Newark 30 Bargain Hunt

Ha-ha! We're at the biggest fair in Europe.

Just as well I've got transport. Let's go bargain hunting!

With over 2,000 stalls for our teams to choose from,

they're going to be spoilt for choice.

How will they cope?

How indeed?

'Luckily, our teams have some expert guidance today.'

'Paul Laidlaw's being tactful with the Reds.'

-What about this?

-It's...

About as unfashionable as you're going to pick up today. I hope!

'And Jeremy Lamond's performing for the Blues.'

'So, let's meet the teams.'

Well, well, well, here we are.

Two teams of firm friends. Hello everybody. Now, Susan and David.

You've known each other for absolutely yonks, haven't you, Sue?

We have, yes. We first met at infant school

in the village where we lived on neighbouring farms.

-Right.

-And then joined up again in Young Farmers.

How do you keep up now, then?

-My job is as a milk recorder.

-What's that mean?

Well, I go to nine dairy farms in the area where I live

and one of the farms I visit is where David milks.

How long has he been in this business?

I've been milking cows since I was 10, so well over 45 years now.

-And how many cows do you milk, David?

-180.

-180 lactations?

Because it's quite complicated.

You're doing the nine or ten farms and there's 180 in all of them?

The majority of them. There's no more small farms left.

So, 1,500 of these girls, all milking as hard as they can.

And they do not go to finishing school, the young ladies.

No, quite. So to day's going to be a walk in the park, isn't it?

What are your tactics, you two?

We're not going to spend a lot of money on one particular item.

-No, we're not, we're farmers!

-Very tight!

Very tight!

-You know why farmers are mainly bald?

-Why's that?

Because when they're told the price of something they go, "How much?!"

It's true!

-Very, very, very good luck.

-Thank you.

Now, for the Blues, our wee girls, who must be

quaking in your boots, having heard all this chat from the Reds, right?

-I mean, it's quite frightening, with these two in full flight.

-Yes!

Kelly? How did you two meet?

We met when we were 11 at secondary school.

We've just been friends ever since,

we've had lots of girly holidays, lots of drunken nights out

and on another night out, we both met our husbands, on the same night.

What happened with these boys, then? They spotted you?

I don't know. I think it was about ten to two

and there was a bit of desperation setting in at the end of the night!

Kelly went to the toilet and Matthew, Kelly's husband now,

came over and said, when your friend comes back,

will you ask her if she will dance with me?

This, at ten to two?

It was quite late. So he didn't have to buy any drinks!

So, she ended up dancing with Matthew, and I ended up

dancing with his friend, and they were actually ex-brother-in-laws.

What an extraordinary thing.

Two ex-brother-in-laws pick up two chicks in some clubs somewhere,

-and finish up by marrying them?

-Yep.

-Amazing.

So, which of you two is going to be in charge of the bargaining today?

Well, we're both quite tight, but Kelly's tighter than I am.

She's taken after her husband. That's a shocker!

Well, anyway, I'm not tight, because here comes £300. Look at this.

Look at this, lighting up of faces, £300.

You know the rules, your experts await, and off you go!

And very, very good luck. I hope they're not going to be too tight.

'Tight or not, it's the farmers versus the West Country girls,

and they're off!

-Guess who's got the compass!

-We'll certainly need one, it's huge!

I've got the Sat Nav, is that any good?

Anything in mind?

Anything a bit quirky, really, a bit different.

Well, you've got me, so... that's a good start.

'You said it, Jeremy!'

You see these quirky-looking vases? What do you think of those?

Ugh, I don't really like them.

They're different!

Or that sort of flying-saucer-shaped glass dish,

probably by a factory like Vasart or Monart, it's Scottish.

The Ysart Brothers made this sort of thing.

And what you want to check for, especially with glass,

is that it's not chipped or cracked.

So if we give it a quick ding, it sounds like a bell, doesn't it?

How old do you think it is?

It could be 1930s, '40s.

There's a little bit of a mark on there,

is that going to affect the value?

-Somebody's been painting.

-Or, is it glass?

No, it's a bit of a firing flaw.

Makes it a bit more unique, I suppose.

Yeah, but it's unusual, isn't it? I think that's worth a go.

But it's your day, ladies.

I like the colour as well.

It's interesting, isn't it? So, shall we go and negotiate?

Yeah! If we get it at a good price, yeah.

-Oh, hiya, what's the best price you can do on this?

-25, that one.

Is there any way you could do 20?

I can't do 20, I'm sorry.

-What about 23?

-24?

-Yeah?

-24?

-Brilliant, yeah!

Thanks very much. I'll put some paper around it.

'Cor, you don't waste any time, girls!'

'Sue and David, are you having as much success?'

It smacks of old fashioned. It's not odd.

What about this?

Ah, it's...

About as unfashionable as you're going to pick up today,

I hope!

-Does it have wow factor?

-No.

-Why are you looking at it?

What are we doing here?

'Bargain-hunting, I hope!'

'Come on, Reds, get with the programme!'

-For those, it must be in great condition.

-I don't like it.

I know you didn't, because when I said about it,

I could see your face.

Maybe something we can come back to.

-Yeah!

-Let's do the blue bowl.

-No, no, no.

-No go?

-That's unusual, isn't it?

-Yeah, it is unusual.

Quite a rare thing, £70 on it.

That's really weird, isn't it?

A little wind-up, there.

That's fantastic. It's quirky, isn't it?

-Is it a bit damaged?

-There's a little bit of the leg's been renewed.

Reflected in the price, really.

It's lithograph tinplate, isn't it?

-I'm not sure exactly what it is.

-Does it say underneath? 1895.

-What do you think?

-I think it's worth having a go at.

It's got some slight damage - will that affect the value?

I think, to some collectors, it will do.

-There are collectors of that kind of thing, aren't there?

-Yes.

I will take a vote on that, because it is so unusual.

We can do it for 60, if you like it.

-Can you do it for 50, or is that...?

-Because it's a bit damaged.

-I can do 55, meet in the middle.

-Yeah, all right then.

Happy with that, thank you. Cheers.

'Wow! Two already!'

Now, David, have you finally found something to tempt Paul?

What you seeing, Dave?

Do you know anything about that?

I know we're back where we started.

Victorian pots!

'That will be a "no", then!'

We could pick up Victorian china till we're sunburnt to a frazzle

and we'll not find anything worth selling.

If I'm being honest, I think they're picking up the wrong material.

It's pieces they like, and that's fair enough,

but they're unsaleable at auction.

I've got to steer them, I suspect, towards things they don't like.

And that may be a problem.

The programme's not called Buy Something You Like And Lose Money,

it's called Bargain Hunt!

Argh!

'You said it!'

'Time for a team talk, I'd say.'

We need to focus here. I think the china, we've got to start ignoring.

Different. Out of the box. Something that grabs you.

Not something you'd like on the mantelpiece, something that, "wow!"

OK, so, 12 minutes, two lots, we've got one more to get

and we're squeezed into a 48-minute time window.

'Nobody likes a braggart, Jeremy!'

'You have been pretty snappy, though!'

'And look, I found something pretty snappy, too.'

Have you had your lunch?

I do hope so, because I don't want this to upset you.

What do you think about him? How spooky is that?

It's a type of crocodile called a garvial.

G-A-R-V-I-A-L.

Spelled a variety of ways, but a type of crocodile

that's typically found in India, and this is a fellow who likes

to swim around, in deep rivers, because he's a fish eater.

He flips around very efficiently and digs up lots of fish.

And my theory with this is,

that some British administrator in India, round about 1880-1900,

nabbed this as a trophy,

because it's been most expertly mounted by a taxidermist.

We've got a panel of pine here at the back

that provides the support for the skin

that the taxidermist has overlaid on the top,

and then, the taxidermist has done the amusing thing

of taking a couple of his child's marbles -

this is the bit where you need to have had your lunch -

and he's stuffed the marble inside the skin

to give this protuberant eye, which is what the species actually has.

And what I like about this particular example,

the quality of the mount itself and the fact,

as a furnishing piece, you can see it in some baronial hall.

If we put it there, as if it was mounted on a wall,

you get to see the scale of this extraordinary snout

to anybody who's walking by underneath.

What's this handsome piece of taxidermy worth?

Well, the dealer wants £100 for it.

Seems to me it's a bit of a snip!

Snap!

# But the biggest kick I ever got, was doing a thing... #

-Shall we press on?

-Yep.

# While the other kids were rocking round the clock

# We were hoppin' and boppin' to the crocodile rock, well... #

What do you think about the accordion - is that a collector's?

I can't judge it as an instrument.

We are perfectly at liberty to embarrass ourselves

by picking it up and squeezing it,

but if said, can you sell that?

I'd say, yes. What's it going to make? Possibly £80.

-I quite like that...

-Then ask the question!

Excuse me, how much is the accordion?

The accordion is 65.

Is in good working order?

The irony is that I haven't, I've had a go at it,

but all the notes work, and all the buttons work.

There we go.

Oh, you've done this before!

I've played the piano, but that's usually down here!

I don't pick a piano up and play it like this.

What did you say the price was?

I'll only go what I always get for them which is 50 quid.

Yeah, I think you would. Italian, German, I don't know.

They live in attics, they get damp and they start to peel.

Now, there has been moisture and a wee bit of oxidation to the plating there

but the good news is, it's all there and none of that, we'll call it veneer, has lifted.

This is all good. You've checked the bellows, it's a working instrument.

-No damage on it at all.

-It's got mileage.

-I like it.

-That's the case?

The back bit's a bit...

So it's probably the original case, Paul?

Oh, yes. It's been used.

I see it as a gamble at 50 quid

because I've said it's worth £40 to £80.

Anywhere on God's earth today, 40 quid?

No, no. Because I will get 50 quid for that today.

That's fair enough. The guy's being straight. Let's take it or leave it.

-I like it.

-Yeah? Go for it.

-Yep, number one.

-First one.

Thanking you.

Thank you very much.

Looks like that pep-talk worked, Paul. One down.

You've picked up the pace. Unlike those Blues.

Are you dithering, chicks?

What about a piano? A lovely arts and crafts piano?

What is that?

Her you are, ladies. An adding machine.

No? Not for you?

No, not for me. No.

I've got a calculator!

Silver, no?

Keep a hold of that before you do anything.

Not a fantastic age but a bit of quality.

What's the hallmark, Paul?

-Birmingham.

-Sheffield.

Birmingham.

Is it Birmingham? I can't remember.

Dear though.

Well, when they were bought, they were 200 quid apiece.

That's the way the world is.

You buy it today, it's worth a tenth of that tomorrow.

Sorry, how much did you say for them?

90 quid, the pair.

To take them home, you're spot on. But you know the game we're playing.

It's got to be a trade purchase and that's not a trade price.

It's a good retail price.

400 quid's worth, down to...

No, it doesn't work like that!

What's the death? They like them and they're the bosses.

80 quid.

The problem with them is, they're second hand.

Not antiques, not collector's items, they're second hand glass,

with a wee bit of silver on the top.

Right. It's a possibility.

60 quid. All right?

-I like them.

-I think they're stylish.

Yes.

Good. Shake the man's hand. Thank him.

Thank you very much.

Good haggling, Paul.

But, teams, you both still need to find that elusive third item.

1777. I mean...

-That's collectible.

-Yeah.

-It's a lovely shape.

-How much?

190.

Thank you very much.

Right, thank you.

It's harder than it looks, isn't it?

I like that. Being in the farming community,

we're attracted to cows, but they're not black and white ones.

We've seen a couple of things in here that we quite like the look of.

-Do you want to have a look?

-Yes, can we?

-It's a champagne tap.

-Ooh, is it? Even better!

-Is it a marked silver at all?

-No.

What do you think it will be made of?

It will be electroplated.

The champagne tap at £55.

Do you think the case would have been made for it?

Well, yeah, it's a very good fit. It looks like a little coffin case.

I don't know that as a plated one you'd make much on that.

I can do it for 35.

Well, that's tempting, isn't it?

That is tempting.

What do you think?

I think it's nice the way it comes in its original case.

-You like the case?

-Yes.

How much did you say?

-35.

-35? What do you think?

I think, yeah. I really like it. I think it suits us both.

For our drinking days!

That would be the last thing.

35, it's good, isn't it?

Plenty of money for you to spend.

-I think we are popping corks at that.

-Yeah!

Oh, Jeremy!

I know it's marked, it's damaged.

-What's the base like?

-It looks a bit...

It's just a nice wee box. 20 quid wouldn't buy it? Wee box?

No, thank you.

Fair enough. Any compromise at all?

No, not at all.

The cogs are going, I can see them.

Um...

..it's the First Lancashire Fusiliers,

but will you be able to sell it?

Buy it.

Yeah?

Aargh!

That's what a soldier kept his bits and bobs in

and there's a market for that,

a regimental collector would pay you £80, £120 for that,

no trouble at all.

But in this auction, I'm worried that it's going to be overlooked. But it's got to make 30 quid...

Buy it and take a gamble that there's a military specialist there.

That's a good thing. If you don't buy it, I'm buying it.

What date-wise are you putting it at? Victorian?

It's 1890, it's Sudan War, it's Boer War.

The only thing I'm concerned about is, will they pick out the damage?

It's a soldier's box. That's what it is.

It's seen a campaign.

It's not about the inside. It's had tools in it.

Lovely, original, painted finish. That's our man there.

Mick McEwan, First Lancashire

F-U-S, Fusiliers.

Lovely little thing. Yes?

Yes, we'll go for it.

A man's life was in that.

Yours might be if it doesn't make a profit!

Now, finally, the teams can rest their old legs because time's up.

What exactly did Sue and David buy?

You've done this before!

An accordion for £50 was music to their ears.

The accordion should do 40 to 80

so they're in with a shout, that's fair enough.

They got the deal they wanted

for the pair of glass and silver decanters.

And the military box grabbed Paul and wouldn't let him go...

You've got a deal. Thank you.

..making a grand total of £140 spent.

-Kids, how was that?

-Wonderful.

You've finished?

-Yes, we have. It's been brilliant.

-What fun!

-Please may I have 160 of leftover lolly.

-You may, reluctantly.

There's the 160, straight across to Paul, very, very cunning man.

Anyway, you go and have a cup of tea. You go on your trawl.

Meanwhile, we're going to find out what the blue team bought.

They raced off the starter's blocks with a glass bowl for £24.

Unusual was the order of the day when it came to the clockwork bug.

I think it's fun and quirky. I think it'll sell well

and it might be just the one that saves the day for us.

And they finished with an electro- plated champagne tap for £35,

leaving them with £186 of leftover lolly for Jeremy.

Which is your favourite piece?

I think the clockwork bug.

Yeah, the wind-up beetle thing. I really like that.

-Which piece is going to bring the biggest profit?

-Hopefully that.

-There you go, J. Including your last pound.

-Lovely.

How do you feel about this shopping expedition?

I think I'm in the right shop.

It's a fantastic place, isn't it?

The variety of objects are unbelievable.

It's huge, yeah.

So, girls, you go and relax up. Your task lies ahead of you, Jeremy.

Meanwhile, we're going to head off to Sulgrave Manor

and it's fab.

This is Sulgrave Manor in Northamptonshire.

It was built between 1539 and 1560 by Lawrence Washington.

Washington made his money in the wool trade

and in the 1920s, the manor was restored to give a glimpse

of what life would have been like for a Tudor farmer.

And this room is called the Great Hall.

In the Tudor period, the Great Hall was still a communal space.

A space where the entire household would eat.

The master might be at one end of the table

and all the servants below the salt at the other.

And it's appropriate that this refectory table has in the centre

a bowl which reflects that communal sense of eating and celebration.

This is something called a wassail bowl

and this single block has been mounted on a lathe,

a pretty big lathe, I have to say, and then spun.

The idea of a big communal drinking vessel like this

is that it would be used to celebrate perhaps the harvest coming in or a wedding.

The ingredients used for wassail aren't precisely recorded

but there'd definitely be alcohol in it, probably mead,

various sweetenings like honey and essence

all blended together into the wassail bowl,

out of which the hooch would be ladled and passed around the table.

Next door, we've got a group of objects

which can be directly linked to this Tudor Great Hall.

These two coins, a shilling, dated 1572

and a sixpenny piece, dated 1567,

were discovered in the ceiling above this room

during the 1920s restoration.

And down below, even more poignantly, I think,

is this a little Tudor leather child's shoe.

Perhaps kicked off by some petulant infant

which somehow found its way behind the wainscoting and into the ceiling void.

But look at how beautifully it's made.

Fine leather, as you'd expect in Northamptonshire,

and stitched with practically invisible tiny little stitches.

Extraordinary.

Of course, the big question today is,

will our teams be finding any booty over at the auction?

Which today is at Golding Young Thomas Mawer in Grantham

where auctioneer Colin Young hopes to get the best possible prices for us.

But first, let's see what Paul found for his bonus buy.

Now, here we come with the bonus buy. You gave him £160.

Did you spend of the lot, Paul?

-I feel slightly dirty about this.

-I beg your pardon? Dirty?

-I'm not proud of this.

-Oh, come on!

I do strive to pick things that haven't been seen before.

In this instance, I just took the money and ran.

Behold! Another piece of Moorcroft.

It could have been a tea caddy.

It could have been a tortoiseshell card box.

But no, it's Moorcroft.

-You know what that is. You know the world loves it.

-Yes.

You take it from me, that is worth certainly £50, £60.

-And you paid how much, Paul?

-£28.

SHE GASPS

I just had to grab it.

Do you like Moorcroft?

I love Moorcroft.

You love it, Sue?

I do. It's hibiscus as well.

Hibiscus! She knows her patterns.

It's even got its original trade label on it.

That's amazing, isn't it?

-Is that not amazing?

-It's gorgeous.

Don't bang yourself up about getting an piece of Moorcroft if you can buy it half-price.

It was a no-brainer, as they say.

Treasure those thoughts. Your choice will come after the sale of your first three items.

Right now, for the viewers at home, let's find out

what the auctioneer thinks about Paul's Moorcroft pot.

-There's a little sweetheart, look.

-It's a pretty little thing.

Not one of the biggest pieces of Moorcroft I've come across but...

Size isn't everything, Colin.

No, it's the pattern that's important.

We've got a good hibiscus pattern.

I would have thought, even on the scale and size,

we are looking at £50 to £80 for it.

That's brilliant. £28 was paid by Laidlaw. That's a good buy?

Yeah, absolutely.

Next is the accordion. I've never played one of these things, I don't know whether you have, Colin?

I've had a bash at a couple of these over the years.

It's what they used to call lavatory seat mother of pearl, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Where you get this finish that looks like mother of pearl, but it's just plastic actually.

This was made in Germany, I suppose, in the 1950s, something like that.

So how do you rate this thing?

-We've placed an estimate of £25 to £40 on it.

-Is that all?

£50 they paid for it and they really quite rate it.

Next are these modern decanters and stoppers, Royal Brierley,

still got the label on, given as a wedding present in 1972, no doubt.

Never been used, hence the original labels.

What do you think they're worth?

They still make £30 or £40 apiece

so we've put an estimate of £60 to £80.

£60 our team paid. So that's all right. 60 to 80, we like that estimate.

Lastly it's the regimental tuck box.

Paul Laidlaw loves this, of course, because it's military. Do you rate it?

I do and I think he's going to have a wry smile on his face when he sees

the rest of the militaria in the sale that will go nicely with it.

So it's in good company today.

We've put an estimate of 25 to 40 and if it's going to make its money, it'll make it today.

Well, it's got to make more than 30. Is that a deal?

No deals to be done with the auctioneer, I can tell you.

No, that's up to the buyers.

Anyway, that's it for the Reds, now for the Blues.

First up for them is the posy vase.

It's quite a big posy to go in there.

It's a good centrepiece. It'll certainly be a statement on anybody's dining table.

-Do think it's Scottish? It looks Scottish.

-Undoubtedly.

As for value on it, we see a lot of these things that are unmarked,

and they generally make mid-tens, £40, £60, that sort of range.

£24 our team paid. So that was the right price to pay.

Next is that clockwork bug, call it a beetle if you like.

How do you rate those?

Oh, I like those sort of things.

There's always a lot of in toys in the sales.

And tin plate, in particular, is doing very well at the moment.

-And what's it worth?

-Well, the condition isn't great.

So, something like that which should be worth well over £100,

I've put an estimate of 30-50, which I think reflects the condition.

-Oh dear, £55 they paid.

-They stand a chance.

Well, still a chance.

And lastly, we've got the champagne tap, here.

That's a nice example, isn't it?

It is a nice example, it's generally not the sort of thing that you would put as a single lot, though.

It just seems fairly low in value.

We've put an estimate of £10-20 on it.

Not something that really excites me and I think it may not do that well.

£25 paid. If it was made of silver it would be helpful.

-But it's just mixed plate, or whatever it is.

-Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

So, I think this is a risky group for the Blues.

So risky, in fact, they're likely to need their bonus buy.

So, let's go and have a look at it.

Now we're going to find out what Jeremy Lamond spent your £186 on.

Well, I thought, "What would we need for the winners' party?

"We'd need a jug, from which we could drink."

So, I bought you a Doulton Blackjack,

which is a copy of a leather jug made in the 17th century.

And it's mounted with silver in the Victorian period.

And just so we don't get too rowdy it says, "Drink fair, don't swear."

DAVID LAUGHS

-So, there we are.

-Well, that's the motto for BBC, isn't it, really?

Have a look.

-It's certainly unusual.

-So, what date was it made, then?

It's about 1895, or so.

It's not something I would personally buy but, um, it's unusual, I think.

Would you drink out of it personally?

I'd drink out of anything.

And what are you going to pay for something that's silver mounted,

complete, a bit quirky, three figures?

-That means you didn't pay.

-Probably a lot?

THEY LAUGH

-I don't know, what about, umm...£80?

-£90.

-£90.

-How much will it make?

-Well, I hope 100-150.

Anyway, you girls treasure those thoughts because right now, for the viewers at home,

we're going to find out what the auctioneer thinks about J's jug.

-Isn't it clever, Colin? I mean, looks like leather.

-Yep.

-Almost feels like leather. Except it's too heavy.

-Yeah.

What I like about it is, though,

the way the pottery has been moulded with these little rivets

and then the rivets are coloured as if they're copper.

You know, you've got a really realistic effect there.

They are, they're really popular at auction, these Blackjack jugs.

As far as this model's concerned, being fairly restrained

in its silver mounting, we've placed 60-90 on this one.

£90 paid by Jeremy who rates it.

-Yeah.

-He's clearly thinking that he's going to make a profit on it

if the team decide to go with it.

That's sometimes the million dollar question.

You standing by?

Good in voice and fine fettle.

Strong in gavel.

This is an unusual object, you know.

For a kick-off, just have a look at the size of this ceramic dish.

It probably dates from around about 1850

and this thing has been made entirely for ornamental purposes.

And it's something that's called faience.

Now, faience is just tin-glazed earthenware, like majolica.

And if you look here, you can see where it's had a chip.

The area underneath is pale yellow earthenware

that's had a very thin layer of tin glaze put on the earthenware to seal it.

It's then been decorated on top of the tin glaze

and the artist, whose name I can't quite make out in the grass here

at the bottom but I can definitely make out Napoli,

so it comes from Naples.

This is a scene from Greek mythology.

We've got the most beautiful girl with most of her kit off,

taking centre stage.

And that's the figure of Europa.

And it's the moment where Zeus, who has developed an incredible

passion for Europa, has disguised himself as a bull

and it's Zeus that's rather enjoying having Europa sitting on his back.

According to the legend, she patted him

and after a bit he simply roared to life, so as to speak,

and ran off with her, galloping into the water down below.

What's it worth?

Well, according to the auctioneers estimate, £1,000-1,500 pounds.

I fancy that might be just a tad bullish.

What do you think?

130, 140, 150, 60...

..170, 180, 190, 200.

HE BANGS THE GAVEL

-So, guys, how are you feeling?

-OK.

-Great, can't wait.

-Yes.

No regrets about anything you've bought, Susan?

-The accordion, maybe...

-The accordion.

-..slightly, I should think.

Just depends on whether there are any street traders or hawkers

who want to set themselves up in business, really.

-Cos it's all set up, isn't it?

-It is.

Lot number 92, then, is the mid-20th century piano accordion by Pietro.

There we go, who's going to start me at £50 for this? £50, anybody? 50?

40 to go if we have to. £40...

-They don't look very musical, do they?

-They don't.

£30, I'll take anything. 10? £10? £10 bid.

12 bid, 15 bid, 18 now, 18 do I see?

18 bid and 20, at £20 bid,

22 now, 22 bid.

25 bid.

-Come on.

-28 now.

30 now. 30, 32 now. 32, the music's getting sweeter.

35, 38 bid. 40.

-42 now. 42, bid.

-Get in there.

45 bid.

48 bid.

-Yes!

-It's the internet.

-50.

And five, now, do I see?

-Not such a bad buy after all.

-Extra five has scared them off.

Oh, we've got 55! They like 55.

-What do you think of that?

-Thank you.

That's £60 bid, any more now?

At £60 bid, it's in the room, it's a lady's bid at 60.

Last call, then, selling at £60!

-Very well done, £60...

-Oh, brilliant!

-..is plus £10.

-Brilliant.

Well, that's marvellous, isn't it?

And next up are the two Royal Brierly decanters. Here they come.

Start me at £80 for them. 80! Got to be worth £40 each.

50, £50. 30.

THEY GASP

£30 bid. Your bid at 30, and five now do I see?

At 30 bid, five, surely? 35, 35, 40, 45, 50. 50, 55? No.

55, now, do I see any more, now?

At 50 bid, two if it's going to help anybody else. Two now, may I say?

At £50, 52, fresh bidder. 55, now.

52, second row has it, at 52 and five is the last call.

Then we're selling, make no mistake at £52.

£52, you are minus eight on that.

Overall, you are plus two. 0h, gosh!

-That... That's disappointing.

-Very.

-This is getting fine.

-Here we go.

-Now, the kit box.

First Lancashire Fusiliers' kit box,

this time with carrying handles.

There we go, a decent little box there.

Who's going to start me with £50 for it? 30 to go, surely, £30 anybody?

-Oh no.

-£10, anybody? 10.

10 bid, 10, 12, 12, 15, 15, 18, 18, do I see 18?

18, 20, £20 bid, 22 bid, 25 bid, five bid now, 25.

28, bid 30, £30 there, 30 bit, 32? No.

-At £30 bid, 32 anywhere else now?

-Cheap.

£30 bid and two is the last call.

At 30, front row has it at 30 bid, two or not now,

selling all done at £30.

-Wiped its face. Well, there we go, I don't believe this.

-Unlucky.

-You are plus £2. You have a profit of a pound each.

-Yes!

David, you were saying there could be a drink in this.

-There could be a drink.

-A lemonade!

-I think it's likely to be fizzy water.

-Are you going with the bonus buy or not, quickly?

-Yes.

The decision's made, we're going with the bonus buy and here it comes.

Lot number 98 is a Moorcroft pottery small baluster vase, there.

With the hibiscus pattern.

Who's going to start me at £100 for it? 100 for the Moorcroft. 80 then?

50 to go then, 50.

-50, straight in at 50, five now?

-Oh, brilliant.

Well done, Paul.

And £50, maiden bid has it, at 50 bid, and 55 bid, 60 now, £60 bid.

60, 65? 65, 65,

70 now, 70 bid,

-75 now. 75 do I see?

-Look at this.

-80 bid, 85 now? 85 surely?

-It's a pretty little vase.

At £80 I have down here.

Two is the last call! We're done, we're finished and going 82.

Internet comes back.

85. 85, 88? 88 bid. £90 then.

-90. 92 now. 92.

-Paul Laidlaw!

At £90 bid, back in the front then at 90, all done and finished

and selling at £90. Thank you, madam.

-Well done, Paul.

-Well done.

-Brilliant!

£62 plus the £2 you had before, makes you plus £64.

-So we get to drink after all?

-How about that?

-Wonderful.

-Brilliant.

Absolutely brilliant. Thanks to our man here.

And just a shame the box didn't make a bit more,

cos you'd got a lot of faith in that, hadn't you?

-Yeah.

-Doesn't matter, it wiped its face. Didn't lose you any money.

-No.

-Anyway, congratulations on that.

-Thank you very much.

-Don't say a thing to the Blues.

-Wouldn't dream of it.

-No.

Congratulations, wow!

Next up is the faience platter,

estimate £1,000-1,500.

Magnificent object, here it comes.

There we go, wonderful, painted Italian faience oval charger, this time.

Who's going to start me at 500 and we count on?

£500, straight in for it, 500. £500 bid. At 550 now, 550.

600, 650, 700 now, 700 bid. 700, 750,

800, 850,

900, 950.

1000 now, surely. At 950. I'll take another bid at 75 if it's going to help. As 950. 975.

At 975. Top it up. 1,000 now, surely. 1,000. 1,000 bid.

At £1,000, are we all done and finished?

-Going this time, then, at £1,000. Thank you very much.

-£1,000 and sold.

Not bullish at all.

-So, girls, how are you feeling?

-Yeah, quite excited.

-Confident?

-Yeah.

-Do you know how the Reds got on?

-No.

-No, we don't want you to know that.

Any particular item that you wish you hadn't bought, Kristen?

-That champagne tap, I think that's a dud.

-It's a bit of a...

It is a bit dodgy, that thing, isn't it?

First up, though, is the posy vase. And here it comes.

The Scottish turquoise art pottery posy vase this time.

-Who's going to start me at £80 for it?

-80.

-50 to go then...

-Come on.

-£30. 20 to go, then. 20.

-Oh, dear!

At £20 bid. Two now. Two, five.

-28, back with you.

-You're in profit.

-30. £30 I'm bid.

-It's better than 20.

-32 anywhere else? Lady's bid, then. You're all out.

-Oh, no! Internet, isn't it?

-£30.

-Well done, Jeremy. That is plus £6. To make a profit is an achievement.

Next is the clockwork beetle.

Lot 114 is a German lithograph tinplate clockwork beetle by Lehman,

as opposed to the other Beatle by Lennon.

Who's going to start me at £50 for it? £30, anybody? 30.

£30, what a fun object. Its 30 at the back of the room.

30 bid. Five now. I've had it working during viewing. At £30. Two now if it helps.

It does. 32, 35, 35, 38. 38 bid. 40. £40 I'm bid.

42, 45, 45. 48 on the internet. £50. 50, and five now. £50 bid.

Back in the room at 50. Five, surely.

At £50 bid, are we going to creep into another bid now? No.

-At £50, all done and finished.

-No, just a bit more.

-All done at £50.

Bad luck. £50 - that's minus £5, which means, overall,

you have a profit of a pound.

50p each. After all this effort.

OK. Now we have the champagne tap.

It should be £30 of anybody's money. 30 pounds, anybody? 20 to go then, surely.

-£20, anyone? 20.

-Uh-oh(!)

£10. Thank you. Ten bid.

12, 15. 15, do I see? No, wasn't quick enough then.

At 12 bid, 13 do I see now? £12 I'm bid. 13 now do I see? At 12 bid.

It's lost its fizz very quickly. 13, back in. 14. 15, do I see? 15. 16.

He's such a good auctioneer.

-15 at the back of the room. Last call, sells at 15. 16.

-Oh! 16.

17 now, sir. 17, do I see?

No, the lady's bid at 16 bid. Any more now? Going, then, at £16.

You are minus £19 on that wretched tap.

You had a pound before, so that means you're minus £18.

-What about the bonus buy? Minus £18 could be a winning score.

-I think we'll go for it.

-We like it. It's unusual.

-I think we're going to have to.

-Do you trust in Jeremy?

-Yeah.

-Drink fair, don't swear.

-Yeah, we like that.

There could be a certain amount of swearing if it doesn't do too well, J.

There we go, 119 is a blackjack jug this time. Who's going to start me at 100?

£100, anybody? 80 to go, then, surely. 80. 50. £50, anybody? 50. £50. 30.

-Oh dear!

-£30. At £30 bid, five do I see? At 35, 40. At 40 bid.

45 now do I see? 45 I've got. At 45 bid, 50 bid. 55 now.

I've got 50 in the room. 55, 60. No, 55. Net bidder has it at 55.

Any more now? At 55. I'll take eight as a last call.

-58 now, is it going to help you? It does, 58 bid. At 58 bid. 60.

-I don't think it'll get there.

60 do I see? No, he's gone for a cup of tea.

At £58 bid. 60 anywhere else now? 58 bid. Last call at £58.

-Oh!

-That is minus £32. I can't believe it. 32. You are minus £50.

-Very disappointing.

-You are minus £50. I could burst into tears for you.

Poor baby. It's not right, is it, eh?

-No.

-That blackjack should have done a lot better.

Listen, it could be a winning score. Be optimistic.

Minus £50, the programme could be yours.

-Just don't say a word to the Reds.

-We won't, we won't.

-We'll reveal all and put you out of your agony in a minute.

-OK, then.

Oh, poor chickens!

Well, it's not so often that we get two teams who are so completely

poles apart, but we have got a pole apart between our teams today.

I'm afraid the runners-up by a long chalk are the Blues.

-Minus £50 is not a great score, is it?

-Not really.

-But you were robbed a couple of times. But you had a good time.

-Yes, it was brilliant.

I'm so glad about that.

You've been very sporting to take it all on the chin.

But I have to turn to the Reds with a degree of congratulations, because you need to

look at your leader here because, without him, you would be up a gum tree.

He's the man.

The profit on the Moorcroft pot means that you will walk away

with £64 today. £64. There's 60 in there in a paper clip, which is nice.

-And you get the £4 coming up here, look, which is folding money, isn't it?

-It's wonderful.

-And congratulations.

-Thank you.

I hope you're going to pay your expert a commission.

THEY LAUGH

He gets that!

-Anyway, brilliant. Have you had a nice time?

-Wonderful time.

-Beats milking, doesn't it?

-It does, yes.

We thoroughly enjoyed having you. In fact, so much we'd like you to join us soon

-for more bargain hunting. Yes?

-ALL:

-Yes!

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