The Worsted Viper The Mrs Bradley Mysteries

*

George's daughter Cecily.

I once made the mistake of asking him what she was like.

20 minutes of parental pride later, I had a fairly good idea -

pretty as a picture, bright as a button, sweet as sugar.

I do so hope he was exaggerating.

CAR HORN BEEPS

-Hello, Dad.

-You're looking well.

Must be the sea air. ..This is her, madam.

-My little Cecily.

-You're even more glamorous than he said!

-Charming girl. ..Inspector Christmas's celebration?

-Inside, madam.

-And you are?

-..Ronald Quincy. Under manager.

And my fiance.

Your what?

-..Excuse me.

-You might have told me!

< Oi!

As many of you know, Inspector Christmas served in the Army with great distinction,

then went on to a second career with the police force. We're proud

he's chosen our community for his impending retirement.

Yesterday, he was in London receiving his MBE.

Today, we bestow our highest honour -

the freedom of Porth Carrack!

And now a surprise.

To make the presentation, they've persuaded the lady the Inspector says served as his inspiration -

Mrs Adela Bradley!

What an honour, Mrs Bradley, and what a week - marred by just one thing. Last night, I was burgled -

two hens from my own back yard. Sometimes the long arm of the law is not quite long enough.

Daddy, quick! Temperance!

What is it?

-Do you know her?

-Yes. My daughter.

Here's a tragic kettle of fish.

# You're the cream in my coffee

# You're the salt in my stew

# You will always be my necessity

# I'd be lost without you

# You're the starch in my collar You're the lace in my shoe... #

Why? And why cut off her lovely hair?

We'll find whoever did this. I promise.

-I understand Chastity worked at Quincy's Hotel.

-As a waitress, yes.

She wasn't due at work until one.

I was away last night, visiting my sister. Temperance came with me.

-And your wife?

-She died having Temperance.

-Well, it wasn't robbery, madam. She's still wearing this.

-Still fancy yourself as a detective?

-Just trying to help.

-The watch stopped at 12. When she hit the water, I'd say -

giving us probable time of death.

Yes, going by the condition of the body.

-This is no rope. It's some sort of woollen snake.

-A worsted viper.

This reminds me of my first investigation - the case of Black Jack Briggs and Beelzebub's virgin.

Cutting off the victim's hair is part of the ritual. Black Jack was hanged,

but if someone is reviving the cult, there'll be something inside the viper's mouth.

Well, I never.

Chastity's engagement ring!

..I could stay if it would help.

I was just about to ask. Thank you.

What a bizarre story.

One man's mumbo jumbo is another man's faith.

Nice to have a lady of calibre staying. We only wish it were under happier circumstances.

-Indeed, Mother.

-What sort of girl was she?

Nice as pie. ..And talented. She painted those.

-How well do you know your guests?

-Well enough.

-This is a respectable hotel!

-Is it? ..Oh, well.

-I beg your pardon?

-Respectability. Highly over-rated.

I've arranged lodgings for your chauffeur opposite the abattoir.

My "chauffeur", as I understand it, is to be a member of your family.

-That's as may be. Staff stay in lodgings, usually.

-George stays where I stay, invariably.

Ah, how do you do?

Much obliged. ..Just a week to go to the big day. I suppose it's congratulations all round.

I suppose so. TAPPING ..Ronald, you're doing it again.

-They've all got alibis. Cast iron.

-< Naturally.

And before you ask, Ronald and I were working till well past midnight, then we had sardines on toast...

-And played cribbage.

-Quite the giddy whirl.

How will Cecily cope?

-Compliments of Inspector Christmas, ma'am.

-How very dear!

-You hate carnations.

-I love colour, and it's the thought that counts.

Chastity gave me this to post yesterday. I didn't get round to it.

-"Miss Behaviour, Porth Carrck Gazette."

-An advice column?

-Yes.

"Dear Miss Behaviour, my dilemma is, what if you discover your employer's up to no good?

Do you risk speaking out? Signed, "In Two Minds." What did she mean?

I haven't got a clue.

-Was anything different about her lately?

-She seemed a bit better off.

Said she'd been left a few bob. She argued with her fiance yesterday.

-What's he like?

-Jake? Well, he's no angel, but he's no murderer.

-Where can we find him?

-He lives above the Potted Lobster.

-Having a lie-in, Jake?

-I've not been well.

-I'm afraid we've got some rather bad news.

-Tell us about this argument.

-Chastity accused me of seeing another woman.

-And were you?

-There is no other woman.

I'm engaged to be married!

Or was. BOTTLES CLINK AND SMASH

-What's he looking for?

-Just routine.

Make yourself useful. Try upstairs.

Why weren't you out fishing last night?

Food poisoning. Stayed in bed.

-All night AND all day?

-I went out for some air about eleven till after midnight.

-Anyone see you?

-No.

-Pity.

-Are you sug-gesting my b-brother murdered his own f-fiancee?!

No, I'm saying it's a shame no-one saw him.

I just heard! I was at the hairdresser's.

This is Mrs Bradley. ..My sister-in-law Delilah.

Might I ask where you and your husband were last night at midnight?

-I was asleep, Lester was manning the lighthouse.

-Don't you run the pub?

W-We do. I go up the lighthouse a-after closing time, stay the night.

-When do you sleep?

-From dawn till we open. He likes to keep busy.

Somebody has to p-pay for your hairdos!

Where's the key to the cellar, sir?

I'm not sure.

-Whose is the back room?

-Mine. Why?

I just found this under the bed.

Chastity's hair!

Jake Hicks, I'm arresting you on suspicion of murder.

-No need for you to come, Lester.

-He's f-family! I'm going!

I'll see you back at the hotel.

If a picture's worth a thousand words, a look can be worth more.

As my hairdresser, Mr Gervaise of Mayfair, says, "Same old coiffeur, husband secure.

"New style of hair, husband beware."

Jake didn't do it. He's having an affair with his brother's wife.

-I'll wager there was an assignation last night.

-Madam?

-So what's he hiding in the cellar?

-Marriage can be hard, especially with your husband away every night.

-I don't know what you mean!

-Is this how you keep busy - making wedding dresses?

-This one's for your chauffeur's daughter.

-I just hope she doesn't meet a pig after her wedding.

-Pardon?

It's bad luck, see. Happened to me.

Explains everything.

Make no mistake, Mrs Hicks, either the truth comes out, or Jake hangs for murder.

You and he WERE together last night.

Yes. On the beach.

We always said if anyone suspected, we'd just deny it.

-You're Jake's only alibi.

-Not necessarily.

No wonder he didn't want people looking in the cellar.

Plymouth Rocks. Beauties, aren't they?

-I believe you said they were stolen at midnight, sir.

-Yes, the squawking woke me. I ran out, but they'd gone.

-Are you sure it was Jake?

-Positive.

-Why risk trial for murder rather than own up to pinching poultry?

He didn't want his affair with Delilah to come out.

-Will you release him?

-But what was Chastity's hair doing under his bed?

-Simple - someone tried to frame him.

-That's for Chastity... when they let me have her back.

-Postmortems take time, sir.

-Temperance is a lovely child, sir...

-Hello.

-That's beautiful handwriting.

-It's called copperplate.

-Is it a story?

-About Chastity going to heaven.

You should frame it, hang it up at home.

Perhaps. People think I'm sad, but I'm not because she'll be with Mummy. Daddy says so.

Well, he should know.

I'm afraid my belief in God is roughly on a par with my belief in the tooth fairy.

-Still, at times like this, even

-I

-can see that faith has a place.

So if Jake Hicks is in the clear, you're none the wiser.

-You still think her death is to do with the revival of some cult?

-Yes.

Black Jack Briggs murdered three women, all ritually sacrificed.

-He said he was re-enacting something called the Legend of Beelzebub's Virgin.

-Which was?

-A secret he took with him to the gallows.

-Good riddance. People who believe all that are barking mad.

Is there any history of any such cult here?

-There was something in the parish records, centuries ago, some pagan ritual.

-May I see it?

-The records? They're in Latin.

-Ne solicitus sis, perficiam.

-What was that?

-Don't worry, I'll manage.

Hello, Dad. ..Go on, ask him! YOU ask him. He's YOUR father!

We're short-staffed, so Ronald wondered if you'd help out in the dining room.

..Me? Serve people their dinner?

Luncheon, actually. ..If Mrs Bradley won't mind.

-Not at all. He's all yours.

-11.30, then?

Cheerio.

I once worked as a waiter, madam. I vowed never again.

But that was before it gave you the perfect opportunity to eavesdrop.

-Everything all right?

-No. She's got a one-armed man at table 4. It's bad luck.

Oh, yes.

-Poor chap.

-No, HER. It's an omen. You should read this.

Omens And Superstitions.

Thanks very much.

Oh! ..Beg your pardon!

-You look quite different out of your chauffeur's uniform.

-Must get on.

Customers waiting.

-I'm off tonight. Have you got time for a chat?

-What about?

-I'm getting married!

-Right. Course.

-Right, madam, lamb cutlets.

-Thank you, George. I ordered the fish.

Lamb will do.

Isn't the Inspector joining you?

-He's following up another lead. A smuggler's ring.

-What a shame.

Any useful kitchen gossip?

Yes, madam.

If you hold onions under water while you're peeling them, they don't make you cry. ..Not a dickey bird.

-Are these the parish records?

-Yes.

Nothing so far, but I'm only up to the 15th century.

-What's the matter?

-Inspector Christmas has been attacked!

We've had reports of smugglers. Someone gave me a crack on the head, knocked me out cold.

We've got to find this lunatic...

You're going nowhere but home. Will you be all right?

Then, YOU are coming with me!

Madam!

Cognac, madam.

Looks like he was heading for that fisherman's cabin.

A worsted viper. And a pentagram.

"Ab hoc ducere."

I think we can safely assume that this is the strangler's lair.

-You'd better stay and keep watch.

-On me own?

Try and be a brave boy.

We'll go over the parish records this evening.

-I was hoping to see Cecily tonight, madam. She's after some advice on marriage and such like.

-Such like?

I've never heard it called that before. Good luck.

Little children - headache. Big children - heartache. So the saying goes.

There are three golden rules for bringing up children.

Alas, nobody knows what they are.

This is Mrs Bradley. Someone appears to have been in my room. ..Thank you.

-He could do with some bacon.

-No, he couldn't.

-It's a cure for baldness, but only if it's stolen.

-Not you as well!

Dung placed around the house will bring good luck, and flies!

If a bride spills a drop of blood on her wedding dress,

-she'll be dead by Christmas.

-Believe that, you'll believe anything!

-Dad?

-Mm?

-What do you make of Ronald?

-Nice enough.

-Dad!

-Well, he's a bit... What's the word? ..alembicated for my liking.

-Alembicated?

-Stuck-up. La-di-da.

-Hark who's talking.

-There's a difference between affectation and education.

I know he's not everyone's cup of tea, but he's a good man, Dad, and I love him.

Here you go. All you need to know regarding wedding, night of.

-Wedded Bliss by Adela Bradley.

-If you need any more, write to Miss Behaviour at the newspaper.

I have. "I'm soon to be married and I worry about first-night nerves..."

That'll do. I'm your dad, not your doctor.

-If you love him, well and good. But remember, you get what you settle for.

-And you got Mum?

She weren't so bad - till she got ideas.

-Is she coming to the wedding?

-I wouldn't know where to send the invitation.

What about you? Anyone special? Or have you got your hands full with Mrs Bradley?

-Meaning what?

-Nothing.

Come on. I'll race you up.

# There is a time and place for everything

# You're everything, right now's the time and your place is in my heart

# And besides, there isn't anything

# I'd rather do than cuddle you

# With your 50 million charms... #

Must be a mistake. We've got our supper.

-You're feeling better, sir?

-Yes. We were...discussing

-who tore out half the parish records and why.

-Someone broke in?

I'm fine. But Ronald's passkey is missing. Somewhat disturbing with a murderer around.

-Which is why, George, I suggest you bolt your door tonight.

-I'll bear that in mind, sir.

Good night.

LAUGHTER

-After a new job, are we?

-No, Mrs Quincy. Just a spot of supper.

-Call me Myrtle.

Sounds like a village in Suffolk your name. Welcome to Myrtle Quincy.

I DO like a sense of humour.

Why don't I join you? I'll get a bottle from my husband's cellar.

Oh, your husband! I'm not sure he'd approve.

Funny man! He's 6ft under! Has been ten year.

..Everything all right with your plumbing?

..Beg your pardon?

-Gentleman in the next room says his pipes are blocked. Are yours in working order?

-..Far as I know.

Good-o.

..Back in a jiffy.

Whoever stole the parish records must be involved with Chastity's murder and trying to hide something.

-But why not take the whole volume?

-Too big?

He'd be spotted. I put a 24-hour watch on the beach. Nothing so far.

-I'm convinced it's a disciple of Black Jack Briggs.

-Did he have family?

A brother, I believe. His mother died shortly after he was hanged.

I can't remember. It was all so long ago.

You must have been a babe in arms.

-I do believe you're flirting with me, Inspector.

-Why don't you call me Henry?

I don't recall ordering that.

Just going over the wedding plans.

When you've finished, perhaps one of you would remove...the snake.

-Snake?

-In my hotel?

Never!

LOUD SCREAM

Whisky, Henry?

-I apologise again. I've never been very fond of snakes.

-I won't breathe a word.

-Snake's all taken care of.

-I'm so sorry.

It must have been someone's attempt at a practical joke.

-No, it was someone's attempt to scare me.

-Well, they're no match for a team like you and me.

-Madam.

-Just a minute, George.

-We'll get him.

-I hope you're right, Henry. Good night.

-Good night.

-Madam.

-I'll see you out, Inspector.

You were saying?

There was a light out at sea, from a boat. Morse code.

-Why didn't you tell me?!

-I tried.

Nothing there now. What did it say?

-2200, the cabin. Could be smugglers planning a rendezvous.

-Possibly.

It's midnight, so they must mean tomorrow. Question is, who was the message for?

-One for the team, madam? You and Henry?

-And you, George. Good night.

-In case you were wondering...

-Wondering? About what?

-Nothing, madam, it was...

-What you do in your own time is your own...affair.

All that remains is to thank you all for coming.

Please, help yourselves.

-That was a very moving service. You did your daughter proud.

-Thank you.

-What's going on?

-Bound to get out. The results of the postmortem -

Chastity was expecting a baby.

..Constable, have you no sense of discretion?

I just wanted to pay my respects.

What do YOU know about respect? You defiled my daughter!

If you know what's good for you, stay away!

I know what you're all thinking...

about my daughter!

Well, he that is without sin among you,

let him first cast a stone at her!

You DID frame it. How lovely.

What a wonderful crab.

-I caught it.

-Will you catch one for me?

-I'll try.

And more paintings by Chastity.

I, er...took the liberty of nipping upstairs to search her room, madam.

She seems to have had another "admirer".

"If lust is a sin, I am damned by my desire for you."

-Anything I should know?

-A note written on a typewriter with no E.

And an entry in Chastity's diary the day she died - 11pm,

-LH.

-LH?

Lester Hicks!

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

So how many other people do you know with the initials LH?

-I said I d-didn't write that note.

-Then we'll take some fingerprints,

and check that the letter E is working properly.

All right. S-So I had a s-soft spot for Chastity.

-No harm in that.

-Did you tell your brother's fiancee about this soft spot,

-or merely write her unpleasant letters?

-I've never been good with the ladies.

-Where were you the night she died?

-M-M-Manning the lighthouse.

Terrible stammer the poor boy has.

I should imagine the reasons for it

stem from his childhood, and if he IS involved in the cult...

-Why wasn't he arrested?

-For writing a letter? The rest is circumstantial.

-Sorry. I'll wait outside.

-Oh, no, do join me.

-You missed your vocation, George. You're getting good at this.

-Praise indeed, sir.

I took the opportunity to check Chastity's locker. I found this.

£100.

-Must be the legacy.

-But the vicar said there WAS no legacy,

-so where did Chastity get this?

-Another piece of the puzzle. An hour to go.

-Oh, I told the inspector about the Morse code. He's coming with us.

-Very good, madam. I'll get the car.

You clicked.

-I'll have a glass of port while we wait.

-I thought you liked whisky.

-Picked up the port habit in the Army.

-I imagine you look well in uniform.

Would you like a taste?

-Mrs Quincy says she might offer you a job.

-I might just take it.

Hold still! You're under arrest!

Oh, no, you don't!

Ohh! Ow!

-Sorry, sir.

-Oh, well, a bird in the hand, as they say.

-Dress-making and smuggling - a busy bee.

-I wanted money to get away.

-Who was on the motorcycle?

-No idea.

-My bet is it's your brother-in-law.

-Jake's out on the boat.

-We'll check.

-Tell me, would you know how to send an SOS in Morse code?

-No. Why?

Now listen to me. This is my final case. My reputation hangs on this.

I'm not bothered about smugglers. I want Chastity Baines' murderer.

-If you or your pal are mixed up...

-We're not!

-Tell me who was on the motorcycle,

-or I'll tell Lester you're cuckolding him with his brother!

-Go to hell!

Come on, Delilah. Confession's good for the soul.

Don't do this, please!

Lester?

I didn't hear a thing. I just turned round, and there he was, behind me.

-Wearing a robe and a hood?

-Knocked me out.

Next thing, I c-coming round on the beach with that round me neck.

I've said some prayers in my time, but never like last night.

-I'd assumed the strangler was after me.

-Indeed.

-He will be here on Tuesday...

-Then why would he try and kill Lester?

Sorry, madam. I'll get your key.

RHYTHMIC TAPPING

-Do you know what this is, Mr Quincey?

-SOS.

Spot on. Tell me, what use would a hotel under manager have for Morse code?

-I think you owe George an apology. That was quite a punch last night.

-What punch?

-Chastity found out about your smuggling.

-We're not interested in cognac.

We're after a killer!

It was dawn...a few weeks ago.

Chastity was on the beach, painting. I didn't see her, but she saw me bringing the booze in

-from the boat.

-And threatened to tell the police?

-No! ..I don't know.

-Where were you the night she died?

-Here, playing cards with Mother.

-Then I went to bed.

-That's your alibi?

CECILY: Postpone the wedding?!

Just to be on the safe side...

I'm picking up my wedding dress this afternoon,

and this time next week, I'll be Mrs Ronald Quincy!

-I'm just saying...

-You're saying the man I love might be a murderer.

-If you think that, forget the wedding, cos you're not welcome.

-Cecily!

Um...the inspector's just found these.

Some sort of ceremonial robes

-on the cliff-edge. What a way to go.

-Not necessarily.

The strangler could've faked his own suicide to throw us off the scent.

-As Lester Hicks could've staged the attack on himself.

-Possible, but there is someone else.

Chastity's own father. As you once wrote, Mrs Bradley,

-"like charity, murder often begins at home".

-Yes.

It might be worth paying Rev Baines' sister a visit to check his alibi.

And we will invite ourselves to tea at the vicarage.

-I'm glad you came. You can advise me on what to do about being burgled.

-Oh? When?

The day of Chastity's funeral.

-Strangely, they just took some of my correspondence.

-Anything important?

Well, yes AND no.

Have you...heard of Miss Behaviour in the Gazette?

Yes.

-Well,

-I

-am Miss Behaviour.

-An unusual sideline, sir.

-I like to help people,

and it tells me what's going on in the parish.

-I hope I can rely on your discretion.

-Of course. Why would anyone steal letters from your column?

-No idea.

Er, these...

These are some of the printed ones.

"Dear Miss Behaviour, my wife and I have been wed six years

"yet to this day I remain a complete stranger to coition."

-To who?

-The marriage is unconsummated.

-"I fear I may die without knowing the pleasures of the flesh."

-Ah, yes. P-Perplexed of P-Porth Carrack.

Lester Hicks? No wonder he sleeps at the lighthouse.

Hold on, madam. Are we saying that he's married but he's never had...

-..relations? Not even once?!

-It's not unheard of.

Deep anxiety, a physical problem.

The poor man must be in torment. ..How did you know it was Lester?

-Aren't the letters anonymous?

-He signed his.

People often slip up. Like your daughter.

She wrote on notepaper from Quincy's Hotel. ..Ah!

Temperance. ..She's very pleased with herself.

-She has a present for you. Caught it herself.

-Thank you very...

These are pages from the parish records.

Where did you find them?

This explains the blocked plumbing at the hotel.

The thief must've flushed these pages away, forgetting they'd re-emerge.

-Totally illegible.

-Is it important?

It might've helped us find out what happened to your sister.

Why?

-She's copied out some pages of the parish records.

-To practise my copperplates.

-Lots of it, too!

Eureka! "The Legend of Beelzebub's Virgin."

Er, this may not be suitable for young ears.

Temperance, some tea, I think.

Bear with me. I'm translating from the Latin.

"Exactly 200 years ago, a cult began right here in Porth Carrack.

"On the eve of her wedding, a young woman is found dead on a beach,

"shorn of her hair, strangled by a worsted viper.

-"The culprit is tried...hanged... A blacksmith, Mr Edmund..."

-Briggs.

-"..leader of the Ophidian Brotherhood."

-Ophidian - snakes, serpent-like?

"Briggs's last words were, 'At the twelfth hour of the virgin death,

" 'darkness shall hold dominion over the beacon of light.' "

-He predicts his execution will be avenged on the anniversary of his death, July 3rd.

-When Chastity died.

-An innocent girl is strangled for this?

-But she wasn't innocent. She wasn't a virgin.

-So a second virgin must be found.

-Lester Hicks?

-But he survived.

-So another victim is needed.

Another virgin...

Oh, my God! "Dear Miss Behaviour, I'm soon to be married and am worried about first-night nerves."

If the vicar guessed it was Cecily, so will the strangler.

Oh, it's perfect.

Thank you so much!

Ow!

You left a pin in.

It's a good job I'm not superstitious.

There! As good as new.

I'll get something to wrap it in.

'She left some time ago.'

Straight back to the hotel she said.

SHOE SQUEAKS

Hello! What are YOU doing here?

SCREAMS MINGLE WITH SEAGULLS' SCREECHING

Right, ladies and gentlemen, she's been missing for two hours.

Before we start the search, Cecily's father would like a word.

Number one, thank you for helping.

Number two, I believe someone here knows what's happened to Cecily.

When I find out who you are... God help you.

Shall we go?

There's been trouble on the beach again.

Constable Sharp's been attacked on lookout duty. Someone knocked him out.

These marks are new.

Black crosses.

"Ab hoc ducere - let THIS be your guide."

Placing this between the crosses, we should get a perfect fit.

-A map reading with the uppermost point indicating...

-The church.

Stop the car.

That wasn't there yesterday.

There's something in here.

It's Cecily's hair.

Two possibilities. One, he's taking her to the church.

-Two, he'll bring her here.

-Well, let's just toss a coin(!)

-I think he'll bring her here. Why else build this pyre?

-It's a trick.

-What about the map and the church?

-She's my daughter!

-Very well. You take the church, I'LL stay here.

-I should've seen this coming. I could've warned her.

-It's not your fault, George.

-I'm her father!

-I shouldn't have been worrying about you and the inspector.

-What do you mean?

Nothing, madam.

Nobody knows what's going to happen, but I DO know you're not to blame.

We haven't been getting on very well lately, have we?

-It's not for me to say, madam.

-Well, I'm saying it.

There are some people who think we make a rather formidable team.

-Oh, yes?

-Yes.

And I'm one of them.

Me too, madam.

CRUNCHING

ANIMAL YELPS

Just a fox.

Look. "Ada Briggs,

-"1846-1900.

-Beloved mother."

-Of Black Jack?

-Well, the dates fit.

-And the grave has been well tended.

-Probably by one of Black Jack's disciples.

If it's a Briggs family link, how do we explain the business with the Hicks, and Chastity's diary entry -

-"11pm, LH." Lester Hicks has to be the last person who saw her alive.

-Unless...

LH wasn't a person but a place.

"June 2nd, PL."

Potted Lobster!

-"June 10th...QH."

-Quincy's Hotel. All the places she's painted!

-"July 3rd, LH."

"At the twelfth hour of the virgin death,

"darkness shall hold dominion over the beacon of light!"

So the clues to the church and the box on the beach were part of a wild-goose chase

which the smuggling had nothing to do with.

Everything else the strangler has planned like a military operation.

CECILY WHIMPERS

(Oh, Cecily! Cecily!)

Don't even THINK of running!

I know who you are. No-one else could've stayed ahead of me.

-Is Cecily all right?

-Yes, thank God!

-Who will YOU thank?

When you go to the gallows for the murder of Chastity Baines, who will have mercy on YOUR soul?

What a battle royal this has been, fought with military precision as befits a military man.

Good of you to worry about my soul, Mrs Bradley.

-I have all the salvation I need.

-You KNEW that Jack Briggs had a family.

-Is that so?

-He was your brother.

Not just my brother.

My hero.

My guiding light.

The day he died, the light went out.

"Blessed be the name of the Lord."

They hanged Jack on Christmas Eve.

Good name, Christmas, don't you think? Good alias for someone starting a new life.

Someone who thinks every day about what you did to his family.

Mother loved it here.

Heaven on earth she called it when we were kids.

Summer holidays.

Just me, Jack and her - the three of us against the world.

Why?

For the Brotherhood.

For our Jack.

And then YOU turned up,

like a bad dream. I knew you'd cause trouble,

but I didn't anticipate George finding Jake's alibi.

The closer you got to the truth,

the harder I worked to keep you at bay.

I knew the postmortem results long before Chastity's funeral.

All I could think was, "Who else?

"Who else?"

But when Lester survived,

I was forced to find another victim.

-Hello.

-It was her destiny, the will of the Ophidian Brotherhood.

-Stop this charade!

-"Darkness shall hold dominion..."

-And spare me the grandiloquent nonsense.

-Nonsense?

-You said yourself that one man's mumbo jumbo is another man's faith.

-Faith? This was murder,

-dressed up as ritual sacrifice to disguise a tawdry truth.

-"At the twelfth hour of the virgin death..."

Listen to Mrs Bradley. I said...

..listen!

Goodness knows how, but Chastity knew you were Jack Briggs' brother.

A shameful family secret hidden for years. She blackmailed you. That's how she got the £100.

Inspector Henry Christmas, brother of a madman, a murderer.

How would that go down at Scotland Yard?

What would happen to your hard-earned reputation? No MBE, that's for sure,

just exposure and disgrace.

-Believe what you like!

-It's not a question of what I believe. I KNOW.

-What

-I

-know is my brother was ill!

He needed help!

But he got the gallows! YOU did that!

My mother died of a broken heart!

Your mother died of shame.

-How dare you?!

-Your mother, the girls your brother killed, were all innocent victims of Jack's madness.

But YOU are entirely sane,

and as such, nothing but a common killer!

'It seems like yesterday'

-that Cecily was a baby.

-Dad!

But today she's Mrs Ronald Quincy,

a wife. And what IS a wife? Well, the best definition I know

is a woman who stands by her man

through all the trouble he wouldn't have if he hadn't got married!

Cecily...

Ronald... all the happiness in the world.

Ladies and gentlemen,

if you'd charge your glasses

with this rather fine cognac, I give you the bride and groom.

The bride and groom.

# I've lots on my mind Plenty to do but I can find

# Oceans of time to spare for you Only for you

# I work quite a lot Busy all day but still I've got

# Oceans of time to spare for you. #

I wouldn't presume to offer advice to the happy couple,

but if I DID, I'd strongly advise patience, tolerance and, above all, separate bathrooms!

Be kind to each other.

Thank you, madam.

-Look after her.

-I promise.

You're always welcome.

Bye, Dad.

Best be off, then.

-Are you all right, George?

-Mmm! Never better.

Someone appears to have left a rose.

-I believe you said you liked a splash of colour about the place.

-Thank you, George.

Thank YOU, madam.

# I've lots on my mind Plenty to do but I can find

# Oceans of time to spare for you Only for you

# I work quite a lot Busy all day but still I've got

# Oceans of time to spare for you

# When others have an hour or two They try and wonder what to do

# But I just find myself with you contented

# Life seems one long grind Nevertheless I'll always find

# Oceans and oceans and oceans of time to spare for you... #

Subtitles by Mary Easton and Judith Simpson - BBC Scotland 2000