14/11/2017 River City

Working for Rick Harper,

that's about as daft as you can get.

I told you, it wisnae me.

And I don't believe you!

Was what he said true?

Of course no'.

You're here early.

No. We're bang on time.

We?

Does that mean...?

Engaged.

So, you do anything like this again, I will be gone.

I kind of told him that me and you were an item.

I got you a present.

I hate you!

I might grab a wee, cheeky can before...

There you go.

THEY GRUNT Huh?

I liked the other one fine.

It was ancient. Even looking at it was depressing me.

Now you know how I feel having to look at your mug all day.

Very good! Look, our wean is going to have the best of stuff.

No more cast-offs for Baby BoGus.

Can we afford this, Bob?

I mean, I don't mean to sound ungrateful,

it's just my mat leave won't bring in much if I take off the full year

so I'd rather we saved now ...

Look, don't worry. We're mobbed at work the now.

Really? Because you're both here.

Aye, all right, slave-driver. We're just going.

Aren't we, Bob?

Bob, is there something you're not telling me?

Hey. Enough of the worrying. I've got this.

Everything's cool, right?

See you.

Morning.

Morning.

Everything all right?

It's fine. Better if you'd put some more clothes on.

Aye.

I didn't want things to be awkward, Ellie, you know, with us.

It's not awkward.

Why would you think that? It's fine.

It's good. It's great, even.

We're great, are we not?

You never called when I was in India.

I didn't want to pester.

You wouldn't have.

This, us, are we OK here?

ELLIE SIGHS

AJ...

FARAH YAWNS

For the love of Lady Gaga, get the coffee on pronto.

I barely slept a wink.

It's like sharing a bed with something from Jurassic Park.

SHE SNORES

What can I say?

I'm the sort of guy that knows how to shake a bedroom.

I'm surprised you didn't hear it through the walls.

No, I didn't hear a thing. I slept fine. Just...fine.

-How are you?

-Mmm.

-Mmm.

-Morning.

-Morning.

MOLLY SIGHS

You said you'd fixed this.

I'd get more suction putting Liz on the floor with a straw in her mooth.

I did fix it!

Aye, well, it's no' working!

Ho! That old flat of yours, it's a palace of dust and ooze.

I'll sort it, Molly.

Oh, Angus, you couldnae sort your socks fae your suspenders.

-I've got allergies, you know.

-To whit?

Mankiness.

Look, how's about we get you a new one?

Eh, I thought we were going to go easy on the...

It's the least we could do, isn't it, Angus?

I suppose.

Aw, that's awful good of you,

and you can take that auld thing to the skip and all.

-Did you see that?

-Aye, your gran fleeced us again.

Naw. How happy she was - we did that.

So?

So, after weeks of misery, this could be our chance to

spread a wee bit of happiness about here.

You need to take it easy, Flash The Cash.

The last thing we want to be doing is running about here

like the Secret Millionaire.

Do you mind the pasting I got off that nutter, Rick?

That was weeks ago. Nah, we're in the clear now.

-Then what about Stevie?

-What about him?

-Well, somebody spiked his drink.

-So?

So...

That'll be nothing to do with the cash.

Are you sure?

Aye.

You're gonnae have to talk eventually.

I've got ways, you know.

So, you don't want to speak, hmm?

Fair enough.

You know, two can play at that game.

You know, I should put a stop to all this.

Put the old man out his misery.

He's trying.

Callum, will you say something to your granda here? Eh?

I mean, just speak. Anything.

LENNY SIGHS

Ooft. You look terrible.

Being spiked isnae exactly a great combo on my meds.

Find out who did it?

What's with the brotherly concern?

I'm just asking.

Well, let's just say you're no' the only one avoiding Rick.

How, do you think it was him that done it?

I was supposed to find out who took that cash. I never.

I messed up, I took the hit.

And what about the money?

Ah, It's been weeks. It'll be well cleaned.

I'll tell you what, though, if I ever find out who took it,

I'll make sure they pay for this.

Aye, and I'll help.

Ellie, this is a bit awkward, and I don't know the best way to

say it without sounding like a bit of a walrus, but...

But?

It's about AJ.

I need you to tell me what he's into.

Excuse me?

Well, what he likes and that.

SHE SCOFFS Well, maybe you should ask Annie,

although that'd be a bit weird seeing as that they've...

Oh, God, no! Not that.

I don't need any hints and tips with that, thank you.

I said I'd organise this party today, only I'm doubting myself.

I need you to cast your eye on this,

and tell me if what I've ordered looks OK.

You know him better than me.

Only I don't, do I?

Well, I just... I wouldn't want to interfere.

Go on, I have no-one else I can ask,

and I would literally get down on my knees and beg,

only these have just been washed and that floor doesn't look

as though it's been mopped for weeks.

Oh, please.

Well...

-Oh, well, I'd lose the hot prawns.

-Seriously?

Yeah, absolutely.

"If it's hotter than the sea, it's not for me."

Oh, and I hope you've negotiated a good rate on shots.

cos you've no idea how much him and Pete can put away.

Shots?

Last time I was on them,

I came home wearing three bits of clothing,

two of which were shoes.

AJ doesn't need to see that.

Are you kidding? He'd love that!

It's weird to think, after knowing each other all these years,

we finally got together.

You know what that is?

Desperation? ELLIE LAUGHS

I'm joking.

It's fate.

I don't believe in all that.

You will.

Ellie, when you meet the right person, it's like,

no matter what obstacles - or vultures named Annie Sheldon -

are in your way, it'll happen,

and you and that person will end up together,

and there isn't anything anyone can do to stop that.

You know, I'd be lying if I said I wasnae enjoying watching

an eight-year-old make you squirm.

Yeah, you know, 18 months ago and that boy would have been

over the moon to spend time with his granda.

Well, maybe he's just old enough to see you for exactly what you are.

Yeah, or maybe you and Kelly-Marie spent all your time

trying to turn him against me.

That's over an hour now. When's he going to go?

Oh! What is it? We're punching in on a clock now?

Well, you heard the boy. He thinks you should go.

Yeah, well, let me tell you what I think...

Perhaps it would be in everyone's best interests

if we wrapped up today's visit.

You arenae gonnae stand there

and let this clown stake a claim to my grandwean?

Lenny, you should go.

LENNY EXHALES

And you can wipe that smirk off your face,

if you want to stay living here.

DOOR CLOSES

Please, Mum!

Madonna! This isnae up for debate. You're not going.

-Why not?

-Cos I said so.

That's not even a reason.

Bob, tell her. Mum's not letting me go on the school trip,

but everyone else is going.

Just say you're allergic to the sun.

So you want me to lie, then?

No, but, Madonna,

these sort of things, they're not affordable for the likes of us.

Fine, I'll ask Uncle Lenny.

-You will not.

-Or Stevie.

Why don't you ask me?

How much is it?

-Bubba, it's £600.

-No, it's not, it's 595.

HE LAUGHS Let me see that.

HE EXHALES

Right, here we go.

There, deposit sorted.

Bubba, you've got a wean on the way.

Would you not have loved that, Ma? To have went somewhere like...?

-Paris.

-Paris? Really? At her age?

-Aye, but...

-Exactly.

-Are you sure about this?

-Don't worry, Ma. Things are on the up.

Madonna, what do you say to your big brother?

Eh, favourite big brother?

-Thanks, Bob.

-You're welcome, pal.

You should get AJ told.

You can't catch a fish unless you go fishing.

Shut up, Mum.

Come here, you.

Oh. Classy.

Always.

AJ WOLF WHISTLES

Who's this vision of beauty I see before me?

-That's gross, Uncle AJ.

-Not you.

Can I just, sorry, move...?

You know, it's just health and safety.

A-As you were.

Farah.

I used to have a pair of jeans named that, way back, in the olden days.

I hope you hung onto them, love. They're back in fashion.

Och, naw. I threw those old things in the bin.

Best place for them.

So are we still looking at a guest list of about 20-30 people?

You are kidding, aren't you?

You need to bump up the numbers more than that.

-I'm very popular around here.

-Really?

-Yeah.

There's Pete, Caitlin, Annie...

You're not inviting your ex-wife to our engagement party, are you?

That's not a problem, is it?

-Why would it be a problem?

-Exactly, it isn't.

It's, creepy, yeah, weird, definitely.

But a problem? No.

Can we maybe discuss this later, in private?

Oh, Ellie doesn't mind. Do you, love?

-I...

-See.

-What about...?

Oh, I really couldn't care less.

I'm just here to get numbers confirmed.

I suppose I could ask Annie not to...

I'm not having her think that she's some sort of threat,

not on your Nelly Furtado. Put her down with a plus-one.

-Right, who else?

-Ellie.

Oh, no, I'll need to babysit Ruby,

cos Caitlin and Pete, they don't get out much.

Oh, Ellie, I'm not asking you,

I'm telling you. I need you there for moral support.

And I hate to pull the you're-the-only-friend-I've-got- around-here card,

but, well, I'm pulling it.

Going to just tell them that you're coming so I can get on with things?

Well, I'll need to speak to Caitlin, so...

Well, do it. Get it sorted.

OK, I will.

Oh, by the way, thanks for cutting the chilli prawns. Rank.

It's like I've always said - if it's hotter than the sea...

-SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-It's not for me?

-Scottish?

-Yeah!

THEY LAUGH

DOOR CLOSES

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

-You're supposed to be at work.

-So are you.

Scarlett and Madonna popped in with a coffee for me

and said that you'd offered to pay for their school trip?

Eh...

What's going on, Bob?

First the cot, now this.

I mean, I know you said we're doing OK, but we don't have that sort of money.

HE BREATHES RAGGEDLY

Right, look...don't freak out, all right?

Whose money's this?

-It's ours.

-Ours? How can it be...?

Where did it come from, Bob? The truth.

I...

I found it. No, look, that is the truth.

-I was fixing a motor and that was inside, and...

-So you STOLE it?

No. I was doing a few jobs under the counter for Rick.

I don't care how, but you get this out of our house.

Return it, every penny.

This'll keep us on our feet.

Do you know how he earns this?

He sells women.

-So you get this out of our house, NOW.

-Naw, I won't!

We're keeping it. End of.

Angus? Angus. What're you doing later?

Well, I was planning on...

I need you to come with me to this engagement party.

Right, in...? In what capacity?

And, this time, be honest.

What do you think?

I'm going to have to hear you say it, Ellie.

As...my boyfriend.

Sorry, it's sort of hard to hear you with all this noise out here.

As my boyfriend. OK?

Ah.

So you liked the wee tester ride as the Angus Lindsay love candy last week, eh?

I don't blame you, hen.

-Please, Angus? I'm desperate.

-Thanks.

You don't know what it's like living with them -

they're all over each other, day in, day out. I feel like a third wheel.

One condition.

We don't tell Bob.

See, we've got this code amongst bros - you might not have heard of -

-it's called the Bro Code.

-Is that right?

-Aye.

The Bro Code states that you mustn't tread in another man's

vegetable garden, even if he no longer wants the vegetables.

Seriously? Vegetables? Are you looking for a warmed jaw?

-By that, I meant...

-I know what you meant, Angus, it's fine.

Whatever. We won't tell Bob.

-Have we got a deal?

-I don't know.

-There's free booze, and food.

-You're on.

Great.

WHISPERS: Thank you.

What you doing?

If we're going to do this, it has to be real.

And, luckily for you, Angus Lindsay is the expert at this.

SHE CHUCKLES

Cheers, mate.

You've got nae idea.

You grew up nice. Money when you wanted, getting to go on school trips.

-We had hee-haw.

-We'd never let it get that bad.

You think being poor's a choice? It's passed down to you.

Fae my gran, to my ma, to me.

Well, I'm no' having it. I'd rather a few guilty, sleepless nights

than having to put my wean through that life.

-And what if Rick comes looking for it?

-He'll no'!

Stevie said it ended with him. Done. Clean slate.

-Fresh start.

-Ended with...?

Do you mean to tell me that it was him that poisoned Stevie?

We don't know for sure, but...

And did you tell your brother

that it's you that's been hiding the cash here?

That it's your fault that he was left for dead?

SHE SCOFFS

Angus, Stevie...

is there anyone else you're willing to sacrifice

for the sake of some easy cash?

-You give this back, every penny, or...

-I cannae!

-I've already spent some of it.

-On what?

I don't know - stuff.

What, like the cot? I told you, I liked the one we had. Just take it back.

-But...

-You get this money back by the end of tonight,

-every penny, or...

-Or what?

-I told you before, Bob -

I will not bring this child up in a house full of liars and thieves.

HE SNIFFS

Right.

So it's your way, or nae way?

I'm trying to keep you safe. Us safe.

I don't want him knocking on our door and coming after us.

You...you give this back.

You do this for us.

OK, Bob?

-And you apologise to Stevie.

-Whit?

It's your fault that he was put in the hospital.

You tell him the truth,

and then we really do have a clean slate.

BAG HITS FLOOR

HE EXHALES

Hey. Hey. Let me guess - coffee, latte...

-Tea.

-Right. So that's what you like?

What do you mean?

Tea?

Well, yeah, it's just tea.

Do you like anything else?

Loads. Ice hockey, Game of Thrones...

SHE LAUGHS

You're not exactly subtle, are you?

Shy girls don't get what they want.

-There's something different about you today.

-Right.

Well...

You going to this party this afternoon?

Not much choice, really. Dad's best mate. Only...

Only what?

It's not going to be much fun, is it,

standing about with a bunch of 40-year-olds, sipping wine?

Lucky for you, I'm going, then, isn't it?

Are you always like this?

No. Sometimes I can be a bit full-on and pushy.

-Oh, and, Danny?

-Uh-huh?

Nice try.

OK, thank you.

You need to tell her. She'd want to know.

Tough. We can tell her after.

After what? We've burnt you in your box and sang Kumbaya?

Look, let's just wait and see what the hospital have to say.

You'll not be able to hide it for much longer -

you look like death warmed up.

My liver is riddled with the cancer, Caitlin.

Forgive me if I don't look like Claudia Schiffer.

Kim! Come here.

What?

-I'm looking for a medical opinion.

-Whit you asking her for?

She's a nurse - she's no more qualified than I am.

Aye, but she's actually allowed to practise.

-I'm saying that my ma should tell Ellie, about the...

-WHISPERS:

-..cancer.

Shouldn't she?

Oh, for... Look, it is my business who I tell or don't tell.

She's right. It's Maggie's choice.

See?

Though support within the family unit is crucial.

I mean, Ellie will want to know.

-MAGGIE:

-She'll not be able to cope with this.

How do you know what she can cope with

-if you don't give her the chance?

-MAGGIE SCOFFS

What do you know, anyway?

I know that lying never solves anything,

and that secrets are what destroys a family.

Look, it's no-one else's business except me.

All right, Maw.

Only, it's not.

I mean, the decisions you make, Maggie, affect your whole family.

It's them who'll be left behind if something happens to you.

What you doing?

It's to go back.

Could you not have decided that before we spent two hours

-trying to build it?

-Kim found the money.

-Ah.

-She went tonto. Says it's not our money to have.

Aye, well, she's right.

What, are you defending her?

I'm saying it's not our money.

-It never was.

-Angus, do you know what this could dae for us?

Aye. I remember.

That's my point. If we give this money back,

then it's all been for nothing.

You promised Kim you'd get rid of it.

I could hide it. She'd never know.

Listen...

having this cash, lying to Kim...

..could ruin what you both have.

It could gie us a chance.

Naw.

If she finds out you're lying to her...you'd have nae chance.

Is it worth it?

It's a lot of money.

Is it worth it?

BOB SIGHS

Naw.

I got him a bouncy castle, for crying out loud.

And a clown.

Not so much as a smile or a thank-you.

Maybe he doesn't like bouncy castles.

All weans like bouncy castles.

I helped bring the boy up.

Like 100 years ago.

I'm Cal's auntie - do you want me to speak to him?

Eh, you're all right.

You should try being nice to him.

I'm nice to all of youse.

No, you're not. You only talk nice to the lassies.

Oh, that right?

Just ask Alex.

Nice, eh?

Easy enough.

Speak to Cal like you'd speak to me, or Amber...

or Lydia.

Aye...very good.

What do you mean you've cancelled the order?

I-I didnae have as much in my account as I thought I did.

Can Frodo Baggins not chip in a bit more?

Angus cannae be expected to pay for you, Gran.

This is typical of you, Bob Adams.

You're nae better than your faither...

-whoever he was.

-Gran!

How am I supposed to get my skirtings done?

I don't know. Use a brush?

Oh, aye, paint me red and call me Henry Hoover.

Gran, I'll make it up to you.

Don't bother yourself. I'll phone our Stevie.

He'll sort it oot.

HE SIGHS

-Will you just pick one?

-They're both nice.

I'm not wanting nice, am I? I'm looking for hot.

Nobody's going to be looking at you. It's their engagement party.

Thanks very much.

Oh, it's going to be a nightmare,

watching the two of them all over each other.

I wouldnae worry about it. You know what you're like -

two weeks and you'll be onto somebody else.

-What's that supposed to mean?

-Nothing.

Well, it's hardly the first time you've talked

yourself into fancying somebody.

-When have I ever...?

-Buster, Bob.

They said they were into you, and what did you do?

Convinced yourself you fancied them back.

-Eh, I had feelings for the both of them.

-Did you?

Or were you just grateful they liked you?

-Caitlin.

-I'm just saying.

Well...maybe your feelings for AJ aren't what you think they are.

You weren't that into him until he tried to get off with you.

Now, you think you're the new Ross and Rachel.

-Do you think we're like...?

-Aye, in a pathetic ten-years-on sort of way.

Right. Well, it wasn't that last week - you were egging me on.

You told me to go and get pulling pants.

Aye, when that's when I thought he was single. Ellie, he's engaged.

So?

What, so I just shouldn't tell him? Why? Cos she got in there first?

No. Cos she didn't need weeks of him being away to get into him.

Ellie, AJ and you, you had a moment, maybe you could've got together.

You said no, he moved on - you need do the same.

-That one.

-Aye?

You're the only one I can trust to tell me like it is, Caitlin.

No matter how much it hurts.

-And that's 25p change. Merci beaucoup.

-Thank you.

That's French for "Ta".

Very much.

Ta very much.

Bonjour, mon frere.

Hello, potato?

No. That's pomme de terre. Duh!

Check the nick of her, eh?

We never even made it past Troon train station and now,

thanks to you, she'll be taking selfies of the Eiffel Tower

with a bagel in her mooth.

Aye. Er... About that.

Gonnae you take a compliment? You're worse than Stevie!

I'm not going to lie to you, now that Jimmy's gone,

knowing that you two are looking out for us, means a lot, Bubba.

So, what are you in for?

Nothing, I just...

She's been on that phone all morning tae her pals, talking about this school trip.

My head's gonnae be bursting by the time it happens.

Are you all right?

Aye. Aye, I'm fine.

C'est A-OK.

Oui.

How's my favourite big brother?

Favourite? Right, what's up?

Nothing, I just... Are you all right?

Aye, I'm fine. What're you after?

I need some cash. Nothing much.

A grand should cover it.

Is that not a bit much for a hoover?

Aye, Gran phoned.

No. It's not for that. I... I've messed up.

That's twice in one day, that must be some kind of record even for you.

It's not for me, it's for Madonna.

What's she needing with that kind of...?

I promised her she could go on her school trip, only...

Only you've not got the cash. And you're assuming that I do?

Well, you're a successful businessman, aren't you?

Aye, because, unlike you, Bob, I know that I need to keep an eye

on what I spend in order for it to stay that way.

I wouldnae ask you if I wasn't...

Only you do, Bob.

Every time single time you're straight over asking me.

Do you know, I could've done with seeing your face more

when I was inside but I guess the Bank of Big Brother wasn't

open for business then, eh?

Do you know what? Forget it. I don't need anything from you, all right?

Forget I even asked.

Bob! Bob!

Look at them.

They're like a couple of wee dugs chasing their own tails.

They're enjoying themselves.

So are you.

Do you think I was harder on the boys?

You know you were, else you wouldn't be asking.

Cal'll come around.

Yeah. Just like Ewan and Rory did?

That was different.

Oh, I know, Cal hates me and he's not in puberty yet.

Your boys, they knew that you loved them.

Well, let's just ask them.

I was there that night, remember?

When Ewan fell.

You told him that you loved him. That you were sorry.

For all the good it did.

Right.

You listen to me.

If you want that boy back in your life

you have to love him, unconditionally.

He hits, you cuddle.

He tells you that he hates you, you tell him that you adore him.

You know, you've got to earn love, Lenny, not just expect it

because it's family.

Don't give up on Cal.

I haven't on you.

CHILDREN LAUGHING

The trip will have to come out of her savings now.

I'm sorry, Ma. Really, I am.

Sorry? That was for Madonna, for when she goes to university.

Well, that's not happening any time soon, is it?

Even when I was down to my last penny,

still I never touched these savings.

That was meant to give her the start that we never had.

Well, you could always...

Always what? Tell her and break her wee heart?

Make her look like an eejit in front of all her wee pals?

Naw. You know, you used to be the reliable one around here.

Not any more.

Don't do this to your own wean. Make promises you cannae keep.

I know.

Do you?

Cos Paddy used to do this to yous lot all the time.

Promise you trips and days oot.

And it was me left to mop up all the tears

while he sat in the pub drinking all his money away.

-I'm not Paddy.

-Of course you're not.

-But why did you say you could pay for it if you couldnae?

-I just thought...

-Thought what?

We never got to do any of that sorta stuff.

I wanted Madonna to have a better go at it than we did.

Oh, right.

I didn't realise that your life had been that bad.

No, Ma...

MUSIC: Going Underground by The Jam

Your hair's gorgeous, Ellie.

Smells even better.

HE SNIFFS

Angus, can you get me a refill, please?

Certainly, my little angel delight.

You two are so sweet together.

You think?

He's smitten.

Well, you would know.

I mean, who even wears leather skirts these days?

What is this, the '90s?

And you know, that colour is straight out of a bottle.

Crow black, I'll bet.

Come on. You can't think he still has feelings for her.

Oh, Farah, I know AJ, and when him

and Annie split up it destroyed him, but he's past that now.

Yeah. I know.

Why eat mashed spuds when you can have a sweet, curly potato fry?

Exactly.

You know, when we hooked back up, he wasn't ready for a relationship.

Nothing serious. Still wasn't over a certain someone.

Really? He said that...that he wasn't over Annie?

Well, he didn't say her name, but it's obvious, isn't it?

Here. You know what would make this even better?

A crossbow and arrow?

No...

No! I told you I wasn't drinking.

Aw, come on, it's your party.

-And if it's good enough for them...

-I dunno.

It's either that or we stand over here like paranoid wrecks.

Maybe just the one.

Go on.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

-I didnae have a white flag, so.

-Did you tell Stevie?

Stevie's family. He understands what I did.

Are you sure we have to give this back?

Yes! Right now. Is it all there?

Every penny.

It's the right thing to do, Bob.

Tell that to my ma and my gran.

Bob, you have to get rid of that money! Now.

-You're right.

-Do you want me to come with you?

No! I'll give it to Alex. Make it his problem.

Alex? Shouldn't you give it to Rick?

Don't be daft - he'd kill me. Alex understands that world.

He'll know what to do.

I'll just leave it in his office or something.

Isn't that a bit risky?

Well, it's AJ's party. The place'll be mobbed.

I just need to put it back and then...

And then all this will be over.

Right, over.

I should've been a singer, you know.

Could've been. Missed my chance.

Story of my life.

Lassies, go easy, it's not even four o'clock yet.

Eh, I'm not even drunk.

Exactly. She's not drunk, I think I am, though. Am I?

Do I look drunk?

No. You look...beautiful.

Is it?

You are so beautiful.

That's why he loves you, you know that.

Cos you're beautiful, funny, witty...

Where's my glass?

I think we should be...

Don't be boring.

He's boring.

So boring.

This party's boring. What do you think?

I dunno.

Yeah, it is.

See! Boring! And she's cool.

Shelley.

Shelley.

What do you think of the music? It's rubbish, in't it?

You picked it.

-Did I?

-Yeah.

-Right, nobody apologise, I'll sort it.

By the way, I like this, it's much better?

Ellie, I think we should go.

No, Angus. I am having a brilliant time.

-One, two...

-Brilliant.

-Testing...

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to make an announcement -

this party's boring.

Not any more by the sound of it.

And teeth whitening and leather skirts are over-rated!

That was a joke, Annie. Just a joke.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my fiancee.

Thank you, thank you. Though I don't know anybody. Except Shelley.

She's cool.

And...and...Ellie.

Ellie. Ellie, bring the fizz, bring fizz, bring fizz.

Yes. 18 quid a bottle, ladies and gentlemen. Rip-off.

Anyway, Ellie...

Ellie... Oh, sorry.

Ellie's my good friend. She could've been a singer.

Only she didn't do it.

But tonight, ladies and gentlemen,

she's going to do it.

She is going to sing us a song! Ta-da!

I... No.

CHEERING

Ellie, it's time to go.

No, no, no, no, no. Ellie! Sing us a song!

Ellie!

AUDIENCE JOIN IN: Ellie! Ellie!

Ellie! Ellie! Ellie...

Stevie!

I just wanted to... How are you?

Oh, I'm brand-new, apart from the sore splitting headaches

and my guts feeling like a washing machine.

I'm sorry, Stevie. I really am.

It's not your fault.

Isn't it?

I never realised how worried Bob was about providing for us.

If I had've known he was hiding that money I'd have made him

give it back weeks ago, and then none of this would've happened.

Are you telling me that Bob's got that money?

-I... I thought you knew. Bob said...

-Of course I didn't know!

Don't be mad at him. He's making things OK.

-He's returning the money right now.

-What? What do you mean? Where's he taking it?

The Candle Room, he's giving it all back. Every penny.

No, no, no.

Pick up, pick up!

Bob! It's Stevie. Whatever you do, do not return that money.

Do you hear me? You're going to open a can of worms that's already closed.

Do not return that money. Do you hear me?

Candle Room.

Get your sister down from there now.

You joking? This is her thing. She loves all the attention.

On yourself, Ellie!

OK. I would like to sing a song for my good friend...

friends, Farah and AJ.

So...happy...

for you both.

-Yeah, make it a good one and then you can sing at the wedding.

-Haha!

# Every time I think of that night

# I still smile

# If I laughed and showed kindness

# It's cos you made me feel good for a while

# In your arms this girl's chances

# Didn't seem so bad

# Though I couldn't get you

# I could not forget to remember the night we had

# Will I tell you all the things if my heart says so?

# Will I show you everything

# I want you to know? #

TEARFUL: # Well, I will and I won't... #

-Ma, do something.

-Aye. Get her.

# I do and I don't... #

No!

I know it's not the right time and place,

this isn't the way it's meant to be.

-Right, enough. Come on.

-No, Caitlin. No!

I just want to tell the truth.

Like Mum says, cos you have to be honest.

If you're not honest, you're a liar,

and I'm not a liar.

I hate liars.

I don't want to be a vegetable in someone else's garden.

I want to go fishing, too. Eat the fish.

Because if two fishes love each other, then they should go fishing.

Do you know what I mean?

Haven't a scooby, doll, but if you want me to take you fishing,

-then I'll take you.

-So will I.

No. No! You're not listening.

And I know it's not the right time and place, and, Farah, you're

so lovely, with all your lovely, lovely hair and things, but...

..AJ...

..I feel....

SHE VOMITS

We're going to need a mop down here.

A mop? She's going to need a taxi home to her bed.

It's fine. I've got this.

You see the state she gets into over a guy?

I'm mortified.

I thought your song was good.

A wee bit intense, but otherwise, not too shabby.

What was I thinking? It's his engagement party!

You're all right.

I'll get you home, but can we save any close proximity stuff till

you've brushed your teeth, please?

You see...the thing is...Cal.

I know...

I've not seen you for a long time, pal...

..but I want you to know...

I want you to know that I...

That you...?

..that I missed you.

There wasn't a day went by where I didn't think about you.

Try to get in touch with your mum.

I couldn't find you.

I know.

Because we were hiding.

Hiding?

Yep, from him.

Cos we hate him.

Maybe someone should go and help him?

She's fine. She's with her boyfriend.

-Yeah, I suppose, but...

-She's fine.

You want to watch where you're going, wee man.

Do you hear me?

You all right, doll?

Get me a whisky.

Don't make me ask twice.

DOOR OPENS

You said you didnae have this.

You swore on your kid's life.

Suppose you've got a loophole, eh? Seeing it's not actually your wean.

Look, I'm not proud of it. I made a mistake.

But I'm making it better, mate.

Better. You don't actually know anything, do you?

Get that back in your bag and let's get out of here.

-No!

-What do you think Rick'll do when he gets this?

He's going to come after whoever it was that made him look stupid.

All he has to do is check the CCTV.

And then what, he comes after you and, who knows? Kim. Maw.

-Is that what you want?

-Of course not.

As far as Rick's concerned this money is long gone.

I promised Kim.

Oh, aye, cos she's always been so honest with you, hasn't she?

With the fake name and sleeping with Angus.

-She only lied about those things to...

-To what?

..to... I don't know. Protect me.

Is that not exactly what you should be doing? Protecting your family?

Cos keeping this money

is the best chance you've got of protecting them.

You're supposed to be keeping a low profile.

-A man needs to drink.

-Leave Frankie alone.

Oh, remember, she's the one that came to me. Most women do.

Right, enough. Out.

Oh, I get it. Putting on a show for the missus.

Playing the part of the protector.

If she puts out later, send me some pics, eh, cuz?

This is him, Brodie, filling his head full of mince.

You've no idea what I've done for Kelly-Marie.

You drove her out of here.

I risked my life for her and Cal.

No, you didn't. You tried to kill her.

Cal, you shouldn't say things like that.

I was only six, but I remember.

You made her write a note to say bye to me and Nana.

Naw. That's not what happened, pal.

I was trying to stand up for us, you know, for the family.

Sometimes you've got to let them know you're the eldest,

you're in charge. You've just remembered it all wrong.

I'm not lying! Mum told Jimmy you were going to kill her!

Callum, come on.

I'm not lying!

Hey, I know. I believe you.

Make him leave, Lydia.

Don't worry, he's going.

Right, now, why don't you go get changed into your jammies

and me and you, we can talk about this in your bedroom?

Hmmm? Go on.

Sit down.

Now!

Have we done the right thing?

It's done now.

Bob?

-Now we're equal.

-What's going on?

Nothing. Just getting a wee something out our systems.

Are you all right?

Fine.

I tried to phone you, but...

I switched it off.

I've been worried sick about you, Bob, anything could've happened to you.

Aye, well, if it did it would only be because you made me do it in the first place.

Sorry. I didn't mean to snap.

This day, I've been stressed out my box.

It's over now, though, yeah?

Aye. It's over now.

You don't know what Kelly-Marie did.

She crossed the bold Lenny Murdoch.

She dared to have a moral conscience,

her own opinion about how best to deal with things.

When does it stop, Lenny?

-I was...

-Don't!

Don't you dare say that you were trying to protect the family

because that is a lie.

You were trying to protect yourself. Your money, and your reputation.

It wasn't the same, OK? I was on my own.

It's different now. I've got Amber.

I've got Charlotte. I've got you.

He is traumatised because of you.

-I love that boy.

-You threatened to kill his mother!

That isn't love, Lenny.

I would never have harmed her, all right?

I was just trying to teach her a lesson.

And when are you going to learn?

Hm?

All this horror that you create, you pretend that it's about love,

or family, or respect, but it isn't.

It's about rage, and anger, and it's because you're scared.

Oh, I'm scared all right.

I'm scared of the people that watch Jeremy Kyle every morning,

thinks it makes them a professional head-fixer.

Go on. That's it. Push me away, too.

God forbid anyone would want to look after you.

I don't need looked after.

Of course you do.

We all do.

You should try letting me.

No.

Just because we had a few nights of fun it doesn't mean

we go straight back to playing happily families.

We need to get things sorted out.

And by "things" you mean me, eh?

You know something? You make me laugh.

You stand there, you judge me,

you say I don't care for the people around me.

Where were you when you were needed, hmm? I'll tell you.

Sitting in Spain.

Sunning yourself, drinking sangria with Captain Speedo.

I did my best.

So have I!

You might not see it, but Callum will eventually.

I just wanted to check you were OK.

I told you, I'm fine.

I know what he did was wrong, but you need to talk to him, Stevie.

You don't need to raise your fists.

He's lucky to have you.

To keep him in check.

He doesn't need kept or in check. He's his own man.

Obviously. But I'm just glad you see his point.

About the money. You're going to be off work for months.

At least this way it takes the pressure off you both.

I'd have done the very same.

Where is it?

Where's what?

The money. I know you still have it.

I don't. I gave it back - look!

You look me in the eyes and tell me the money's gone.

You tell me that we don't have to worry about it any more.

You don't have to worry about it any more.

Kim! I told you...

You must think I'm an idiot.

Do you realise how sick Stevie is because of this? Do you?

-He's seems fine to me.

-He's not fine!

Neither are we! Do you know how mortifying it is for me

to be bringing home less wages than you every week?

Why does that matter?

Because I'm the guy. I'm supposed to provide for my family.

No. We're supposed to be a team.

Look, I did this for us. To make you happy.

You want to make me happy?

Aye.

Burn it.

-What?

-That's what's going to make me happy. Getting rid of this.

You showing me what sort of man you are.

What sort of dad you're going to be.

I want to be with someone decent

and honest who always chooses to do the right thing.

So... Do it!

This is stupid. It's free money.

Nothing is free.

Kim, where are you doing?

I told you, I gave you a choice. You've clearly made it.

Kim! Kim, wait!

Stevie can forgive me. How can you not?

Because I'm scared. Can't you see that? For us. For the baby.

For you.

Listen...

No. You listen. If we keep this, it says we're sell-outs.

That we're happy for our family, our friends to be hurt,

threatened, poisoned, so long as we have money in the bank.

Is that who we are, Bob?

Is that who we want to be?

I won't live like this. I can't.

It's exactly what it was

like living with Simon, him constantly twisting ...

I'm not Simon, all right?

ALARM BLARES

I know after today I don't deserve it, but I need you to trust me.

OK? Look at me. Do you trust me?

Hello? Is that not your alarm going?

Oh!

Come on, let's go.

SHE GASPS

You're a good man, Bob Adams.

No, I'm not. But I'm going to be.

ALARM STOPS

MUSIC: Careless Whisper by George Michael

DOOR CLOSES

Come on, baby.

I knew he snored like a dinosaur,

but I didn't know he weighed like one!

Oh, Ellie, can you give me a hand, please?

Farah, I'm really sorry about earlier.

I don't know what I was thinking.

It's fine, love, it's fine.

Voice of an angel, guts like the devil.

CAR HORN BEEPS

Oh, I need to go and pay the...the...

Taxi.

Go on, you go with Ellie, baby. Go on.

OK, come on.

Shots. Need to get shots.

No, no, no. I think we've both had more than enough.

Oh, it's you, Ellie! Thanks.

Angus is a lucky boy.

I love you. You know that, don't you?

What?

What did you say?

Love you.

Well, that was a car crash of a party.

Well, at least we decided to show face.

Though I cannot believe that Rick decided to show his.

Are you all right?

They've set a date for the hearing.

Good. Four weeks from now, it will all be over.

Things will be back to normal.

Normal? Really, Alex?

You know what I mean.

No, no, I don't.

You're nothing but a liar, you always have been,

-you always will be.

-Caitlin, we've been through all this.

I know, but I feel terrible, her not knowing.

Oh, please.

You have seen the nick of her, and that's just over Specky Go Lightly.

The wee yin wouldn't cope knowing.

Cope with what?

Farah said you two were arguing in the back of the taxi,

so I thought I'd better come and referee.

-It's nothing to concern you about.

-Tell her.

Caitlin.

-Tell me what?

-It's nothing.

It's not nothing. She's got a right to know.

Know what?

I... I'm... Look, it's not big a deal or that, but...

it's just, I'll be fine, I will, it's just...

You cannae even say it?

She's dying, Ellie.

Ma's dying.

Right, we get tested.

If one of us is a match, then we give her half our liver.

I cannae do anything. Now I cannae even help my own mother.

Why would you both go behind my back?

Some people just cannae take a compliment.

He's dangerous, Shelley. You do the same as me and Frankie.

You keep your head down.

-Why don't we go for lunch?

-All right, then.

I'll see you there.

-Hoi!

-You should keep your nose out.

You should keep your paws off!

Once you get her in the bedroom, she's hardly a lady at all.

Come here, you!