Ardingly 25 Bargain Hunt

Today we're in Sussex, home to the beautiful South Downs,

which form a large part of the Sussex counties.

But do you know what else is big around here?

-PLANE ROARS OVERHEAD

-Apart from Gatwick Airport.

Ardingly antiques and collectors fair! So let's go bargain hunting! Yeah!

Ardingly is the biggest antiques and collectors fair in the south of England, so where better place

for our teams to spend their £300 doing a spot of vintage shopping?

Coming up on today's show:

the Blues have a list.

-Buy and Don't Buy.

-Right.

But it doesn't go quite to plan.

-I don't even like it!

-You've got one minute left. Do you like it now?

-Yes.

And what can I say about the Reds?

You're meant to work your way up... or down?

-Down! We're buying!

-Oh! I always work my way up!

No! You're a buyer!

Oh, Lord. The question is will the prices go in the right direction at the auction?

Let's meet the teams.

Today we've got two couples - Patrick and Matthew for the Reds

and Matthew and Jude for the Blues. Welcome, everybody.

-Hello, Tim.

-Patrick, is it true that you met down the pub?

-Yeah. At a quiz night.

We got stuck on one of our questions which was, "Where are the Maldives?" I had no clue.

I saw this cute guy standing at the bar and went up to ask him where the Maldives are.

-That's how we got together.

-Did he know?

-No.

-So that worked out very well(!)

-He cooked a very nice fish supper.

-When you're not doing pub quizzes, what do you get up to?

-I'm an artist. I like to paint and sketch.

Recently, some of my paintings have gone abroad. I've got a Virgin Mary in a monastery in India.

And some of my paintings have been turned into greeting cards.

So you must be proud of that. Your first career choice was waiter.

-Yes, I was a waiter for nine years.

-And it went very well.

-Until I got sacked.

The first time, I dropped a teapot on a lady's head.

The second time, I was uncorking a bottle of champagne and didn't catch the cork in time.

It hit a lady on the back of the head and her face fell into her omelette.

The third time, I was flambeing a steak for a guest and I set him on fire.

-Was this called Fawlty Towers?

-It could have been, yes.

-I'm glad you've moved on. What do you do, Matthew?

-I work for a property auctioneer.

-A big one?

-One of the big ones, yes.

-You're quite competitive.

-Yes, we are.

Particularly when watching Bargain Hunt. We guess at the worth.

-How do you normally get on?

-I get on very well. Nine times out of ten I'm usually right.

-What's your strategy? Going to spend a lot?

-I want to spend it all.

-You want to spend it all.

We want to spend as much as we can. We're looking for nice glassware.

-Ah.

-We love glassware.

-Well, good luck with that.

-Nice to talk to you. Now you're from Ohio.

-Yes.

How did you hook up with Matthew?

-Well, I met my Matthew in a pub as well.

-Did you?

-And we got on splendidly.

-You're a bit of an iron woman.

Currently I go to the gym a lot and I do body combat, I punch.

-And we do body weightlifting. I keep strong.

-Very strong.

-Yes. And I used to do triathlons when I lived in San Diego.

-Gosh.

What do you get up to, Matthew?

Most of my working life I worked for a pharmaceutical company.

I was on the point of retiring when I met Jude. She didn't like that.

I then worked for a couple of years as a researcher in a hospital.

And then for another seven years at Buckingham University.

For a man who wanted to retire early, you've done very well!

-I've been well put down for my extra years!

-"Keep working!"

So what's your tactic today, then?

-Jude has a list.

-I have two lists.

-Do you?

-Yes.

-Things to buy and things not to buy.

-What's top of the To Buy List?

-Gold or silver.

-Right. Very topical with the bullion market.

It'll be interesting to see what you actually pitch up with. Now the money moment.

£300 apiece. There you go. £300.

You know the rules, your experts await. Off you go! Very good luck!

My gosh, this will be exciting!

Giving the Reds a helping hand is the irrepressible Catherine Southon.

But she'd better watch out. David Harper's on the Blue team and he's fighting fit.

So the hour starts now and with rockets in their pockets,

-the Reds dive straight in!

-The clock's started!

-It's started!

Quick, Matthew!

Jude, however, has a plan.

-This looks like a list to me.

-It is.

-Oh, dear.

-Buy and Don't Buy.

-This came from ten years of watching Bargain Hunt.

-You've watched...?

-We've been marking down what sells well and what doesn't.

-You haven't been watching me?!

-It's on the No Buy list!

-Something tells me our teams will go about this in very different ways.

-OK, let's go.

-Let's go.

How long is that list?! We've only got an hour! Walk while you talk.

What have the Reds stumbled across?

-Ah, that's a nice design.

-Is it secessionist? Minton?

-Oh, yes!

-Lovely.

-Oh, we love Art Nouveau!

No, we do. How much is this?

-- £160.

-160?!

-- Will you take 20?

20?! These guys are having a laugh!

Jude, however, is sticking to her structured approach.

-That's on the list.

-What? Wild boars?

-Sort of!

-Animals on marble is what's on the list.

-OK, yeah.

He's quite light.

-Yeah?

-He's probably alabaster.

It's not signed, but he's a wild boar. Very decorative.

For me, he's too light. He looked good, but too light.

So amend the list, Jude, to HEAVY animals on marble.

Now the Reds have found something weighty.

-"Prepare to meet thy God."

-That's Sunderland lustreware.

-I like it. It's unusual.

-"Prepare to meet thy God." £100 on that is quite punchy.

-It's a lot of money.

It's a bit scary. I wouldn't like to sit down to my dinner with that. You'd think you'll choke to death!

Too much to stomach, eh, Reds?

Someone who's got a lot on his plate is David Harper.

Let's have that list out, Jude. Let's just doublecheck.

-Candlesticks, Troika and gold.

-Gold!

# Gold! Always believe in your soul... #

-But where is it when you want it?

-# You're indestructible

# Always believing Cos you are gold... #

-Doesn't look like gold to me.

-I think it's kind of cool.

-It is.

How old is it? 10 years you've been watching this programme.

-I think it's not very old. In fact...I think it's brand Harry Spankers.

-Bang on!

Listen, Yankee Doodle, that's my line!

-Brand hairy spankers?

-Brand Harry Spankers.

-I'm going to use that.

-You can't.

-That's Tim's line.

-You tell him, Jude!

-Does he say hairy?

-No, he says Harry.

It's Harry, not hairy! Get it right, Harper.

-That is lovely, isn't it?

-Very nice. What is it?

-A quaich. It's like a...

-Quiche?

-Quaich.

-I like it.

-What do you do with it, Catherine?

-I think it's for tasting.

-Wine tasting.

-How old is it?

-It's hallmarked, can you see? London.

-Yeah, yeah.

-And I think that's M and that's...1911.

-I like it. It's very pretty.

-It is pretty. Here we've got the handles.

-They're all quite delicate, quite flimsy.

-Still, it's 100 years old.

-I know you wanted something glass.

-I like it. It's something I'd sit on my coffee table. Very attractive.

The only thing is now it's not hugely commercial.

-But it's pretty.

-I would call it specialist.

-What do you want on that?

-70.

-70?

-What could you do with that?

-55 would be the best.

-50.

-1911. It's 100 years old.

-You can do 50 for me.

-Do 50 and we'll pay cash.

-Go on, give us your 50, then.

-50! That's a deal.

-Are you happy with that?

-Very.

-It's a nice thing.

-Yes! Let's do it.

-Are you really happy?

-Yeah!

-Good, excellent. First purchase. Well done - 10 minutes, I think.

-Now we know what was top of Jude's list.

-# Gold! #

Here's some gold. What have we got going here?

-Is it all gold?

-Yes.

-What is it? 9 carat?

-The studs are 15.

-15.

-One's 9...

I can tell by your response, Jude, that you're not overly excited.

It looks pretty light and the value of gold is weight.

-It is all in weight. How much is this?

-I would say about 4 grams.

-So that's about £45.

-OK, so it's on scrap weight. So he's selling it as scrap,

but the great thing with gold is that everybody wants it.

-Can we do this lot for...

-25?

-Go on, you say it.

-I'll do it for £40. That gives you a good chance.

- Would you go 38? - I won't make any pennies.

I'll do 39.

-Do you think?

-You've got a diamond and a bunch of gold for 39 quid!

-39, we'll go for that.

-There's our first purchase.

-Thanks a lot.

-Aaah!

So Jude's list gets its first big tick.

-That's nice. That's Davidson cloud glass?

-Lovely.

-1930s.

-Wine colour. It's like a red wine.

-But these are collectable. If you can buy that at the right price...

-I wouldn't pay more than 30.

-Sometimes they used to come on a stand. A black glass...

-It's a centrepiece.

-How much is that?

-45.

-45.

-Or thereabouts.

-Or thereabouts! Ah!

-We liked that. We definitely liked that.

Would we buy that if I do it for 20?

-He's not going to do it for 20!

-He might do!

-Don't say that!

-Sorry!

- 28's the best price. - 25 and we'll give you cash.

- 25? - Right now?

-Right now. Is that a deal.

-Why can't we do 20? Why say 25?

-We've just done a deal at 25!

But it's definitely worth 25.

-OK, but... Are we having this?

-Yes, yes.

-Yes. I've got my glass!

-Catherine's beginning to regret coming out with us!

-We're supposed to be going down.

-No, you're meant to work your way... up...? Or you work down?

-I can't remember.

-Down! We're buying.

-Oh! I always work my way up!

-No! You're a buyer!

-Oh, yeah.

-I'm glad we cleared that up.

-OK, we're done. Second purchase.

-Quick! Leave! Before Patrick offers him more money!

-And what have the Blues found?

-Oh, a banjo!

-Hey, a banjo would be good. I love banjos.

-Are they written down?

-Musical instruments.

-Cheap.

-OK. How much does it need to be?

-How much do they make?

-40-60.

-Oh, it'll never be that!

-How much do you think it'll make?

-I don't know. We'll find out now. How are you?

-Hi!

-Are we well today?

-Very well. How much is the banjo?

-The banjo...

I've got 170 on it, but the absolute death is 130 and that is an absolute bargain.

It's a belter. And I'm thinking early '60s. I've had people on it all day.

I've been saying 170. If you don't nick 50 quid off that, I'll pack the game in.

There's a man with great confidence.

It's a quality thing. You've got a nice bit of stringing. It's plastic or Bakelite, maybe.

I don't play the banjo.

-But I think I sound rather good.

-Absolutely!

And not all banjos have a reinforced neck. This one has.

-What's the double death?

-Can you go under 100?

-Come on.

-120. That's it. That's the absolute death.

-OK. I'll chat with my team.

-You go for it.

-OK.

-What do you think, Matthew?

-120 is...hmm.

I'd say it's risky, but... if you really want to do it.

Let's come back.

-Can you hold it for five minutes?

-Don't be long!

You heard the man, Blues. Hurry up!

Do you like those rattles? That one's nice, the joker.

I like the Humpty Dumpty. What are they? 1910 or something?

-Do people collect these?

-They do.

But I'm worried about the price. It's probably quite hefty.

I love the hair at the back. Lovely detail.

- Can you tell us how much they are? - The jester's 95.

-- Humpty's 190. Oh, no. Too expensive.

-190.

That's quite a lot, isn't it?

-We would need to buy this for about 140.

-Yes.

-100...

-Oh, he's got the idea now! He's got the idea that we need to go down!

-Well done, Patrick!

-It's beginning to sink in.

-It's only taken 45 minutes.

All right! What's with the attitude?

We've got 100 quid and we love this piece.

-- Can't do it, sorry. - Oh!

-What could you do it for?

-170 it needs to be.

-No, can't do it. We haven't got 170.

-OK, are we going to walk away from this, then?

-Yes.

-We might come back. Thank you.

-Thank you so much.

Time's running out, guys, and the Blues have still got two to buy.

I'm under pressure here! Real pressure.

-I'm floundering. How about you?

-I'm completely and utterly lost!

-We need help!

-I'm going down fast.

I've got to make them buy another two items and I've hardly any time.

-I'm ready to go for the banjo.

-It is expensive.

-Let's risk it.

-OK.

We're running out of time.

Let's hope it hasn't been sold with all this dithering about.

With 10 minutes left, the Reds have headed inside.

-That's quite nice.

-- A little bit more than £100. - 102?

-I paid 130 for it.

-A little barometer?

-Look at the thermometer on the back.

-That's quite nice.

-You can have it for 140.

-Does it work?

-It's been working.

-It's BEEN working?

-That doesn't answer my question!

-It was working in 1716(!)

-I do like it, actually.

-I think it's late 19th century. Was there a maker's name?

-There's an Edinburgh maker.

I saw one in a Miller's Guide and it sold at auction for 210.

-Very, very pretty.

-Know what I like about it? It's almost like a miniature carriage clock.

-I like the shape of it.

-I like it, I like it.

-Or we go back to the Humpty Dumpty.

-The rattle. The silver rattle.

-We've got seven minutes.

-Shall we just...

-Let's use five.

-You're being assertive now.

-Yes.

-A quick tour and then come back?

-Right.

-He'll hold onto this.

So is that banjo still there?

-Oh, yes.

-It's still here!

-Have we just got it in time?

-I think you said 118, right?

-No, 120.

-We're going to have it, Darren.

-We're going to make a decision. Hallelujah! Darren, 120.

-You're very welcome. Thank you.

Thank you. Come on - spend some more!

Yes, there's no time to lose. Both teams need one more item and they need it now.

-We've got about one minute.

-OK.

Let's hope it's still there.

-What was it? 135?

-No, 140, we said.

-I thought he said 135.

-I'm not getting involved!

-The guy's given us a good deal.

-But we need to make more than that.

-Well, let's do this.

-Are we happy with that for what did we say - 140?

- 140. - It's a deal. Thank you, sir.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you. We have finished! I am exhausted.

-Three items. Are we happy?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-We deserve a cup of tea.

-I need a rum and Coke!

-Come on! Let's see what we can find.

While the Reds go in search of refreshment, can the Blues rustle up a bargain?

Come on, David. It's now or never!

We've only got two minutes to buy something. I like that.

-Hold it up to the light. Jude, do you like it?

-No.

Listen, if it's good, it'll ring well.

-PINGS

-Quality.

-How much?

-18.

-So it's hand-blown. I think it's a good colour.

We are the Blue team. Listen again.

-Would 10 quid buy it?

-Oh, you gotta!

- Please. - No, no, no!

It will be...14. And that's it.

I don't even like it! I don't even LIKE it!

-OK, you've got one minute left. Do you like it?

-Yeah, fine.

-Are we going to have it at 14?

-We're going to have it at 14.

-Well done! Thank the lord!

-Oh, my God!

-Let's ring the bells!

-I can't believe we bought that!

Well, you either bought that or you bought nothing.

We've aged about five years today. Come on, tea time.

Pah! Who needs a list after all? Well done, Blues.

What time is it? Well, it's time to stop the shop time.

So let's remind ourselves what the Red team bought, eh?

They got the party started with this tasting quaich at £50.

Patrick haggled the cloud glass bowl UP to £25 and not a penny less. Brilliant(!)

And as temperatures rose,

they relieved the pressure with a barometer/thermometer for £140.

-Are you happy?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-If you're happy, I'm happy. If we're happy, they're happy.

-Everybody's happy.

-The whole world's happy.

-The whole world is happy. You are so right there, Paddy.

-How much did you spend all round?

-We spent £215.

-That is a mature amount of money. I'm really proud of you.

-Please may I have £85 of leftover lolly?

-You can indeed.

-There you go.

-Like the tax man, into one hand and out with the other.

-Thank you.

Whatever I buy, I shall barter in the right direction.

-He's been going up and I've been trying to get the price down.

-You're the expert on that. Very good luck.

Good luck, chaps. Have a nice cup of tea. We're going to check out what the Blue Team bought, eh?

At the top of Jude's list was gold

and they paid £39 for this assorted collection.

Still sticking with the shopping inventory,

they spent £120 on a banjo,

but at that price, will it strike a bum note at the auction?

Then in the dying seconds, the list went out of the window

and in an act of desperation, they bought this glass vase for £14.

-Did you think we were ever going to finish that all off?

-No, I didn't.

-That was a close-run thing.

It did go on and on a bit, didn't it? This is ridiculous.

-And you spent all round how much?

-173, Tim.

-So can I have £127 of leftover lolly?

-Here it is.

-There's the two smacks. Thank you.

-What are you going to spend it on, Dave?

-I'm going to be on my own, so I can make my own decisions

and not have anyone around me.

-And you'll make your decisions quite quickly?

-Quite quickly, yes.

Anyway, no pointed remarks here. Very good luck, David. Good luck, team.

Meanwhile, we're heading off to a divine house tucked the other side of Chichester,

straddling the borders of Sussex and Hampshire.

Set in over 1,700 acres of countryside is Stansted Park.

Once an ancient hunting estate,

the first Stansted House was built in 1688 by the Lumleys,

the family name of the Earls of Scarbrough.

It then had a succession of distinguished owners

who spent vast fortunes embellishing the house and grounds.

It was improved and extended over the years until by the end of the 19th century,

the stately Stansted Park was in the hands of the Wilder family.

Then one evening in 1900,

two servants in the yard noticed flames coming out of a corner of the roof of the house

and despite giving the alarm,

within hours, several hundred years of history had been destroyed in a tremendous fire.

Said to have been caused by faulty electrical wiring,

the fire brigade were unable to bring the blaze under control.

Fanned by a wind, the fire lasted until six the next morning

by which time the house was totally gutted.

So what did the Wilders do?

Well, they just dusted themselves down, took breath

and set about rebuilding the place

exactly on the foundations of the original house,

but with substantial changes in style and internal layout.

The style is a sort of reformed William and Mary style.

They employed the architect Blomfield

and in only three years, this structure was completed.

In fact, Blomfield did such an outstanding job,

Stansted became a home fit for nobility again.

In 1924, the 9th Earl of Bessborough bought Stansted

to house the family collection of furniture and works of art

which remain here to this day.

Although many of the treasures of the house were lost in the fire,

fortunately, three tapestries, known as the Lumley tapestries, survived

of which this is one.

Originally, there were nine of these tapestries,

woven in Brussels early in the 18th century,

and they depict scenes from the battles in the Wars of the Spanish Succession.

This one, entitled The Encampment, is really rather magnificent.

On the right-hand side, we have a tent full of soldiers drinking.

This is the mess room, effectively, where they're going to relax and in the background,

we've got an extraordinary massed group of tents

where the troops are encamped.

Having survived the fire,

the Wilder family decided that they would sell their tapestries to fund the restoration

and only later did the Bessboroughs acquire these three tapestries

and 60 years after they had been hung in this house,

they returned once more for the public to enjoy.

Isn't that a great story?

The big question today is, what sort of a story are we going to have for our teams over at the auction?

Is it going to be crash and burn or happiness and hugs?

50. £50 by the pillar.

Any more at 50? I'll sell it then. It's your last chance. £50...

We've whizzed west from Ardingly to Wisborough Green

to Bellmans Saleroom to be with my old mate, my old mucker, Jonathan Pratt.

-How are you, Jonathan?

-Very well, Timothy. How are you?

-Lovely to be here.

Patrick and Matthew for the Reds went with the silver-mounted quaich.

-Does that do anything for you?

-I like a bit of wine now and then. That's for whisky?

-Whisky and brandy?

-I'm not sure what the Scots drank out of it, but they sure loved the stuff.

Apparently, they evolved from bleeding bowls. That says something, doesn't it?

The mounts are by William Comyns. He's a good maker.

-It's a nice, late 19th, early 20th century object.

-How much then?

-£80 to £120.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Are you sure?

I'm not questioning you. They only paid £50.

-That's a lovely first estimate.

-£50 sounds cheap to me.

-Yes. They've done very well with that.

-Will this continue, though, with the amethyst, streaky, Newcastle, glass-moulded bowl?

-Davidson.

It's an acquired taste, isn't it?

-It's a sort of slag-type glass.

-That's a term I was trying to avoid using!

-How much?

-£10 to £20.

-£25 they paid, so they're not so far off.

-They didn't pay 85, in which case you'd be really depressed.

-It's not my cup of tea.

-I can understand that

-But they pinned most of their cash on this little desk barometer, thermometer fellow.

-I like it.

The style's rather fun and it has that look of the late 19th century with this little swan-neck handle

-which you'd see on the top of a carriage clock.

-Yes.

But having the thermometer and the barometer is a nice touch.

-It's a gentleman's table object.

-Yes

Maybe I've been a bit mean. My feeling is it's worth between £60 and £90.

-Oh, dear. They paid 140.

-Which is a lot more.

-It is.

-Like twice as much.

-Let's hope that perhaps cautious estimating is good for drawing in business.

Interesting. That's where they've thumped their money.

But is it going to make a profit? That's a lot of money to get past 140. 160, 180?

Who's presenting this? Am I presenting this or you?

-You're the auctioneer. I'm supposed to say to you, "Is it going to make a profit?"

-I very much doubt it.

If it doesn't get there, they're going to need their bonus buy, so let's go and have a look at it.

-Boys, how are you feeling? Excited?

-Yeah, we are. Very much so.

You spent £215. You gave the lovely Catherine Southon 85 smackers. What did you spend it on, darling?

I have bought you...this.

-Oh, I don't believe it!

-A rattle.

-That's amazing!

-Isn't it lovely?

-Yeah, absolutely stunning.

-Have a little shimmy.

-Isn't that gorgeous?

-A little child's baby rattle.

-How old is it?

-It's hallmarked Birmingham, 1918.

-Wow!

-What is this bit made out of?

-This is bone, so we've got a bone teething ring and a bone handle.

-Have you bought a jester for these two jokers?

-Absolutely!

And Catherine, how much did it cost?

-You gave me 85, was it?

-Yes.

-I spent 60.

-Ah!

-That's not bad.

-Which I think is quite reasonable.

-No, that was an "ah" for "good".

-Right, good.

-It's not an "ah", I'm going to pass out?

-No.

-I think it's worth £60 all day long. That should make a profit.

-Fantastic.

-Wonderful.

-It'll be a little profit.

-It may be the only thing that makes a profit!

-Don't be like that.

-Be positive.

Is he always like this?

-In the mornings. He gets better as the day goes on.

-Fair enough. As he warms up?

-Yeah.

Well done, Catherine. Thank you for that sweet little object.

Let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about Catherine's rattle.

Now, you've got children, haven't you?

-Yes. They don't need this any longer

-That's a shame.

-Rather fun, though.

-It's a jolly little thing.

-It's a joker. It hasn't been too badly chewed. The condition is quite good.

It is quite good. It's a fairly simply stamped-out piece of silver. I think £40 to £60 is my bet.

Catherine paid 60, so she's paid the top end for it.

-It might just get there.

-That will depend on how desperate the team are.

They may be, at this point, absolutely desperate. That's it for the Reds.

Lovely-jubbly. Now for the Blues...

First up are the gold items.

You pop them on the scales and that's what it is.

How much money comes out when you pop them on the scales?

You have to be cautious because thes guys who buy these things literally have the gold price of the day.

-Yes.

-It could go up or down. It would scrap at around £70.

-Really? They paid 39. So that's pretty good.

-Very good.

Now, next is the banjo

which, to me, with these bits of plastic and Pozidriv type screws,

-does not have a lot of age to it.

-Not particularly.

It's a quality musical instrument. It's in nice condition. But I don't know, £70, £90?

They paid £120. They thought they'd got it cheap. But you might have two budding instrumentalists there.

-You might do.

-I hope so!

OK, and no Bargain Hunt contestant feels complete unless they buy a piece of glass,

so they bought this blue fellow.

I think it's sort of posing as a bit of Whitefriars, to be fair.

-It's pretty dull, a pretty dull shape.

-Yeah. It doesn't do it for me

But they only paid £14. That's their only saving grace.

Do you think you might get a pound or two more?

Don't be too positive(!)

£20 to £40. It's a wide estimate. It might make 15, it might make 10.

If it made £15, we'd be delighted. That's a £1 profit. They'll need their bonus buy, so let's see it.

-Well, guys, excited?

-Yes.

-Very.

You gave your man £127.

-What did the genius buy?

-The big build-up, "the genius". Here we go, ready for a fall!

-Be prepared to be impressed.

-OK.

-Seriously.

-Hello, baby.

-Wow!

-Wow!

-Pretty cool.

-Missing two fingers.

-How many fingers?

-Two.

-There could be a message in the two fingers.

-We don't want to talk about that.

-Quite.

-Is it an object of beauty?

-It was originally.

Yeah, but she's got age. It's called an antique.

Antiques have got to look their age.

She's hand-carved, probably French, circa 1900.

-But how much did you pay, David?

-What do you think?

What would you pay... Oh, her head almost came off there!

-..for something of such quality? It is a bit wobbly.

-In this condition, 20 to 40.

-40 to 50.

-OK.

-Are we getting closer?

-No.

-Oh, Lord!

-Double your top estimate.

-We don't have to choose her.

-You don't, no.

-You are absolutely right. And we will see what happens in the auction, right?

-Indeed.

But let's find out what the auctioneer thinks

about David's museum-quality piece of alabaster.

So, JP, here's your chance.

Oh, look at that!

-Isn't she lovely?

-Isn't that the most ghastly piece of sculpture you have seen in a long time?

There's a lot of... I won't use the word "lot".

There's some work that's gone into making this, but alabaster is such a soft material,

it drops apart, it falls apart.

-It's one of the softest rocks. It's used to imitate marble.

-But this is brown and covered in crud!

-This is a shocker. What is your estimate?

-£50. 50 to 80.

This is the joy of the programme because David Harper clearly thinks it's a brilliant thing.

He's paid £100 for it. He sees it making a profit. I wish him good luck and I wish you good luck.

And we'll stand by with interest. Thank you.

170? It's £160, commission bid then. At 160 and selling...

All done?

Patrick, Matthew, how do you feel about this auction lark then?

There's quite a few people here, so we're quietly confident.

The first lot that is coming up is your lovely Comyns, silver-mounted quaich,

which you paid £50 for.

-The auctioneer's estimate is £80 to £120.

-Oh!

-Well done, you two.

-Fantastic.

-And here it comes.

Lot 1651A.

We have a silver-mounted, glass quaich. Lovely mounts on it.

And someone start me at £80? Start me at £80?

£80 bid on the left.

Thank you, at 80. A maiden bid of £80, but surely worth another five?

"Surely not," she says. I'm sure it is. £80 is bid.

Any more? I shall sell it then, a maiden bid of £80.

Are you all done? Selling at £80...

£80. Came in at 80, sold it at 80.

You are plus £30. That's excellent.

Your next item is the Davidson amethyst bowl and here it comes.

Start me at £20 for the bowl?

£20 is bid. Thank you. At 20.

-5 anywhere? £20, standing left. Looking for 5?

-More!

I'll take 2. Who's going to bid me 2

£20 on the left. Any more at £20?

-Again a maiden bid. It's going to go at £20...

-No, I can't bear it.

-£20.

-5 down on that.

-You're still plus 25, though.

Lot 1653A, a late 19th century, gilt brass, oval mantel barometer

by Bryson. A rather handsome-looking chap.

I have interest to start me at £130. Straight in at £130.

-How much?

-130.

-140 now.

-150. 160. 170.

-We're in profit.

-£170.

-More, more!

-Do I see 180?

At £170. With me at 170. Are you all done?

-More, more.

-£170 and selling...

-Don't be greedy.

170. Well done, Catherine. That is marvellous. Plus £30 on that.

Which means overall, you are plus £55. How good is that?

-That is just awesome.

-You're £55 up.

Are you going to risk any of that on the rattle at £60?

-This is a difficult one.

-I think we should. I like it.

-Do you?

-Are you doubtful, Catherine?

-I don't want to risk it.

-Oh, Patrick!

-I think we'll bank what we've got.

-Good.

Well, we're going to sell it anyway

and here it comes, so this'll be fun.

Lot 1657A, silver baby's rattle, modelled as a jester.

I've got bids to start me in at £40, and I'll take 5?

-OK.

-£40. 45. And 50.

55. And 60. 65 on the left now. At 65.

-You're in profit.

-Only five, though.

Are we all done at £65? With Lee at £65 and selling...

-That's OK.

-65.

-That's OK.

-Well done, Catherine.

-Yeah.

You've done extremely well with your barometer and your rattle.

Plus £5. You gave up £5 for the security of hanging on to your 55.

-We did, yes.

-£55 you are up. That could be a winning score.

-Just don't say a word to the Blues.

-No.

-No?

-No.

-Do you know how the Reds got on?

-No idea.

-We don't want you to know.

Now, the gold items, which you paid a miserable £39 for,

apparently, will melt down and make between £70 and £90, according to Jonathan.

-That's pretty good.

-Excellent.

And here it comes.

Gold value alone, surely got to start me at £60?

-Surely worth £60 for the gold? Do I see £60?

-Come on.

Thank you. On the left at 60.

-Straight in at £60. Looking for 5?

-You've doubled your money nearly.

I shall sell it. It's going straight in...

-65 at the very back.

-65, look at that!

-Go on!

-70.

On the left by the bell at £70.

-This is magic.

-We're selling, all done.

-£70.

-Brilliant!

-I think that's £31. That is £31.

-Good trade lot.

You are brilliant. Now, the banjo.

Lot 1674A, 1960s banjo.

-And four bids.

-Four bids.

-Hey!

I have, to start me, £80. With me at 80.

It's with me at £80 for the banjo. At £80.

-85. 90. 95. And 100.

-Look at this!

-It's £100 with me then.

Against you all at £100. Do I see the 10?

-It's £100 then and I'm selling...

-Bad luck.

-Not as bad as we thought.

No. It nearly struck the right chord there.

OK, minus 20. It means you are plus 11.

Surely, this Whitefriars lookalike vase is going to be all right.

Someone start me at 20?

-£20 to start me?

-Go on!

-10 then?

On the left at 10. Surely worth 12? Let's go up.

-Come on, it's £10. At 10.

-Come on.

-12.

-Yes.

Got to be worth 15 somewhere. £12 on the left.

-He's struggling.

-Anyone else?

-He's struggling.

All done at £12? Surely worth more.

It's £12 then, Mr Fowler's bid. It's £12 and selling...

-GAVEL BANGS

-You are minus 2 on that.

You are still plus £9.

-We are plus £9!

-That's pretty good going.

-And that over here, in English money, is £4.50 each.

-LAUGHTER

Now, listen, are you going to preserve your £4.50 each

or are you going to dribble away some of it on the old alabaster?

-Where are you coming from here?

-Will you give us a clue, Tim?

He's been giving you clues all the way through!

-I couldn't possibly indicate whether I love that loathsome thing or not!

-We'll stick with what we have.

We're going to sell it anyway and here it comes.

Handsome figure, this, isn't it? A little bit of minor damage.

-Almost all complete.

-I can't bear it

-What did you pay?

Straight in at £55. Surely worth 60? 60 and 5. 70 and 5. 80 if you like?

-I don't believe this.

-Come on.

-Do I see 80 now?

Against you all, commission bid at £75.

I shall sell it. It's your last chance. At 75...

-Not as bad as you predicted! Not as bad.

-£75!

Where did they get that bidder from?

Unbelievable!

The fact of the matter is that you have made an overall profit, which is a considerable achievement.

-Fabulous.

-Don't say a word to the Reds, all right?

-We won't.

-Not a word to those boys.

What a rip-roaring success we've had today!

-Have you been chatting at all, you lot?

-No.

-Both teams are in profit today and how often does that happen on Bargain Hunt?

-Quite rare.

We don't have losers on Bargain Hunt, only runners-up,

and the runners-up, even though they're in profit, are the Blues.

-Oh, I knew it!

-It's a rotten programme, isn't it, really?

You make £31 profit on your first item and then gradually it goes down the drain from that moment on.

-We've loved having you on the show. I'll give you your £9 now to take away.

-Wow!

-We won't refer to the bonus buy at all, David.

-Why not? Why don't we just do that?

No, we'll move on. I can't bear the pain in your face. Well done. It was lovely to have you on the show.

But the victors today are the Reds who go home with £55.

-Yeah!

-£55 is what they call folding money and I hope you've had a nice time.

-Terrific.

-Fabulous.

-We've loved having you on the show.

-Join us soon for some more bargain hunting, yes?

-Yes!

I know you're thinking, "I could have done better than that."

Well, what's stopping you?

If you think you can spot a bargain, go to our BBC website and apply.

It'll be splendid to see you.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd 2012

Email [email protected]