07/02/2012 River City

How long am I going to be closed for?

Could be a couple of weeks.

A couple of weeks?!

Well, you can't stay open if you're riddled with mice.

I'm detaining you under Section 14 of the Criminal Procedure Act 1995.

You're not obliged to say anything, but anything you do say may be used in evidence.

-He's intent on putting me in the jail.

-What for?

-This thing at the health centre?

-Receiving stolen data. What would I want with that?

-The guy last night....

-There was no guy last night, remember?

I'm sorry, Frances, but there are matters of a confidential nature

I need to discuss with Lenny on his own.

Lenny and I don't have secrets.

Frances, there is a brief and client protocol which needs to be respected.

-Oh, Hamish, drop the Rumpole routine. I need to see him.

-Perhaps once we are finished.

-I'm the one backing Lenny's statement, remember?

-Be that as it may...

I know Terry, he'll no' blab.

But if he's in a safe house

and isolated, the cops could really lean on him.

Terry's been there, he's done it. They're not gonnae scare him.

How d'you know he's in a safe house?

I don't. It's just, is that not what they do with key witnesses?

-He's not a witness, is he, remember?

-Lenny, I didn't mean anything by it, I just...

Sorry, sorry. You're not the enemy.

-It's OK. I know you're under pressure.

-I think it's a racing certainty he is in a safe house.

My contacts tell me he's definitely not down the station.

They're cooking something up.

I wish I could share your confidence in Terry.

-Does all that money I pay you ever buy me some positive thinking?

-What it buys you is due diligence.

We need to come up with a plan in case he does sing for his supper.

-If he does, it'll be his last supper.

-I've already prepared a dossier on his past

which would clearly undermine his credibility as a witness.

It includes several misdemeanours that even the police don't know about.

I could give you more of them. Are they not gonnae expect that? Is dirt on him gonnae be enough?

It would all come down to the attitude of the judge to a plea bargaining witness.

On the plus side, a lot of them do frown upon it,

they see their evidence as necessarily biased.

Yeah, to say the least.

But our ace, undoubtedly, is your corroboration

and your credibility as a witness.

Sorry about putting you in the middle, but listen, I'll not forget this.

Unless, of course, there are any skeletons in your own cupboard?

Skeletons?

It's like the catacombs.

Terry, this is not smart.

Retracting your statement about Lenny Murdoch

-doesn't dig you out of a hole.

-PHONE RINGS

I'll say it again. This has got nothing to do with Lenny.

-ANSWERPHONE:

-'This is DI Donald. Please leave your name and number

'and any message after the tone. Thank you.'

Hi, it's me. We need to meet as soon as possible. Call me.

You have to understand, we've got Murdoch where we want him.

Don't let yourself go down with him.

Obviously I need to remind you what you're facing.

You're looking at 10 to 15 for armed robbery.

What? Armed robbery? Where'd that come from? I never used a shooter.

-You had an illegal gun in your possession.

-It was in the car!

It will amount to the same thing in the eyes of the fiscal.

Yeah, especially when it turned out I left it at the scene of crime, eh?

But that would be manufacturing evidence.

It's not even my gun.

-Whose is it, then?

-I can't remember.

Well, Terry, your memory loss is about to cost you dear.

You could be looking at a 20 stretch

once your other convictions are taken into account.

You really want to take the fall for Lenny Murdoch?

Well, I think I can declare the basement a mouse-free zone,

-but the spiders are having a field day.

-What?

I'm joking.

Yeah, well, don't. I'm not in the mood.

Gina, you'll wear a hole in that.

I'm not gonnae give this environmental health guy any excuse to find fault.

-I want this whole place spotless.

-It always is.

Yeah, and they still shut us down.

It'll be fine.

It won't be fine, not until we get paying customers through the door.

Och, I'm worried sick.

All the money we've lost, and there's still bills needing paid.

One step at a time. Let's get this council jobsworth out the way first.

TV: 'You can't just go out the front and play.

'It's too wet. It's constantly raining.'

What you doing?

Nae cold feet?

Do you really need to ask me that?

Well, you've been down this road before.

Look, Stella, I'm telling you, for me, this is it.

For better or worse?

It's only gonnae be better.

I love you.

Aye, well, that's handy, in't it?

-Seein' as we're gettin' married, because if you didnae...

-Shut up!

I love you too.

You better.

Here.

-You sure you're all right with keeping this whole thing a secret?

-Course I am.

And not telling your ma?

Definitely not telling my ma.

OK, so, witnesses?

Right, well, I was thinking,

I'm probably gonnae ask Deek to be my best man and witness.

-You all right with that?

-Of course I am. Is he gonnae be?

Aye! Why not?

Right, well, I'm gonnae ask Gabriel.

Right.

What?

No, nothing, I was just thinking maybe you were gonnae ask

one of the lassies, like Iona or something.

I thought you wanted to keep this thing a secret?

Aye, right enough.

Morning, Mr...?

Urquhart. Nigel Urquhart.

Murray Crozier.

You the owner?

No, that'll be me. Gina Hamilton.

-Pleasure.

-Likewise.

The basement?

Door's through the back. I'll take you down.

That won't be necessary. I conduct inspections alone.

Let's hope you get a result.

Why are you here?

Gina, let's not...

Well, I just thought I could help, if...

What, stick your nose in my business again?

I do have some influence over the council, you know.

Oh, I know. That's how you got me shut down in the first place.

-Gina, please...

-For heaven's sake, do I have to listen to this all over again?

No, not at all. You could leave right now.

I'm sure you've got plenty of customers over there waiting for their coffee.

The Oyster was closed down. Who wouldn't exploit that?

Someone with a conscience, a moral compass, maybe?

Enough! Eileen, I don't think your presence here is helping matters.

I know when I'm not wanted.

No, you don't, actually. Which is the whole problem!

-How dare you talk to me like I'm...?

-Eileen! Go, now!

What?

Diplomacy isn't really your strong point these days, is it?

You're saying I'm as bad as her?

There's no Punch without Judy.

I don't believe you!

When have I ever done the dirty on her? Eh? Tell me!

Look, we both know Eileen was born devoid of the tact gene,

but I don't think she's as calculating as you're making out, that's all.

Yeah? Well, thanks a bunch for all your support(!)

Well?

-It was never a good deal.

-It's the best you're gonnae get.

It won't be on the table for long.

The fiscal's breathing down my neck.

He wants a cast-iron conviction, not a plea bargain.

My life would be over.

So you'd rather spend 20 years in prison

than go on to the witness protection programme?

What kind of life would it be?

DONALD CHUCKLES

Granted, there wouldn't be the rush of being a big shot in Shieldinch,

but I think most people could cope with that.

I've got friends, family.

Family, you can take with you, within reason.

Friends, well, let's face it.

If you grass, they're not gonnae be your friends any more,

-and if you don't, you'll never see them anyway.

-That's not funny.

Who's trying to be funny?

I'm laying it on the line for you here, Terry.

You correct your faulty recall

and you get what he won't for a very long time. Freedom.

What you're offering's just another kind of prison.

Crap food, slopping out, banged up for 19 hours a day

in a 10 x 6 cell with three other guys. You'd prefer that?

I don't expect you to understand, but there is a code of honour.

It's actually quite touching that you could believe that.

Do you seriously believe that Lenny Murdoch

would hesitate for even a millisecond

to dump on you if it meant swerving the jail?

You don't know Lenny. He respects loyalty.

Well, no doubt he expects your loyalty. Why should you give him it?

Because he'd look after my family, no question.

So what? So he bungs your wife a few quid for the first year you're in prison.

That's nothing to him - peanuts.

I guarantee you it won't go beyond that.

You'll get quietly forgotten about,

and your wife and kids will struggle to survive.

Come on, Terry. It's a no-brainer, mate.

Do this thing for your family.

Right. What is so important? Is the garage bothering you again?

No. The garage is cool. It's not that.

Look, I've got something I want to ask you.

Stella and me, we're gonna get married next week, in secret.

Oh, right.

"Congratulations, Bob. That's brilliant news."

No, sorry, it's just I wasn't expecting that.

Erm, congratulations. That's fantastic, really.

Well, I'm glad you think so, because I want you to be my best man.

Bob, you remember what happened last time? I'd be a Jonah!

Look, Charley might have walked, but you know the real story there.

And, Deek, it meant an awful lot to me,

you being my best man then, and it still would now.

I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm thinking. I would be honoured.

Come here.

You're a lucky guy.

Oh, come on, nae greetin'. Save that for the wedding.

I've been working on my speech as well.

-Maybe you could have a wee look at that for me?

-Aye, sure.

And we were thinking, if it's all right with you,

we could set something up here at the community centre,

make out that it's a Valentine's night bash, invite all the friends and family.

-You'll help me organise that, eh?

-Absolutely.

And when that's up and running and everybody's here,

we'll waltz in, "Da-da! We're married!"

Who else is gonnae know about it?

Nobody, really, apart from Gabriel. Stella wants him to be a witness.

OK. But why the secrecy?

We just want to have a quiet wedding and then have a big party.

It'll be brilliant!

And so with the improvements you've made,

it's within my scope to grant you a temporary licence to re-open.

Temporary?

More substantial works will have to be undertaken within the next three months,

and then we can look again at extending your licence.

What do you mean by more substantial?

Well, the reason that vermin obtained access to your basement in the first place

was due to subsidence,

so permanent remedial work will have to be undertaken.

What kind of remedial work?

The standard procedure is that deep holes are drilled at an angle

on the pavement outside and in the backcourts to go right under the foundations.

Concrete is then pumped in to fill the boreholes.

You're kidding me? That's gonnae cost thousands!

Possibly, but if you want your cafe to stay open, suffice to say,

it's your only option.

Maybe we can make a claim on the insurance.

Oh, no, no, the insurance companies got wise to that one 30 years ago.

It's the old mine workings. Shieldinch is riddled with them.

No, you'll find in your insurance claim, there'll be an exception.

Guaranteed. Good morning.

Wait a minute, you. You can't...

Thank you, Mr Urquhart. Let me get the door for you.

-MOCKING TONE:

-"Thank you. Let me get the door for you."

Why are you being so nice to that wee creep?

-Someone had to. I thought you were gonna stab him.

-I certainly felt like it.

C'mon, it's not his fault.

That's right, he's only following orders.

We need to keep him onside for the next inspection.

How are we going to afford to pay for all this?

We've got to get this place open for business, that's the first step.

-Want me to phone Stella?

-Yeah, get her in.

Stella? Good news.

Yep. We're open.

You need to cut Lenny some slack.

-Run that past me again.

-I'm serious.

Why would I do that? Cut HIM some slack?

I'm just beginning to understand how he operates

and I'll have a whole lot more on him soon, but I need time. Just lay off him for a while.

I admire your dedication, but I've got Lenny just where I want him.

What do you mean? Did Terry talk?

We chewed the fat for a bit.

So, he's going to testify against him?

-I'm really not at liberty to say.

-Come on, we're collaborators.

Well, we seem to be collaborators when it suits you?

OK, fair comment.

But I don't think you appreciate how hard this has been for me.

I do appreciate it. Really, I do.

All I can say is, I've sent a report to the fiscal.

-Did he implicate Lenny?

-Frances.

This affects me too. I have to know where I stand.

Look, it was smart of you to stand up for Lenny in public like that

but now's the time to change your statement

and let the law take its course.

Agreed?

Why would anyone agree to put themselves in danger?

-Lenny will be in jail.

-Oh, c'mon! We both know that'll make no difference!

-You'll get protection.

-I'm the one in the lose-lose situation here

and you couldn't care less.

No, that's wrong. I... I do care about you.

You know I do.

That is not the same thing as caring for me.

-I'm really sorry about before.

-Save it!

It's a bit late to be coming over all noble, is it not?

Look, it's simple. You change your statement

and I'll make sure you don't have to testify in court.

That way, your betrayal, if that's what it is, never gets made public.

So, you set me up as Lenny's number one enemy

-and I'm supposed to be grateful?

-I won't let him harm you.

I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but I'm beginning to get it.

Terry's evidence won't hold up against my statement.

You don't know what he's going to say.

Terry's a convicted criminal and anyone with sense would see

it as incriminating Lenny to save his own neck.

I've got more than enough on Lenny, don't worry.

Your original statement would be a hindrance,

but a hindrance I could do without.

You do want to see Lenny go to jail, don't you?

Why not just save yourself a lot of grief and agree to this?

Sorry, this hindrance is not willing to be the sacrificial lamb.

Oh, come on, Frances! I need an answer.

You can go screw yourself.

There you go, son.

Cheers, Raymond.

This is the time of year winter feels really long, isn't it?

You're right, wee man. When's it ever gonna stop raining?

So, I was just wondering what you were all up to on the 14th?

The 14th? Do you want to be my Valentine?

Good. That'll save me the bother. Load of commercial nonsense.

Malcolm, don't be such a curmudgeon.

I was only saying.

Go on, dear.

Me and Deek are trying to organise a night at the community centre.

Kick off some of the winter blues, you know what I mean?

And I was trying to come up with a list of friends

and family that might be interested in coming along.

Oh, what a lovely idea!

That's great! I'll help you out if you need anything.

-Aye, cheers mate.

-Wait a minute. Are you not taking Stella out for Valentine's?

Aye... well, this... this would be us going out.

To a community centre on a wet Tuesday night in February?

And they say romance is dead.

Just ignore that pair. So, what's afoot?

Eh?

Your plans for the night? What's to happen?

Oh right, aye...

Me and Deek, we were trying to organise a...

a charity quiz night.

Excellent! Based on Saint Valentine?

Aye, oh, aye. Definitely.

Great lovers of history, that sort of thing?

Dante and Beatrice, Antony and Cleopatra...

Colin and Justin.

Nero and Zero.

-Fran and Anna.

-Lord Nelson and Lady Hamilton.

Aye, that's it.

I'm sure you've lots of ideas,

but I could maybe help you make up the questions.

-Good, I can cheat.

-Magic. Thanks, Liz.

Laurel and Hardy.

Richard and Judy.

Mike and Bernie Winters.

Me and Eileen. Tam and Michelle.

Oh, naw!

Any news from Hamish?

No. No news is good news, I reckon. Terry's not let me down.

Lenny, you know, maybe you should get out now, while you still can.

Steady. They're gonna have to be good to catch me, and they're not that good.

I've got a bad feeling.

-I'm worried the net is closing, and you won't be able to escape.

-The net?

You think the polis are like the ones you see on the telly?

Always get their man? Well, they don't.

They're numpties, most of them. Anyway, where am I gonnae go?

-Spain?

-What? And spend the rest of my days with a bunch of perma-tanned,

-cockney wide boys in Malaga?

-It's better than prison.

Barlinnie's not got the beaches, but I heard Tommy Sheridan still managed to get a sunbed in there!

Lenny, I'm worried.

I know, I know, sorry. Look, what you've got to understand here.

My family are lost to me, all I've got left is my grandson.

I cannae walk away from that.

You're tense.

Sorry, look, I'm no use to you here.

I'm gonna go, take a walk, try and clear my head.

-OK. I'll keep you posted.

-Thanks.

Deek! Great idea about the quiz night!

Good to see you and Bob showing some initiative with the community centre.

-No bother.

-It's a great example! Well done!

Quiz night?

Picking up?

Yeah, we're run off our feet(!)

C'mon, it's a start.

Two teas and a doughnut between them. Sure, we're raking it in(!)

Gina, I went to pay the gas bill from our joint account,

but there was no money there. Did you...?

-I moved it into the Oyster account.

-Why? We need money in the joint account.

We need it more in the Oyster.

Have you forgotten what that weasel from the council said?

No. But do you not think you should've consulted me first?

D'you not want to help me save the Oyster?

Are you being deliberately provocative? Of course I want to save the Oyster.

Well, where's your game plan then?

We'll talk about this later.

What I did I tell you from the very start?

What did I tell you?

Not to cut a deal with a cop.

So, do you regret it?

Yes.

-Was I right?

-Yes.

And now you want my advice.

Lenny's about to be arrested for robbery

and my statement is the only thing that can stop it.

So what's the problem? The statement won't stand up?

It can't.

Donald wants me to change it or be exposed in open court.

You must have been swapped in the maternity ward,

because I couldn't have spawned anybody as stupid as you.

Yeah, sarcasm's easy. You want a result?

Help me to find a solution.

There's only one thing for it.

What's that?

If Lenny's about to slip from our grasp, we have no option.

What do you mean?

You need to kill him now.

You're joking!

No. No! I will not commit murder for you.

Not for me, for your brother.

No! It's not happening.

Then how are you going to keep him out of jail?

I need a drink.

Make mine a double.

-Hiya, Bob!

-All right?

Look, Stella, a regular.

See? Word's spreading.

It's great you're open again, Gina. We all missed the Oyster.

-Och, another!

-Thankfully. I can get a decent coffee at last!

The stuff they serve in the Ship is rubbish.

Oh, Deek. Two cappuccinos coming up, and they're on the house!

-Nae chance! They're paying.

-Cheers.

So, quiz night?

I know. It's not my idea.

I was ambushed by Liz, you know what she's like.

But we'll need to go along with it now.

At least it gets everybody in the same place,

and that's the main thing, isn't it?

Bob, is this whole thing not just a wee bit daft?

Why not just tell folk?

I already told you, I've promised Stella we'll keep it secret.

So what's this quiz all about?

It's a Valentine's special. Great lovers of history.

-You are kidding me on.

-No.

-Liz's idea?

-Aye.

-Is everything all right?

-Yeah.

By the way, congratulations.

-Cheers. You're up for it, then?

-Up for what?

Eh...a Valentine's charity quiz night at the community centre.

Lovers of history!

You know, like Dante and Cleopatra,

an' Napoleon and Beatrice.

It'll be brilliant!

Aye, amazin'!

You lot really should get out more.

Too much tonic.

So, why the reluctance to get rid of him?

-I couldn't kill anyone.

-Bring him here, I'll do it.

Oh, yeah, great. Perfect solution(!)

I'm serious. I'll be dead soon anyway.

-I've got nothing to lose.

-You're not being helpful.

-He'll have a weakness.

-Who?

Your cop.

Use it. It worked with Lenny.

Absolutely not!

He's tried it on with you?

Then don't hesitate.

He's yours for the taking.

Look, don't get me wrong, I'm delighted to be asked,

but is there not somebody else out there, more suitable than me?

Like who?

Well, I don't know, should you not have a best maid or something?

Gabriel, you saved my life.

OK, I get it.

Look, just because of that, don't feel obliged.

No, I don't, and it's not just that anyway.

Ever since you came here, you've been a pal.

-And you didn't judge me.

-That's no big deal.

It is to me, a lot of people did, and a lot of people still do,

given my past and all that. And I want to pay you back.

All right. All right. I'm in. I'm not wearing a dress mind!

So what about the reception? You got anything sorted?

You're no' gonna believe this.

-Hi.

-Hello, stranger.

Thought I'd check my appointments.

You've got a couple, but if it carries on like this, I don't know...

-Sorry?

-Look, Frances, I need to think of the bigger picture.

You're an excellent stylist, but your cancellations aren't good for the salon.

It's just been this week and I'll be giving all those people a discount when they re-book.

-Is this to do with Lenny?

-I can't say.

Frances, you need to be careful.

-In what respect?

-The police could come after you next.

-And why would they do that?

-Look, Lenny Murdoch contaminates everything and everyone he touches.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Frances, I'm trying to help you.

No, you're trying to lecture me. I'm a big girl.

Butt out!

-Hiya. What a result, eh?

-Result?

Word is, Lenny's going down this time.

Has it escaped your notice that Lenny and I are in a relationship?

He's turned your head but that's what he's good at.

Pretty soon you're gonnae realise you're better off without him, believe me.

How is it all the women round here seem to know what's good for me?

-Well, let's face it, it's not hard to see what your problem is.

-Mind your own business!

Don't say I didnae warn you!

-Closed up?

-No, left Stella in charge.

-Had to get away from the crowds for a while.

-Still quiet?

That 2-for-1 at the Ship.

I know. It's not fair.

Oh, yeah? I thought Eileen wasn't as calculating as I was making her out to be?

What you doing?

I'm going through the Oyster's accounts.

-Why?

-I'm trying to assess its viability.

You're trying to...?

Since when did you become Alan Sugar?

You're the one that asked me if I had a game plan.

So, Sir Alan, how is our viability?

You know I've got money put away.

I was trying to work out if it was worthwhile putting it into the cafe.

Is that right?

Looking at these figures, it just wouldn't be a sound investment.

I've got to think about my future.

-YOUR future?

-Sorry...

OUR future.

Unless you increase turnover drastically,

you're gonnae have to think about

selling up.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Well, thank you for that stunning financial insight(!)

A small, female brain like mine

could never have come up with that one!

That's not fair.

You know, I must have imagined

I was running a successful business for years

before Murray Trump turned up!

See when I think of all the crap I had to put up with

with that stupid son of yours and his get-rich-quick schemes!

Here, why did you never apply your financial wizardry to that dope?

I can't win with you!

You ask me to help, I try, and I get dog's abuse.

Well, you deserve it!

How dare you look at my accounts without my permission?!

Your permission?

Yes! My permission! These don't belong to you, Murray!

And another thing, you'll get every penny back from that joint account.

Oh, for God's sake, Gina, now you're just being stupid.

I won't be in your debt, Murray, don't you worry about that!

Will you not think of at least getting out of Glasgow

until we know what's happening?

You're the one who needs to take care.

-How do you mean?

-That statement. You gonnae persist with it?

Of course I am.

If they've got anything on me, it leaves you out in the open.

That's a risk I'm willing to take.

There's no reason for both of us to go down.

I appreciate your concern, but you won't change my mind.

DOORBELL RINGS

MOBILE RINGS

'DI Donald's being very cagey. He wouldn't tell me what these "new developments" are

'but he'll have to, before we get to the station.'

-You reckon Terry's let us down?

-I think it's the most likely...

Carry on.

I do think it's the most likely scenario.

Exactly what he has said, we'll find out in due course.

What's happened?

Lenny's been asked to report to the station at Mossgreen for questioning by 7pm.

They must be closing that net you were talking about?

-Oh, Lenny...

-Ach, well. At least the waiting's over.

Now, Lenny, there's a few options we have to discuss here, and, I'm sorry,

but I must insist we do this alone.

All right, Hamish. Keep your hair on.

Oops, too late!

Lenny, I'm worried.

I know you say they're idiots, but...this isn't looking good.

Look, you've not been through this before, I have.

I can go head to head with Donald.

But if Terry's testifying, you can't do this without my statement,

can you?

Look, I'm sorry it's came to this.

Don't worry...

..I won't let you down.

Stella, darlin', away you go.

What, you shutting early?

Might as well.

Things can only get better, eh?

They will, Gina.

Listen, I'm kinda thinking, maybe you don't need me the now?

It'd be a saving, till you get back on your feet again.

Thanks, pet. But I've not got to that stage yet.

Aye, you have.

You don't need to pretend with me.

I feel rotten. Why should you suffer?

I'm not suffering. You're the one that's got the trouble and that,

and I want to help you out.

Thanks.

It will work out.

There you go.

Cheers, Raymond.

You know, you can spot it a mile off.

What's that?

A man on the end of a doing from his own true love.

Is it that obvious?

Well, many's the time I've studied the mirror,

checking out the worry lines Eileen had heaped on my poor old fizzog.

I can see the tell-tale signs.

Am I right, or am I right?

I know you're just trying to cheer me up,

but it's more than a tiff this time.

I know about the report.

I understand the strain that puts you both under.

And see this two-for-one coffee deal here?

Tell Gina I'm gonna put the kibosh on that.

Eileen agree?

She will when I tell her.

Anyway, I think the Oyster troubles are just a smokescreen, really.

For what?

For the fact that Gina can barely tolerate me at times.

I know that feeling.

Murray, I know I was joking earlier on, but Gina?

She's a gem, full stop.

I know she is.

And you've come through worse and survived.

Yeah, but the Jack business,

maybe I just conveniently ignored what that meant.

Which was?

That our relationship is fundamentally flawed

and I can't face up to it.

Look, Murray, when you're going through a hard time,

seems like everything's against you,

but you'll come out the other side, I know you will.

What? Like you and Eileen?

Sorry, that was low.

Forget it. No offence taken.

Look, you want another one?

Aye, why not?

See? My counselling may be crap,

but my service is good.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

Well?

I'm changing my statement.

Thank you.

I'm glad you didn't force my hand.

Despite what I said earlier, I didn't want to go down that road.

But, I'm scared, really scared.

I told you. I will do everything in my power to protect you.

For ever? Lenny Murdoch won't mind playing the long game.

And he wouldn't be dirtying his own hands anyway. So how do I, or you,

get around that?

I can make this happen.

I'm doing it for Terry and I can do it for you.

What? Witness protection?

But that means relocating, doesn't it?

Another new identity? And I'd be on my own.

I don't know if I've got the stomach for that.

This is a mess!

You have to hang on to the fact that you have succeeded.

Lenny is going to prison.

I'm not sure it's been worth it.

I feel cheap,

-used...

-You are not cheap, don't ever say that.

You have no idea how hard this has been,

with that man's hands all over me.

I'm the one who's used you, and for that I am genuinely sorry.

But I'll make amends, I'll look after you...

-How...?

-I'd come with you.

What?

I'd come with you.

I can request a transfer to another force.

I don't understand...

Vivien...

I'm in love with you.

Tell me now if there's any possibility that you share my feelings?

Right, I'm calling the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre committee meeting to order.

No need to rub it in.

I'd say there is.

Listen, we're gonna use this to our advantage.

It gives us an excuse to decorate the hall, for starters.

I've still got a wad of Valentine stuff from the old pop-up shop.

What about grub?

Free packet of Love Hearts for every contestant?

You know what, I'll deal with that.

Call that my wedding present to you.

I was thinking three types of pakora and chips and curry sauce

to be there for what, half-nine?

-Magic!

-Nice one! What about music but?

I've got a mate with some decks, he'll maybe DJ it, too.

We just need to sneak him in the back.

I'm starting to look forward to this.

Oh, thanks!

Raymondo! What about a keg of lager for Tuesday night?

For a quiz night?

C'mon, a wee bit of winter cheer and all proceeds to charity.

Fair dos.

Right, now for the hard bit.

What?

The quiz questions. We still need to keep up the pretence, don't we?

-Sorted, I've already given her a call.

-Who?

Here she comes, meet your quiz inquisitor!

Ah, Bob, there you are! I've been at the library

all afternoon!

And I've got some fascinating material to go over with you!

We'll, er...we'll leave you to it.

Thank you.

-Thanks a lot.

-No sweat, wee man.

I was thinking, we should divide questions into four periods.

Antiquity, The Renaissance, The Romantic Period

and the Modern Era. What do you think?

Aye, sounds great.

Magnus Magnusson, she isn't.

First thing we'll do is take your new statement.

You'll have to come down to the station...

Frances?

Vivien?

Urgent letter?

What you doing?

Just sending something to my bank for safekeeping.

What?

A little skin flick.

Need to make sure it doesn't end up on YouTube.

You taped us?

How will that go down with your superintendent?

-You're sick.

-Will it affect your chances of promotion, do you think?

-What do you want?

-Do I have to spell it out?

Get Terry to drop his testimony on Lenny.

I can't do that. We've already offered a plea bargain.

You'll find a way. I have faith in you.

Be reasonable!

I'm meeting the fiscal in the morning to go over the details.

So, Terry changed his mind, told you to shove it, isn't that right?

-Why would you do this for Murdoch?

-You're hurting me!

-Why?

Because I'm in love with him.

You...

you can't love him!

Put this in motion, or I'll be paying a visit to my bank in the morning.

D'you want to come in?

Oh, yes, and then I thought

we might have a, "Who was it said what of whom?" section.

Right.

You know the kind of thing?

For instance, "Who was it said,

"'He's mad, bad and dangerous to know', of whom?"

Eh... Noel Gallagher about Liam?

No, Silly Billy!

It was Lady Caroline Lamb about Lord Byron, of course.

Oh, aye, so it was.

Poor Bob.

It is funny but.

Listen, I didn't have the chance earlier.

-I just wanted to say I'm really happy for you and Bob.

-Thanks, Deek.

I really appreciate that.

And it's great that you agreed to be his best man. He's chuffed to bits.

Well, I'm not going to pretend that I'll find it easy...

I know.

But Bob's been there for me a million times,

so there's no way I'd let him down now.

Right, so why are you not there for him now then?

Well, because I'm enjoying watching him suffer too much.

What about the stuff that Cheryl said about Ashley Cole?

Cheryl Cole, I know who that is, but Ashley Cole, who's she?

She? No, no, he. He's a football player.

Oh. A football player.

I don't imagine he'd have very much to say, do you?

Brandy all right?

Perfect.

I had to steal it out the first-aid box.

-Thank you.

-So, What on earth was all that about?

I've got myself in a situation, and I...

Look, I'm sorry, forget it.

You don't have to tell me anything.

You still seeing Lenny Murdoch, then?

You're not going to warn me off as well, are you?

Me, no. When it comes to men, I'm hardly qualified.

Wish all the other women in Shieldinch felt that way.

You been getting tons of advice?

And then some.

Listen...er...

Could I ask you to forget about what you saw out there tonight?

Sure.

So the cafe's opened up again?

Yeah, the mice have scarpered, but I've been left

with a whole lot of remedial work to do in the basement.

That's what I've been doing, trying to work out how I can afford it.

I'm at my wit's end.

I thought the Oyster was a good going concern?

Och, the margins get tighter every year.

And that close-down, well, it just pushed us to our limits.

What about a bank loan?

Haven't you heard? The bankers need all their money for their bonuses.

Have you ever thought about taking on a partner?

-Why? You interested?

-No, but I'd like to help you out.

And what are you? My fairy godmother?

-You got any more of this?

-Sure.

BREAKING GLASS AND ALARM

-SHE SCREAMS

-Hey! Hey! Take it easy!

Take it easy! It's only me.

-Oh, Lenny! You gave me such a fright!

-Oh, come on, you're all right.

What are you doing here? What happened at the police station?

Me and Hamish pitched up as instructed,

sat about for an hour, there was no sign of Donald,

then the big desk sergeant, came out and told us we should go.

-Did they give a reason?

-No, c'mon, that would've shown manners.

Hamish tried to press him on it,

but in actual fact, I don't think the big dumplin' knew why.

-What do you think?

-I think, I think that Terry done the honourable thing

and fell on his sword.

Hamish reckons that Donald was bluffing,

trying to force us into taking a plea.

I told you, numpty-ville.

Hey, this is a good thing.

I'm sorry. It's just been a difficult day.

I guess you're just not cut out for this cloak-and-dagger malarkey.

I guess not.

C'mon. Let's go get a drink to celebrate?

For you, that was clever.

So where's the video?

I posted it to my bank.

Mmmm... Maybe you weren't swapped at birth after all.

I'm not so sure about that.

And how's lover boy? Not the cop, the gangster.

It's confusing, isn't it?

He's quite pleased with himself right now, as you can imagine.

Do you think your cop will shop you with Lenny?

-He can't, or his career's over.

-Will he get in the way though?

If you'd seen the look on his face last night,

-you'd know he wasn't coming back.

-Oh, the fickleness of women, eh?

Well, we're back on track.

Good!

No, not good.

Why's that?

Wracked with guilt and remorse, are we?

I feel like a cheap tart.

You'll get over it.

I'm not like you! I'm not made of stone!

I have feelings, normal, human feelings.

Have you any idea how ridiculous you sound?

"I've got feelings, normal, human feelings"!

You knew what you were getting into.

This is war, and in war you have to be willing to do anything to win.

I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.

Are you listening to me?

Can I just remind you your brother doesn't have any choices,

good or bad.

He doesn't have the luxury of your selfish moral dilemma.

Why? Because he's dead! Dead! And that scumbag Murdoch is responsible.

So, give it up with the whining and feeling sorry for yourself

and get bloody well on with it!

The sooner you deal with him,

the sooner you can get back to putting it out for guys you do like.

All right, my petal?

-Can you believe that?

-He wasn't charged?

-No, Jimmy says Lenny's been boasting about it this morning.

He's walked away, scot free. That swine's got nine lives.

-Well, maybe that'll not be the end of it.

-Let's hope so,

but I was talking to that Frances yesterday

and I reckon she knows more than she was telling.

-I wouldn't be surprised if it had something to do with her.

-That's what he's got lawyers for.

You should have heard the mouthful she gave me when I criticised her precious Lenny.

Well, she would defend him, wouldn't she?

Exactly, and what does that tell you about her?

She's got bad taste in men? I dunno.

-She was in here yesterday, and we got talking.

-Why?

About Lenny?

No, no, just stuff.

She was being all nice.

-Nice? Are you daft?

-I must be.

I need to pick up Madonna from nursery, see you later.

-I take it I'm the talk of the steamie.

-Something like that. What you wanting?

Espresso, to go.

-Good to see you opened up again.

-Yeah.

A cafe like this, it's a part of the community.

A focal point, a comfort zone, if you like.

Yeah, well, this particular comfort zone

could be doing with a few more customers.

-Oh, I'm sure it'll pick up.

-It better.

Listen, if you need any help, just let me know.

-Help?

-If it's getting too much for you,

and you're looking for a buyer, I'd be in the market.

Course, you could still run the place.

-What, you mean work for you?

-Well, more like partners.

Did Frances...?

All she said was you were having a problem with the council.

Like I say, if you want, maybe we could talk business.

-I don't think so.

-That's OK, no answer required immediately.

One wee bit of advice about this guy in the council.

I tend to find a bit of cash spread about the right place,

-smooths things over.

-I don't think so in this case, he was your ultimate jobsworth.

What was his name?

Urquhart.

Nigel Urquhart. Environmental Health Department.

I'll ask around about him. See what's what.

Remember, this is a genuine offer.

You want a buyer, you know where to come.

Right.

-Well, hello!

-I was just up at the flat looking for you.

-Just been round at the Oyster.

-How did you get on?

Let's just say, my reputation preceded me.

Give her time. She'll come round.

Ah, I dunno if I can see myself owning a cafe.

I can just see you as an Italian barista. That haughty, bored look.

I could do the bored look right enough.

Listen you fancy going uptown later for lunch?

What, big decision?

Sorry...

..I was just thinking about what I had on today.

Yeah, that would be lovely.

-Good, see you at the office about one.

-Sure.

What the hell do you think you're doing? Are you mad?

Get off the street!

What about Lenny? Shouldn't we ask him along too?

I mean, we're all in this together, aren't we?

I suppose this is your stupid idea of revenge, is it?

I thought long and hard about what happened last night.

So long that Lenny was back on the street by eight.

I'd say that was saving your own neck.

Yeah, partly, but I also did that to help you.

-Oh, yeah?

-I was thinking,

what would drive someone to demean themselves like that?

-Were you?

-I don't think you're doing this of your own free will.

You are so ridiculous.

You don't want to share a bed with Lenny Murdoch.

I should be saving myself for you?

I know this must be tearing you up inside.

You know?

He's rotten, to the core.

Just like me, so I guess that makes us a perfect match.

I suppose you've convinced yourself of that by now, but it's not true.

You know it's not true. That's not who you are.

And who am I?

You are someone who, in grief, was persuaded that avenging your brother

was your sole purpose in life.

-You think I don't want to avenge my brother? You're wrong.

-But not like your mother does.

I think you'd have been content to see Lenny banged up

for a long time, but that's not enough for your mother.

You're full of crap.

Remember that day I followed you to the care home?

I watched you when you came out.

You looked sick to your stomach, like you'd made

a pact with the devil.

And your point is?

You have to realise that neither your mother, nor Lenny Murdoch,

can control your life.

Vivien, I stood out there in full view to show you,

you don't have to be afraid.

Oh, yeah?

What about all that rubbish about you and me

-and the witness protection programme?

-That's what I mean.

You convinced yourself, and me for while, I have to say,

that Lenny Murdoch's this all-powerful being.

It's ridiculous. He can't harm you.

All you have to do is call him on it. I'm telling you.

-And what if I don't want to?

-You do.

Forget about me and my feelings for you.

They're irrelevant.

True.

This is just you trying to get around my little film, isn't it?

No, this is me trying to help you.

How stupid do you think I am?

How did you...?

A court order gave me access to your bank accounts

and any papers held in the bank.

I'm in the middle of an investigation, it's standard stuff.

Go on, take it. It's unopened.

The memory card's still inside.

Why are you doing this?

To show you you have choices. Choose wisely.

As far as the Oyster's concerned,

I'm the one that makes the decisions.

Well, maybe if you actually made some, we'd all back off.

-A week away might do you good.

-Forget Stevie.

You don't fall out of love with someone cos you go on a trip for a few days.

-Me and Bob are getting married.

-So you've set a date.

-Half-two.

There's a "For Sale" sign on the Oyster. If he sees that he's gonnae think I'm playing him.

-Lenny just wants to spend time with his grandson.

-So he can screw him up, like his own weans?

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