Episode 1 The Driver


Episode 1

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MUSIC PLAYS: Oh! Whiskey by Jimi Goodwin

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SIREN BLASTS

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RADIO CHATTER ECHOES

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TYRES SQUEAL

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SIREN BLARES

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Jesus!

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HORN BEEPS

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TYRES SQUEAL

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HORNS BEEP

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HORN BEEPS

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TRAIN PASSES

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-All right, Vince?

-You all right, Reg?

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So, what, the Black Swan?

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Ah, no.

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Grapes tonight, lad.

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I'm hearing the barmaid's had a boob job.

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THEY LAUGH

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There you go.

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Ah, ta!

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Oh... Oh, I'm sorry...

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Vince?

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I've forgotten to empty my bag.

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Tip it down that drain for me, will you, please?

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You're a good man.

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RADIO: 'Come in, three-five, three-five.'

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Hey, we're here.

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We're here.

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Hey, mate.

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Hey, mate. Come on, we're here. We're here now.

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Come on, buddy.

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We're here.

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HE VOMITS

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Come on.

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Come on, mate. I haven't got time for this.

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Come on, let's go.

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HE GROANS

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KNOCKS ON DOOR

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Yeah?

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He fell asleep in my cab.

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Did he? You know why?

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Cos he's a useless piece of shit.

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It's £10.60.

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Great.

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RHYTHMIC THUDDING

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TV IS ON

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Morning.

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Morning.

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For my birthday, can I have driving lessons?

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-Do you know how much that costs?

-Yeah. 20 quid an hour.

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I've told you, eh, I'll teach you.

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What, in your grotty taxi? Don't think so!

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That's gratitude for you, innit?

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Suzie's parents got her lessons, and she passed first time.

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Good for Suzie. I'm glad you've got

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such rich friends to constantly compare yourself to.

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What's the exam today, then?

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French.

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French, eh?

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Bonne chance.

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You Googled that.

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HE LAUGHS

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I did go to school, you know.

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Yeah. French must come in really handy as a cab driver.

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Don't forget, we're going bowling tonight,

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and Mum said I can bring a friend.

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Ow! Argh!

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Shit!

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Tinned cherries?!

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Tinned...! Oh...

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You missed a bit.

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You scored 14.

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14?

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I need 15 before I could comfortably prescribe medication for you.

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So what you're saying, I'm one point shy of depression.

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Is this about Tim?

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No, it's about me.

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Vince...

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Pills - it's not always the answer.

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No?

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What is?

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-No. She said "friend".

-He IS her friend.

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No, he looks like a tosser.

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Why does she always pick wide boys, eh?

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Cos the sensible ones are less fun.

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£32.90.

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How much?

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£32.90.

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I'm in the wrong business, aren't I?

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Ah, look at him. He's all over her.

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They're teenagers. Stop being so old-fashioned.

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What, it's old-fashioned not to want some prick feeling up my daughter?

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Have you got a fiver?

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Ah, look at that!

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Come on. Let's get over there.

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Thanks.

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Please cheer up, will you?

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HE SNIFFS Have a nice day.

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Hook a left.

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I could get used to this, my own personal driver.

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You think I'm a prick?

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-What are you on about?

-You, all night.

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-No respect, taking the piss out of me.

-Doing what?

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I'm your girlfriend's father - that used to count for something.

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When was that - when the war was on?

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ENGINE REVS, TYRES SQUEAL

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Get out.

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-I'm nowhere near...

-Get out my car!

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RADIO: 'Come in, three-five, three-five...'

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(Piss off.)

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'Vince, can you hear me, three-five...?'

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What?

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'Can you do the Bull's Head, near Piccadilly Station?'

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No, I'm miles away.

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'He's asked for you personally.'

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Who has?

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'No idea. Name's Colin. Can you give me an ETA?'

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'Can you hear me, three-five?'

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20 minutes.

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MUSIC PLAYS IN PUB

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Col?

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Vincent McKee!

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-I thought you were...

-Yeah, I was. I just got out.

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-How long?

-Six stretch.

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Six!

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Do you know they don't let you smoke in pubs no more?!

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I know.

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-Anything else changed?

-Well, City are good now.

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Mad, eh?!

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-Look at you! So, what? Do you want to, er...

-Yeah, yeah.

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How did you know I was still on the cabs anyway?

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Well, you know, it's not like

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you were going to suddenly become a brain surgeon or something.

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Besides, I didn't have your mobile number.

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How's the lovely Ros?

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Yeah, she's great.

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Still doing that job where she asks people shit all day?

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Market research - it's vital work, I'll have you know!

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Tinned cherries this week.

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Really?

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She hates it, to be fair.

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She gets her kicks running marathons now.

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-Marathons?

-Yeah, yeah. She's really good at it. She's done nine already.

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She loves it. She goes all over the world.

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Berlin this year.

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Nice city, Berlin.

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-You been?

-Twice. Once with me mum to Lichtenberg,

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and the second time was a sex party in Spandau.

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Which was the best?

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Spandau shaded it, but I didn't get as much sightseeing done.

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THEY LAUGH

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It's late. Is she expecting you?

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Not unless she's clairvoyant.

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You didn't tell her you were coming out?

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You know me mum - if it doesn't come with ice and lemon,

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she's not interested.

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What happened to Sarah?

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We kept in touch. I'll go round there tomorrow,

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make my play.

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There's a room at ours, you know. I mean, we could...

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..have a drink and... Like old times.

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Old times.

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I want him out of here.

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-He's my friend.

-Friend! You haven't seen him in years.

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We grew up together. You haven't seen Heidi for years

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but she's still your friend.

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Heidi is not a criminal.

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It's a bit of stealing, you know.

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-He's not like a mass murderer, is he?

-He's an armed robber.

-Ssh!

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And he's been in prison and he's served his time.

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So unless he's got a Kalashnikov down his trousers,

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-I think we're all right.

-I want him out of here.

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Tough.

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Shit!

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So, what are you going to do now you're out?

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I haven't a clue. MUSIC PLAYS

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Join the rat race, like the rest of us?

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Yeah, I suppose, yeah. Something like that, yeah.

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See, my problem is I've always wanted excitement.

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I look at ordinary people's lives, getting up early,

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having some boss to answer to, and having to talk shit with

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Julie from Accounts, and I just think, "Nah, you're all right."

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-You've had a good run, though, eh?

-What?

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I had the greatest life, and then you get banged up,

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and all of a sudden you've got plenty of time to think about stuff.

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I've got no life.

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I've got no kids, no...house to call me own.

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I should have just been like you, just been normal.

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Yeah, well, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

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You know, people puking in my cab,

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getting abuse, you know, people arguing

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because the meter starts at two quid.

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And then I get home and...

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What?

0:16:300:16:32

No, it's just, er, we've been married a long time, you know?

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I'm bored. Well, it's boring anyway.

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Sometimes I feel like just putting my foot down

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and go charging into the nearest wall.

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Maybe I'll take the bus next time, then, eh?

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And the worst bit is, you know, there's no sign of it changing soon.

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-Oh, here you are.

-Cheers.

0:16:550:16:58

HE TURNS UP THE MUSIC

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-Hi. Sit down. Hiya.

-Hiya.

-Hi.

-Hi!

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Tinned cherries, is it?

0:17:140:17:16

-Please don't talk to the samplers. Where is he?

-Who?

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Oh, don't play games with me, Vince, I haven't got the time.

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Where's the criminal?

0:17:230:17:25

-I sent him home.

-Good. Thank you.

0:17:250:17:28

Promise me one thing - if he contacts you again, tell him

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-we don't want him in our life.

-Sure, yeah.

0:17:310:17:33

If you promise to do the same to your sister.

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Hi! Right...

0:17:380:17:40

DOOR OPENS

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DOOR CLOSES

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DOOR OPENS

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All right?

0:18:040:18:06

Tea?

0:18:080:18:09

Aw, what? You're a life-saver.

0:18:090:18:12

How was that, all right?

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Yeah, you know what, surprisingly comfy.

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Mind you, compared to prison it's like The Ritz.

0:18:190:18:22

And SHE kept me company.

0:18:220:18:25

-You haven't, have you?

-Might have stroked it, yeah.

0:18:250:18:27

THEY LAUGH

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What's all this art doing here anyway?

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It's Tim's.

0:18:340:18:36

Oh, right.

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Where is he now, uni?

0:18:370:18:40

No, he's just travelling, you know?

0:18:420:18:44

Listen, you know all that stuff I was talking about last night?

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Just forget it. It was the whisky talking.

0:18:480:18:49

Yeah, I know that.

0:18:490:18:52

Cos we're fine, honestly.

0:18:520:18:54

Get dressed. I'll take you to your mum's, all right?

0:18:540:18:57

Could you drop us at Sarah's?

0:18:570:18:59

Yeah, no problem.

0:18:590:19:00

She wrote to you, then, all the time you were inside?

0:19:060:19:09

Oh, yeah. Constant letters.

0:19:090:19:10

She's a lovely way with words, though, hasn't she?

0:19:100:19:14

Some of it's filthy, mind.

0:19:150:19:17

Like Fifty Shades Of Col.

0:19:170:19:20

HE LAUGHS

0:19:200:19:21

What the...? Craig?

0:19:270:19:30

Col...

0:19:300:19:32

What's, er...?

0:19:320:19:33

I'm living here.

0:19:330:19:35

Living here, like...?

0:19:350:19:36

Like, living here.

0:19:360:19:38

Sarah!

0:19:380:19:39

What is it, babe?

0:19:390:19:41

It's mine.

0:19:470:19:49

Er, you were inside, sorry.

0:19:490:19:51

Drive.

