Oswestry 17 Bargain Hunt

Eight hundred years ago, two Saxon kings fought over this land.

Today, the Reds and the Blues will do battle for the ultimate daytime prize -

a spot of cash.

Let's go Bargain Hunting! Yeah!

Today, we're up north, in Oswestry.

I've got a team of paranormal investigators

and a team of waitresses.

So that's lunch sorted out, isn't it?

Let's have a quick look at what's coming up, shall we?

Philip Serrell and his ladies in red fall into a love-hate relationship.

Ooh... Why do I always get the nutters? Why?

David Harper is not quite hitting the spot with his Blue team.

-At least we know what we don't want.

-Yeah, exactly.

But who will come up smelling of roses at the auction?

And later on, I've got a date with a doll.

Lucky old me!

That's all to come. But come on, first let's meet the teams.

Today, we have two sets of friends.

For the Reds, we've got Migs and Jenny, and for the Blues we've got Sophie and Jez. Welcome.

-Hello!

-Hi.

Now, you're both members of a paranormal investigation society.

-Yes, we are.

-Is it enough to make your hair stand on end?

-It can be!

-Yeah!

-Tell us about it.

-Well, we generally go to places where people report

they've got disturbances - pubs, hotels, private houses sometimes.

-Yes.

-And we investigate to see if they are paranormal.

-Right. You're the chairman.

-I am, yes.

-Yes. And this is your assistant.

Yes. This is one of my many investigators.

-So you're waiting for something spooky to happen?

-Yeah.

Jenny, you're a fan of Bargain Hunt. Tell us about that.

I've been since it first started many, many years ago.

What's your favourite bit?

Just going, "You're not going to make a profit."

It's easy when you're an armchair critic, isn't it?

-It's easy to say...

-Well, you're going to find out today, darling, all about it. Good luck.

Now for the Blues. So, how long have you two girls known each other?

-We've been friends since we started secondary school, so twenty years now?

-Oh, lovely!

-Yeah.

-And you work together.

-We do.

We work in a local restaurant.

-Is it a popular place?

-It is, yeah.

I bet they all come in to see the waitresses.

They do! We get some regulars, yeah.

-Well, there you are.

-Sophie's got a little way of remembering these people that come in.

What's your way of remembering?

-By what they order!

-Oh, do you?

So I've got Mr and Mrs Fish And Chips and Mr and Mrs Minted Lamb!

Cos that's what they always have.

Always have, yeah.

How do you think you're both going to get on today? Any good?

-I think we're going to do well.

-Yeah?

You're going to absolutely hammer the Reds?

-I think so.

-Is that what you're going to do? I'm sure.

These paranormalists here are looking quite keen.

Anyway, very good luck to you all.

Now the money moment.

There's your £300. £300. You know the rules.

Your experts await. And off you go!

Very, very, very good luck.

I think we're in for a wizard today, don't you? What?

Squaring up for the fight ahead are the experts.

Remember, each team has one hour to buy three items with £300,

and the winners make the most or lose the least at auction.

Got a plan, girls?

-Shiny things.

-Shiny things!

You've got the wrong bloke for shiny things!

You two just seem petrified to me.

-Excited!

-Are you? OK, well, we've got one hour, and it starts now.

I'll give you a bit of advice, right?

This'll be the quickest hour of your life. It's a lottery.

Go for broke, buy what you like.

And if you want to do well, take no notice of anything that I've got to say.

OK!

That's a promising start, Phil...

I'm sure the Blue team have faith in David.

What I like about those, they look like they're eighteenth-century coloured Delftware, Dutch pieces,

but they're much more modern.

I prefer something a bit plainer, I think.

That's a bit too flowery.

-OK. So we're looking for something more refined, sophisticated?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-More appealing.

Oh, right. So really, a bit of a bad start on my behalf, then.

-At least we know what we don't want.

-Yeah, exactly.

Onwards and upwards, David.

That's a lazy Susie, girls.

Sits on the middle of the table, and you'd put food, whatever, on it.

That's really quite nice. OK?

My heart's not in it, so I'm not sure.

This is going to be a hard old day!

What about that pair of vases? Now, you see, I'm drawn in to certain things.

I quite like those, actually, yeah.

I quite like them. They're not ancient, but there's a pair of.

-Can we have a better look?

-They're probably Italian. Let's see.

-What are they?

-They'll be Murano, I think.

-So they'll be Italian, Venetian glass...

-What's the price?

-..Vases.

-£20.

Cheap enough. Twenty quid for glass?

-Fifteen?

-Oh, gosh, please!

I love negotiating!

-But...

-Go for it. Are they OK?

Let's have a look. No handles off.

-This one seems OK.

-I think they're bonny, decorative items.

There's nothing wrong with them. I don't think anyone could say that you've made a huge mistake.

Hi there. What would trade price be on these?

You've got £2 on them.

-18! 18.

-15, I think.

No, I think they're worth 18.

-Victorian?

-They've certainly got a Victorian shape.

Dating glass is almost impossible.

I'll take 17, that's the very best.

They're definitely a bargain.

I'm not a fan of odd numbers. 16.

I'm a fan of odd numbers!

We'll go 15, then, if you like.

But these two are an odd pair.

15's quite a round number.

I think 17's better.

I'm happy, if you want to go with them.

17? Yeah?

And I'm happy, cos we've only been going three minutes.

-That's good.

-Suits me! Is it a done deal?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-Shake his hand.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thanks a lot. Cheers.

Thank you!

Not bad, not bad.

One down for the Blues.

I quite like these spoons.

At auction those aren't going to make that money.

OK. I'll sell you one so you can make a profit.

They're both Dutch, and they're both hallmarked. And they are silver.

But if you're interested, I'd give you a chance for them.

Do you like those?

-I do like them, but I'll have a think.

-All right.

We'll come and see you in a bit. Thank you.

Back outside, the Blues are proving tricky customers.

-Not getting you, is it?

-No. I don't like anything with a foot on the end, I'm afraid.

-Well, yeah. Is it getting you? Is it doing anything for you?

-Not really.

OK. It's not doing anything for them.

They're very difficult people. You're not excited, are you?

-I'm not thrilled.

-No.

-OK.

-What DO you like?

Thank you! That was going to be my next question!

What thrills you?

Mm! Not a lot, methinks.

Meanwhile, Phil has found something that makes rather a lot of noise.

-Do you like that?

-I do, actually! It's quirky.

It's something different.

-Yeah, well...

-I'm interested in that, and somebody else would be, as well.

I love it. And it looks like a football rattle, doesn't it?

But it's not, it's a bird scarer.

It's not.

Is it not a bird scarer?

It wouldn't have that turned knob there, which is used for...

This is a learning curve for all of us.

LOUD CLICKING

So a nightwatchman's rattle or even a policeman's rattle.

Is it to scare people off?

-Yeah.

-I really like that.

It's so well-turned, so it's not a football rattle or even a bird scarer.

A lot of them were bird scarers.

Oh, yeah. It's the same principle, yes.

It's £49, and I think at auction it's 30 quid's worth.

I think it could be worth a lot more than that.

Ah, but you're selling it!

I am selling it. I do have to make a profit.

This is going to be interesting.

If you make a loss, you have a giggle.

If we make a loss, we cry.

Anybody got a handkerchief?

£39 to you.

36 and we'll deal.

-OK.

-Thank you ever so much. Thank you very much.

That's wonderful.

So, the bird scarer...football rattle...nightwatchman's rattle...

is the Red team's first item,

and it hits their shopping trolley in a nice and comfortable 17 minutes.

Meanwhile, the Blue team are looking for some real quality goods.

-I like this.

-Let's have a quick look at it.

-It's all matching.

-Yeah. OK.

That's not the best

-sign in the world.

-Right.

-That's foreign.

Excellent!

Made in foreign.

But what's this?

Phil's got his eye on something.

-Could we have a look at that little nut, please.

-Yes, of course you can.

They normally always split,

because they're turned. This is probably about 1890, 1910.

Because they're circular, they split.

You can see that there's a little bit of a split beginning just there.

They're just primitive things, almost like touristy things.

You might have put a little sponge in here,

or you might have put flowers, like potpourri.

And with these holes, the smell would have come out.

-I really like this.

-And how much is that, sir?

-22.

Is that the absolute finito, finito, finito?

20 is the finito.

I'm going to unleash them on you in a minute.

And I tell you, you'll need that savage dog down there to look after you.

I think at auction it's £15 to £25 worth. That's what I think.

If you want to make a profit on it, you've got to buy it at 15 quid.

But as this gentleman also wants to make a profit and he wants 20 quid,

-we have a sort of impasse here, don't we?

-We do.

-Yeah.

-If you really like it...

-I do like it.

-..then if you want it...

Smile nicely at him.

Another pound is the very, very best I can do, it really is.

19 is really my bottom line.

-Just because I'm feeling cheeky, can I say £18.50?

-No, you can't.

-Well, you can SAY it...

-19.

-It is up to you.

-I like it.

-If you want,

-go for it.

-It feels good. It feels good.

OK.

Yeah, £19. Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-Thanks.

Second quirky buy from the Reds.

How does Phil think they're doing?

I think you've done really well so far, and the danger now is that we're going to completely chill,

lose focus and end up buying something stupid for 120 quid.

-Let's go down here.

-Down here?

Not one of the last big spenders, our Phil. Oh, no.

But why not spend a little time with me?

You have come to an antique fair,

and you've only got one of these with you.

It's a £5 note.

What are you going to find, and how much fun are you going to have?

Well, I promise you there's lots of fun to be had in a fair like this with a £5 note.

For example, today I've come across old crab face here.

What do you think about him?

This thing was probably made in France or Germany between the wars,

1920 to 1930,

and I bet you it was bought by a tourist

who'd sat in a seaside caff

and had thoroughly enjoyed a dressed, cooked crab.

Yummy! Old crab face's head comes off, revealing a porcelain interior.

You could fill it with relish, and it would give endless entertainment.

Today, crab face could be yours for £2. That's not much, is it?

So, what else did I find?

Well, take a gander at this.

See that? A gorgeous string of beads.

They too are made of porcelain, but somebody has cunningly covered

each of the beads in a different iridescent glaze.

Just look at these colours.

Here we've got a mottled tortoiseshelly one, look.

And here a jade-looking bead.

This one looks like a bit of amethyst.

And I love the Yves Klein blue-mottled one.

Don't you? Almost the same colour as this Yves Klein blue table.

Absolutely delicious.

Who has treated the otherwise plain, white, boring, oval beads in this way?

Well, it could be done by the 1930s factory Ruskin, outside Birmingham,

or Pilkington's, another factory a few years earlier outside Manchester,

because both of those factories-produced pieces

with these mottled, iridescent glazes, kind of down-time-type production,

when they weren't throwing pots.

But what did it cost?

Actually, it cost me £1.50.

So I've even got £1.50 change out of my fiver,

I've got two delightful objects, I've had a thoroughly entertaining morning,

I'm going home with something that's not only intriguing but also of value and is useful.

Where else can you do that?

The answer?

A Bargain Hunt fair.

# Spend a little time with me. #

Are these searchlights?

Are they aircraft lights?

I wasn't around in the Second World War.

I wasn't insinuating you were.

I just wondered if you'd come across similar things.

Thank you so much.

Gordon Bennett, you two have got the attention span of a gnat between you, haven't you?

Listen, listen. Whoa.

What's funny about that?

Why do I always get the nutters? Why?

Well, at least they look vaguely excited.

OK, let's just have a quick catch-up, then.

How many items have we bought?

-One.

-One!

-We were doing so well.

-I know!

But is it going to end badly?

What do you think about that?

Oh, I quite like that, actually.

-Hooray!

-It's soapstone.

-Yeah. I was going to say it's stone.

-It's African. It's Zimbabwean.

It's been mounted on something.

It's quite modern, but this African art is actually quite traditional but still feels very modern.

Oh, it's got a plaque on.

"Mother nursing sick child.

"F Madamombe, Zimbabwe, 1987."

Yeah, so there you go. I spent some of my childhood in Zimbabwe,

and so I know this work, and it's from the Mashona tribe in the northern part of Zimbabwe, mainly.

And it's very collectable. Now, I don't know whether this person

is a particularly well-known artist, and it makes a big difference.

Some of the artists can make a lot of money,

but we've got literally 18 minutes to decipher whether this is a particularly well-known artist.

-What's the trade price on the Zimbabwean stone?

-The very, very best is 140.

I mean, I don't know. I'm a bit confused with this one because I would have that for myself.

I think for the amount of money,

and not to be sure whether it's the right artist, to pay that kind of money for...

If it was right, it could be worth thousands.

-I think... I like it.

-It's a real punt.

I tell you what, can we just stand her up to make sure?

It'll be very heavy, yeah.

I see soapstone is a soft stone, yeah? So it is easily...

-Oh, this is her hair.

-Yeah.

-Fabulous.

-I love her.

-I think she's fantastic.

-I really like her, actually.

-Can she be £100?

-No, sir. Honestly, it's 140.

It's an interesting thing.

-But, Jez, you like it.

-I do like it.

-And I like it.

It's really, really different.

-We could go for...

-..a chance.

We could take a risk. We should go for it.

The auction might put a bit of research in.

If we can find the artist as a known artist, then it might have a chance.

-I utterly adore it.

-We all like it.

-Yep. Excellent.

-We'll have it. Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Allo, allo.

-Oh, hello.

-Hello.

-Have you just bought it?

-Yes.

-Zimbabwe.

-Zimbabwe. You recognise it, too.

Well, I do, really, because I went to Chelsea Flower Show this year

and they'd got a whole stand of this Zimbabwean soft-ish but coloured stone carving.

It looked fantastic.

It's wonderful. I love it too.

-And that at Chelsea would cost you £1,200.

-Absolutely right.

And what did you just pay for it?

-15,000.

-You never did!

Well, you're a wally, then, aren't you?

-No, come on. How much did you pay for it?

-140.

-How much?

-140.

-Oh! Mother and baby - what's more evocative...?

-I know, I know!

-Don't you want to own it?

-I do want to own it. Well, we do own it!

Well, good on you, girls.

-Thank you.

-They've done well.

They haven't finished. They've got one more to go.

-Good luck with that.

-Thanks.

So, finally, the Blues are really getting into the swing of things,

and with 10 minutes to go, Migs is taking charge of the Reds.

Look out.

-I'm drawn back to the spoons.

-What spoons? Oh, right.

The Dutch spoons, yeah. They haven't gone away.

But the spoons might be a good shout, if you like them.

And we are definitely running out of time.

The Blues haven't moved far.

They're at the same store, eyeing up a silver chain purse for £120.

It's chainmail silver, too.

This is interesting because this is a different hallmark.

It's a foreign piece.

I'm not a purse kind of guy but I think that...

-It's quite stylish, isn't it?

-..is a stunner. Have a feel of that.

You'd only want to put notes in, wouldn't you?

Someone would buy that to use it.

Can you imagine going to a special event somewhere and it's good enough and it's good quality enough,

and the condition is there, that you could actually use it.

-It's quite nice, yeah.

-I think that's pretty drop-dead gorgeous.

-And it's different.

-What's the best on that one?

-125.

-125.

-I'm sure it's gone up a fiver!

-It has!

-120, then.

-I tell you, you are good.

-Shall we have it the other way - 115?

-I think it's up to you, but I rate it.

-Yeah.

-What do you think?

-Have a feel.

It's really heavy, isn't it?

It is. It's lovely.

-Yeah.

-And you've got eight minutes.

-How much did you say, 110?

-I think we should... Oh. I like it.

How about 113, because I've got three change?

-115.

-115. That's another £5.

-I think give him 115.

-All right.

-You've done well.

-Thank you.

-I really do.

Sophie emerges as a hard-nosed negotiator in the dying minutes.

Can Migs do the same with her spoon?

-Let's talk.

-OK, let's.

£40.

Look at her face. How can you refuse that face?

That's a hell of a discount.

-I think 45 would be a pretty good price.

-42.

42, we got a deal.

-42.

-42. Thank you very much indeed.

-Thank you.

-Can I just ask you a question?

-Yes.

-Because I think that was...

This is a good bit of dealing technology here.

-Because you'd have taken 35 quid for that, or 40, would you?

-No.

-But you'd have come down a bit more than 42?

-No, seriously.

I know you're helping them and for that we are genuinely grateful but...

I think...

Steady!

I think they did well, don't you?

£69 down to £42.

And their last item is in the bag.

OK, the hour is up.

Time for me to find the teams and see how much leftover lolly there is,

because, of course, the experts have still to go and bag the bonus buy.

Let's check out first what the Red team bought, eh?

£36 was paid for the night watchman's rattle.

The nuts pomander, a rather cute £19.

And they went Dutch on the silver spoon, for 42.

This is very matey, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Have you had a good time?

We have. We've found lots of interesting things.

-Lots of interesting things, but you've spent a pathetic amount.

-I know.

Really pathetic. How pathetic was it?

We're careful shoppers. We spent £97.

97? I gave you £300 to spend and you only spent £97.

-We couldn't find anything we liked that was interesting.

-Really?

-Mm-hm.

Well, OK, fine. £97, then.

I'll have 203 quid off you.

-Oh, if you must.

-£203.

Well, you've obviously had a peach of a morning, Serrell.

-They've been good fun and I'm going to go and blitz this.

-You're going to blitz the lot.

-That means spend it.

-I don't know what on, but it's going to go.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-All right, fine. Well, very, very good luck.

Tell you what, why don't we remind ourselves what the Blues bought, eh?

The glass vases were a plum pair at £17.

They splashed out £140 on the Zimbabwean carving.

And the silver chain mail handbag cost a pretty penny. Actually, £115.

Look at the grins on their faces!

I've never seen two happier people

and their expert doesn't look too bad, either.

We've had a whale of a time.

These two have been brilliant and we've bought three fabulous things.

-£272, better than all this £50, £90 lark.

-I do agree.

272. Would that be £28 of leftover lolly, then?

-Yes.

-Who's got it?

-Me.

-You've got it, Soph?

OK, come on, darling, let's have your £28.

Which is a bit of a challenge for old Harper, really, because...

you know, it's very nice, £28,

but you're not going to find anything stellar with that.

-I think I've got a good chance.

-Well, nobody better to have a go

than you, Harper, very good luck for that.

Anyway, good luck, girls, because we're heading off somewhere really, really interesting.

Boy, have I got a hidden gem for you today!

In a Wolverhampton suburb.

This is Bantock House Museum, a lovingly restored Georgian house.

These days, it's home to a treasure trove of objects

that enthusiastic collectors have donated over the years.

Daisy St Claire Mander, in about 1952,

left the museum her collection of dolls,

some 300-strong,

and I've made a perfectly arbitrary selection

of just four to share with you today.

Now, I make the oldest one the fellow on the far side.

She's got one of those faces that says, "Look deep into my eyes."

Slightly spooky. Some would say she's not an oil painting.

Actually, she IS an oil painting.

Her face is painted in oil paints, on a simple, shaped plug of wood,

probably carved by a loving parent with his penknife

and painted up, in about 1720.

That hair on that doll is real human hair,

that's been entwined and woven into kiss curls

on either side of her head,

and probably put on 100 years after the original wooden head was carved.

Scroll forward 100 years to about 1820,

and dolls had become rather more sophisticated.

This girl has got a wooden head again,

this time with no real hair, just a rather fetching painted hairdo.

Interesting that she's got pierced ears,

so that you could play with toy earrings and dress her up.

But the feature I really like is her articulated body.

Fun, isn't it?

HE MAKES SQUEAKING NOISES

The next major improvement for dolls we see in ol' wax face here.

She's got glass eyes, indeed lovely blue glass eyes, inset into the wax.

She would date from around 1840 or so,

and what would have intrigued any child with a doll like this

is the fact that she's got wax feet.

There are her sweet little toe-toes.

So realistic, you can almost...

-HE SNIFFS

-..smell them.

But the ultimate in sophisticated 19th century dolls

has to be this girl.

This is a bisque-headed doll, a form of porcelain that's unglazed.

The maker is Armand Marseilles.

These dolls all have mould numbers

impressed in the back of their necks,

which is what makes them so interesting to collectors.

Each of the mould numbers relates to a style of head,

and this girl's got an open mouth with several teeth,

rather starey black eyes,

and incredibly healthy, pudgy, florid cheeks.

The big question today is, of course,

is it going to be child's play for our teams over at the auction,

or will they just be a lot of cry babies,

crying out for their mummies and daddies?

Well, we've trotted up the M6, vaguely, from Oswestry to Knutsford,

where we find ourselves in Knutsford's fine art auctioneers,

Frank R Marshall, with Nick Hall.

-Nick.

-Welcome, Tim.

-Very nice to see you.

-You too.

Now, the Red team, their first item is this so-called pigeon scarer.

Is it a pigeon scarer, or a night watchman's rattle?

So many different names. All the same thing, really.

We've gone for a bird-scarer.

Nice thing. And it's old and it's genuine.

-Yeah, good old Victorian one.

-How much?

-40 to 60.

-£36 paid.

-Good.

Next is the coquilla nut pomander.

How old do you think that is, Nick?

-About a week yesterday.

-Really?

-Yeah, it's a modern tourist piece.

It's well made, it's decorative, but no age to it.

It could easily have been made of plastic but actually it is nut.

-Ah, it's a proper nut.

-What's it worth?

Er, £20 or so.

OK, £19 paid.

There could be a pound's profit in that. How exciting is that?

And lastly, then, is this Dutch spoon.

Yeah, nice bit of export-ware.

-Which is chunky.

-Mm, decorative.

I don't know what the mythology is with these long-beaked

crane-like birds, do you?

I suspect it's that Japaneseque influence

that we see in some of these earlier silver bits.

Yeah, could be, couldn't it?

-What's your estimate on it?

-40-60.

OK, £42 paid.

I think this team have got it just about spot-on.

I don't think they will even need their bonus buy

but just in case, let's go and have a look at it.

Well, this is jolly, isn't it?

Now listen, you girls, you spent £97, right?

One of the most uniquely miserable amounts of money you could have spent.

We gave you 300 notes and you spent 97.

Which means you had £203, P Serrell, to blow on the bonus buy.

-What did you blow it on?

-Well, I spent £180 and...

It's gone!

-Where is it?

-Well, that's a little one, isn't it?

Stop mucking about now. Come along, Philip.

Settle down, dearie. What did you buy?

-This.

-We're sitting on it.

-I knew it, actually!

-You knew it?

-How did you know it?

-No, I like this.

-Two happy-looking ladies. Is it comfortable?

-It is lovely.

-Do you like it?

-I do.

How are you girls with leather?

-Experts.

-Are you?

It's not old. It's meant to look like...what, 1920s?

Yeah. It's clever, isn't it? If this thing is brand Harry spankers,

how do you get this clapped-out leather look,

which looks as if it's been in a gentlemen's club for 50 years,

-which is the look that you want, isn't it?

-Yes, and it cost £180

and I think it's a really cool thing. I think it's a good-looking thing.

And more importantly, I think that if you wanted to go

and replace this, it would cost you a minimum of £300 to £500.

-Well, at least.

-I would be surprised if it didn't show you a profit.

-So what do you think?

-We like it.

-You like it?

-What do you think, Jens?

-Yeah, I like it. You couldn't get one cheaper.

Anyway, for the audience at home, let's find out

what the auctioneer thinks about Philip Serrell's settee.

Well, Nick, you're sitting on it.

-Very comfortable, isn't it?

-Not bad.

-Yeah, it's all right.

When was this thing made, do you reckon?

-Oh, it's brand-new.

-Is it?

-No age at all.

Just a nice-quality bit of leather.

This looks as if it's got a bit of age to it.

Yes, it's sort of artificially aged, and that shabby-chic look, hasn't it?

So, found by Mr Serrell for £180, and he really rates this, right?

Brand-new. How's it going to do in the auction?

Trouble is, of course, it's a nice bit of modern home furnishing

sat in the middle of our antiques and collectors' sales!

It might be a struggle with the audience we've got today.

Right... So how much, then?

-I've put 100, 150 on it.

-100 to 150?

-Yeah.

He's going to be crying in his beer.

Of course, the teams may not go with it.

Anyway, thank you very much.

-OK, Tim.

-Let's check out what the Blues bought.

Soph and Jez are excited for the Blues,

their first item being this pair of multicoloured glass vases...

-Lucky them!

-...which I think are absolutely hideous.

Yeah, not my favourite lot in the sale, I'll be honest.

It's what we term "end of day" glass.

Yeah. Could be the end of the week, those.

At least they're not cracked or messed about with.

No, they're in good condition. Relatively decorative,

not expensive. They should get away.

-What do you call "not expensive"?

-I've put about £30 on them.

£30? Really? They only paid £17.

They'll be completely chuffed if you achieve that, Nick, I tell you!

Next is the Zimbabwean soapstone group, which, I have to say,

-I admired and coveted quite a lot in the fair.

-It's a good thing.

-It's a great lump, isn't it?

-There's a lot of artistry in these things.

It's part of a group of artwork we term "Shona art", from the tribe Shona.

-Mm-hm.

-This particular piece is by a chap called Fabian Madamombe.

He's part of the second generation of Shona artists, born in the Fifties,

and can do quite well at auction.

-So you've done research on this?

-I've done a history on that one.

-So, what do you think it's worth?

-Well, we've got a wide spread.

We've put 100 to 200 on it, it's a bit of a niche market,

but it should do well.

Well, they paid £140, actually.

-Hopefully, a profit in that.

-More or less spot-on.

Yeah. Sculpture's doing well at the minute.

Good. And lastly, and for something completely different,

how about a solid silver chain-mesh handbag?

-For those evenings in the Knutsford wine bars.

-Yes, absolutely!

-How do you rate this?

-Erm, £100, £150.

Silver's doing well.

-It's a decorative item, good order. Ought to do it.

-OK. £115 they paid.

And I think the important thing is that this bag doesn't seem to be snagged at all.

I mean, that mesh is quite delicate, and it is in remarkably good nick.

-Perfect condition, yeah.

-So according to your estimate, it's going to be just fab.

-We'll do our best.

-They too are not going to need their bonus buy, perhaps.

But let's go and have a look at it anyway, shall we?

OK, girls, £272 you've spent, which was a magnificent effort,

giving the old boy only £28 to spend.

So what did David Harper spend it on?

Right, OK, a rather handsome Roman gentleman.

He is Italian, and I think he's 19th century,

and it's a Grand Tour piece.

It's a bronze Roman bust mounted on a horn plinth.

Have a feel of him. A lovely thing, very unusual, nice weight.

-It is, actually.

-Definitely bronze, yeah.

-It's bronze.

-So, how old is it?

19th century.

-It's a big century, obviously!

-100 years!

-Very safe answer there.

-I think I've got away with it, don't you?

-They were impressed.

-How much?

Well, I only had £28, and I blew every last pound,

and it took me a very, very long time to get him for £28. That's all I had.

-What do you think, Jez? Is that something you'd buy?

-Yes. I do like it.

But it's a real antique, and it's a novelty thing, and it's quirky.

It's got to do £50, I think. My opinion, it should do £50 and more.

-We're standing by here, David, for your prediction.

-Thank you, Tim.

But now, for the audience at home, let's find out

what the auctioneer thinks about David's little bust.

Well, what do you make of that little sweetheart?

It's a sweet little thing, really, a nice bit of Grand Tour memorabilia.

Probably 19th century.

Whether the top and bottom started out life together, I'm not sure, but it sits well.

It's an odd mix, isn't it? That's a bit of horn there,

and then is that wood or another solid lump of horn on that little plinth?

-I think that's all horn, the base.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

And then this little bronze bust on top of a Roman emperor, I guess.

-Nice little thing.

-It's got the look.

OK, now, David Harper's cunning.

-Mm.

-What's your estimate on this?

-50 to 80.

-£28 he paid.

-He did well.

-He did well.

-Mm. A good eye.

-Thank you very much, Nick.

-You're welcome.

-So, got any worries about anything, Jens?

-No, nothing at all.

No? No particular item that you've bought giving you a problem, Migs?

-No.

-No? What about you, Phil?

I think they're going to do very well.

Well, this is exciting, isn't it? We're on the edge of the abyss.

-Here it comes, the rattle.

-Just settle down.

Lot number 40 is the Victorian stained-beech bird scarer.

I've got a bit of commission interest. Straight in at £20.

-Oh!

-Any advance?

£20 with me on commission.

At 20. 5. Book's out, madam. It's with you, seated.

30 behind you. 35, second row.

40, the gent.

You're in profit.

45 the bid's online. If you're all sure, selling at 45...

Lovely, £45 on the internet.

We like that. You're plus £9. That's a proper job.

Lot number 41 is the 20th century

subcontinent carved and pierced coquilla nut pomander.

A bit of work gone into it.

Where are we going to say? £20? £20. Someone surely will take the bid.

Some very interested parties in the far corner willing you on.

£20, someone, somewhere, surely.

Got to be worth that. 15?

Take a tenner, get the ball rolling.

Or get the nut rolling. 10, I'm bid. 15 seated.

Still in, sir? 15 seated.

I've got 20 in the front, madam in the second row. 25 behind you.

Anyone else coming in? At £25. Any advance? Are we all done?

You sure? At 25.

-And that is plus £6, yes?

-Monster profits!

Nothing the matter with a profit, is there?

Lot number 42 is the early 20th century Dutch export

white-metal souvenir spoon.

£20 to start. £20 anywhere?

Surely at £20. Nice bit of Dutch silverware. 20 bid online.

Thank you for the internet. £20. 5 anywhere? Anywhere else?

The bid's online. It's going. It's going at £20. I have to sell.

I cannot believe it. £20.

-You were unlucky.

-£20. You are minus £22 on that.

You were plus 15, so that means you're minus 7 overall.

-I am, as they say, without breath.

-Mm-hm.

But anyway, breathless or not, are you going to go with the bonus buy?

-Are you going to go with that leather sofa?

-Definitely.

We're definitely going with the bonus buy.

I can tell you now, the auctioneer's estimate is 100 to 150,

so he's not that optimistic.

The big question is, who's right?

And here it comes.

Lot number 46 is the good-quality

modern brown leather sofa in the Art Deco taste.

Commission interest.

I'm coming in at £100.

The bid's with me at £100. 110.

120 with me now. 120 bid.

130. 140. 150.

Bid's on the phone. The book's out.

It's 140, and you bid at 150. Thank you, sir. 150 in the room.

160. 170 in the room, sir.

With you at 170. At 170 now.

180. Phone bid at 180.

190. Back in the room at 190.

< Well done, Phil.

200 here. Phone bidder at £200.

210 with you, sir. 220.

230. £230, all done.

Last chance. Selling.

-GAVEL BANGS

-I love you!

Oh, wonderful!

Cor, blimey O'Riley!

£230. That is plus £50, which means overall you are, miraculously,

thanks to Philip, transported into plus 43.

£43. The big thing is, do not tell the Blues a thing, all right?

-Mum's the word, all right? Well done, Phil.

-Zipped.

Jez, you're looking a bit nervy, love.

Oh, I'm really nervous.

-Why are you really nervous?

-I don't know!

-I'll be all right in a minute.

-Soph, are you nervous?

-I'm excited!

-You're excited.

How excited are you on a scale of excitement out of one to ten?

-Trembling.

-Trembling? Oh, that's good.

We love trembling and really frightened.

The first lot up are the vases, and here they come.

62 is the pair of

late 19th century end-of-day multicoloured glass vases.

I am so excited!

I've got a bit of commission interest, as well.

I'm going to start straight in with me now at £25.

-Ooh!

-25, the bid's with me. £25.

Any advance? 30 I can take. 5. 40.

5 with me. Are you still bidding?

It's £45. The bid's with me. All done?

That's three to twenty.

I make that plus 28.

Plus 28, chickens!

Lot number 63, nice bit of stone carving, this, from the Shona tribe.

This particular piece is by Fabian Madamombe.

-Fabian Madamombe.

-Know him well.

I've got commission interest.

I'm going to start the bidding with me at £100.

Anyone else coming in? With me at £100. I'll take 110 now.

Any advance? 110. 120.

130. The book's out.

With you, sir, seated, at 130 now.

130, I'm selling.

He has sold it for £130.

I mean, I can't believe it. That's minus £10.

-Minus 10? Oh!

-It's minus £10.

-It's OK.

Lot number 64

is the George V imported sterling silver mesh lady's cocktail bag.

What are you going to say for this? £100 for it. 100 somewhere, surely.

100 for it. 80. 70.

Get the ball rolling at £50.

-Oh, no!

-£50?

Solid, hallmarked silver mesh evening purse.

Thank you, sir, 50 online. The bid's online at £50.

-Oh, no.

-The bid's online at £50.

It will be sold, make no mistake. All sure? Thank you, madam, 55. 60.

-Go on!

-In the room at £60. Still bidding here?

65. You all finished online?

It's in the room at 65. All done, if you're sure.

Minus 32.

Right? I mean, chin up, because that is not good luck, I tell you.

That silver bag, you'd melt that down for £100.

-And that's just the metal.

-Yeah.

So, what are you going to do about your little bust?

-Do you fancy going with the little bust?

-Definitely.

You're going to have a tickle with that? I don't blame you.

But on this current form, anything can happen.

Anyway, here comes your bust.

Lot 68 is the 19th century Grand Tour

bronze miniature bust of a Roman emperor.

50 for it. 40.

30. Surely someone at £30.

Thank you, sir. 30, I'm bid. 5 online.

40 now. With you, sir, at £40.

Any advance on £40? Are you bidding online?

45.

45 online. 50 with you, sir. Back in the room at £50.

5 online, sir? Can you squeeze another one?

55 against you. At £55.

£55 is, at least, £2 up from 30.

-That's plus £27.

-Brilliant.

Not half bad, matey. Well done. And that means overall you are minus £5.

-Oh!

-That is so close. This is the helter-skelter of life.

Now, minus £5 could be a winning score, so don't talk to the Reds, all right?

-Thank you.

-OK.

-So, teams, been chatting, have we?

-No.

-No?

Well, all I can say is that each team should be very, very grateful

that they've got such great experts

-who've done so incredibly well for them today!

-Oh!

It's all a question of scale, though, and I have to reveal

-that the runners-up today, unfortunately, are the Blues.

-Oh!

Your overall score is minus £5, and that just isn't good enough, girls,

just not good enough today.

But we've had a rip-roaring time. Have you enjoyed it?

-Absolutely.

-You look a bit gutted. Are you all right?

-Fine!

-They've been wonderful.

-I knew I'd lost.

Winning isn't everything, it's taking part, and you've been great.

But the victors today, by a long chalky,

because they're going to actually take home £43... Migs?

But before you go into congratulatory mode,

-I have to tell you that £50 profit came from our Phil today.

-It did.

I mean, £50 off that old leather sofa,

that was a considerable achievement.

So, we've been everywhere, all round the houses,

but ultimately, you've come up trumps.

-Thanks to our hero.

-Yeah, he is our hero, isn't he?

I mean, not everybody would make the Bargain Hunt team

lug a two-seater solid leather settee

-halfway across the north-west of England!

-Three counties!

Three counties, and counting, to make a profit.

So if it hadn't made any money, you'd have been in trouble, Serrell.

I'm glad you've had a good time. Thank you very much, Phil. Congratulations.

-And join us soon for some more Bargain Hunting. Yes?

-Yes!

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