Episode 3 The A Word

The nearest specialist school that's got a space is in Manchester.

If you want to stay over with me, the offer's there.

Might be worth trying to get back together.

I'm seeing someone.

I'm not going to get stuck here.

Another few weeks isn't going to kill us, is it?

I've just seen Sophie's Mark

have a meltdown that'll make your hair curl.

Joe isn't Mark, though.

Not yet he's not, no.

-So, Ralph knows?

-Not that it's cancer, no.

Let me help. At least let me drive you to the hospital.

No, no, no!

MUSIC: She Bangs The Drums by The Stone Roses

# I can feel the earth begin to move

# I hear my needle hit the groove

# And spiral through another day

# I hear my song begin to say

# Kiss me where the sun don't shine

# The past was yours

# But the future's mine

# You're all out of time

# I don't feel too steady on my feet

# I feel hollow, I feel weak

# Passion fruit and holy bread... #

-Good morning!

-Good morning!

-Did you sleep all right, Joe?

-Joe slept all right.

Here's the kitchen.

All...in place.

Living room.

All still here.

Oh, look!

There's Kim.

And Kanye.

Where's Baby Emily?

HE KNOCKS ON DOOR

-Hi, Joe.

-There's Baby Emily!

Hard to get to know, but impossible to forget.

-Don't be late for work, Ralph.

-No.

I might be late tonight so there's a cottage pie in the fridge.

You can microwave it. 8 minutes on 750.

-I've written it down.

-I know.

And don't let Maurice boss you about too much.

Whoa, great view.

Tidier than normal. Something tells me Mum's got time on her hands.

I can confirm I do all my own housework.

He's lying. He's got a Puerto Rican houseboy that does for him.

There's an image I'll have to live with till my dying day.

-Well, enjoy tonight.

-Why? What's happening?

-The gig,

Sophie and her boy. You said you'd take them.

-Oh, yeah, that.

-Don't let them down.

Well, obviously, I won't.

Joe? Is he still there? Joe, I'll see you tomorrow.

And then, listen, when we come back on Friday,

because you've been so brilliant,

I'm going to get you a great big present. How about that?

The school said we weren't to bribe him.

What do you want, Joe? Anything at all. Anything you like.

-A goat.

-Ah, what kind of coat?

No. A goat. With horns.

Good luck with that. Bye!

Why aren't you at the hospital?

It's Mum's first chemo!

Hang on. You know? You're not supposed to know.

When did she tell you?

I read the letter from the hospital. I'm not thick.

-Right. Well, your mum thinks you don't know.

-She wants you there.

She told me not to go.

You don't understand women, do you?

Eh, you better be right about this.

Have you seen James this morning?

No. I heard the door go earlier.

He must've gone into town.

Oh, hey, if you and him fancy a shift tonight, they'll need you.

I've got to take Sophie and her lad to that gig.

Try and look a bit cheerier about it, will you?

You haven't seen Mark when he goes off on one.

I'm just going to have to do a bit of dad dancing, aren't I?

Eh? Create a diversion.

PHONE NOTIFICATION

So, we'll do your IV steroids and your anti-sickness first

and you'll have some tablets to take home.

You know you're allowed to bring someone to be with you.

Yes. I can feel a space. Just here.

-It doesn't feel tight enough.

-All right. Let's have another go.

-That better?

-Well, no.

But at least it finally feels like it's on right.

They always give me the awkward ones, I don't know why.

All right?

It's like the worst ice cream headache ever.

Worth it to try and keep your hair, though.

Can you just confirm your name and date of birth?

Louise Wilson. Fourth of the fourth, 1964.

NURSE TALKS TO PATIENT

-What time they fire you out of the cannon?

-Go away.

Wasn't my idea to come here, you know, it was Ralph's.

Ralph? You told Ralph? You bastard! You promised me.

I didn't tell Ralph. He worked it out for himself.

He's been reading your hospital letters.

-No. No chance. Ralph couldn't keep a secret. Not from me.

-He could.

-Cos he has.

-Just go, Maurice, will you?

You won't know I'm here.

-I really didn't.

-I thought I wouldn't know you were here.

You like to keep busy, don't you?

It's kind of your way of coping with the absence of love

-or interest in your life.

-I...what?

Can you cover my pensioners' keep-fit class this lunchtime?

A drugs rep is trying to bribe me with lunch and opium.

No. I'm doing my presentation today.

About the better handling of patients on the autism spectrum.

That's today, is it? Funny, it wasn't mentioned on the news.

So, you'll have to cancel your pensioners' keep-fit class.

It's no great loss. Although the star jumps are amusing.

These presentations of yours,

do you deliver them as yourself or do you warm up for a bit

in front of a live audience?

I'm no paediatrician, but shouldn't that be the other way round?

Becky? Are you OK? Is it Emily?

Emily's fine. Emily has nothing but love in her life.

-Emily's fine.

-Hey.

He walks out on me and tells me by text.

I'm better than that. A text.

People just find it hard to tell each other the truth face-to-face.

You don't.

I know. And look where that got me.

When Eddie left, the first thing I did was buy a bread maker.

We've already got a bread maker.

My point is it kept me busy. You need to keep busy.

Cry as much as you like.

And don't text him in the middle of the night with questions

about when he stopped loving you. And don't think about

what you should've said and didn't say. But mainly keep busy,

and don't play any music that you had together,

not for at least a year. OK?

-OK.

-Are you sure you're going to be all right with Emily today?

Yeah. I can cry when she does and then nobody will hear me.

That's the spirit!

-How's the cold cap?

-Not good. I'm shivering all over.

What you want to do is wear thermals.

It's only your head that needs to be cold.

Thanks, that's a good idea, thank you.

It's what Sandra did after her third bout.

Right. Well, thank you.

If you feel dizzy or flushed, like, just shout.

-Yes. I will. Thank you.

-It can be a bastard, that Epirubicin.

-They call it the Red Devil.

-Hi, Maurice.

Hi, Jude. I know Jude from before.

When the Epirubicin kicks in, tell me straightaway

if you feel any stinging or pain around the vein.

If I can get a word in edgeways, yes, I will.

I'm all over it, don't worry on that score.

It can leak outside the vein so we've got to keep an eye on it.

No, we don't. I do.

Yeah. That's what I was driving at.

Because you won't be here.

What?

-Get out, Maurice.

-How do you mean, like?

Go somewhere else. Anywhere else. Just get out.

I am not putting up with you taking over.

-Fair enough.

-Thank you.

-Cos it can make you irritable, the chemo.

Message understood.

It's not the chemo that's making me irritable.

I'm on steroids, don't think I won't throw you out if I have to!

MUSIC: Middle Of The Road by The Pretenders

# Oh-oh-oh-oh

# Oh-oh-oh-oh

# Oh-oh-oh-oh

# Oh-oh-oh-oh

# The middle of the road is trying to find me

# I'm standing in the middle of life... #

Hi, Ed. It's me. Thought we might have lunch.

I'm a bit busy just now. So it's probably a no.

Busy doing what, exactly?

In order to extract the words from sound waveforms,

we need to turn to Deep Neural Networks,

where each layer of the network extracts specific features

of the data until we're left with the individual words...

# Oh, come on now

# In the middle of the road, yeah. #

I am still allowed to give you a lift, I take it?

-Can you stop yourself talking?

-I'll give it a go.

Louise?

Thank you, Maurice.

I'll come round later and see how you are, if you like.

No, you won't.

Now Ralph knows, he can sort me out.

At the risk of getting my head bitten off,

have you got all the numbers for the hospital in case you feel like shit?

I already feel like shit so I probably won't bother

to call them and tell them that.

Sorry.

Thank you, Maurice.

Let's just chalk this one up to experience and not ever do it again.

-Hey?

-That's the steroids talking.

-So, you know, then?

-Yeah.

Not you too, Ralph, for God's sake.

I'm sorry, all right?

-I'm sorry. I should've told you.

-Yeah. You should.

So, what do you want to ask me? You can ask me anything you like.

-Are you going to die?

-No. I'm not going to die.

They got the cancer early and that's why I'm having the chemo.

It will make me ill, but in the end, it will make me better.

If you do die, am I still going to live here?

Yes. If that's what you like. But I'm not going to die.

-What about Maurice?

-What about him?

He's all right, but I don't want him to be my Dad.

Don't worry. That's not going to happen.

But...

..I...am...not...going...to die.

Good.

Anything else?

No.

I was riveted by your lecture today.

-Can't wait to hear what happens next.

-Ha! Ha!

Nothing for me, by the way. I'm going out tonight.

Oh. Right.

OK.

Erm, in fact, I might not be back tonight.

I mean, I might be, but I might not be.

-Erm, I don't know. Depends.

-Oh. Right.

-What's that supposed to mean?

-What? Nothing. Nothing at all.

INTERCOM BUZZES

-I'll get it.

-No. No! I'll go down.

-Hello?

-Er, it's Holly.

-Oh, hi, Holly. He's not quite ready yet.

Do you want to come up?

BUZZER

I preferred the other one.

So, this is my sister, Alison. And that's Joe.

I thought it must be you.

It's hardly going to be "the other woman", is it?

-This is Eddie we're talking about, after all.

-Shall we go?

Not that Eddie isn't an attractive man if he isn't,

-you know, your brother.

-But not the kind of man to have lovers.

-Exactly.

In his flat. Answering the entry phone to his girlfriend.

That doesn't sound like Eddie at all. I agree.

-Oh, he's had a long day at school.

-I'm sure he has.

And he's on the spectrum so clearly some of those

behaviours will become more pronounced now that he's tired.

Shall we go? I don't want to be late.

For what?

Oh, I see. You just want to leave.

You've probably set off already, but if you haven't, then call me.

Eddie is dating a woman just like Nicola!

I know you won't believe it right now, but it will get better.

-I promise.

-Why do people say that?

Well, because we've all had our hearts broken, love.

-Not like this, you've not.

-No. No. Not like this.

Although Patricia Martin came close.

She turned up at our date and said, "Ooh.

"When I said yes on the phone, I didn't know it were you."

Every time I take my clothes off, I'm reminded of him.

Probably a little more than your dad needs to hear.

No. The tattoo. I see the tattoo!

Oh, right, yeah. Well, I know one thing.

I cannot go to this gig with Sophie

and Mark tonight with you in this state.

No. You should go. I'll be fine.

You mean I can't use my daughter's heartbreak as an excuse

-to wriggle out of it?

-No. Certainly not.

It's worth a try though, hey?

He finished with her by text?

-Yeah.

-At least he told her.

Most lads just change their Facebook status.

It's a brutal world. Then there's the tattoo, of course.

In fairness, James is quite a common name for that generation

-so she will have some choice.

-Good point.

All right?

-They're best mates. Hence the silence.

-Right.

Have they been to a gig before?

Yeah.

We all have. I'm not just springing it on them.

No.

Sorry.

Right.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Where does his other mate live?

CHATTERING, MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

-Great, isn't it?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you want a drink?

No, no, no, I've been waiting ages! Sorry!

Three Diet Cokes, a lager, half an IPA and some crisps, please.

No! Mark! Mark. I need your help carrying, mate!

TO HIS FRIEND: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whoa!

That's half my pint on the floor, mate.

Thanks for that!

It's all right, eh, eh, eh, eh! It's fine!

No harm done, hey, sorry! Mark!

You all right?

Here, you take them. Thanks.

What was the worst thing that could've happened?

The world's full of lads who spill other men's pints. So...

Thanks for coming. I know you got railroaded into it.

Oh, no, no. No, it's fine.

CHEERING

Oh, eh, eh, careful! What... What happens next?

What happens is we enjoy ourselves.

FRONTMAN: This one's called Easy Peeler.

# Whoa!

# Whoa!

# Jumped up on anti-histamine

# I see her sometimes in my dreams

# Her words taste just like tangerines

# So sweet they leave me queasy feeling

# Shot me with her future gun

# And told me that I was the one

# She kissed me quick with painted lips

# And bought me £2 cheesy chips

# Whoa!

# She's so easy

# Easy peeler... #

-Hiya.

-Hello. Thought you were out for the night.

-Don't start.

-I'm not. I wasn't.

-Good.

-So what went wrong?

-Nothing went wrong. We've both got work in the morning.

-Oh!

So, what was it, then? Little knee trembler at the bus stop.

I'm not indulging this.

-Her words or yours?

-We have been having this conversation

since I was 14 years of age. When are you going to stop?

When you stop taking the bait.

So, is it not happening with Holly, then?

I don't mean the sex. Although that is a fairly strong indicator

-that it's not happening.

-I've just...

..forgotten what it's like to click, you know?

Maybe that's not how it works any more.

We both have to be patient. Or...

Maybe it's just a sign she doesn't fancy you.

-Yes.

-Maybe just a little bit hung up on Nicola?

No. No!

So why choose a woman just like her?

Holly? Is like Nicola? Are you joking?

She's the complete opposite.

Do you not see it? The tactless thing? The way she talks?

Eddie, you're dating your ex-wife. No wonder you're not having sex.

# She's got me dancing

# She's got me dancing

# She's got me dancing... #

Whoa!

It was the best night. It was the best night!

I mean, it was everything. It was...it was messy.

It was mad. I mean, it was just...

It was just everybody having the best night together, everybody,

and it was just like one great, heaving mass of joy!

Yes! Get it! Get it! It's just...

You sure you didn't take any drugs in the toilet back there?

# When will I, will I be famous... #

-Ooh, what's this?

-Dunno how that got in there.

-Really?

-Must be one of Joe's, that!

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

Not exactly Bros, I know, but I hope it meets your exacting standards.

Well, it's, you know, it's all right.

LOUD DRUMMING

Is he all right?

Sounds like he's playing the drums.

-He is playing the drums.

-Really?

-Yeah, really.

Oh, he's all right, in't he?

No idea where he gets it.

His dad had no sense of rhythm that I ever saw.

Does he still see his dad?

Yeah. Of course. He wasn't a bastard or anything.

We just couldn't handle Mark together. No. That's not fair.

I couldn't handle Mark with anybody else.

-Yeah, it's easier on your own sometimes, in't it?

-Simpler, anyway.

You can get as low as you like, but it only ever matters to me and him.

Nobody judging. Nobody advising.

Nobody criticising. Easier to be wrong when you're on your own.

Mark E Smith was actually good looking back then.

Looked a bit like, er, Johnny Cash.

Pasty Salford version, admittedly, but do you know what I mean?

-There's an album cover where he's...

-If I give you a biscuit

with your tea, will you promise to stop talking?

MUSIC: Right by Your Side by Eurythmics

Oh, you what?

# Give me two strong arms... #

Look at the arse on that!

-Oh, hey... Agh!

-You classically trained?

Don't interrupt an artist when he's in the moment.

# ..I forget myself

# I need to swing from limb to limb

# To relieve this mess I'm in... #

Here you go.

# ..when depression starts to win

# I need to be right by your side... #

SLOW GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC: Valery by Amy Winehouse

You're good from the waist down, but you hold your hands

like you're holding a tray.

Is that the sum total of your moves, then?

Well, if you have a roll of lino and a ghetto blaster,

-I can throw you a few back spins, if you want.

-Don't tempt me.

Thanks for tonight.

Thank you for the lift. And for being head bouncer.

Is this where we kiss?

Nah. I think we both know that's not on.

Yeah. Sorry.

Yeah, sorry.

That was stupid. I'm so sorry.

FRONT DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Look who I found lurking at the bus stop.

Eh! All right, Tom. This is a lovely surprise.

-I know.

-Don't pretend you didn't call him, Dad. Thank you.

Well, I thought if anybody had the wisdom you needed, it were Tom.

And with him being at art school, he's got bugger all else to do.

She's heartbroken, but then that's what she does best.

-You OK?

-Yeah. Just a bit knackered.

It's all that pogoing at your age. He's been to a gig.

Eurgh! Sorry, nothing personal, Mr Hughes.

Apart from your age.

Thank you.

And I think you can call me Paul from now on.

Oh, no, I don't think so.

You might want to start tagging along at the bus shelter.

Are we still here?

Yes. Is that OK?

I'll get breakfast moving.

Ralph?

How is she, your mum?

She's not going to die.

Oh, that's good.

I might go and see her later.

Good luck.

Thanks for the catch-up.

-I'll take her some flowers round, shall I?

-She doesn't like flowers.

Hiya.

Ooh...

Wow. What did I do to deserve that?

Agh! You don't have to question everything to death.

All right, touchy Jim.

It was nice.

Sorry. I...

I'm just a bit knackered. After the gig.

-Oh, yeah, how was it?

-Yeah, it was great.

Good. So, you're glad I pushed you into it?

Well, it's just the music.

I thought about Joe a lot.

Well, who knows what Joe'll be into when he's Mark's age, eh?

Well, I imagine that he'll still be into music.

I wasn't saying that he won't be.

Just that, you know, that we don't know.

Right, well, that was last night.

See you tomorrow.

Bye.

Where were you?

I was at home.

Where was I?

You were here.

-You were home.

-At our house. Yes.

And now you're here.

Hey! That's a lot of stickers.

I'm a superstar.

I already knew that.

I'm looking for some sort of rub.

That you rub on.

Yourself. And, er, other people, if they can't reach.

Like, what, Deep Heat?

Is it a muscle injury?

No. It's not like that.

It's something I could rub into a woman...to make her feel better.

If she's feeling a bit under the weather, and that. You know.

Oh. Right. I see. Massage oil.

Well, I wouldn't go that far.

-Have you got anything? You know...

-Peppermint foot cream?

That sounds great. That sounds right. That'll do.

I know you don't like flowers.

I hate to be critical of your massage action, Maurice.

But probably a bit more sensitive and a bit less

like you're rubbing Fiery Jack into a goalie's hamstring.

Right. I see. Er...

Now you've gone to the other extreme. Now you're basting.

Come here. Give me the bottle. I'll show you.

I've still got me boots on.

No, not on your feet. Come here.

SHE SIGHS

See?

Like this.

See?

-You all right?

-Well, to be honest, I did feel a bit of a stirring

in my glove compartment.

But, er, not that I'd make a move on you.

Things being how they are.

"Things" being me being on a course of chemotherapy for breast cancer?

Yes. Probably not a good time to make your move.

I wasn't going to make a move!

That's why I've come down this end.

With your feet.

I hope you're not suggesting my feet aren't sexually arousing.

-No, let's just...

-I am teasing you.

I'm very flattered that even in this state, you should be enamoured.

Or at least a significant part of you is.

Sorry, sorry, it's the steroids.

Dad?

You all right?

Did you hear James has done a runner? Walked out on Rebecca.

First good news I've had in a bit.

I agree with you.

But don't let Rebecca hear you say that, hey?

-I'm not going to pretend.

-Why not?

You spend your whole life pretending you're a hard man and look at you.

Pressing your head against a brick wall.

I was having a think. It helps me think.

That's what Joe says when he does it.

And I don't believe him, either.

So, it's about Louise, right?

What makes you say that?

You were right outside her house.

So, you seeing her again?

-Is there something I should know?

-What has it got to do with you?

Well, nothing, but if you're so upset, you can't even hide it

-in the street.

-Why do you want me to say I'm upset when I'm not?

Oh, God, do you know what, Dad. Just forget it, forget it.

I've just had Paul being pissy with me. And now you.

I've been staying away for three nights with Joe.

Driven back to be with my family.

I show a little bit of concern, you throw it back in my face.

If you don't want people to think you're upset, then don't go

all existential in the street, and move along

so you're not right outside your lover's house.

Or whatever she is. That way, I won't be sticking my nose

-in your business.

-She's got cancer.

Louise has got cancer and she's having chemo

and she doesn't want anyone to know about it.

There. Are you happy now? She's got cancer.

And I'm helping her out with it and that's all there is to it.

That's it! Good girl.

Oh, it's for Joe. A boy needs a bike.

Anyone would think you were looking for something to do.

-Just trying to make myself useful.

-And there's nothing for you at home

that you could be making yourself useful with?

-What's this?

-I found it. It's a nice one.

So I thought I'd frame it for you.

If you really want a project, I have just the job for you.

CAR REVS THEN BRAKES

Biting point. It's just a case of hitting that biting point.

-You'll get it in the end.

-Sorry. Sorry.

It's OK. It's OK. I mean, you're doing very well.

You're a really good teacher.

You never lose it and you never seem frightened.

Even when we were at that junction and that lorry was coming.

-Well, he had room to get past us so...

-Is it your faith?

Is it your faith that stops you being frightened?

No, uh, it's not my faith.

Oh, right. Well, you don't have to tell me.

I've got to spend the rest of my life without my wife...

and it's my fault.

That's more frightening than anything I can think of.

So, you know, a few articulated lorries bearing down on us,

a speeding car nearly sending us both to heaven, mild whiplash...

That's nothing.

Nothing at all.

Well... Just keep busy. And-And cry as much as you like.

And don't text her in the middle of the night with questions

about when she stopped loving you.

And don't think about what you should've said and didn't say.

But mainly just keep busy.

Thanks, Rebecca.

And now... let's pull out when it's clear.

And, if we survive, I might just take your advice.

ENGINE PURRS

CAR HORN BLARES

Thank you.

Oh! Oh! You OK?

No.

Vincent, thank you.

She's a good pupil.

And I have prayer.

Oh, dear!

How was Manchester, how's Eddie?

Yeah, good. Weirdest thing, though.

This new girlfriend of his is just like you.

Oh.

Well, except not as beautiful, obviously.

Oh, so you met her?

Well, she came round. They went out.

But he came back early, so they're clearly not sleeping together.

You met her, the new girlfriend? He introduced you to her?

It was...

No, it was more of a coincidence, he-he didn't mean to, he...

It's not serious, I can tell.

Right. Bye.

So, Eddie has a new relationship.

-SHE SIGHS

-Yeah, it would seem so.

You're going to be fine. Just keep busy.

Cry as much as you like.

And don't text him in the middle of the night with questions about

when he stopped loving you.

And don't think about what you should've said and didn't say.

Yeah, that's good. Did you think of that yourself?

Yes.

No. Rebecca said it to me.

I'm sorry, I should've said something of my own.

Have you got anything? Other than the Bible stuff, I mean.

Or are you going to pass that off as your own as well?

EMILY MOANS

Since you were 11 years old, you have been cleverer than me.

I can't understand you half the time.

The other half, I'm not really listening.

But one thing I do know, and maybe the only thing I do know,

is when you are hurt,

and I'm sorry for all the times I've hurt you.

And I'm sorry I didn't say anything at the time.

I'm sorry you're hurting now, and you are.

And I'm not helping.

And...

it's hard for a parent when you can't stop your child's pain.

Even a parent as bad as me finds that hard.

Well, I know when I'm beaten. Now I need to finish this bike.

It's great you're doing that bike, Dad.

For Joe.

It's great.

TIMER BLEEPS

Sophie?

-Sophie the waitress?

-Yep.

Sophie your employee?

All right, don't make it sound dodgier than it is!

Sophie our friend, yeah.

And something happened?

-Something NEARLY happened.

-By which you mean what, exactly?

By which I mean NOTHING happened at all.

We looked at each other

and then it just felt that the next thing we would do...

you know, was kiss.

You must know that feeling, you know when you both know?

Well, I'm working mainly on memory here, but...yeah,

that sort of thing is coming back to me.

I just want to know why you're telling ME.

Because I think you're the man to ask about honesty.

Exactly. So don't tell Alison. Nothing happened.

Why worry her with that?

I'd want to know if... if she'd done the same thing.

Said with all the confidence of a man this has never happened to.

SIGHING: Believe me, from one who knows,

you do not want your partner telling you they "had a moment".

A moment where nothing happened.

There are three things she can think if you tell her this.

Something did happen and you're playing it down.

Something is going to happen and you're preparing the ground.

You wanted something to happen.

You will notice that none of these things are likely to lead to

what we might call a happy ending.

OK. OK.

Nothing happened.

And as the saying goes... "Nothing will come of nothing."

Who said that?

King Lear.

How did it work for him?

He ended up a hill crying and shouting at the wind and the rain.

Did he bump into Maurice while he were up there?

Paul. I mean it. Forget it ever happened.

Don't open up stuff that doesn't need opening.

I don't need another story, do I?

BOTTLE KNOCKS ON TABLE

Hi.

Hello. I take it you're not here about ukulele lessons?

No. I was just wondering how you were.

Wonder why you'd be wondering that.

I worry about him and I worry about you.

But mainly him.

And I don't blame you.

Funny thing is, I worry about him more than I worry about me, too.

Yeah, he's more complicated than he looks.

That isn't difficult!

I could help. If you needed anything or anyone.

I do have some experience.

I know.

I just want to do this on my own.

All right?

Mm. Think I'd be the same.

So why are you here?

Because I care about Dad, so I care about you.

Maurice tells me Joe's settled in well at his new school.

-Yeah.

-Leaves you at a bit of a loose end, eh?

What?

I was just the same when Ralph didn't feel like a daily fight.

I started the choir, I went hospital visiting, I enrolled on courses,

I did unsuitable yoga.

I even started busking.

But I am not going to be your Care Bear, Alison.

I'm all cared out.

I can't be where you put your mad and considerable energy.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean...

Well, I am trying to be mean

if that's what it takes to get you to back off.

I think you're going to be good for my dad.

I really do.

MUSIC BLARES THROUGH HEADPHONES

Joe?

You stay in the car, I'm not going to be long. OK?

Good lad.

CAR DOOR SLAMS

Uh... Come here, come here.

-HE CHUCKLES

-I don't know what was going on the other night with me.

And maybe with you.

-But I...

-HE CLEARS THROAT

I... I just wanted to say that...

You know how I'm fixed. But I just... I just...

-I just want...

-You just what?

I wanted to know if you thought that there was a moment there, too, that's all.

Because I've been turning this over in my head

and I'm wondering if it was...me.

Paul, nothing happened! And like you say, you're fixed up.

Did I imagine it? Maybe I imagined it, because...

Gary, can you just...? Can you just give me a minute?

I've only got one guy working there and he's not exactly on the payroll.

Just give me a minute, Gary. All right?

Nothing happened. It was late.

And, you know, Mark woke up at four o'clock this morning

and as soon as I got him in the taxi, I had to start doing work

for his school transition appeal,

then I got the bus here

and I've been cleaning the toilets ever since.

So, it's great for you that you've got time to indulge this poetic,

romantic, whatever it is, but I haven't.

I've got real life.

Right.

-Well, that's me told!

-Well, what d'you want me to say?!

That if it wasn't for Alison, I'd have thrown myself at you?!

No, no, no! That's not what I meant. No, it...

MUSIC BLARES THROUGH HEADPHONES

So, we're good?

We're sorted?

Oh, God!

Oh... Paul, just go home and play some Nick Cave or something.

We're good.

HE EXHALES

Yeah, all right.

IGNITION RATTLES

GOAT BLEATS

Oh, shit.

Ah, hello, young man!

-Hello, old man.

-HE MOCK LAUGHS

You all right?

Yeah! Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I borrowed it. Well, rented it.

I know the...the guy who runs that petting farm.

That goat rental business must be sweeping the nation by now!

The boy wanted a goat, I delivered.

There you go, son.

GOAT BLEATS

A goodbye present, Joe.

GOAT CONTINUES TO BLEAT

-The boy needs a bike.

-I thought you said a goat.

-Are you off?

Tomorrow.

I thought Paul said he wanted a goat.

SHE SQUEALS HAPPILY

-REBECCA:

-..Turn that way.

Paul, let me see.

-He's taken a lot of photos of food.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Except this one of the staff.

-Well, even that's the dinner lady.

BOTH LAUGH

Oh!

-And this?

-That is Eddie's new girlfriend.

-Interesting.

-Mm!

Well, he must have been stood on a chair to take that.

Unless Eddie's girlfriend is very, very small.

-Guilty as charged.

-Right.

-SHE LAUGHS

We don't do this much any more, do we?

You and me talking crap.

It's nice, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

So, why are you still looking worried?

Because I've got something to tell you.

Right.

-I will teach you to ride the bike, Joe.

-I can ride the bike.

Well, you can fall off the bike. That isn't the same as riding it.

I like riding the bike, don't I?

Where's James?

-He's gone.

-Did he die?

No, he didn't die.

Not yet, I'll have to find him first.

This is MY cancer, Maurice, not yours and not Alison's.

And I am the one who has to handle it.

I... I didn't know she was planning on coming round, I promise you!

Your talent for missing the point never ceases to surprise me.

I had to tell someone.

No, you didn't! You didn't have to tell anyone.

You didn't have to do this with me.

In fact, I distinctly remember telling you not to do this with me,

but you said you could handle it, because you're big and strong

and on some kind of rescue mission.

I'll hold me hands up, it's more confusing than I thought,

but "rescue mission"...

I'm not sure I'm wearing that one, thank you very much!

If there's one thing I know about you,

it's that you don't need rescuing.

-Yes, well, it's not me you're trying to rescue though, is it?

-What?!

It's Sandra you're trying to rescue, Maurice.

Well, now you have lost me.

Sandra died. That was her. And I'm sorry.

But I'm not Sandra.

This is my illness. Mine. I won't be Sandra.

I'm not here to help you get your own back on God.

-I think I'd better go.

-Yes, I think you'd better had.

DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES

So, nothing happened?

Absolutely not.

But it felt like it might.

And that's what I wanted to tell you.

For both of you or just you?

Ah, I don't know. Um...

But like I say...

Cos I didn't act on it.

Mm. Oh, well.

So, why are you telling me?

Because something felt wrong.

And it confused me and... I wanted you to know about it.

Why? Why didn't you just stay confused?

Because you're my best mate, in the world,

and because the one thing that we always have

is that we're honest with each other.

You told me that you were with a liar before me

-and you told me that it nearly killed you.

-Don't. Don't... Don't make Stuart your alibi here.

-Look, I would want to know.

-Why? Nothing happened.

What are you telling me?

Something could've happened?

Maybe.

And...

..what does it mean...

..that something might've happened?

What does it mean that for a moment, just for a moment,

I felt more at home with Sophie than I do with you?

You tell me. What does that mean?

You were there, I wasn't.

-Is that all you've got to say?

-Uh!

I'm thinking about it.

I don't... I... What I don't get is why you would tell me it, any of it.

Because, I-I think... I think we need to think about us.

What with the... With the... With the...

With the change, the change with Joe and...

It's taking its toll - on you and on me - and I...

I just... I think we need to think...

We need to do something about that.

It sounds to me like you already have.

Are you seriously telling me

there isn't a problem?

I've noticed it, so you can bet Joe's noticed it.

Do you want to do something about it?

Joe, would you like to ride a bike without stabilisers?

I thought you were in a hurry to get away.

Let's just be spontaneous.

Which is actually not that spontaneous.

I do care, if that's what you're worried about.

I care enough about you not to want to disrupt your family life.

I am trying to save Sandra again.

Helping you brings it all back.

SHE SIGHS

But what do we do now?