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MUSIC: "This Town Ain't Big Enough for Both of Us" by Sparks

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# This town ain't big enough for the both of us

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# It isn't me who's gonna leave

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# Flying, domestic flying

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# And when the stewardess is near do not show any fear

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# Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat

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# You are a khaki-coloured bombardier

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# It's Hiroshima that you're nearing...#

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BELL RINGS

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Aargh!

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You all right, miss?

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Silly cow.

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Argh!.

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# Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat

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# You know that this town isn't big enough, not big enough for both of us

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# This town isn't big enough Not big enough for both of us

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# And I ain't gonna leave! #

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Seriously, though? Again?

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Flat on your face, Miss. Like a tit.

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It's just a game.

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What are you doing it for, Miss?

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So, you're going to lose.

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So what?

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Someone's got to lose.

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Life's just like that.

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BELL RINGS

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Are you taking the piss, Sir? It's a girl.

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You didn't say it was a lady, Sir.

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Right, listen up, you bunch of no-hope nothings.

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Today, this school is closing and this is your last chance

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to do something positive, yeah? To be part of a winning team.

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Line up.

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Today, you are strong. Today, you can prove yourselves.

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Today, you can show the world and, more importantly, you can

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show yourselves that you have made a contribution, that you

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are not going to be thrown on a scrapheap of life without a fight

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and, if you don't, you'll have me to contend with - and I am not a girl.

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I'd take her.

I ain't taking her.

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So, to recap. You are a wall. Yeah?

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And you will stay that way until I say otherwise.

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Oh, fuck!

Hold tight!

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She looks fierce.

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Together, you are indestructible.

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She's growling? Her eyes just changed colour.

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Did you see that?

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DRAMATIC MUSIC

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GROANING

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BELL RINGS

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Fuck!

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Fuck!

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You know, if I'm honest, Miss,

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I used to think you were a twat.

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Ditto.

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But you know, after all this, all of this Die Hard shit...

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I mean, what do you teach?

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Who the fuck cares?

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Nobody ever noticed you before, did they?

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They leave you to be the last one.

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The last 'it'. On purpose.

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Cos they know you ain't never going to be tagging Mr P.E.

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In 35 minutes, the school's closing

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and you're going to be a loser for, like, ever.

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But you, you're not taking that shit.

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You showed them, Miss. They know who you are now.

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You're a shit Lara Croft.

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Without the tits.

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I don't like losing.

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Miss?

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What?

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I've got a plan.

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FIRE ALARM

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Do you want to do the checks, so we can get back in?

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It's just some prick elbowing the alarm.

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You're the fire officer.

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Really?

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Surprise!

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No, no, no, no, no.

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# This town ain't big enough for the both of us

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# And it ain't me who's gonna leave. #

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Raagh!

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Aargh!

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# Flying, domestic flying

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# And when the stewardess is near do not show any fear

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# Heartbeat Increasing heartbeat... #

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What the fuck?

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# It's Hiroshima that you're nearing

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# This town ain't big enough for both of us... #

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All right, Miss?

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Argh!

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Aah!

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Argh!

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Argh!

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SIRENS

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She said, no hard feelings, Sir.

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Me? I think you're a bit of a wanker.

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She don't think you're that bad, though.

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She wants to know if you're OK?

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It's just a game.

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Just a stupid fucking game.

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Look at you...

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Tag.

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BELL RINGS

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# Census, the latest census

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# There'll be more girls who live in town, though not enough to go round

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# Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat

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# You know that this town isn't big enough, not big enough for both of us

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# This town isn't big enough Not big enough for both of us

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# And I ain't gonna leave! #

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