Episode 3 Versailles

This programme contains scenes of a sexual nature.

I see before me my friends...

..companions...

people I love and trust. CHEVALIER GROANS

Yet, there is a traitor in your midst,

seeking to destroy everything I've built.

A minister is murdered. Now, his wife.

HE SNORTS

SCATTERED COUGHS

If you have any courage,

stand up now...

..and show me your face!

If not, I shall hunt you down and I will...

HE BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER

MURMURING

-PHILIPPE:

-I'm sorry...

I'm sorry!

Won't happen again.

If not, I...

ALL HOWL WITH LAUGHTER

HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER

ALL LAUGH

How dare you insult me?!

Do you know who I am?!

I am the King!

I am Louis the Great!

-THEY SCOFF AND LAUGH

-No, come on!

What is the matter with everyone?

But the fact... The fact is, you're NOT the king.

We pretended you were because we found it amusing!

HOWLS OF LAUGHTER

Then who am I?

You are footservant to the second chamberlain.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-Then... Then, who is king?

-Ah!

HE GASPS

RUMBLING

LAUGHTER FADES

It is customary to bow to the King.

FAINT CHATTER OUTSIDE

BIRDSONG

HE COUGHS

One day it will end, won't it?

You have many reasons to renounce our affair.

Scandal.

The Queen.

The Church.

You're leaving?

I have duties to attend to.

-As do you, I assume.

-My duty is to attend to His Majesty.

What news of our daughter?

I am told she is in fine health.

You are told?

I saw her yesterday and the doctor assured me she was fit and strong.

I do not listen to court gossip.

The Church will do as I say, and as for the Queen...

..she is queen only in name.

FOOTSTEPS RECEDE

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

-She's poisoned his mind!

-Your Majesty...

Their bastard child lives here under my own roof!

SHE BREATHES RAGGEDLY

I am certain that Bishop Bossuet has done all in his power

to show the King the error of his ways.

The King sneers to his face and laughs behind his back.

You must take the matter in hand.

I, Your Majesty?

She has many friends at court. You will speak with them,

encourage them to confess, turn them against her.

-I shall speak with the King.

-And the lady in question?

-She is beyond redemption.

-I shall appeal to her conscience.

-SHE SCOFFS

-She has none.

The power of the Lord is infinite.

You are a beacon of faith and hope for us all, Your Majesty.

As you are mine.

What about the kitchens?

Two musketeers on guard at all times, Sire.

Well, they didn't do a very good job, did they?!

Double them. Triple them. Do whatever it takes.

And from now on, every minister and every member

-of my immediate family must be given a taster.

-Yes, Sire.

What of those social powders?

Now banned, Sire.

Anyone found selling them will be punished appropriately.

As for deliveries,

all those bringing food into the palace must apply for a licence.

All produce must be checked and all workers searched.

Sire, with respect, there are many ways in which the poisons

could be introduced into the palace.

Apart from nobles, clerks, cooks and servants,

there are hundreds of builders entering and leaving every day.

To secure the premises entirely would be impossible.

Anyone wishing harm to me or those close to me

must know that they are no longer setting foot in a palace,

but a fortress.

# I am the king of my own land

# Facing tempests of dust

# I'll fight until the end

# Creatures of my dreams

# Raise up and dance with me

# Now and forever

# I'm your king! #

Monsieur Marchal, we have known each other

a long time and I believe I have earned your trust.

Perhaps.

Then trust me now.

We buy tonics and potions from a supplier

and we sell, in discretion, to the palace.

Sold.

Sold.

But we have nothing to do with poisons,

neither making nor selling.

-You have my word on that.

-What is the name of your supplier?

A spice trader...

by the name Didier Robert.

-And where will I find him?

-China.

He set sail from Marseille a few weeks ago.

If he is gone, you must have chosen another.

No. Not yet.

But as you know, cartloads of produce

from the colonies arrive in Paris every day.

If you think that by stopping us,

you can stop the nobles from poisoning each other,

then you're fooling yourself.

We shall see.

Imagine if you will, Sire, the lake before you

to be an impregnable Dutch rampart

and the hut beyond, their headquarters.

CANNON FIRES

SPLASHING

Not good enough.

Do we have any word from London?

The fleet is ready to sail.

And the grain supplies?

The Church continues to deny access.

Over 200 carts of grain and fodder

are currently being transported from Normandy.

Sire, if I may be so bold...

-..I think I have a solution.

-Indeed?

-The Count of Epernay.

-What of him?

He owns over 40,000 acres of arable land between Calais and Amiens.

And I am sure he has enough grain in storage to feed even as large

-an army as His Majesty's.

-How do I not know about this?

And why is the Count of Epernay not at Versailles?

He claims to be confined to a wheelchair.

In fact, he's as fit as a fiddle and hunts three times a week.

Send some men to the Count of Epernay. Remind him of his duties.

Take his grain and do not pay him.

-You do not like the Duc de Cassel, do you?

-No, Sire.

I wish I were as blind to his vices as I am to his virtues.

He flits between the gambling and the whores, Sire.

-As do many men at court.

-None of them ministers, Sire.

I fear he does not merit the trust His Majesty places in him.

Sire.

Do you know the best way to subdue a wild horse?

The whip, Sire?

Put it to pasture with a tame one.

I'm worried about my wife.

What, her face? I know what you mean.

Perhaps some sort of mask would be in order...

She needs a lady-in-waiting,

someone to explain how things are done round here.

I was thinking of your cousin.

What's her name again?

Mademoiselle de Clermont.

Yes, she would be perfect.

I'll need to talk to her.

You will be here on my return?

No.

I am being fitted for a new overcoat.

HE CLICKS HIS FINGERS

Paid for by me?

Surely you wouldn't have me pay for it?

You forget I'm recently married. Wives cost money.

What about her dowry?

She came with ample lands, but no dowry. I'm leaving.

Wait, wait!

Mignonette...

What use is 10,000 acres of German forest if I...

Mmm.

..need new cuffs?

DOORS OPEN

Yes? What does he want now?

It concerns the, um...

..the bedding ceremony, Your Highness.

The bedding ceremony...?

His Majesty has sent out invitations

to a celebration of your union with the Princess.

This will be followed by the bedding ceremony.

Delicious(!)

DOORS CLOSE

So, you will share the same bed as your wife?

Why wouldn't I?

I think she is rather attractive.

-Oh!

-HE SNORTS

-You're jealous.

-Of a woman?

How we laughed(!)

I shared a bed with Henriette and that never bothered you.

That was to annoy your brother.

The King wishes to build an alliance with the Palatinate.

My duty is to seal that alliance by making lots of children.

Your duty, darling, is not to your brother,

it is to GLAMOUR

and BEAUTY...

and ME!

Who knows, I might even fall in love with her!

DOOR CLOSES

HUM OF CONVERSATION

Mademoiselle de Clermont. I have an honour to bestow upon you.

It relates to my new wife.

She needs some help settling in...

-Mother, we are bankrupt!

-Be quiet!

I suppose the sad fact is, none of us are...truly safe.

But there's no need to panic.

Monsieur Marchal and I will ensure your safety.

-We have no choice but to leave.

-I will not hear of such a thing.

My son's place is here and nowhere else.

Then it is for you to find a way for us to stay.

-I've already tried.

-Try again.

Try harder! Friends.

Connections... I don't know.

Of course, my love.

That post was mine. Not his!

FABIEN SPEAKS NEARBY

..And you tasted all the ingredients

before giving the plate to the servant?

I am a cook, sir.

That is my job.

Everyone is talking about the murder. They're all worried.

Scared to eat their food.

Some of them are even thinking about leaving the palace.

Do as usual.

Go to the gaming tables tonight.

The wine will loosen their tongues.

I shall try, but Monsieur has asked me

to be lady-in-waiting for his new wife.

Very well.

But you will continue to report to me.

It was you that delivered the plate of food to Madame de Reynaud.

Yes, sir.

You collected it from the kitchens

-and you took it directly to her cell?

-Yes, sir.

Why are you so nervous?

-I'm not, sir.

-Yes, you are.

I'm scared, sir.

Of what?

Of you.

-FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

-You should be.

-Yes?

-We searched all her belongings and found nothing, sir.

HE EXHALES

You may go.

His Highness thought perhaps I could help.

"Help"?

To find your feet.

The last time I looked, they were at the end of my legs.

SHE CHUCKLES

You say you served as lady-in-waiting

to my husband's first wife?

Yes, Your Highness.

They say she was beautiful, intelligent, charming, honourable...

She was.

How depressing...

Good morning, Your Highness.

-Cousin.

-Good morning.

I thought I would come to see how you were settling in.

Well enough, thank you.

Has my dear cousin explained all the regulations?

Not yet.

She will explain all the official regulations

and I shall pass by to explain the others.

-"Others"?

-You'll learn to love them.

Whoo! Now that's what we need here!

A touch of Teutonic fashion.

Are you planning to wear this in the salon?

What else would I do with it?

HE SNORTS

Put it in a soup?

Oh, and as for the bedding ceremony,

might I suggest riding boots and an overcoat?

What is a bedding ceremony?

Exquisite, madame.

Hm. Yes.

Madame may also wish to consider this beautiful diamond necklace.

Untamed.

The meaning of "diamond" in Ancient Greek.

I can feel it from here, Bontemps.

Sire?

That frown of disapproval boring into my back.

If Madame de Montespan wants something and I give it to her,

it is not because of her influence.

It is because I wish it to be so.

Of course, Sire.

She will take it.

Delphine?

Madame?

Your services are no longer required.

Have you ever encountered a bear?

No, Your Highness.

Well, I have and it was nothing compared to this.

Don't worry.

It is true some of the women can be a little cold with newcomers,

but once they get to know you,

they will appreciate your honesty and openness.

How do I look?

Wonderful!

-SHE LAUGHS

-Liar!

I know the Church frowns on vanity,

but to refuse a gift from the King,

well, that would be arrogance!

Perhaps I should ask Bishop Bossuet for guidance.

LADIES TITTER

HUM OF CONVERSATION

LAUGHTER AND CHATTER

What do we do now?

We wait, to be invited to play cards

or engage in conversation.

Oh, dear!

Someone seems to have confused a bird's nest for a hat.

ALL TITTER

Who is that woman?

That is Madame de Montespan.

The King's mistress.

She's like a Greek goddess.

His Majesty requests your presence.

Mine?

Please.

(Good luck.)

SHE SIGHS

Come, ladies, we're being mean. We should welcome her.

And be grateful for small mercies. She may be German,

but at least she's not Spanish.

-Good afternoon, Your Highness.

-Good afternoon.

-I am the Marquise de Montespan.

-Of course you are.

The ladies and I are just discussing whether Lady Montfort

should continue her affair with a stable boy.

Personally, I think it depends on the qualities of the stable boy.

We'd love to hear your opinion on the matter.

I warn you, I have no gift for gossip.

It's not a gift. It's a habit.

-You will soon fall into it.

-I have a fear of heights.

SHE LAUGHS

You're both probably wondering why I asked you here.

Whatever the reason, Sire, no doubt, it is a good one.

I asked you here because I wish the two of you to marry.

SHE STIFLES A GASP

Cassel, you have the general demeanour of a sewer rat

with a reputation for licentious behaviour.

-That is not what I like to see in one of my ministers.

-No, Sire.

You need someone to look after you,

put your affairs in order

-and give you an air of respectability.

-Indeed, Sire.

Mademoiselle de Clermont.

Like all young ladies at court,

you, no doubt, dreamt of marrying for both position and for love.

The Duc de Cassel will give you the former,

if not the latter.

-If that is His Majesty's wish...

-It is.

I would like a few moments with Mademoiselle de Clermont alone.

You think of me cruel?

DOOR CLOSES >

-No, Sire.

-I would understand if you did.

Monsieur Marchal informs me

that you have been his eyes and ears in the salon.

From now on, I wish you to perform these same duties

regarding your husband.

If he says or does anything that you consider to be contrary

-to my interests, I wish to be informed of it.

-Yes, Sire.

As for love,

if that is what you seek,

I suggest you seek it elsewhere.

SHE GASPS

SHE STIFLES SOBS

Mademoiselle de Clermont!

Sophie!

-I understand your anger...

-Please!

Please speak to His Majesty on the matter.

This cannot happen. NOT to me.

This is not fair and it's not right.

I cannot marry THAT!

You know what he is capable of. You know!

Remember...

Remember, you're serving His Majesty

and the security of the state.

You should consider that an honour.

An honour...?

(Of course...)

Where the palace stands now used to be marshland and trees.

It will soon be the heart of an empire.

But His Majesty already has an empire.

No. I merely have possessions.

Surely there are many who would stand in your path?

Enemies?

Yes.

There is one.

Do you fear him?

No.

Though I do admire him.

Why?

Because he does not fear me.

Why should he fear His Majesty?

Because the finest army in the world is about to destroy him.

Come. I wish you to meet someone.

An old friend of mine.

-A gardener?

-No ordinary gardener.

If you ever need advice on how to win a war,

he is the person to talk to.

Where is Jacques?

We have not seen him for several days, Sire.

Well, where does he live? Perhaps he is at home, sick.

We checked, Sire. He is not there.

Keep looking and tell him to report to the palace

as soon as you see him.

Sire,

when you were a child,

you dreamt of being a king.

Now you are king, what is your dream?

To be remembered.

You will deliver this into the hands of the cook, Gaspard,

at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Compiegne.

BUSTLE

It's so nice to have a trusted friend by my side.

You already seem to have rather a lot of friends.

Friends in appearance, yes, but appearances can change.

When can I see the child?

First you must meet the King.

What sort of a man is he?

They say he can be cruel.

What else do they say?

That he is warm-hearted, cold-blooded,

amusing, without humour,

gentle, violent,

clever and foolish.

Hm, well, he has many moods and many faces

and I love every single one of them.

< Every king of France has a mistress

< and the Church always turns a blind eye!

< A normal mistress is tolerated. But not this one...

-< We are talking about...

-But, Sire, a married wom...

-Sire?

-TERSELY: What?

May I present my friend and governess to our child,

Madame Scarron.

Welcome to Versailles. If you'll excuse me.

God, it reeks in here!

Would it kill you to open a window?

Where the hell have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere!

You'll have to come here from now on, if you want your bit of fun.

-Why?

-The King has put a stop to our business.

If I'm seen at the palace, I'll be flogged.

Certain friends of mine pay to be flogged.

-Not you, apparently.

-COINS JINGLE

MAN GRUNTS NEARBY

HE PANTS

HE SCREAMS

-FABIEN:

-'"In tight embrace", you say?'

I believe we have our killer, don't you?

Did you search the rooms of Gaston de Foix?

Yes, sir. We found nothing.

Search them again!

-Where did you meet him?

-SHE SNIFFLES

In a corridor outside the kitchens, or upstairs in his rooms?

Was it a powder or liquid he poured onto the food?

-It was not him.

-Do you really suppose

you were the only chambermaid to hoist her skirt up for him?

He promised...!

To marry you?

Yes.

Well, that's not what he told me.

When I mentioned your name,

he laughed and said, "The one who smells of pig shit?"

He met me in the scullery as I was on my way to the prison.

And he added the poison.

-Did you know it was poison?

-No.

That was the right answer.

Another 200.

I'm feeling...lucky.

-Yes!

-HE CHUCKLES

You won.

(Come quietly.)

If this is about my debts, I have every intention of paying.

No doubt.

ALL GASP

CRASHING

GASTON GRUNTS

How dare you?!

Take your hands off me!

SHE GASPS

CHAINS JANGLE

Do you have any idea what you're doing?

Unluckily for you, yes.

Why am I here?

All murderers end up here.

-Murder?

-HE SCOFFS

Whom did I murder?

The minister, Reynaud. And then, his wife.

Before I decide what to do with you,

you're going to tell me where you acquired the poison.

I don't know anything about poison.

Argh!

That's not what your lover said!

"Lover"?

The chambermaid who delivered the meal to the victim

after you poisoned it.

Odile?

HE SCOFFS

LOUIS: Tell me, do you believe in your dreams?

-BONTEMPS:

-No, Sire.

And what of your nightmares?

Sire?

I built these walls to protect myself against threats from outside.

Now, I find that the greater danger lies within them.

No ship ever sailed the ocean without encountering a storm, Sire.

I have sent messages to all the women at court,

inviting them to join us for midnight prayers after the ceremony.

One or two of them have said they will attend.

And Madame de Montespan?

She replied saying she would, alas, be otherwise occupied.

Do you think my looks are fading?

You are more beautiful than ever.

But for how long?

You fear losing him, don't you?

I prefer the green.

Why do you keep taking that stuff?

Medical necessity?

For what?

A tickle in the throat.

The doctor says a few more months

and I shall be singing like a canary.

-You're setting a bad example.

-On the contrary.

I am setting a very good example.

People are bored to death here, and I am showing them how not to be.

The King has banned these substances from court.

Which makes the experience all the more titillating.

What about the blue?

The trouble is,

I like all of them.

Then try something different.

DOOR OPENS

Ready when you are.

Monsieur is more madame than Madame.

COURT MURMURS

The King!

You will make a laughing stock of the court.

I believe I already have that honour.

When they look at me, what do they see?

A woman. One of many.

In case you'd forgotten,

the women in our family tend to outlast the men.

Is something bothering you?

Don't expect me to follow your every rule with a smile on my face.

-Right now, I expect you to be my brother.

-Hmm.

In case you hadn't noticed,

the nobles have started to kill each other.

(That's what happens when you lock them up!)

-Would you like to dance?

-I'd love to.

I will do your bidding.

But I will do it my way.

BAROQUE MUSIC PLAYS

Good evening, Sire.

Your Majesty.

I love your dress. You must give me the name of your designer.

He's called Diego Bartolome Gomez de Recalde.

-Oh. Well, it's lovely.

-So you said.

I fear I have little to contribute to this discussion.

If you will excuse me?

It saddens me to see that I have upset Her Majesty.

I thought we'd found common ground in choosing a wife for Monsieur.

Whatever I've done, please accept my humble apologies.

-For seducing my husband?

-It's hardly my fault your husband

finds my company more stimulating than his wife's.

Is your husband aware of your infidelity?

I have no contact with my husband.

An arrangement I would recommend to all married women.

A shooting star...

Her Majesty's written a poem! How delightful(!)

That's what you remind me of.

Well, at least I will die knowing I have sparkled and shone.

Tell me, who's that charming young girl

engaged in conversation with the King?

-Good evening.

-Good evening.

Perhaps you'd accompany me for the next dance.

I'd love to, but I sprained my ankle a few days ago

-and fear I may damage it further.

-Of course.

Mademoiselle...

May I call you Sophie?

If you insist.

I fear...

you may have an unfortunate impression of me.

I have committed many errors in my life.

Nevertheless, in the years to come,

I hope that you will give me the opportunity

to undo any harm or offence that I may have caused you.

I thank you for your honesty.

Would you care to dance?

I'd love to.

PUNCH THUDS

HE COUGHS

You shitty coward...

HE LAUGHS

HE SPITS

What would you be without your metal bars,

your armed guards,

your instruments of torture?

You would be nothing!

HE GRUNTS

Just tell me who made the poison.

And then what?

Huh?

You'll set me free...?

BLOWS THUD, GASTON GROANS

Who made the poison?

If I wanted to kill someone...

..I would use a gun...

..or a sword.

Only women use poison.

THUDDING

HUSH DESCENDS

-My friends, we are here this evening to celebrate...

-Sire!

It's about my son.

-TEARFULLY:

-I know him to be innocent!

He wants only to serve His Majesty.

He's wrongly accused and wrongly imprisoned.

Your son has brought shame on the court, on you

and on your family.

You have no place here.

But he's innocent! I know it!

I know it!

He's innocent!

He's innocent!

-I know it! >

-MURMURING

My friends...

..we are here this evening

to celebrate the marriage of my dear brother.

It is now midnight.

It is customary at this time

that the couple retire for the bedding ceremony...

..and consummate their union.

Wish me luck.

-Remember...

-SCUFFLING

..it belongs to me.

If you lay a hand on her again,

I will have you castrated. Is that clear?

As crystal.

But I don't think you will.

Why not?

Because I know all about your past.

You haven't forgotten what to do?

-Should I...?

-I'm sorry. I don't think that will work.

Why am I here?

Because your father and my brother

saw a mutual benefit in our marrying.

And if there are no children?

Then my brother is disappointed,

the marriage is annulled

and you will return to Germany.

I was beginning to like you.

The feeling will pass. Goodnight.

-TEARFULLY:

-Goodnight.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

My darling, you are angry.

Only with myself.

I'm jealous and possessive, like a little girl.

I like you to be jealous and possessive.

I've had many lovers...

..but when I see you smile...

..laugh, weep...

THEY CHUCKLE

DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE

Too late for supper.

Unless you like overcooked cabbage.

Actually, I am averse to vegetables, but thank you.

Some wine, perhaps?

I don't usually drink.

And I don't usually let men into my house at this hour.

Those phials you found at the palace.

Essentially, a collection of every potion and powder under the sun.

-But no poisons?

-No.

In any case, they indicate a court more obsessed

with beauty and pleasure than murder.

Unless, of course, I'm missing something.

LIQUID POURS

Such as?

An ingredient I haven't seen before

which makes the poison undetectable.

Are you scared of the female of the species?

The praying mantis does come to mind...

We're complex creatures.

Where you use the sword,

we use our wiles and our potions.

We have the power to create life.

We protect our young.

We...

We can withstand more pain.

What did you say...

-Uh...

-..about women?

I was just teasing!

DOOR CLOSES

It's in the green bottle. >

SLICING, SHE GRUNTS

HE GROANS

SHE PANTS

HE GROANS