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Monster Made in Wales

Monster

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Transcript

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Die! Die! Attack! Mam, Mam! Tell her. She's spoiling our game.

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Will you be nice, boys?

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Stop being so nasty. She's just trying to join in.

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But she's stepping on all of our dinosaurs.

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Watch it!

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-Ah! Mam!

-What did I just say?

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'You see, no-one is ever born a monster.

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'It doesn't happen overnight. It takes years of always giving in to them.'

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-Yes, Princess?

-I want a horse.

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-Can we get the new Mighty Man adventure game?

-It's mega good!

-If you save up for it, you can.

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-A horse?

-A really big one.

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-Maybe when you're older.

-I said I want a horse.

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Of course you do.

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-But Amber always gets what she wants.

-Shoo!

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'It means never ever thinking that that person could ever do anything wrong.'

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-Go on!

-ALL: Cerys! Cerys!

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'It means always making excuses for them, no matter what they do.'

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(Come to Mummy.)

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She just doesn't know her own strength.

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And the crowd go wild! It's a miracle!

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Come on now. Oh...

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Erm... Oh...

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-Mike!

-Amber!

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Have something proper first. Have a sandwich.

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'But the way to really make a monster was by hardly ever, almost never, saying...'

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No, Amber! SHE SCREAMS

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'She wasn't always a nightmare. She could be nice as well.'

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Where's all my lipsticks gone?

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-Oh!

-No!

-You have to, boys.

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'And as she got older, she just got worse.'

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You want a second route if you go to Porthcawl.

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Normally people go down the A865321 to Nottage.

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You want to make sure that you go on the old road...

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-You're going to leave, are you?

-Yeah, got to go now. So... See you.

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My wife left me.

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'It was like we didn't exist any more, like we didn't matter.'

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LOUD MUSIC

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'It wasn't a problem.

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'IT REALLY WASN'T!

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'Until we saw the poster, cos we started thinking what a nightmare it would be if she won

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'and everyone kept telling her how great she was all the time.'

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You're marvellous! Marvellous! Fantastic!

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'We didn't have a choice cos she was going to stop at nothing.'

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Ahem.

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I'm doing this for all the children living in poverty the world over,

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for the animals, those poor, poor animals.

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-Because why can't we just all get along?

-Oh, yes!

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Let's show Mandy and Geoff!

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-Oh, yes! Here it is! Mam and Dad have got me the tickets!

-No way!

-Yeah, way!

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-It's going to be mega!

-You are lucky!

-I know.

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It's a book token.

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Let me see.

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That is harsh.

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'And I realised right then, looking at Liam, trying not to cry,

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'that the only way to stop her was by creating our own monster.

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'We needed to find someone so self obsessed, so up themselves,

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so arrogant, so devoid of any feeling of their own fellow man.'

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I said strawberry. Strawberry!

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Not vanilla!

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'Bingo!'

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-You're so pretty.

-Gorgeous.

-You should be a model.

-A supermodel.

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A super duper model.

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-You so should.

-You should.

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For the tiny...blind...little kittens.

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APPLAUSE

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Anyway, here we are! This is the moment you've all been waiting for.

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And the winner is...

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DRUM ROLL

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Danielle!

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APPLAUSE

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'We'd done it, we'd won. We'd...defeated the monster.'

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'Things started to change after that.

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'Amber started speaking to us, but this could have been down to the fact that she was...'

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Pregnant.

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You f...

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I... I don't know what to do.

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'And neither did we.'

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'What did we know? We were teenage boys, so we said...'

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-BOTH: Tell Mam.

-She'll go mental.

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Do you want...us to come with you?

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Would you?

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I'm pregnant.

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Amber...

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-Ooh, yes!

-I think she might be hungry, Mam.

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No, she just wants her presents. Look!

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Yes! Ooh! Shall we get the big one?

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Shall we get the big one? Do you want the horsey?

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Oh! Look! It's a horsey!

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'It was starting all over again. All the same things.'

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-She said she's hungry.

-What about your presents?

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-She can have them later.

-No, no, no. Just one.

-Mam!

-Just a little one!

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She can have her presents later.

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Well, really! How strange!

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-It's cos you don't listen.

-Me?

-She tried to tell you.

-Tell me what?

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I listen, don't I?

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Mike?

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Mike.

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Mike!

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Oh, that's nice, isn't it?

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Here I am, I'm slaving away, making a cake!

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Making sure everything's all right, that everyone's all right and you all think I'm some kind of monster!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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