0:20:050:20:06

Sorry, mate. That was a bit of a kick in the bollocks, wasn't it?

0:20:250:20:29

Let's get a drink some time, shall we?

0:20:290:20:31

Yeah. All right, yeah.

0:20:310:20:33

SIREN BLARES

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SHE SIGHS

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HORNS BEEP

0:21:130:21:15

I wouldn't have come this way.

0:21:150:21:17

Nah, don't take it from him, mate. He's a knobhead.

0:21:280:21:31

No, honestly, he's a knobhead.

0:21:310:21:33

Ronnie, Ronnie, listen. He's a knobhead.

0:21:360:21:39

Ronnie, listen to me. The man is a knobhead...

0:21:390:21:44

Knobhead. He's a knobhead, Ronnie. Listen to me, what I'm saying.

0:21:440:21:48

Ronnie, hang on a second. Driver, why have we not turned left back there?

0:21:480:21:52

-What do you mean?

-If you'd gone left back there,

0:21:520:21:54

-we could've cut this lot out.

-That road's blocked off, mate.

0:21:540:21:56

It opened last Monday. The roadworks are finished.

0:21:560:21:58

I'm going to have to ring you back. This idiot's gone the wrong way.

0:21:580:22:01

You can walk if you want.

0:22:010:22:03

What? In this weather! Yeah, nice one!

0:22:030:22:05

RHYTHMIC THUDDING

0:22:070:22:09

-TV:

-'..this, the famous Park Guell,

0:22:140:22:16

'the Art Deco masterpiece by the architect Antonio Gaudi.

0:22:160:22:19

'It's one of 60 parks in the city.

0:22:190:22:22

'His work is seen all over Barcelona.'

0:22:230:22:26

PHONE BEEPS

0:22:300:22:31

They're a good bunch of lads.

0:22:430:22:45

You'll like them, especially The Horse.

0:22:450:22:47

The Horse? Why do they call him that? Is he well hung?

0:22:470:22:50

No, he looks like Shergar!

0:22:500:22:52

THEY LAUGH

0:22:520:22:54

Colly, baby! How are you?

0:23:020:23:04

-How was Butlins?

-Piece of cake.

0:23:060:23:08

-Did all my presents get through?

-They did. Very much appreciated.

0:23:080:23:11

This is my mate, Vince.

0:23:110:23:13

-Hello, Vince.

-Hi.

-It's a pleasure to meet you.

-Likewise.

0:23:130:23:16

-Do you like poker?

-Yeah, yeah. I love poker, yeah.

-Good.

0:23:160:23:19

But before you play, remember this -

0:23:200:23:23

we lose because we TOLD ourselves we lost.

0:23:230:23:27

Tolstoy.

0:23:310:23:32

Come on.

0:23:320:23:34

-Ah, you know the shoe drill?

-Eh...take your shoes off.

0:23:340:23:37

CHATTER, LAUGHTER

0:23:420:23:45

MUSIC: Get Up And Get It by Jackie Mittoo

0:23:450:23:48

Aces...

0:24:030:24:06

'Ey-up.

0:24:340:24:35

I'm supposed to be off this.

0:24:400:24:43

Me and the girlfriend are trying for a baby - IVF, the works...

0:24:430:24:47

Right.

0:24:470:24:48

Apparently it slows my swimmers down.

0:24:560:24:59

Col tells me you're a driver.

0:25:050:25:07

A cabbie, yeah.

0:25:070:25:08

Cabbie? Good money?

0:25:090:25:11

No. It's crap.

0:25:120:25:14

Too bad. The people who know how to run this country

0:25:140:25:18

are driving cabs and cutting hair.

0:25:180:25:20

Was that Tolstoy?

0:25:230:25:25

George Burns.

0:25:250:25:27

You have a lot of those.

0:25:280:25:30

I study philosophy.

0:25:300:25:31

How would you like to earn yourself a bit extra?

0:25:360:25:39

-Doing what?

-Driving.

0:25:400:25:42

Driving for who?

0:25:420:25:44

Me.

0:25:440:25:46

Involving what?

0:25:460:25:48

Exactly what you do now - picking people up, dropping people off.

0:25:480:25:51

What, just driving?

0:25:510:25:53

Just driving. Nothing more, nothing less.

0:25:530:25:56

Except...sometimes...

0:25:580:26:01

you might have to drive a bit faster.

0:26:010:26:03

No way. No way.

0:26:090:26:11

Just calm down, eh?

0:26:110:26:13

You off your head?

0:26:130:26:15

I thought you were supposed to be going straight.

0:26:150:26:17

How am I supposed to say no to these guys, eh?

0:26:170:26:19

-I thought you said you were sick of being ordinary.

-I am.

0:26:190:26:21

That doesn't mean to say I want to be extraordinary in prison, do I?!

0:26:210:26:24

And how about you?

0:26:240:26:25

You've just got out. How was your six years? You ready for some more?

0:26:250:26:28

What's my choices, Vince?

0:26:280:26:30

You know what I mean?

0:26:300:26:31

Some bullshit job?

0:26:310:26:33

I'm a criminal, it's what I do. And I'm good at it.

0:26:380:26:40

Oh, yeah. So why did you get caught?

0:26:400:26:42

-That wasn't my fault.

-Listen, if you want to go back to it, you do it,

0:26:420:26:45

but don't drag me back with you, all right?

0:26:450:26:47

Ah, come on. It's good money, mate.

0:26:470:26:48

Or are you happy being piss poor all your life?

0:26:480:26:51

Come on, it's just driving. It could be anything.

0:26:510:26:53

You know, dropping him off at Glasgow.

0:26:530:26:56

You'll pick him up when he's pissed, picking up packages...

0:26:560:26:58

Yeah. Containing what?

0:26:580:27:00

Come on, he's a businessman - that's how you've gotta think of it.

0:27:000:27:04

Come on, it'll be a laugh,

0:27:060:27:08

living a life, like when we were in our teens.

0:27:080:27:10

We were kids.

0:27:110:27:13

You know, just knobheads. We didn't know any better.

0:27:130:27:17

It's the happiest we've ever been.

0:27:170:27:20

No. All right?

0:27:200:27:22

Just, you know, read my lips. N-O. No way. All right? Get out.

0:27:220:27:26

All right. I'll tell 'em you're sleeping on it, then, yeah?

0:27:260:27:29

Ah, Col...

0:27:290:27:31

MAN GROANS

0:27:400:27:41

You all right, mate?

0:27:410:27:44

Sex injury.

0:27:440:27:46

Sex injury? Who from?

0:27:470:27:49

I forget her name.

0:27:490:27:50

Honest to God, you've never seen anything like it. She were feral.

0:27:500:27:53

My todger looks like a dog's been at it.

0:27:530:27:56

-Sounds great.

-It was.

0:27:560:27:58

I think I might have a bit of a masochist thing going on.

0:27:580:28:01

Can I ask you something?

0:28:010:28:02

Fire away.

0:28:020:28:04

Were you bored?

0:28:040:28:06

Was I bored? How do you mean?

0:28:060:28:07

You know, before you left Cindy,

0:28:070:28:09

before you started all this no-strings internet stuff.

0:28:090:28:12

Were you bored?

0:28:120:28:14

Out of my mind.

0:28:140:28:16

Not any more, mate. Spring lamb.

0:28:160:28:18

A bouncing lamb.

0:28:180:28:20

HE GROANS

0:28:200:28:21

THUNDER RUMBLES

0:28:500:28:52

KNOCK ON WINDOW

0:28:550:28:57

Come on! Come on!

0:28:570:28:59

Open up!

0:28:590:29:01

Please!

0:29:010:29:02

Sorry, girls. I'm not insured. I can't pick you up off the street.

0:29:020:29:05

-Oh, go on. We're only going to Northenden.

-I can't, can I?

0:29:050:29:08

Please! It's freezing!

0:29:080:29:09

Please. We'd be very grateful. It's freezing out here.

0:29:090:29:12

-No-one's looking.

-Come on.

-All right. Get in quick.

-Yes!

0:29:120:29:16

GIGGLING

0:29:160:29:18

-I've got no money.

-You said you had!

-No, I never!

0:29:270:29:30

Er...you did!

0:29:300:29:33

You're going to have to shag him!

0:29:330:29:34

Er...YOU will!

0:29:340:29:36

No! Don't think so!

0:29:360:29:37

LAUGHTER

0:29:370:29:40

Hey! What you doing?

0:29:400:29:43

If you've got no money, piss off out of it.

0:29:430:29:46

You can't chuck us out here. We'll get murdered!

0:29:460:29:49

I heard what you were saying, all right?

0:29:490:29:52

Can you just hurry up, only I really need a pee.

0:29:520:29:54

This is my job, all right? It's my living.

0:29:540:29:56

If you didn't have any money,

0:29:560:29:58

-you shouldn't have got into my cab.

-No, really. I'm desperate.

-Urgh!

0:29:580:30:02

LAUGHTER

0:30:020:30:05

-Hey! What are you doing?

-What does it look like?

0:30:050:30:07

Get out! Get out!

0:30:070:30:10

Hey! Come on! Hey!

0:30:100:30:13

Stop it! Come on!

0:30:130:30:14

Out, you dirty bitch!

0:30:140:30:16

LAUGHTER

0:30:160:30:17

Out the cab!

0:30:170:30:19

Out now!

0:30:190:30:21

-Home, James!

-Get out of my cab!

-TYRES HISS

0:30:210:30:24

Hey!

0:30:240:30:25

Come here!

0:30:250:30:27

-TYRES HISS

-Hey!

0:30:320:30:35

Come here!

0:30:350:30:37

I want my money!

0:30:370:30:39

I'm going to call the police on you.

0:30:390:30:41

All right! I'll give you what I've got!

0:30:410:30:44

Give us it!

0:30:440:30:46

COINS LAND ON ROAD

0:30:460:30:49

GIGGLING

0:30:490:30:50

Argh!

0:30:500:30:52

Oh!

0:30:520:30:54

Hey! Hey! That's my money! Come here!

0:30:540:30:57

THEY LAUGH AND SQUEAL

0:30:570:30:59

-Oh!

-Get lost, loser!

0:30:590:31:01

We'll work on an as-and-when basis. When I need you, I call you on this.

0:31:280:31:33

You never ring me, hm? Unless it's urgent.

0:31:380:31:42

And if you do, only on that.

0:31:420:31:45

Um... Was it one sugar or two?

0:31:450:31:48

-One.

-Two for me.

0:31:480:31:50

-Where was I?

-Not to phone you, unless it's urgent.

0:31:540:31:57

Right.

0:31:570:32:00

And when I call you, I need to know you'll be there.

0:32:000:32:03

I need to know I can rely on you.

0:32:050:32:07

Yeah, you can.

0:32:080:32:10

Good.

0:32:100:32:12

To be honest, most of the time, the job you'll be doing is not that

0:32:140:32:18

different to what you're doing now.

0:32:180:32:20

It's a driving job, plain and simple.

0:32:200:32:22

-What about the pay?

-Oh, don't worry. You'll get sorted.

0:32:260:32:30

Thing I don't get is, you're Mr Ordinary one day,

0:32:360:32:40

then the next...not.

0:32:400:32:43

How does that work out?

0:32:430:32:45

Right, Vince. That's you.

0:32:500:32:53

Thanks.

0:32:530:32:56

Horse.

0:32:560:32:58

Lovely, thanks.

0:32:590:33:01

Colin.

0:33:010:33:02

Ta.

0:33:020:33:04

And here you are, Darren. That's your one, mate.

0:33:040:33:07

Why do I get this one?

0:33:110:33:13

-HE CHUCKLES

-I chose them at random.

0:33:130:33:15

-I just need a slash...

-Oh, yeah. Out there on the left.

0:33:150:33:19

Right, yeah.

0:33:190:33:20

So, am I back in?

0:33:290:33:30

Everyone deserves second chances. But not for the same mistakes.

0:33:320:33:36

Is that a yes or no?

0:33:430:33:45

HE LAUGHS

0:33:500:33:52

You're back in.

0:33:520:33:54

But if he screws up, it's your neck.

0:33:570:34:00

Philosophy, my arse.

0:34:110:34:12

Oh, nice motor, man!

0:34:160:34:19

She's been fully worked over, so the police aren't looking for her.

0:34:190:34:22

But don't park her too near your house. Use your brains.

0:34:220:34:25

We change the plates regularly, so she can't be traced.

0:34:250:34:28

-Can you drive the cab back for me?

-Oh, great(!) I get the shitty ride.

0:34:280:34:31

-Nice, eh?

-Yeah, fantastic.

-It's all yours.

0:34:350:34:38

-I need to know I can trust you.

-Yeah, you can.

0:34:430:34:45

-I hope so.

-What happened to your last driver?

0:34:470:34:51

Personal problems.

0:34:510:34:54

CAR ALARM BLEEPS

0:35:230:35:26

What is it this time? Let me guess.

0:35:500:35:52

Spray-on curtains, self-cleaning bath mats...

0:35:520:35:54

You'd better talk to your daughter.

0:35:540:35:56

Katie?

0:36:080:36:10

Go screw yourself!

0:36:110:36:14

Hey, what's the matter? Come on!

0:36:140:36:16

Katie, come on, open the door. What's the matter?

0:36:160:36:20

He's dumped me, Dad!

0:36:210:36:23

Because of you! Because you're so weird towards him!

0:36:230:36:28

And now he's started flirting with Jane Tyler!

0:36:280:36:30

No wonder Tim left.

0:36:350:36:37

Because he couldn't stand another minute with you!

0:36:370:36:40

Hey!

0:36:400:36:41

Open the door! Take that back! Come on, Katie!

0:36:410:36:45

Katie, take that back. Come on.

0:36:450:36:47

Katie, take it back. You know why he left.

0:36:480:36:51

'As a society, we are outraged by the idea of human cloning.

0:37:010:37:05

'And yet, that's exactly what parenting is.

0:37:050:37:08

'People want to create new versions of themselves.

0:37:080:37:11

'But this pressure to be what our mother and father expects...'

0:37:110:37:14

BRAKES SCREECH

0:37:530:37:55

PHONE RINGS

0:38:120:38:15

Hello?

0:38:300:38:31

Eight rings!

0:38:310:38:33

You'll have to do better than that.

0:38:330:38:36

Get over here as soon as you can.

0:38:360:38:39

Fancy a walk?

0:38:470:38:49

Come on, I need you out.

0:38:490:38:51

Come on. You and all, come on.

0:38:510:38:53

Come on, out you get.

0:38:530:38:54

That's good.

0:38:540:38:56

SIRENS IN THE DISTANCE

0:38:590:39:02

CAR ALARM

0:39:060:39:09

ENGINE STARTS

0:39:110:39:14

You know where that is?

0:39:220:39:23

-Yeah.

-Well, let's go!

0:39:250:39:27

Just Darren. Woodsy, you stay here.

0:39:590:40:01

RADIO PLAYS QUIETLY

0:40:070:40:09

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:40:190:40:21

Don't ask.

0:40:240:40:25

I wasn't going to.

0:40:270:40:28

He's the middleman on this job that we're planning,

0:40:350:40:37

but I can't tell you any more then that.

0:40:370:40:39

Horse thinks he's either trying to stitch us up or,

0:40:410:40:44

more likely, start an auction.

0:40:440:40:46

-Auction? What, for this job?

-Yeah.

0:40:470:40:50

He jumps into bed with whoever offers him the biggest cut.

0:40:500:40:53

Trouble is, he's already shook with the Horse

0:40:530:40:57

and that is it, that's all I can tell you, I can't say any more than that.

0:40:570:41:01

How's your day?

0:41:030:41:04

Fine.

0:41:060:41:07

Jesus, you're a bundle of joy, aren't you?

0:41:080:41:12

No, it's just...

0:41:120:41:14

-What?

-Ah...

0:41:140:41:16

-You got kids?

-Nah.

0:41:160:41:18

Nah, my bird wanted them, but then she pissed off to Hartlepool, so...

0:41:190:41:23

Why Hartlepool?

0:41:250:41:27

God knows. Must have fancied living down south, innit?

0:41:270:41:30

Hartlepool's up north, it's by Sunderland.

0:41:330:41:35

Is it?

0:41:380:41:39

Yeah.

0:41:390:41:40

Bitch.

0:41:450:41:47

She told me it was on the east coast.

0:41:480:41:50

Well, it is, but it's on the north-east, you know.

0:41:520:41:55

North-east?

0:41:580:41:59

I didn't even know the north-east had a coast.

0:42:050:42:07

You'd better turn the radio off.

0:42:140:42:16

ENGINE STARTS

0:42:190:42:20

OK, go. Go!

0:42:240:42:25

He's finished.

0:42:290:42:31

MUFFLED CLUB MUSIC

0:42:370:42:40

Oh, ah...

0:42:450:42:47

Spend it wisely.

0:42:470:42:49

And don't wait, we'll be here all night.

0:42:490:42:51

DISTANT LAUGHTER

0:42:580:43:00

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

0:43:180:43:21

MUSIC: I'm A Mojo Man by Lonesome Sundown

0:43:440:43:46

# I ain't got no rabbit foot

0:43:500:43:52

# Or no old bone

0:43:520:43:54

# But when I leave you baby

0:43:540:43:56

# You'll be so all alone

0:43:560:43:57

# Cos I'm a mojo man

0:43:570:44:00

# Yes, I'm a mojo man... #

0:44:010:44:04

-Hello.

-Can you pick us up?

-Where from?

-Me mum's.

0:44:040:44:07

-I'm at work, are you paying?

-Am I balls.

0:44:070:44:11

Come on, ten minutes, yeah?

0:44:110:44:12

Sure this is a good idea?

0:44:120:44:14

I just need to talk to her without him there.

0:44:160:44:19

To what end?

0:44:190:44:20

What am I supposed to do, Vince? Give up? Move on?

0:44:220:44:25

I love her and he has stolen her off me.

0:44:250:44:28

She's pregnant with his kid, they're living together.

0:44:280:44:31

I don't want to be the voice of doom, but it does look permanent, doesn't it?

0:44:310:44:34

You don't know her.

0:44:340:44:35

She isn't happy with him. She just wanted security.

0:44:350:44:39

She could've shacked up with anyone, couldn't she?

0:44:390:44:42

But she chooses my twin.

0:44:420:44:45

It doesn't take a psychiatrist, she wanted me.

0:44:450:44:47

-He's a me replacement.

-Mmm.

0:44:470:44:50

-Can I give her those?

-No. They're for my anniversary, put them back.

0:44:520:44:56

How many years?

0:44:570:44:59

Eh? 18.

0:44:590:45:01

So, it's not a big one. VINCE SIGHS

0:45:030:45:05

Sarah.

0:45:130:45:15

-Jesus, Col. Have you been waiting for me?

-No, I was just passing.

0:45:150:45:19

Just passing? Where I work, with flowers?

0:45:190:45:22

-Leave me alone, Col.

-Please, Sarah, I just want to talk to you.

0:45:220:45:26

You've got from here to my tram stop, start talking.

0:45:260:45:29

OK, look, I got sent down and that was my own stupid fault,

0:45:290:45:32

and you said it would happen and it did, so I don't blame you for moving on,

0:45:320:45:35

for wanting a baby and a life and all the normal things

0:45:350:45:39

normal people have, but did it have to be with our Craig?

0:45:390:45:43

It was just circumstances, I didn't do it to hurt you.

0:45:430:45:46

Sarah, we used to laugh at him, used to joke about how boring he was.

0:45:460:45:49

Col, I'm with Craig.

0:45:490:45:51

-That's all there is to say.

-Well, you can still have me.

0:45:510:45:54

Please, Sarah. I'll bring up his baby.

0:45:560:46:00

It'll even look like me.

0:46:000:46:02

I promise I'll give you everything you want.

0:46:020:46:04

I love you. I...love...you.

0:46:070:46:10

You're six years too late, Col.

0:46:140:46:16

TRAM HORN

0:46:330:46:35

You still hate me?

0:46:400:46:42

No, I don't hate you.

0:46:420:46:44

I'm sorry about Ryan, but if he doesn't want to be with you, then he's crazy.

0:46:470:46:51

And you don't want to go out with anybody crazy.

0:46:510:46:54

I'm married to your mother, so trust me, I know.

0:46:540:46:57

Hey, here. Go on, that might cheer you up.

0:46:580:47:00

-What is it?

-Go on.

0:47:020:47:04

Driving lessons! VINCE LAUGHS

0:47:120:47:14

-Dad! Thank you!

-Oh!

0:47:140:47:18

It's not for your birthday, it's just so I don't have to spend any time in a car with you.

0:47:180:47:21

-Where's your mum?

-Upstairs. VINCE LAUGHS

0:47:210:47:24

Happy anniversary.

0:47:280:47:29

What?

0:47:330:47:34

Have you forgotten?

0:47:360:47:38

I'm so sorry.

0:47:380:47:40

No. It's...

0:47:400:47:42

-I've been so busy...

-No...

0:47:440:47:45

-..training and with work and everything...

-It's OK.

0:47:450:47:49

VINCE LAUGHS

0:47:490:47:51

Hey, it's OK.

0:47:510:47:53

No, no. No, it's not.

0:47:530:47:56

-Ros, come on.

-It's...

0:47:580:47:59

Hey, come on, smile.

0:47:590:48:01

-God, I'm so sorry, Vince.

-No...

0:48:020:48:05

-How could it not even register?

-Don't, don't be silly.

0:48:050:48:08

It's not like it's a big one, is it? What, it's our 18th, what's that?

0:48:080:48:11

It's not like it's the 20th or anything, is it? Come on.

0:48:110:48:14

The flowers are beautiful.

0:48:160:48:18

Can I...

0:48:200:48:22

-open the card?

-Yeah.

0:48:220:48:24

What's happening to us, Vince?

0:48:470:48:49

We used to be so in love.

0:48:520:48:54

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:49:000:49:02

-Leave it.

-No, I can't, it's work. I can't, can I?

0:49:020:49:05

Leave it...

0:49:050:49:06

PHONE RINGS CONTINUOUSLY

0:49:060:49:08

-Katie's downstairs.

-She'll never hear us.

0:49:150:49:18

VINCE GASPS

0:49:270:49:28

VINCE BREATHES HEAVILY

0:49:300:49:31

Come on, come on, come on.

0:49:360:49:38

'I'm disappointed, Vince. I've had to leave a message.

0:49:380:49:42

'Call me. I've got a job.'

0:49:420:49:43

DISTANT BEEPING

0:49:540:49:56

AEROPLANE ENGINE NOISES

0:50:030:50:06

-You the driver?

-Yeah.

0:50:140:50:16

-You got the package?

-It's in the boot.

0:50:170:50:19

-Nice colour.

-Eh?

-Inconspicuous.

0:50:210:50:24

-Reverse psychology.

-VINCE LAUGHS

0:50:240:50:26

All yours.

0:50:280:50:30

-Do you want to give me a hand?

-Weakling.

0:50:330:50:36

It's all right. I've got it. OK.

0:50:360:50:38

MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

0:50:400:50:42

POLICE SIREN

0:50:520:50:54

INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO

0:51:030:51:05

CAR ENGINE SCREECHES

0:51:080:51:10

CAR HORN Vince?

0:51:500:51:52

He-he! I thought it was you.

0:51:530:51:56

Whose is the motor?

0:51:560:51:57

Yeah, it's a mate of mines.

0:51:570:51:59

He's gone on holiday, he asked me to do a bit of work on it, you know.

0:51:590:52:02

-All right, well, nice wheels.

-Yeah. Lucky for some, eh?

0:52:020:52:05

What you doing round here?

0:52:050:52:06

Nothing, I just thought I could hear something knocking in the back there, you know.

0:52:060:52:10

Oh, right.

0:52:100:52:11

-Where you off?

-I've got an airport run. You working later?

0:52:110:52:14

-I am, yeah. Listen, I'd better get on. All right?

-All right, catch you later.

-See you later.

-All right.

0:52:140:52:19

Good man.

0:52:250:52:27

Any problems?

0:52:280:52:30

No, nothing.

0:52:300:52:31

Did you...

0:52:350:52:37

did you have a look in it?

0:52:370:52:38

I'm just the driver, aren't I?

0:52:410:52:43

HE LAUGHS

0:52:440:52:46

Well...

0:52:480:52:49

..treat yourself.

0:52:500:52:52

I'll be in touch.

0:53:010:53:03

FAINT MUSIC PLAYS

0:53:230:53:26

Happy anniversary.

0:53:280:53:30

I've booked us a table.

0:53:340:53:36

Thought we could do it properly.

0:53:360:53:38

You can get the night off, can't you?

0:53:380:53:41

-Yeah, that's not a problem.

-Cheers.

-THEY LAUGH

0:53:410:53:44

I don't want us to be strangers, Vin.

0:53:460:53:49

I think we've been neglecting each other.

0:53:490:53:52

This is when couples fall apart.

0:53:530:53:55

Kids grown-up, leading separate lives...

0:53:550:53:58

I know what you men are like.

0:54:000:54:02

You turn 40 and you want to buy a sports car or screw a barmaid...

0:54:020:54:05

Hey...

0:54:050:54:06

-I don't want a sports car.

-THEY LAUGH

0:54:060:54:09

If I promise to try, will you promise to try?

0:54:110:54:14

Yeah, I promise.

0:54:160:54:18

Good.

0:54:180:54:19

Go get a shower. The table's booked for nine. Go on.

0:54:230:54:27

DOORBELL RINGS

0:54:270:54:29

HE WHISTLES

0:54:380:54:39

You're needed.

0:54:410:54:42

-What?

-Got to go somewhere, need a driver.

0:54:470:54:50

-The Horse hasn't called me.

-No, he told me to come and get you.

0:54:520:54:55

I can't, we're going to dinner.

0:54:560:54:58

-Fine, I'll tell the Horse you said no, then.

-No, what is it?

0:54:580:55:01

Make your excuses, I'll see you on the corner.

0:55:010:55:03

Oh, shit.

0:55:130:55:14

-Shit, I'm sorry, I've got a fare. I forgot.

-What? Where?

0:55:140:55:17

It's at the airport. Went out of my head, I'm sorry.

0:55:170:55:20

-Who was at the door?

-Eh?

0:55:200:55:21

It was just some kids, they got the wrong house, but seeing the cab made me realise.

0:55:210:55:25

-Listen, if I go now I'll be back in time.

-Vince...

0:55:250:55:28

-I'll be back in time for the dinner, don't worry.

-Vince!

0:55:280:55:31

FRONT DOOR SHUTS

0:55:330:55:34

FAINT CAR RADIO MUSIC

0:55:340:55:36

Who we waiting for?

0:55:370:55:39

He wants me to talk to somebody.

0:55:400:55:42

Who?

0:55:420:55:44

Stop asking questions.

0:55:440:55:46

Are you all right?

0:55:520:55:53

Never better.

0:55:550:55:57

How did it go with Sarah?

0:55:570:56:00

Great, yeah.

0:56:000:56:02

Yeah, couldn't have gone better.

0:56:020:56:04

There's something special between me and Sarah. Always has been.

0:56:040:56:07

Shit!

0:56:190:56:21

WOMAN SCREAMS

0:56:270:56:28

-Hey.

-Stop it!

0:56:280:56:30

-Col!

-Go now, or you'll get the same.

0:56:300:56:33

-Spring the boot, will you?

-What?!

-Spring the bloody boot, will you?

0:56:330:56:37

-Come here.

-Agh!

0:56:390:56:40

Come on, come on. Help me get him in the car.

0:56:400:56:43

-MAN STRAINS

-Hey, hey, stop it, mate.

0:56:430:56:46

-HE SCREAMS

-You all right?

0:56:460:56:49

Take that!

0:56:490:56:51

-Help!

-Shut up!

-Help!

-Shut up!

0:56:520:56:55

-Get him inside.

-Mind your head, mind.

-Oh, God, please!

0:56:550:56:57

Will you leave it?!

0:56:570:56:59

-No, no, no! Don't!

-Give me his hands.

0:56:590:57:02

-Hands up.

-Just give us your hands, mate. Not too tight, eh?

0:57:020:57:05

-What are you..?

-Oh, my God...

0:57:050:57:08

-All right, come on, let's go.

-Who is he?

-You don't need to know.

0:57:080:57:11

-What's he done?

-MAN SCREAMS

0:57:110:57:13

-He's in my boot.

-Let me out!

-That girl saw our faces.

-Let me out!

0:57:130:57:16

Just drive, will you? The Horse wants him finished.

0:57:160:57:19

Help! Help! Help!

0:57:190:57:21

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