05/03/2013 River City

It's our anniversary. I just wanted it to be special.

Well, it's not, is it?

You look a mess.

It was all I could find.

I'm no' running a low-rent boozer here, y'know?

You're one of the prettiest lassies I know.

That's the nicest thing anybody's said to me in ages.

-You should leave.

-Don't be stupid, I'm not going anywhere.

You're 19.

And lumbered with a guy who can't feel anything.

Is that what you want for the rest of your life?

All right, Stella?

Early start?

Aye.

Look, I'll catch up with you later on, right?

I nearly didn't come.

Did you have to lie to Bob?

He was sleeping. I just left him a note.

CLANKING >

What was that?

New barrels being delivered.

Come on, let's go up.

No, we can't. Not if somebody's here.

Aye, we can!

Wait, what if the delivery guy comes up?

-He won't.

-Aye, but what if he does?

He'll go when he's finished.

Do you not have paperwork to sign or something?

No. Done.

But he'll hear us...

Then we'll just have to be very quiet, then, won't we?

Stella?

Stella?

I can't find it. What did you do with it?

-What did I do with it?

-Eh, aye. You took it off me.

Well, I'm ever so sorry, madam. It won't happen again!

Honestly, Stevie, where is it?

Is this what you're looking for?

Stop mucking about! We need to go down the stair.

You don't need to worry.

Really? I don't need to worry, no?

He's my mate, too.

-But me and Bob are gonnae work things out.

-I know you are.

Come here.

Right, you. Enough of your skiving.

Chairs down, fresh beer mats on those tables.

You're the boss.

I think you'll find that's me.

Still, good to see my manager cracking the whip bright and early!

How long have you been here?

Long enough.

To know you need a degree to work that coffee machine.

I'll do it.

So what brings you in before opening?

Do I need a reason?

What? No, no, of course no'. It's your castle.

You come and go as you please.

Ah, well, I'm glad I've got your permission.

Annabel Taylor's going to be in after lunch.

-The new sales rep from the supplier.

-Oh, right.

I hope you've been keeping the sales figures up-to-date.

You know me, Lenny. I'm always on the ball.

Well, you'll have to be. Because this Annabel one,

I hear she's got herself some kind of management degree.

Giving herself her own personalised tour of inspection.

Hold on...

It's her that needs our business, not the other way about.

See? That's what I want to hear.

-Don't let her throw her weight around.

-Don't worry.

I'll keep her in place.

Thanks.

-Sorry about that.

-What?

All that sucking up to the boss carry on.

The things we do to keep our jobs, eh!

Speaking of which,

am I getting overtime for coming in early this morning?

Overtime?

-Is that what you're calling that?

-Yep.

Right, c'mon!

Happy Birthday, Liz.

Oh, good heavens! Where did you find this?

At one of these specialty gift shops, I discovered it years ago.

It's amazing it's survived.

Oh, no, I wasn't talking about the frame, although yes,

it is beautiful.

Just like the lady in the photo.

Oh...

She might've been when this was taken.

Oh, no, still is.

That photo's far too lovely to be hidden in an album.

You know...

I think maybe it's time I started giving up on birthdays.

Nonsense! Some things just get better with age.

Happy birthday, Liz.

Oh...

So have you got anything planned, to celebrate?

Oh, 73 isn't anything special.

No, just a quiet dinner in with my husband, that'll do me fine.

Just the two of us.

I'll make sure I'm out the road.

Listen, I didn't know what to get you.

So it's a voucher for Number 18.

You can have any treatment you like.

Do they do facelifts?

I didn't mean it like that.

I'm sure you didn't.

Thank you, Gabriel.

I'll see youse later.

That voucher was kind of Gabriel.

It's going to take more than a voucher for him

to worm his way back into my good books.

Anyway, it's a start. Come on, get ready.

-Where we going?

-I'm taking you for morning coffee.

A birthday treat.

Ooh, how lovely! Thank you, dear.

On you go.

Hey, Gabriel.

Gabriel, I want your help.

I want to do something to surprise Liz tonight.

I'm not sure Liz would want me involved, Malcolm.

Hey, you're in whether you like it or not. All right?

< OK. Thanks.

< Callum, wait!

Whoa! Where are you going, mister?

Thanks. Sorry, he didn't hear me.

-It's all right.

-Don't run away from Mummy like that, OK? Thanks.

Everything all right?

Just been to see Dr Miriam about his operation next week.

He's terrified. He's totally gone off his food.

Look.

Stuffing sweeties into his mouth's no' gonnae help, is it?

-I'm trying my best.

-Yeah? How's that going?

-You think you can do any better?

-How hard can it be?

Right, wee man, your mum's going to go and get some of that "me time"

that women are always talking about.

You want to come spend some time with your granda?

-Good lad. All right.

-He's all yours.

Right, Callum. Make some space.

Don't want to spoil that lovely picture of yours.

Right, pal, move your pencils, here's some nice toast.

I just got Liz some nice smelly stuff.

And so did I.

Well, this lot should see her through to her next birthday!

Right, Mother's Day - do we or don't we?

Oh, we've still got another couple of days to think about that!

Good. I've caught you both. Tonight. Liz's birthday.

-Are you available?

-Why, what's happening?

I'm not quite sure yet. But I might need you both later, all right?

Somebody's working very hard to ingratiate themselves

-back into Liz's good books.

-Exactly what I was thinking. See you later.

-Shall I get the wee man some jam?

-No treats.

Yeah, Scarlett said he'd been acting up.

He's bound to be anxious about going into hospital.

Yeah, well, it doesn't help that everybody keeps mentioning it!

I don't know if you've read this leaflet,

but there's an event on at the community centre today for kids.

I don't need any lectures on how to entertain my grandson, all right?

Oh, look.

It's a show about lizards. Do you want to go and see it?

OK, then.

Put that down and eat up your toast.

OK? Then you can go.

You not eating anything, either? I can't seem to please anybody today.

I'm not as hungry as I thought I was.

Tell you what, why don't you get me in the Ship,

as soon as Liz hits the salon. All right?

Right, I'll see you, then. Bye.

-There you go.

-Lovely!

My favourite part of the job.

Not one I'd rush in early in the morning to do.

Well, I'm just a glutton for punishment.

Things that bad at home?

No, just getting a bit of decorating done. How are you?

Well, Liz still thinks she's living with Casanova.

-What, cos of you and Leyla?

-Yep.

-Things were bad with her and Michael but, weren't they?

-Sure.

But an affair isn't the only solution to a broken marriage, you know.

Aye, but sometimes you'll do anything to make yourself feel better.

So how's wee Bob?

Is he still taking his medication?

Aye.

And what about you?

Well, I'm just keeping myself busy.

Right. What, with working?

Here...

with Stevie.

What?

I'm no' daft, Stella.

I seen you with him this morning. And the way you're acting now?

It kind of confirms it.

Look, talk to me.

I love my husband.

I don't doubt it for a second.

But there's something going on, isn't there?

I didn't go looking for it, Gabriel, right?

And I'm no' proud of myself.

I can tell that, too, all right.

I mean...

Bob practically told me to leave.

But I'm not going to.

I wouldn't hurt him for the world.

Neither of us would.

OK.

OK?

I can't tell you how to live your life, Stella.

But just be careful, eh?

And...

look after that.

I will.

I can change you to Friday.

Aw, come on, Robbie, I've got my bingo Thursday night.

-I want it done by then.

-It'll need to be late on Thursday.

Bingo!

Oh!

Afternoon, Officer!

No trouble in here!

Glad to hear it.

Doesn't he look handsome in his uniform, Molly?

Very dashing.

I'm going to head home straight after shift

and cook something, OK?

That's one good thing about you being back on the beat.

See you at home.

Yeah. Yeah, you will.

-Dishy, ain't he?

-DOOR OPENS

Oh, here she is, the birthday girl!

Hardly a girl!

Are you here to use your voucher?

May I use this in conjunction with my pensioner's discount?

Oh, you don't need a discount. Gabriel's bought you

the Number 18 Rolls-Royce Package. That's a full restyle, manicure,

-pedicure, the works.

-Oh, lucky me!

Take a wee seat, we'll get you set.

Right...

Is it a special birthday?

Every birthday that comes round these days is a miracle,

isn't it, Liz?

Well, I'll still not be able to catch up with you, Molly.

Only by a few months.

Ha!

Right, what are we doing?

Och, just the usual will be fine, Robbie.

It's a bit late for major transformations at her age!

Aye, you would know!

This young lady is an inspiration.

If a young man in his thirties wants to treat me

in my twilight years, I'll be taking him for all it's worth.

It all depends on the man and his motives.

Ah, won't care!

'Right.'

Liz is safely out the way for a good couple of hours at the salon.

And Gina and Eileen are all set.

Good man.

Stella, over here.

What is it?

Malcolm. He wants to throw a party for Liz.

She says she doesn't want any fuss made.

She's trying to make out that she thinks she's past it.

There's nothing past that one!

You were the one caught selling moonshine on licensed premises.

You're lucky Lenny gave you your job back.

Oh, so much for family solidarity!

I'm not quite sure, but I'd like to spoil her, in some way.

You know, and make her feel special.

Every lassie likes that.

Another night in The Tall Ship. Whoopee(!)

Hey. It's no' going to be like that.

She was a teenager in what, the '50s?

So how about a wee rock and roll-themed night?

I think she was more into the jazz scene.

Classical jazz, like the '20s, the '30s.

Right, well, why don't we throw a cocktail party?

All the men could wear suits

and the women could wear evening dresses.

-And I can download some music.

-Nice one.

Oh, and we can do that back room up into one of those thingmis,

-what d'you call them...?

-A speakeasy.

-Speakeasy!

Aye, where they used to drink the moonshine?

I'd really like it if somebody did something like that for me.

Well, it was your idea.

-What do you think, Malcolm?

-Just the ticket.

Gabriel?

Stevie and Stella seem to have it all worked out.

Right, well, I've got this meeting thing with a rep,

that probably will go on.

So, can I leave you to jazz up that back room?

-Sure.

-Good man.

Excuse me a wee minute.

Stevie?

That was a great idea of Stella's, eh? The old cocktail party.

Aye. Smart lassie, that one.

Normally.

So, have you any idea how many folk you've got coming tonight?

Stevie, I know.

I don't know what you're talking about.

If I've picked up the signals, it won't be long before wee Bob does.

That's what I'm talking about.

So, are you going to let her know,

-are you going to keep it as a surprise?

-Well, what do you think?

Me? I think birthdays should hold some surprises. Eh, Stella?

-Aye.

-Ah, well, maybe you're right.

We get on, we have a laugh. That's it. Bob's a mate.

I'm no' gonnae make anything worse than what it already is.

-Hey, she's got a lot more to lose than you have.

-I know.

-And I don't want to see her hurt.

-Gabriel, I could never do that.

I've been there, Stevie.

I know how this works out, remember.

Aye, all right!

But listen, we're nothing like you and Leyla.

We're no' looking for anything heavy, all right?

So, what are you saying? That you can walk away at any time?

Any time.

< All right, lads?

All right, Malc.

We were just discussing a few things about the party.

Right, I haven't got a lot on me

but I'd like to put some money behind the bar.

I tell you what - I'll match whatever you put down.

I'm sure we all want to do right by the lady in question.

Good. Right then, that's me off.

Don't we?

FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

How's it going?

Numbers and spreadsheets aren't my thing.

Well, I sometimes do the books for Bob.

-Do you want me to give you a hand?

-No.

Sorry.

I saw Gabriel following you out.

He was having a word.

He won't say anything, Stevie.

He better no'.

I don't want to wreck things for you.

What, or be the bad guy?

D'you know...

I feel like I've landed on my feet, living and working here.

I mean, come on, Stella, me? A manager?

I don't want to lose it now.

You won't.

You're dead good at your job.

I'm just making it up as I go along.

You're no' the only one.

There we go, Scarlett.

That's from me and Malcolm, for Liz's party.

I've got a couple of good ideas on how to spend this.

I can imagine. But it's Liz's birthday, remember.

-It's no' a hen night.

-Doesn't stop us from having some good old-fashioned fun.

Hey! That money is for food and drink. Nothing else.

What can I get you, doll?

I'm Annabel Taylor. I'm here to see your manager, Stephen Burns.

-He was just there?

-He's upstairs, getting ready for the meeting.

-I'll give him a shout.

-I'll track him down.

No, no, no customers up the stairs. You keep an eye on the bar.

I don't know what on earth's happened to Stella.

Do you know what would be good?

If you could get away and we could spend the night.

What?

I don't mean here.

Maybe a hotel or something.

No, that's not going to happen.

It was just an idea.

Stevie, that drink rep's here. >

Two minutes!

-I hope you're ready for her!

-Aye, let's go.

-She's very hot, by the way.

-Scarlett, this is a business meeting.

-That's what they all say!

-Right, c'mon, let's no' keep her waiting.

-Have you seen Stella?

-No.

She's gonnae be busy with all that decorating.

-She was going to ask you for some time off.

-She never mentioned anything to me.

Right, come on, let's get back downstair.

Miss Taylor.

Annabel.

-You did know I was coming?

-Aye, aye. Of course.

Sorry, just give me a minute, I need to...

-What?

-Well, nothing. No, I was just...

thinking about Liz's party. What needs to be done.

Aye, me an' all. Coffees?

No, I'm buzzing, as it is. You?

-Yes, please.

-Coming up.

-I understand that we're both fairly new to this?

-Aye.

As my spreadsheets are sure to prove!

Come on, let's get a seat.

-I thought you must've nipped home.

-No, I was at the toilet.

Why? I was waiting for fireworks there,

when the mother-in-law went up the stairs.

I better go put these out, before they use the glasses.

Stella, wait!

< STEVIE: So how was your drive in?

Should you no' be sorting stuff out with Gina and Eileen for the night?

All right, all right, I'm going.

< Aye, sure, sure, fire away.

< In order.

Hiya. Hello. Aye.

I was wondering if youse have got anyone available for tonight?

Mm-hm. Aye, and how much would it cost?

-Well, the sales are certainly up since you took over.

-Aye?

Well, me and the team must be doing something right, then, eh?

I'll introduce you.

-Don't mind us, Stevie.

-Yeah, just pretend we're not here, eh?

-Private party tonight.

-Am I holding you up?

What? Don't be daft.

No' when I can get everybody else to do the hard work for me!

Stevie, there's another couple of boxes at the door.

Gonnae bring them in, eh? Come on, chop chop.

Scarlett will string Stevie up if he comes between you and Bob.

He's not going to.

Look, we're no' looking for anything serious.

We both know the rules.

Is it worth the risk? All the sneaking about?

I feel terrible, Gabriel, but...

Bob doesn't seem to want to know me any more.

He's lost all his get up and go.

He used to be like...

Stevie.

-Hey, that's no' fair!

-Ha-ha, I win.

No, ye don't!

Well, maybe he's found it again.

Good luck.

What are youse two up to?

Well, Madonna bet me a bar of chocolate that I couldn't

go from the house to the shop without stepping on any cracks.

I lost.

That's cos girls are better than boys, sure they are?

-No, they're no'.

-Yes, they are.

-No, they're no'!

Suits them, doesn't it?

What?

Bob and Stella with a wee kiddie.

Be nice if they could have one of their own one day, eh?

Right, I bet you can't go the rest of the way without

stepping on any more cracks.

Genius, man. Right, c'mon. On you get.

Come on, Madonna, go on my back. We'll be late for the show.

-All right, Raymond?

-What show?

There's an animal expert over at the community centre.

-I'm on my way to get Stuart.

-Oh, right, are you taking Madonna?

Aye, Jimmy got an airport job, so...

-Well, what about the flat?

-I've already made a start.

I could take the pair of them, if you want?

Nah, I couldn't let Madonna down now, couldn't I no'?

I'll only be an hour.

-I'll see you over there, eh?

-Aye.

-See you later.

-And leave the heavy stuff for me, all right?

-OK.

-See you.

Right, come on, wee yin.

All right, Stella? Fancy a butler in the buff?

-A what?

-A naked butler. For tonight, for Liz's.

Gabriel will kill you, Scarlett.

-I didn't know Bob was looking after Madonna today?

-Nice.

That's nice! He doesn't get time with his sister.

Aye, but the house is a pure riot.

It's nowhere near ready for getting painted.

Ask Stevie for the day off.

< LAUGHTER

No' that he'd notice, mind.

I mean, we offer incentives, you know, for our top-selling managers.

I think last month's winner got tickets for a Celtic game.

-Nice one.

-Excuse me...

Oh, sorry, Stella. Did you want that dirty cup?

No, Stevie, I didn't.

I wanted to ask you if I could have some time off.

Can we talk about it later?

I was kind of needing to go now, if that's all right?

We've got Liz's cocktail party the night.

We're doing a promotion on cocktails this month.

That might be a good chance to test it out.

Great idea.

Can I have the time off or no'?

Look, take tomorrow. Avoid the clean-up.

I was talking to my manager.

Can you wait till I finish this meeting?

Stella?

Could you hunt out some cocktail glasses,

shot glasses for this promotion?

Aye, nae bother.

If that's what you want to use Liz's party for.

There's some space down the front. >

OK.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

I'd like to welcome Barry and Keith, who both have very exciting jobs.

Now, can put your hand up if you can guess where they work?

-Madonna?

-The zoo.

That's right. They both work at the zoo,

where they look after all the creepy crawlies you're going to see today.

Now, I know some of you have pets at home,

but I don't think many of you will have pets like this.

Now, Keith tells me that even the slimiest, hairiest,

spikiest creature can be your friend.

Are you sure about that?

Would anyone like to take a closer look at our corn snake?

Ladies, first, wee man.

No, no, if wee Stuart wants to go up, that's cool.

We can see fine from here, it's OK.

Aw, come on.

I'm sure Keith will let you hold it if you want.

It's no' like I haven't dealt with poisonous snakes before, is it?

Come on, you coward.

Ooh!

LENNY LAUGHS

HE CLUCKS

Listen, I don't think tonight's the right night for this

cocktail promotion. You see, it's, kind of,

a special occasion. Nice older couple

and the husband wants to surprise his wife.

Are you being nice or letting your barmaid make the decisions?

-She was right.

-Ach, well, it's nice you listen to her.

I started my career behind the bar.

How about I help out at this party tonight?

Business or pleasure?

Business. I think I've got enough free samples in the boot of my car,

it could get things going.

And as it's a private party, you could offer the first drink on the house. How does that sound?

Amazing.

I think you're wanted.

Sorry, excuse me.

What's up?

Have you got a minute?

No' really. What is it?

-Doesn't matter. It's not important.

-Nicole...

I'll catch up with you later, doll, right?

Girlfriend?

-Ex.

-Ah.

-Working in a pub. Makes it hard to maintain a relationship.

-Aye.

Unless you happen to meet someone in the same business.

Oh, I didn't mean anything by that.

I mean, not that you've not been great to work with.

Professionally, I mean.

I've heard you're a bit of a tough cookie!

I've had to be. Some of the managers I've had to deal with.

But you, you've been different.

-Me?

-Mm-hm.

-That's cos I make it up as I go along.

THEY LAUGH

Make a good pair, don't they?

Excuse me a wee second.

Stella, good news.

You can go.

Annabel's offered to help out. She's giving us freebies

and she's even offered to mix the cocktails herself.

Good for her.

But you can still come as a guest. I'm sure Liz would love to see you.

I'll need to check with Bob first. But, doubt it.

I'll head home and get changed into something a wee bit more appropriate

and I'll pop back later to set up.

I really appreciate it.

See you, darling. >

Oh, you're right in there, son!

HE TUTS

Listen, thanks for letting Stella go.

Although I'm not happy about her moving all that furniture.

No' with her and Bob trying, you know.

How, where's he?

Well, he thought Stella was working.

So he's spending some time with Madonna.

Here, you don't fancy popping over and giving her a hand, do you?

Yes, dear?

Now it's time to meet Gloria.

Gloria's small and furry and soft, and some people scream

when they see her. But you're not going to scream, are you?

-ALL:

-No!

That's a tarantula.

Callum's grandad is right.

Here, Murray. Maybe we should find a brave volunteer

to show Gloria that we're just as friendly as she is?

How about your grandad, Callum?

Would he like to hold her?

Eh? No, actually I've got to get him home. Come on, son.

-We've all had a turn.

-What do you want, a medal?

Aye, come on. I mean, you're bigger AND uglier than her!

Your grandad's not got a problem with spiders, has he, Callum?

Well, if you're not up for the challenge.

Right.

Bring it on.

You all right, Gloria?

Listen, your granda's got a wee confession to make.

But we've got to keep it secret, just between you and me, eh?

See, I didn't really want to handle the spider there.

Cos spiders and your granda, they don't really get on.

I was a bit scared.

But when the man put her into my hand,

I realised there was nothing to be worried about. Eh?

It's just sometimes you think things are going to be worse

than they actually are. But they're not.

You know, like spiders and going into the hospital.

You find everything turns out fine.

Hm?

So you don't worry about anything.

Hello, you two.

What's that I can see on your face, Cal? Is that a smile?

Do you want to eat that?

Course you can. That's amazing.

He wants to eat food. Proper food.

What can I say? I'm better at this than you.

-Eh, you've got a spider on your jacket.

-Eh?

So?

We're not scared of spiders, are we?

In fact, we're not scared of anything, at all.

Really?

Really.

STELLA SIGHS

Bob...

BUZZER

-You shouldn't be here.

-Scarlett sent me.

-Are you on your own?

-Scarlett?

Aye, well, she said you needed some help moving furniture.

Well, I thought you were too busy at the pub.

Do you want help or no'?

I can manage on my own!

The point is, you shouldn't have to.

Where are we? Through there?

No, in the living room.

You all right, pal?

-Working late?

-Aye.

Listen, I'm organising a wee night in the pub tonight for Liz.

It's her birthday.

-Is it?

-Aye, kind of fancy dress. Stella came up with the theme.

So I'm sorry if it ruins your evening.

-Well, if Stella ends up having to stay late.

-It's nae bother.

Look, why don't you come along?

At least that way youse can get to spend some time together.

If she has to work, she has to work.

Look, why don't you try putting your foot down?

Say to Stevie youse both need some time off together.

Stella's capable of standing up for herself. I don't want to interfere.

Well, maybe it's time that you did.

Look, your wife works two jobs. So she deserves a wee bit of fun.

You know, it might do you good. To get out. Socialise.

Unless there's some big attraction to hanging about this place

-all night.

-What is this?

It's an invitation. That's all.

I'll think about it, all right?

You do that.

We were supposed to be getting the whole place done.

But apparently, it's too expensive.

-It's a pricey business.

-This is the last thing I need just now.

Well, one room's better than nothing, isn't it?

Bob said he'd make a start. But he tidied up the wrong room.

Once you fire sheets over everything, it'll be fine.

Right...

we should get this out the way as well, eh?

No, leave it.

-Where do you want me to put it?

-I said, leave it.

All right.

What are you doing here, anyway?

I'm helping.

Aye, well, that's not your job.

I'll leave it to your husband, then, shall I?

What? First you're defending him, now you're putting him down?

Well, I could say the same.

I saw you with him and Madonna earlier.

All happy and holding hands.

Aye, well, that was for her benefit, no' mine.

He can make an effort with everybody, apart from me.

And anyway, me and you, playing houses

-and talking about weekends away, that's no' what we're about.

-What are we about, then, eh?

A fling? No strings?

That'd suit you, wouldn't it?

Sounds like you're blaming me, Stella.

I'm no' the one that's married here.

No. You're free and single and ready to charm the next lassie

-that'll flutter her eyelashes at you.

-Why should that bother you?

It doesn't. You can go out with her, if you want.

Aye, maybe I will. Instead of messing about with my mate's wife.

Forget it. I don't need this.

Neither do I.

Well, fine.

You're on your own.

Stevie!

All right, mate.

Hardly seen you since you became the manager.

Oh, aye. It's been pretty full-on, pal.

Fancy a wee catch up, grab a pint?

I cannae, mate, I've got loads to do.

Well, once you've finished whatever you're doing,

I'll be in the pub, anyway.

-Right? See you, mate. Raymond.

-All right, son?

Here, Stevie. What do you think's braver, right?

Handling a snake or handling a spider?

What?

Raymond, I really couldn't tell you, man.

What's up?

Have you got a minute?

Sure. Will we go to the pub?

No, Oyster.

-CAR HORN BLARES

-Hey, whoa.

Is this not Stevie's job?

Or is he giving it the big "I am", now that he's manager?

I've sent him over to Stella's.

-What for?

-Bubba was busy. Stella needed help moving furniture.

Soon as he gets back, I need to nip home and get on my glad rags.

Because tonight's going to be a good night.

SHE CHUCKLES

MOBILE RINGS

Scarlett?

Sca...

Hello, Scarlett's phone.

What booking for tonight?

No, it's all right, you can tell me. I'm in charge.

I've been having this...thing.

..with this woman.

My track record there is nothing to aspire to.

She's no' exactly free.

Oh...

Boyfriend?

-Husband.

-Oof!

Do you know him?

He's a mate.

Stevie, you don't do that to a mate.

I know. I didn't set out to,

I really didn't, it just...

Happened?

What should I do?

Stop, and tell her it's over.

And that's no' what you want to hear now, is it?

We just had this sort of fight.

About what?

Wasn't exactly about anything.

You want to tell me who it is?

Aye, I do.

But you can't?

Why am I making things so complicated for myself?

Exactly.

Cos whatever way you look at it,

someone's got to lose.

All right.

Just remembered that we needed some milk.

My ma was telling me that Stevie was helping out.

Remind me to thank him, eh?

Have you eaten anything?

Not since lunch. Just had a quick pint.

What, on your own?

Why did you no' just stay there?

Did your ma not say to you, they're having a party for Liz?

There's going to be a bit of food and that.

I thought we could make a night of it.

I don't think I'd be in the mood.

Well, can we no' just go for a wee bit?

-Then just go for dinner, to the pictures or something?

-I'd probably end up falling asleep.

Well, I'd really like to go.

You should.

-What, on my own?

-I don't mind.

Right, OK.

Look, I'll finish up at the flat.

Right, I better go find something to wear, then.

Is this OK?

You look nice.

The rest of the drinks are inside.

Your barmaid Scarlett, she's volunteered herself as a guinea pig

-to taste the cocktails.

-Aye, I bet she has!

I didn't argue. I wouldn't like to cross her, drunk or sober.

-No.

-D'you know, I'm really looking forward to this.

I've not had a night off for... since I started the job.

Out to impress and all that.

It's no' exactly a night off for you, though, is it?

Maybe after, though, we could have a drink or something.

Are you sure?

Well, I'm not worried about mixing business with pleasure

if you're no'.

-Neither of us are tied down.

-Well, I know I'm not.

I get the impression your life might be a bit...messy.

Me?

Nah. Free as a bird.

Exes coming and going, female bar staff not too happy about me

-taking up your time.

-They're just mates.

I'm not sure you're the kind of guy that can do being mates

with a woman. So, for us, strictly business, eh?

I took your advice.

I've walked away.

And how easy was it?

Gabriel, who am I trying to kid here?

How the hell did it come to this?

I knew what I was getting myself into.

I knew she wasn't available.

No doubt in my mind she'd ever leave him.

I never thought I'd want her to...

Do you love her?

Well, too bad if I do. Because she loves Bob.

She practically threw me out her flat earlier.

And what does that tell you?

-That she hates me.

-For what?

For showing her what was going wrong in her marriage?

-Making her feel good about herself?

-And where does that leave me?

It leaves you knowing if you go back to her, you know,

you see it through, then you better be deadly serious.

Because you stand to lose Bob and a whole lot more.

Are you saying I should go for it?

All I'm saying is, I want to see Stella happy.

Everybody deserves that.

You know Stella.

Do you think I should tell her?

That's your call.

Only you can decide that.

I would've been happy with dinner at home.

Did you book a table?

Oh, I think we'll be all right.

Well, they do get busy sometimes.

Right, darling. Right, we need to keep you under wraps

before the big reveal.

Now that's what I call money well spent.

So you can get dressed.

-Or undressed!

-SHE GIGGLES

JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

CHATTERING

Here we go.

-ALL:

-Surprise!

APPLAUSE

-My God!

-There we go.

-What's all this?

-Just a little of what you deserve.

Oh, my goodness! I don't know what to say.

Well, I know you said you wanted a quiet night but...

But my husband knew me better, eh?

-ALL:

-Aw!

I couldn't have done it on my own, though.

So what do you think?

Oh, it's wonderful. Everybody looks fantastic.

Aye, well, I know this is Prohibition,

but what do you have to do to get a drink round here?

Dry martini or a gin fizz?

Ooh! Might get around to both!

-Well, it's your night, Liz. Anything goes.

-Dear...

Well, we'll have one of each if we could swap halfway through!

SHE LAUGHS

She's going to think all her birthdays have come at once.

And why would that be?

Oh, all will be revealed soon enough.

What's up wi' you?

You don't usually miss a chance to get all dressed up.

I cannae stay long.

You'll want to stay long enough to see Liz's present.

Stevie?

Are you on your way to see me? You said...

No, I'm just gonnae...

What are you doing out here?

I was just walking.

I must've lost track of time.

Look at you, you're freezing. You should go home.

-Have you got time to talk to me just now?

-Not really, no.

Look, I'll catch up with you in the next few days, all right?

Stevie, I think I'm pregnant.

# Turn the tables on me

# And now I'm falling for you... #

Isn't that lovely? Very sophisticated.

-Oh, cheers.

-Cheers!

-Ooh!

-Ooh!

Is it a raid?

CHEERS

Here we go!

GIGGLING

Dear, oh...

APPLAUSE

Do we all get a shot?!

It's just the warm-up. Wait until you see the real floor show.

-GINA:

-Dad's getting jealous!

He does a bit of quick-step, a bit of samba, salsa,

whatever Liz fancies.

What are you talking about? I booked a butler in the buff.

APPLAUSE

-Maybe the test didn't work.

-I haven't done a test.

You haven't?

How can I get one round here?

Leyla works in the health centre.

And I can't go to the corner shop without 20 questions off Zinnie.

Well, maybe it's not happening, then. You can't tell for sure.

I'm never this late.

And I feel so sick.

Even if you are...

What?

Who's the da'?

-How can you even ask that?

-How can I no'?

What about that guy you've been hanging about wi'?

The one with the stupid name.

That's finished. I'm not even with him any more.

Well, let's face it...

you only had to have been with him for a couple of minutes.

Nicole, wait.

I wouldn't have come looking for you if I wasn't sure it was yours.

I know you don't want anything else to do with me.

This must be your worst nightmare.

Put this round you.

What am I going to do?

I'll buy a test. We'll do it together.

Leyla and the boys are at home.

Well, you go and wait in the flat in the pub.

Just go in the side door.

SAMBA MUSIC PLAYS

Such an interesting young man!

Apparently, he's putting himself through university.

As long as you're enjoying yourself. That's the main thing.

Oh, I am, I am.

So...forgiven?

Forgiven.

Too much competition for you, son, eh?

Will's expecting me. And I'm up early tomorrow.

-Aye, you young ones, you're just lightweights!

-Aye.

Oh, hiya, gorgeous.

Hiya.

OK?

Aye, I didn't know if I could make it. But...

But you're here.

Wee Bob?

No, he had to stay home and...

Well, he didn't want to come.

Where's Stevie? He should be here.

I'll go and get him.

Whoa! >

Stevie?

Erm, he's not here.

OK.

Sorry. I'll...

He'll be back soon.

But we could really use some privacy.

What did you want?

Nothing.

Well, he was needed down the stair, but it's fine. I can help.

I'll see you later.

I thought you weren't coming back tonight.

No, I wasn't.

Nicole's in there.

I know.

Looking dead cosy in your jacket.

HE TUTS

She was cold.

Right.

Did you find Stevie? He's missing all the fun.

I don't think so. He had company.

Oh, aye, that rep? He was flirting with her all morning.

No, it was Nicole.

He's back with Nicole?

Oh, I cannae keep up!

JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

Right, I've had a quick read.

You do your business on the wee stick.

Or I could get you a cup.

I know how to do it.

I've done a few before, when we were going out.

You never said.

Can I use the bathroom?

Aye. Just through there.

I know where it is.

Good luck!

Stella.

I nearly made the stupidest mistake of my life earlier on.

You were right.

I need to protect myself.

Look after what I've got.

Good.

Come here.

It's positive.

We're going to have a baby.

It's OK. I don't expect anything from you.

Don't be daft.

You don't have to go through this on your own.

Come here.

Most guys in your position would run for the hills.

I'll be there for you, every step of the way.

There's a baby inside me.

We made a mistake, Leyla, that's all.

All these mistakes!

We know it's no' the best news you've ever had!

But it's happened now, so there's no point getting angry about it.

What d'you mean, standing by her?

You trying to say he's got Nicole pregnant?

Hopefully, things'll work out better in the long run.

Now that Stella's going to try and work things out with Bob.

What?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd