17/07/2012 River City

I had a few drinks, I went out on the pull,

does that mean I deserved to be beaten to a pulp?

-I'm not an alcoholic.

-Till she accepts it, we can't do anything.

Just cos he keeps falling off the wagon, doesn't mean I will.

Not proven.

ALL: Yes!

It says that your hormone levels are all normal.

I'm not discussing this again.

You're ashamed to be seen with me, is that it?

-Thanks for seeing me early.

-No problem. I know you're a busy man.

So are the results back?

Because please don't tell me you need another sample!

No, we just use the two.

So, everything's all right, no problems?

No easy way to say this, but I'm sorry,

there does seem to be a problem.

What?

I explained that the lab use the two samples to take an average reading.

Aye.

I'm afraid both tests have revealed idiopathic oligospermia.

Basically, you have a very low sperm count.

The lower the count

the more difficult it is for your partner to conceive.

There's got to be some mix up.

No, I'm afraid not.

We'll refer you to a specialist

and they will discuss any viable options.

Thanks for these. I'm sorry, I've made you late.

Don't worry about it. I'll see you later with Stella, OK?

Make another appointment while you're here.

Mrs Clark?

Why are you here? What's up with you?

Nothing, I'm fine. See you later.

CHILDREN SING

# Round and round, round and round

# The wheels on the bus go round and round

# All day long... #

Here you go.

Excuse me, mate. Sorry, sorry. Have you got a minute?

Er, take a wild guess?

Gina's away to Malcolm's birthday brunch thing, so I'm kind of...

-What? All day?

-No, she'll be back in an hour,

but I don't know what state she'll be in.

Right.

Sausage. Egg.

That's yours. Sorry.

What's up?

Nothing. Doesn't matter. I'll speak to you later.

I'll pop into the garage on my way round to the Ship then.

Aye. Right, see you then. See you.

I'll just be a minute, right?

-So how was dinner last night then?

-We never made dinner.

We met up with Will's old pal, Selena, up the town.

And?

She's fantastic, intelligent, an ex-copper

who is now a victim support counsellor.

He tricked me into therapy!

-Aw, that's so sweet, kinda.

-He set me up!

She was actually really helpful after the whole ordeal.

She's great. He is great.

Somebody's keeping secrets from us? Right, we want details.

When did you pull and whom?

I wish.

Flowers like that could be followed with a diamond ring.

Or a dumping.

It's a well known fact that the size of the bouquet is equal to

the size of the guilty conscience, and that's some size!

Well, it's neither! He says he's got big news to tell me

and he wants to meet me later for a coffee.

See, big news! A diamond ring!

Dinner for diamonds, coffee for dumping.

You don't waste money on somebody you're dumping.

You're getting dumped.

Well, you've had enough coffees to know.

Anyway, you've got Will now.

So you've got no excuse for being a bitter old cynic.

THEY LAUGH

Aye, will do.

Sorry.

Here's the man himself!

You been here long?

No, just got here.

A wee lie in, aye?

Six months together and they still can't get enough of each other!

Brilliant, mate.

So, what's wrong wi' it?

It's firing but not catching. We've had a look but it's nothing obvious.

D'you want tae move?

No bother.

Mate, I wouldn't shift it like that if I were you.

One slip and the wife's in for a nasty surprise!

Right, see youse later.

Are you OK?

Aye, I'm fine.

You don't look it.

It's just...I was worried, wondered what the doctor said?

-What! How the...? She wasn't even there!

-It was just that Molly said.

Aw, for...! Can I not get any privacy now?

Hey, don't shoot the messenger!

I'm just doing a bit of reconnaissance for that pair!

You know what they're like! I'm only passing on the aggravation.

I had a dodgy curry the other night. All right?

Spare me the details, eh?

-Right, you ready?

-Aye.

That's fantastic news! Well done!

I never said anything because I never thought I had a chance of getting it.

A flash new car, ten grand more and commission! Brilliant.

-So when do you start?

-Next Monday.

Wow. They're keen.

They want me involved in setting up the new office and recruiting staff.

You could look more pleased. I'd be cartwheeling down Montego Street!

The job's in Brighton.

Brighton? Near London?

Well, um...

It's really great. I'm pleased for you. You deserve it.

I've heard that it's really nice there.

It's fantastic.

Amazing nightlife, beautiful countryside,

it's an hour from London.

It's a really nice town.

Well, I suppose I better get myself set

for all those dirty weekends by the sea.

The thing is, I'm going to be working most weekends,

so it's going to be really hard, you know,

getting our work schedules together and timing visits.

What are you trying to say?

SHE GASPS

Oh, my God! I'm being dumped!

What? No! Absolutely not!

So you're going off to work in Brighton

and you don't have time to see me at weekends so therefore...

Will you come with me?

What?

Will you come and live with me in Brighton? Please.

Look at this handsome wee guy I picked up at the cafe!

-Is he a cracker, isn't he?! I've got you a coffee.

-Ta.

I thought you were at work then going to the Ship?

I still am, it's just your ma had to head over there early

and your Gran wasn't back yet, so I said I'd watch him for five minutes.

And look what he did for his Uncle Bob!

-It's good, isn't it?

-Aye! It's brilliant! Can I keep it?

Yeah.

You're being silly, Uncle Bob! Rockets go up, not down!

He's never been in a spaceship before.

So what's up?

Eh?

You said you wanted to see me?

Aye...

It's just Jimmy brought this taxi in and it's going to be a nightmare.

So?

I'm not going to make it to Malcolm's party.

They need this back on the road, making money.

But everybody's going to be there! I've already ironed all your clothes.

Can you not just come in early tomorrow?

Well, I'll see how I get on.

Right, OK.

Are you and me going to go on another space ship ride up the road?

-Yeah!

-Let's go.

Stella, you couldn't get away later on, could you?

I've already told you, I'm going to the Ship to help set it up.

You said you've got this cab so?

Aye, but it'll just be for ten minutes.

What are you like! Can you not just wait for tonight?

PHONE RINGS

It's your ma again. Look I need to go.

-See you later.

-See you.

-C'mon, you.

Brighton, as in the gay capital of England?

Yep.

Long distance romance? I think I might've won.

No. He's asked me to go with him.

What?

To re-locate as his official partner.

That's near enough a diamond ring for me! I win.

You can't be serious?

So when's all this gonnae happen?

He has to let his boss know by 5.00, if he's taking the job

and if I'm going with him, and he starts next week.

Next week! You can't just go!

-No. I'm not...

-You've not said no, have you? You can't say no!

No. What I mean is, I've not said yes either.

I told him I need time to think.

PHONE RINGS

Hello. Number 18.

Does he know any other handsome princes that would whisk

a single mum away from all this?

Yeah, that's no bother. See you at 4.00.

Sorry, I'll be five minutes. Do you want a wee cup of tea?

Don't know why you're smiling.

She'll be living it up at the seaside,

you and I will be down the dole.

I'm smiling because you're sorted with Will, she's sorted with Tom.

So it's my turn next!

Come on, think of all the free holidays you'll have

in the gay capital of England.

And she's a pal you love,

so you could try and be a bit happy for her.

You've nothing? But Dr Stubbs asked me to go back in and see her today.

Aye, any cancellations.

Aye, we can come in any time.

Right. Thanks, bye.

And I never forgot it was Malcolm's birthday!

I just forgot what day it was.

Aye. Easy done at your age.

-All right.

-All right.

-Feelin' better now?

What? Oh, aye. I was looking for Stella.

She's in there.

Glad you're here. Your wife is with God's Gift in there.

I was about to get a bucket of cold water to chuck over the two of them.

No, darling, you stay up there as long as you like.

Are you here to help or not?

I am helpin'! C'mon!

There he is!

-I hope you've broke the news to her?

-What?

If I hadn't been there earlier your Bob well, let's just say,

-he was nearly Roberta.

-What are you talking about?

Dicing with death he was, legs round a tow bar, I'm telling you,

if I hadn't been there, one slip and...

Could've crushed the old nuggets.

SHE LAUGHS

The upshot is, you have to name your first born after me.

-That right?

-Give it a rest. Do you never get sick of your own voice?

-Hey, just having a laugh.

-Aye? Well, I'm not laughing.

Fair enough. I'll just go and get those things.

What was that about?

I don't like a wido like him treating my wife like she's some tart.

Get over yourself! We were just having a laugh.

What? His hands all over youse a laugh, is it?

What is that supposed to mean?

You two want to have an rammy elsewhere.

That cutlery needs cleaned.

Two secs, while I just go and apologise for my idiot husband!

Leave it. What's wrong with you?

I need stuff brought over from the flat. Move!

TV BLARES

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Aye, it's Bob. What's that?

A cancellation with Dr Stubbs?

Aye, aye. What time?

Sorry, can you say that again? I can't hear you.

Aye, 4.00. That's fine. Thanks. Bye.

Why are you going back to the doctor's?

Aye! You don't go back to the doctor about a dodgy curry!

-I've got to go.

-What's wrong with you?

-Nothing!

-Don't you nothing me!

-It's none of your business!

You're my boy, of course it's my business!

You don't go to the doctor if your leg was hanging off

so don't you dare tell me it's none of my business,

when you're yelling at me, yelling at Stella, and fighting with Stevie!

-Ma, I don't want to talk about it. All right?

-No, it's not all right!

What is it, Bubba?

Bubba, you're scaring me!

Molly, go and watch the weans.

Of course, hen.

It's me.

What's you?

Why Stella cannae get pregnant. It's because of me.

I don't know how to pronounce it,

some fancy word that means I can't have weans.

No! No way. Don't be daft.

That's what I went to the doctors for, Ma.

No. That is pure garbage. You're an O'Hara. We breed like rabbits.

We need to go back, get another test.

-They've mixed up the results.

-No! There's no mix up.

Some other O'Hara must have got all my share

because they've done two tests and according to the lab

and the doctor, it's not going to happen.

I'm not going to be a dad.

Rubbish, in't it?

Good brunch?

-Fabulous! Class restaurant. I could have stayed all day.

-If only.

I thought you were getting this place ready.

That's what we are doing and have been doing

while you've been out sipping champagne.

-What? What have you been doing? Look at it!

-Exactly!

And where's Scarlett? Do I have to do everything?

Apparently.

Zinnie, I'm leaving it up to you.

What?

You give her everything she wants, money and staff.

I want this place ready by 5.00. No excuses.

Has it escaped your notice we're trying to run a pub here?

Has it escaped your notice that it's my Dad's 78th birthday and he is not well?

I'm going to make sure this party is perfect.

Do you have a problem with that?

Here. That was a joke, wasn't it?

Am I laughing?

Right on you go. And if it all goes horribly wrong, welcome to my world.

It's one of those fancy places.

They've got robots doing the cleaning. Tattie will know.

It begins with a B, I think.

Why's there no list of private hospitals in this?

Ma, just leave it for now.

There's no harm in giving them a call.

If we get a price we've got something to work on.

We could all chip in.

Ma, we don't even know if IVF would work.

It's going to have to be Kelly-Marie or my Uncle Bob

to carry on the name.

You can't give up! You owe it to some wee soul to be their daddy.

What about Elton John?

Eh?

There's that donation thing, isn't there?

When you use somebody else's...you know.

You don't actually do the deed!

If Elton John can be a daddy in his 60s...

We could get somebody that looks like you and they could donate.

But it still wouldn't be my wean.

Aye, it would! I never carried you for nine months

but there's no way I'm not your mammy!

Aye, I know that.

-I couldn't love you any more than I do.

-I know that too.

You just need to think about it! You've only just found out.

Exactly!

I've not even had a chance to tell Stella yet,

so you just need to give us some time.

And please, don't start on her again.

I'll no! I'm not poking my nose in. I just want to help.

I don't want you to tell anybody, all right?

Of course I'll not! What do you think I am?

Darlin', if you need anything. Anything at all...

Aye. I know.

-All right, Gran.

-It's all right son.

SHE SIGHS

Being in the police means he has to keep a distance. I get it.

-I know I'm needy.

-Anyone would need support after your ordeal!

But he's been so kind thoughtful ever since.

Well, he's looking after you now.

-Right, a latte?

-Aye, please.

Yeah, Glasgow to Gatwick.

That's great. Thank you.

No, I'll give you a call back if I'm going to book. Cheers.

He's just away on a coffee run.

How is he?

Aye, I still cannae believe they got away with it.

After the state they left him in and they get to walk? It's unbelievable.

Some pal I am. After what he's been through.

I shouldn't have said anything, until I decided what I was doing.

But even if I do decide to go, nothing would change overnight.

Aye, I know. And I've told him that. Look, don't worry about us.

And you know what Robbie's like, the Comeback Queen.

Look, I know it's a big step,

but how long have you been waiting for someone like Tom to come along?

All my life.

PHONE RINGS

The Estate Agent. That was quick.

Keen? That's a good sign.

Hello. Yes, this is Hayley.

No, we've only just found out

so I just wanted to check out if we went private...

So, that's for each go?

Right.

Aye, thanks very much. Thanks. Bye.

-Right, Sandra, so that's you. See you next time.

-See you then.

£130 a go?

You're going to need to sell the business to pay for the fares

to see lover boy.

That's the special price. I've no idea how much it would be normally.

The train?

It's expensive and it takes about eight hours.

He better be worth it!

That's the commute? What about the move?

I've got a rough price for this place from an estate agent.

And?

Nowhere near what it's worth. I could lose thousands.

This is the most romantic thing that's ever happened to you

and you're treating it like a big dirty nuisance.

And you think you're being inconvenienced? What about me?

How bad is your timing?

You better come back up here to be a bridesmaid.

Can you imagine Deek in one of these?

SHE GIGGLES

Welcome back. Long time no see.

Is he still in a mood then, aye?

What? Has he had a go at you as well?

No, of course not. He's fine.

Fine?

He was fine when we left the flat this morning,

and he's been in a bad mood ever since.

He'd no right to have a go at me and Stevie, like that.

So what's wrong?

Nothing's wrong. D'you want to put up those fairy lights?

Is Bob all right?

Aye, he's fine. He's...

Tell me.

No, he...

It's about this morning.

What?

The doctor.

What, he's been to the doctor?

-Aye, but...

-But what?

He's been to the doctor and he's had some bad news.

NO! No, he's OK. Well, he's...

Scarlett, gonnae just tell me what it is?!

Oh, darling, it's about the baby thing. He's had some tests...

I'm sorry. That's what the bad news is.

He's been wanting to speak to you but...

Where's she going? Excuse me!

Eileen put me in charge and I think it's about time you did some work.

Aye, well, you keep on thinking, doll, because you need the practice.

Low sperm count, aye?

You talked about this to your ma and you never thought to tell me?

What? No! Look, it wasn't like that! I was over at ma's and...

You didn't think it would be a good idea to tell your wife first?

Aye, of course, but... How did you find out?

-From your ma!

-What?

She told me you'd been to the doctor this morning. I didn't even know!

I've been trying to tell you but...

You've got every right to be angry with me.

Aye, you're right I have.

And it's dead big of you to admit it, so it is.

I'm sorry.

Don't give us, "I'm sorry!"

Do you seriously think that I wouldn't be the slightest bit

interested that you'd gone to the doctors today, let alone had tests?

-Why the big secret?

-I didn't want to worry you.

So you let me look like an idiot in front of your ma instead, aye?

We walked to work together and you never even said anything!

Why did you even think you needed testing anyway?

I didn't! It was just, after your blood tests, I was...

I don't know, I just thought it would be best if I got checked out.

Without telling me? I'm your wife!

I just...I can't believe you would tell your ma and not me.

I didnae tell her! I mean, I didnae mean to tell her.

I've been trying to talk to you all day but you've always been too busy.

-Aw right, so it's my fault then, aye?

-What? No.

I just mean you were at work and then you were with Callum

-and then you and Stevie...

-Aye, me and Stevie, that was priceless!

-Stella, calm down!

-Calm down?

Look, I know I've screwed up all right,

but I've made an appointment with Dr Stubbs, for the two of us

-at 4.00 then we can both...

-What?

I don't know. We can go through it with her and then we can decide...

Stella! Wait! Stella! We need to talk!

Why don't you talk to your ma?

She'll be happy to go to the doctor with you.

-Stella, don't be...

-Don't be what?

I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry.

-I'm going a walk...

-I'll come with you.

No, you willnae! Just leave me alone!

You don't want to come, do you?

I want to be with you.

It's just there's a lot of things to think about and organise and...

-I'm sorry.

-I've put you in an impossible position.

It's just I want to see you every day and not every other weekend

-when we're shattered and stressed.

-I know.

I just feel like I need to chose between my life and you

and I've only got a couple of hours to make a decision

that's going to change everything for ever.

I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to be like this.

I don't want to stress you out. I was just so made up about the job.

I know, and you should be. You deserve it.

Just ignore me. I'm thrilled, I really am. It's just been a shock.

Just give me some time to get my head around it.

Of course.

I'll tell the company they'll have to wait for your decision.

You take all the time you need.

Just through in the pool room please.

Hey, Gabriel.

I might have known you'd be with the prettiest girl in Shieldinch.

A pint, please.

What is it here? Am I invisible here or are you just blind?

Here...sorry. Apologies, many apologies.

There, you've learnt something new today! Manners. Large whiskey.

You want to be careful who you serve.

Put decent folk off, letting the low-life in.

I've let you in, haven't I? The guy's apologised, just leave it.

-I've been waiting here ages.

-In case you haven't noticed we've been busy.

Aye. Not at being a pub though, eh?

What is it, she got you by the short and curlies?

Want to man up,

send the coffin-dodgers round the Community Centre

and keep this place for what it says above the door.

Good boy. Now, it's your turn.

Sorry about that.

No worries. Genuine mistake.

I didn't mean to put you in the firing line though.

Really, don't worry about it.

I've had years of practice with the charming Mr Murdoch.

Hi, Stella. Are you all right?

Aye, I'm fine.

No, you're not.

Well, why you asking then?

Because if I can help you, I will.

Thanks but, I don't think you can.

Before Scarlett says anything to you,

me and Bob have kinda had a bit of bad news today.

About the baby thing.

It's not going to happen.

What? But I thought you and Bob were agreed on having a baby.

No, it can't happen.

Not for us, anyway.

I'm really sorry.

PHONE RINGS

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

But please, Stella, phone me, text me, come round and punch me.

But please, gonnae just come to the doctor's at 4.00.

HE SLAMS THE SPANNER DOWN

Well, that should do the trick.

Sorry about that. It's just been one of those days.

Sorry, Jimmy, I've not even sorted out what's wrong

but as soon as I do...

Don't worry. We'll cope.

I've lent him my taxi for the night, there's no rush.

She's told you, hasn't she? For God's sake!

What part of "don't tell anybody" does she not get?

Bob, your ma's...she's beside herself with worry.

She just thought I should pop across and see if you were all right.

She's told Stella, you, who else?

She didn't mean to say anything Stella was going off on one.

BOB SIGHS

She just thought that maybe you might want to talk to

another man about it, so here I am.

But if you don't want to, it's fine.

Have you spoken to Stella?

Right.

JIMMY SIGHS

You know, it's mad.

You two struggling with this and there's folk out there you

wouldn't leave a dog with, that get pregnant without a thought.

It stinks.

I've never even had to think about it, never gave it a thought.

It's just part of me. I want weans and I always have.

And since me and Stella got together I want them now. And then this!

It's not fair. It's not bloody fair.

No. It's not.

We would love that wean so much.

I know, son.

No, you don't, Jimmy! What age were you when you got Madonna?

I'm 26! Stella's 20!

I'll never have a family, no kids, no grandkids, nothing, nobody!

My whole life's changed. So don't sit there and tell me you know.

It doesn't have to be the end of the world.

No, but it could be the end of our marriage.

That's exactly what I'm saying!

I mean let's get the facts straight first.

I mean, you probably didn't hear what the doctor said this morning.

You've just got to try and get your heads around it, that's all.

You're right, I can only imagine what you're going through.

But...

I remember when I heard that your ma had cancer.

Just that word...

I never heard another word the doctor said to me after that,

just that word.

And I'm taking a wild guess,

that's probably what you went through this morning?

One word and it changes your life.

That's why the two of you have got to take a couple of deep breaths

and calm down before you say or do anything daft.

Aye. Look, I need to go and find Stella. Will you...?

I'll lock up here, on you go.

The keys are there right. Cheers, Jimmy.

I said there.

No! You said that's where you wanted them.

No! I did not! If you'd listen for once.

-You did say that! I heard you.

-No, I didn't.

Will you all just shut up?

Stevie, son, do as she says.

-Aye, but...

-Just do it!

And you, madam.

One more hissy fit from you,

and I'll have you out the back cleaning the toilets, OK?

-Eileen put me in charge.

-Eileen does not run this pub, I do!

What are you doing back there?

I'm getting a drink. It's a pub, innit?

It's all right, the money's on the till. One large whiskey.

Put that back.

You ignorant piece of...

Raymond! Easy!

Yeah, Raymond. Easy.

This is my pub.

Get out! Now.

Stella?

Stella?

It's so romantic!

Exactly. With the look on her face you'd think this happened everyday.

I just think...

You've been round the block a few times, Liz, what do you think?

Regrets are the risks you didn't take.

Aw, thanks, Lizzie, doll, you never let me down.

Aye, what have you got to lose?

My business, my flat, my pals.

Friendships will remain and new ones be made.

The business and flat, just bricks and mortar.

They need their hair cut down in Brighton as much as they do up here.

I know but...

And I don't mean to be maudlin but the truth is life is short,

over before you know it, so you grab it with both hands.

Exactly. She always plays it so safe. Where's that got you?

If you always do the same, you always get the same.

My, what a bevvy of beauties.

-Why, thank you kind sir.

-Been putting the world to rights?

Aye, and we need the final word from you, Malcolm.

Hayley's dream boy has asked her to go with him to Brighton.

Do you love him?

Yeah. I do.

Then go. Love is all that matters in life. The rest...just nonsense.

And I rest my case.

-You'll all be coming to my party tonight, I hope.

-Absolutely!

It's a surprise party!

Oh, is it?

Aye, the surprise is I remembered about it!

THEY ALL LAUGH

Come on, you! We'll see you all later.

-Cheerio.

-Bye!

-Tea break?

-Aye.

PHONE VIBRATES

-Cup of tea, Kelly-Marie?

-Yes, please.

It's me, em...I know I said I wouldn't hassle you

but I was thinking about what you said.

And I have put you in an impossible situation.

It's too much too soon and if I was you, then...

I was being selfish.

So I'll speak to my boss, and I'll have a choice too.

HE SIGHS

And there's a load of fertility supplements that can help.

It says on the internet...

Bob, I would strongly advise you against buying any supplements

or treatments on the internet.

At best they'll be useless at worst they could be downright dangerous.

But it says that the condition can sometimes change and...

And I've said that we will continue to test you.

Once we've found out if there's any underlying cause...

Like my diet and lifestyle?

I doubt if your diet or lifestyle is a cause.

Blood tests may show

if there are any genetic or physiological factors involved.

-Come on then. Let's get on with it.

-No.

When you've seen a specialist,

he will make all the arrangements for further testing.

And he'll be able to tell us about our chances with IVF?

When he has the necessary information from more specific tests.

And there's IUI and ICSI? It says even with a few changes...

I'm sorry, is this boring you?

No. But I am running late,

and we need to have this discussion with your wife present.

I want to get some information for her and...

Look, I understand how hard this is for you, really I do.

But I will not discus IVF with you and not not Stella.

There's no point.

-No point?

-No! There isn't.

This is not about you.

IVF is one of the most agonizing journeys

either of you will go through and before we discuss anything,

the two of you need to know that you can do it together.

PHONE RINGS

Bob?

I saw Stella a while ago.

I'm so sorry.

She told you?

Yeah.

Listen, I'm gutted for the both of you. It's not right.

I know she had her heart set on having a baby.

There must be something they can do, eh? I told her not to give up.

What?

There's that many things they can do nowadays.

I told her not to beat herself up about it.

It's not her fault.

It's me. It's all my fault.

It's nobody's fault. It's just pure bad luck.

All she ever wanted was a family

and I'm not man enough to even give her that.

I'm no use to any woman.

What? This is mad!

You can't blame yourself for something

that you've got no control over.

These things can happen to anybody!

Life's been hard for Stella, I mean, you know that,

but she's never gave up.

And now she's been dumped with me, to grow old with, alone.

She deserves better than this. She deserves to be happy.

And who's to say she won't be happy, that the two of you won't be happy.

I wouldn't blame her

if she decided she was better off somewhere else, d'you know that?

Oh, Bob, don't be daft.

You know what's daft, something that she wants so much,

something that would be so easy with somebody else

is going to be a complete nightmare with me.

Come on inside, we're not talking about it here.

No, I need to go and find her.

PHONE RINGS

Bob, son! Can I see you a minute?

Now, listen, I know I'm not supposed to know,

but you don't get to my age without learning a thing or two.

Now, a friend of mine had the same problem, years ago.

Firing blanks.

But he swore by this, a pint a day.

You can't buy it here, it's all that modern rubbish,

but this is full of iron, guaranteed to put lead in your pencil, he says.

I had to go to Partick to get it. So I got you a few bottles.

It's not fair. It's just not fair.

I can't imagine a better daddy than you, son.

There's no justice in this world. None at all.

Gran, can I get this off you later? I need to...go somewhere.

OK, darlin'. I'll see you later, son.

If you're looking for Stella, she's skived off all afternoon.

But tell her not to worry, because we managed really well without her.

Hi there, son. You OK?

Aye, I'm fine.

Just gie him some peace, all right?

-Here, how did you get on?

-I told you not to tell anyone.

I didn't! They're family, they're not just anybody.

-You are unbelievable, d'you know that?

-What?

I didn't mean to say anything to Stella. She was in such a state.

How did she take it?

What about you? Have you been back to the doctor?

Just leave it, all right?

-Bubba...

-Look, no.

Have you not found her? Mate, you wanna keep a tighter leash on her.

SIGN CLATTERS

-What did you do that for?

-What?!

THEY GRUNT

Get off me!

I've made things even worse. My bubba needs me.

No, just leave him with a bit of pride.

He might be your wee bubba but he's a grown man.

BOB YELLS

Ah, Bob! I'm no gonnae batter somebody half my size, calm down.

Let me got then.

SHE LAUGHS

Bob!

Calm down! Just calm down!

Get off me! Ah!

Just breathe, Bob.

HIS BREATHING CALMS

Can I let go of you now, please?

Aye.

HE SIGHS

They're just a couple of old friends, silly argument, got out of control.

It's all done and dusted now.

-Only if you're sure.

-Yeah.

-OK, see you later.

-Thanks, guys, appreciate it.

Listen, Bob, I don't know what I've done today.

I mean it, I really don't,

but obviously I've rattled your cage, and I'm sorry about that.

I'd be careful. See for a wee guy, he's got some dig on him.

I'm going to take a wild guess here, but I reckon you've had a bad day

and poor Stevie just happened to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Am I right?

Bad doesn't begin to cover it.

I can't have kids.

You're right. Bad doesn't cover it. I'm really sorry.

Not as sorry as I am.

The thing is, this bad day would have got a whole lot worse

if Stevie had pressed charges.

I know it's not easy but in future if you can just engage the brain

and walk away until the adrenalin stops pumping, yeah?

I know. I just completely lost it. I've never...

I wanted to kill him. I just went pure psycho. I'm going mad.

You're not mad! You're just in shock, understandably so.

I better go and say sorry to Stevie.

I'll pass on your apologies. You can see him later.

-I'm sure you've got some one more important to talk to.

-Cheers.

Do you love him?

I do.

But does he love me?

The guy is crazy about you! What are you scared of?

Hayley, all those things in the past, all those guys that hurt you,

they're gone, they are history.

You are a wonderful, beautiful woman

and you've finally met a guy with brains enough to see it!

Of course he loves you.

What if I go down there and give up everything

-and then in a couple of months...?

-You realise you are blissfully happy

and it's the best thing you've ever done?

Love doesn't come with a safety net.

THEY BURST INTO LAUGHTER

Did you really just say that?

I can be wise!

HAYLEY'S PHONE BEEPS

I heard that in a film.

It was a great film, I was pure greetin'. Her man was dying.

She was like that, "Love doesn't come with a safety net." I was doing that there.

Are you OK?

'I was being selfish, so I'll speak to my boss

'and I have a choice too, the job or you, and I choose you.'

Aw, for the love of... What more do you need? He loves you!

Oh.

LAUGHTER

Hi, it's Tom. Is Mr Hallam there? Yes, he's expecting my call.

Hello there...

What are you doing?

I'm coming with you.

Are you serious?

I'm totally crazy, but I love you.

PHONE RINGS

Hi, I think we got cut off. Yes!

I would very much like to accept your offer.

OK, thank you.

SHE LAUGHS

Gina's bringing him over in ten minutes, so get the champagne ready!

Both of you!

-Enjoying a wee bit of quiet?

-Yeah, a rare event.

Sorry to disturb you, I just wondered if I could buy you another of them?

What?

I didn't really help the situation earlier,

so by apology can I buy you a drink?

There's no need, honestly.

Come on, Lenny Murdoch isn't even on my doorstep

but he's enough to turn me to drink, so what's your poison?

-Well, if you insist...

-A malt?

Very good of you, but you can do me a favour, save me drinking alone.

Raymond Henderson.

Good to meet you, Raymond. Sean Kennedy.

A malt for Raymond there, a pint for myself, please.

Celebration time. What do you fancy? A bottle of fizz?

Can we have a bottle of fizz and four glasses when you get a minute?

Hayley's being whisked off to Brighton for a sunny new life,

Will and Robbie are totally loved up and what have I got?

The pair of you, with faces like skelped bums!

What's up?

It's Bubba! And you didn't hear this from me.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Sorry.

If you want I can go and stay at Deek's or...

I didn't get done for Stevie. He didn't press charges, so...

I owe him. Big time.

Stella, what do you want to do?

What do I want to do?

I want to get pregnant, I want to have a baby, and a family,

I actually want a husband who will talk to me about our marriage

-before he goes and talks to his maw!

-I'm sorry.

You didnae sign up for this, when we got married. So...

I know I've let you down badly...

..and I understand if you decide that this isn't what you want.

Nobody deserves happiness more than you, Stella,

and I've got no right to deny you that.

It wasn't that big a deal, but it was legit, sound you know,

a good starter investment, but he stopped me getting the business...

What? For no good reason? That's Murdoch for you.

It's not even that he would've wanted it, he just doesn't want anyone else to have it.

He won't be happy until he owns this street and everybody in it.

-I heard that nice wee cafe...

-Aye, The Oyster?

-And you know he also had his paws on this place a couple of years back?

-Yeah?

And he was none too pleased when I got it back.

I bet. I hear he's not too well.

Whatever it is, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Aye, but an old dog can be vicious in his last fight, Raymond, so be careful.

He doesn't play by the rules.

Don't worry about me.

-Are they on their way over?

-They're just behind me!

-I'll get the champagne ready.

I'll be in in two seconds.

Evening, ladies.

Can I get you another?

No, no thanks.

So busy night.

Yeah. I better get back to it.

Don't knock it, it's a good wee business you've got going here.

True enough. Good talking to you, Sean.

Is it something I said?

You know full well, that I'll be taking personal responsibility

-if Malcolm's big night doesn't go well. See you again, eh?

-See you.

-What was all that about?

-Nothing we need to worry about.

C'mon, Raymond. Everyone got a drink?

And the birthday boy is here!

EVERYONE CHEERS

# Happy birthday to you!

# Happy birthday to you!

# Happy birthday, dear Malcolm

# Happy birthday to you! #

CHEERS

Thank you very much!

You do my head in. Honestly.

This morning I woke up beside you and there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

And now you're telling it's all right if I go?

-No! I didn't say that!

-Just shut up and listen to me!

This afternoon, I asked your ma if you were all right and she said no.

That you'd been to the doctor and you'd got some bad news.

There was a wee moment where I thought there was something

seriously wrong with you...

..that you weren't well.

So one minute I think I'm losing you, the next minute, we might not be able to have a baby together.

And, there you are, with your leaflets

and sorting stuff before I even knew there's something to be sorted.

I needed to get my head straight, not go and see a doctor.

I am gutted, that we might not be able to have a baby.

It breaks my heart.

But do you honestly think that I'm going to run out of our marriage at the first sign of trouble?

I married you because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

And it tears me apart that you think that this is your fault and I don't love you any more.

Do you just not know me at all, no?

We're a team, and we deal with stuff together OK?

I just want to make life perfect for you.

As long as we're with each other, it is.

SHE SNIFFS

Kill him. Dirty low-life scumbag.

-Was it something I said?

-Replace my stock and pay for the damage.

What are you talking about?

It's important for me to like who's taking over Number 18. Would you consider taking it over?

The Ship got turned over last night.

-You better go round and apologise then.

-For what?

-For taking Lenny's side.

-She asked me to buy her out.

-How much is she asking?

-Eight grand.

-That is a steal.

Maybe I can help you out.

You'll have your bar stocked in no time.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd