Episode 3 Waterloo Road

-You're not disappointed you got me?

-It's fantastic!

Being able to talk to somebody who's actually from China!

You know how important my career is to me.

I got through it for you and for my dad.

Who, by the way, thinks you'll be the youngest head in Scotland.

-Yeah, your dad's been very kind.

-Yes, he has.

If none of that were to happen...

Well, he'd be so disappointed.

Running any type of budget from household bills to a whole school -

tough decisions still have to be made.

Stuff like that they should teach in schools.

Hey, why don't we? Get Year Six into two teams, give them each a budget,

see how they manage it!

-Like The Apprentice?

-Exactly!

Five...

Seven...

48...

49...

-50.

-Hm, I'm impressed.

Yes, it's the Apprentice competition today, got to be top of my game.

I'd wear your flip-flops, that bathroom's disgusting.

Got ginger hairs all over my shower mitt.

-And they're not mine.

-It's not my cleaning week!

Well, the sooner we're married and in our own little love nest...

One step at a time, tiger. We haven't even set a date yet.

Exactly.

Oh, George, did you go out in that robe again today?

Milk won't bring itself in.

Yeah, but you're not wearing any...

Didn't it feel cold?

At least put some trousers on, please!

PHONE BEEPS

George, we're going to be late.

-What are you doing?

-I, my dearest heart,

am printing out materials...

for my sixth-form Mandarin.

But it is your first day as Deputy Head.

Hm, yes, but don't worry...

Christine's a pussy cat and she loves me.

I am, after all, irresistible.

I'll do this, YOU brush your teeth.

George, there are lots of mistakes here.

It's all right, you can correct them on the way in.

Bonjour, Monsieur Lowsley, Sue.

Morning, George.

-Apprentice Day!

-Mm.

Fancy helping out?

-Um...

-I'm missing a Nick to my Lord Sugar.

Now I'm Deputy Head, do you think it's appropriate

that I play the role of your subordinate?

I suppose not.

Important meeting with, eh, Christine.

Must dash.

Hi, Sue, you good?

-Oh, playing second fiddle to all this - great.

-Princess!

Bye.

Can't believe he passed an interview panel.

And why aren't I in this meeting?

Careful!

What do you need a smoke machine for?

Ah. Lock up.

Do you EVER watch where you're going, Miss?

-Darren's not giving you any trouble, is he, Miss Spark?

-Oh.

You know, if you ever need me during the day, I'm never far away.

I always honour a deal, Miss.

Did you make those corrections?

No, not all of them. I told you there were lots of mistakes!

Hm, you should have time before class starts.

-You can finish them off then.

-George, I'm your assistant.

I know, and I'm incredibly grateful.

I'm not the teacher and I shouldn't be doing all your work for you.

I'm simply using your expertise to help me,

-is that so wrong, my lovely?

-Hiya.

-Hi.

You spelt "courtesy" wrong.

-Everyone knows what it means.

-Yeah, well, it looks bad.

Can't all be perfect, you know?

Do we get to choose the teams for The Apprentice then?

Well, make sure you're on mine, I've decided to win.

-Fighting talk!

-That's how it's going to be!

-Is it?

-Where's mine?

-Get your own!

Not with breakfast club monitors watching.

-Well, go without then.

-How long are you going to stay mad at me for?

I hate it when you won't talk to me.

You should've thought about that before you went sucking up to McFall.

-You were going to chuck that cat in the river!

-So? It was hers!

-It was still a cat, Lisa!

-Yeah, and you put it before me.

Eh, I thought you guys had breakfast at the schoolhouse?

Missed it this morning.

Oh, shame. Well, you're not coming in here on the scrounge.

So shift it, come on.

Haven't you got a class to go to?

Kev, look, I fixed it!

Happy?

-Yeah, yeah.

-HE CHUCKLES

-George, the very man.

-Christine, got your message.

On the clock from the crack of dawn now, are we?

We had something come in from the education committee.

You are going to be so chuffed.

Sounds intriguing.

They read my Putting Pupils First plan,

and the Mandarin curriculum has really caught them.

They want to roll it out across the area and they want us...

Well, you, to do it for them.

Great!

Well, that's one in the eye for all the other LA heads.

What a way to kick off your career as Deputy Head!

Could hardly believe it myself.

The council want George for their poster boy.

Yes, uh, is this a good idea?

I mean, um, I don't really see myself as poster-boy material.

No, I agree.

Oh, that's a bit harsh.

I think George needs to think about it. Right, George?

-Mm-hm.

-What's to think about? We grab this!

Chances like this don't often come around!

Is this what you texted me about earlier?

Oh, uh, Princess, can I have a word with George in private please?

Oh, yes, of course.

Is it two sugars?

Uh, not any more.

Um...

Simon and his Apprentice Day.

I can't justify it on my budget.

Ditch it, you're the boss.

I'm probably just being paranoid, but...

feels like one big pitch for my job.

Hm.

Just cos you're paranoid doesn't mean to say you aren't right.

Come on, there's nothing to it, I need a glamorous assistant.

Simon, I'm wondering if I could have a word with you.

-About what?

-It won't take long.

Kind of got a lot on this morning.

Yes, that's what I needed to talk to you about.

Um, Christine has been taking a look at the budget this year

and things are even tighter than we thought.

I can't justify spending money we don't have on a non-essential...

-We're cancelling The Apprentice.

-What? You can't!

-We have to.

-Unfortunately, two to one.

We promised the Student Council.

It's an awkward situation, no-one's denying that,

but sometimes...

You know, leadership means taking tough decisions.

-There has to be a way.

-I wish there was.

-I'll... I'll tell the students.

-No.

-I'll do it.

-Most of them are in the dining hall, I think.

Now I just feel terrible.

What, more terrible than

if his future father-in-law were to offer him your job?

We just need to make sure the Mandarin classes are a success.

BELL RINGS

Ooh, that's registration.

You're fired!

-No, you're fired!

-You're fired!

No, you're fired!

Dynasty!

BOTH: You're fired!

You all right? Looking forward to The Apprentice today, Sir?

I've just come from Ms Mulgrew's office.

-There's been a few budget issues.

-You mean cuts?

There can't be any without the Student Council being consulted.

Yeah, and we're going to be making money for the school today.

That's the whole point.

-I know.

-So, go on then, what are they getting rid of now?

Imogen, take the register for me.

-Sir, where are you going?

-Well, you're fired.

George, what are you going to do about Mandarin classes?

Well, it seems that Christine is hellbent

on me putting together some Mandarin curriculum for the LA

-so I better crack on with it, I guess.

-Well, I don't know if...

-Shh!

I don't know your Mandarin is good enough.

Oh, I'll get by, it won't be a problem.

SHE SPEAKS MANDARIN

Something to do with the classrooms? Say it again?

You are heading for big trouble, George

Nothing we can't handle.

What will you do if Christine finds out?

You know how important these Mandarin classes are to her.

She's put her faith in you, George.

And we won't let her down!

Anyway, let me deal with Christine, we go way back.

Yes, and that is why you shouldn't lie to her.

You're not going to make a habit of this.

We can call it off any time you like.

If you reckon you can handle a classroom all by yourself.

I need my car keys.

Aren't you meant to be in your form room?

Uh, I asked to see him, I won't keep him.

OK.

Where were we?

Wouldn't want Twinkle to find out about our arrangement, would we?

Well, he's not going to find out, is he?

We'll see.

Don't lose any sleep over it though.

Kevin, this came for you after you left.

Open it, then.

Studying in America?

What have you got that for?

Nah, see, they've made a mistake, I ordered something else.

-What?

-A French book?

What would I want with a book about studying in America?

Me mum would do her nut in

if we moved any further than Edinburgh anyway, let alone abroad.

The Yanks wouldn't let a Barry in anyway.

-What's that supposed to mean?

-Nothing, it was a joke.

Well, where's Mr Lowsley then?

We're not meant to be somewhere else for the Apprentice, are we?

First break, in the hall.

Hang on a minute, you're doing it?

Yeah, it's great, innit.

Get to miss double science and PE, just for that.

Well, I'll have a bit of that. BELL RINGS

No, see, it's student council members only,

and people we've specially invited.

Like Rhiannon.

Would you go to America?

Obviously if Dynasty let you?

Never really thought about it.

But it's a big world out there.

You know, there's a lot of places to go and experiences to have.

Well, that's a bit deep for first period.

It would be good if you did though, wouldn't it?

I mean you're right, it is a bigger place, more opportunities?

-Maybe you could make more of yourself out there.

-Hm, maybe.

Dynasty's got you on a leash, that's the only thing.

Um, there are conversation sheets on your desk if you want to...

work your way through them

and Mrs Windsor is here...

to help you if you need it.

SHE SPEAKS MANDARIN

Do you understand?

Perfectly.

-Where is she?

-Languages department.

Right, here you go, that's a few lines.

Now I am sure that I followed the instructions

-on how to sync my e-mails but...

-Give it here.

-I'm expecting word from Moira.

-Ooh, that going all right?

Talk about her a fair bit!

We've actually got quite a bit in common, and more all the time.

Opera, gardening, poetry, cats.

There you go, your e-mail account settings were switched off.

-Should be OK now.

-And there she is! Five e-mails!

Thank you so much, Sonya!

She seems happy about something.

Yeah, she's, uh... She's met someone on the net.

Ooh! That'll do it! Who's the lucky fella?

Moira. Yeah, they're uh, quite good friends by the looks of things.

Moira...

See, last time, you said the word "her" meant "and",

but I read that you can't use that to link verbs. So...?

Well worth checking up.

Why don't you do that for next week?

In fact, answering your own question is often the best way to learn. Oh!

Can I borrow you, please?

Mrs Windsor, can you cover the rest of the period?

SHE SPEAKS MANDARIN

Sorry, my Mandarin's a bit rusty

She says of course she can.

Uh, Mrs Mulgrew.

Who you going to be in today's Apprentice?

Lord Sugar, without a doubt!

Um...

Mr Lowsley not said anything, then?

We can't do it, we just don't have the money.

-Oh, what?

-Did we not get anywhere last week?

You can't do that without talking to us about it!

We don't have a choice, Imogen.

-You lied to us.

-No, it is not like that.

I think I might have solved our problem.

I'll fund The Apprentice competition,

I'll put the seed money up myself.

I'm not sure I can let you do that.

It's my money, you won't have to account for it to anyone.

There's not a shred of doubt in my mind we'll make it

all back with profit.

I think that's a very good idea.

In fact, if you're still looking for a Nick, I'd be happy to oblige.

And as Sir Alan doesn't seem to be doing an awful lot

on the programme these days,

perhaps you'd like to play the part of the woman.

Just call me Karren.

May the best deputy win.

Nice phone, Miss, very cool!

Ooh! Thank you, Lisa!

Oh, Maggie, do you know, living in the schoolhouse

under your care is working wonders for those children.

Well, thank you very much, Audrey, I appreciate that -

even Grantly's warming to them.

-All right, listen, don't forget training tonight.

-I won't.

Oh! And those Nicola Adams videos you sent me?

-They're amazing!

-Yeah?

She seems to be getting on all right.

Yeah, I mean, it's early days, but Kacey's showing real promise.

Well, I've seen the change in her work, you know,

since she took up boxing.

Yeah? Well...

I think it's helping her get over Tom.

It just seems so barbaric - there must be another way, surely.

Works better than a lot of that touchy-feely nonsense.

Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree.

You're just helping Simon to stop Christine

from talking to you about Mandarin.

I'm simply putting my best foot forward

on my first day as Deputy Head.

Speaking of which, can you ask Sonya for that e-mail from the authority?

Whip through it and puts some ideas together for the Mandarin roll-out.

George, Apprentice time.

The idea was you back me up against Simon.

The idea was to keep him close.

Feed him all the rope he needs.

It's not a game.

Picture his eager little face

as his Apprentice Day collapses around his ankles, which it will.

I'll make sure of that.

Are you talking sabotage?

Such an ugly word.

THEME MUSIC FROM THE APPRENTICE

This is not a game.

-This is a competition from hell.

-KIDS ALL LAUGH

From all corners of Greenock...

..the best pupils are gathering to go head-to-head

for the right to be called

the Waterloo Road Apprentice Champion!

Welcome to The Apprentice!

Do whatever it takes.

All right, everyone, listen up!

We are splitting the teams by gender.

Girls over here, boys over there.

-Uh, that's not fair on the fellas.

-That sounds good to me!

-We want it to be a competition, not a walkover.

-Talk is cheap.

Tell me that when we beat you.

Right, each team gets £150.

You have until 3:00 this afternoon

to make as much money as possible.

Minimise your costs, maximise your margins, it couldn't be simpler.

The team that returns the biggest profit, wins.

Right, who are the team captains?

-I'll do it!

-Yep, gents?

Let the fear of failure motivate you, there's nothing quite like it.

Uh, do we get anything when we win?

Yes, you win tickets to a pop concert of your own choice.

You are kidding?!

Yeah, unfortunately he is, the reward will be revealed at the end.

Have you started without me?

-Eh, Student Council members only.

-Yeah, I'm afraid she's right, Barry,

you're going to have to sit this one out.

That said, I am sure Mr Barry has a natural sense of enterprise

which we could utilise.

It would be unsporting to exclude such a talent.

Yeah. Good point. OK, Barry.

And I'm happy to advise the girls, if that's OK?

Yeah, let the games begin!

Ooh! OK everyone...

Um, good news!

I'm taking you all for PE today!

Where's Mr Lowsley?

Uh, he's busy with the Apprentice, as you know.

Have you ever done PE before?

Well, I'm sure you could teach me a few pointers, I used to... Oh!

Sorry, Miss...

Are you OK?

My face!

My nose!

Come on, guys, we've got to come up with something better than this.

I'm not sure we've really cracked this one yet.

Come on, how are we going to wipe the floor with them?

-A sponsored silence?

-Maybe you should led by example, mate.

That is the lamest idea I have ever heard.

Yup?

Oh.

OK, so we offer a service. Laundry, or dry cleaning?

How many dirty kecks do we have to wash to make any money?

Well, why don't we try washing cars AND windows?

It pays nothing.

Sorry, sir, I were in the bogs. Canteen muck is the pits.

Thank you for that colourful mental image, Rhiannon.

She's right though Sir, I'd gladly pay for my lunch

-if there was somewhere nearby.

-That's it! We can do food!

-Yeah!

-Hmm.

-Like what?

-Pizza?

-Why don't we try some kind of food?

-Boring.

Hot food's too much hassle, how would we keep it warm?

I know, uh, cakes?

-Like a bake sale!

-Could you think of anything more girly?

You haven't got one good idea between youse?

-Where do we make them?

-Er, Home Ec?

What are we waiting for?

We can buy the ingredients off her too.

But I reckon we should make a few samples first, you know, to try,

just to see if we're doing it right.

Oi, we're trying to raise money, not your cholesterol.

OK, so what's your idea then?

Yeah, it's so easy knocking everybody else, Barry.

-Well, it is when you're coming out with all this!

-Guys!

The key to success is to work as a team.

Now come on, calm.

Barry Barry's involved?

Your handiwork, I presume?

Consider the fuse lit.

Well, I'm going to go and have a pee.

Let me know if you think of anything.

"Please may I go to the toilet, Mr Lowsley?"

Yes, you may, Kevin.

-Oh!

-Sorry! Sorry!

It's not you, it's just talking.

-It hurts.

-Lift your head a bit further back, is that better?

-Think so.

-I hope you haven't broken it.

Broken it?

-I can't, my wedding!

-No, I'm sure it's just bruised.

Thanks for doing this.

It's no problem.

Lucky I had a free period. I think the bleeding's stopped.

It's all Simon's fault - stupid Apprentice.

He just gets so tunnel-visioned that nothing else matters.

Well, it's not such a bad quality to have.

No, but you just feel so second-best.

I'm probably just moaning about nothing.

Do you ever feel this way with Moira?

-What?

-Your girlfriend.

Moira's not my girlfriend!

Oh, oh, I am sorry!

I just, um...

I just, uh...

Moira is my pen pal.

Here, take this.

You'll be fine.

We could always eat what we don't sell anyway.

I think the cake sale's a brilliant idea.

There's no way the lads are going to win this.

I'm coming round to it.

-Cakes? That's their big idea?

-Yup!

They're really excited about it -

they think it's actually going to win!

-This competition is ours!

-Rhiannon will have eaten most of the profits

before they've even iced the things!

-Guys, that's enough.

-At least they're doing something.

Yeah, to earn themselves some pocket money.

Um...

House clearances.

That is how we win!

Go on.

-Greenock's full of old bids...

-Barry!

Elderly ladies with houses stuffed full of junk

that they just don't know how to get rid of.

So, what do we do?

So we knock on the door, and we tell them

that we can clear out their old sewing machines and teasmades

for about 20 quid, then we flog it.

Minimal start-up costs, and we double our earning power.

That's an impressive bit of leadership thinking, Barry.

What can I say, Sir, some people have just got it.

Well, it's still a theory - there's no money in the coffers yet.

But, let's go with it, yeah? Get a couple of trolleys from the kitchen,

get out there, door-to-door. Come on!

Kev, wait.

We need to make sure that we actually do win this.

How?

By making sure the girls won't.

I thought we might've had a free period, Miss.

Today's Apprentice competition doesn't mean

you can skive Mr Lowsley's classes.

-I'm just saying, it's not fair.

-Well, life seldom is.

Great news about the Mandarin classes,

-George must be very excited!

-Oh, yes! Yes, of course.

Miss M?

Last time I looked, my name was Mrs Mulgrew.

MUSIC: "Sugar, Sugar" by The Candies

# You are my candy girl

# And you got me wanting you

# Honey

# Oh, sugar, sugar... #

So, if it's 50p a cake,

how much profit are we going to make off 250 then?

-£96.

-That's not enough, double it.

Who's going to pay a pound for a cupcake?

She's right. I reckon 60p.

-It's not enough, I'm telling you!

-121.

We'll always get rid of those to students with that price.

Girls, 60p it is.

You need to organise a stall before lunch break starts

to let your customers know there's alternative fare on offer.

Hm? Get going on this!

Get up to IT lab, whip up some posters. Hm?

All hands on deck, come on!

Well, we can't all go, we'll get behind here.

Someone will have to stay.

Many hands, light work, et cetera, et cetera.

The sooner you go, the sooner you get back, hm?

-Don't let the cakes burn.

-I won't.

Come on.

Talk about making it easy.

You think we should do this?

We're not leaving it to chance!

We stop them making their cakes, we win.

George! George!

Christine nearly caught me doing your work!

-Uh, well, did you manage it?

-I guess I made a start.

When's it going to be finished?

George, how many times do I have to say it?

You can't keep doing this!

Hey, hey, maybe we can, like, hide all the cutlery.

No, no, no, no, that would take too long!

Don't be soft!

Erm, right.

There's a fuse box over the other end,

Mrs Budgen's going on about it being dicky.

Oh, yeah, all right.

We should use the other door.

Look, it isn't going to work.

This is dishonest.

Not if it's the two of us working as a team.

Are we working as a team?

When I'm doing everything?

George, will you listen to me?

You ARE a good language teacher,

you can teach French and German very well.

But Mandarin?

You could maybe order at a Chinese restaurant, but that's it!

You have to tell Christine...

and she will understand.

Tell her what exactly?

There's been some misunderstanding? I've been teaching it all term!

-And we just... Just nick them?

-Exactly.

Hey! We might make a Barry out of you yet!

In you go!

What? Me?

You know what to do!

-I'll keep a lookout.

-OK.

GEORGE: Anyway, I'm not going to do what you tell me to do, or anyone else!

George! This is not going to work!

Why can't you see that?

-A little respect wouldn't go amiss either.

-Oh, respect?

Yes, a small word, but an important one.

Well, how can I respect you when you are doing this?

Look, my dearest lovely, I know you're trying to help.

-But trust me on this one.

-Don't patronise me.

Why don't you get yourself home, make us a lovely meal?

Seriously...

you're no help to me here, you're no use. Come on.

Off you go, come on.

Hey!

What's wrong with Mrs Windsor?

Uh, she's not feeling very well, I'll be back in a minute.

Uh, Sir, the ovens have been turned off!

Ah, that's vile!

-It's full of salt!

-Who's been in here?

No idea.

That's what happens when you let our Barry get involved.

Wait, I think I've got an idea. Come on, quick!

All right, lads, let's get busy!

Where've you been?

Uh, yeah, Barry, what happened?!

Getting ready to win! Come on, boys!

Hey...is everything OK?

Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Um...

What are you boys doing?

Oh, we're collecting junk from people's houses

and then flogging it.

-It's our business plan? Barry reckons it's a winner.

-Oh.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Well, if it's junk you're after,

I know someone who has a house full of it.

-Perfect!

-Cool.

Right, lads, I'll see you in town, yeah?

Princess?

Rhiannon! You're making a mess!

Sorry, but we're running out of time!

Where's the bicarb, has anyone seen it?

I don't care if he's my brother, I'm going to kill him.

I don't think Connor would've had anything to do with it.

There is, of course, a perfectly reasonable explanation

to all of this.

We're baking against the clock, Sir, and Maggie said it were all right.

The boys set the fuses out the ovens in Home Ec

and then poured salt into our cake mixture.

Glad to see the competitive spirit is alive and well at Waterloo Road.

-They're sad and pathetic.

-And we are going to slaughter them.

So here it is!

SHE GIGGLES

Oh, wait till you see, he has enough stuff to fill three junk shops.

Hey, this is good clobber, this!

Are you sure Mr Windsor's OK with us taking all this?

Oh, yes, he's been saying for ages he wants it emptied.

It's just, we wouldn't want to take anything that you want to keep.

Oh, no, it's OK.

Sorted, then, let's get cracking!

Well, maybe you could show us. Just in case.

No, it's all right, you can trust us.

If we're not sure, we'll ask.

OK, I'll get you some boxes.

-How much do you want for it all?

-Oh, nothing, Connor, just take it.

Thanks, we really appreciate it.

Oh, it's no problem, you're helping me.

So, is everything good with you?

-If you need more boxes, I have them here.

-OK, Mrs Windsor.

-Is it OK if I get a drink of water?

-Oh, yes, of course.

I suppose junk and stuff just builds up over the years.

Don't realise how much you've got.

Oh, yeah, Mr Windsor is terrible like that.

He never throws away anything.

I've been telling him for ages, we have to get rid of that stuff.

Thanks. No, no, I just wanted to make sure.

Barry's the type of person

-that would clear this house out if you let him.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-An anthology of modern Chinese poetry!

-Oh.

I guess it'll be a few years

before I can wrap my head around any of this.

Well, why don't you take it with you?

-Yeah, I think you'll understand more than you think.

-You sure?

Yeah, it's the best way to learn, Kevin.

I'll bring it back.

No, keep it.

Are you sure?

Thanks.

OK, I reckon...

that's us got everything.

Otherwise we won't be able to carry it back to school.

And I'll have a shifty around.

Like Kev says, don't take anything else.

Oh, not you as well!

Look, get that lot outside, I'll be there in a second.

Viagra?

Georgie Porgie.

You naughty little devil.

PHONE RINGS

So, do you miss your family?

Oh...

Well, we e-mail and Skype, so...

it's not so bad.

A lot of people never go anywhere, or do anything.

You know, they stay with what they've got in life.

I...don't think I want that.

I'm ready to move on...

You know, leave all this behind me.

Well, I'm sure you'd make a great life for yourself.

I mean, you're so smart.

Have you ever thought about doing something completely different?

Something that scares you?

No, not really.

I have.

A lot.

This is for you.

What does it mean?

Maybe one day you can tell...

I think that's us got everything, Kevin.

Hiya!

What's going on?

Simon wants an Apprentice-style boardroom.

He needs it to be exactly like the real thing.

-Well, near enough.

-That's Simon for you.

If a job's worth doing...

I am so sorry about earlier.

Well, Miss Spark, one should try not to jump to conclusions.

About what?

I, er, thought Moira was Audrey's girlfriend.

I thought she was gay.

Oh.

Well, it's...

I've got to... I better...

Yeah, thanks for your help.

Um... Nikki's sort of...

She had a bit of a thing with me sister last year.

Oh, you are kidding me!

It's one thing after another today!

Can't be all bad.

Judging by the size of that engagement ring,

you must be doing something right somewhere.

I'm having to share him with the job at the moment,

and I can't see that changing any time soon.

Oh, maybe you just need to remind him of what he's missing.

Where are all my...?

What have you done?

Hey lads, Sir, check this lot out!

-Where'd you get that lot from?

-Aladdin's cave.

-Ah, that's quite impressive!

-Yeah, Mrs Windsor was very generous.

So you might as well call the girls and tell them not to bother.

This competition's ours!

Let's get these gems to the high street.

Yeah, load them up!

So, you going to tell me what's going on?

It's just junk, George.

Can't you see you're messing everything up?

You're ruining things with your job, with us.

You have nothing without me.

Ha! George, you said I should show you respect.

You don't show me any!

-Well, at least Kevin and the other boys are nice to me.

-He's a creep.

Oh, no...

-The little sh...

-What, George?

You know, you're absolutely right, I don't have any respect for you.

Why would I have anything other than complete contempt

for someone who is so stupid

that they let three hormone-ravaged Neanderthals

run amuck in our home?

-What time is it?

-We're late, and if we don't get these out now,

we won't have time to sell them. We're never going to make enough!

-What are we going to do then?

-Sell each one for a pound.

It's the only way you'll make enough to win.

Well, apparently nobody can afford that.

No, not in the school, but they can in town!

Ah! Thanks, Mr Budgen!

Yeah, right, now scram.

I've got some convalescing to get on with.

-Come on, chop chop! Out!

-Go!

DANCE MUSIC

Hey, want to know the best bit?

Georgie's little helpers!

We can sell them for a mint!

The house was weird.

It was like she didn't even live there, you know?

Like it wasn't her home, just his.

-He obviously didn't love her or...

-What are you doing kissing her?

I didn't know it was going to happen.

I'll tell you what is going to happen.

When Mr Windsor finds out, he's going to kill you!

Let's make sure he doesn't.

Don't tell anyone, Connor! I mean it.

Ah!

-Where are they?

-Where are what?

-My pills, you arrogant little...

-I don't have any of your pills!

I'm going to ask you this one more time.

You can ask me as many times as you want.

I don't have anything.

George?

-Kevin, you all right?

-Did you just batter Kevin?

Ah, out!

Now.

What happened?

I didn't touch him, he just fell.

-Is that right?

-No, I didn't just fall.

He decked him to the floor,

Kevin went, then he was booting him.

Mr Windsor.

You're fired.

The boy was trying to humiliate me.

Did you hit him?

Much as I would've liked to, no - I told you, he fell.

-George.

-He fell!

Or he dived. I wouldn't put it past him.

Give me something to work with!

Are you seriously going to let him get away with this?

He's not the one we're talking about.

You realise how serious this is?

-It's him that you should be dragging in here.

-You don't get it, do you?

He's a teenager.

You're a grown man. You are a teacher and he is a pupil.

That's always been your problem,

you've never taken responsibility for yourself -

you won't even do it now!

Look at the position you've put me in.

I can't believe I'm hearing this.

Are you actually...?

I HAVE to suspend you!

-At least until we get things sorted.

-And what about my side of the story?

I just told you that I didn't touch him.

I mean, do you think I would? All the years you've known me?

Like I say, it'll be investigated, but for now,

I just need you to go home.

Can't tell you how disappointed I am about this.

-Find Kevin.

-Did he actually hit you?

-Did you tell him what happened between you two?

-No.

He lost it when he found out his pills had gone.

But did he actually touch you? I mean, push you or something?

He was going to! And I haven't done anything to him!

That he knows about!

You can't say he did if he didn't, he'll lose his job!

Good!

Look, he treats us like we don't matter, like we're nothing.

And he treats his wife even worse, I've seen them together.

A wife that you kissed!

And that's going to make things better?

He deserves everything that's coming to him.

You think? You know, you sound just like Barry.

Think about what you're doing.

So, we have established that posters like these

were used to drum up support for the war effort.

Who can tell me what this was called?

-Lisa!

-Propaganda?

Exactly, and propaganda is biased...

and therefore, unreliable.

But does that mean it's of no use to us as historians?

No, Miss, it's still useful

because it tells us what the government wanted people to think.

Yes, it does, Lisa, very good.

OK, in your pairs, I would like you

to work through the rest of the sheets,

deciding on the reliability of each source.

(I'm impressed.)

(It seems we've turned a corner, doesn't it?)

Yes, Miss.

Kevin, I'll ask you again.

-What were you arguing about?

-I don't want to say.

Well, I want to know.

What we need to know is whether Mr Windsor hit you.

No.

You're absolutely sure he didn't touch you?

Look, I'm sorry if I made it sound like he did.

But we were arguing and I fell backwards over a chair.

Have you any idea how serious an accusation like this is?

Mr Windsor could've lost his job.

I know, I know. I'm sorry.

Well, I think the best thing we could do right now,

as long as Mr Windsor agrees, is put the whole thing behind us.

No need to spoil what's been a fantastic day.

It's nearly boardroom time, off you go.

Won't be much longer.

Kevin said...

you never touched him.

He fell.

Which is exactly what I told you.

You put yourself in a stupid situation today

and damned near threw your career away because of it,

so I wouldn't sound quite so self-righteous.

Any way you look at it, today's been a car crash.

-Could've gone better.

-You can stop packing now, George.

Oh, yeah.

Simon, on the other hand, hasn't put a foot wrong,

in fact he's had such a good day I'm starting to quite like him.

Am I backing the wrong horse here?

No.

No, absolutely not.

So we can start again tomorrow?

Yeah, of course.

Good.

Because you and the Mandarin initiative could be all I have.

PUPILS ALL TALK AT ONCE

What's this about you and Windsor?

-What?

-Mr Windsor?

Oh, it was nothing.

Oh, yeah, like the missing fuses and salt in the icing?

What? No, no, I never touched the icing.

Come off it, we all know you did. Cheaters! Cheat! Cheat!

GIRLS: Cheat! Cheat! Cheat!

Oi! Oi! All right.

-Mr Lowsley will see you now.

-In you go.

Come on in.

Sit in your two teams, please.

Where's Windsor?

Already been escorted off the premises?

That was a misunderstanding, and it's all been cleared up now.

Afternoon, teams.

ALL: Good afternoon, Lord Lowsley.

Right, before we get to the results, how do you think it went?

We had a setback early on,

and I think we did really well to come back from it.

Good. Gents?

We coined it, Sir.

-That's what it's all about, isn't it?

-Yeah, that and cheating.

-They can't say that!

-All right, settle down.

Right then, the results.

TENSE MUSIC

The girls...returned a profit of £95.60.

Excellent effort.

But the boys, with minimal expenditure have taken it,

with an impressive return of £132.

Boys, you're hired.

And you're fired!

-Only because they cheated.

-At least we can live with ourselves.

-Whatever.

-Tonight there'll be a barbecue at the schoolhouse,

paid for by the start-up budget.

The idea being

that the losers would serve the winners by way of forfeit.

However, we've decided to pick the names at random. Sonya?

Connor...

Barry...and...

Oh, Kevin.

-That's not funny.

-How about that?

I heard a whisper about certain tactics that might've been used

but, to be honest, I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.

Well, we still won.

Yeah, I'm sure it'll still look like that

when you're waiting on us hand and foot!

Hey! Ah, looks like it went well!

You did it, I'm very proud of you.

Well, they did it, didn't you?

KIDS ALL SHOUT

I might've helped them a little bit though, catch you later!

Mr Windsor! Wait.

I wanted to say that I'm sorry.

-You should be.

-Yeah, well, if you weren't such a miserable sod

then maybe people would like you and none of this would've happened.

Maybe your wife would like you too.

-PHONE BEEPS

-Ah!

-Moira!

-Really?

Oh, no!

What?

"I'm sorry to share all my problems with you,

"but I've just had some bad news -

"my husband's had to go in to hospital."

Oh! Poor thing!

Well, you better reply!

PHONE BEEPS

"Sorry, Moira, can I help?"

What are you going to tell her?

Stupid old bint, she's falling for it.

You two going to come to the barbecue?

Schoolhouse kids are very welcome to join.

Yeah, that'd be great, thanks.

Good answer.

Right, come on then, howay, give us a hand with the salad.

BEE BUZZES

LIGHT ROCK MUSIC

Right, serve that lot out and don't drop any.

Boy! Garcon! Over here!

Do you want to eat it? Or wear it?

I don't think the service is very good round here, do you?

Burgers! Anyone want a burger?

I reckon they're naturals, the lot of them, born to serve.

Vocation found at last.

-Well, we look like idiots.

-Yeah.

I just wanted to say thanks for earlier, for the advice.

Glad you got it sorted.

If I could have your attention for a second, please.

Ah, I have to admit, I had one or two doubts about today.

I wasn't sure we could make it work, but thanks to...

Simon Lowsley...

and his quite scary enthusiasm,

determination and faith in you all, it did.

So let's hear it for Mr Lowsley!

The pills, they've gone, they were in me jacket!

Yeah, I gave them to Mr Windsor.

It was out of order what you did, taking them.

I could've got money off them!

What is wrong with you?

-Nothing.

-Just when I think you're learning how to be one of us,

you go and pull something like this?

You will never be a Barry.

Maybe I don't want to.

Hey! I'm starving over here!

You know, who's to say that we can't make house clearances

and recycling an on-going thing?

It's a great way of generating income.

Well, after today, I couldn't argue.

But I hear George might.

Apparently his decanter collection's not what it used to be.

You can shift a whole load of it online, it's easy.

Yeah, it's worth looking into!

It's a yes from me, look into it.

Thought we might open this?

If you wanted?

To celebrate my appointment as Deputy Head?

We haven't done that yet.

I thought you looked gorgeous today at the barbecue.

You were the best there.

-Is everything all right?

-Yeah.

DOOR OPENS

Dynasty, time to get your skates on.

-Party's over.

-OK.

You know that American uni thing you got today?

-No, that wasn't for me.

-Yeah.

Maybe we should think about where we want to go.

It's a big world out there.

Yeah. That's what I was thinking.

We could try Edinburgh.

It's a bit far, but it's meant to be pretty good there.

Yeah, yeah, we should.

I'll see you later.

MUSIC: "Ruler Of My Heart" by Irma Thomas

Well, Miss Spark, this is a pleasant surprise.

I thought you weren't staying over tonight?

I thought you said the flat was too dirty.

Well, maybe I like dirty.

"Kevin...

"Always follow your dreams..."

"Princess."

I can't believe how well that went.

-Me neither.

-No, I meant today.

Seriously, that was great.

Anything you put your mind to, Simon Lowsley, it happens.

What?

So, if I were to put my mind to something happening, say,

the Saturday after the end of term.

Like, getting married for instance.

-You reckon that would happen too?

-Yes!

MUSIC: "Train Song" by Vashti Bunyan

Guys, you've got two free periods

to get Waterloo Junction up and running.

It needs to look as slick as possible, yeah?

Wow, that looks amazing, girls!

Well, at least we can all get to go to the party then.

So, you got a date then, Rhiannon?

Nah.

-You want to leave?

-It's boring!

Do you want to go to the party with me?

Give me your phone.

Call me later, yeah?

You've left him already?

I was going to, but...

No, no, no, you can't change your mind!

He cut up my credit cards!

If she is giving her number out that easy, what else would she give?

-What?

-You're going to ask her for a picture...

then you're going to send it to me.

Please! Please! No!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd