17/11/2015 River City

I'd put money on the fact that your MS is relapsing, so let me help you.

All I need from you is my drugs.

Not without an appointment.

From now on, it's just us.

Me, you and the kids building our own future.

And see everyone else? They can get to hell.

-I'm not coming.

-Are you kidding me?

We're a team, me and Mum. And these two.

You come near me again, I'm going to put you in the ground.

Why don't you just disappear and leave us in peace

so nobody else can get caught in the crossfire?

I'm going nowhere.

HE GROANS

DISTANT EXPLOSION

HE GROANS

DISTANT EXPLOSION

I think we've found the problem.

What?

Did you no' hear that exhaust blow?

-I'm no' much use to you, am I?

-Course you are, mate.

Just took me three goes to turn the kettle on.

Come on, you, get up!

Happy birthday, big brother!

-What time is it?

-It's birthday time!

You might as well surrender, she's not going to stop.

Right, pancakes for breakfast.

-Big fat American ones like big fat Americans eat.

-Cool.

Don't worry, Jenny's making them.

Aye, cos Jenny does everything, doesn't she?

Let's leave you to get dressed, come on.

Are not we doing the birthday conga down the stairs?

-No!

-See that, Rube? 15.

Practically a man now, no fun allowed. Come here, you!

Get off!

-BOTH:

-# Conga, conga, conga! #

You don't need to start cooking.

I know you're only back from your dad's cos I couldnae cope.

I chose to come back just like I'm choosing to make you breakfast.

Come on down, OK?

It doesn't fit in the hall.

The bedroom, behind the door.

Well, we can always move it ourselves when you get here.

I'm not a complete idiot, you know.

Look, wherever the bookcase goes,

I've got a really good feeling about this place.

I think we could be happy here.

Yeah, well, you do that. I'll see you later, OK?

Yeah, bye.

Hello.

How you doing?

Sorry, stupid question...from a guy holding two stupid cushions.

It's OK.

No, I mean, it's good that her flat gets to be a home again.

New people.

Do you want to come in for a minute? I think the kettle's arrived.

In there?

No. No, I'm gonna...

GLASS SHATTERING

Just give me a sec, I...

DOOR OPENS

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Is it no' a bit early in the day for that?

Duly noted.

Getting paralytic before dinner time is no' going to help.

Help what?

Ach, you cannae talk to some folk.

Can I come in?

I don't know, have you got your wife's permission?

Well, I've got to earn a living and you'll have to get a new driver.

One of the night guys was over the limit so he's losing his licence.

There's people on file.

Second drawer.

Oh, aye, there's a couple here.

Well, ring them.

I'm not your dogsbody.

Hey, I'm no' having anybody walking about this place

like it's leaving a bad taste in their mouth, least of all you.

-Me?

-Come on, Jimmy, we moved in the same circles.

Aye, well, there's bits in my past I'm no' proud of.

Oh, that's big of you.

Listen, there's a girl lying dead in the ground

that wouldn't have harmed a soul.

And that could've been Madonna or Cal. As you well know.

That's why you're getting fired into that whisky.

PHONE RINGS

I'm away to pick up a fare.

RINGING STOPS

So if you could come in at your earliest convenience

to discuss these results.

Actually, forget about convenience.

Mr Murdoch, you need to come in and see me. Today.

-KNOCKING AT DOOR

-Yes?

She said that you might have five minutes.

-More like two. How's the move going?

-Mostly fine.

-Mostly?

-Yeah, well, you know that

unique vintage mirror that sits on the dressing table?

Yes...?

Yeah, you're going to need a new one of those.

Terrific(!) Lucky we're not superstitious, eh?

Right?

That a wee sample you've brought there, hen?

I have nothing to say to you.

Stool, is it?

Oh, Mr Murdoch.

Good, come on in.

A delight, as always.

You're looking remarkably cheery.

Yeah, well, you've gotta take life's little pleasures when you can, eh?

You know doctors have this thing

where we don't really believe our patients?

-Is that right?

-Uh-huh.

You know, like, when we ask you how many units of alcohol

you chuck down your neck, we usually double the amount you admit to.

At least double.

Makes sense.

That's not going to work with you.

Your MS medication.

From what I can see, you've been taking it sporadically, if at all.

I take what I need to take when I need to take it.

These tests show that your condition's worsened.

Give me your hands.

-What, on our first date?

-Ah, humour.

How long has it been like that?

Comes and goes.

These results aren't good.

The consultant's recommended higher doses, a whole new regime.

They call it a regime cos it's like living under a dictatorship.

But with the explosion and the added stresses...

I'll get over it.

Actually, no, you won't.

Unless we do something about this,

you're looking at a period of rapid decline.

I can deal with a dodgy hand.

Can you deal with a wheelchair?

-Lovely, these, eh?

-Uh-huh.

-There's enough mix left for another one?

-Nah.

Make the most of it, she's no' gonna wait on you hand and foot tomorrow.

I don't want her waiting on me. I don't.

It's all right, really.

Gonna stop walking on eggshells? She's home now.

We're way more fun than her da' anyway.

Was my da' fun?

What?

Don't look so surprised. It's my birthday, I always ask about him.

I thought you might have grown out of that.

It's a family tradition, me asking, you lying.

Do we have to do this?

Who's my da'? What happened to him?

Where is he now? Nothing, naw?

I suppose that's better than the time

you said he was a professional footballer.

That got a few laughs in school, right enough.

Come on then, what is he this year? An astronaut?

-She's not gonna tell, she never does.

-I'm 15.

I'm too old for stories and I don't want any more lies.

I want to know the truth.

I'm sorry, Drew.

I don't know why I bother. I know what you're like.

Oh, can we just stop this now? Please.

You're right, I shouldnae waste my breath on her.

-Aren't you supposed to be going out this morning?

-Aye.

Football. Suddenly I don't fancy it.

We'll do the presents later, I guess.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Hello, stranger.

-Mind if I join you?

-Free country.

-I'm no' feeling very chatty, though.

-Shame.

We've had some interesting conversations in the past, I recall.

Interesting?

I still have nightmares about them.

That was a long time ago.

And have you changed?

Have you?

I've heard your game's even more disreputable than mine.

The Church has had some issues to confront, I'll grant you.

Aye, just the one or two.

We're trying to face up to that as an institution and as individuals.

Be sure your sins will find you out, eh?

I expect you know that better than anyone.

You know, when you came to see me, when you made your confession,

you were a man in turmoil.

Yeah, well, that was then.

Are you trying to tell me you're at peace now?

Have you not been listening?

I'm no' trying to tell you anything at all.

-EILEEN:

-Everything OK, Father?

I'll be right with you.

Come to church, Lenny. It'll do you good.

You won't get struck by lightning on the steps or anything.

Can I have that in writing, Father?

FATHER MULVANEY CHUCKLES

Sorry. You'll have to have faith.

I didn't mean to interrupt, I'm just surprised to see you talking to...

-him.

-HE SIGHS

I wouldn't be much of a priest

if I didn't seek out the company of sinners, Eileen.

Shall we get going?

Oh, no, not another of Eileen's ads.

I thought we'd dealt with all of them.

You know, we should form a united front.

How?

Eileen's making us jump through hoops, interviews and whatnot.

You're no' wrong there.

No, we should just tell her that we've had enough.

That she can pick one of us and that'll be that.

Oh, aye, aye, and the pair of you being practically related

will no' have a bearing on it.

Well, if you're going to be paranoid.

No, no, it's fine, it's fine. United front.

You happy to be back?

Next time I get married, I'm going on honeymoon for six weeks.

-Lucky guy.

-Mm-hm.

And they said it wouldnae last.

-Hi, wee man.

-Hi, Grandpa.

Yeah, we definitely should've stayed away longer.

Aye, well, long enough hopefully to come to your senses

over this adoption nonsense.

-Callum, why don't you go up and see your gran? On you go.

-OK.

Have you lost your mind?

We're a family already.

I'm raising him already.

I stood up on my wedding day

and told the world I was adopting him.

Well, lots of folk say things they don't mean on their wedding day,

otherwise there'd be no such thing as divorce.

HE CHUCKLES

It's almost sad, isn't it?

Lonely guy, not as young as he once was,

fixated on a wee boy

because of some old-fashioned idea of a bloodline,

a dynasty.

I'm just trying to do what's right by my grandson.

-Well, it's not your decision.

-No. It's yours.

If you think you can rely on this one to still be around in ten years,

-or 20.

-I'm not going anywhere.

I bet he said that to his first wife.

-A posh lassie, wasn't she?

-What's that got to do with it?

Aye, bring yourself a wee bit more down to earth, you know?

Wind her up or annoy your mammy.

-Nae offence, darlin'.

-Aw, none taken(!)

-I've had enough of this.

-So have I.

Look, I only came over to see if there was any chance

that I could take the wee man out for a bit of a wander.

-Dream on.

-No, Alex, it's fine.

Callum loves you and nothing's gonna change that.

Did he not even text you?

No, he never showed up and his phone's off.

Is there something going on?

Something and nothing.

It's his birthday and he's thrown a moody.

-He's hardly left his room all day.

-Right.

You're no more than a kid yourself,

but you must remember what it was like.

Hormones, girls, thinking the world's against you.

Aye, do you know what? I do remember.

Well then, there's nothing to worry about.

-Do you mind if I jump up and say hello?

-Now?

-Aye.

-I'd leave him in peace.

I could make him a cup of tea and see if I can coax him out?

Good luck with that.

I think if I tried, he'd chuck it in my face.

I'm sure I'll be able to duck out the road if that's on the cards.

OK, come and stick the kettle on.

-Yes, Lenny?

-Two banana pieces to go.

-Banana pieces?

-Aye.

And none of your paninis, OK? Make sure it's the white bread.

-All right.

-Oh, and a couple of cream soda floats as well, eh?

I'm gonna have to introduce an All Our Yesterdays menu.

-I'm just trying to get served here and go.

-All right, fine by me.

Listen, wee man, why don't you go to the toilet while we're here, eh?

Yeah. Come on, son.

Excuse me.

Can I have a large Americano with an extra shot to take away, please?

She's busy.

No, no. That's fine, Inspector.

Thanks.

I could do with a boost. It's been a long day already.

You know, I wish you'd reconsider, be a bit more helpful.

I've said all I'm going to say.

I know, but unless you narrow things down a bit for us,

I'm just going to have to make a list of folk who wish you were dead

and that's gonna take up a lot of time and effort.

Is this how you treat all your victims of crime?

I'm making a special exception in your case.

Borderline harassment.

If it's only borderline, I must be doing it wrong.

There you go.

Off on a picnic, are we?

Nice deductive powers there, Sherlock.

As it happens, I'm taking my grandson out.

You got a problem with that?

No, no, just don't go too far.

LENNY CHUCKLES

We'll send him a postcard, eh?

"Wish you were here."

I'll do the talking.

You most certainly will not.

Ladies, I think you know Father Mulvaney?

-Good afternoon.

-Father.

Well, I'm not Catholic myself

but I do enjoy a mass, all that ceremony.

Aye, we know how to put on a show, all right.

We're just waiting for one more candidate

so as soon as they get here...

Oh, the wait's over, here he is.

-Sorry, am I late?

-Not at all.

If you just give us a minute, we're setting up in the pool room.

Setting up?

Nothing too elaborate, don't worry.

It's just a space where we can conduct the competency assessments.

Father?

What are you doing here?

Michael asked me.

Who on earth is Michael?

Sorry, Father Mulvaney. We go way back

and he's well aware of my background in retail, of course.

Are you after this job?

I think it's more a question of making up the numbers.

Can I get you ladies a wee tipple?

Yes, you can.

Nothing for me.

Worried you might mess up your "competency assessment"?

Whatever that is.

There we are.

-Do you know what this is?

-No.

-No?

They've been here years and years. They're called doocots.

This is where men used to keep their pigeons.

They would look after them, they would feed them.

Sometimes they would take them very far away and let them go,

but they always made it back here,

because they knew this was their home.

Clever, eh?

Alex says they're rats with wings.

Does he now?

Come on, let's go have an adventure.

-Come on, Grandpa, come on.

-I'm coming.

HE GROANS

KNOCK AT DOOR

That's the wrong ball.

See when Pele was young and living in Brazil,

he was that skint he used to use orange peels to train with,

so you might be on to something.

I just didn't feel like playing today.

That's the best time to go - seeing folk, getting out of your own head.

I'm thinking of just jacking it in altogether.

That's no' happening.

What are you gonna do? Drag me along?

If needs be, aye.

Look, I've got a wee bit of time if you fancy a kickabout?

Nah.

It's all right, I won't make you do sprints cos it's your birthday.

What? Am I not allowed to talk about it?

Like you're a woman turning 40?

-I hate it.

-How?

It's all right, you don't need to talk about it if you don't want to.

Every year...

Every year, I ask my maw about my da'

but she'll no' tell me.

Anything.

Was he no' about when you were wee?

As far as I know, he's never even laid eyes on me.

What are you missing anyway?

Two dinners at Christmas and a couple of trips to the zoo?

It'd be better than nothing.

Maybe.

Why are you on my maw's side?

-I'm not.

-Aye, well, it sounds like it.

Maybe your ma thinks she's protecting you.

Is that what it is? Think he's a total scumbag?

-I didnae say that.

-Well, that's what it sounds like.

Listen, going to just leave me in peace?

You've done the whole inspirational coach thing, you can go now.

Look, I'll maybe look in on you tomorrow.

I'll be here.

It's no' like I've anywhere else to go, have I?

-Is that sandwich good?

-Mmm.

Although Stella forgot to put sugar on the banana.

Alex says sugar's bad for you.

Oh, does he? Alex is full of...

opinions, isn't he?

You know my grandad, Old Tam Murdoch?

He used to bring me here and he lived to 88,

pieces and banana and all.

He was some man. And he used to take me fishing.

We used to walk for miles and miles.

We didnae care if it was rich people's land or whatever.

The amount of times we'd get chased by some fat gamekeeper -

we'd laugh in his face and leave him standing.

-Will you take me fishing?

-Course I will, pal.

Listen, there is absolutely nothing better than eating a fish

that you've landed yourself.

Will you buy me a fishing rod?

Aye, look, come here, come here.

Listen, I think it's great that you and your mum's got that nice house.

It's good you've got all your toys and your computers

and you're no' going to bed hungry

but let me tell you, me and auld Tam,

we used to catch a fish just using a stick, a bit of line and a hook.

You know, one time, in here,

we brought in a wee injured pigeon, and we fixed its wing

and watched it fly away.

I wouldnae swap they days with my granda

for all the money in the world.

We're ready for you. Who's first?

That would be me, Your Eminence.

So, charity shop clientele are quite wide-ranging nowadays.

I know, hen.

Would you feel comfortable working with a cross section of customers?

Me? I rub along well wi' anybody.

Can you give us an example of how you would cater your approach

depending on who walked through the door?

Well, with the skint ones, I'd watch them like a hawk.

I mean, I know every light-fingered trick in the book, believe me.

(Yeah, bet you do.)

And with the airs-and-graces one,

I'd just jack the prices up good and proper.

Well, there are rules...

Look, if I manage to wring a couple of quid

out of some stuck-up lassie after a bargain, what's the harm?

The poor souls that we're trying to help will no' be complaining.

Well, Trading Standards might have something to say about it.

CHUCKLING: I could run rings round that lot.

Right, moving on.

So I think you would agree, madam, that this is a beautiful item,

which would bring warmth to any home.

Oh.

SHE GASPS

Tiny wee hairline crack on the lid there

so you'd need to be careful when you're washing up.

The next thing that could happen, it could come apart

when you're pouring it and then it's a scalded child...

Liz, I think that's a bit much.

Well, as the public face of the shop,

I would have to maintain integrity at all times.

Yes, but I think perhaps

you could be a little more cheerful at the same time?

# I'm a little teapot Short and stout

# Here's my handle Here's my spout

# When the tea is ready Hear me shout... #

Right, right, I think we've heard enough.

Oh. Well...

Now, had I thought about it,

I'd have prepared a PowerPoint presentation but needs must.

Did you draw these?

Just a couple of ideas for window displays

and point-of-sale displays.

Very impressive.

Why don't I let you digest these

and then I can take you through any questions that may arise?

What are you doing here?

Is this how you treat all your customers?

If the mood takes me.

I'm surprised you're being so hostile.

I could crank the hostility up a couple of notches.

Look, I was at the wedding, the sky didn't fall in.

I just came here to ask how the honeymoon went.

It was blissful. You can go now.

I'll finish my water if you don't mind.

And if I do mind?

You can eject me forcibly

but that would be more trouble than it's worth, surely?

Oh, I don't know...

Look, Alex, I'm back in your life, it doesn't need to be a bad thing.

-In you come, in you come.

-No, no, we're fine.

-Did you have fun, tiger?

-It was great.

-Aye.

He's a good boy and you mind what I telt you, eh?

Aw, have you been bonding?

I didn't have you down as a softie.

What happens between me and my grandson is nothing to do with you.

Oh, come on, we're practically family now.

Cal, darling,

you must've worn your old grandpa out, he looks in a terrible state.

Here, you remember you said Alex doesn't believe in God?

Boy, I bet he believes in witches though, eh?

Ah, you're raising him to respect his elders.

Just the ones that deserve it.

And I don't?

I thought you would have learned that lesson by now.

PEOPLE GASP

Oh.

Poor soul, he must've slipped.

I can do it myself.

Yes, Alex, leave him his pride at least.

I hope you enjoy being on your knees,

because you're going to have to get used to it.

DOOR CLOSES

Liz...

..thank you for coming in.

Oh, an absolute pleasure.

Molly...

thank you for coming in.

No trouble at all.

Alasdair...

you're hired.

Him?!

We felt he had the right credentials.

Ah, stick your credentials up your pulpit.

-Oh, Molly!

-I'm away to convert to Jewishness.

It's actually called Judaism.

I'm sure my kosher friends will see me right.

Liz, we're leaving.

I wish the shop every success, obviously.

Now!

Bye.

-They'll get over it.

-I'm sure.

-What is that delicious smell?

-Come, I'll show you.

# Happy birthday to you... #

You know, this isn't really a birthday song.

Course it is, what's the matter with you?

-It's about Martin Luther King.

-No, it's Stevie Wonder.

-That's a lovely top, isn't it?

-Aye, it's cool.

Ruby picked it herself.

You gonna put it on?

I'll wait till she gets back.

-You still haven't opened your card off me.

-Nope.

-SHE SIGHS

-You gonna stay mad at me all day?

-There's no point, is there?

-OK, then.

I'll just speak to my Aunt Ellie when she comes back.

-Well, that won't do you any good.

-She's bound to know something.

Well, she'll no' say.

Was he really that bad? Is that what it is?

That he was a total monster and you don't want me to turn out like him?

You're nothing like him.

How am I no'?

What's different about me?

No, I'm no' saying another word.

Would my dad do this?

-There's money in there.

-I don't want your money.

There you go, Father.

That should stay warm until you get home.

Excellent. How much do I owe you?

No, it's on the house, a wee thank you for all your help today.

One condition though. See if you like that?

Going to give us a big shout-out in mass on Sunday?

I'll be positively evangelical about it.

-I'll be in touch, Eileen.

-Bye.

-Word of mouth, see, best advertising there is.

-Mm-hm.

Something the matter?

No, no, I'm fine, I just didn't expect to see much of you today.

The movers are done but I can't start setting anything up without Annie.

Right.

I fully expect to spend ages moving things up a bit,

down a bit, across a bit. She wants it perfect.

That's the thing about fresh starts, isn't it?

What? I mean, you know...

That's an unusual choice of words.

Was it?

HE SIGHS

And now you can't look me in the eye, so...

No, it's nothing, it's just...

I know you've been through a bit of a rough patch.

And how do you know?

Is this what you want?

Is this where you want me?

On my knees?

Is that why I'm sick?

You trying to teach me a lesson or something?

Prove to me that you're the real boss?

Well, I get it.

Took me a wee while...

but then you do pride yourself

on moving in mysterious ways, don't you?

DOOR OPENS

I thought I heard a voice.

I didn't expect it to be yours.

You've got gravy on your shirt.

Aye, and indigestion from eating too quickly

-but I'm sure you didn't come here to discuss that.

-No.

No, I'm just having a quiet word with your boss.

Don't let me interrupt.

I'm done.

Are you feeling better?

Aye. Oh, aye, aye, great.

If you wanted to make a full confession, I'd endure it.

I don't need to confess.

With all due respect, Lenny, I really think you do.

He's already doling out more than two Our Fathers

and three Hail Marys.

What do you mean?

I'm sick.

HE LAUGHS

Something funny?

You, frankly.

Your ego's in very good health.

Do you honestly believe the Almighty

would decide to inflict some sort of illness upon you?

If it's all so random, death, war, disease, what's the point?

I didn't say it was random. We all have a place in the universe,

but God's plan is infinite, unknowable.

You've got some neck on you.

You stand up in that altar every Sunday

and the best you've got is "unknowable".

We don't live in the Middle Ages.

You can't buy a saint's bones from a pardoner

and just stroll into paradise.

Stay. Think. Pray.

Lenny, I'll pray with you.

You know what? If he made me, he never made me to kneel.

-How else are you going to find peace?

-I don't want peace!

I want my arms and my legs to work.

So what are you going to do if I stick around, eh?

Give me a ticket to Lourdes?

I don't believe your illness is a punishment but clearly you do

and who is to say which of us is right?

If God is angry and vengeful,

shouldn't you be begging for his mercy?

You know what?

To hell with it.

-And to hell with you!

-I won't let you talk like that.

What are you gonna do? Throw me out your church?

I'll throw you out of THE Church.

Since you're being so medieval,

maybe I should just have you excommunicated

-and have done with it.

-Please, you do that.

Cos I like to know where I stand.

Oh, listen, there was a guy says that he can start tomorrow

but you need to sign off on it.

-What guy?

-The new driver, for nights.

Aye, aye, do what you want, it's fine.

I can't sign him up.

Of course you can. I hereby authorise, all right?

Aye, whatever.

You needing a hand there?

I'm fine.

Good, because I've got a fare and you've got a visitor.

What? I'm no' your secretary.

You could've said something.

Come on, Jimmy knows you as well as anyone.

He knows you're always happy to welcome an old friend.

KNOCK AT DOOR

-KNOCKING CONTINUES

-What?

-Only me.

-I know, my ma doesnae knock.

Put that on and come down, Ruby'll be home soon.

-You've been up here ages.

-So?

What? "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to"?

-Nobody's crying.

-Well, I might be in a minute.

We're not allowed to cut the cake.

Cut it if you want, I don't care.

I get why you're so mad.

Oh? Do you?

But sitting up here isn't gonna change anything.

-It's all right for you.

-How do you work that out?

You can go see your dad whenever you like.

But I don't.

I put this family first, you should try it some time.

Aye, I'm being selfish. No' good like you.

That's not what I meant.

It's all right but you're proper kind-hearted

and there's no way you get that off of Ma,

so it must be from your da.

So what do I get from my da?

What part of me's him?

I don't think it works like that.

HE SIGHS

So what's it gonna be?

Angry? Rattle my cage?

Get under my skin?

Appeal to my better nature?

Would any of that work?

Although, you do look tired, Lenny.

I've been hearing a lot of that lately...

but I could say the same about you, Craig.

Oh, I am. I am sick and tired.

I've spent today listening to people who are scared and disgusted

and, above all else, angry, very angry.

They just don't understand the game like you and me.

It's no' a game.

Oh, for Christ's sake, man, of course it is.

Your rules say you can't tell me

who was responsible for Zinnie's death,

my rules say I can't make you,

so we just circle one another until the next innocent person dies.

LENNY SIGHS

What?

Are you going to say something?

You worried I'm wearing a wire?

Wouldn't be the first time

you've tried to capture my dulcet tones on tape, eh?

There's nothing there.

I know, please, please, keep your clothes on, eh?

You can speak freely.

HE SIGHS

I don't know.

No' for certain.

But you've got your suspicions?

Maybe.

Do you think you're going to be able to stop shaking long enough

to pull a trigger?

You're getting worse, anyone can see it.

But you'd rather go out in a blaze of glory, would you?

Butch and Sundance, Bonnie and Clyde, all that crap.

There's worse ways to go.

Oh, hey, I won't lose any sleep at the thought of you dead in a gutter.

I'm just worried about who'll be lying next to you.

What do you think I should do?

Some wounded animals, you know, they lash out one last time

but some, they know when it's best

just to slink off somewhere and die quietly.

You know, I've waited a long time to see you a beaten man

but now the day's here,

I almost feel sorry for you.

I'm no' beaten yet.

HE SCOFFS

Doc?

Yes, afternoon.

Have you got a second?

Not really, but I can schedule you in for tomorrow

but you'd just have to phone...

Never mind schedules.

-I'm in.

-In?

The new treatment, I'm on board, whatever it takes.

Miracles do happen.

No, they don't. That's why I'm counting on you.

How long before it starts working?

There's no guarantee that it will.

I'm not gonna feel any better?

-They should stop it from getting any worse.

-Should?

What are you saying? This is the best it's gonna get for me?

Maybe.

I'll go private.

Throwing money at this is not the answer.

Well, what is?

I can refer you to a specialist,

and then they'll start you on your new course of medication.

Then after that, it is up to you.

Got to get some rest, avoid stress.

Aye, well, that's easier said than done.

You're understaffed.

And you can't quite pull off that Blofeld move.

Next time, I'll bring a cat to stroke.

There won't be a next time.

Get out the chair.

Come on, Lenny, I think we both know there will always be a next time.

Please.

I'm fine as I am.

You look terrible.

Here was me gonna ask you out on a date as well.

I'm a wee bit under the weather, that's all.

People like us can't afford to be "under the weather".

Please, don't dump me in with people like you.

What, would you rather be a civilian? Like that poor dead girl?

Such a shame, that.

No, a disgrace is what it was.

I hope you're not going to take the moral high ground.

That can be a very vulnerable position.

Are you threatening me?

Let's just say, I hope that long chat you had

with our friendly neighbourhood policeman wasn't too candid.

Having me watched, are we?

People like to tell me things.

I must have one of those faces.

Yeah, can you guess what I'd like to tell you right now?

Look, there's no need to be unpleasant.

You know, the more I see of you,

the more I realise we don't have to be enemies at all.

It's quite sweet, in a way.

You're harmless.

LOUD THUD

I can finish off here.

Nearly done.

-You're very thorough, aren't you?

-Aye.

Are you always like that or just when you're avoiding going home?

Were you always this insightful?

Yes. You not remember?

HE CHUCKLES

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rake it all up, you know.

Doesn't take much.

It's never that far from the surface, to be honest.

Time will take care of that.

Yeah, I hope so.

HE CHUCKLES

What?

It's funny having you back in my life.

We're different people now, though.

Oh, I don't know.

I do. I'm not a silly wee girl any more.

Eileen, believe me, you were never that.

And I'm looking forward to getting to know Annie too.

Yeah, I think you'll like her.

DOOR OPENS

Hi.

I was just coming.

I thought we could have dinner here tonight.

I can't face washing up.

I like her already.

Scandalous is the word. Scandalous.

Yes. Yes.

The nerve of that pair.

DOORBELL RINGS

I'll get that, shall I?

Some folk would stab you in the back as soon as look at you.

I mean, Eileen's no better than she should be, no offence,

but him, a priest?

A man of the cloth?

And putting us through all that rigmarole.

I bet he planned to give it to that big dandy chancer from the start.

Molly, it's...

The big dandy chancer.

What are you wanting?

Well, any charity shop is only as good as its volunteers...

MOLLY SCOFFS

That's the year pure flyin' in, that's Christmas round the corner.

You need to tell me what wee Cal wants.

Oh, he's written his own list, don't worry about that.

It'll soon be here, all the bedlam.

The club will be busy an' all.

Alex, are you sure we've got enough staff to fill in for me?

You're pregnant, just keep taking it easy, I'll keep Chrome ticking over.

I told you you were barred.

You can try and throw me out

or you can let me have a conversation for ten minutes.

Would you mind?

It's him I've come to see.

You and Alex? You should've said.

I would've sold tickets.

You've got ten minutes.

Won't take that long.

Grab a couple of malts, I'll be over here.

He who sups with the devil should have a long spoon,

as my old granny used to say.

What is he up to?

I don't know but I don't like it.

I'll listen to what he's got to say

and then I'll laugh in his face.

Not a bad drop.

I kept better when I ran this place.

You're not the force you once were, Lenny.

Maybe not.

But I still don't think you've got it in you

to cut your mammy's apron strings and step into my place.

Why would I need to?

I've got everything I want already.

Kelly-Marie, the new baby, Cal.

Yeah, I can see why you'd go for that.

Proper family.

I mean, the Mullens and the O'Haras,

they drive you round the bend, no doubt about it,

but they're like the Waltons compared to your mum.

What is it they call them these days? Dysfunctional?

That's them, not me.

If I could believe that...

I might ease up a bit about you being in my grandson's life.

That's not your decision.

Get it through your thick skull that I am with his mother.

We're going to give him a brother or a sister.

Do you really think buying him a banana piece can measure up to that?

Sit down.

I'm no' done with you yet.

And if I don't?

Sit...back down.

I need you to adopt the boy.

Treat him like your own.

Now I get it.

You're dying, aren't you?

We're all dying, son.

Please don't call me that.

OK.

Here's the thing, Alex.

Cal was born into a dangerous world, it was none of his making.

No, I know.

Now I've set up his trust fund again, everything's settled there,

somebody will be contacting Kelly-Marie.

But in the past, he's needed protecting...

Yes.

..against some of your family.

They're nothing to me now, none of them.

Not compared to him, Kel, the baby.

Swear it.

I swear to you.

Don't let me down.

Wait.

I'm no' done yet.

Do you want a blood oath or what?

I need you to promise me...

one more thing.

You will never let Cal turn out like us.

Like me.

No.

I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

DOOR OPENS

Right, shh, shh. Shh.

There he is. One, two, three...

THEY SING: # Happy... #

I can live without the singing but I'll have a bit of cake.

Come on then, blow the candles out.

Yeah, you've got to make a wish.

CHEERING

PHONE RINGS

Aw, it's you. I was just gonna call you.

Do you know that the office safe is...?

Oh, OK.

Aye, I can do that.

Where are you off to?

Right, OK.

-You going to tell me what's up?

-Up?

You've had a pained expression on your face since I got here

and you can't blame the pies.

Yeah, well, it's been an up-and-down sort of day.

I mean, one minute it was all new home, fresh start,

and then the next minute,

I find out you've been telling people about the affair.

-Ah.

-Yeah.

So much for a clean slate.

Couple of things.

I didn't tell "people",

I told Eileen, who just happens to be your ex,

by the way, thanks for sharing.

And it wasn't THE affair, it was YOUR affair.

-Can we not move on?

-We have.

I don't want to smack you round the head every time I see you.

That's progress, I suppose.

It really is.

OK.

I'm sorry I told Eileen.

And I'm sorry for sulking and ruining dinner.

Accepted.

SHE SIGHS

What?

There's just always going to be this kind of thing, isn't there?

Doesn't have to be.

It's up to us to make sure it doesn't happen so much.

New house and all that.

It's a new house but we're still the same people.

There's a charity? For your girlfriend?

Can you no' say her name?

Zinnie.

For Zinnie.

-I don't want your money.

-Take it.

Throw it in the fire, if you want.

Try and do what she would want, eh?

What was going on?

Your husband'll tell you.

But he doesn't know about this.

There's only one number in that phone.

If you need anything, and I mean anything at all,

you call that number.

And what, a bat signal will appear over Glasgow?

Something like that. Where's Cal?

He's away to a party with a wee friend.

He said he's hoping there's gonna be banana sandwiches.

He's a good boy, Kelly-Marie.

Right, that's your time up.

You might be right.

How? Are you going somewhere?

Are you gonna miss me?

Are you joking? I wouldnae care if I ever seen you again.

I wouldnae be too sure about that.

Yous might think I'm a devil.

Sometimes you're better with the devil you know.

# Whoever is filthy Let him be filthy still

# Listen to the words long written down... #

Jimmy...

# When the man comes around... #

..you're going to run the cab firm, OK?

Just keep it ticking over.

My accountant will be in touch about banking the money

and she'll sort out a wage for you.

-A wage?

-If you can't stomach working for me, tell her

and she'll find somebody else.

If you leaving town puts an end to the madness,

then I can stomach it.

Right, let's go.

# Some are born and some are dyin'... #

We've got to stop meeting like this.

My sentiments exactly.

# And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree

# The virgins are all trimming their wicks

# The whirlwind is in the thorn tree

# It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks

# In measured hundredweight and penny pound

# When the man comes around. #

There's something you should see. It was up on Buster's page.

-This has to be a wind-up.

-I think it's real.

-That's not what it looks like.

-What's goin' on?

I did something stupid.

You have to tell him.

This is something that you should not be dealing with on your own.

He pure loved that lassie and this is what she's done to him!

Well, maybe if he had a bit more spark about him,

he'd have got in there first.

What if Zinnie wasn't the perfect angel that you thought she was?

-What are you on about?

-I don't know how to tell you.

We need to talk.