Episode 5 Truckers

Will you have a look at my rig? What?

I want to muck about with you, Glen.

This isn't funny, Wendy.

I'm offerin' up to you.

On a plate!

No, I'm going out with Caroline.

It's got nothing to do with Caroline,

it's just a bit of fun and it isn't going to affect anything.

It's just you and me and now and after that,

we'll we never say another word.

HE PANTS

WOMAN: Oh, yeah.

Dad! Glen?!

I've had another. Malachi?

Oi. That's nothing. Just a bit of online gambling.

I ain't got a problem, though. I'm lathered in sweat.

Son. They're not easing off, Dad. They... Glen!

I could taste it!

Really? Do you want a Jaffa Cake? Cleanse your palate.

No!

It will get better. I promise. You haven't give it long enough.

That's all. I dunno, Dad...

That's all.

You don't need to rush on my account.

Oh, I'm not. I'm... I had to get up early, anyway. So...

Thanks for this. The pillow.

Memory foam. Astronauts use it.

It's really kind of you.

Just want you happy in bed, Michelle.

HE COUGHS

You know. So you're productive.

So, why are you in so early?

Oh, we've got an opportunity - international freight.

No chocolate. Sorry. Oh, it's fine.

Er, Athens. Bloke I knew at Norska,

he's moving over there to head up a big dairy operation.

Mostly yoghurts and cheeses.

I still don't quite see.

Oh. Time difference.

I want to speak to him on the phone, so it made sense.

Still quite early, though, in Athens, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, but they do start first thing.

That's...that's a known fact.

It gets so hot later, so they all have a little sleep.

I see.

Plus, it's...it's quite nice here,

just the two of us, before anyone else gets here.

Gives us a chance to chat, about stuff, you know,

without...without other people hearing.

DOOR OPENS

Morning.

What are you doing here? Eh?

Well, overnight in Donny, then multi drops round Sleaford.

Yeah. I've done 'em. I'm just swapping trailers.

Then I'll get on again. But you're miles ahead of schedule.

Yeah, I started early.

You never do that! You're the last to come in, you...

I couldn't settle! My head was going round and I preferred to get up

and get on the road.

I'll just grab a quick one of those before I crack on.

You look terrible. You've got dark circles under your eyes.

Yeah, well, like I say, I'm not sleeping too well.

It's fine, though. It'll pass.

All these things pass, don't they?

Depends on what they are.

CAR APPROACHES

It's Wendy.

Wendy?! She's not due in until 8.30.

Actually, I think my stomach's feeling a bit, erm, catch you later.

I, er...

Busy.

All right?

Dad.

Glen.

I can't do it. I mean, I'm trying but it's impossible.

I've only got to see her and I did just now in the office...

Thing is, Glen, can we do this a bit later? What?

Pick this up. Tonight. You... No! No! I'm desperate.

I know. And I'm feeling your pain. I-I just think, you know, for now,

you should basically clear off and get on with your work!

This must be Glen, then?

Son. I'd like you to say hello to Pauline.

Pleased to meet you, heard a lot about you.

Oh, he looks different with his clothes on, doesn't he?

Excuse me?

It was me on your dad's laptop this morning.

I didn't see everything cos he closed the lid too quick,

but I, er, got a flash!

So why don't we organise some more drinks

and then we can all have a chat?

Oh, Mal. I think I could manage another of them bacon sarnies.

Give you a bit more to grab hold of!

Janine. Coffee, please, two more cuppas and another squealer, please.

Is she your girlfriend, then?

No! But we're friends. I bumped into her at Ceroc.

Literally as it turned out. What?

Ceroc. It's a dance craze that's sweeping Europe.

You don't dance.

I do now! I've taken up one or two new things lately.

Look, what happened, eh? We're talking about you now, son.

Your troubles. Tell me what it is.

You know what it is! And it isn't going to get any better!

No matter how long I leave it.

I'm never going to stop feeling like this until I tell Caroline.

Oh, Glen! How many more times?! It wasn't your fault!

You got caught up in some weird, psycho-sexual, guilt-tripping,

mutually-destructive meltdown,

which Steven and Wendy now describe as falling in love,

and you were...

I'd say seduced but it doesn't feel right in connection wi' Wendy.

I was unfaithful! And I ought to face the consequences.

Son, you're not listening to anything I'm saying,

so I'm going to try and put it another way. OK?

Grow up!

Eh?

Look around you!

You're still living at home with your mum, you're still going out

with your first girlfriend. You've led a charmed life, Glen!

But it can't last for ever and what you need to do is put what's

happened into perspective - into an adult perspective -

where things don't always run smooth, but everyone survives!

You do that, Glen, and I guarantee that all the sleepless nights,

along with any thoughts about ill-advised confessions,

they'll all go away.

I promise you.

Here you go, Mal. Thanks.

MUSIC ON RADIO: "Kiss You" by One Direction

RADIO STATIC

ARIA PLAYS

'For we know only in part and we prophesy only in part,

'but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end.

'When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I

'thought as a child but when I became a man I put away childish things.'

Hey!

Glen!

How are you? What are you doing here?

Oh, I was just in the area.

I thought you were in Sleaford today?

No. I mean, I was.

But I-I came back early to run you into work.

What?

Come on. Got me wagon over there. Come on!

I got you these an' all.

Garage off Colwick Loop Road. They didn't have the fresh ones delivered

by the time I went in, so... They're lovely.

Right, then.

After you, then, ma'am. Your carriage awaits.

You're not breaking up with me, are you? What?

I've read stuff, where the bloke's really nice

and it's cos he's winding up to say, "I don't want to see you no more."

No. And I'll be honest, Glen,

you haven't been yourself this past week. So...

No! No. I swear! Break up?

God, no, I, no, just the opposite. I...

I-I-I never want to break up with you.

You're everything to me. You're like... You're my soul mate.

I can't imagine a single day on earth without you.

That's good, then, isn't it?

Yeah. It is. It's brilliant.

It's more than brilliant. It's incredible.

You're incredible and...

Will you marry me?

What?!

I'm asking if you'll...

HORN BEEPS Way-hay! Good on you.

SHE LAUGHS

Will you...marry me?

Now I-I ain't got a ring, to be honest,

I hadn't thought that far ahead but...

Are you serious? Yeah, of course I am.

We've been going out for ever and I don't love anybody else.

I really don't! Yeah, that time I said I fancied Megan Fox...

Everyone fancies her. Exactly, what I mean is...

I don't have feelings for any other person in the whole wide world.

Do you understand me? You're the one.

Oh, Glen. Glen, I love you. Of course I'll marry you.

SHE LAUGHS HAPPILY

Yeah... Yeah, great, great.

Fine, that's fine. Yeah.

Right, see you then. See you.

Done, then? At last.

Sorry, you've been out there ages. It seemed...

I mean, I...I dunno. I've been on the phone so it's hard to say.

I've spoken to VOSA about the CPC stuff.

They say it has got to be carried at all times.

Terrific, terrific, thank you, that's...

You're very good, Michelle - very thorough.

Cheers.

I'd like to, er...officially recognise that.

I've got a couple of tickets to the Playhouse tomorrow night.

I thought you might like to... Yeah.

Good. Good. That's...that's excellent.

And I also thought that afterwards, I mean,

after the rewards scheme bit,

if we...if we want to go on, we could...?

Yeah. That an' all. That'll be nice.

Terrific, er, yeah...

Er, iPad...

VINCE CHUCKLES

Come here, son.

Congratulations. I am so pleased for you.

Thank you. Thank you, Vince. I suppose I should've asked you really

if it was all right, before... You know it's all right.

He cried when I told him. Caroline!

Oh, it's lovely! It shows you care. Yeah, well, I do.

Plus, it made me think of your mum and what she'd have said

if she'd have been here. Aw, Dad.

What about your mum? Was she chuffed?

Well, I haven't told her yet. I can't get hold of her anyway.

She's on a retreat with Kyle.

They don't let you have mobile phones.

They don't let you have shoes... Oh, no.

It's all right, they let you have orgasms.

I think that's why they go. It's, er, Tantric.

He wants to throw us a party.

Really?

Tonight! I can delay but... Your mum won't mind, will she, Glen?

I mean, we've still got the wedding to come.

She'll be right in the thick of that. Yeah, yeah.

Plus you'll have your dad with you this evening so...

Yeah, I was going to call him, actually, as soon as I'd seen you.

I'm sorry.

You don't think, do you, when you make these decisions,

how they're just going to grow?

Yeah, and he'll... he'll definitely be up for it.

