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Why don't you let me call the police?
Are you going to call them yourself?
-Whoever did this to you, they shouldn't get away with it.
Are we done here?
What does it look like?
Are you asking me to marry you?
Oh, you're quick on the uptake.
Detective Constable Cooper, Ms McCrone reported that you were attacked last night.
-When she said...
Are you ready for my big night?
Have you got any news yet, dates for the trial?
Actually, I'm on another case now so...
Meanwhile he's in fear of his life?
Er, strike that from the record M'Lud. I am fine and dandy.
But I don't want that to happen to anybody else.
Me too. But it's with the Fiscal now.
-As soon as they get a date, they'll send you a letter.
Let me see what I can find out.
I'll text you with any news once I'm off shift.
Great. Thank you
Come on, Robbie. we've got a Hen to go to.
Here we go, Malcolm.
Has everybody got drinks in?
A toast. To Malcolm.
There's no fool like an old fool!
Hey - less of the "old"! Cheers!
-A bottle of Cava to carry-out thanks.
Very nice. Special occasion?
It's for Liz's hen do.
God, I know. Why would you even bother at that age? They're only going to peg it.
-Have you not got anything cheaper?
The quicker the mini-market opens up the better.
Any day now apparently.
Although from what I hear it's not the sort of place
that's going to be selling fizz.
Didn't expect to find you here.
I'm just leaving. I know what these stag nights can be like.
I don't think you'll find Malcolm sellotaped to a lamppost in the morning.
-Don't you believe it. C'mon, we're going through the back.
-In a minute.
No, on you go, I need to shoot anyway.
-I'm late as it is.
-I had one.
Well, this is nice.
I wonder how they're getting on at the stag do?
They'll be swinging off the chandeliers.
Oh, no doubt. You know how it gets when alcohol's involved.
I hope for Dad's sake they're being careful.
I thought he was looking tired.
Nonsense, he's fine.
Right, I'll just go and refresh the pot. Do help yourself, ladies.
There's plenty more in the kitchen. I've made far too many.
Let's make our excuses and head up the town.
Nah. I'm not in the mood.
-You need to get back out there again.
-I don't want to.
You're going to die an old spinster.
Suits me. I've been thinking about getting a wee cat...
TEXT ALERT PINGS
The polis. They've got news.
-That was quick!
-I'll find out what's happening.
-I'll come with you.
-No. I need to do this myself.
Besides, we can't both leave. See you later.
-Oh, you leaving already, Robbie?
-Sorry, polis business.
Let's not keep you then. That'll be Stella.
I'll let her in.
Make sure you get some beauty sleep now.
Oh, yes. I intend to.
Hope you've not started without me!
No. I see you've waited.
Sorry. She caught me as I was leaving I couldn't shake her off.
-Hey, that's my ma you're talking about.
-Aye, but it's nothing you wouldn't say yourself!
It's the more the merrier, eh?
I brought a bottle!
We thought we'd just stick to tea.
We don't want any hangovers at the wedding tomorrow.
But thanks for this. I'll pop it into the drink's cabinet.
Save it for a special occasion.
Oh no, no, no!
Come on, Liz, you cannae have a hen night without a wee bevvy!
Here - crack that open.
I'd a bottle of Irish Cream left from Christmas and I just poured some out.
Right, ladies. Let's get this party started!
Bad luck, Gabe. Right, get to that bar. I've got a right drooth on here.
-I've a better idea.
-No welching. The loser buys the round.
There's no need for that. I have brought a wee carry-out.
Bit high-class for you?
Ask no questions, Jimmy? And I'll tell you no lies.
-Aye, I thought as much.
-Let's just say I called a favour in from a pal, right?
Who are you mates with.
It's wet and it's alcoholic. D'you want some or not?
I think I know where it came from. Just watch what you're doing.
Just get it down you.
-Malcolm - fancy a wee one?
-Don't mind if I do.
Just don't tell the publican, eh?
Every man has his price.
That is good stuff.
Nothing but the best for you, Malcolm.
Raymond, thanks, for tonight.
Like the man says. You deserve it.
-I'm a lucky so and so. Good friends. Good family.
-And tomorrow, a good wife.
You know Liz's taking Power of Attorney?
I thought Eileen was doing that?
We didn't want the girls to worry about making any big decisions
when the time comes.
Anything happens - Liz is the boss.
-Better be good to her then.
-Oh, I intend to be.
ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
-She'll never get that in!
-She'll no get that in without gagging!
ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
It's a shame Robbie couldn't make it. He's missing all the fun.
ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
Oh. My God!
That was amazing!
You are amazing!
How the hell did this happen?
I don't know. One minute we were talking trial dates and then...
-Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
-This is so wrong.
-No, it isn't!
-No, this is totally unprofessional.
What? You were great!
I'm serious! I'm not supposed to sleep with victims.
-Is that what you think of me? A victim?
Cos if that was some kind of pity thing...
-Some kind of new-fangled victim support initiative.
Then count me in.
-Are you always like this?
Possibly. What does that mean again?
I give up.
No, give in.
All set for the big day?
Ready as I'll ever be.
Flat white to go, thanks.
Did I miss the zombie invasion?
Nope. They're still here. And taken up residence in his gut.
Good night, though. Malcolm had a good time.
I'll take your word for it.
The last part's a bit of a blank.
You lost 50 quid at pool.
And bagged off with Molly O'Hara on your way home.
Listen, I'm at work all morning so you're in charge.
Anything still need doing for the wedding?
Just need to pick up the flowers and the car.
And a job lot of paracetamol?
If you were any kind of pal you would write me out a prescription.
For that kind of headache, we don't make pills big enough.
See you lunchtime.
-Brown or red?
-On your bacon roll.
No - no bacon. Never mind. We'll go to the Oyster.
I'll show you off. Get your kit on.
Oh. You already have.
-Yeah. I need to go.
-I thought you weren't working until this afternoon?
I'm not. I've just got stuff to do...
-Maybe later then?
-I could meet you in the pub?
I dunno. I think I'm busy.
Yeah. Me too, actually.
See you then.
Oh, you've surfaced, have you?
I think maybe I over did it last night.
As long as you had a good time.
Aye. I did. How did your hen night go?
Oh, very quiet.
Now I think this might be - yes, this is from Jo.
Yes, isn't that lovely? I'll pop it up next to Ruth's.
Aw, very thoughtful. Just a shame they can't be here.
I know, I know, still they're here in spirit.
Talking of which - I've got something for you.
To wear on your dress.
It was Rose's.
I hummed and I hawed
but I think she'd want to be here today in some kind of way.
It just seems right. That's if you don't mind?
Not at all. It's beautiful.
I don't know what to say. I didn't think to give you something.
You've given me the world. And don't you forget it.
So what time did you get in last night?
What's it got to do with you?
I heard you all got steaming.
Listen, it would take more than a couple of Irish Creams to fell me.
You just stick to your homework
and leave the swallying to those that know how to do it properly.
It's not homework. I'm checking out travel deals.
We're going on a family holiday.
Oh, are we?
Not you. Me, Mum and Bob.
Oh, that's very nice, isn't it?
I suppose I'm only family when you need some place to stay!
-What's all this about you jetting off somewhere without me?
No the now, Maw, eh?
Let's get you over to the sofa.
I think a hard chair would be better.
-What's up with him?
I done my back in last night.
Lying in your bed?
Does it matter?
What were you doing in there? The pole vault?
-I so don't need to hear this. I'm going to school.
If you want to make yourself useful, put the kettle on.
Great - now everybody knows that I can't perform my marital duties.
Don't be silly - but maybe next time not so enthusiastic, eh?
If there is a next time. I can't raise my arm let alone anything else.
You just need some rest and some painkillers.
I'll make you an appointment with Dan - he'll give you a prescription. I'll get you some breakfast?
Hey, it's me.
Listen, I don't know if you've forgotten or not
but today's the big day.
So quit with the radio silence - gimme a phone about that car
we spoke about.
Heard of a doorbell?
Liz gave us keys because of dad.
You look even worse than Raymond.
-How's the groom doing?
-Fine. He's getting his stuff together.
Already? Did you not tell him it was too soon?
Sorry. I must have missed the bit in my tenancy agreement that made me
your Dad's keeper.
Anyway, I need to go and get the wedding flowers.
Dad? Dad, are you through there?
I can't find my cuff links.
You don't need to get dressed yet - it's hours till the wedding.
I just want to be organised. What are you after?
I knew that stag do would be too much.
You asked me to go over your vows?
Oh, aye. Where did I put them?
I've got a copy here.
No, no. I wrote new ones this morning.
Here they are.
-What's wrong? Are they too soppy?
No, no. It's not that, it's just - this bit here.
It's not that bit I'm worried about.
No, but you say that Liz is the mother of your children.
Rose was our mum.
I know that. Let me see.
It's just a slip of the pen.
That's the bathroom free. Oh, Eileen.
I didn't expect to see you so early.
-She's just away. We're all done.
-I'll just see you out then.
Then Gabriel pulled out this whisky he'd scored off the back of a lorry.
Is it just whisky he can lay his hands on?
What? The price of absinthe's gone through the roof!
As you were.
Dan, I need to make an appointment for Bob. It's kind of urgent.
OK. I'm full booked for this morning.
I'll see him. Put him down for an "on the day".
Oh, OK. Thanks.
-Ten o'clock OK?
-I'll phone and tell him. Thank you.
Don't mention it.
I'm looking forward to meeting the famous "Big Bob".
I might even find out how he got his nickname.
Or is that just between the two of you?
-How could he get something like that wrong?
-He maybe had more of that whisky than we thought.
Are we out of paracetamol?
Look, it's his wedding day. He's got the jitters.
-It happens to the best of us.
-He had it written down! I saw it with my own eyes.
Thank you for your concern.
Look, he knows full well that Liz isn't your mum.
Maybe this has all gone a bit too fast for him.
He knows what he's doing. They both do.
-I know it's all moving a bit fast but it's hardly shotgun, is it?
They've got the legal stuff sorted. He was telling me last night that Liz's taken Power of Attorney.
I know. Good for her, eh? One less thing for you to worry about.
-What do you think?
-I think this will go OK.
-You got a minute?
-Yeah. What is it?
We've got a problem.
Here we go. One posy, eight buttonholes.
Wonderful. Thank you so much.
Now what time is the wedding car arriving?
I'm just waiting on a call to firm up the details.
I can't wait till he sees it. Malcolm loves a classic car.
It's really very kind of your friend to let us borrow it.
He's that kind of guy.
Right, I reckon you'd need to be here at say quarter to one,
if you've got to come back to pick me up...
I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm fussing again.
I'm sure everything will be fine.
-Course it will.
-Come on in, Gina.
I need to shoot.
Listen, how are you feeling?
I think things may have got slightly out of hand last night...
I'm fine. Is my dad in?
In the bath. But I'm really glad you're here. I've got something to give you.
Liz, never mind that.
Eileen told me that my dad's made you Power of Attorney
Ah. She's stolen my thunder. That's what I had to give you.
The legal letters. They arrived this morning of all days.
We've all got copies.
And, there's a couple of things changed in your father's will.
It was some rigmarole, I can tell you. Letters from the doctor and what-not.
But you have to be judged to be compos mentis before you can
make any changes at all.
So you'll understand why we had to do things in a hurry.
Just in case there's any more.... deterioration.
-Yeah. Of course.
-I don't want to put a pall over the day but I just thought that you
and Eileen know that I've got everything under control.
So we can all relax.
I don't really see what the problem is.
The problem is that a vulnerable man has somehow been persuaded
to sign over everything to a woman whose name he doesn't even know!
What does she mean?
Your dad was a wee bit confused this morning.
It's pre-wedding nerves.
No. No, it's dementia.
You know, I don't even know what I've been thinking.
We've all been going along with this wedding thinking that
it's lovely and romantic but it's not.
It's just plain wrong.
Dad is clearly in no fit state to be making a big decision
like getting married. He can't be. Or he'd never have agreed to this.
Can you honestly say that you're happy that he knows what he's doing?
Just finish getting the pub ready for the reception.
What? You're going to let this farce of a wedding go ahead?
No, I'm going go and speak to Liz and Dad, let them put my mind at ease.
-And if they can't?
-Just get on with it, eh?
When did the pain come on?
I was in my bed.
Were you doing something very strenuous?
I'd rather not say.
I see. Well, I can give you a prescription
and sign you off work for a week but in future you might want
to avoid exerting yourself in a similar fashion.
-You mean I've not to...
-No. Don't be silly.
But you need to expand your repertoire,
you know, find positions that keep your back stable.
I'm not sure I know what you mean.
Good grief, I'm not going to demonstrate.
If you're short of ideas, why don't you go get yourself
a book from the library or whatever people do these days.
Right, OK, thanks.
No. I'm not done.
You're very fat.
Aye, I've put on a wee bit recently.
More than just a bit.
You don't need me to tell you that you're dangerously overweight.
I need to go to my work.
I've signed you off.
Roll up your sleeve. I want to do your blood pressure.
And we should probably run some blood glucose
and cholesterol tests. I can get Tatiana to arrange those.
No! I don't want her involved.
Fine. Then I'll do them myself.
No, look nobody's doing anything. I just came in here for my back.
It's all part of the same thing. You're morbidly obese!
And you're a nosy cow!
Send in the next one.
Good. Get on the boss's line and phone that number.
Tell the guy Lenny wants to see him, pronto.
I don't take orders from you.
All right, all right. Calm your breeks.
You know the more I think about this the worse it gets.
Any chance you could put those down and give me a hand?
Raymond, do you really not get what's going on here?
Nope. But I'm pretty sure you're going to tell me.
OK, how about this?
For years she's been happy enough being his bidey-in
but the minute he gets ill, she's dragging him up the aisle,
taking away all his rights, taking away his house...
Woah! This is Liz Buchanan we're talking about here, not some bounty hunting bimbo!
And trust me, I know the difference!
Then why didn't she marry him years ago? Why wait till now?
I don't know.
Because if he dies and they're not married she's got exactly
what she had before she met him - which is nothing!
This way she gets the house, the works.
The house, by the way, which is Stuart's inheritance
as well as mine! I bet you hadn't thought of that.
No! I hadn't actually!
Because it's your dad's money and he can do what he likes with it!
He doesn't know what he wants! How can he?
He doesn't even know where he keeps his socks!
He doesn't know who he's marrying!
Right, you listen to me.
I know this is going to be tough.
And I wouldn't wish it on anyone, far less you.
But I know one thing sure...
..Malcolm knows exactly who Liz is
and why he's marrying her. And as for all this other stuff,
if your dad's mind wasn't sound enough to make these decisions
the doctor would never have let him.
Am I really the only one around here that cares about him?
You really care?
Then let him have a day to remember.
He might not have that many more.
Hey! Excuse me!
Eileen. Everything all right?
-I was given this today.
-I take it you were involved.
I'm your dad's GP. It was a formality. They had to make sure he was of sound mind.
And you told them he was.
Malcolm has memory problems but he's still capable of making decisions.
And that's your professional opinion, is it?
This morning he got my mum and Liz mixed up in his vows. That says to me he doesn't know what's going on.
Eileen, this is all part of your Dad's illness. Forgetting names is common in dementia
but he's still in the early stages.
Look, there may be times when he seems more confused
and unfortunately this will become more frequent
but he still has more good days than bad days, don't you think?
I think it's really easy for you to stand there and pontificate
when you don't have the first clue idea this is doing to my family.
-No, you listen. I'm going to challenge this
and I'm going to take it all the way if I have to.
And by the time I'm finished, your professional opinion won't be worth that.
Have you spoken to them?
No, no, there's nobody home.
Liz must have gone off to the hairdressers already.
Right, well, there's Dad.
Probably best we get him on his own anyway.
Gonnae just let me, eh?
Come on, Eileen. You've had your say.
I want to make up my own mind.
Look, why don't you go off to number 18, eh?
And nothing to Liz? Not until I've spoke to my dad.
Go on, eh?
Should you not be getting ready?
Probably. I needed to get out the house for a bit.
It's like a walk up the hills.
One minute it's clear, then the next the fog comes down
and everything's lost...
Dad, see if you're confused about the wedding...
Why would I be?
Eileen mentioned there was some sort of mix up with the vows.
Oh, did she?
Dad, you're just making so many decisions right now.
Liz told me about the Power of Attorney
and you changing your Will. I just need to know...
Dad, I just want...
What, that I know what I'm doing?
You think I'm that bad?
The reason I want to marry Liz is because she's got faith in me.
Which is more than I can say for you!
Come on, Dad!
I'm disappointed in you, Gina.
Now excuse me, I've got a wedding to get ready for.
There you go.
Oh, not for me, thanks. I'll just stick to the orange juice.
Probably best. You'll need to have all your faculties on your big day.
In fact, is it not a legal requirement?
Top me right up.
Now I was going to ask your opinion, dear.
I've got a last minute addition to my outfit.
And I was wondering, do you think I should dispense with the necklace?
Oh, that's gorgeous!
Thank you. I do rather like it.
But yeah, you probably don't need the necklace.
Where'd you get that?
Malcolm gave it to me.
You know, something borrowed.
It was your mum's, I believe.
Yes. Yes, it was.
You don't mind, do you? Only your dad was very insistent.
No, you go right ahead, Liz. Fill your boots.
Okey dokes. I'll just go and get your hairspray.
I don't know what's going on there but you cold cut it with a knife.
They were getting on fine last night.
Well, that's weddings for you. In fact that's "love" full stop.
Nothing but grief from beginning to end.
-There you go.
-Thank you, dear.
That's the fella to see Lenny.
Gimme two secs, then send him in.
KNOCK AT DOOR
Not who you were expecting, eh?
He's gonna need a cab.
Thanks. You look lovely, by the way.
It's very striking.
Does it match the dress, aye?
I'll show you out.
No, it's OK. I'm going to wait for Gina.
Sure. Make yourself at home.
She is such a nippy sweetie.
You waiting on a message?
-It's not coming.
-Sorry I'm late, guys.
-You're fine. Hayley's just finished with Eileen.
-Aye, take a pew.
-Give us a minute, eh?
-I have just spoke to my dad.
-He knows exactly what he's doing.
-But this morning...
Look, will you button it? Look, this wedding's happening.
So can you just drop it, and try and make it a nice day -
-for his sake?
-Everything I do is for his sake.
Say that often enough and I might just believe you.
Liz, you're looking lovely!
Oh, thank you!
-I think this side is better, don't you?
Good afternoon, sir. Your chariot awaits.
Let's not keep your chauffeur waiting.
Who did this? We're trying to save money.
It's a wee present from Gabriel.
You shouldn't have.
Honest, Malcolm. It was nothing. Come on, in you go.
Well, thank you, Eileen but there was really no need to wait for me.
I wanted a quiet word.
Why are you doing this?
Marrying my dad, after all this time?
I don't know, because he asked me.
And you saw an opportunity.
Well, this way you get everything, control over my dad,
and then all his money when he goes.
And you think that's why I'm doing this?
I'm trying to think of another reason but I'm coming up short.
Your father and I... we love each other.
I know this morning when I spoke to him he couldn't remember your name.
If you think that's a good start to a marriage then you just go right ahead.
But I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to walk away.
See you at the wedding...
-You've been in a dwam all morning. Who is he?
Aye, right. Don't come it.
The copper who worked on my assault.
And now you're seeing him?
For one night only. Now he doesn't want to know.
Why wouldn't he?
Oh, come on. Easy pickings.
If I'm stupid enough to get myself beaten up then I'm stupid enough
to sleep with somebody who only wants one thing.
Which, by the way, I'd normally be up for but...
-You really like him?
-I made such an idiot of myself.
There I was banging on about what he wanted for breakfast and whether
he likes brown or red sauce, I look up and he's walking out the door.
I felt like...
But less assertive.
Do you want my advice? Play it cool.
What's for you'll not go by you.
Kelly-Marie, can I get another champagne, please?
It's certainly some view.
Where's those damn vows?
You feeling OK, Malcolm?
Course I am!
-Oh, that's Eileen here already?
Eileen, I'll just go and say hello to the wee man.
-You made good time.
-Yeah, I got a cab.
I didn't want to be putting the buggy up and down in this dress.
Quite right too. You look lovely by the way.
You should wear that colour more often.
Shut up, Raymond.
Actually, Eileen, could we have a quick word about earlier?
I don't think this is the time or place.
Eileen! Can you give me a hand here?
Sorry, I'm late.
Hayley kept faffing about with this blooming fascinator thingy.
Right, I'll go and get dressed. Gabriel will be...
Why you not dressed, Liz?
Come on, read them. I don't want any mistakes.
Whatever happened to just showing up and saying what the minister says?
It's all so complicated.
Dad, you don't have to do this.
No, no. Liz wanted us to write our own vows
and what Liz wants, Liz gets.
Doesn't mean she always has to get it her own way.
Ach, it's fine. I want to make her happy.
I want to make you all happy.
Fat chance of that happening.
How do you mean?
Ach, Gina was asking questions this morning.
Is that how it's going to be from now on?
Nobody trusting my judgment?
Hey, come on. Read the vows.
Are they all right?
Now all we need's the bride.
KNOCK AT DOOR
One chicken mayo and a bag of cheese and onion.
You're a star.
I tried to talk to your husband about his weight this morning.
He didn't want to engage.
He's a bit sensitive about it.
It's personal... Embarrassing.
Clearly. But until he does something about it,
it's always going to be the elephant in the room.
You think that's funny?
Not at all. Morbid obesity isn't remotely amusing.
I'd have thought as a health professional you'd be aware of that.
Of course I am.
And yet you married a man who's a walking heart attack?
Was there anything else?
Talk to him... before it's too late.
Or if you find the prospect of your husband's imminent demise
too embarrassing, send him back to me and I'll sort him out.
Not yet. I'll try Gabriel again.
I might have been a bit sharp with you earlier.
It's OK. I know it must be hard.
But if you're not coping...
I just want to do the right thing by Dad.
Is that so hard to understand?
Not at all.
It's just if you're too close to a situation,
it's hard to know what the right thing is.
Let me see if I can find out what's happening.
Well, just a little longer.
Still no answer. What do we do?
I dunno. But there's another wedding booked at three.
She's not coming, is she?
Was it something I said?
Did I do something wrong that I can't remember?
This damned thing! It's ruined everything!
No, Dad. This isn't your fault.
I shouldn't have pushed this wedding business.
Even if she doesn't show up, it needn't be the end of the world.
How can you say that?
That woman's the only thing that's been keeping me going.
-Is Liz with you?
Course, Dad. Where else would she be?
Oh, thank God for that.
Come on, Malcolm. Let's get this show on the road.
What were you thinking of?
-Och, save it.
You all set?
Ready as I'll ever be.
Look, Malcolm. I'll do the honours.
Don't worry about that.
-Where have you been?
-Doesn't matter. I'm here now.
MUSIC: Trumpet Voluntary by Jeremiah Clarke
Please be seated.
If anyone knows of any reason why these two
cannot be joined in matrimony, please speak now.
Doubt thou the stars are fire
Doubt that the sun doth move
Doubt truth to be a liar
But...never doubt...I love.
Thank you, Elizabeth. Now, Malcolm, your vows?
Could he just do the regular vows when he repeats after you?
-No. No, I'll be fine, I'll be fine.
I, Malcolm Hamilton...
Look at me, Malcolm.
..take you, Elizabeth Buchanan, to be my lawful wedded wife.
Ach, I've never needed a piece of paper to tell me how I feel.
I'm not going to start now.
My mind may be playing up but my heart's as strong as ever.
And I love you with my whole heart.
I can't promise you the moon and the stars
but I can promise you more of all that good stuff
we've had from the moment we met -
the love, the companionship,
lots of right good laughs,
and plenty of arguments over the crossword.
I mean we don't know what's coming tomorrow but who does?
But hang it all. Let's face the music and dance!
Malcolm and Elizabeth, I now pronounce you man and wife.
Malcolm, you may continue to kiss the bride.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
All right, everyone, here they come.
Quick, quick - confetti at the ready!
Is this the happy couple?
Yeah, but at their age what's the point?
Hope springs eternal.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
PHONE RINGS And he wonders why he got jumped?
-Talk to her. Don't let it spoil the day.
Not now, thank you.
-Aw, they look so happy.
-I know. I love a wedding.
My one night stand. 12 o'clock.
-Is that him?
-He is FIT.
-You mean out of my league?
Don't be daft. You're a catch.
-Did he just totally blank you?
-He's on duty.
If you say so.
Come on, let's just get inside.
THEY CHAT AMONGST THEMSELVES
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
It's been a long day so, if you don't mind,
Liz and I have asked Eileen to say a few words on our behalf.
She's an old hand at this public speaking.
So let's hear it for my beautiful daughter, Eileen.
What is she wearing?
They had a carpet that colour in the hospital.
Very absorbent, didn't show the vomit.
Right, well, f-first of all, I'd like to thank you all for coming.
For being here. It means a lot to my dad...and Liz.
Erm...and I'd like to take this opportunity
to formally welcome Liz into the family.
It's clear how happy she's makes my dad.
And to us, his family...
..erm, his happiness is everything...
So, everyone, Liz and Malcolm, eh?
THEY TOAST: Liz and Malcolm.
That was great. Short but sweet.
I'll just go and refresh my glass.
No, let me get it for you.
You stay and have a chat with Eileen.
I'll give you a hand, Dad.
Excuse me, I have guests to attend to.
It's done now. Can we just move on?
Eileen...I am choosing to believe
that you spoke out of... misplaced concern for your father
and not from any genuine suspicion of me.
Let's just leave it at that, shall we?
I just want what's best for him.
Oh! Well, why can't you accept that what's best for him
might just be me?
-I just wanted to say thank you. It's lovely.
-Don't be daft.
What's all this? The vegetable stall gone into liquidation?
I want to make Bob something healthy for his dinner tonight.
Aye, well, you've missed the boat. I've made him a nice pie and chips.
Did I just hear the magic words?
Yes, a lovely homemade steak pie, son. Your favourite.
But not very healthy.
There's onions in that pie! They're vegetables!
And you wonder why you can't lose weight?
-Ach, leave the boy alone. On you go, son.
This isn't right.
I know you cook him these things out of love but this food...
it's not good for him.
Can we just enjoy our dinner?
No. We have to be honest about this.
-You've got a problem.
-Ha! Honest, she says!
-The one that wouldn't know the truth if it hit her in the face!
No, I'm not taking this.
Her standing in my kitchen criticising my cooking,
criticising my boy.
-I'm trying to help him.
-By slagging him off?
Making him feel bad about himself? He can't help the way he is.
Yes, he can!
And not talking about it isn't going to make it go away
because it's there for everyone to see!
Look at him.
He's a mess.
I'm need to be somewhere else.
Oh, my God.
It is exactly the same dress as Eileen's, isn't it?
I thought it was but then I was like "No way!" cos that would just be...
(That they made two of them.)
I could have said more.
Well, I'm glad you didn't.
Look, can we just put all this behind us, now?
I don't think so.
Eileen, you practically walked him up the aisle.
What choice did I have?
I'm still going to challenge the power of attorney.
You know what, you're unbelievable.
I promised my dad that I would look after him
and that's exactly what I'm going to do.
I'm going to be all over the new Mrs Hamilton like a rash.
She makes one false move...
Gina, Eileen. I want a picture of my best girls.
There we go. Big smiles.
All the Hamilton girls together, eh?
Here...where'd you get that?
Dad, it's Mum's.
That's what I was saying - it's Rose's. Take it off!
I'll handle this. Dad, you lent that brooch to Liz.
I did no such thing.
Eileen, let me.
Where did you find it? I've put it away safe.
You're quite right, Malcolm. I don't know what I was thinking.
Here. You take it back.
-OK, there we are.
Now, can I get you a fresh cup of tea?
Or would you rather come home?
Tea. Tea would be nice.
Right, Dad, let's go get you some tea then, eh?
You happy now?
We all right here?
I've been trying to get a hold of you.
-I've been busy.
-You got a minute?
Don't just stand there. Get stuck in.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right. Water off a duck's back.
Let's go home. We can talk.
I need to pass on my congratulations to the bride and groom but I'll get you back there.
You know what I said - it's only because I love you.
Of course. Go on. Beat it.
Hey-ey. Where's Liz got to?
Er...think she went out for some fresh air.
I want to show her this picture - it's a cracker, eh?
D'you think we could get that framed for the mantelpiece?
I'm sure we could, Dad.
Hey. It's been some day, eh?
Yeah, Dad, it certainly has.
Are you planning on coming back down any time soon?
What was she doing wearing my mum's brooch?
She knows he gets confused
but, oh no, she just batters on in there - "He's fine, he's fine."
Fine to be sent him on some ridiculous stag do!
Fine to sign away his house, sign away his life like it's all normal.
-But it's not normal, is it? He's losing it!
-You think she doesn't KNOW that?
She lives with the man!
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe,
Malcolm wants to be with Liz because she makes him feel NORMAL?
It's NOT normal to leave a baby on the Underground.
It's NOT normal to forget the name of the woman you're going to marry!
Maybe not... but it's the new normal for Malcolm.
And I'm sorry but you're going to have to get used to that...
because there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
Now, I'm going back down there to celebrate your dad's wedding.
You can take part or not.
But you really need to remember this.
It's not Liz that's taking your dad away. It's his illness.
And it's taking him away from her too.
You didn't answer my texts.
You blanked me in the street.
I was working.
-Look, I don't want to mess you around, I just...
There's always a but.
What if there isn't?
I just want to go slow.
OK. That's not a but.
And...I need you to calm down when we're out.
I don't do that whole camp thing.
Hey, I'm loud and proud.
They're not the same thing.
But they're me.
Well, they don't have to be.
Right, so we're good to go
as long as I completely change my entire personality?
Oh, come on, Robbie, that's not you. All that stuff.
It's just a defence mechanism.
Look, I'd love to make out that I'm all deep and meaningful
but, honestly, I'm as shallow as puddle.
No, you're not. I wouldn't want to be with you if you were.
..we on or what?
Christina has found some good holidays.
Come and look.
I'm wiped out. I'll maybe see them tomorrow, eh?
You... You don't have to change for me.
-Spare any change?
-I'm not doing anything illegal.
Somewhere else you need to be, nurse?
-Something's come up.
-Well then, don't let us keep you.
The victim's female, late teens/early 20s, strangled.
Possibly a sex worker, given her clothing and the location.
You should report them, whoever's doing this to you.
Back off, all right.
As you seem incapable of fulfilling your duties here,
I think it might be best if you just went home.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd