Blwyddyn Newydd Gwlad yr Astra Gwyn


Blwyddyn Newydd

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Transcript


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-# The old wheels are turning

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-# The guitar case is locked

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-Happy days!

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-# From foreign lands I will flee

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-# Back, back, back

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-# Back, back, back

-

-# All the way back to you

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-# Back, back, back

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-# The rock pulls

-at the valley and lake

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-# And I'm at the waters

-of my Babylon

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-# The longing for the blue slate

-lives on inside me

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-# The land of the white Astra

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-# Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah

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-# Bah #

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-Shelley?

-Tell Leanne the eagle is landing.

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-"Leanne, the knob's here."

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-Hiya.

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-Your mother's doing my head in.

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-Your mother's doing my head in.

-

-You don't have to live with her.

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-Yes, I do.

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-How was she?

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-How was she?

-

-How do you think?

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-Fat and annoying?

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-Fat and annoying?

-

-Yes.

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-And slightly smelly?

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-And slightly smelly?

-

-She's honking, Trefor.

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-She hasn't been to the toilet

-since Tuesday.

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-That's the last time you buy

-cheap turkey rolls for Christmas.

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-Did you get the Sat Nav?

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-No, I couldn't find it!

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-Ha, ha, ha, ha!

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-Couldn't find a Sat Nav? Funny!

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-Yes, it was meant to be a joke!

-It's in my bag.

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-Where do you want to go?

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-Where do you want to go?

-

-Estate agent.

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-Handy. I was on my way there.

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-It's right next to the sex shop.

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-No, I won't tell a soul.

-I know what a surprise is.

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-Surprise is 'syrpreis' in Welsh

-so Mum's the bird, Belinda.

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-"I can't believe you're going on

-this trip around Anglesey, Trefor."

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-I promised. Ta-ta.

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-"Mam hasn't had a dump for days."

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-I know. I'll be back

-just after midnight.

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-"There'll be a mess here by then."

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-"There'll be a mess here by then."

-

-I've got to go. Customers waiting.

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-"Dick."

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-Are you free?

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-Are you free?

-

-Yes, if you want to go to Anglesey.

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-Who'd want to go there?

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-Who'd want to go there?

-

-About nine or ten of us.

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-A Christmas present for myself.

-Brand spanking new.

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-Nice and shiny.

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-Can we see it?

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-Her, Trefor, her. Later on, yeah?

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-You can have a go if you want.

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-You can have a go if you want.

-

-No, thanks!

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-You don't know what it is.

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-You're disgusting, Danny!

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-You're disgusting, Danny!

-

-What's up, Leanne?

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-She's up the duff.

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-She's up the duff.

-

-You look upset.

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-Yes. I'll tell you later.

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-OK then.

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-Who were you phoning?

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-Who were you phoning?

-

-I'll tell you later.

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-A surprise.

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-Everyone on their phones and

-no-one knew who they were phoning.

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-Mystery. I like mysteries.

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-You knew who you were phoning.

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-You knew who you were phoning.

-

-Yes.

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-Who?

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-Who?

-

-I daren't say. A surprise.

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-We shouldn't have secrets.

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-A surprise isn't a secret, Leanne.

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-If you say so.

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-Step on it, Trefor.

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-This is nice. 185,000.

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-Pricey.

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-What am I supposed to do with this?

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-What am I supposed to do with this?

-

-Type in Bodedern's postcode.

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-What is the postcode?

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-What is the postcode?

-

-I don't know.

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-We're going to have fun, huh?

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-Just had my hair cut

-by those lovely girls in Divas.

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-I'm not going all the way

-with you and the gang, Trefor.

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-No?

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-Where are you going?

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-Where are you going?

-

-I'm going to see a man...

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-..who lives in Brynsiencyn.

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-Has the Sat Nav route been set

-to go through Brynsiencyn?

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-I don't know.

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-Who's in Brynsiencyn?

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-Bob. We're such good friends.

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-Not as close as you and I,

-though, Tref.

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-We haven't seen one another

-for years.

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-Bob and I had so much fun

-before he got fat.

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-He wasn't the same after that.

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-Everyone calls him

-Fat Bob these days.

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-"Make a U-turn where possible."

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-Don't listen to her.

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-Jealous, Trefor?

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-Bob and Alwyn.

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-No, he's not, I hope.

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-I have some good news for you.

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-Oh?

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-I'll tell you

-when we're all together later.

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-I can't wait.

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-I thought I might be early to

-meet Bob so I brought a newspaper.

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-Do you want to borrow it, Danny?

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-Any tits in it?

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-Any tits in it?

-

-No. Not one.

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-Stuff it then.

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-Bloody hell, I'm angry.

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-Why are you angry?

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-Why are you angry?

-

-I've just argued with Siegfried.

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-You call him Siegfried?

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-You call him Siegfried?

-

-Yes - why?

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-Don't you have a shorter name

-for him when you have sex?

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-Hard to say, "Oh, Siegfried,

-you're so good, so big."

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-His name's longer than his todger!

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-Why did you argue?

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-Siegfried wants a baby but I don't.

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-A baby would make

-your life complete.

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-Doesn't it, Trefor?

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-I don't know yet.

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-Don't you want the baby?

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-That's not what I meant.

-I just said I don't know yet.

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-Everyone wants to win the Lottery

-but it doesn't guarantee happiness.

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-I'd spend it on Belgian lager,

-Afghan ganja and Thai brides.

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-Trefor, Leanne,

-have you seen my engagement ring?

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-No.

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-No.

-

-Cool.

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-Nice.

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-Guess how much it cost.

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-I like guessing games.

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-500?

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-And the rest. 30,000.

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-No way.

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-Siegfried has the receipt.

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-I'd never spend that much on a ring.

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-Siegfried's mad.

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-What would you spend 30,000 on,

-Trefor?

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-Easy - a villa in Spain...

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-..a private jet and a moped.

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-A blue one.

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-What about a house for us?

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-And a house for us

-if there was anything left.

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-Is that your engagement ring,

-Leanne?

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-Yes.

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-How much did it cost?

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-I was going to buy one

-for 69.99 from the catalogue...

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-..but we got that one for nothing.

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-You stole it?

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-It was my grandmother's.

-It means everything to me.

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-It's priceless.

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-Cute.

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-What's wrong with you?

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-I'm laughing about something

-Bob once said.

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-We're such good friends.

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-Move up.

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-Full up, sorry.

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-Full up, sorry.

-

-Move!

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-Step on it.

-I didn't expect to bump into them.

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-Where's the minibus?

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-Where's the minibus?

-

-Hold your water, Alex.

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-At least Leticia waved, Alex. Cute.

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-Her grandmother's not bad. Gilf!

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-How is the little one?

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-She's started talking.

-She can say Dad.

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-You must be proud.

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-Yes. She calls Lottie's father Dad!

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-Bastard.

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-Even though she moans

-and poos and complains...

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-..I want her back.

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-He doesn't want her.

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-I've heard you've settled in school.

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-Deputy head of the Welsh department.

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-I'd take Leticia back tomorrow

-and change her name.

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-I'm ready to take

-some responsibility.

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-What's that, Alex?

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-What's that, Alex?

-

-Cock books!

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-Confiscated them from one of

-the pupils. Perks of the job.

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-If Alex doesn't want

-the name Leticia...

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-..you could name your baby Leticia.

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-..you could name your baby Leticia.

-

-No, thanks.

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-Trefor and I will love

-our baby forever.

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-Do you know what you're having?

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-Do you know what you're having?

-

-Yes, a thick and ugly baby!

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-You won't love it if it's ugly.

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-It will be hard at first...

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-..because they look like potatoes

-when they're born.

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-Have you heard from Bryn?

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-Have you heard from Bryn?

-

-He's not coming.

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-He has something important on.

-What about Lisa?

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-She said the same.

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-Do you think they're shagging?

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-Probably.

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-"Turn left in 300yds."

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-Is Jim James coming?

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-Yes.

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-We're going to have fun.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-HORN

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-Bloody hell, Trefor.

-Look where you're going.

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-Sorry, Mr James.

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-What's he doing driving?

-Does he have a licence?

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-Thanks for lending me the minibus.

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-The carrying capacity

-is first class.

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-Did you shift all that furniture,

-Mr James?

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-Eh? Oh, yes, everything.

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-Cat died, Mr James?

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-I don't have a cat -

-just a Doberman!

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-Why did you close the curtains?

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-Why did you close the curtains?

-

-To hide the stash.

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-If someone snitches,

-I'll know it's one of you.

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-Are your sons coming?

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-No - late night last night. And

-they have a job to do tonight too.

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-What? Where?

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-The little man next-door

-is off on his holidays.

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-Breaking and entering is my

-sprogs' speciality. Easy pickings!

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-When's Bryn's court case?

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-End of February.

-I'm getting worried.

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-What's it got to do with you?

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-I'm there the same day.

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-How come?

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-How come?

-

-Bryn Boobs dropped me in it.

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-He's said I was involved

-to lessen his sentence.

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-You're both going down then.

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-You're both going down then.

-

-Not now, I'm not in the mood!

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-Piss off.

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-We're all free tonight.

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-Yes, and come to think of it...

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-..the little man next-door isn't

-the only one away from home tonight.

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-She's a mess!

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-She's made an effort, fair play.

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-She's worked hard to make herself

-look that ugly.

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-Don't be so nasty.

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-Dammit, I've forgotten my purse.

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-Too right.

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-It doesn't matter.

-Someone will lend me some money.

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-Do you want to buy one of these?

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-It's a Christmas festival.

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-You pay a pound

-and choose a footballer...

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-..and if you're correct,

-you win a prize.

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-What's the choice?

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-What's the choice?

-

-Um, George Best...

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-..Stanley Matthews...

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-Are they all dead?

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-Do you want to buy a square or what?

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-I can go back for your purse.

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-Step on it, Trefor.

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-I'd forgotten

-that George Best was dead.

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-There we go, he couldn't

-live without a drink, poor dab.

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-The tank was full

-when I gave you the van, was it?

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-Yes.

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-Yes.

-

-Oh.

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-I want a tenner from everyone.

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-Hey...!

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-Apart from Mr James.

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-Why doesn't Mr James pay?

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-I paid him last week.

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-I'm skint.

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-Can I pay you again, Trefor?

0:14:480:14:50

-Can I pay you again, Trefor?

-

-Me too.

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-OK then. Another time.

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-Where's your tenner, Tref?

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-I didn't think.

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-I owe myself a tenner.

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-OK then, away we go.

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-OK then, away we go.

-

-# Hi-ho, hi-ho... #

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-DISCORDANT SINIGNG

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-We're going to have so much fun.

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-We'll be between Gaerwen

-and Brynsiencyn by then.

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-Grow up, Danny.

-What are you doing with that?

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-Anglesey girls are minging.

-At least she's pretty.

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-Tell him to throw it out.

0:15:380:15:40

-Fair play,

-it's just some innocent fun.

0:15:400:15:43

-I'd rather give her one than Vera.

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-I'd rather give her one than Vera.

-

-Me too!

0:15:460:15:47

-You could smuggle her into jail.

0:15:480:15:50

-Are you going to jail, Danny?

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-My husband, Jock, and I went to

-jail once. Welsh Language Society.

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-Which protest?

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-I don't remember!

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-Did anyone get hold of Jock

-while he was inside?

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-No, but Jock got hold of me

-the night we got out!

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-He was an animal after a drink!

-Happy days!

0:16:150:16:20

-Happy days!

0:16:200:16:21

-I haven't seen Bob for ages.

0:16:300:16:33

-He'll be so excited.

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-Hey, they chose

-Bert Trautmann and Bobby Charlton!

0:16:360:16:41

-Are you sure

-you don't want one, Danny?

0:16:420:16:44

-Are you coming in for a drink

-and to meet Bob?

0:16:450:16:49

-No.

0:16:500:16:51

-No.

-

-He's very funny.

0:16:510:16:52

-He'll say two jokes for my one.

-How about it?

0:16:530:16:56

-No!

0:16:560:16:58

-I'm so thirsty.

0:17:030:17:04

-Goodbye, Siegfried.

0:17:080:17:10

-Goodbye, Siegfried.

-

-What did he want now?

0:17:100:17:12

-He was arse licking.

0:17:120:17:14

-He was arse licking.

-

-I'll do that since he's not here!

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-He wants me to move to London.

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-Are you going?

0:17:210:17:22

-Are you going?

-

-We'll see.

0:17:220:17:24

-Don't let the world pass you by,

-Elen.

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-Your name is Elen, isn't it?

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-Yes.

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-Take every opportunity.

0:17:300:17:32

-Listening, Trefor?

0:17:340:17:36

-Listening, Trefor?

-

-Yes.

0:17:360:17:37

-The bus isn't going to London today.

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-I know that, you nerd.

0:17:410:17:43

-Don't call him names.

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-It's OK, Leanne. I'm used to it.

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-What does Alwyn like, Trefor?

0:17:590:18:02

-Chess, folk dancing...

0:18:020:18:06

-Chips.

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-Chips.

-

-Small ones.

0:18:070:18:09

-That's not what I meant.

0:18:090:18:11

-Is he a paedophile or something?

0:18:120:18:15

-Alwyn's completely normal.

0:18:160:18:19

-I have my suspicions about him.

0:18:200:18:22

-I have my suspicions about him.

-

-He didn't touch me in Blackpool.

0:18:220:18:24

-You're too old!

0:18:250:18:26

-There's something

-rather strange about him...

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-..but he's a likable guy too.

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-He used to be with that Belinda.

0:18:340:18:36

-Belinda liked him

-but he didn't like her.

0:18:360:18:40

-Anyone else would have

-given her one. An open goal!

0:18:410:18:45

-He might actually be gay!

-Ooh, Betty.

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-He looks at you lustfully.

0:18:510:18:53

-He should have had a threesome

-with Fat Bob and Belinda.

0:18:530:18:57

-There's be no room in bed

-with Fat Bob.

0:18:570:18:59

-You don't have to have sex

-in bed every time.

0:18:590:19:02

-Really?

0:19:020:19:04

-I said so, didn't I?

0:19:040:19:06

-Where have you been?

0:19:080:19:10

-Where have you been?

-

-To see my brief.

0:19:100:19:11

-Who?

0:19:110:19:12

-Who?

-

-His solicitor. He's showing off.

0:19:120:19:15

-You were supposed to be there.

-You're in the shite now.

0:19:150:19:19

-Right, lads,

-the real drinker's arrived.

0:19:240:19:27

-Away!

0:19:300:19:31

-I love Leticia.

0:19:430:19:46

-Tell Lottie how you feel.

0:19:460:19:49

-Thanks for the advice.

0:19:490:19:51

-You don't mind me pissing

-while I'm talking to you?

0:19:510:19:55

-Nice food?

0:20:030:20:04

-Nice food?

-

-It was OK.

0:20:040:20:06

-I'm glad you're happy.

0:20:070:20:09

-What's that?

0:20:120:20:13

-What's that?

-

-A picture of dogs playing pool.

0:20:130:20:15

-I nicked it.

0:20:160:20:17

-Why?

0:20:180:20:19

-Did you eat, Vera?

0:20:220:20:23

-Did you eat, Vera?

-

-No, I wasn't hungry.

0:20:230:20:27

-And if I were starving,

-I couldn't have paid for it.

0:20:270:20:32

-What about the football money?

0:20:320:20:35

-That's money for the charity.

0:20:350:20:38

-RSP-something.

0:20:390:20:42

-You have plenty of money

-to buy booze.

0:20:420:20:45

-Trefor lent me some money.

0:20:450:20:47

-I would have paid for your food too.

0:20:480:20:51

-Do you have any money?

0:20:510:20:53

-We can't let her starve.

0:20:560:20:58

-What are we meant to do

-while she stuffs her face?

0:21:000:21:03

-Another pint?

0:21:030:21:05

-I fancy the scampi.

0:21:050:21:07

-It looked really nice.

0:21:080:21:10

-She'll stink even more of fish then!

0:21:100:21:13

-"Trefor? Go and fetch Alwyn

-from Brynsiencyn."

0:21:210:21:25

-On my way.

0:21:250:21:27

-What's the surprise?

0:21:340:21:36

-What's the surprise?

-

-It won't be a surprise if I say.

0:21:360:21:37

-I don't like surprises.

0:21:380:21:40

-I don't know what happened to Bob.

0:21:410:21:44

-He didn't reply to my calls

-or texts.

0:21:440:21:46

-Strange.

0:21:480:21:49

-We were great friends.

0:21:510:21:53

-He might be ill.

0:21:530:21:54

-Bob's never ill.

0:21:550:21:57

-His phone might not be working.

0:21:580:22:01

-He could have come down to tell you.

0:22:010:22:04

-Bob moves in mysterious ways.

0:22:050:22:07

-Because he's fat, is it?

0:22:070:22:09

-.

0:22:130:22:13

-Subtitles

0:22:190:22:19

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

0:22:190:22:21

-What did you want to say earlier?

0:22:250:22:26

-What did you want to say earlier?

-

-Not now, Trefor.

0:22:260:22:27

-I have something to say,

-if you're interested.

0:22:300:22:34

-I was going to wait

-until everyone was here...

0:22:350:22:38

-..but do you want to hear it?

0:22:390:22:41

-Yes, please.

0:22:410:22:42

-Yes, please.

-

-Well...

0:22:420:22:44

-..Nacw's boyfriend has found

-a new girlfriend and left Nacw.

0:22:440:22:50

-And she's asked

-if I'll take her back.

0:22:510:22:55

-I've forgiven her.

0:22:550:22:58

-I knew things weren't right there

-right from the start.

0:22:580:23:02

-Who's Nacw's boyfriend's

-new girlfriend?

0:23:020:23:05

-A man!

0:23:060:23:08

-Each to his own...

0:23:080:23:09

-..but I never saw the attraction

-of a man with another man.

0:23:100:23:18

-Apologise to Alwyn, Leanne.

0:23:210:23:24

-What for?

0:23:240:23:26

-She thought you were gay.

0:23:260:23:28

-Where the hell have you been?

0:23:420:23:45

-To pick Alwyn up.

0:23:450:23:46

-Did you have to?

0:23:470:23:48

-How was Fat Bob?

0:23:500:23:51

-He'd turned into Invisible Bob.

0:23:510:23:54

-Let's all go to Amlwch.

-It's not far, is it?

0:23:570:24:01

-Look at my balls!

0:24:010:24:04

-Stunning!

0:24:050:24:07

-I nicked them. Do you want them?

0:24:070:24:10

-They're heavy too.

0:24:100:24:12

-Where are Lisa and Elen?

0:24:140:24:15

-Where are Lisa and Elen?

-

-Having a piss.

0:24:150:24:17

-Leanne, are your tits

-as firm as these?

0:24:180:24:22

-Don't be so disgusting!

0:24:220:24:24

-Do you want to walk to Amlwch,

-Danny?

0:24:240:24:27

-Thanks, Trefor.

-Standing up for me finally.

0:24:290:24:32

-Does anyone want to buy

-two pool balls?

0:24:320:24:35

-I don't want to go to Amlwch.

0:24:350:24:36

-I don't want to go to Amlwch.

-

-Why not?

0:24:360:24:38

-I'm on Pub Watch there.

0:24:380:24:40

-Take your rug off

-and no-one will recognise you!

0:24:400:24:44

-Fu**in' hell! Bastard shit.

0:24:490:24:52

-Fu**in' hell!

0:24:540:24:55

-What's wrong?

0:24:550:24:57

-What's wrong?

-

-I've broken my leg.

0:24:570:24:59

-It hurts so much.

0:24:590:25:00

-It hurts so much.

-

-Phone for an ambulance.

0:25:000:25:02

-Is it 999 on Anglesey too?

0:25:020:25:05

-Why didn't you go with Lisa?

0:25:130:25:16

-I'm not a doctor, am I?

0:25:160:25:18

-And anyway, she said she didn't want

-me there. And she's the boss.

0:25:180:25:23

-I don't want to spoil the sesh

-for everyone else.

0:25:230:25:26

-The ambulance boys bought

-Denis Law and Barry John!

0:25:310:25:36

-He wasn't a footballer.

0:25:370:25:39

-Stop the bus. I want a wee.

0:25:410:25:44

-Me too.

0:25:450:25:46

-Me too.

-

-And me.

0:25:460:25:47

-Let's see who can piss the furthest.

0:26:050:26:07

-Or highest!

0:26:070:26:09

-Or highest!

-

-Or longest!

0:26:090:26:10

-Hurry up, lads.

-It's a new year - we're all friends.

0:26:140:26:17

-It's going from bad to worse.

0:26:170:26:20

-I've never peed in public before...

0:26:220:26:25

-..but I can't hold on any longer.

0:26:250:26:28

-Anyone else want to go?

0:26:310:26:33

-Has Jim finished?

0:26:330:26:34

-Yes.

0:26:350:26:37

-I'm fine. I seldom go.

-Dehydration according to the doctor.

0:26:390:26:44

-You don't drink enough.

0:26:450:26:46

-Away we go, Trefor.

0:26:470:26:48

-Alwyn's not back.

0:26:480:26:50

-Away we go, Trefor.

0:26:510:26:53

-Have you seen the size of Alwyn's?

0:26:530:26:55

-No. I was too busy pissing on Danny.

0:26:550:26:57

-What's wrong with it?

0:26:580:26:59

-Nothing.

-It just made me feel inferior.

0:26:590:27:02

-Was it big?

0:27:030:27:04

-Like an elephant's trunk.

0:27:040:27:07

-Were you talking about me?

0:27:090:27:10

-Yes.

0:27:110:27:13

-I thought as much.

0:27:140:27:16

-Wahey! The Amlwch girls are going

-to have it in the Adelphi!

0:27:220:27:27

-Every orifice.

0:27:280:27:30

-Those smell nice.

0:27:380:27:40

-I'm starving.

0:27:400:27:42

-Eating for two.

0:27:420:27:44

-What will he call the baby?

0:27:440:27:46

-I haven't though a lot about it.

0:27:470:27:49

-Isn't it unlucky?

0:27:500:27:51

-I don't believe in that.

-I've thought of many names.

0:27:510:27:54

-Such as? Both of us will have to

-agree on a name.

0:27:550:27:58

-Of course.

0:27:590:28:01

-Fire away then.

0:28:030:28:05

-Dylan.

0:28:050:28:07

-No.

0:28:080:28:09

-Why not?

0:28:090:28:11

-Reminds me of someone from school.

0:28:110:28:13

-He had freckles spots and glasses

-like the Milky Bar Kid.

0:28:130:28:17

-Dewi.

0:28:200:28:21

-No, again from school. Dewi 'Drewi'.

0:28:210:28:24

-Body odour.

0:28:250:28:26

-No, BO.

0:28:270:28:28

-Ann.

0:28:310:28:32

-In tech with me. 'Annifyr'.

0:28:330:28:35

-Sion.

0:28:360:28:37

-I don't mind that.

0:28:370:28:39

-Seven out of ten.

0:28:390:28:41

-Sian.

0:28:430:28:44

-Pity we're not having twins.

0:28:450:28:47

-Since we don't know

-the baby's sex...

0:28:490:28:53

-..let's think of a name

-like Eryl or Ceri...

0:28:530:28:58

-..a bisexual name.

0:28:580:29:00

-Unisex you mean.

0:29:020:29:04

-Yes.

0:29:040:29:05

-Yes.

-

-Mm, yeah.

0:29:050:29:07

-"I've put Mam in the stairlift.

-We have lift-off."

0:29:070:29:11

-Has she had a poo?

0:29:120:29:13

-Has she had a poo?

-

-"She's almost there, I'd say."

0:29:130:29:15

-Good news.

0:29:160:29:17

-Anwen, after your mother.

0:29:190:29:21

-I don't mind that.

0:29:210:29:23

-She won't be with us much longer.

0:29:230:29:26

-How about your mother's name?

0:29:260:29:27

-How about your mother's name?

-

-Anwen Rosemary.

0:29:270:29:30

-Hold on, I've got it.

0:29:330:29:35

-Anwen Bryn Fon Rosemary.

0:29:350:29:39

-Class.

0:29:390:29:41

-What are you doing, you pig?

0:29:570:30:00

-You're disgusting.

0:30:010:30:01

-You're disgusting.

-

-Chill out, Leanne.

0:30:010:30:04

-Which hole have you used?

0:30:050:30:07

-Which hole have you used?

-

-The right one. I'm old-fashioned!

0:30:070:30:09

-I'll take the other hole,

-I don't want to catch anything.

0:30:090:30:13

-"At the roundabout,

-take the second exit."

0:30:140:30:16

-Second exit - good idea.

-You'll be like that in jail!

0:30:160:30:20

-Oy!

0:30:240:30:25

-Sit there. You, sit there.

0:30:270:30:30

-They're not right, Trefor.

-Screw loose!

0:30:300:30:32

-Benllech's so rough these days.

0:30:390:30:43

-Move up.

0:30:450:30:47

-I'm eating too much.

0:30:530:30:54

-You need the energy.

0:30:550:30:56

-You need the energy.

-

-I'm sure I can feel it kicking.

0:30:560:30:59

-Do you want to feel it?

0:30:590:31:01

-OK then.

0:31:010:31:02

-Can you feel anything?

0:31:040:31:06

-Can you feel anything?

-

-Six chips and a sausage!

0:31:060:31:08

-Hello, can you hear me?

0:31:100:31:12

-Let's go to Beaumaris - just us two.

0:31:140:31:17

-They'll be here for hours.

0:31:170:31:19

-I've never been to Beaumaris before.

0:31:190:31:21

-Yes, you have.

-On one of our first dates.

0:31:220:31:24

-We had sausages

-on a portable barbecue with rolls.

0:31:250:31:27

-I sat in sheep poo.

0:31:280:31:30

-I sat in sheep poo.

-

-And it rained.

0:31:300:31:32

-I was scared of making

-the first move.

0:31:320:31:35

-I was soaking.

0:31:360:31:38

-Were you?

0:31:380:31:40

-Come on, Beaumaris. And don't be

-scared of making the first move.

0:31:410:31:44

-I'm shy, Leanne.

0:31:450:31:46

-Trefor, when you see something

-you like, you have to go for it.

0:31:470:31:50

-Show your balls sometimes.

0:31:500:31:52

-That's illegal in a public place.

0:31:520:31:55

-That's not what I meant.

-Come on, Beaumaris.

0:31:560:31:59

-Away we go.

0:31:590:32:01

-Onwards and upwards.

0:32:020:32:04

-Love you, Leanne.

0:32:040:32:05

-I thought you were going to be ages.

0:32:090:32:11

-We got kicked out because Vera

-tried to steal a dartboard.

0:32:120:32:15

-I tried to explain that I don't

-know what I'm doing half the time.

0:32:150:32:20

-Come on, Trefor, let's go.

0:32:210:32:23

-I did steal a set of darts

-with Jocky Wilson's face on them.

0:32:230:32:27

-He's dead too.

0:32:280:32:30

-Poor dab.

0:32:300:32:32

-There was something sexy about him.

0:32:320:32:35

-Especially when he was sweating.

0:32:350:32:38

-Common!

0:32:390:32:40

-They won't miss one of their optics.

-Shit, it's strong.

0:32:500:32:54

-Have you phoned Lisa?

0:32:550:32:57

-No.

0:32:570:32:58

-Right, how many of you

-lent me money?

0:33:000:33:02

-Me.

0:33:030:33:04

-How much?

0:33:040:33:06

-40.

0:33:060:33:07

-40.

-

-Oh, dear.

0:33:070:33:09

-I only have my charity money.

0:33:100:33:12

-The little children of Taiwan.

0:33:120:33:15

-Poor dabs.

0:33:150:33:18

-Trefor?

0:33:200:33:21

-Would you lend me 40, my love?

0:33:220:33:26

-Of course. Leanne.

0:33:270:33:30

-Thanks, Trefor. I won't forget this.

0:33:350:33:38

-Heaven awaits you.

0:33:380:33:41

-I still can't believe the size

-of Alwyn's whopper.

0:33:410:33:45

-.

0:33:510:33:51

-Subtitles

0:33:560:33:56

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

0:33:560:33:58

-Listen, Lottie,

-I'm only going to say this once.

0:34:000:34:03

-I want Leticia.

0:34:040:34:06

-I'll say it again. I want Leticia.

0:34:070:34:10

-I'm her father, I own half of her.

0:34:100:34:13

-I don't know which half.

0:34:150:34:17

-You and Raymond have the twins

-so it's only fair.

0:34:170:34:20

-You'll still have two and a half

-children and I'll have half.

0:34:200:34:26

-I don't care

-even if you don't like it.

0:34:280:34:30

-You can choose which half.

0:34:310:34:33

-Goodbye.

-You'll be hearing from by solicitor.

0:34:360:34:40

-Piss off yourself.

0:34:400:34:41

-Hey, that went well.

0:34:440:34:45

-I think she knows

-where she stands now.

0:34:450:34:48

-You'll never believe this.

0:34:490:34:51

-What?

0:34:510:34:53

-Siegfried's set a date

-for the wedding.

0:34:540:34:58

-Congratulations. When?

0:34:590:35:01

-The end of March.

0:35:010:35:03

-Are you pregnant?

0:35:030:35:04

-Are you pregnant?

-

-No!

0:35:040:35:05

-And I'm not marrying him anyways.

0:35:060:35:08

-Why not?

0:35:080:35:09

-He's making decisions

-without discussing them with me.

0:35:100:35:13

-And I've made

-a New Year's resolution.

0:35:130:35:15

-Nobody's telling me what to do.

0:35:150:35:19

-Leanne, have you made

-a New Year's resolution?

0:35:190:35:22

-Yes.

0:35:220:35:23

-Yes.

-

-Does it involve me?

0:35:230:35:25

-No. My resolution

-is not making any resolutions.

0:35:250:35:30

-I never keep them.

0:35:300:35:32

-What's your New Year's resolution?

0:35:350:35:37

-What's your New Year's resolution?

-

-I haven't made one.

0:35:370:35:39

-Save money to buy a house.

0:35:390:35:41

-Oh, yes.

0:35:410:35:43

-I'd forgotten about that.

0:35:430:35:46

-Sebastian Coe is the only footballer

-I have left.

0:35:460:35:50

-Cider, Vera?

0:35:530:35:55

-What are you doing?

0:36:110:36:13

-I had lovely chips

-in Llangefni once.

0:36:130:36:16

-But there was a long queue.

0:36:160:36:19

-19... 78, I think it was.

0:36:200:36:25

-July.

0:36:250:36:28

-The fish was lovely...

0:36:280:36:31

-..although the batter

-was a little too crispy.

0:36:310:36:35

-The mushy peas were slightly watery,

-if you catch my drift.

0:36:370:36:42

-Alwyn, does my finger smell fishy?

0:36:420:36:47

-No.

0:36:470:36:49

-That's the only problem

-with these dollies.

0:36:490:36:52

-You don't get the authentic smell.

0:36:520:36:54

-# Ting-a-ling-a-ling,

-ting-a-ling-a-ling

0:36:560:36:58

-# Santa Claus' balls

0:36:580:37:01

-# Ting-a-ling-a-ling,

-ting-a-ling-a-ling... #

0:37:010:37:03

-"She still hasn't gone."

0:37:040:37:06

-Give her a tin of mushy peas

-to see what happens.

0:37:060:37:12

-# Ting-a-ling-a-ling... #

0:37:120:37:14

-Jim James must have a huge bladder!

0:37:320:37:36

-Who's Elen snogging?

0:37:370:37:39

-The barman. Stolen him from the pub.

0:37:430:37:47

-Lucky bitch.

0:37:480:37:50

-I have a present for you, you prick.

0:37:510:37:53

-I can't read that, I'm shit-faced.

-What does it say?

0:37:550:37:59

-Case dropped - lack of evidence!

0:37:590:38:02

-I was only pulling your leg.

-We're off the hook!

0:38:030:38:06

-Happy New Year!

0:38:060:38:08

-Happy New Year!

0:38:080:38:10

-It's an hour away.

0:38:100:38:11

-Hey, has Davina

-enjoyed herself, Danny?

0:38:130:38:16

-I don't know.

-She hasn't said a word all day.

0:38:160:38:19

-Old Davina's quite shy.

0:38:210:38:24

-Hey, we have to organise

-more of these trips.

0:38:270:38:31

-Once a year.

0:38:310:38:33

-Every New Year's Eve or something.

0:38:330:38:36

-Why?

0:38:360:38:38

-I like your company.

0:38:380:38:40

-Really?

0:38:400:38:41

-Really?

-

-Yes.

0:38:410:38:42

-Why? We only abuse you.

0:38:420:38:44

-I know you don't really mean it.

0:38:450:38:47

-We do though.

0:38:470:38:49

-It doesn't matter.

-I'm still enjoying myself.

0:38:500:38:53

-You need someone sensible

-in your midst.

0:38:530:38:56

-Hairy whore!

0:39:020:39:04

-What's the surprise?

0:39:170:39:19

-What's the surprise?

-

-Almost there.

0:39:190:39:21

-What did you want to say earlier?

0:39:210:39:23

-What did you want to say earlier?

-

-"Trefor, Mam's been."

0:39:230:39:25

-Been where?

0:39:270:39:29

-"She's had a dump, you knob.

-It's massive, like a submarine."

0:39:300:39:33

-You thought she'd gone

-to a better place.

0:39:340:39:37

-There's no place like home.

0:39:370:39:41

-Everyone happy?

0:39:420:39:43

-Everyone happy?

-

-Leave them.

0:39:430:39:44

-What I wanted to say was...

-Mam's left her husband.

0:39:470:39:51

-The second one?

-And she's going for a third.

0:39:510:39:55

-No, but she doesn't want to stay

-in Aberystwyth on her own.

0:39:550:40:00

-What does she want to do?

0:40:010:40:02

-What does she want to do?

-

-She wants to live with us.

0:40:020:40:05

-Is she pretty?

0:40:060:40:07

-I don't know.

0:40:070:40:09

-Are you happy with that?

0:40:090:40:12

-With what?

0:40:130:40:14

-Mam wants to live with us.

0:40:150:40:17

-Me, you, Anwen Rosemary,

-Anwen, Rosemary and Shelley?

0:40:190:40:27

-OK then.

-We'll have more babysitters.

0:40:290:40:32

-We need our own place eventually -

-understand?

0:40:330:40:36

-Loud and clear.

0:40:370:40:39

-What's the surprise? I hope it's

-a good one after all the build-up.

0:40:400:40:44

-"You've reached your destination."

0:40:530:40:55

-Destination surprise.

0:40:550:40:58

-Everyone's sleeping.

0:40:590:41:01

-They'll wake up.

0:41:010:41:03

-FIREWORK SOUNDS

0:41:030:41:05

-This is the surprise

-Belinda and I organised for you.

0:41:050:41:09

-Fire away, Belinda.

0:41:120:41:14

-What are you doing here?

0:41:190:41:20

-What are you doing here?

-

-He texted me.

0:41:200:41:23

-Are you OK? Does it hurt?

0:41:230:41:25

-Are you OK? Does it hurt?

-

-I have broken it, knobhead.

0:41:250:41:27

-Which one?

0:41:280:41:29

-Happy New Year, everyone.

0:41:290:41:31

-Happy New Year.

0:41:320:41:34

-To the new year.

0:41:350:41:37

-2014!

0:41:370:41:40

-To Anwen Rosemary.

0:41:410:41:43

-Who the f**k?

0:41:430:41:44

-Who the f**k?

-

-To me!

0:41:440:41:45

-To Nacw.

0:41:450:41:47

-To Siegfried.

0:41:470:41:48

-To Siegfried.

-

-Sod him - to freedom!

0:41:480:41:50

-To Davina.

0:41:500:41:52

-To Danny and me.

0:41:520:41:55

-Here's the invoice

-for the fireworks.

0:41:570:42:00

-I'm giving the money to a good

-cause - promoting cruelty to women.

0:42:000:42:06

-I don't believe in cruelty to women.

0:42:060:42:09

-You'll have to think

-of something else.

0:42:090:42:12

-Pricey.

0:42:130:42:14

-They're the real deal.

0:42:140:42:16

-Health and safety never sleep,

-Trefor.

0:42:160:42:19

-Trefor, you won

-the football competition.

0:42:190:42:24

-I didn't try.

0:42:240:42:26

-I know! To me!

0:42:260:42:28

-To Vera!

0:42:290:42:31

-All the best, Vera.

0:42:340:42:36

-I hope you survive another year.

0:42:360:42:39

-I'm going to try my best.

0:42:400:42:42

-I wouldn't like to lose you.

0:42:420:42:44

-To us.

0:42:440:42:46

-To us!

0:42:460:42:49

-And Belinda.

0:42:490:42:52

-And Belinda.

0:42:520:42:55

-Thanks for the surprise.

0:42:570:42:59

-Anyone want a Welsh cake.

-I roasted them.

0:42:590:43:03

-What are you on about?

0:43:040:43:05

-What are you on about?

-

-Anyone want one?

0:43:050:43:06

-I need the toilet. Move, Vera.

0:43:070:43:10

-You've pissed enough,

-it's time you had a cack.

0:43:100:43:14

-Shut it!

0:43:140:43:15

-Sorry about today.

0:43:240:43:25

-For what?

0:43:260:43:28

-I've been a real bitch.

0:43:280:43:29

-I've been a real bitch.

-

-I didn't notice.

0:43:290:43:30

-I'm worried about Mam and the baby.

0:43:310:43:35

-I'm worried about you.

0:43:350:43:36

-I worry about me sometimes.

-Why are you worried?

0:43:370:43:40

-You're so soft.

0:43:400:43:42

-You let everyone walk over you

-and shout abuse at you.

0:43:420:43:47

-I'm quite innocent at heart.

0:43:470:43:50

-I've noticed today, more than ever,

-that this is the way you are.

0:43:500:43:53

-You're the nicest man I've ever met.

0:43:540:43:57

-This gang is together

-because of you.

0:44:000:44:04

-Don't change, Trefor.

0:44:050:44:07

-I love you as you are.

0:44:070:44:08

-Thank you. Happy New Year, Leanne.

0:44:090:44:12

-And many more together.

0:44:130:44:15

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

0:45:140:45:16

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0:45:160:45:16

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