I know he will.

Brilliant.

THEY LAUGH

All right?

Yeah. I am. Are you? You've been avoiding me all week.

No. I...

OK. I have, I'm sorry. Glen, it's sorted!

I know. I know. I know it is.

I'm getting married, anyway, so it's irrelevant now.

Usual, please, Rog. Will do.

Married? Yeah, to Caroline.

Well, I sort of assumed that.

It's brilliant, isn't it? It's...sudden.

No, no, no, it isn't. We've been going out nine years.

It's time, Steven. I'm ready.

Fine! Congratulations, then.

Cheers! I-I appreciate that.

And can I just say, I am glad there are no hard feelings about...

all the other stuff? Yeah. So am I.

These things happen. Don't they? In life.

No-one said it was going to be a smooth ride.

Too bloody right, mate! It's a sodding roller coaster.

Oh, we're having a little...a little get-together at her dad's place -

drinks, nibbles, which you're invited to, everyone is,

Wendy included,

and Michelle and everyone and, yeah,

I'm going to have a little ring round. All right.

Oh, any advice? On a happy marriage?

I'm six years divorced, Glen.

Right. Yeah. Good point.

Just be honest.

If you want to avoid my fate, that's the key,

you've got to lay it all out there, for better or for worse.

So, for instance, day one, I should've said,

"I can't keep me cock in me trousers, Danielle,

"is that going to be a problem?"

She would've replied, "Yeah." And we'd have ended it there and then.

That would've been the right thing to do,

because I wasn't really ready to settle down in them days.

You see what I'm saying? Honesty is the best policy.

Right from the kick-off. So I should tell Caroline about Wendy.

God! No! What are you on about?! But you said...?

I said honesty not suicide. Jesus, Glen! What is the matter with you?

You never meant to do it.

Yeah, what if I explain that to Caroline?

She'll only crush one of your knackers!

Haven't you learned anything?

Gosh!

Wow.

Do I look all right?

You look like an angel.

You've not scrubbed up too badly, either.

Thanks. It's me lifter gear.

I thought you wore that when you wanted to pick your mood up?

Yeah, or, like, you know,

when I'm up already and I just want to be on the ceiling.

Ah-h! Have you been in?

No. No, I...

I had a look on me way back from work.

He's decorated and he's done mounds of food.

Has he?

Come on. Let's make an entrance.

LAUGHTER

But, above all, I just want to say thanks for coming down tonight

and helping me to celebrate the fact that my daughter,

my one and only child, Caroline...

is marrying probably the only bloke in this entire town

who I think is worthy of her...

Glen Davies, by that beautiful woman at the bar. Hey, Glen!

What are you doing talking to her?

You don't want to tell me something, do you?

LAUGHTER

And that's it.

Except for one, final thing, which is to ask you to indulge a proud

father and raise your glasses to a wonderful couple -

Caroline and Glen.

ALL: Caroline and Glen!

Sorry, I won't...I won't keep you long, I just want to add to that

by expressing my gratitude, well, the gratitude of all of us who

aren't paying for this...

LAUGHTER ..to Vincent for, for laying on this event,

but also and mainly, for bringing your

Caroline into the world so that she could meet my Glen.

You know, cos... cos he's a special boy.

Hear! Hear!

No. I mean it!

He is, he's my only child and I love him that much

and I'm just so glad that he's met a girl like Caroline,

who's his childhood sweet...well, his only sweetheart,

and she makes him that happy and she is...she's one in a million.

Absolutely, so...so that's it!

And I just want to join Vince in wishing them all the success

in the world as they finally go forward now and do the deed.

LAUGHTER

Hey, hey, now, I wasn't being smutty there.

When I meant do the deed, I meant... Eh?

..do the deed, marriage... Off you get, mate!

I'm going to get...

Right, mate. Another one, cheers.

What's wrong?

Us! The looks, the atmosphere, we've got to get over it.

Yeah, yeah.

Just be normal.

Oh, I'm getting married. It doesn't get more normal than that.

But it's, er, it's hard, you know, cos

not everyone's in the loop...my end.

And that's a strain. What do you mean?

Oh, it doesn't matter. You're right. We need to, er, we need to start over

and I-I don't want you feeling guilty, anyway, so...

Well, I don't. No. Well...

All right, I'll see you later, then. Yeah.

There you go.

You all right?

Yeah. No, yeah, good, brilliant, yeah.

You don't look it.

Oh, well, you know the thing is, Michelle, I'm, er...

Hey! Hey!

Hey. Sorry I'm so late. I got held up at the office.

Nah, it's fine...

You're here now. That's all that matters. You should get a drink.

The food's fantastic. Right? Magic! I'm starving.

No, no, you...you run along. I'll catch you kids later.

Good lad, Glen. Well done.

Honestly, I've been smiling ever since you told me.

Great. Onwards. Exactly!

Malachi, come and look at these prawns!

Seriously! They're massive!

Flipping heck, Glen! Careful.

Oh, yeah, no. I will be. Definitely.

Remember that Boxing Day, round our house?

When you'd just turned 16 and my dad let you have some wine.

Oh! He said after that

he had never seen a human being go that colour before.

SHE LAUGHS

Talking of which...

It's what you bought me! That Christmas.

Oh. Didn't know you still had that.

Course I have. I've got everything you've ever bought me.

HE SCOFFS Don't be daft.

I've got a great big box.

Well, three. Then, one day, when I'm old and the kids have all

left home and you're shuffling about in a sweater, trying to find your

glasses, I'll be able to get them all down again and look at them.

Come on. You look peaky. Shall we get you some food?

Oh, they've got them stuffed peppers. You love them. Oh.

And that grilled cheese you like.

Great.

Just make sure you take plenty.

Thing is, I slept with Wendy. What?

I...me-me-me and Wendy, we had sex. About a week ago.

I never meant to. It just happened.

No, no, no, don't, don't, Caroline, please. It...it just happened.

I swear. One minute I'm DJing, the next minute I'm...

and I'm so sorry, really. I am.

Please, I love you that much! Please, Caroline, please forgive me.

Please...

Dad! I've got to go.

You can't do that.

Please, come on.

What is it, son?

Thank you, everyone! Sorry, I shan't be a second.

And I'm sure quite a few of you just want to finish your tapas

and then get off home and make, sweet, sweet love to one another.

Or you men you could do what my ex-fiance Glen has just done,

which is to just slip away now, while your partner's not looking,

and then go and screw some slag behind her back...

..and then make sure you nip home later,

while she's in bed, lying asleep, dreaming of you and the future

that you've both got together and then just whap it in there an' all.

Introduce her to the delights of your still-slightly-warm cock.

Pre-enjoyed. Isn't that what they say now? Second-hand goods?

Yeah, pre-enj...

I thought you loved me!

You pig.

You bastard pig!

It's OK. It's OK.

Can see there hasn't been a woman around for a while.

Oh, did you make one of those for me, love? Yeah.

It's not dirty. It's not dirty at all.

It's just not what I'd call clean.

God, I'm buggered and I've ate that much.

SHE BURPS Did you try those little sausages?

They were magnificent. I've brought half a dozen back in a serviette.

They're in me coat pocket if you fancy one.

Funnily enough, my appetite isn't that great.

Oh, you've got to eat,

especially in a crisis. Nowt's as bad on a full stomach.

She has got a point, Wendy. I'm going to bed.

Yeah, me too. See you in the morning.

You take my bed, son.

Thanks, Dad.

Actually, Mal. You don't think Glen would prefer the sofa?

No. I'm sure he wouldn't.

Really? Cos I think you'd struggle to get two on this. Two?

Well, if he's in yours, where are you and me going to?

Pauline! What?! Oh, he knows what's going on.

Bloody hell, he's a past master at it himself,

if what I just heard in that bar's all true.

It's fine, Dad, really, I don't mind. You keep yours, honest.

There you are. See? I'll go and get it warm.

Oh, and Glen, take it from one who's been round the block a few times,

once the corpse is cold,

there's no point wringing your hands over it.

Sleep tight.

So, she is your girlfriend, then? Pauline?

No. We go out, obviously.

She's a mate and occasionally...

PAULINE: I'm ready, Mal.

It's not serious. That's what I'm saying.

I'll see you in the morning.

Thanks for the lift.

My pleasure.

I'll see you in a few hours.

You...you don't fancy a coffee, or...?

Do you mind if I don't?

I mean, I would, only I'm thinking about the play tomorrow.

Oh, no, it's a comedy, it's Alan Ayckbourn.

No. I'm saying, it's a night out, isn't it? A proper one.

And this is the office, basically, so I'd sooner save myself...

..if you get what I mean.

No. Makes sense, right.

Tomorrow, then. Yeah.

MATTRESS CREAKS, MOANING

HE SIGHS

MALACHI: Sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh, no.

HE GRUNTS

Oh, son, how they must've gone at you.

Yeah, well, he was upset - Vince.

Upset? I'll give him upset!

Kicking a boy around like he's a football. It's disgusting.

Dad! Don't get so stressed!

No! I'm not stressed. Don't you worry about me.

It's like my dad used to say to me - don't get mad, son!

Get a length of lead piping.

Well at least it's over, it's...it's done now!

Hey! It's done when I say it's done!

The only way to stop a weed is to pull it out at the root.

Everyone knows that. Are you serious?

Course he is. This is a particular situation

and it requires a particular response - mano a mano.

Glen! What did I say?

As soon as you found yourself in that awkward situation with Wendy,

you walked through a door that you can't step back through now.

You're in a new world and you have to live according to its laws.

Yeah, you knew that kicking was coming, didn't you?

Yeah. Yeah, and you knew it was coming,

you accepted it, that's what happens.

I accepted it cos I deserved it.

You didn't deserve to end up looking like that.

But he's right, essentially you knew payback was inevitable -

so you went along,

same way as you've got to go along with the rest of it now.

I know it's not nice but that's why they call it growing pains.

I'm right, Glen! You know I am, so let's finish this

the way we have to.

We're going to show him that you're Glen Davies and that means summat.

I heard an engine.

Yeah, yeah, I'm done, I mean, what I could.

I was hoping you could split the rest of his round

between the others? Course.

Have you heard anything more?

Yeah! Steven texted.

They're still patching him up but they're not keeping him.

Brilliant! Brilliant... Oh?! What?

No, no, I sent him some stuff. He'll have no need for it now.

Oh, he delivered it anyway! Apart from the porn.

Yeah. I don't know what he meant by that. That's...

God, I am filthy!

My clothes. I mean, I'll have to have a wash.

You know, before tonight. That...that's what I was...

Then again, filthy, sometimes it's not such a bad thing, is it?

HE GIGGLES You...

Andrea.

Thanks, Michelle. That's lovely. Pleasure.

I'll go and finish tabulating those workers' time directives.

I-I'm surprised to see you. I'll be honest. I know, I know.

I thought twice about coming, but I sort of had to in the end,

just to say that I owe you, really, big time.

I'm still not clear.

What you said when we split up... about me, it made sense,

so I had a look at my priorities and I swapped a few of 'em around

and it's all been for the good, I think. Right...

I'm still at the same place, work-wise, booze and all that

but I'd like to get out, in truth.

Meanwhile, I'm part-time at the uni, studying nursing now -

terminal care, respite management, that sort of stuff.

Flipping heck. I know, but I want to do it, Martin.

I-I want to have a bit of a purpose in my life,

have a goal, you know? Yeah, that's...that's amazing.

It's a lot of work, especially with the day job.

That's why I look like this.

I've put on half a stone. I've never been so fat.

You don't look like you have. DRAWER SLAMS

I never train any more, I don't have the time,

so all the modelling's gone. No way.

I don't care, to be honest. It's so vacuous.

That...that means empty. Yeah. I know.

You get to a point, don't you?

How many times am I prepared to let my half-naked form be

electronically rendered through cyberspace so that

thousands of men can utilise me as their favourite masturbatory aid?

Mm-hm.

Anyway! That's it.

That's...all I came to say really,

and you probably don't care and I wouldn't blame you.

I didn't behave very well, not for a long time, did I?

Yeah, well, well...it is nice that you've popped by actually.

And-and-and I am glad that you're doing OK.

You've sort of turned yourself around, that's terrific.

Oh...

It's all melted, must've been rubbing against me breast.

You can have it - parting gift.

Take care, Michelle. Lovely to see you again.

What are you doing?

I'm going out. What?

It's my own fault. I had an open goal last night.

What are you on about?

You! And Little Miss...Melty Tits!

You all right, mate?

I want to do it.

What?

If I'm here,

if I'm on this path, it ought to be me.

PROUDLY: Oh, son.

ENGINE REVS

Yes!

That should wake them up!

Bugger. I thought he might've clipped summat.

Hey, come here, you!

What the hell do you think you're doing?

Well, we're giving you some back.

Isn't that the way it works in your world, Vince?

Yeah! Oh! Here come the cavalry.

You'll pay for this.

Er, I won't, actually. He isn't finished, neither.

We're going to knock through. What? What?

Yeah, we're going to make it all alfresco.

The punters really like that.

I mean, less in winter, I admit. Any time you like, son.

Yeah. I...

You step one foot in that cab,

Glen, and I will not be held responsible for what happens to you.

Cos you've got his best interests at heart? It's nothing to do wi' you.

Oh, what, so now you want to talk about who should

and shouldn't be involved in all of this, do you?

Didn't bother you this morning when you pulled up with them two in tow.

That's summat he can't abide. I can't.

That sort of nasty behaviour,

which is ironic, really, seeing that he's an ex-tank-driver and got

asked to leave his regiment because he had anger management issues.

That's just the way he is - he insists on a fair fight.

He got what he deserved, Malachi.

He deserved to be put in hospital, did he?

He broke my little girl's heart.

You don't know the circumstances!

HE GRUNTS

MALACHI LAUGHS

Oh. You forget, don't you? I mean, it hurts when you laugh,

hurts when I breathe, hurts when I blink...

Hey-up, son. Snap!

What's going on?

What do you mean?

I-I heard laughter.

Well, it was summat Vince just said about whiplash.

You all right?

Not, not really, no. Oh, what's up?

What, aside from being on first-name terms with every casualty

nurse in Nottingham?

I'm surprised, Dad,

to find you two so pally, given the recent carnage.

Oh, Glen, it wasn't that bad.

I mean, we're not brilliant because you've got previous, and me and him,

well, you forget how a body hasn't got any give at our age. Yeah.

Oh, come on, Glen! The others didn't even visit the plaster room,

so it was quite a low attrition rate really.

What's changed between you two?! A couple of hours ago, you were...

you were rolling round in the dirt, trying to throttle each other!

We've had a chance to have a talk.

Oh, and you didn't think to try that before the violence?

How could he?! He had to retaliate, Glen, like for like.

I'd have done the same in his position. See?

I'm...I'm so sorry.

What are you doing? I'm talking!

I'm so sorry...

that I upset Caroline, that I hurt your daughter.

Your dad's already told me how it all happened and everything.

I told him it wasn't your fault. Dad, please!

Truth is, Glen, well, you can't make an omelette

without cracking a few eggs, can you? What?

Who gets to be old, who gets to have a wife

and a family without experiencing the odd...?

Pile-up. Exactly.

You're a young lad. You're a youth, Glen.

You wait until you're as old as me or your dad.

There's the life you go asleep to and the one you wake up to.

Well, they're very different places.

Yeah, but-but-but all the same.

He's going to have a word, aren't you, with Caroline?

You know what my grandad said to me on his deathbed?

He said, "I've slept with 17 women who

"weren't your grandmother, Vincent. But I only ever loved one."

Ah-h!

Let he who is without sin chuck the first stone, eh, Mal?

Bloody right, Vincent. Abso-bloody-lutely.

Right, Mr Barrett, X-ray for you.

And, Glen, can you go in your own bay, please?

Right, see you later, duck!

Go on, Glen, go and let 'em finish you off.

How could you do that?

What?

Agree with him, when he...

when he's sweeping it all under the carpet, he's making excuses.

Hang on! Hang on! He wasn't making excuses.

He was appreciating what happened in its full context.

What context? THE context - life!

Grown-up life. Yeah, if you like.

No. I don't. I don't like.

Son, you're still upset. It's the kicking...

It isn't the kicking. It's you, and it's...it's him!

Glen. Look, I appreciate that you're a bit raw and you maybe think

that we're acting in a way that you wouldn't in this situation but,

as has been established, you see the world like it's a U certificate,

whereas, in fact, the world is an 18.

It contains scenes of an upsetting nature,

of sex and violence and... All right, I get it! I get it.

The world is a shit hole, so I need to wake up and smell the turds!

Summat like that, yeah, but only a bit more...

Son, you need to be more of a pragmatist.

You have to put yourself in a position...

Stop it! Please, no more advice. I have had enough, I really have.

Hey, what...what are you doing?

Where are you going?

Glen! Glen!

Wait, son. No!

Look, don't run off.

I'm not running.

I want to help you.

Yeah? But this is my problem! And I need to solve it...

..the way I should've done right from the start.

Glen! HE WINCES

Just wait...

PHONE RINGS

Hiya, it's me. I couldn't have a lift, could I?

I've got nowhere to go...

What?

..to storm off to.

This is where I live.

So if I'm going to storm anywhere, it's got to be here.

Would you like me to leave?

Do what you want.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

It-it was unforgivable what I did

and I can't bear I've upset you how I have.

If I could do anything, anything, to turn the clock back, I would.

I don't care. I don't care.

You've done that, Glen.

You've taken the world and you've smashed it.

I'll never love anyone again how I loved you.

I'm not being dramatic. That's the truth. You're the first.

You'll be the most.

That's what you broke, not a heart,

hearts are nothing - you broke the world when it was perfect...

I swear I can... You're like everyone else, Glen.

You're selfish and you're mean and you say one thing

and you do another and that's the worst...

..because...because you're Glen Davies...

SHE SOBS

..and I thought you were different.

SHE SOBS

I prefer you.

What? She does look good

and she can link her big toes together behind the back

of her head, which I know isn't the same as being

able to speak Portuguese, say, but for somebody who is basically,

quite a shallow man, that has always really impressed me.

No, I can see that.

And now she's becoming a nurse and helping dying people

and that stops you in your tracks,

but I definitely, I definitely prefer you.

Prefer?

SHE TUTS

HE SIGHS

HE STIFFLES A SCREAM

I dunno why I said prefer!

You know, I open my mouth and it... and it just, it came out, you know.

And...and there are two of you, there were a minute ago.

And...and she has been a big part of my life.

You know, and...and maybe...maybe if you weren't around...

only you are, you are around and that's...

that's what I should've said.

You're there, Michelle, you are and...and...

..you're a game changer!

That's what we talk about in business -

when...when summat comes along and...

and it...and it rewrites the rules,

you know, it makes everything else that's gone before it obsolete,

and you...you're like Windows! The Windows operating system!

No, that-that-that's not what I mean.

What-what I...what-what-what I...

what-what I actually mean, what I mean, Michelle, is...

Oh, God, Michelle.

I love you! That's the best I can do.

That was all right, actually.

Glen!

Glen, come on, son, talk to me, please.

Glen! He isn't there, Mal.

Yard, then. I've got everywhere else covered.

Ring them! I have done! They're not answering.

You're worrying too much. He's probably just...

You didn't see the look in his eye before he went off.

It was...it wasn't right.

DOOR OPENS

Caroline...

He isn't here. He did come, but then he went.

Well, where's he gone?

I don't know. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry, Caroline.

Do you know how many times you get

your heart broken in a lifetime, love?

Once.

You'll survive it. We're stronger than them.

Listen, I'm telling you, he's not here.

Yeah, I will. I've already spoken to Steven.

Wendy, he's a very emotional boy. You don't know what he could do.

Mal. He didn't say owt, did he? Eh?

Glen! Did he say owt to you?

Well, he's...he's still in hospital, isn't he?

No, he cleared off before they'd finished with him.

Hey, is this thing working properly?

I'm not sure PCs are the thing Michelle's been

most across this morning. What-what-what are you doing?

I'm trying to track him down on his GPS. Glen down?

Yeah, what, am I talking double Dutch, here?! Yes! In his wagon!

His wagon's outside. I've only just done with it.

Well, it's not out there now. Why isn't this working, Michelle?!

Ah, come here. Let me see.

You could've stopped him. What?

I mean, how can you not hear a 44-tonne articulated lorry

setting off not 20 feet away from you. What were you doing?!

You really aren't picking up on the vibe, are you, Mal?

Look, I just want to find my son, all right?

He's on the 453. Heading north. Yes.

Oh, no. What's wrong? What is it?

Well, look where he's headed. Where?

Middleton Top. Oh, Jesus.

What's wrong? You've found him. That's good, isn't it?

No, not where he's going. It's Lovers' Leap. Eh?

That's what they used to call it.

Cos of all couples that used to go there. Forbidden love all that.

It's where they lobbed themselves off.

# Some people think they jive me

# But I know they must be crazy

# Can't see their misfortune

# Maybe if they're little lazy

# Walk through the fire

# Fly through the smoke... #

MUSIC: "Lucky Star" by Madonna

What are you doing?

Sticking to the speed limit. There's cameras down here. It's notorious.

Pauline! What? I've got six points on three different licenses.

I don't care! I'll take 'em. I just think...

Stop it! You're getting worked up.

You need to be picking your punches now, not flailing.

What are you on about? Right! Last one. Now I can press on a bit.

ENGINE REVS, HORN BEEPS

MOVE!

Bloody hell!

It'll be fine.

Will it?

It isn't your fault.

I don't want anything bad to happen to him, Steven.

Don't do it, son! Please! It's not worth it!

Hey, look, don't, don't. Stay back, stay back! Don't spook him!

Come on, Glen. Come away from the edge, mate.

What edge?

That edge! The one with the great bloody drop beyond it!

What's going on?

Look, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything I said.

I'll be honest with you, I'm not 100% sure which bit it was

that...that finally flipped you.

Flipped?

Caused the breakdown!

But I do accept that generally I might have tipped you over the edge,

not literally, obviously. Dad, you're...

Speak plain to him. He doesn't know what you're talking about.

Don't jump, Glen!

Jump?

See? That's clear. He knows what he's dealing with now.

You think I'm going to jump?

Glen, whatever it was that your dad said

and God only knows what that was...

You think I'm going to jump?!

Oh, don't tell me we've belted all this way... Steven!

So you're not?

No.

But... What?

Well, it's just, you know, the way you left, you,

you were shouting at us and your state were very agitated

and that's exactly how I'd be if I was going to chuck meself.

Malachi! Well, you didn't hear him or see him,

his whole tenor, it was...it was,

it was like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse all rolled into one.

Actually, you know what, Dad, that is why I'm here! It's precisely

because of that attitude that I've come to this place...

..assuming the worst,

expecting it.

I mean, really, why would you jump to that conclusion?

Other than that's the world that you're living in right now,

the one you've been trying to get me to sign up to lately -

the shit-will-hit-the-fan universe.

What are you nodding for? You're just as bad.

Well, that isn't very fair, is it?

Yeah. It's true! Caroline, she's got the right idea.

You set the bar high, you expect the best and if you get let down,

you walk away,

but you expect the best

and the funny thing is, Dad, that's exactly what you taught me.

What are you on about?

Up here, when I was little.

We stopped off here no end of times, didn't we?

When we were going away together on the weekends and holidays,

and even slept over on a couple of occasions, didn't we?

Yeah.

You loved it up here, cos you said,

this was the place where you had the world at your feet.

You remember that? And we'd sit right there, on that edge,

looking out, with the sun coming down, and something on the radio,

maybe a cup of tea for you, an orange squash for me...

..and you always took your boots off and wiggled your toes

and compared my feet with yours and said that I was catching up,

that I was...that I was becoming a man,

and it was perfect, wasn't it?

You'd look out there and you'd say, "Reach for the sky, son."

And you used to say, something else as well, Dad.

Do you remember?

Er, er...no! Odds and sods, you know...

Go your own way.

Go your own way.

And don't let anybody tell you you can't,

cos all that out there, all that space and beauty...

..it's all up for grabs, no matter what anyone says.

So I'm going back to that, Dad...

..because it is my world and I do set the rules

and I will live it exactly how I like and no-one,

not the ne'er say wells, or the cynics, or the pragmatists

are going to put me off...

..cos all they are, all them people with all the advice about not

having your head in the clouds and lowering your expectations

and being realistic...

..they're just the people who forgot what it looks like...off there,

when they saw everything clearly and they didn't need telling owt!

I'll see you lot in three weeks.

Where are you going?

Greece. I'm taking the Athens job. Oh, and Dad, will you...

tell Mum that I'm going to move out as soon as I get back?

I mean, I'll call her but it would be nice to give her the heads up.

Oh, and Martin, your flies are undone, mate.

Just...go on.

Oh, son.

I dunno what to say, my little lad - he's all grown up now, properly.

And Pauline...she's my girlfriend.

You knew that, didn't you? Yeah.

We're going to get a dog.

I just didn't want to upset you and your mum.

Dad, it's fine. I can take it. I like her.

She scares me a bit, but...she's a force.

I love you that much.

I do you, too, Dad.

I do you, too.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd