Episode 3 And They're Off... for Sport Relief

APPLAUSE

Hello, and welcome to And They're Off for Sport Relief,

the show where five fearless, funny and frankly foolish

celebrities go head to head in a series of wacky races.

And in the studio are five contestants,

all hoping to the choose the celeb who is first past the post.

Plus, we are here to raise lots of money for Sport Relief.

And you at home can do your bit and donate.

Details of how to do so will be coming up later in the show.

But now, it is time to meet the five players all hoping

to be quick off the blocks tonight.

First up, we have Pauline.

She's a civil servant from London.

Next up, meet Carl.

He's an IT trainer from County Durham.

Our third player tonight is Denise.

She's a project coordinator from Aberdeen.

Fourth in, it's Lee.

He's a company director from Leicester.

And, finally, it's Kirsten, a clerical assistant from Glasgow.

So, those are our contestants.

It is time to meet the celebrities who'll be racing for them tonight.

First up, it's model, TV presenter and Loose Woman Penny Lancaster.

Mrs Rod Stewart is 6' 1".

Will this prove to be a tall order,

or will she leg it over the finish line?

Holing up next, it's former England cricket captain Michael Vaughan.

He led England to Ashes glory,

but can he hit the opposition for six

or will he end up on a sticky wicket?

Up next, it's the chart-topping pop star Una Healy.

If she hits the right notes, she could do well.

But does the Saturdays singer have a hope of winning

in a month of Sundays?

Our next competitor is TV presenter Michelle Ackerley.

She is a regular host of The One Show.

But will she be our number one tonight,

or will she just make a show of herself?

Finally, it's sports presenter Mike Bushell,

a man more used to talking about sport than taking part.

But if he does well today,

it's everyone else who'll be behind the Mike.

APPLAUSE

I mean, that is a brilliant-looking group of celebrities.

You almost feel guilty about what they're about to do.

So, here's how the game works.

Our celebrities will be getting down and dirty in five rip-roaring races.

In every race, each one of you will be represented by one of them.

But you'll have to earn the right to pick a celeb.

And if you pick the loser, I'm afraid you're out of the game.

Let's have a look at the first race,

as demonstrated by our resident Olympian.

Our race demonstrator is Daryll Neita,

Olympic sprinter and world relay silver medallist.

And our first race is the mud run.

It's a simple test of speed and power.

Our celebrities need to sprint 50m to the finish,

but avoid getting stuck in the three mud pits.

They'll need to be strong and focused to make it

to the end of the course.

If they get stuck in the mud, they'll need to haul themselves out

and keep going till they reach the finish line.

Who are you behind in the mud run?

So, the first race is a simple test of speed and power.

Who do you think will be covered in glory,

and who will be just covered in mud?

It's time to find out.

You're about to see five pictures that are all clues to an answer.

The first person to buzz in and give the correct answer

gets the first choice of celebrity.

Here is your first question.

These actors all starred in which TV drama?

-Denise?

-Call The Midwife?

Is the right answer. Well done.

Let's see the rest of our actors.

We have Pam Ferris, Jenny Agutter, Helen George,

Jessica Raine and Miranda Hart.

Denise, you have first pick of our celebrities.

They're all here on the board. They're taking on the mud run.

Who's going to do it for you?

I am going to go with my gut, with Michelle.

Michelle. Denise, she's yours.

Your next question coming right up.

These sporting events happened in which year?

Yes, Carl?

2012?

Is exactly what we were looking for. Well done, Carl.

2012 it was.

Andy Murray won the US Open,

Manchester City won the Premier League,

Bradley Wiggins won the Tour de France,

Jonnie Peacock won Paralympic gold and that, of course,

is Mo Farah and Usain Bolt at London 2012.

Carl, you're off the mark.

And you get the next pick of our celebrities.

-Who's going to be?

-I think I'm going to go for Una.

You want to go for Una, why's that?

She's married to Ben Foden, rugby player. So, yeah.

I think maybe it might have rubbed off on her a little bit.

-Carl, Una is yours.

-Thank you.

Three celebrities still to choose from.

Here's your next question.

These are photos of which comedian?

-Kirsten?

-Eddie Izzard?

She knows her stuff. Absolutely right. Well done.

Let's reveal a couple more pictures on the board.

Yes, that is indeed Eddie Izzard's tongue.

So, Kirsten, you have the next pick of our celebrities.

I think I'll go with Michael.

He's obviously quite competitive, being a cricketer,

and he'll want to win and do well.

Michael Vaughan. Kirsten, he is all yours.

OK, Pauline, Lee.

The next person to get this question right will have that crucial

last pick of our celebrities going into the mud run.

And here we go. These are all famous names in which industry?

-Pauline?

-Fashion?

-Is the right answer.

-Yes!

Yes. Good!

We have Ralph Lauren, Stella McCartney, Tom Ford,

Donatella Versace and Vivienne Westwood.

OK, Pauline. Two celebrities left to pick from.

-Mike Bushell, Penny Lancaster.

-I am going for Penny.

I've got every confidence that her long legs will do the trick.

-Leaping through those mud pits like a gazelle.

-That's right!

-Yep.

-Penny Lancaster is yours.

Yes!

She's happy, she's happy.

Lee, not so happy?

I double bluffed them, because I think Mike's got this all day long.

Yeah, right!

Looks like Lee has got his tactics.

Mike is yours.

So, Pauline has Penny, Carl has Una, Denise, you've got Michelle.

Lee has got Mike and Kirsten has Michael Vaughan.

Remember, if your celeb comes last, you will be leaving us tonight.

Get ready to support your runners.

Let's go over to our commentator Dave Lamb, and the mud run.

Here it is, then, the mighty mud run.

Ackerley, on the offensive.

Bushell, on the edge.

Lancaster, on the warpath.

Vaughan on the run already, apparently.

And Healy, on a wing and a prayer.

-HOOTER

-And they're off!

And they've all started well.

It looks like Vaughan and Bushell out in front.

Well, that's a huge two-footed jump there from Michael Vaughan.

He nearly cleared the pit.

Una, it has to be said, in blue, is struggling a little bit.

But look at Michael go!

He's almost cleared the second one, there.

Mike and Michelle, very much on his heels.

It's Penny and Una at the moment bringing up the rear.

And Penny's down!

It's Penny who's down, and Una's not last any more.

She's second last, which is only slightly less last, but, still.

And Michael Vaughan, no-one's going to catch him here, surely?

He's totally owning these mud pits.

Mike, in purple, Michelle in yellow, hardly anything between them there.

As Michael inevitably crosses the finish line in first place.

It's Michelle who takes second and Mike third.

But here's the real titanic struggle.

It's Una, from the Saturdays, versus Penny Lancaster, oh my days.

Una, in blue, has the advantage.

But Penny has put in a mighty leap there.

She's really getting stuck in.

Oh, no.

Wait, she's literally, actually got stuck in.

Una takes fourth place.

Well, come on, Penny, you can get to the end here.

She's plucky, and she's up.

She looks an absolute state, mind.

But Penny Lancaster's a real trooper.

And she's going to finish fifth here.

She's going to finish backwards.

What's this, though? Mike's going back for more.

No, he's actually gone back for his shoe.

Well, that's sensible.

APPLAUSE

Kirsten, eh? Michael Vaughan, out there like a shot.

-That was incredible running.

-I was so impressed, I'm so happy.

Well done, Michael.

Lee, tell us about...

-..Mike Bushell.

-It's all about Magic Mike.

Did you see him slow down and look for the others?

He was playing at cool, like I was, in the actual question round.

-He's done good.

-And Pauline, you had the chance...

I know, and I didn't go for Mike, I know.

-Silly mistake.

-I am devastated, though, Pauline,

because I thought we were going to have a great time tonight.

Hasn't she been fantastic?

Even in such a short space of time. APPLAUSE

Thank you for playing, Pauline.

And, of course, we have to say goodbye

for the moment to Penny Lancaster.

I think I went up to my chin.

I think I nearly completely did a mud mask.

But it was, yeah, it was just trying to get out.

It doesn't matter how fast you are.

It's just the challenge of moving in mud.

And my body is just not designed for that.

APPLAUSE

We have lost Penny.

But four amazing celebs still remain.

Let's have a look at their next race.

Race two is the donuts.

Our celebrities need to make their way

over eight inflatable donuts to the finish line.

They're going to need good balance and agility just to make it across

because if they hit the water, they're back to the start.

They can use any technique they want.

Some might run,

but some might crawl.

Maybe slow and steady will win the race?

Who are you behind in the donuts?

So who do you think will make a splash,

and who is just going to splash out?

Here's your first question.

These have all played which character?

-Kirsten?

-Sherlock?

Sherlock Holmes is exactly what we were looking for.

Well done. Jonny Lee Miller, Ian McKellen,

Robert Downey Jr and Benedict Cumberbatch.

Kirsten, of course you should be smiling

because you get first pick of our celebrities.

I'm thinking, although Michael done really well in the last race

for me, I think I'm going to go for Michelle.

Kirsten, Michelle is yours.

Fingers back on your buzzers, here's your next question.

These musicians come from which country?

-Carl, just in there.

-Ireland.

Is the right answer. Well done.

The Corrs, B*Witched, Boyzone and U2.

Well done.

So, you've got the next pick of our three remaining celebrities.

I thought Michael was looking really lean.

I know he flew through it.

-Yeah, I'll go with Michael. I'll go with Michael.

-Carl, he's yours.

Right, Denise and Lee.

Here we go.

These are all photos of which celebrity?

-Denise.

-Alan Carr.

Is the right answer.

Well done, Denise.

A few more faces of Alan Carr.

So, is it going to be Mike or is it going to be Una?

-I think I'm going to go with Mike.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-OK, let's go for Mike Bushell, Denise.

-Yeah.

Lee, two rounds out of two.

You are left lumbered with the last remaining celebrity.

I think Una's centre of gravity will be nice and low,

she'll take her time. I think she's going to win it.

Lee and Una, you're hooking up.

It's time to find out who's got it right

and who's taking the taxi home.

Here we go.

Here are those tasty donuts.

Michael, just time for a warm up.

Una having a limber up.

Mike looks like he's already given up.

Michelle all set for a punch-up.

-HOOTER

-And they're off!

And they've all gone for an attacking run.

Michelle's off, Mike's off, Una's off.

And there goes Michael too.

That's absolute carnage.

Let's see that again. Michael going for a splash.

It's called the donut because you do-nut want to do it like this!

They're all going to have to go back to the start, here.

There they are, making their sorry way back.

Take two. Michelle, in yellow, staying on this time.

Michael's not. Michael isn't.

And nor is Mike in purple.

Well, Michelle's up. She doesn't look steady here.

Oh, dear!

What's Una, in blue, got?

One, two...

No!

Michael looking absolutely filthy here.

Let's not dwell on that. He's still on.

He's still on, here.

Michael Vaughan, ex-England captain. And so's Mike.

He's on his belly, going absolutely nowhere.

Another fall there for Michelle.

Mike's still on his belly and he's still going nowhere.

It's taking all of his efforts just to stay on, really.

And the same can be said of Michael Vaughan.

He's managing to avoid going in the water.

He's also managing to avoid going quickly,

but you can't have everything.

And here's Una, in blue.

She takes a run and she's still on.

That's exceptional running from Una.

She's still on. So's Michelle.

I've not seen anyone cling that tight to a donut, well,

since the last time someone tried to steal my donut.

I really love donuts!

Anyway, it's Mike who's out in front.

Michael second, Michelle third.

Una fourth. Mike's up!

He's out! And it is the icing on the donut for Mike, who wins it.

Followed reasonably closely by an exhausted Michael Vaughan.

So it's Michelle versus Una at the business end.

Look at them go. Look at them go!

Or not, as the case may be.

Come on, it's time for these two to slug it out.

Which is ironic, really, because they are working their way

across the course with the speed of two actual slugs.

Has Michelle got this, though?

Una there, really needs her opponent to fall here.

She needs Michelle to have a mishap.

But Michelle is hauling herself off these donuts.

Yes, she's leaving Una for dust now!

And she staggers across the line.

A very worthy third place.

And all Una can do is watch the others celebrate

and wish she'd never got involved.

APPLAUSE

Denise...

Who would have thought Mike Bushell at the top of the tree?

Wow! I am so proud of Mike right now.

Very well done indeed.

Well, Kirsten, you had first pick.

Did Michelle leave you with your heart in your mouth?

Definitely. It just shows that, even though I came first

and had first choice, it really comes down to how you perform.

It really does. Lee, you said Una was going to win.

If I'd have got it right, I'd have stayed loyal to Mike,

because he didn't let me down in the first race.

Denise knew that. So she took Mike.

Hey.

Let's hear it for Lee.

APPLAUSE

We've also got to say goodbye to Una Healy.

I felt like a sloth towards the end, like.

I was just coming... And I knew I was last.

The sloth just really came out of me. I was like, ugh...

That's it. When this becomes an Olympic sport,

-that's the way to win it. On your belly.

-That's right!

APPLAUSE

Now, all of our celebrities have given up their time

to try and raise as much money as possible for Sport Relief.

50% of the money raised goes to projects right here in the UK.

And this next film looks at homelessness.

Bereavement.

Bad choices.

Family issues.

Grief.

We don't know what life may throw at us

that could cause us to end up homeless.

Bill found himself sleeping rough on this traffic island in Birmingham.

I hadn't got anything, apart from my coat.

I'd come across some cardboard and lay on that.

I would get right up the corner,

because the bitter cold that you get in the winter,

you were so numb, so frozen.

So I thought, "Yeah, this is going to be it.

"They'll find me dead here."

I lived in a three-bedroom house, had me mum and me dad,

and I worked at the Royal Hospital.

Perfectly normal life.

Me and my mum were really close.

And when she died, it just...

..destroyed me, really.

Me dad was so distraught, he'd take his aggression out towards me.

It got to a stage where I couldn't live with him any more.

So I just packed up few things and I left.

Then I lost my job.

And I ended up on the streets, with nothing.

There are more than 300,000 people who are homeless in Britain tonight.

But, thankfully, money raised through Sport Relief

goes to a project in the centre of Birmingham where people

who are homeless or disadvantaged can come in from the cold,

see some friendly faces, have a hot meal...

..and sing.

THEY SING: Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen

Most of the people here are used to being kind of ignored

and shoved to one side through life.

Suddenly, they're in a performance situation on stage

and it's a kind of total reversal of what they may have experienced

in their previous lives.

Coming here, getting to know new people,

just boosts my confidence, my self-esteem.

I just feel like I can be myself here,

in a way that I can't perhaps anywhere else.

It's like a form of medicine, if you like.

I'm a different person.

I'm happier than I've ever been.

You can support the vital work of projects just like this one

all over the UK.

Thank you.

The money raised through Sport Relief could help improve the lives

of people like Bill, who really need your support.

So please, pick up your phone and just send a text.

It could change someone's life.

It is that simple. Texts will cost your donation,

plus your standard network message charge,

and 100% of your donation will go to Sport Relief.

You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payer's permission.

For full terms and more information, go to bbc.co.uk/sportrelief.

Anything you can spare really will make a big difference.

Right, guys. We're are the halfway point

and still in the game are Carl, Denise and Kirsten,

all hoping to be tonight's champion.

And their fate lies in the hands of Michelle Ackerley,

Michael Vaughan and Mike Bushell.

Time to find out what the next race is.

Now, we have tested their bodies,

now we're going to test their brains.

Race three is the elevator.

Our celebrities are faced with identical Perspex tubes.

Cut into each is a pattern of differently sized hand holes.

All they need to do is choose the right path

to carefully manoeuvre the ball up and out of the tube.

This race takes logic, dexterity and ball control.

Who are you behind in the elevator?

Definitely more difficult than it looks, this one.

Here is your first question.

These films are based on the works of which writer?

-Carl, first in.

-Shakespeare?

Is the right answer, Carl.

There they are. All three of them,

Macbeth, Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet.

So, Carl, you, sir, have first pick of our three remaining celebrities.

I think I'm going to go Michelle.

I think she may be a bit more of a thinker.

-Yeah, I'll go Michelle.

-OK.

Michelle, Carl, is all yours.

Denise and Kirsten,

get this question right and you'll have

the last pick of our celebrities. Here we go.

These are all pictures of which TV presenter?

David Attenborough.

Is the right answer, Denise. Well done.

Denise, is it going to be Michael or is it going to be Mike?

I've used Michelle and Mike, so I'm going to go Michael this time.

Denise, you have Michael Vaughan, which means, Kirsten,

-you're left with the last remaining celebrity.

-That's fine.

He's proved us wrong before, so let's hope he does it again.

Mike Bushell is yours. It's time to find out

who's rising to the top and who's sinking like a stone.

Here go.

Race three, the elevator.

Mike, channelling steps for the win.

Michelle, a great big grin.

Michael, chinny chin-chin.

-HOOTER

-And they're off.

Now, who'll get the ball out of the elevator first?

Michael, in orange, is making a very strong start here.

He's trying to find the right holes.

A little bit of a fumble there, but he has kept hold of the ball,

which is kind of what you want from a cricketer.

Michelle's just behind here, in yellow.

She's teasing that ball up the elevator.

Look at her tease it.

But poor old Mike's been brought to his knees by the whole thing.

He just can't seem to find the right holes here.

And chucking it's not going to help, either, fella.

Mike's back at the bottom.

Michael, meanwhile, is nearly out.

Well, this is impressive stuff.

He's chest high, he just needs to lift it over now.

Can he do that?

Can he get that ball out of that tube?

Yes, he can, of course he can.

Michael Vaughan, legendary batsman, first in the elevator.

But, as always,

it's the battle for the minor places we're interested in.

Is Michelle going to take second here?

Or is Mike going to perform some sort of ball-based miracle?

It's not looking likely, really.

Michelle is very close to winning.

You can't just chuck it, Mike.

You can't just chuck it.

That's never going to work.

Michelle's got this.

Michelle survives and takes second place very nicely indeed.

Mike, I'm afraid, a valiant, if random attempt.

But he finishes last.

And he's not happy. He's not happy at all.

Denise, a bit of pot luck helps every now and then.

Oh, wow, I'm so excited.

Carl, you had the first pick, but it got a bit sweaty there.

Yeah, definitely did. Just that little bit of...

She could have done with a little bit more height there at the end.

-But she smashed it.

-Kirsten.

What happened with Mike?

I'm just glad he never broke his arm.

LAUGHTER

Kirsten, you've been a brilliant player, but we're going

to have to say goodbye. Let's hear it for Kirsten.

We are also saying goodbye, I think, to Mike Bushell.

Even looking at it now, I still can't work out how you did it.

I'm going to be scratching my head.

I think I'll stick to the running.

Get one in your garden. Bit of practice.

Call us next year, once you've figured it out.

APPLAUSE

So, Carl and Denise, you have done so well to get this far.

But there is only room for one of you in tonight's final.

Let's take a look at the race that'll decide your fate.

In race four, our celebrities will tackle the death slide.

They'll scramble 20m up a climbing wall.

It's a test of courage and steady nerves

as they drop down the slide

and plunge into the freezing waters below.

Then, it's a short swim to the mats

before they haul themselves out and sprint to the finish line.

Who are you behind in the death slide?

This race is a real test of courage

and choosing first in this round could make all the difference.

So we've made it that little bit harder for you.

In this head to head, you'll need to answer two questions correctly, OK?

Here is your first question.

These celebrities are both famously associated with which town?

-Carl's in first?

-Bolton?

-Is the right answer.

-Yay!

Well done, Carl. Amir Khan and Peter Kay.

And that means, Carl, that you are one up.

-But, Denise, you're not out of the game.

-No.

OK, one more question and you could make it level pegging.

Here's your question.

These fictional characters share which surname?

Erm, oh...

-Carl?

-Darcy?

It is, it is! Ugh!

She knows. LAUGHTER

It absolutely is the right answer, Carl.

Well done, well done.

Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones' Diary and Mr Darcy in Pride And Prejudice.

So, that is 2-0.

It means that you, my friend, have first pick of our celebrities.

-I'm going to go with Michael.

-Yeah?

-Yep.

Carl, you have Michael Vaughan.

Denise, you don't look happy?

Honestly, I wouldn't have known how to choose between them.

-Denise, Michelle is yours.

-Yep.

So, it all comes down to this next race.

Here we go.

Race four is the death slide.

Michael, he'll take you down.

Michelle, she'll take you to the gun show.

But who'll take their moment?

A One Show presenter or a sporting legend?

-HOOTER

-And they're off!

Michelle needs to make a very strong start here,

but forget being a batsman,

Michael's up the wall like Batman

and he could be ROBIN Michelle of her chances here.

He's going to be first down the death slide.

And off he goes, look at that,

almost perfect posture down the slide.

Here comes the flight.

And that's a pretty graceful fall for a big guy.

Let's see that splash again.

Well, look at him, he goes up...

..and then wallop.

You'd pay good money to see that kind of thing at the aquarium.

Can Michelle do as well here?

The slide is textbook.

Oh, no! Oh, no, the scream says it all.

Oh, dear me, let's see that take off again.

It's textbook up to here,

but then, well, is it a bird, is it a plane?

No, it's a One Show presenter wondering why she agreed to do this.

Michael, in orange, meanwhile, is already on the mat.

He's got to get himself up

because Michelle, in yellow, is right behind him

like some sort of menacing fish in a helmet.

But she's tiring, probably weighed down by the gallon of water

she's just swallowed. Michael's on his feet,

he's on his feet and now he's running to victory.

What a display that has been.

Michael takes it.

But Michelle won't quit here.

Even though she's already officially been beaten,

she will not quit.

She's giving it everything.

She's thrown the lot at this.

Oh, and she gets her reward.

There's a cheeky high five.

It's offered, it's accepted, let's never speak of this again.

APPLAUSE

That's what we like to see, a hug out there and a hug in here as well.

What can I say, eh? Cracking.

-Spot on.

-A perfect performance and, as a result, Carl, you sir,

are through to the final round.

APPLAUSE

Denise, you have been fantastic.

-Thank you.

-You have cheered all the way, Denise.

-In the end, just run out of puff.

-That's it.

-Let's hear it for Denise.

-Thanks!

APPLAUSE

And let's get one last word from our final two celebs,

Michael and Michelle.

I didn't think there was any chance, to be fair.

I mean, look at the size of him.

So, no, you did really well there.

Tell you what, I wouldn't want to do that slide again.

-It felt like you were in the air for about five seconds.

-That's it!

You feel like you're flying when you come off it, don't you?

I thought I was going to go over the finish.

APPLAUSE

Now, in a moment, all of our celebrities will be back

to take part in the final race.

And the reason they've been putting themselves through the mill tonight

is to raise money for Sport Relief.

Cape Town in South Africa is one place

where your generosity is making a huge difference.

Cape Town may boast some of the world's best waves

but it also rates as one of the most dangerous cities in the world.

This is Sifo, and like an estimated one in five young South Africans,

he has experienced post-traumatic stress disorder.

These surf therapy sessions being run on Cape Town's beaches

are supported by Sport Relief.

They're helping young people cope with trauma and emotional stress

and improving their mental health.

Sport has the power to change so many lives

and it all starts tonight with you.

Just £10 could provide two weeks of surfing and therapy

for someone like Sifo.

Thank you.

Vital projects like these really do become a lifeline

for vulnerable people, all across the world.

And it's your donations that make it happen.

So please, if you can, send a text and help someone tonight.

Now then. I'm here with Carl, who, ladies and gentlemen,

has managed to beat four great contestants.

He is our finalist tonight.

Let's hear it for him. APPLAUSE

Carl, we're here to raise lots of money for Sport Relief,

of course we are, but we also want you to go home

-with something as well.

-That'd be nice.

Let's have a look and see what you're playing for tonight.

APPLAUSE

What about this?

That looks amazing.

-Yeah?

-Oh, my God, I absolutely love golf.

Like...

-That's ridiculous.

-And, Carl, you haven't even heard of half of it.

So, we have for you two tickets

to the final day at the Open at Carnoustie.

You're going to watch the winning putt from a grandstand

on the 18th green and if that wasn't enough,

you will get to meet some of the world's top golfers

and even hold the Claret Jug yourself.

That's amazing. That is amazing.

We have to say thank you so much to the Open for this brilliant prize.

-But you still have a bit of work to do, Carl, all right?

-Yeah.

In our final race, all five of our celebrities are back in play.

All you have to do is choose the winner.

I'm going to ask you four questions.

For every question you get right,

you'll get the chance to pick a celebrity.

And remember, the more questions you answer correctly,

-the more celebrities you can pick. Does that make sense?

-Absolutely.

OK. Come on, Carl, we can do this. Here's your first one.

Which was the first James Bond song to win an Oscar?

Was it...

Yeah, I think I'll have to go with Goldfinger.

-OK, we're going to go with Goldfinger?

-Yeah.

OK, let's confirm Goldfinger. Was that the right answer?

No.

It's not Goldfinger.

The answer we were looking for was...

Oh, right.

OK, here's question number two.

Which breed of dog has won the most Best In Show titles at Crufts?

Is it...

My favourite dog on that list,

and I've just got to go with that, is the cocker spaniel.

OK, we're going to go with your fave. English cocker spaniel.

Let's lock that one in.

Is it right?

-Yes!

-Yes, it was!

-Carl, we're off the mark.

-Perfect.

You have one question right,

which means you have one celebrity in the showdown.

Two more chances, here's the next one.

Who was the first-ever winner of The Great British Bake-Off?

Was it...

Erm...

I want to go John, top one. John Whaite.

OK, let's confirm John Whaite.

Was it right?

It's not John.

It wasn't John Whaite, the right answer was...

Don't say Edd. Ugh!

So, we have one last chance for you to get a question right,

to pick a celebrity and increase your chances.

Here it is.

Which of these Prime Ministers is the only one to win

an overall majority at a general election?

Is it...

I think, for some reason, Tony Blair.

Yeah, I'll go with Tony Blair.

OK, let's confirm that.

You said Tony Blair. Was it right?

Yes, it was right, well done, Carl.

OK!

So, two questions answered correctly, very well done,

which means that you have two celebrities to choose

in the final showdown. Here are the five.

-OK. I've got to go with Michael and Michelle.

-OK.

We only need one of them to cross the finish line first

to get you that incredible prize.

Going to the Open Championship golf.

-That would be amazing.

-Are you ready, buddy?

-I am.

-OK.

-Let's see how they do.

-Here we go.

The final race, the showdown, and they're all back.

Una, ready to rock.

Michael, ready to roll.

Penny, ready to rumble.

Mike, ready and waiting.

And Michelle, just about ready for bed.

-HOOTER

-And they're off!

Here we go, then.

Well, it's Penny, in green, who makes the strongest start.

And she's first to hit the water, followed by Una, in blue.

And that could cost them, unfortunately.

Michael, in orange, has held on very nicely,

he's made it nearly all the way to the bank.

And he's given himself a convincing lead here.

But Mike and Michelle are not far behind.

Michael's out of the water.

He's over the log.

Now he's got to get down that slide.

Well, off he goes,

Michael Vaughan's not put a foot wrong in this race.

Oh! But as I say that, the net snags him and he's down.

Penny, in green, powering through the water.

Here comes Mike, and purple, on Michael's tail.

Can Mike catch him here, actually?

And there's Michelle, popping over the crest of the hill.

She's sliding. Mike's ploughing through that water

like it's got sharks in it. And it might actually

have sharks in it, we haven't checked properly.

Penny and Una bringing up the rear here,

too absolute naturals, just not necessarily at this.

Sliding down they go, and Michael is up!

Michael's up and so is Mike.

Does Michael have anything left here?

Well, the answer to that is, yes, he does.

Michael is in first place.

The England captain celebrates. Mike's in second,

he's absolutely cock-a-hoop.

Michelle, is she going to get up there?

Yes, she is, she's in third.

Here comes Una, well, she's lost a shoe.

The Cinderella of the showdown.

Oh, and Penny's gone.

Well, we've all dropped a penny down the back of the couch

but this Penny's dropped down the front of the ramp.

Oh, dear. Now, can she recover and get up there?

Can Una make it up there?

No! This is proving very difficult.

Exhausted limbs, desperately trying to get up there.

And Una gets a helping hand for fourth place.

I think the judges might have to have a little cheeky look at that

at the end of the run.

And now it's Penny's turn to be dragged

in a slightly undignified manner, it has to be said,

across the finish line.

But it doesn't matter who came last, Michael Vaughan came first.

APPLAUSE

What a way to finish the show!

And, ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a winner.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Carl.

Thank you very much.

It was Michael Vaughan who got over the line first.

He's going to Carnoustie to watch the golf, everyone!

Let's hear it one more time for Carl, everyone!

APPLAUSE

And a huge thank you to all of our celebrities for giving up

their time and sometimes their self-respect, all for charity.

Sport Relief really needs your donations, so please remember

to keep on texting. All the details are on your screen now,

so dig deep, because every single donation really can change a life.

Well, that is it, the end of tonight's show.

Join us next week, when five more contestants

will be pinning their hopes on five brand-new celebrities.

That is it for now. And we're off!

APPLAUSE