choices that I made.

You've got to stop punishing yourself.

-You didn't attack Ryder.

-It was my fault.

He told me I shouldn't be there.

I knew he was right.

We'd have a suspect in custody

and every little bit of his story would add up.

But somehow... I knew I could...

I could always...spot the lie,

when no-one else could.

Somehow...

..deep down...

..I always knew about Cat.

You have to stop this.

I knew when Cat was thinking about her.

I didn't want to believe it, so I put it to the back of my mind.

The same way I ignored Ryder today.

SHE SIGHS

God!

Every choice I make is fucked!

Your instincts are good.

You have to trust yourself.

I can't trust myself anymore.

I can't trust anyone.

You can trust me.

# I walked all alone At the end of the night

# And whispered your name in the dark

# You stood out a mile from the secrets and lies

# And found a straight line to my heart

# Right from the start... #

-Can I have a champagne, please?

-That was marvellous.

What a great performance. Brilliant.

Oh, thank you.

So, the audience were very appreciative.

I thought it went rather well.

You know, apart from one or two little hiccups.

But I think you got away with it.

Who do you think you are?

Dame Helen Mirren? Judy Dench?

Like, what is your problem?

Or are you just one of those women who hates other women?

Can you not feel good about yourself

unless you're making somebody else feel like shit?

Are you THAT insecure?

-I...

-Yeah.

-There you are!

-Tess.

You were amazing! And you look gorgeous.

Yeah, well, who for?

Oh, well. It's only an opening night.

I mean, it's no big deal.

Just took me 29 years to get to this one.

Probably take me about 60 till I get to the next.

-Did she leave you a message?

-Her phone was switched off.

Yes.

"Sorry. Had to go. Hospital called. You were great."

In the first half.

Listen.

It must be a nightmare going out with a doctor.

Long hours. All those germs.

Be great going out with Lexy.

Cheer up, sad sack. There'll be other nights.

I'm going to get us a drink.

# I didn't mean to go

# It's not like I didn't try

# Still trying to work out

# Where I'm going

# It's not like I didn't cry

# I wanted to tell you why... #

SHE MOANS

ALARM SOUNDS

ALARM STOPS

This doesn't look very good, does it?

Janice. Didn't know you were back.

Good job I am. Looks like you'll be needing a lift.

What? So you can piss off with my money again?

I didn't see your name on it.

Oh! This is nice. Can I have it?

-No.

-Why not?

It's broken.

ALARM SOUNDS

CAR ENGINE REVS

Hello! Anyone home?

Lexy?

PHONE RINGS

Hey. Hey, Tess. How's it going?

'Fine.'

Look, Tess.

I'm really sorry. I, um...

'Oh, no, no. Don't be silly.

'Duty calls and all that.

'Are you still at the hospital?'

Er, yeah.

Yeah, I am.

'Oh, well, I won't keep you. Night.'

# Your favourite coat

# Those shoes you don't want to wear when it rains

# So I'll fly away when the leaves begin to fall

# Fly away when the cold wind blows against my door

# Fly away to hide beneath the sun

# And leaving in September

# So winter never comes

# Winter never comes

# I'll fly away

# When the leaves have hit the floor

# Fly away when the cold wind blows against my door

# Fly away

# To hide beneath the sun

# Leaving in September

# So winter never comes.

# So winter never comes. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd