04/10/2016 River City

Maybe I should be looking for somewhere else to live.

A nursing home?!

Where's all ma stock? 'We're struggling a bit.'

-Go to Lenny, he owes us.

-There's about two grand there.

That'll keep you going for a while.

I don't want us in debt to that guy.

'I gave him his money back. I'd rather starve.'

Contact details for my friend I was telling you about. The surgeon?

Keys to your new home.

'It's a lovely flat. I can't thank you enough, Dr Farringdon.'

What about this landlord guy?

It's no' right, him letting you stay there for free.

No-one does anything for nothing.

-Hey...

-Oh, my God! Mr Farringdon.

I'm sorry. I-I did send you a text to say I was coming over.

Oh, my phone died.

Are you OK?

Yeah, I just... wasn't expecting anyone to be here.

I know, I'm sorry about that.

I've been at a boring medical conference all day, it ran over...

I couldn't get a hotel, so...

I thought maybe I could just crash the night here,

go to Glasgow tomorrow.

Of course, it's your apartment.

Aye, I know, but I... I didn't want to take advantage.

You sure you're all right with this?

It's fine, honestly.

Well, then, that's great. Um, I was going to get some Thai food in...

-You interested? My treat?

-No, thank you.

You do know what that freeze-dried, processed stuff

does to your body, yeah?

-Doesn't do Tim Peake any harm!

-Who made those noodles - Nasa?

-No.

-Then I'm buying you some Thai food.

Least I can do after giving you such a fright.

Honestly, I'm good.

I'm just going to grab this and then head to my room, hit the books.

Ah... Yeah, I couldn't help but notice... Riveting stuff(!)

Well, it is when you don't know it.

Ach, you'll know it soon enough. Come on.

One night off's no' gonna do you any harm.

And besides, I hate eating alone like some sort of sad sack.

I guess my astronaut food can wait for another day.

THAT is a good decision.

-I'll just go and get changed out of this.

-Perfect.

I'll bring up the menu on my phone

and you can see what takes your fancy.

TV: 'This one has a family of hungry mouths to feed

'in a nearby nest box.'

'The thermal camera reveals something else...'

SHE SIGHS DEEPLY

'Many mammals are active at night.'

'So, despite the dark...'

SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE

Well, that was good.

Actually, there's a few decent Thai places in Leeds,

but this one's always been my personal favourite.

Closest I've tasted to the real thing.

Well, outside of London, that is. No-no, stay there.

-You've been to Thailand?

-Aye, yeah.

Well, I wanted to travel the world before I went to uni,

but I ran out of money, so I chose the place I wanted to see most.

Wow. I'd never been further than Loch Lomond before I came here.

Ach, there'll be plenty of time for travel once you've got your degree.

After I've finished, I want to go straight into a good job,

if I can, and start establishing myself.

-You always been this sensible?

-I know, I'm really boring...

No. No, you're not. You are driven...

You're...ambitious.

That's a good thing.

That's what got you here in the first place

and that's what's going to see you through the next five years.

God, five years! Sounds like such a long time.

And that's only the beginning, isn't it?

Well, it's not going to be easy, but it's worth it. You'll see.

-Top up?

-Please.

It's just...been tougher than I thought it would be.

-Being away from home...

-What, fending for yourself?

No, I've always done that. It's more about...I don't know, fitting in.

I'm not really like the other girls on my course.

They all seem to be more about drinking and dating than learning.

I guess it's the whole "little fish, big pond" thing.

I remember that feeling too. It goes away, though, I promise you.

Not that I was ever a big fish...

No? I'm surprised by that.

Smart, pretty girl like yourself.

-I'd have thought you ruled the school.

-No.

I was always too school for cool, if you know what I mean.

-More into books than boys?

-Exactly.

Not that I'm not interested in boys. I mean, I am... I'm not...

I mean, I like boys. Well, maybe not boys. Men...

-I'm just going to stop talking!

-HE LAUGHS

It's OK, I get it, I do.

You have a dream, you've got to go for it.

Everything else can wait, right?

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

BOTH LAUGH

I know it's crazy, right, but listen, stay with me, there's more.

Picture the scene.

There's me, as prepped as prepped can be,

ready for my first surgical assist...

Please tell me you didn't faint.

I wish I had fainted! It's so much worse.

The consultant surgeon, right, he lets me open up the patient...

As soon as I see the infected colon...

I threw up all over the table!

-HE LAUGHS

-Oh, my God, that is awful!

I know, I know... Oh, to this day, I STILL get flack for it.

Worst moment of my entire life,

though I did learn one thing from it...

What?

Don't eat a bowl of chilli before you cut someone open.

'I just wanted to make something of myself and do something important.'

Is that why you chose medicine, to make a difference?

I know, I'm such a cliche.

No, you're not. It's sweet.

Reminds me of who I used to be, actually.

So why did you want to be a doctor?

For the money!

Nah, not really. Although, it does help.

No, my dad died when I was just ten years old...

You can probably fill in the rest of the blanks yourself.

Head of the house from an early age,

huge chip on my shoulder, because I couldn't stop my dad from dying.

-You were a kid.

-Now who's the cliche?

You know what? I don't care.

It's my story and I'm proud of it.

As you should be proud of yours.

You know what, Jenny?

You are a remarkable...

..very attractive young woman.

Reproduction.

-What?

-Of cells, um...

Reproduction pathways of-of cells, um, associated with tumours.

Um, we had a taster session on it this morning and...

I just remembered that I have to

give a short talk to my tutorial group about it on Friday,

so I should go and prepare for that.

Um, thank you for the dinner... I'll see you in the morning.

Are you sure you're OK?

Yeah! Good, fine.

Um... I should probably just go and study. Um... Goodnight!

-HE SIGHS

-Night, Jenny.

DOORS SLIDE SHUT

Oh, my God.

SHE SIGHS

SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE

-Hey.

-Hi.

-You OK?

-I'm sorry about before.

No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I... I totally misread the room.

-You didn't.

-I didn't mean to make you feel un...

-What did you say?

-You didn't misread the room...

..I just panicked.

I wasn't expecting it.

-I mean, you're you and I'm...

-Adorable.

I've never...

I mean, I don't...

That sort of stuff just doesn't happen to me.

I find that very hard to believe.

You are both beautiful and intelligent.

Don't let anyone ever make you doubt that.

This OK?

SHE PANTS

CLOCK TICKS

SHE PANTS

-Aah! Hey, you! Hey, you!

-SHE GASPS

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

-SHE PANTS

-Oh...

-SOBBING:

-Oh... Oh, no!

Oh, no, no, no!

Oh...

SHE SOBS

Scarlett...

You did lock the door, Ma!

That's how the robber had to break the lock to get in!

Stop tormenting yerself!

It's fixed now and you're safe, that's the main thing.

That locksmith wouldnae be cheap at this time of night.

That's no' important.

I never heard a thing!

You know how I always hang my handbag

at the bottom of the bed...?

He-He was in my room when I was asleep!

Don't, Ma. It doesnae bear thinking about.

You shouldnae be there on your own anyway.

-We'll need to figure out something.

-Like what?

I don't know, but you'll need to stay here till we sort out a plan.

Och, I'm daeing nae such thing.

I'll stay here the night and I'm going back hame the morrow.

-Ma!

-I'm no' lettin' some thievin' wee lowlife

scare me out ma own house!

Well, at least wait till the boys finish work

or I come hame from the jail.

I don't want you over there on your own!

I'm no' hanging about here all day like a spare part.

I'll need to go hame and tidy up.

That wee thievin' nyaff left the place in a right guddle.

Why don't we just phone Liz? I mean, maybe she'll come over.

-MOLLY SCOFFS

-What could she dae about it?

She's your pal! She'll want to know what's happened!

She's got her own life to lead.

I've got a new lock on my door. I'll be fine.

How about I make you a nice wee cup of tea?

No' at this hour, hen, I'd-I'd be up all night.

Mind you... a wee brandy wouldnae go amiss.

Good idea.

SHE EXHALES

DOORS SLIDE OPEN

Oh! Hey, good, you're up.

Just been for a wee run,

grabbed you some breakfast from the local bakery.

-Fresh croissants. OK?

-Yeah.

I'm going to grab a quick shower. Coffee's on the table.

Won't be long!

WATER RUNS

SHE SIGHS

SHE YELPS

-CLATTERING IN HALLWAY

-Oh...

Oh, post...

I've arranged to catch up with an old friend this morning,

so I can give you a lift to uni if you can be ready in five.

No classes. Study day.

Ah! What joys does today hold, then?

More Introduction To Medical Science?

That and core body systems.

I don't know which is worse!

What was the other one - cell reproduction pathways?

-Don't.

-Listen, there's only so much you can learn from the books.

Why don't I see if I can get you clearance to actually observe some surgeries?

Are you serious? That would be amazing!

Well, I'll have a word with my colleagues at the local hospitals,

see what they can do.

Oh, so, not your surgeries?

I think the last time I checked

you live about 200 miles away from my OR.

But sure, next time you're in Glasgow, I'll...

see if I can squeeze you in.

Well, what time are you heading up at?

As soon as I'm done with my colleague.

Speaking of which, I need to make tracks.

Well, I thought maybe we could get some lunch

before you head back to Glasgow?

No can do, I'm afraid.

The boss'll start asking questions if I'm late back.

Hey, I'll catch up with you the next time I'm down.

Probably in a month or so. And in the meantime...

..no more astronaut food, right?

What?

Nothing. Well...

-Doesn't matter.

-No, go on, what?

Well, last night...

Last night was great, Jenny. You enjoyed yourself, didn't you?

Yeah, me too.

And there's no reason we can't enjoy ourselves like that

when I'm next in town.

As long as you're up for it.

You didn't...? Did you think this is a thing?

-No, 'course not.

-Cos that's not what it is.

No, I know.

We can hook up whenever I'm in town,

I'll buy you Thai food, we can have a little fun,

but that's all that's on the table.

I've got to go.

I'll call you.

You know Molly. Says she's fine, but I know fine she's no'.

No wonder. She must have got a fright.

It's bad enough getting robbed, but catching him doing it?

What a scumbag.

Send her my love when you get back.

I will. Madonna's sent you a wee present.

They'll give it to you later.

And she's wrote you a wee story to cheer you up.

She's OK?

Aye, she's fine. She misses her daddy, but she's coping.

She's a wee star.

Aye. She's strong, like her gran. And her mammy.

Jeannette over there. She's got four weans.

She was telling me she's got some stuff she needs off-loading,

and she can get me a good price...

I'll bet she did!

Her man's inside for selling stolen goods.

Aye, I know that! She told me. This stuff's not stolen.

It's old stock from the factory she works at.

-HE SCOFFS

-And you believe that?

Aye. She was giving it big licks about how daft her man was,

getting mixed up with hot gear.

She's no' about to make the same mistake, and neither am I.

Keep well away from that, all right?

Think of Madonna if the two of us are inside.

It's Madonna I'm thinking about, Jimmy.

I'm trying to put food on her plate.

I thought the boys were giving you dig money?

Aye, they are, and it just about covers the extra hike in the

leccy bill, from all the extra power they're using up.

The pair of them are forever leaving lights on.

Look, I'm not kidding, Scarlett.

I've got enough on my plate without worrying about you

-getting banged up.

-I know. It's just...

Times are tough the now, Jimmy.

SHE SIGHS I'll work something out.

I'm sorry you're having to do this on your own.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be here to cheer you up.

So, what's the goss? What like's her man?

Only me.

I finished early, so I thought I'd pop in before heading to Glasgow.

Jenny?

HE SIGHS

Liz!

You should have waited in the Oyster, kept warm.

Malcolm planted most of these.

It's just wonderful to see them returning year after year.

A little bit of him, still with us.

Beautiful. He was clearly a man of taste.

Och, I wish you'd met him.

Then you'd know what all the fuss is about.

Erm, do you mind if we sit here a while?

Stop and smell the roses, so to speak?

-Exactly.

-Of course.

-Thanks.

PHONE RINGS

Of course I'm happy to see you, I just wasnae expecting it.

-You were only home last week.

-Yeah, well, I had some days off,

and I didn't want to sit about on my own.

What about your jobs?

They're pretty flexible, so...

Have you been crying?

No.

What's up with your face, then? Why are your eyes are all red?

Hay fever.

-You don't have hay fever.

-I do, actually.

Seasonal allergic rhinitis can develop at any age,

and it may be that I've always been atopic, but symptoms have been

so negligible that it went undiagnosed.

Right, well, I'll get you some of that skooshy stuff

you can put up your nose from the chemist later.

I'm going to stick my bag upstairs.

You buying any of that?

No' for a second.

The Jenny I know would rather spend her down time studying,

no' coming home to this madhouse.

-You need to talk to her.

-Why me?

Cos if something's happened, she's no' going to tell her mother,

is she? She'll talk to you.

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Who is it?

-ANOTHER KNOCK

-WHO IS IT?

-It's me!

-Maw.

-Oh, my boy! What're you doing here?

Scarlett phoned and told me what had happened.

I'm here to make sure you're all right.

I told her to stop fussing. I'm fine! I don't need baby-sitting.

Well, tough! I'm here.

Get the kettle on.

Right you are. Oh, come away in, son!

Liz. Lovely to see you.

Didn't take you long to come back home! Missing us, are you?

-Of course I am.

-So, you'll be after your usual, then?

Cappuccino and a toasted tea cake.

-Yes, please.

-I'll have the same.

-A raspberry man as well, are you?

-I'm sorry?

Liz prefers raspberry jam on her morning tea cake.

Oh, sounds wonderful. Thank you.

-Right, here all right?

-Yeah.

They all seem to know you round here.

Yes.

Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

MUSIC IN BACKGROUND

Jen. Just leave that, I'll get it for you.

It's all right. I can manage.

So, are you doing OK?

Yeah.

Really?

No.

Has something happened?

There's this guy...

Right.

I thought he liked me.

He bought me Thai food last night, and we talked for ages.

Is that all you did?

So you...had...

..Thai food?

Is that the first time you've tried Thai food?

I mean, you're old enough for Thai food.

-If that's what you wanted to do...

-I did.

And you were sensible about it?

Of course.

Good.

So you had this meal together...

..and, what? He's being weird?

I feel like an idiot. Like he used me.

Oh, Jen.

Some guys will make you feel like you're the only person

on the planet and, the minute they get what they want, pfft!

You don't see them for dust. It's nothing to do with you.

Boys are rubbish.

Anyway, your first time's supposed to be awful.

Won't always be like that.

It wasn't awful. He was kind, and gentle. It was nice.

I thought he was nice.

Well, have you heard from him today?

He keeps texting and calling, but I've been ignoring him.

Playing hard to get, eh? Good girl.

Look, if he's been trying to get in touch,

maybe he likes you more than you think?

Please don't tell Mum. About the...

..Thai food.

I won't, don't worry. I'll just tell her that you're homesick,

which I think you probably are. Mm?

Right, come on, then, we'll go to the Oyster for an ice cream.

My treat. That'll put a wee smile on your coupon, eh?

No, leave that, come on.

MAN ON TV: 'The female comes straight over to collect the catch.'

Oh, it was good of you to come up, son.

I've been rattling around on my own since Liz scarpered.

Have Scarlett and the boys not been coming round?

Oh, when they can,

but Scarlett's on her own now with Madonna,

and running that shop, working all hours,

and the boys have got lives of their own.

Milk, no sugar.

Aye, but I like a wee bit more tea with my water, son..

The tea bag's on the worktop.

-MUSIC STARTS

-I was watching that!

-Why?

-Well, I like animal programmes.

Since when?

Liz and I watched the whole series.

It's very relaxing, until they start eating each other.

KEY RATTLES IN LOCK

-Who are you?

-Who are you?

-I'm Bob.

-I'm Alasdair.

It's you.

The keys don't work.

What are you doing with a set of my keys?

I was about to ask the same thing.

You got yourself a fancy man?

-Him? He's Liz's latest best pal.

-Oh!

My locks have been changed. What do you want?

Liz wanted to collect some more of her things,

and you know how she struggles with the stairs, so she gave me her keys.

She's ordering folk about from Luss now, is she?

Actually, she's in the Oyster, and I offered.

Why have you changed the locks?

It's good to see you, Annie. You're looking really well.

Thank you. You too.

So, I just wanted to check in on Jenny McLean, really.

What about her?

Just making sure she's settling in to the apartment OK.

She could tell you better than me.

Aye, I know, but I didn't want to come across as

the overbearing landlord, checking up on her.

She barely knows me, so I thought perhaps you'd spoken to her.

And you couldn't have asked me this on the phone?

I was in the area.

You were in Shieldinch?

OK, I was close by, and I couldn't resist the opportunity

of seeing your beautiful face.

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Oh, please.

I don't know how Martha puts up with you.

It's my natural charisma, of course.

I can think of another word for it.

Let's get back to Jenny.

Er, no, no, I haven't heard from her.

She's not called, or Instagrammed,

or whatever it is the kids are doing these days?

Yeah, well, we exchange the odd Snapchat(!)

No, not a peep.

I can give her a call tonight, if you like.

You know, touch base, see that she's happy with the apartment.

No, no. Don't worry about it.

Never give a tenant an excuse to complain, eh?

If she's not reaching out,

then I guess there's nothing to worry about.

No, she's a good girl. I'm sure she'll be fine.

Well, I won't take up any more of your time, Dr Jandhu.

Lovely to see you.

You too, Nick. Give my love to Martha, OK?

Will do.

Well, we all miss you. Shieldinch isn't the same without you.

How is Luss?

Oh, very pretty, very nice.

Just nice?

PHONE RINGS

Well, it's all still a bit strange, but then...

-Hello?

-..I've been here for so many years.

I know.

It'll just take you a wee while to settle in, eh?

All that fresh air and countryside.

Yes.

And how are Eileen and Stuart?

Oh, now, they really love it. They settled in right away.

They're always dashing off somewhere with Brian and his little girls.

They leave you on your own?

Oh, no, they always invite me, but...

Och, you know, young children can be a bit exhausting.

You're not regretting the move?

No, no! Of course not. No. It's ideal, really.

Everything on the ground floor... Far more manageable.

But you're OK? You happy?

Oh, very much so.

Now, what's been happening with you?

Oh, sorry. Molly. How are you? Oh, and Bob, hello.

Ten quid? Do I no' get a family discount?

Oh, aye, you know me, I'm pure rolling in it(!)

Tenner. Pay up.

-But I don't even need them.

-Aye, you do.

And if folk ask you where you got them, send them my way.

Unless they look like polis.

See you later, Ma.

What's this? Diversifying?

What's it to you?

I was just thinking it's not your usual stock.

What would you know? You've only been here two minutes.

-No dents in them.

-What?

When they hit the deck, after falling off the back of the lorry.

Er, they're from the factory. End of line sale.

Aye, and I'm Donny Osmond(!)

More like a reject from Starsky and Hutch.

Going well, are they?

Oh, aye. Sold three pair already this morning.

At this rate, I'll have the lot shifted by tomorrow. You interested?

Depends what's on offer.

Dream on, pal.

You don't have to apologise any more.

I know you didn't mean it. I'm sorry too.

As in the club? Yeah, I know where it is.

Erm, OK.

No, don't pick me up. I'll meet you there.

Eight o'clock. I'll see you then.

Bye.

It must have been terrifying. A stranger in your home.

You've been so brave going back there.

We've had the locks changed, and I'm going to get a bolt as well.

Well, you're made of stronger stuff than me.

I couldn't bear being in there on my own.

That wee nyaff's no' going to scare me out my own house!

And Bob's here. My boy's back.

I'll be fine.

So, how's Luss?

Oh, it's very picturesque.

Aye, especially tumbleweed bouncing down the high street

in the evening light.

Well, there's lots to do.

Just wait till the tourists leave.

It'll be like watching paint dry, if you're lucky.

No, there's a very healthy and lively community,

and a great many people retire there...

Another of God's waiting rooms.

Well, I like it.

I've never been happier.

Well, I'm glad it's worked out for you.

My flat's barely been empty since you left,

the family are always over.

And I don't have to watch any more animal programmes.

Well, I'm so glad that you're enjoying your retirement, Liz.

I'd better get to work.

Yes, and I should be heading back,

for Eileen and the wee ones will be wondering where I've got to!

Really?

I've got nothing doing at the moment, mate, I'm sorry.

We're all fully staffed.

OK. So how about getting Elvis back in the building?

We've, erm... We've changed direction.

What?

Well, we're trying to appeal to a younger demographic,

so we need something...a bit cooler.

Cooler than Elvis?

The guy's been dead 40 year. Ask Drew what's cool.

Oh, and tell him we've got a silent disco on tonight.

A what?

You see? That's what the kids are into.

A silent disco?

Aye, they bring their own music,

and they listen through headphones, and they dance...

..to their own music.

OK, so, they're all dancing to different music

that no-one else can hear?

Aye.

You're having me on.

No. That's what they do.

Is it just me? Has the world lost the plot?

They all come here and pay you to do something they can do

in their own rooms for free?

And they listen on headphones?

Oh, what are you doing? Taking your business elsewhere?

You don't stock any of this stuff.

Ooh, spinach, sweet potato, squeaky cheese.

All your nutritional requirements in one meal, and no carbs.

Maw's going to love it.

No, she's no'. It's Wednesday.

It's macaroni cheese on a Wednesday.

So she can try something new.

She can have macaroni cheese tomorrow when I'm away.

You're leaving tomorrow?

Aye, I need to get back to my work.

Already? You cannae leave Molly on her own after she's been

going through something like this!

Well, I cannae just drop everything! I've got my job and my girlfriend...

Aye, and I'm on my own with a wean and a business to run!

Can you not just hang about for a couple of days

till we sort something out?

Look, my whole life's down there. I cannae just walk away!

But you can walk away from your own mammy, and your own family?

We've had a hellish couple of months, Bob!

And after everything she's done for you?

You wouldn't even have a life if it wasnae for her!

It's payback time.

Aw, come on, you can at least stay until she feels safe.

Sweet potato!

Thank you.

I... I am so sorry.

I didn't mean to make you feel used.

I know. I over-reacted.

Guess I'm not as mature as I thought I was.

No, no, this is on me.

I should have been clear from the very start. I'm sorry.

-Friends?

-Friends.

Good.

That's good, because I really like you, Jenny, I really do,

and I want to help you. But I can only do that if we ARE friends.

I've got some great connections in Leeds,

and tomorrow I'm going to make some calls,

and we'll get you in observing those surgeries, just like we said.

And I promise you, from now on, I'll get a hotel.

None of those late night arrivals at the apartment, OK?

You don't have to do that.

I'd like you to stay...

with me. Whenever you want to.

Right, well...that's unexpected.

Am I being too forward?

No, no, not at all.

Last night was nice,

and I'd like to see you when you're in town.

I'd like that, too.

Did you...? Have you mentioned, you know, to anyone, about us?

Last night?

It's no-one else's business.

No, no, you're right, yeah.

I don't think Annie would approve, that's for sure.

Her and my wife are pretty good pals.

-Your wife? You're married?

-You knew that.

I told you this morning - my wife would be expecting me back.

You said "the boss." I thought you meant your actual boss.

I never would have...

done what we did if I'd known you were married.

-Where's your wedding ring?

-I don't wear it cos of surgery.

Oh, my God.

What? Come on, relax. It doesn't change a thing.

Of course it does. It changes everything.

I am so stupid for thinking y...

I need to go.

Jenny! Jenny! Jenny, don't go!

DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

Hi, come here, you.

What?

-Thought you were meeting your pals?

-I did.

You're home early.

It's like you lot don't want me here at all.

Calm your jets.

Have you been crying?

No, I haven't.

What's going on? And don't give me any of that hay fever guff.

Is it what we talked about earlier?

-I'm just homesick, that's all.

-Aye, and I'm Cheryl Cole,

or whatever she calls herself these days.

Please, Mum, I just want to go to bed.

You're going nowhere until you tell me why you look like Alice Cooper.

-Please, Mum.

-Spill!

All right, fine! I slept with someone - a man - and he's married.

Happy now?

What do you mean, "man"?

Is this the Thai food guy?

You knew about this?

Aye, but I never knew he was married!

How old is he?

I don't know.

Ballpark. Older than her?

-Older than ME?

-Maybe.

What's his name?

-I'm not telling.

-Aye, you are,

cos I'm going to find him and I'm going to rip his eyes out and

-shove them down his throat.

-All right, Rambo, chill out.

You keep out of this. You've done enough.

This is why I didn't want to tell you,

-because I don't want you getting involved.

-You're my wee girl!

I'm not a wee girl! I'm an adult, I'm a grown woman.

Just leave it.

I'm going to kill him. I'm going to find out who he is,

and I'm going to kill him with my bare hands.

So, what's new?

Well, this is lame, even for you two.

I know she told you what I told her last night, so, come on, then.

Let's have it. Yes, it happened. No, I'm not traumatised.

Yes, we used protection. Anything else?

OK, look, I'm not going to interrogate you.

You're an adult now, it's your business.

Are you serious?

Some pervert slept with your teenage daughter and that's all you can say?

Any normal faither would want to string the guy up.

How I feel about this is neither here nor there.

We just need to know you're OK before you head back to uni.

I'm not going back.

What? You're not serious?

I'm out of my depth there. Socially, financially.

I don't belong in that world.

I'm going to stay here and get a job.

Is this cos of that Nick guy? Cos he's a doctor?

You cannae let one rotten scumbag spoil everything.

-How do you know it was Nick?

-What?

I never told you his name.

-I guessed.

-You're not that clever.

Have you got my phone?

-No.

-Mum!

All right. But it was only cos I was worried about you.

Give it to me.

-Where you going?

-Out!

HE SIGHS, DOOR CLOSES

And I've got the room for you and your girlfriend,

if she wants to come up and all.

I've got my job down there, and Jane.

I need to get back.

It's no' about me.

I mean, things are hard at the moment,

Scarlett's rushed off her feet, and I cannae help her on my own.

So it's about Scarlett, is it?

Could you no' just stay another couple of weeks?

Just to lend a hand?

I'll phone my boss in the morning,

see if I can take all my leave at once.

Maybe Jane can come up here for a visit.

That'll dae for starters, son.

Oh-ho-ho! Back already?

Hello, Molly.

I'm just here for the rest of my stuff from your flat.

Liz! Right on time, as always.

Molly, Bob.

Cannae stay away, eh?

No, I just couldn't carry everything yesterday.

If you say so.

If you're heading for the Oyster, I'll just nip up to the flat

to get the rest of Liz's things. Won't be two ticks.

Oh, that'll be shining bright.

I'm no' having another dodgy bampot rifling through my drawers.

-I'll come with you.

-Very well.

Listen, would you get me one of those coffee lattes, son?

Full fat milk. None of your skinny nonsense. Right, come on.

It's the two small cases in m... my room.

I know! 'Mon.

It's no' my hearing that's the problem. It's this knock-off gear.

Keep your voice down. They're no' knock-off.

I want a refund.

"I want" doesnae get. You should be more careful

about what you spend your money on in future. Beat it.

-All right, mate?

-All right?

You've still got some of those headphones left?

What? Oh, aye, a few.

I was thinking you've got a pretty limited customer base here.

-Have I?

-I could off-load some for you.

I've got my car, I could try selling them round the markets.

I only got them in yesterday...

Aye, but...

But I've got a chance of a job lot of trainers coming in, right enough.

Well, you'll need the space. What've you got to lose?

All my profits,

if you run off with the lot and scam me out of what I'm owed.

-Do I look like I've got a death wish?

-Fine.

You pay me cost price for the lot up front, and we'll share the profits.

OK. What's the split? 50/50?

-You're at it, pal.

-60/40.

-70/30.

-You're killing me here.

I don't need you. I can sell them here.

OK. 70/30. But only because you have beautiful eyes.

Don't embarrass yourself, Sideburns.

Uno, dos, tres...

If it's what my Maw wants,

then I'm sure I can spare a few weeks, just till she's sorted.

I just worry about it...being back. Old surroundings, old habits.

It's harder for me here.

It's the opposite for me. I feel like myself here.

It's home.

I mean, I thought it would be nice, being with Eileen and Stuart, but...

..I just feel further away from Malcolm.

Your room's still free.

Molly doesn't want me around.

Och, she does so. You know what my mother's like.

She doesnae like showing her feelings, and you're just as bad.

But it's those stairs.

Thanks, see you again.

DOOR OPENS I want a word with you.

You can't just barge in here, Ms McLean.

I can when your pal takes advantage of my daughter.

It's all right, Steph. Just give us five minutes, OK?

What's this about?

Your doctor pal, Nick. The guy you put Jenny in touch with.

-He's took advantage of her.

-In what way?

What way do you think?

What the hell were you thinking,

sending my daughter to live with some pervert?

Right, first of all, he doesn't live there, and secondly,

I would never have put her in touch with him if I thought...

Oh, Caitlin, I'm so sorry. I'm just as shocked as you are.

No' as shocked as he's going to be when I get my hands on him.

Give me his address.

-I don't think that's a good idea.

-Well, I don't care what you think!

Well, it's not going to help Jenny if you get done for assault.

Aye, if he's lucky!

Is Jenny OK?

No, she's no'. She's hurt and confused.

He's a married man!

Right, OK, well, you just focus on Jenny, right? I'll deal with Nick.

I don't want him anywhere near my wee lassie.

You make sure and tell him that.

I will.

And you stay away from her and all. You've done enough damage.

I'm sure it's further away than it used to be.

It's closer than you think.

Just one step at a time.

Exactly.

Pleasure doing business with you, my friend.

About a month ago, I left you my CV.

I remember you said to check back with you.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Hey, weren't you going to uni?

I'm considering my options.

Well, like I said, we don't have anything right now,

but I've got your details, so, if something comes up,

-I'll give you a call.

-OK, thank you.

What was that about?

Poor kid thinks she can get a bar job without any experience.

-But she's at uni in Leeds.

-I don't know.

I've double checked. You've no' missed anything.

I'll get out of your hair, then. DOOR CLOSES

Liz, what are you doing here?

I hope you didnae ask my boy to carry you up those stairs!

I didn't need to! I managed them myself!

And while we're on the subject,

it's not me taking advantage of Bob's good nature. It's you.

Pardon?

Asking him to leave his new life,

just because you're too proud to admit that you're scared and lonely.

Listen, I've just had a nutter rampaging through my house!

You'd be scared!

I'd be petrified! I freely admit it.

Oh, what do you care anyway?

You're the one that left me on my own.

You were the one that never asked me to stay.

Now, I climbed those stairs, because you are my friend,

and I want to help you.

-How can you do that from Luss?

-Oof...

I never realised I was leaving all the best bits of my life behind me.

Malcolm...

..and you.

That was your choice.

Oh, for goodness' sake, woman, she wants to come home.

Is that true?

Do you want it to be true?

Well, if it'll make you happy, I suppose.

What about those stairs? I mean, we cannae afford a stairlift.

Och, I'll manage. I'm not ready to give up yet.

I think I'll just put these back where I found them.

-Cup of tea?

-Oh, lovely.

What's this to do with you anyway?

I am partly culpable here. I sent her to you. I mean...

You're old enough to be her father, for God's sake.

Aye, but I'm no', am I? So what's the problem?

You took advantage of an impressionable young woman.

We're two consenting adults.

She's barely an adult.

Still legal. Lighten up, will you, Annie? I've done nothing wrong here.

She was the one who pursued me. She's clearly got a crush.

Who can blame her, eh?

You know, this self-assured,

cocky swagger used to be attractive to some women...

How is your hot wee sister?

..but now you're just a sleazy narcissist careering towards

a pathetic mid-life crisis.

-Does your wife know?

-Eh?

-About your fetish for teenage girls?

You wouldn't dare.

Stay away from Jenny McLean, and I won't have to.

-They're faulty.

-What?

Only the right ear works. I've checked the lot.

Are you serious? All of them?

How much did you pay?

Angus said you were in there looking for a job.

You can't let this situation with your landlord

put you off university. He's not worth it.

It's not just about him. It's the whole thing. I don't fit in.

Of course you do. You're smart, you're funny, you're gorgeous...

There's no-one else like me on my course.

They're all posh, rich kids, out drinking and partying.

None of them have to work.

I eat cereal or noodles for dinner, cos it's all I can afford.

I thought that moving into this guy's flat meant

you'd have more money, and you wouldn't need to work so much?

Exactly! And now I can't go back there.

Well, we'll find you somewhere else, right? And I'll help out.

I'll send you money every month. It wouldn't be much, but...

It's not just about the money. It's who I am, where I come from.

I don't belong in that world, with people like him.

You are the first person in our family to go to university.

Have you got any idea how amazing that is?

We are so, so proud of you.

I know, and I don't want to let anyone down, but....

But you've got to believe in yourself, stand up for yourself,

and, if you get knocked down, you bounce back up, and you keep going.

-I just don't think I can.

-PHONE BUZZES

Is that him?

He wants to see me. Says he owes me an apology.

Well, you know you don't need to go.

I'm a hundred quid down! That American lassie takes no prisoners.

Look, I don't have your money. I paid my leccy with it,

-and, even if I had it, I wouldn't give you it back.

-You cheating...

Did I ever tell you they headphones were in perfect working order?

-No, but...

-No buts! You should have checked them before you took them.

It's no' my fault you're an amateur.

Are we done here?

I've only got a deep sea diver to last me the rest of the week!

Look, I've got they trainers coming in tomorrow.

I'll see if I can put some of them your way.

Don't tell me - they're all left feet.

Take it or leave it, Mutton Chops.

See you tomorrow. But I'll be checking the merchandise this time.

Give my love to your merry men.

You told Annie.

-I didn't.

-Then who did?

This is your idea of an apology?

-So what, you going to blackmail me now?

-No.

Because, if you tell anyone else, and I mean anyone,

your career's over. You hear me?

Hey! No-one. Do you understand?

You make out like you're this nice guy.

Maybe I SHOULD tell people what you're really like.

This gets out, who do you think they're going to believe? Huh?

A neurotic, immature girl from a benefit-scrounging,

single-parent family, or me?

You'll be seen as a fantasist, or a gold-digging tramp.

You think I want anyone to know I had anything to do

with someone like you?

Seriously, I'll end your career before it's begun.

What if I don't have a career? What if I don't go back?

Dropping out? I thought you had more backbone than that.

Who are you phoning? Oi!

Hi, Mrs Farringdon? My name is Jenny McLean.

I'm an 18-year-old medical student,

living in your husband's apartment in Leeds.

I thought you might like to know that your husband's been unfaithful.

Ho! I want a word with you.

-Who are you?

-Your worst nightmare, sunshine.

-We're Jenny's parents.

-Yeah, well, I've no time for this.

You'd better make time.

You hurt my little girl, you don't just get to walk away.

What are you going to do? Hit me? Go on, then.

Do your worst.

Well, I don't think violence is necessarily the answer here.

Pathetic, just like your daughter.

-Excuse me?!

-Hold on.

NICK YELLS IN PAIN

I cannae believe you just did that.

I can have you done for assault, pal.

Aye, you could. But I'll tell everyone you're a sick paedo.

She's 18!

See, that's the thing about mud - it sticks. You'll still be ruined.

No smoke without fire, eh? NICK YELLS IN PAIN

And if you ever come near my wee lassie again,

I'll rip you a new one, and send you the old one in the post.

-Do we understand each other? BREATHLESS:

-Yeah, yeah.

Put him down, Mum. He's not worth it.

You should probably get going. Your wife's waiting.

I wish I could have seen his face when you called Martha.

Thanks for getting me her number.

No, it's my pleasure, believe me.

I really am so sorry, Jenny.

I never for a second thought he would try it on.

It's not your fault.

I knew that he was up to something when he came round here yesterday

asking after you.

I've not seen him looking that guilty since

he slept with my little sister at uni.

But, you know, I thought he'd grown up, settled down...

I was wondering - and feel free to say no -

but I was wondering if your offer of a loan was still open?

Yeah, 'course it is, but it doesn't have be a loan.

I'm happy to give you the money to help.

No. I'll pay you back eventually, when I'm qualified.

but I can't keep working three jobs if I'm going to go back to uni.

IF you're going to go back?

I was just having some doubts.

WAS having? Past tense?

No, they're still there...

but I don't want to be the person Nick thinks I am.

He told me I had no backbone.

So, I need to prove him wrong.

Listen, lady -

you've got more fight in you than most people I know,

and you're not going to give up. Not on my watch.

I know you miss her, but it's selfish to encourage her to stay.

She doesnae have to jack it in forever, just until she's ready.

She's going back. End of discussion.

Jen, about uni...

So, I can get the overnight bus back to Leeds in an hour,

but there's one in the morning and I don't have any classes tomorrow,

so can I stay another night?

Of course you can, sweetheart. Or, rather, Dr McLean.

Got a nice ring to it, that.

So you're going back?

I've never run away from a fight in my life.

I'm not going to start now.

That's my girl!

Tonight, we're hosting the apps launch party.

-Dating apps are for losers.

-Really?

I don't need help to find a woman.

Molly, I saw Madonna's video.

You don't have to hide it any more.

-I'm worried about her. She's no' coping.

-We were...

What we did the other week....

I'm the head of Murdoch Enterprises, and I'm here to tell you, as of now,

Amber will be running this place.

People like you make me sick.

Can I help you?

I'm looking for Amber. Amber Murdoch.

How did you find me?

We will never just be friends.

Not after everything we've been through.