Stafford 13 Bargain Hunt

Today, we're in Stafford at the Staffordshire County Showground.

We're in the heart of the pottery county, but will our teams

be bowled out by the quantity and quality of ceramics

they're going to be offered, or will their feet turn to clay?

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Let's go bargain hunting!

We've got two teams of friends today,

fired up and ready to go and bag all those bargains.

What's going to happen? I don't know,

but we're sure to have a blast!

Coming up, our cheapskate Blue team

can't decide whether to spend a penny...

-Ha!

-So you can put it in a garden, with a plant in, no?

-..or a pound.

-It's German porcelain, from the late 19th century

and the guy says he'll let us have it for...

-A pound.

-ALL: A pound?!

Our Reds from the RAF cause an international incident.

Can we try and be cheeky and get a few quid off

-cos it might make a difference?

-Couple of quid, yeah.

Can you? Just a little bit?

You could have that for £2.

But this is 20.

And I head off to beautiful Bath to check out

some canine-powered cuisine.

Honest, Guv. It used to happen like this.

But before all that, let's meet today's teams.

So, our two pairs of chums - at least they're friends so far - today

are Taylor and Ben, and for the Blues, Liz and Jill.

-Hello, everybody.

-ALL: Hello.

So, how did you boys meet, Taylor?

We joined up in the Royal Air Force. We've been in the same squadrons

and we've come back to finish off our training at the same time.

Is it very nerve-wracking

when you first go into the RAF as fresh recruits?

It is, yeah. But I've got family that was in the military

so they sort of eased me into it.

But it's not just life-sized aircraft

-that you're interested in, is it, Taylor?

-It's not, no.

I do enjoy collecting model aircraft, more specifically the Spitfire model.

What do you like so much about that?

Because it symbolises the RAF and the great things we've achieved.

So, Ben, what made you join the RAF?

I've always had an interest in the military, and especially aircraft.

No service background in the family, though?

-Well, my older brother is in the Army.

-Right.

But he obviously wasn't intelligent enough to be in the Air Force.

Well, he'll love you for that, won't he?!

But you've had some experience of auctions already, Ben.

Yeah, I used go to an auction in Grantham with my dad.

I didn't buy anything myself, I was too young. But I always enjoyed it.

-It's an atmospheric experience, isn't it?

-Oh, definitely.

So, what are your tactics going to be today? Spend all the money

-or spend as little as possible?

-As little as possible, hopefully.

-One of those. Anyway, we shall see. Very good luck.

-Thank you.

-So, girls, are you quaking in your boots?

-Very much so!

They're very cool.

They should be in the Blues and you should be in the Reds, right?

-Of course.

-No, we like blue. Matches our eyes.

-Oh, yes, of course it does.

Liz, you're a talented lady. What do you get up to?

Well, I'm a musician. I play several instruments and teach music.

I also play the vicar's organ.

-I beg your pardon?!

-In church.

Well, that's got to go down well in your parish(!)

-It does indeed.

-There'll be a lot of tittle-tattle

-going on where you come from.

-Well, I'm very naughty.

Are you? I think we've got a hint of that, darling.

Anyway, as long as he comes out of the vestry smiling,

-I suppose that's all you really bother about, isn't it?

-Quite.

Yes, quite right. Jill, you also work in schools, right?

-I do.

-What do you do there?

-I'm a teaching assistant.

I was a qualified teacher years ago, but now I work in an SEN department.

-And is that rewarding?

-It's very rewarding.

Challenging, in this day and age, but very rewarding.

Now, it says here that you're already a TV star. Is that right?

Yes, back in the day.

-What day?

-Quite a few days...

SHE LAUGHS

-Prehistoric!

-20, 30 years ago.

Really? What show were you on?

-It was Bob's Full House.

-Bob's Full House?

-It was.

-And I did actually win the Full House.

-Did you?

-I did.

-And was he nice with you, Bob Monkhouse?

-Bob Monkhouse was lovely.

He did say, because I had a pair of great big pink glasses on,

he said I looked like a pretty Deirdre Barlow, which I don't know

whether that was flattering or not.

He'd always have something to say.

Brilliant. What are you both going to be looking out for today,

to buy on Bargain Hunt and make a massive profit?

We're going to look for something unusual and interesting.

Do you like a bit of quirky?

-Yes.

-We love a bit of quirky.

Yes, and we have set our sights on buying one item that costs £1.

This is a cunning ploy.

We're following Anita Manning's example.

-She's very canny, isn't she?

-Yes, a Scot. Canny Scot.

We're not selling in Scotland, you know.

-We're staying in England for this programme.

-Oh.

Anyway, there we go.

Now, the money moment. You each get £300.

Here it is. You know the rules.

Your experts await.

And off you go! Very, very good luck.

Buying items for £1, eh? Well, I never did.

Taking charge of the Reds today

is Sheriff David Harper.

And looking out for the ladies -

is that JP? Jonathan Pratt?

I am your honorary officer for the day, so get marching down there.

So I have the bionic woman

and I'm with the most competitive women, I understand.

So, I'm looking for lots of speed and lots of haggling. OK?

-Do you like toys?

-I love toys.

-Good.

-Let's find some toy aeroplanes, shall we?

-Sounds really good fun.

-Let's see what we can find.

-No teddies.

-No, no.

Right chaps, we're on. The clock has started,

-and I can promise you it will go incredibly quickly.

-Right.

So here is a stall.

This is an antiques market. Here are some antiques.

Do your worst.

-Come on!

-Oh.

What do we think?

-I like this vase here.

-You like the vases?

OK, so what do you think we've got here?

Is that porcelain, would you say?

-It looks like it, yeah.

-No!

-Ah!

-It's metal.

-I wasn't expecting that.

-With an enamel overlay.

-Taylor, you like those.

-I like those, yeah.

-Tell me why you like them.

-It's just very attractive.

It's nice on the eye, very colourful and bright

and it looks like it would sit well in a household.

Very good. And you've got a pair, which makes a difference, Ben.

-Oh, definitely.

-A pair is always better than a single.

-Well, they always seem to do better.

-They do.

-Are they hand-painted as well?

-They are.

-That's brilliant.

They're Chinese, but they're not ancient.

What kind of era would you say?

I think you'd have to describe these as 20th century, to be really safe.

Because it's a minefield, these Chinese pieces. I'll get a price.

-75 quid for the pair.

-75 quid?

If I felt they were 19th century,

we would absolutely snap his hand off because they would be a bargain.

But they'd have to be described as 20th, which could mean some people

would think they were much more modern than the '20s or '30s.

So, you're falling into a bit of a trap there, potentially.

-Shall we just think about them for now?

-Think about them for now.

Is that OK if we think about them for now?

David's put a no-fly zone on those two(!)

The Blues, meanwhile, are working out their own flight plan.

Right, ladies, what are we looking for?

-Something decorative.

-Or a musical instrument!

Jewellery? It's a good thing to buy if you can get it

at the right price. But the only way to make money

out of it in this sort of game

-is to find something that has been unidentified.

-Yeah.

-Which is really difficult.

-You like jewellery, don't you?

-I do.

But, rooting through the contents of a house, I can find lots of stuff.

-Yeah.

-When I come here, it's a bit different.

It's hard to get it, yeah.

Look at these tights!

Need some tights.

I used to wear that colour.

Well, I wouldn't get too uptight about it, girls(!) Come along.

But the Reds really have got their eye on the game.

I really like this, I love backgammon.

Do you like the game or the box?

I love the game, I used to play my dad all the time.

But the box is really... I've never seen one that size.

It's a good-looking box. Taylor, what do you feel about it?

I don't know. It's absolutely stunning.

-What do you like about it?

-It looks like an Aztec look.

The whole Aztec theme, you know. Brilliantly decorated.

You are absolutely right.

You see, you say Aztec design in its influence, so that's South America.

Ben, what design do you think it might be,

what part of the world could it be from?

-Vietnam sort of area.

-OK.

-Far East.

-OK. Well, I tell you what.

If you take South America and then you take the Far East and Vietnam

and both set off at the same time, you would probably meet.

-Are we going to Africa?

-In India.

You would probably meet somewhere in the middle, yes.

So that's what it is. It's positively Indian.

It's a very, very good size.

And you've got the chessboard on the top.

So it'll fold out and sit on the table and you can play chess.

Look at the way it's constructed! It is absolutely exquisite.

You've got mother of pearl, ebony, fruitwood, bone...

It's not ivory, I don't think, cos you can see tiny little black spots

within the white, creamy material, which would indicate that it's bone.

It's not a 19th century thing, I think it's a 20th century piece.

But it's still good quality.

So, what kind of money is it? It's priced at 60.

If we could get a little bit of discount...

We'll speak to this gentleman here with a very nice shirt, I must say.

-Is he...? And a cravat!

-That's a fantastic cravat.

You have got style! What would be the best price?

50 quid.

50 quid's a good price for that. Anglo-Indian.

-Will you chuck that cravat in?

-No.

Well, in that case, I might have to wipe my hands.

I think it's cracking, absolutely cracking. Happy with that?

Yes, definitely.

-Shall we call it our first purchase?

-I think we should.

-Yes!

Thank you very much. 50 quid.

Marvellous. You two chaps will be passing with flying colours.

The Blues, however, are still preparing for take-off.

Ladies?

-This chap over here is a house-clearer.

-Fantastic!

-This is my favourite sort of stall.

-Yes.

Because, basically, it means he's bought a whole lot of stuff

and he hasn't necessarily put a price on everything.

-I haven't put a price on...

-On anything?

-I work on my...

Yeah, it's work in motion. It's progress.

-So, whatever you say, he'll go for?

-Yeah.

No! Not whatever HE says, whatever I say!

House clearance?

I smell bargains!

Now, you know, sometimes stalls just stop me in my tracks

and I just like the feel of something.

And I've got to say, this is a stall that I like the feel of.

There are several items I can see instantly that I'd be drawn to.

It's an interesting mix.

I was looking at these plates. I quite like them.

OK, let's have a look at these. £20.

They're interesting little things, aren't they? Very nicely decorated.

Possibly described as Kutani wear. Japanese, circa 1900.

Porcelain and then with enamel paint. Bonny things.

Birds, representing longevity and love.

There's always symbolism involved in Chinese and Japanese pieces.

And they are a lovely pair of hand-painted plates.

With some maker's mark on the back here.

These things were made, I would say, for the Western market.

Because after about 1860, we just loved anything Japanese and Chinese.

But, Ben, tell me,

-what do you feel about it?

-I'm a bit suspicious as to what

-these birds are doing here.

-HE LAUGHS

That is absolutely, totally innocent. They're two love birds.

-They're just sat on a tree having a little chat.

-Yeah.

-So, you've got a pair. A pair is always good.

-Yeah, it is.

-Much better than a single.

-Yeah, it is, yeah. £20, as well.

It's very beautifully painted, as you say. Nice pottery.

I really like them. The thing is, it's all about making a bit of money

-and I think there's every chance of making some money.

-I agree.

Shall we be cheeky, try to get a few quid off?

-Cos it might make a difference.

-Couple of quid, yeah.

-Shall we try?

No harm in trying, is there?

I think we'll just say, "Look, whatever she says."

Now, then. Can you just...? Just a little bit?

-I'm going away, now.

-Oh, come back. Just a little.

You could have that for £2.

But this is 20.

So, £20 for the pair?

Hmm. Really good, that.

-I think we should definitely do it.

-I do as well.

-OK, boys.

-Good luck.

Good. Nice. Number two, brilliant!

The chaps are doing really well.

Bearing in mind they are fish out of water,

they're swimming along quite nicely. I'm really pleased.

We've got 20 minutes left. Let's get one more item.

-More than enough time.

-Easily enough time.

-Let's smash this.

-We can do this.

-Yeah.

-Hit me.

Nice moves, chaps. But will you sink or swim?

Now, while the Blues have been chatting up the owner

of the house-clearance stall, JP has found something interesting.

This thing here is a book press, I'm assuming.

It's cast iron and it will be middle part of the 19th century, I suppose.

-Yeah.

-It has what the trade call honest look.

It's come from a garage, a shed, a loft, an attic, an outbuilding...

-Tools can be very popular.

-We like it!

-Would you take...?

-I mean, are you open to offers?

-What I allowed for it...

How I usually work is I want to make half as much again.

And I try and leave somebody else half as much again as well.

-I like the sound of that.

-THEY LAUGH

I've got to get £60 for it, to stay at my half as much again.

Well, it's certainly...

What about halfway?

If I work at any less...

I mean, obviously, sometimes I drop lucky.

But I've outlaid a lot of money and I've got to try and recoup

that money before I can start letting things go cheap, really.

Do you think £60 is a good price for that?

-I think it's in the realms of being realistic.

-Yeah.

Of the things I've seen so far,

it's the object which I think, potentially, is a good profit.

-Let's go for it.

-Brilliant.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

Wish us luck!

First item in the bag, girls. Time to press on, eh?

Do you know what, I'm going to nip round the back

and have a quick look, because I think this is an ideal

sort of place to start finding things.

Hope you don't mind, I'm just helping myself now!

No, that's all right.

JP's going nowhere.

He thinks he's found a gold mine!

Meanwhile, David Harper is steering our RAF boys towards

-some Air Force memorabilia.

-Oh, I say!

-There we go, military cap badges.

-Oh, now this is you two, isn't it?

There's a couple of RAF cap badges here.

That's the Air Training Corps, that's the Cadets.

Right. What we're looking at here

-are reasonably ordinary cap badges, I think.

-Yeah.

10 quid, £15, £20...

What we would need to buy for an auction is something really special.

Something a bit rarer, to warrant a nice description

-and a single lotting.

-Yeah.

I just think, here... I'm not getting a good feel.

OK, you're not getting a good feel. Come on.

March on, chaps. 20 minutes left.

Now, I wonder if Jonathan has unearthed some treasure.

Here we have some chess sets.

And chess is really collectable

and quality sets are not easy to come by.

-Is there no board?!

-You don't need a board, don't worry about it.

No, no, you can sell them without boards. I mean, look at that.

-He's lovely!

-I think we should have an animal theme, don't you?

-There's a little lion on it.

-Just check condition. Condition is key.

You're definitely anti the urinal, then?

-I just thought it was good in a garden.

-I quite like that!

Yeah, what about the urinal? I mean, millions of pounds,

is it Marcel Duchamp or something? His sold for that.

So you can put it in a garden with a plant in, no?

Are the Blues taking the peony, or what?

Yes, yes.

I think it could look quite nice!

What do you girls know about urinals, then?

Maybe you should ask the dealer to hold onto it for a while.

We've got two complete sets there.

-The one I like most is that one on the left.

-Yes.

-OK, what's the best price on it?

-£40.

Sorry.

Don't forget the girls, JP!

-I'm sorry.

-You're on a roll!

-I like, I just really like...

-We are here!

-Can I have that box with that set?

-Of course you can.

-Brilliant.

I would, personally, I would buy these for myself for 40 quid,

-every day.

-Yeah.

I mean, I've been looking for a really good quality set and I'm...

I'm rather annoyed, actually, that I'm not allowed to keep them.

-I know! Aww, that's a shame.

-Woe betide you if they lose money.

They're for us, they're for us.

-Yeah.

-Blue team!

Seems like "me, me, me" to me, JP!

I know you're excited, but you must let the girls have a go.

-Right, so we've got two items now.

-Yes.

-About 15 minutes to go.

-Easy.

-Really good. Thank you.

-Thank you.

Gosh, quarter of an hour left

and our aeronautical geniuses have nothing on their radar.

Right, the final item, the big one.

-Definitely.

-Come on, boys!

-There's so much choice.

-I know, I know.

-So much to look at.

So much to look at, so little time and so little money.

The Blues have left their favourite stall behind.

It's really wonderful to see them really use Jonathan's expertise.

-Do you like the handbags, then?

-Yeah.

-Oh, I love handbags(!)

-But then I haven't got the right shoes today.

-Does this go?

Ten minutes, team!

Time really is ticking, now.

-Oh, he's heavy!

-Gosh, he's heavy!

Very heavy, isn't he? What's he? Oh, look. I love him!

-Jonathan!

-Sorry, I was just looking at some jewellery.

-It's not an RAF travel trunk, by any chance, is it?

-No, I don't think so.

Liz, eight minutes left. Put the earrings down!

-Let's keep going, keep looking.

-Come on, Jonathan!

-Eh?

There's only eight minutes. Get a move on.

JP just can't stay away.

He's leading those girls back to that house-clearance stall.

-Right. Are we going for this urinal?

-We're back again!

When I asked you to get him to hold it, ladies, I was only joking.

-How much for the urinal?

-I'd like 150 for it.

I knew it was good, you see.

Jonathan, have we got enough money?

Cos we may not leave you with anything.

-But you bought the chess set.

-Absolutely.

-On your own head.

I was going to say, "I wash my hands of this," but...

-I'd rather not, actually.

-You wash everything else in public.

Er, you know...

It's that little bit too much for us.

Four minutes, girls.

I think that idea has gone down the pan.

You're going to have to let JP pull it out of the bag.

Or a box will do.

Now, wash your hands.

Is there anything?

-Anything else that you could...?

-Anything else under here?

There we go, ladies. What you've got here is a German porcelain plate

from the late 19th century, pretty decorative, fine quality...

And if the guy says he'll let us have it for...

A pound.

ALL: A pound?!

-Oh, you're on!

-We wanted a pound.

I'm not going to say anything but just shake the man's hand,

and that's it, we're done.

-Thank you very much.

-You are a star.

-You've saved our lives today.

What would we have done without you?

-And you, of course.

-Yeah, thanks.

Aww, JP. They'd have been lost without you!

And talking of being lost, after a flying start,

the RAF boys are now lacking direction.

Come on! Three and a half minutes.

And that's it. If we don't find anything,

-you've got two items.

-What's this?

-Is it some kind of fancy helmet?

It looks... It's a bit like a deep-sea diver's helmet, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-It's got that kind of shape to it.

-Yeah, it has.

It's definitely got everything to do with the sea.

And it's missing something really fundamental.

It's got a little compartment here, which should open.

And you'd have a little burner, or a candle,

which would shed light through here.

That would be attached to something on a boat

and you'd look down and look at the ship's compass.

The compass would be sat inside that glass lens there

and that would be the compass

to know exactly where you were going at any time, day or night.

-We could rabbit on all day. Do you like it?

-I do.

-One minute.

-Oh, OK.

-Let's get a price.

-Quickly.

Hi there, a quick price on this, please. A trade price?

-Best I can do is 45.

-45?

-Yeah, that's the best.

You'll do well on that, should do well on that.

OK, we've got 50 seconds. What about that glass bird? How much is he?

-Do it for 95.

-95? OK.

Here we go, boys. You've got 30 seconds.

Are you going to have a ship's compass without the compass

-or a big blob of a glass bird?

-THEY LAUGH

-Well, the blob...

-Is a blob.

-But I think this is probably going to fetch the most.

-Yeah.

-Have you got a coin on you?

-I've got a pound coin.

Heads or tails?

Heads, go for that.

-Tails, go for that.

-Do it.

-Heads.

-What are you going for?

-It's heads, the compass.

-We'll have the compass.

And we've got ten seconds to spare. Thank you very much.

Chaps, well done. Down to the wire.

Very impressive. You work well under pressure.

-Thank you.

-Cup of tea?

-I think so.

-You've got a quid, come on.

-I have? Where is it?

That's it! Time's up.

Smashing shopping, teams.

What did the Reds buy?

The boys were delighted with the gaming board,

which they paid £50 for.

A pair of Japanese enamel plates cost them £20.

And will this ship's compass without compass

find its way home at auction?

-Which is your favourite piece?

-The backgammon board.

-Do you agree with that?

-I do, definitely.

-Very good.

And is that going to bring the biggest profit?

I don't think so, I think the plates will, probably.

-Really?

-I think so.

And you spent a magnificent total of...

£115.

-On all three pieces.

-Yes.

£185 of left-over lolly, please.

Thank you. I trust you. You're an officer and a gentleman.

-Here we go.

-Thank you.

What are you going to do with that?

Well, I think I've got to try and find something suitable,

something that just matches.

-Pale blue, perhaps?

-Could be.

Possibly. You never know, Tim.

-Brylcreem boys. We all need some of that.

-Well, I don't.

No you don't. Aw, David, never mind.

Anyway, God bless you all.

Meanwhile, why don't we check out what the Blue team bought, eh?

Our bubbly blondes paid £60 on their first buy,

the cast-iron book press. Handy.

Jonathan put the girls in check with his early 20th century

boxwood and ebony chess set.

Checkmate!

They could have spent a pretty penny on this piece of porcelain,

but instead spent 100 pennies

on this 19th century German porcelain plate.

Have they stopped laughing all day, these girls?

-Or talking, for that matter?

-No, no.

What did you spend overall?

101.

-I'd like £199 of left-over lolly.

-Yes, Liz has got that.

-Has she?

-In her pocket.

-£199 goes across to Jonathan.

I must say, you're looking incredibly smart today.

-Is that a new jacket?

-It's funny you should ask that, Tim.

Explain.

-This jacket was worn by Warren Beatty.

-Get away!

In a film called The Only Game In Town, in 1969.

-Never!

-And he wore it at the wedding.

-Did he really?

-Is that true?

-The very same?

-So you are the same build?

-I'm exactly the same build.

-I thought Warren Beattie was bigger!

-Well, not then - he was only 20!

-He was always handsome.

-We all fill out, don't you know(!)

-Well, it does look extraordinarily nice.

-Yes.

Have a nice cup of tea, girls.

Meanwhile, we're heading off

to Barth - or Bath, if you like,

down the Crescent, the Royal Crescent. Number 1.

Bath in the 18th century was a thriving spa

and leisure destination for the wealthy and well-to-do.

Houses like this, Number 1 Royal Crescent, would be host

throughout the season to gentry, who would gather to enjoy the social

engagements and scrumptious feasts in these magnificent surroundings.

No amount of enjoyment for those posh folks upstairs

would have been possible without a lot of work first, downstairs.

The engine room for all this downstairs activity would be

a space like this. A kitchen.

Fitted with the top-of-the-range range of kitchen fittings.

Cooking implements to die for.

Including this most eye-catching fellow here,

which is a form of canine turnspit.

Honest, Guv, it used to happen like this.

You'd have a treadmill, and insert into it a particular

breed of dog and encourage it to spin the wheel,

which would turn the cable and the cable would then turn the wheel

on the end of the spit - hence turnspit,

with all those lovely lumps of meat on the top.

But in some households, though,

that perhaps cared rather more for their pets and dogs,

they went for an engine like this, which is gravity powered.

It would have had a lead weight that yanked on this cord,

the governor on the top turns and ultimately connects with the spit.

Clever, isn't it?

But that requires winding up perhaps once every 20 minutes.

The latest development in spit engines, later in the 18th

and early part of the 19th century, was one of these things.

A clockwork spit engine,

that in this case is suspended in a gadget called a hastener.

You'd hang it on that hook, connect it up with the clockwork motor

so that it would revolve and then pick up the whole

of this device, spin it round and put it in front of the fire.

Then the radiant heat from the fire itself would cook the outer surface

of the bit of meat, and also that heat would heat up

the back of the metal bit, which would radiate heat

into the back of the joint so that it's getting cooked at least

twice as quickly as if it only had the heat hitting it on one surface.

The other interesting thing to note is that underneath these

cooking devices are incredible trays to collect all that fat

and dripping from the cooked meat.

And what would you do with all that fat?

Well, have you seen the light yet?

The very simplest form of light would have been

a thing like this, crudely made of wrought iron.

It's a rush light, and some of that molten fat

and tallow from the cooking process could have been added

into a reservoir here and then simply a dried rush laid

over the top and then the protruding bit ignited.

Apart from giving you a very low grade of light,

it would make this unbelievable smell.

Because all that cooking juice, gravy-type stuff,

is what's being ignited on the end

and it would give off clouds of stench.

And if it's not smells, it's rodents.

They've got here some brilliant amateur-made anti-mice devices.

Take this thing. It never hit the commercial market, this.

This was simply run up by the local chippy.

You'd persuade the mouse to come up this nice dark hole,

probably a tasty piece of Cheddar down the end.

Old Mousy comes up there,

he walks over this plate,

which is connected up to a piece of string to a block above,

he trips the plate and...

Oops!

Oh, dear. Poor old Mousy has been flattened by a great block.

Of course, the big question today for our teams

over at the auction is, will they get caught in a trap?

Well, we've popped to Richard Winterton's auction house

in Lichfield to be with Richard Winterton.

-Richard, morning!

-Welcome to you, Tim.

-Grand to be here. Now, Taylor and Ben, they're excited.

-Are they?

They're excited about this games board, actually.

-How excited are you about this games board?

-Not tremendously.

A lot of work to it, which is, you know...

I don't want to down it too much, but it's just a bit garish

-and a bit...

-Not much age, then?

-Not much at all, I wouldn't have said.

-No.

-What do you think it will bring?

-50 to 70, somewhere in that region.

-OK, fine. Well, they paid £50.

-I think we've got half a chance.

-We're in the money, there, aren't we?

-Yeah.

Now, the so-called Kutani Japanese plates.

I don't think these are any more Kutani than you are, frankly.

But they are Japanese. They are very, very, very poor quality.

-Churned out in their thousands.

-Took the word out of my mouth.

-But not worth thousands.

-Fifteen pounds.

-If you're lucky.

-If you're lucky.

-On a good day.

Yeah, I think I might be selling in £1, 2, 3, 4 and see where we go.

Well, you're very kind to even take them on board because

you wouldn't make an individual lot of them, would you?

No, crikey, no. Box of odds, yeah.

OK, now, we're a long way from the sea here, right?

So how do nautical fittings work in Lichfield?

It's decorative.

But no-one really wants this kind of brassy thing...

Don't know what they'll do. Might put a candle in it,

something different.

Yes, put a nightlight in it for a child, give them a nightmare.

-We're in?

-I don't know.

-Nightlight.

They paid £45, will they turn a profit?

We put 30 to 40.

Touch and go, I wouldn't be surprised if we get there.

Touch and go.

If it's touch and go, they're going to need their bonus buy,

so let's go and have a look at it.

Taylor, Ben, the moment you've been waiting for.

Sadly, you can't be with us today, because the RAF

have given you leave, but you haven't pitched up yet.

We were rather hoping you were flying in.

You gave David Harper £185. David, what did you spend it on?

Well, Taylor and Ben, when I saw this I just thought of you two.

-It's a big old bottle of beer, that's what.

-It certainly is.

Is it local?

Its Bass and it's Prince of Wales Brewery, 1929.

-So it's like vintage ale.

-It's vintage ale.

Now, I have a client, Tim,

that spends thousands of pounds on vintage wine.

-Yes.

-It's very collectable.

It's ancient, it's never been opened, and you can still smell it.

Yeah, lovely. You smell that, mate. Lovely. Stick that up your corset.

No, thanks.

-Anyway, Dave, what did you pay?

-30 quid.

-£30.

Let's check out what the auctioneer thinks.

Now, here we go. This must be an incredibly rarity.

No?

We're only ten miles away from where it was brewed.

That's what David Harper's hoping.

-But we see hundreds and hundreds of them.

-You don't do you?

-Loads, and in better condition than that.

-Oh. What will it make?

-£20.

-OK, well David Harper paid £30.

I think you might be in trouble, there.

Well, there's optimism from the auctioneer today.

-Good start.

-That's it for the Reds, now for the Blues.

Completely different. We go with that book press, which weighs a ton.

These have made money.

You know, with it all blacked up and all done up,

-they do sell...

-Yes.

-..surprisingly.

And if they can't sell it, well, go and scrap it.

-Melt the thing down.

-Whatever way, at least we'll get something for it.

It's a difficult one, isn't it, because it's very much

a bit of Victorian library kit,

but you could use it for pressing flowers, couldn't you?

Or that kind of thing.

If you fancied a few natural history specimens, or entertain the kids.

-What's your estimate?

-I've got 30 to 40 on it.

-Ah. £60 paid.

-Anyway, we live in hope.

-We do.

Next up is the chess set. Do you rate it?

-We've actually rated it quite a bit. We've put £100 on it.

-How much?

-We've put £100.

-Well, very good.

I mean, some of these Staunton, weighted, top-quality box

and ebony chessman can make £200 or £300, can't they?

You can even put a nought on, can't you? They can be up to 1,000 plus.

At the very top end of it, quite. They want a bit of restoration.

Got the box, got the label. £40, they paid.

-Wow.

-That's amazing, isn't it?

-Yeah, they've done well with that.

-Good.

And the last item, I'm truly ashamed, has been brought to you.

It's a £1 plate.

That's a cheeky thing for them to do.

So, there we are. All fair in love and war.

Overall, I think the chess set's going to do very well.

I don't think they'll need their bonus buy,

but let's have a look at it, anyway.

Elizabeth and Jill, you gave the boy £199, which is a heck of a lot...

-We were kind.

-Very generous.

-A heck of a lot of money, £199.

I'm going to help you out, here, by removing your rag.

-Thank you very much.

-One, two, three.

-Well!

-Well...

-I saw this, and I thought of you.

-We thought that.

-Should we be insulted, do you think?

-What do you think?

What do you think it is?

I think it's quite interesting.

A fish and chip sign! And how much?

-£50 paid.

-£50.

-Is that all?

-Right.

You gave him £199, which is a cool amount of money,

and he spent 50 of it.

-I do actually quite like it.

-You do like it?

-It's a bit different.

In a modern room, I can see it. It's decorative.

This is quite Damien Hirst, isn't it?

If you've got an old dead sheep,

and you put it in a box like that, could be worth several million.

These weren't made commercially for general use at home...

Only for fish and chip shops.

So there's a limited number of them.

I'm just concerned how much profit's it going to make? Come on, Jonathan.

I could stick my neck out and say you could see certainly

double-digit profits, and you might double its money.

I reckon it could really run.

And on that happy note, why don't we see what the auctioneer thinks

about the fish and chippy sign?

-OK, Richard. Frying tonight.

-I can see it selling. I really can.

It's that sort of thing which is in at the moment,

because the youngsters these days are bored with all the boring

stuff that we have coming through.

-Anything Dad had.

-They want something different. That's different.

OK, then. Put a price on it. Do your worst.

OK, we put 30 to 40, and I would not be surprised if we double that.

-How much?

-30 to 40.

-Jonathan paid £50.

I think it's a super item.

I think it's a great buy.

-Are you on the rostrum today?

-I am indeed.

We're in safe hands. I like a bit of fish and chips.

£5. £5, madam.

£8. £10, £12.

It's yours, sir, at £12.

Taylor, Ben. This is your moment. We're on the edge, here.

This is clearly exciting, now. I wish you'd stop quivering.

-Here we go, look.

-Come on, Taylor and Ben.

First up, that backgammon case.

Well, we're starting the bidding. Where are we going to start?

£50? £40? £20 to start me.

-£20, £20.

-Don't worry, guys.

Start me at £20?

£20 I'm bid. 25. 30. 35.

-40.

-Yes, come on! Come on.

At £40. At £40, all done at 40.

-Sorry about this.

-Oh, no, no, no.

-Sold at £40.

-Yours, then, at £40.

-£40 is minus £10. Not so good.

Now, the Kutani enamelled plates,

here they come.

Start again, at £10 to start me. £10?

£10 to start me, the plates at £10. I'm in your hands, at £10 on these.

£10? £10, thank you, madam, at £10.

I think it's just as well they're not here, Dave.

£14.

-Come on!

-At £14, I'm bid at 14.

We have £15 now. £15.

-Yes, come on.

-At £15, right there at £15.

-Yours at 15...

-Minus £5.

Minus a fiver, sorry, boys.

Yeah, anyway, there we go. Minus 15 is our total.

Standby for the binnacle cover. Here it comes.

343, there we go. 343.

I'm £5 bid. Bit of commission on this one.

5, 10, 15, 18, £20.

£20, 25, 28, £30.

5? 35. You're out, sir. 38?

Go on!

Nope, 35. Right away at 35.

Go on, we need it.

Back at 35. 35. 35. 38.

-Yes!

-£38 now.

-It's a good object.

-That's a bargain, that is.

And sold, then, at £38.

£38. You are on minus £7, all right?

So you are minus £22 all round, you dummies.

Anyway, just as well the real people aren't here.

We could get thumped now.

Anyway, they've got the choice of either going with the ale

or not going with the ale.

They're not here to make that decision.

So, the lads are going to say to you, "No!"

-They're going to say no.

-No!

-Definitely no, we don't like the look of this.

-That's ridiculous!

£30 for a pint of old ale is far, far too much.

You've paid much more than that in your time!

Lot 307, the 1929 Prince of Wales bottle, there, with £10 to start me.

-£10, nothing on my book.

-Nothing on the book?

£10? £5?

Nothing with me, I'm in your hands. £5, madam. £5 I have.

£5. £7. £8.

£9. £10.

Come on!

£10 on my left, at £10.

-£10,

-£10. It's unopened!

At £10. £12?

All finished. Sold, £10.

-No, no.

-Yes!

-No, no...

-Yes, yes!

Yes, yes, yes, yes! £10.

Overvalued by 20, equals zero,

because they didn't take the bonus buy, cos I decided it.

-You're a winner.

-Yeah. Overall, they are minus £22.

-Now, minus £22 could be a winning score today.

-Yes.

And I can rely on you not to talk to the Blues, because you're not here.

-Liz and Jill, have you been chatting to the boys?

-No.

-No.

-Not at all.

I'm not surprised, because they're not here.

-I haven't seen them.

-I know.

Now, your chess set which brilliantly Jonathan Pratt

paid £40 for, he's estimated £100 to £200.

-Fantastic!

-Ooh, wow! Well done, Jonathan.

And if all else fails, we have the renowned

fish and chip sign to fall back on.

-Yes.

-I like that.

-OK? Happy with this, girls?

-Yes, very happy.

-This is very exciting.

We're standing on the edge.

And here we go, with the book press.

I'll start the bidding at £40.

£40 I'm bid. 40. 50, 60. With me at £60.

-At £60, I'm bid at 60.

-Come on, come on!

-At £60. At £60. 5 anywhere?

-Go on, go on! No!

-Sold at 60.

-Uh-oh.

Wiped its face, £60. No profit, no loss. No shame, no pain. Love it.

OK, moving forward.

And the chess pieces, commission bid on the books starting at 60.

-Oh, Jonathan. Oh, yes.

-Well done, Jonathan.

90, 100. 100 I'm bid, 100.

-Commission bid. Top bids now.

-Go on!

At 100. At £100, all in at 100.

Sold then, at £100. Goes at 100.

Checkmate! That is just the business.

-£100.

-Well done.

-£60 profit.

-Fantastic.

-I love it.

Now, the German plate.

We have £5 to start me? £5 I'm bid. £6?

-Yes!

-On my right at £6.

£6, on my right at £6, at £6.

Anyone else?

No, more! Come on, more!

Sold, £6.

£65 you are, plus.

What are you doing about the fish and chips? Quick!

-Gosh! Oh, what do you think?

-He's quick, this auctioneer.

-Jonathan, help us here.

-Come on, help us.

-No, he can't help you.

It's against the rules. Make a decision.

-What shall we do? Come on, Tim.

-Quickly!

-No then?

-No. We'll ring-fence.

-No. We love it, but no. Perhaps.

-You're not going to do it?

-I do like it.

-Oh, go on.

Are you going to go with it or not? Quickly!

-Well, yeah, because we've still got...

-Quickly!

-OK, then we will.

We will. We've changed our minds.

-Lovely.

-It's my fault if we lose.

-You're going with the bonus buy, the decision is made.

-We are.

And we're going to sell it. Here it comes now. Crikey, Moses.

Commission bids in.

30, 5, 40, 5, and 50.

-£50, I'm bid. 50, at £50.

-More!

-Just one more!

-At £50. Do we have 5?

-£50, I'm bid. At 50. All finished, then, at £50?

-I don't believe it.

Done and dusted, and sold at £50. Goes home at 50.

£50, wiped its face.

Now, listen, you can't talk to the boys,

but if they do fly in, in just a moment, don't say a word to them.

And all will be revealed in a moment. Thanks, girls.

22, 25. Right away at £30. 32, 35. Sold then at 35...

Oh, hello! Look! Here they come! It's Taylor and Ben!

How are you? It's very nice to see you, Taylor. Well done, Ben.

-Good to see you.

-So, what's the story, then?

Did the RAF not let you off?

No, we're under continuous assessment over the next

couple of days, so we just managed to sneak away in time.

You won't fail your exams, or anything like that, will you?

Oh, no, no. We're both far too professional for that.

Far too professional. You missed a great auction.

-So you don't know how you've done?

-We've not got a clue.

-The girls haven't been talking to you about it, because you've not been here.

-No.

So this is a bit of a turnaround for Bargain Hunt.

Anyway, your score overall is minus £22.

Good score, boys. Well done!

Which could be the winning score. But sadly it wasn't a winning score,

because today the victors are the girls.

Wow!

-The girls are going home with £65.

-No way!

-Go, girls!

-£65 in their handbags.

And because we're being so incredibly generous today,

and lovely to you girls, I'm slightly bending the rules.

You got two profits and two wiped faces,

but on that achievement alone you are entitled...

That's not fair at all!

..to the ancient and venerable order of Golden Gavellers.

-Go on, take a pin, love.

-I shall wear it with pride.

-With pride. And Jonathan gets one!

-I get one, yes, for my collection.

Yes, you do, for your collection. Don't you be so cocky, either.

There we go.

Anyway, it was just bad luck, chaps. It was not your day today.

But I give you almost a Golden Gavel for turning up

-and making the effort.

-Thank you.

No, seriously, it's not been easy for you, so thank you.

Anyway, we've had such a great time.

Join us soon for some more bargain hunting, yes?

ALL: YES!

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