Blwyddyn Newydd Gwlad yr Astra Gwyn

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-# The old wheels are turning

-# The guitar case is locked

-Happy days!

-# From foreign lands I will flee

-# Back, back, back

-# Back, back, back

-

-# All the way back to you

-# Back, back, back

-# The rock pulls

-at the valley and lake

-# And I'm at the waters

-of my Babylon

-# The longing for the blue slate

-lives on inside me

-# The land of the white Astra

-# Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah

-# Bah #

-Shelley?

-Tell Leanne the eagle is landing.

-"Leanne, the knob's here."

-Hiya.

-Your mother's doing my head in.

-Your mother's doing my head in.

-

-You don't have to live with her.

-Yes, I do.

-How was she?

-How was she?

-

-How do you think?

-Fat and annoying?

-Fat and annoying?

-

-Yes.

-And slightly smelly?

-And slightly smelly?

-

-She's honking, Trefor.

-She hasn't been to the toilet

-since Tuesday.

-That's the last time you buy

-cheap turkey rolls for Christmas.

-Did you get the Sat Nav?

-No, I couldn't find it!

-Ha, ha, ha, ha!

-Couldn't find a Sat Nav? Funny!

-Yes, it was meant to be a joke!

-It's in my bag.

-Where do you want to go?

-Where do you want to go?

-

-Estate agent.

-Handy. I was on my way there.

-It's right next to the sex shop.

-No, I won't tell a soul.

-I know what a surprise is.

-Surprise is 'syrpreis' in Welsh

-so Mum's the bird, Belinda.

-"I can't believe you're going on

-this trip around Anglesey, Trefor."

-I promised. Ta-ta.

-"Mam hasn't had a dump for days."

-I know. I'll be back

-just after midnight.

-"There'll be a mess here by then."

-"There'll be a mess here by then."

-

-I've got to go. Customers waiting.

-"Dick."

-Are you free?

-Are you free?

-

-Yes, if you want to go to Anglesey.

-Who'd want to go there?

-Who'd want to go there?

-

-About nine or ten of us.

-A Christmas present for myself.

-Brand spanking new.

-Nice and shiny.

-Can we see it?

-Her, Trefor, her. Later on, yeah?

-You can have a go if you want.

-You can have a go if you want.

-

-No, thanks!

-You don't know what it is.

-You're disgusting, Danny!

-You're disgusting, Danny!

-

-What's up, Leanne?

-She's up the duff.

-She's up the duff.

-

-You look upset.

-Yes. I'll tell you later.

-OK then.

-Who were you phoning?

-Who were you phoning?

-

-I'll tell you later.

-A surprise.

-Everyone on their phones and

-no-one knew who they were phoning.

-Mystery. I like mysteries.

-You knew who you were phoning.

-You knew who you were phoning.

-

-Yes.

-Who?

-Who?

-

-I daren't say. A surprise.

-We shouldn't have secrets.

-A surprise isn't a secret, Leanne.

-If you say so.

-Step on it, Trefor.

-This is nice. 185,000.

-Pricey.

-What am I supposed to do with this?

-What am I supposed to do with this?

-

-Type in Bodedern's postcode.

-What is the postcode?

-What is the postcode?

-

-I don't know.

-We're going to have fun, huh?

-Just had my hair cut

-by those lovely girls in Divas.

-I'm not going all the way

-with you and the gang, Trefor.

-No?

-Where are you going?

-Where are you going?

-

-I'm going to see a man...

-..who lives in Brynsiencyn.

-Has the Sat Nav route been set

-to go through Brynsiencyn?

-I don't know.

-Who's in Brynsiencyn?

-Bob. We're such good friends.

-Not as close as you and I,

-though, Tref.

-We haven't seen one another

-for years.

-Bob and I had so much fun

-before he got fat.

-He wasn't the same after that.

-Everyone calls him

-Fat Bob these days.

-"Make a U-turn where possible."

-Don't listen to her.

-Jealous, Trefor?

-Bob and Alwyn.

-No, he's not, I hope.

-I have some good news for you.

-Oh?

-I'll tell you

-when we're all together later.

-I can't wait.

-I thought I might be early to

-meet Bob so I brought a newspaper.

-Do you want to borrow it, Danny?

-Any tits in it?

-Any tits in it?

-

-No. Not one.

-Stuff it then.

-Bloody hell, I'm angry.

-Why are you angry?

-Why are you angry?

-

-I've just argued with Siegfried.

-You call him Siegfried?

-You call him Siegfried?

-

-Yes - why?

-Don't you have a shorter name

-for him when you have sex?

-Hard to say, "Oh, Siegfried,

-you're so good, so big."

-His name's longer than his todger!

-Why did you argue?

-Siegfried wants a baby but I don't.

-A baby would make

-your life complete.

-Doesn't it, Trefor?

-I don't know yet.

-Don't you want the baby?

-That's not what I meant.

-I just said I don't know yet.

-Everyone wants to win the Lottery

-but it doesn't guarantee happiness.

-I'd spend it on Belgian lager,

-Afghan ganja and Thai brides.

-Trefor, Leanne,

-have you seen my engagement ring?

-No.

-No.

-

-Cool.

-Nice.

-Guess how much it cost.

-I like guessing games.

-500?

-And the rest. 30,000.

-No way.

-Siegfried has the receipt.

-I'd never spend that much on a ring.

-Siegfried's mad.

-What would you spend 30,000 on,

-Trefor?

-Easy - a villa in Spain...

-..a private jet and a moped.

-A blue one.

-What about a house for us?

-And a house for us

-if there was anything left.

-Is that your engagement ring,

-Leanne?

-Yes.

-How much did it cost?

-I was going to buy one

-for 69.99 from the catalogue...

-..but we got that one for nothing.

-You stole it?

-It was my grandmother's.

-It means everything to me.

-It's priceless.

-Cute.

-What's wrong with you?

-I'm laughing about something

-Bob once said.

-We're such good friends.

-Move up.

-Full up, sorry.

-Full up, sorry.

-

-Move!

-Step on it.

-I didn't expect to bump into them.

-Where's the minibus?

-Where's the minibus?

-

-Hold your water, Alex.

-At least Leticia waved, Alex. Cute.

-Her grandmother's not bad. Gilf!

-How is the little one?

-She's started talking.

-She can say Dad.

-You must be proud.

-Yes. She calls Lottie's father Dad!

-Bastard.

-Even though she moans

-and poos and complains...

-..I want her back.

-He doesn't want her.

-I've heard you've settled in school.

-Deputy head of the Welsh department.

-I'd take Leticia back tomorrow

-and change her name.

-I'm ready to take

-some responsibility.

-What's that, Alex?

-What's that, Alex?

-

-Cock books!

-Confiscated them from one of

-the pupils. Perks of the job.

-If Alex doesn't want

-the name Leticia...

-..you could name your baby Leticia.

-..you could name your baby Leticia.

-

-No, thanks.

-Trefor and I will love

-our baby forever.

-Do you know what you're having?

-Do you know what you're having?

-

-Yes, a thick and ugly baby!

-You won't love it if it's ugly.

-It will be hard at first...

-..because they look like potatoes

-when they're born.

-Have you heard from Bryn?

-Have you heard from Bryn?

-

-He's not coming.

-He has something important on.

-What about Lisa?

-She said the same.

-Do you think they're shagging?

-Probably.

-"Turn left in 300yds."

-Is Jim James coming?

-Yes.

-We're going to have fun.

-.

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-HORN

-Bloody hell, Trefor.

-Look where you're going.

-Sorry, Mr James.

-What's he doing driving?

-Does he have a licence?

-Thanks for lending me the minibus.

-The carrying capacity

-is first class.

-Did you shift all that furniture,

-Mr James?

-Eh? Oh, yes, everything.

-Cat died, Mr James?

-I don't have a cat -

-just a Doberman!

-Why did you close the curtains?

-Why did you close the curtains?

-

-To hide the stash.

-If someone snitches,

-I'll know it's one of you.

-Are your sons coming?

-No - late night last night. And

-they have a job to do tonight too.

-What? Where?

-The little man next-door

-is off on his holidays.

-Breaking and entering is my

-sprogs' speciality. Easy pickings!

-When's Bryn's court case?

-End of February.

-I'm getting worried.

-What's it got to do with you?

-I'm there the same day.

-How come?

-How come?

-

-Bryn Boobs dropped me in it.

-He's said I was involved

-to lessen his sentence.

-You're both going down then.

-You're both going down then.

-

-Not now, I'm not in the mood!

-Piss off.

-We're all free tonight.

-Yes, and come to think of it...

-..the little man next-door isn't

-the only one away from home tonight.

-She's a mess!

-She's made an effort, fair play.

-She's worked hard to make herself

-look that ugly.

-Don't be so nasty.

-Dammit, I've forgotten my purse.

-Too right.

-It doesn't matter.

-Someone will lend me some money.

-Do you want to buy one of these?

-It's a Christmas festival.

-You pay a pound

-and choose a footballer...

-..and if you're correct,

-you win a prize.

-What's the choice?

-What's the choice?

-

-Um, George Best...

-..Stanley Matthews...

-Are they all dead?

-Do you want to buy a square or what?

-I can go back for your purse.

-Step on it, Trefor.

-I'd forgotten

-that George Best was dead.

-There we go, he couldn't

-live without a drink, poor dab.

-The tank was full

-when I gave you the van, was it?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-

-Oh.

-I want a tenner from everyone.

-Hey...!

-Apart from Mr James.

-Why doesn't Mr James pay?

-I paid him last week.

-I'm skint.

-Can I pay you again, Trefor?

-Can I pay you again, Trefor?

-

-Me too.

-OK then. Another time.

-Where's your tenner, Tref?

-I didn't think.

-I owe myself a tenner.

-OK then, away we go.

-OK then, away we go.

-

-# Hi-ho, hi-ho... #

-DISCORDANT SINIGNG

-We're going to have so much fun.

-We'll be between Gaerwen

-and Brynsiencyn by then.

-Grow up, Danny.

-What are you doing with that?

-Anglesey girls are minging.

-At least she's pretty.

-Tell him to throw it out.

-Fair play,

-it's just some innocent fun.

-I'd rather give her one than Vera.

-I'd rather give her one than Vera.

-

-Me too!

-You could smuggle her into jail.

-Are you going to jail, Danny?

-My husband, Jock, and I went to

-jail once. Welsh Language Society.

-Which protest?

-I don't remember!

-Did anyone get hold of Jock

-while he was inside?

-No, but Jock got hold of me

-the night we got out!

-He was an animal after a drink!

-Happy days!

-Happy days!

-I haven't seen Bob for ages.

-He'll be so excited.

-Hey, they chose

-Bert Trautmann and Bobby Charlton!

-Are you sure

-you don't want one, Danny?

-Are you coming in for a drink

-and to meet Bob?

-No.

-No.

-

-He's very funny.

-He'll say two jokes for my one.

-How about it?

-No!

-I'm so thirsty.

-Goodbye, Siegfried.

-Goodbye, Siegfried.

-

-What did he want now?

-He was arse licking.

-He was arse licking.

-

-I'll do that since he's not here!

-He wants me to move to London.

-Are you going?

-Are you going?

-

-We'll see.

-Don't let the world pass you by,

-Elen.

-Your name is Elen, isn't it?

-Yes.

-Take every opportunity.

-Listening, Trefor?

-Listening, Trefor?

-

-Yes.

-The bus isn't going to London today.

-I know that, you nerd.

-Don't call him names.

-It's OK, Leanne. I'm used to it.

-What does Alwyn like, Trefor?

-Chess, folk dancing...

-Chips.

-Chips.

-

-Small ones.

-That's not what I meant.

-Is he a paedophile or something?

-Alwyn's completely normal.

-I have my suspicions about him.

-I have my suspicions about him.

-

-He didn't touch me in Blackpool.

-You're too old!

-There's something

-rather strange about him...

-..but he's a likable guy too.

-He used to be with that Belinda.

-Belinda liked him

-but he didn't like her.

-Anyone else would have

-given her one. An open goal!

-He might actually be gay!

-Ooh, Betty.

-He looks at you lustfully.

-He should have had a threesome

-with Fat Bob and Belinda.

-There's be no room in bed

-with Fat Bob.

-You don't have to have sex

-in bed every time.

-Really?

-I said so, didn't I?

-Where have you been?

-Where have you been?

-

-To see my brief.

-Who?

-Who?

-

-His solicitor. He's showing off.

-You were supposed to be there.

-You're in the shite now.

-Right, lads,

-the real drinker's arrived.

-Away!

-I love Leticia.

-Tell Lottie how you feel.

-Thanks for the advice.

-You don't mind me pissing

-while I'm talking to you?

-Nice food?

-Nice food?

-

-It was OK.

-I'm glad you're happy.

-What's that?

-What's that?

-

-A picture of dogs playing pool.

-I nicked it.

-Why?

-Did you eat, Vera?

-Did you eat, Vera?

-

-No, I wasn't hungry.

-And if I were starving,

-I couldn't have paid for it.

-What about the football money?

-That's money for the charity.

-RSP-something.

-You have plenty of money

-to buy booze.

-Trefor lent me some money.

-I would have paid for your food too.

-Do you have any money?

-We can't let her starve.

-What are we meant to do

-while she stuffs her face?

-Another pint?

-I fancy the scampi.

-It looked really nice.

-She'll stink even more of fish then!

-"Trefor? Go and fetch Alwyn

-from Brynsiencyn."

-On my way.

-What's the surprise?

-What's the surprise?

-

-It won't be a surprise if I say.

-I don't like surprises.

-I don't know what happened to Bob.

-He didn't reply to my calls

-or texts.

-Strange.

-We were great friends.

-He might be ill.

-Bob's never ill.

-His phone might not be working.

-He could have come down to tell you.

-Bob moves in mysterious ways.

-Because he's fat, is it?

-.

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-What did you want to say earlier?

-What did you want to say earlier?

-

-Not now, Trefor.

-I have something to say,

-if you're interested.

-I was going to wait

-until everyone was here...

-..but do you want to hear it?

-Yes, please.

-Yes, please.

-

-Well...

-..Nacw's boyfriend has found

-a new girlfriend and left Nacw.

-And she's asked

-if I'll take her back.

-I've forgiven her.

-I knew things weren't right there

-right from the start.

-Who's Nacw's boyfriend's

-new girlfriend?

-A man!

-Each to his own...

-..but I never saw the attraction

-of a man with another man.

-Apologise to Alwyn, Leanne.

-What for?

-She thought you were gay.

-Where the hell have you been?

-To pick Alwyn up.

-Did you have to?

-How was Fat Bob?

-He'd turned into Invisible Bob.

-Let's all go to Amlwch.

-It's not far, is it?

-Look at my balls!

-Stunning!

-I nicked them. Do you want them?

-They're heavy too.

-Where are Lisa and Elen?

-Where are Lisa and Elen?

-

-Having a piss.

-Leanne, are your tits

-as firm as these?

-Don't be so disgusting!

-Do you want to walk to Amlwch,

-Danny?

-Thanks, Trefor.

-Standing up for me finally.

-Does anyone want to buy

-two pool balls?

-I don't want to go to Amlwch.

-I don't want to go to Amlwch.

-

-Why not?

-I'm on Pub Watch there.

-Take your rug off

-and no-one will recognise you!

-Fu**in' hell! Bastard shit.

-Fu**in' hell!

-What's wrong?

-What's wrong?

-

-I've broken my leg.

-It hurts so much.

-It hurts so much.

-

-Phone for an ambulance.

-Is it 999 on Anglesey too?

-Why didn't you go with Lisa?

-I'm not a doctor, am I?

-And anyway, she said she didn't want

-me there. And she's the boss.

-I don't want to spoil the sesh

-for everyone else.

-The ambulance boys bought

-Denis Law and Barry John!

-He wasn't a footballer.

-Stop the bus. I want a wee.

-Me too.

-Me too.

-

-And me.

-Let's see who can piss the furthest.

-Or highest!

-Or highest!

-

-Or longest!

-Hurry up, lads.

-It's a new year - we're all friends.

-It's going from bad to worse.

-I've never peed in public before...

-..but I can't hold on any longer.

-Anyone else want to go?

-Has Jim finished?

-Yes.

-I'm fine. I seldom go.

-Dehydration according to the doctor.

-You don't drink enough.

-Away we go, Trefor.

-Alwyn's not back.

-Away we go, Trefor.

-Have you seen the size of Alwyn's?

-No. I was too busy pissing on Danny.

-What's wrong with it?

-Nothing.

-It just made me feel inferior.

-Was it big?

-Like an elephant's trunk.

-Were you talking about me?

-Yes.

-I thought as much.

-Wahey! The Amlwch girls are going

-to have it in the Adelphi!

-Every orifice.

-Those smell nice.

-I'm starving.

-Eating for two.

-What will he call the baby?

-I haven't though a lot about it.

-Isn't it unlucky?

-I don't believe in that.

-I've thought of many names.

-Such as? Both of us will have to

-agree on a name.

-Of course.

-Fire away then.

-Dylan.

-No.

-Why not?

-Reminds me of someone from school.

-He had freckles spots and glasses

-like the Milky Bar Kid.

-Dewi.

-No, again from school. Dewi 'Drewi'.

-Body odour.

-No, BO.

-Ann.

-In tech with me. 'Annifyr'.

-Sion.

-I don't mind that.

-Seven out of ten.

-Sian.

-Pity we're not having twins.

-Since we don't know

-the baby's sex...

-..let's think of a name

-like Eryl or Ceri...

-..a bisexual name.

-Unisex you mean.

-Yes.

-Yes.

-

-Mm, yeah.

-"I've put Mam in the stairlift.

-We have lift-off."

-Has she had a poo?

-Has she had a poo?

-

-"She's almost there, I'd say."

-Good news.

-Anwen, after your mother.

-I don't mind that.

-She won't be with us much longer.

-How about your mother's name?

-How about your mother's name?

-

-Anwen Rosemary.

-Hold on, I've got it.

-Anwen Bryn Fon Rosemary.

-Class.

-What are you doing, you pig?

-You're disgusting.

-You're disgusting.

-

-Chill out, Leanne.

-Which hole have you used?

-Which hole have you used?

-

-The right one. I'm old-fashioned!

-I'll take the other hole,

-I don't want to catch anything.

-"At the roundabout,

-take the second exit."

-Second exit - good idea.

-You'll be like that in jail!

-Oy!

-Sit there. You, sit there.

-They're not right, Trefor.

-Screw loose!

-Benllech's so rough these days.

-Move up.

-I'm eating too much.

-You need the energy.

-You need the energy.

-

-I'm sure I can feel it kicking.

-Do you want to feel it?

-OK then.

-Can you feel anything?

-Can you feel anything?

-

-Six chips and a sausage!

-Hello, can you hear me?

-Let's go to Beaumaris - just us two.

-They'll be here for hours.

-I've never been to Beaumaris before.

-Yes, you have.

-On one of our first dates.

-We had sausages

-on a portable barbecue with rolls.

-I sat in sheep poo.

-I sat in sheep poo.

-

-And it rained.

-I was scared of making

-the first move.

-I was soaking.

-Were you?

-Come on, Beaumaris. And don't be

-scared of making the first move.

-I'm shy, Leanne.

-Trefor, when you see something

-you like, you have to go for it.

-Show your balls sometimes.

-That's illegal in a public place.

-That's not what I meant.

-Come on, Beaumaris.

-Away we go.

-Onwards and upwards.

-Love you, Leanne.

-I thought you were going to be ages.

-We got kicked out because Vera

-tried to steal a dartboard.

-I tried to explain that I don't

-know what I'm doing half the time.

-Come on, Trefor, let's go.

-I did steal a set of darts

-with Jocky Wilson's face on them.

-He's dead too.

-Poor dab.

-There was something sexy about him.

-Especially when he was sweating.

-Common!

-They won't miss one of their optics.

-Shit, it's strong.

-Have you phoned Lisa?

-No.

-Right, how many of you

-lent me money?

-Me.

-How much?

-40.

-40.

-

-Oh, dear.

-I only have my charity money.

-The little children of Taiwan.

-Poor dabs.

-Trefor?

-Would you lend me 40, my love?

-Of course. Leanne.

-Thanks, Trefor. I won't forget this.

-Heaven awaits you.

-I still can't believe the size

-of Alwyn's whopper.

-.

-Subtitles

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-

-Subtitles

-Listen, Lottie,

-I'm only going to say this once.

-I want Leticia.

-I'll say it again. I want Leticia.

-I'm her father, I own half of her.

-I don't know which half.

-You and Raymond have the twins

-so it's only fair.

-You'll still have two and a half

-children and I'll have half.

-I don't care

-even if you don't like it.

-You can choose which half.

-Goodbye.

-You'll be hearing from by solicitor.

-Piss off yourself.

-Hey, that went well.

-I think she knows

-where she stands now.

-You'll never believe this.

-What?

-Siegfried's set a date

-for the wedding.

-Congratulations. When?

-The end of March.

-Are you pregnant?

-Are you pregnant?

-

-No!

-And I'm not marrying him anyways.

-Why not?

-He's making decisions

-without discussing them with me.

-And I've made

-a New Year's resolution.

-Nobody's telling me what to do.

-Leanne, have you made

-a New Year's resolution?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-

-Does it involve me?

-No. My resolution

-is not making any resolutions.

-I never keep them.

-What's your New Year's resolution?

-What's your New Year's resolution?

-

-I haven't made one.

-Save money to buy a house.

-Oh, yes.

-I'd forgotten about that.

-Sebastian Coe is the only footballer

-I have left.

-Cider, Vera?

-What are you doing?

-I had lovely chips

-in Llangefni once.

-But there was a long queue.

-19... 78, I think it was.

-July.

-The fish was lovely...

-..although the batter

-was a little too crispy.

-The mushy peas were slightly watery,

-if you catch my drift.

-Alwyn, does my finger smell fishy?

-No.

-That's the only problem

-with these dollies.

-You don't get the authentic smell.

-# Ting-a-ling-a-ling,

-ting-a-ling-a-ling

-# Santa Claus' balls

-# Ting-a-ling-a-ling,

-ting-a-ling-a-ling... #

-"She still hasn't gone."

-Give her a tin of mushy peas

-to see what happens.

-# Ting-a-ling-a-ling... #

-Jim James must have a huge bladder!

-Who's Elen snogging?

-The barman. Stolen him from the pub.

-Lucky bitch.

-I have a present for you, you prick.

-I can't read that, I'm shit-faced.

-What does it say?

-Case dropped - lack of evidence!

-I was only pulling your leg.

-We're off the hook!

-Happy New Year!

-Happy New Year!

-It's an hour away.

-Hey, has Davina

-enjoyed herself, Danny?

-I don't know.

-She hasn't said a word all day.

-Old Davina's quite shy.

-Hey, we have to organise

-more of these trips.

-Once a year.

-Every New Year's Eve or something.

-Why?

-I like your company.

-Really?

-Really?

-

-Yes.

-Why? We only abuse you.

-I know you don't really mean it.

-We do though.

-It doesn't matter.

-I'm still enjoying myself.

-You need someone sensible

-in your midst.

-Hairy whore!

-What's the surprise?

-What's the surprise?

-

-Almost there.

-What did you want to say earlier?

-What did you want to say earlier?

-

-"Trefor, Mam's been."

-Been where?

-"She's had a dump, you knob.

-It's massive, like a submarine."

-You thought she'd gone

-to a better place.

-There's no place like home.

-Everyone happy?

-Everyone happy?

-

-Leave them.

-What I wanted to say was...

-Mam's left her husband.

-The second one?

-And she's going for a third.

-No, but she doesn't want to stay

-in Aberystwyth on her own.

-What does she want to do?

-What does she want to do?

-

-She wants to live with us.

-Is she pretty?

-I don't know.

-Are you happy with that?

-With what?

-Mam wants to live with us.

-Me, you, Anwen Rosemary,

-Anwen, Rosemary and Shelley?

-OK then.

-We'll have more babysitters.

-We need our own place eventually -

-understand?

-Loud and clear.

-What's the surprise? I hope it's

-a good one after all the build-up.

-"You've reached your destination."

-Destination surprise.

-Everyone's sleeping.

-They'll wake up.

-FIREWORK SOUNDS

-This is the surprise

-Belinda and I organised for you.

-Fire away, Belinda.

-What are you doing here?

-What are you doing here?

-

-He texted me.

-Are you OK? Does it hurt?

-Are you OK? Does it hurt?

-

-I have broken it, knobhead.

-Which one?

-Happy New Year, everyone.

-Happy New Year.

-To the new year.

-2014!

-To Anwen Rosemary.

-Who the f**k?

-Who the f**k?

-

-To me!

-To Nacw.

-To Siegfried.

-To Siegfried.

-

-Sod him - to freedom!

-To Davina.

-To Danny and me.

-Here's the invoice

-for the fireworks.

-I'm giving the money to a good

-cause - promoting cruelty to women.

-I don't believe in cruelty to women.

-You'll have to think

-of something else.

-Pricey.

-They're the real deal.

-Health and safety never sleep,

-Trefor.

-Trefor, you won

-the football competition.

-I didn't try.

-I know! To me!

-To Vera!

-All the best, Vera.

-I hope you survive another year.

-I'm going to try my best.

-I wouldn't like to lose you.

-To us.

-To us!

-And Belinda.

-And Belinda.

-Thanks for the surprise.

-Anyone want a Welsh cake.

-I roasted them.

-What are you on about?

-What are you on about?

-

-Anyone want one?

-I need the toilet. Move, Vera.

-You've pissed enough,

-it's time you had a cack.

-Shut it!

-Sorry about today.

-For what?

-I've been a real bitch.

-I've been a real bitch.

-

-I didn't notice.

-I'm worried about Mam and the baby.

-I'm worried about you.

-I worry about me sometimes.

-Why are you worried?

-You're so soft.

-You let everyone walk over you

-and shout abuse at you.

-I'm quite innocent at heart.

-I've noticed today, more than ever,

-that this is the way you are.

-You're the nicest man I've ever met.

-This gang is together

-because of you.

-Don't change, Trefor.

-I love you as you are.

-Thank you. Happy New Year, Leanne.

-And many more together.

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

-.