Kedleston 15 Bargain Hunt

Today we're in the grounds of Kedleston Hall.

What could be more delightful? So let's go bargain-hunting! Yeah!

Derbyshire was once home to Florence Nightingale,

known as the Lady of the Lamp.

Let's hope that her influence today will be here

to illuminate our teams

as they squelch through the mud in search of their bargains.

So, coming up...

The Reds have a minor disagreement.

Do we have a little marital disharmony? Let's keep out of this!

THEY LAUGH

Whilst the Blues make the most out of today's conditions.

# Mud, mud, glorious mud

# There's nothing quite like it for cooling the blood... #

-But will our teams be singing and celebrating after the auction?

-Yes!

We've got two teams looking for healthy profits today.

For the Reds, we've got Glenys and Toto

and for the Blues, Jane and Paul. Hello, everyone.

-Hello.

-Very nice to see you. Glenys, how did you two lovebirds meet?

We met in a pub. I was pulling pints and he pulled me.

HE LAUGHS

-Was it very romantic?

-Not at all. SHE LAUGHS

So what's the most romantic thing that Tony's ever done?

He tried very hard once to surprise me with a ride, a train ride,

on the Midnight Express, from Moscow to St Petersburg. It was hideous.

-Oh, no. That's awful.

-It WAS in the old Russia.

You both have an interest in antiques. What do you collect, Toto?

I collect inkwells. I tend to pick them up wherever we go on holiday.

-How many have you got?

-Er...

-Over 50.

-52 is the last count.

That's a fair old number. Glenys, what do you collect?

I collect things that are useful or beautiful.

-Well, you're going to be in heaven today, then.

-Very much, yes.

Watch out, Kedleston! The Reds are coming! Good luck.

-So, Jane, where did you two meet?

-Well, we met at a '60s festival in Ayr, in Scotland.

I was there on holiday

and Paul came out on stage, doing a tribute to Roy Orbison.

And I thought, "Beautiful voice." But I couldn't see his eyes because of the dark glasses.

So I had to get in close.

-And you got in close and...caramba!

-Yes. It was wow and pizzazz.

But when he came off stage, I did what any sensible woman would do - I sent my mother in first!

HE LAUGHS

So over she went, had a little chat. She said, "He seems very nice."

How sweet. You were still being chaperoned.

Mother's always right, so I like to check.

Tell us about this performing skill, Paul. How did all that start?

I've been a professional singer since I was in my early 20s.

I was lucky enough to be playing in a band on a boat

and a passenger said, "You sound like Roy Orbison."

I had no idea. So we learnt a couple of Roy Orbison songs for him, made his holiday

and within six months I was making a career out of it.

So what do you know about antiques?

-Very little.

-Not so much?

Armchair antiques expert.

Yeah, that couch potato approach.

Watch Bargain Hunt and criticise from afar.

-You've taught us all we know, Tim.

-This is going to be a big test.

Now the money moment. £300 apiece. Here's your £300. There you go.

-Thank you.

-You know the rules.

Your experts await. Off you go! And very, very good luck!

We're going to have some fun today with this lot!

Our expert for the Reds today is the light-footed Anita Manning.

-Och, aye!

-SHE LAUGHS

And for the Blues, we should have Philip Serrell. Anybody seen him?

Phil? Such a baby.

-Oh, yeah.

-What do you reckon?

That's another fine mess you've gotten me into.

You can say that again, Paul.

-I can't compete with this.

-JANE AND PAUL LAUGH

Where do they get these people from?

More to the point, where do we get our experts from?

Now are those Reds behaving themselves?

They're a bit rude!

Nutcrackers.

Yes.

-You like them?

-GLENYS AND TOTO LAUGH

They do seem to draw me to them. I don't know why.

I think it's cos you're a man!

-They do seem to sell well.

-They do.

They're all crackers today.

In my eyes, this stuff is so undervalued. I think these things are absolutely fantastic.

-Don't let her get any closer than that.

-Do you break things?

-I do.

I don't know what it is. I just drop it.

Then we'll leave that well alone.

Let's go and have a whizz outside.

That's a cracking idea, Phil.

Now what's Phil 'arvesting for those Blues?

We've had about ten minutes now. I like that.

-Ooh, yeah.

-What's that?

-A tractor seat or an implement seat.

That's Blackstone. They made agricultural engines, machines.

These seats can be hugely collectable. People buy them and paint them, which ruins the look.

-The other thing people do is turn them into seats.

-Yeah.

If you put a steel pole down and a base, you've got a kitchen seat.

-Or a garden seat.

-Yeah, whatever. That's probably off a tractor.

Rare ones can be worth thousands.

-Wow.

-Is that rare? I haven't a clue.

I suspect it probably isn't because it's 70 quid.

Sir, how old's this? Roughly.

-It's about 1900 to 1920s.

-I think that's a nice thing.

At auction, you'd estimate that at £40-60.

Who would you like to haggle with? Me or the attractive lady?

- 45. - I love it.

-You love it?

-I love it.

-Then we've got to buy it.

-I shouldn't have said that.

Know what's more important?

-She can't break it.

-Unbreakable!

-Yeah.

-Absolutely.

-That's great.

-Absolutely.

-VENDOR: Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

I think that's really wicked.

We've had 15 minutes. You wanted daft, dangerous and unbreakable, and we've done it.

-You described Jane to a T there.

-Now, now, Paul.

First item all sewn up. Well done, Blues. Plough on!

Meanwhile, how are the Reds getting on?

These are cufflinks.

And they've got a very nice, modernist look about them.

They're Swarovski Crystals.

These are popular and very expensive in the shops. What do you think, Glenys?

-How much are they?

-They're a bargain - £5.

-£5!

-£5?!

-You'd certainly make a profit.

HE LAUGHS

These have a nice look about them and at £5...!

-You can't lose a lot.

-You can't lose a lot.

-I think you could make some money on these.

-I'd go for them.

Would you? I'm not too sure.

-You wouldn't wear them, that's why.

-Are you a more traditional man?

-I am.

-He likes gold.

-I like gold.

-Don't we all?

-GLENYS AND TOTO LAUGH

We'll certainly make a profit.

Do we have a little marital disharmony? Melody, let's keep out of this.

Maybe what you should be saying is, "Can you do a wee bit better?"

What could you do for us on those?

Well, seeing as it's your team and I want you to win, £3.

- Done! - You've GOT to make a profit!

How can you NOT buy them at £3?

-I think an executive decision has been made.

-Yes, it has!

-It leaves you more money to spend.

-I shall spend a lot later.

I think your wife has just probably made you a wee profit. Or a big one.

Well, it might well be, Anita, but I think Tony was outnumbered there. Your first item, Reds.

But have those Blues just found item number two?

-How much is your little table, please?

-15.

15. Like me,

-it's seen better days.

-LAUGHTER

-Do you like that?

-I do.

Is it a bit... Am I allowed to say bog-standard?

You can.

-There's a little worm who likes it.

-There's no extra charge for livestock.

-Could you hang on to that for about half an hour?

-Sure.

We might not buy it, but we might.

-But you've got something tucked up your sleeve.

-£5 would be brilliant.

-Behave.

-No.

-Would a tenner do it?

-A tenner would do. I was just going to say that.

You hang on to it for us.

-That's fine.

-And we'll be back.

You're welcome.

-How much can we lose on £10?

-£10.

-Ah, yes.

-PHILIP LAUGHS

Nothing gets past you, old boy.

Ah, ha ha. Look at this.

I don't know whether you've seen these before, Anita. I collect inkwells.

-So you're an expert?

-No, no! Far from it.

But I assume they went on partners' desks, so it would be for me

and then it opens for you.

That's smashing. Let's have a look at it.

We've got this very nice cut in the bottom,

so we can see that it is of quality.

This is a part that would not be seen,

so in a cheaper edition

it would just be flat.

It's cut crystal.

-And it looks in very good condition. You like that?

-Yes, I like it.

-But £40, I think, is too much.

-Glenys, tell me what you think.

I think it's really pretty.

-What would you like to pay?

-We've got to get it for 20 or less.

-Right. Excuse me, can I talk to you about this?

-You can, yes.

Can you tell me what the very, very, VERY best is that you can do on that?

28.

20 wouldn't buy it?

-If you could do 25.

-25.

Yeah.

-Thanks very much.

-Thank you.

Two down, Reds. Well done. You're flying along nicely now.

# Mud, mud, glorious mud

# Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood... #

What about pigeon racing? Do you like pigeon racing?

ALL LAUGH

-LAUGHING:

-Oh, dear.

More mud.

Right. Back to the job in hand.

With only 20 minutes left, the Blues have decided to go for the ethnic table.

-There it is over there. Go and give him a tenner for it.

-OK.

-I think that's what we should do.

-I'll prove you two wrong.

-See if you can get it for a fiver.

No, no, we can't do that.

Careful!

It looks more substantial the further you are away from it.

I was just thinking the same thing, Paul.

-I think you've got a good buy there.

-You think?

Yeah. Good buy.

Let's go for that. Thank you.

That's two down and no breakages. Brilliant!

Glenys has spotted this piece of Lalique. Let's have a wee look.

I don't think we can afford it.

Lalique is still in production, so this is a modern piece,

BUT it still has that magic name.

And it still has that quality. That's beautiful.

How much have we got left?

-Er...200 and...

-70.

..72.

You could ask what the very death on that is and consider it.

-They did like the Lalique here. It's a wee bit dear for our budget today.

-Yes.

What's the very death on that?

The very best... 230.

I like that one as well.

That's a nice piece. It's like Lalique. The poor man's Lalique.

-Probably a French factory. Probably Sabino.

-155. Yeah?

-I just don't see it doing that.

-What could you do on that?

Could that be done for 80?

-110 would be...

-110?

-What do you think, darling? Shall we have a little look further?

-You don't want to risk?

You want to spend a lot of money, but you don't want...

-If you spend the money, you've got to risk.

-Exactly.

-Haven't they?

-Shall we come back? Thanks.

You have two lovely pieces. We'll have another wee look.

But thank you very much.

It's all about taking risks in this game, Reds.

Now what's Jane modelling? Wow.

-Wow. What a thing.

-Is this doing it for you?

I have to pay for that normally! Sorry, yes. Very nice, thank you.

-You look like Adam Ant.

-Oh, yeah!

# Prince Charming! #

I like that.

-But...

-What will it make at auction? 40-60 quid, I think.

Is it?

What do you think?

I think you're going to get 60-80, minimum.

So we need to buy it at 60 quid.

-You can take it for 70 today.

-Can you hang on to that for us for, like, 15 minutes?

-OK?

-Yeah. Have a think, yeah.

But think quick, Blues. Time's running out.

Now what's caught Tony's eye?

-How are you on tribal art, Anita?

-It's not my favourite subject!

You've been picking up these slightly risque items! Is that all right with you, Glenys?

It is, but it's not normally what he does!

Well, we all like a bit of the old risque, girls, don't we?

We've got two or three things set up that we have in mind, so there's no great panic as of yet.

We've got three minutes left! I'm panicking!

-Do you like that?

-We do like that, yes.

-Guys, how much is your lump of concrete here?

-That's 120.

-£1.20, is it(?)

-That's great. We'll have it.

-How old do you reckon that is?

-I'd say it's round about 1960.

-Bad day, 30 quid. Good day, 80 quid.

-OK, we've come to a management decision. We'll buy the jacket.

I think so. Clothes are always a good idea.

-And I buy my best clothes in the last two minutes.

-I'm not arguing.

-I only wanted the concrete because she couldn't break it.

-Don't you believe it!

So decision made for the Blues, but what about the Reds? No time to waste.

Got any idea what you're after?

-Well, Glenys is looking for a piece of silver.

-I am.

Not that one!

-What's that, Anita?

-A piece of Worcester. That's lovely.

Blush ivory it's called. Locke and Company. That's nice.

-You like that?

-What sort of date is that?

-About 1880. 1880.

-Very good.

It is a nice piece. It's a nice clean piece, the gilding's good.

Now I would be asking 155 for that, but if you want to have a go,

a straight £100.

And there is definitely a profit.

-Do you like it?

-I do.

Could it come to 80?

I tell you what I will do, Anita, to give these people a chance.

I'll split the difference. £90. That would have to be my final bid.

It's up to you two guys. We haven't got a lot of time.

It's this or the Lalique.

-We can't squeeze you?

-85?

I can't really do it, sir. It's killing me at this.

-I think we should put that down and we'll have a wee confab. What do you think?

-OK.

-OK.

If you want it now, I'll do 85.

If you buy it now it's 85, if you come back it's 90.

You have got to make a decision.

I'm really tempting you now. If you have it now, 85.

-You like it?

-I like it.

-I don't want to pay another fiver. Go for it. 85.

-A decision is made.

-Superb.

-Thanks very much.

Thank you ever so much. Lovely.

Excellent.

Good deal, Reds.

Job done and with only two minutes left, Jane is on a mission to buy that jacket.

- Go, Blues! If you get it down... - You did look good.

Thank you. I'm an Aberdonian. I've never spent this much.

I think that's nice.

-Do you think that might have seen service?

-Yes.

What, in the First World War?

-Pre-First World War.

-Let's pretend that's not a moth, but bullet holes.

-And he's been stabbed.

-And he made it back as well.

-There's no blood.

-Oh, you're gory, you are.

-Let's have a cup of tea.

-Fantastic.

So £60, Blues. Mission accomplished.

Golly! An hour's up already? Time flies when you're having fun.

Let's check what the Reds bought.

First off, they snapped up a sparkling bargain.

Just the £3 for some Swarovski cufflinks.

They then gave £25 for the glass Edwardian inkwell.

And, finally, the 19th-century bowl cost them £85.

-Was that a good shop-up or not?

-Superb. Really enjoyed it.

You spent altogether how much?

-£113.

-What, on the whole job?

-Yes.

-On the whole job.

We tried very hard to spend more.

Really paltry. Please may I have £187 of leftover lolly?

-That would be me.

-Would it be you?

You don't like giving this over at all.

This is not appealing.

It would be nice to continue spending.

It's too late for that. It goes over to Anita.

And she sure knows how to spend!

-I'm going to go for a big spend if I can.

-We'll look forward to that.

Thank you very much, Anita.

Meanwhile, why don't we check out what the Blue Team bought?

Their first find

was this old tractor seat.

How will that do at £45 paid?

£10 was what they gave for this ethnic table.

The woodworm was thrown in for free, by the way.

And they forked out £60 for this 19th century Hussar's jacket.

-Had a good shop-up?

-Great.

-Had a fabulous time. Lovely.

How much did you spend all round?

-115.

-115? What, on everything?

-Yes.

-Not much, is it?

-That was it.

-£185 of leftover lolly then, please.

Phil, there's a pile of dough for you. What will you spend it on?

I don't know, but I'll take a certain amount of pride in it.

There could be a bit of a hint there. Anyway, pride before a fall, as they say. Good luck with that.

25. £30. At £30.

I'm bid £30. Now at 40.

On commission at 40. All done? Sold at 40...

We've been lucky enough to come to Richard Winterton Auctioneers in Lichfield

to be with Richard Winterton himself today.

-Delighted to have you, Tim.

-It's gorgeous to be back.

First up is the Swarovski crystal cuff links. Quite flash, aren't they?

They are. They've got a bit of a following.

-Mainly with footballers and their wives. How much?

-£20.

Good. £3 paid. Excellent.

-That is a good buy.

-That is a good buy.

Here we go with the two-way inkwell.

-I like these with the hinge on both sides.

-Yeah.

-That's rather cool. And it's in good nick.

-Yeah.

How much?

-£20.

-They paid 25.

-We're OK.

-We're OK.

Pot pourri pot. Worcester.

-Is that top meant to be like that?

-Yes, it is.

You're supposed to stick your pinkie in there

and remove it like that and put the old pot pourri in.

-We've gone 40 to 60.

-Is that all?

That's a good price.

There's nothing to it.

It's just a bit of plush ivory pot that's not very well decorated.

-There's nothing to it.

-You're quite brutal, aren't you?

I've got that, Richard. Thank you very much.

We've had the brutal truth. 40 to 60. Is that it?

£85 paid. That's why they'll need the bonus buy,

so let's go and have a look at it.

Glenys, Toto, this is the moment where Anita is going to reveal

how much she spent of your bonus buy money.

Go on, Anita. Show us what you bought, love.

LAUGHTER

Now, I know that you agonised over this lovely bowl when we were shopping.

I couldn't resist going back and buying it just to see

how right we were or wrong we were in buying or not buying.

-What did you pay for it?

-Well, that's the thing.

-I had to pay £100.

-Right.

I think it's beautiful. How much do you think it will make, Anita?

-100 wasn't cheap.

-No.

But I have had them in auction going at 120, 130.

You don't have to pick it now.

You pick it after the sale of your first three items.

But for the audience at home, let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about Anita's bowl.

-Richard, there's something to get your teeth into.

-Ah!

-Isn't that lovely?

-It is and these are quite popular.

If it was Lalique, worth £400?

-Yeah.

-More even. We know it's French because it says "France" on the bottom, always a very good sign.

-Think big. This is Anita's bonus buy.

-No, don't think big.

-Think 40 to 60.

-She spent £100 on that...

-Ooh!

-..and she really rates it.

40 to 60. You never know. The teams might not go with it.

-It would worry me.

-Yeah, it's all a big worry.

Don't get too worried about it.

That's the Reds done. Now for the Blues.

And this is a completely different mish-mash, isn't it?

What about the Blackstone & Co tractor seat? Isn't that magnificent?

Do we have an enthusiast who wants a tractor seat to go on to their refurbished old tractor?

I don't know, but there are tractor seat collectors around the world.

And they don't even have a tractor. They just like the seats.

They do sell. We've gone £30 to £40, somewhere around there.

-That's fine.

-OK.

-That's fine.

I mean, Jane only paid £45.

You've put £30 to £40. That's not so far off.

Get two or three obsessive tractor seat collectors on the job and anything could happen.

We'll pop across to Damascus now or Cairo.

How do you rate this little coffee table?

Ghastly.

I take it that's a "no"?

I'm looking here and I'm expecting a little worm

to wiggle out of the worm holes.

-There are a lot of worm holes.

-Dreadful!

More holes in that than in a Gruyere cheese!

-The closer you look at it, the worse it gets.

-Don't look too closely.

-What's it worth?

-We've put...

-HE MUMBLES

-How much?

-20 to 30.

-Have you?

-But I think it's a tenner.

-They only paid a tenner.

Well, there you go. They'll get that.

-Anything more than £10 is lovely.

-Perfect.

-Now, uniforms...

-OK.

Bit of frogging on that jacket. Said to be the jacket of a Hussar.

A little something for you to dress up in at weekends.

If I could get in it!

It's as if it's for a child.

-It is.

-Do you think it's for a small lady?

-It could be.

-It could be, a sort of drum majorette.

-I'm not sure my wife could get into it either.

Let's not go there, I think, Ricardo.

This is a daytime programme.

-How do you rate it, money-wise?

-We've gone 50 to 80.

Have you really? The team paid £60. That's very, very encouraging.

It's the most encouraging thing I've heard today. It's the ONLY encouraging thing I've heard today!

On that note, they'll need their bonus buy, so let's go and have a look.

-Jane, Paul, this is exciting, isn't it?

-It is.

You gave him a major amount of money.

-£185 is wages, isn't it, Phil?

-Absolutely right. Months!

-But what is underneath that rag?

-Are you ready for this?

-We're ready.

-Ooh!

-Just be careful.

-Oh, yes!

-A-ha!

-It's the lion.

-The lion.

-I said I'd take pride in something. It's a pride of lions.

-Fantastic. Well done.

-This is perfect.

Are you a mind-reader as well as everything else?

The man did move from 85, but only just. He moved to 80.

And I still think, on a bad day, it's £30, £40.

But I think, on a good day, it might make 100, 120.

-Fantastic. Well done.

-Thank you.

-Thank you for getting that.

-Is it enough to make you want to burst into song?

-I'm always willing to burst into song.

We've noticed.

Anyway, on that happy note, let's find out what the auctioneer thinks

about Phil's lump of concrete, I mean lion mask.

Right then, Richard, one concrete lion head.

-Do you like it?

-I'm going to surprise you. I think we'll sell OK.

-Do you?

-I do.

-At what price?

-We've gone 30 to 40.

-At that price, you'll sell them every day of the week.

-Will you sell them every day of the week at £80?

-We have got half a chance of getting to it.

-Are you taking the sale today?

-I am, Tim.

Well, we're in safe hands.

At 35. 35, 35, 35. Do we have 40 now? £35 I'm bid.

All done and sold then at 35...

-Now, Glenys, Toto, this is the moment. Are you feeling at all nervous, Glen?

-No.

-Not?

-No.

-Full of confidence?

-Yes.

-Apprehensive.

Your old man's not quite so confident then?

On one of my items.

-Right. Which is which?

-The pot pourri.

I'm not too sure about that.

I think we paid too much.

OK. ANITA LAUGHS

-I still don't agree.

-Look at her face.

I think it's beautiful.

OK, courage, mes braves!

Your first item is the cufflinks.

And we're looking forward to this.

Here we go.

£5 to start me? £5 to start me? £5?

Set of the cufflinks? £5? 5 to go?

-£5, thank you. £5.

-Phew!

-£5. £5.

£5. Right there at £5. We have 6 now coming.

£6. Thank you, Paul. £7. £8.

-£9. £10.

-Good auctioneer.

No? £10. Back at £10. £10. Are you all finished?

Sold at £10. GAVEL BANGS

-Well done. £10.

-A small profit.

Plus 7. That's not bad, is it?

359, the Edwardian, clear-cut glass cube inkwell.

Reversible lid. You don't see those very often.

£10 I'm bid. 15.

£20. 25. £30.

35.

35 at the back. At 35. 35.

35. 35. At 35...

-£40.

-Yes!

-Yes!

-45. 45. Back at 45.

45. All done, sold then at 45...

-Oh, well done.

-£45. That's another plus 20.

You are £27 up.

Now, pot pourri.

Circa about 1880, lot 360.

£40? Nothing on my book. 40? 30? £30 to go?

GLENYS: Nothing on the books. That's worrying.

£40 bid. £50 bid. Internet at 50. £50 bid.

£50. Not a lot of money for this at £50. Here at 50.

At £50. At 50 bid. 50 bid. 50 bid. At £50.

Everyone else out? At £50 with the internet

and selling then at £50...

-GAVEL BANGS

-£50 is minus 35.

-That's tough, isn't it?

-We're minus 8.

Minus 8, that's all you are. Minus £8 after all that miserable process.

Come on, Toto. Come on, girl. What are we going to do?

-Are you going to go with the opalescent bowl or not?

-You could be on a winning score.

-We'll stick.

-Minus £8?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

You've considered that? We're going to sell it anyway.

You're not going with the bonus buy, but here it comes anyway.

Number 364, the French Art Deco glass bowl there, circa 1930.

Got a good look about it. Where are you going to be? £40? 40. 50.

A lot of hands. 50. 60.

Don't stop on me. 60 here. Second row at 60.

60. At 60. At 60.

All done. Sold at 60... GAVEL BANGS

-Good decision.

-Oh, yeah.

-Minus 40.

You did the right thing in not going with the bonus buy.

You've preserved your score of minus £8, which deserves to be a winning score, so say nothing to the Blues.

-OK.

-Congratulations. Well done, my girl. That's perfect.

-Right, team, been talking to the Reds?

-Not at all.

-You don't know what their score is?

-The enemy.

The enemy. There's no way that anybody's ever going to make an enemy of you, right, Jane?

Here we go then. First up is the tractor seat and here it comes.

Right, we now go to 380, the tractor seat.

-I think they picked it up on the way back on the side of the road.

-Hey!

Steady!

£20? £20 for the tractor seat? £20?

It'll look good in the garden. £20?

£20 I've got. £25 I've got. £30.

£30. At the back at £30. At £30.

£30. At £30. Back at £30.

All done? Sold at 30...

-GAVEL BANGS

-£30 is minus 15. Oh, dear.

-We now go to 381, the occasional table, 381.

-You watch this wing it.

£10? £10? Anyone, £10?

A little occasional table. £10? £5? Help me out.

£5. £6. £7. £8.

£9. £10.

£12. £15.

-Yes!

-On the left at £15.

Don't miss out. 15 on my left.

£18.

-Yes, £20.

-Jammy!

-£20. On my left at £20.

All done at 20? Finished?

-They clearly haven't looked at it.

-GAVEL BANGS

-That's part of the decoration.

-That is plus £10.

You are now only minus 5. You're clawing it back here.

-Now the jacket.

-Now the tunic.

£28 on my book and bid. At 28.

£28 I'm bid. 30. 5.

40. 5. 50. £50. In the doorway at £50.

£50. £60, internet.

-£60. At £60.

-We need 70.

-On the internet at 60.

-Come on, we need 70.

-70.

-70, you've got it. That's fantastic.

-At 70.

80. At 80 with the internet now. At £80.

At £80. All done?

-Selling at 80.

-I always said it was a nice thing(!)

-Beautiful thing.

-Plus 20.

-Whose idea was that?

-Yes, whose idea was that?

That's very good. You are plus £15. Is that not sweet?

What are you going to do about the lump of concrete?

-With great respect, we'll bank our money and stay where we are.

-Really?

I'll not persuade you one way or the other.

They're banking their £15, but we'll sell the lump of concrete anyway.

Bids on the book for this one. I'm in at £20.

25. £30. At £30.

I'm bid £30. 35. £40.

At £40. With me at £40.

At £40. At £40. Room out now at 40.

On commission at 40. All done? Sold at 40...

You made the right choice. It's minus £40. You didn't go with it.

You preserved your £15, which is so clever.

That could be a winning score.

-Yes.

-Don't say a thing to those dirty old Reds.

-Absolutely not.

Now, you lot, you 'orrible lot,

have you been chatting to one another about the score?

-Absolutely not.

-It's a complete secret.

-Yeah.

-One team is ahead of the other, funnily enough.

And one team is behind.

And the team that's behind, I regret to say, are the Reds.

Oh, no!

I mean, the agony and the ecstasy is just too much for me.

You don't deserve to be behind, you Reds, because you got two splendid profits to start off with,

then you got torpedoed by that pot pourri bowl.

You didn't do the bonus buy, but nevertheless, your final score is minus 8,

which, on a normal day, would be a winning score, but you were up against the brick wall of the Blues

-because they are going home with £15.

-Ooh!

-Ooh!

That's money. If you split it with Phil, that's a fiver each.

-How good is that? Is that good, Paul?

-Fantastic.

-Is that good, Jane?

-Delighted.

-Marvellous.

-Good old Phil.

Good old Phil. Keep smiling. That's the answer.

-In fact, join us soon for some more bargain-hunting, yes?

-Yes!

You're sitting there thinking, "I could have done better than that!"

Well, what's stopping you?

If you think you can spot a bargain, go to our BBC website and apply.

It will be splendid to see you.