Hungerford 11 Bargain Hunt

Today we're in the historic town of Hungerford.

When a town's been around for the best part of the Millennium,

it's got to be rich pickings for us, eh?

So, let's go bargain hunting, yeah!

Imagine the fun that you could have with £300 and an hour shopping here.

Well, for today's teams they need imagine no more,

because Hungerford's antique stalls await,

and here's a quick peek as to what's coming up.

The Reds find something appealing.

-Knobs.

-Door knobs.

Knobs! Lovely knobs, girls.

Whilst the Blues get it wrong.

If I took that home, my wife would throw it away.

So, let's go and meet the teams.

On today's show we've got two teams of friends.

Well, they're friends at the moment.

For the Reds we've got Sheila and Ann,

and for the Blues we've got Neil and Richard. Welcome, everybody.

-Thank you.

-Very nice to see you. How did you two girls get to know one another?

There's a story. THEY LAUGH

Sheila had a career change and started a new business.

So in our local paper there was an advertorial for kinesiology,

the business she was starting, and I thought, "I'll have some of that,"

-and I went along as one of her first clients.

-And you're with her still.

-As a friend.

THEY LAUGH

-So tell us about this nesiology, then?

-Kinesiology.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-Kinesiology.

-Kinesiology, basically, is understanding how energy flows.

Kinetic energy flows all the time unless it is stopped by something.

So in our bodies, energy flows all the time unless something blocks it or stops it.

-Maybe trauma, disease, whatever.

-That's quite clear.

Now, Ann, it says here you sent something in with a postage stamp.

That's how we got on the show.

-Is that how you did it? You didn't do it online? That's a miracle.

-Yes - and it got through.

-And you're here, which is a thrill.

-Yes.

-What other things do you put pen to paper about?

I've had no end of pen-friends in my time,

and I'm still in touch with a lot of them. Some we started writing to each other when we were ten,

and I won't tell you how old we are, but it's well over 50 years

-we've kept up a correspondence.

-That's lovely.

-Yes.

Some of them send you some pretty weird things, don't they?

-There's a fella that sent you a bit of a monkey.

-A piece of skin. It could have come from anywhere.

-Really?

-It was about that size.

-Was it?

-ALL LAUGH

-There you go. Bragging again.

Gosh. After all that, then, girls, what sort of things will you be hunting for today on Bargain Hunt?

-The things that we like.

-Yes.

-It has to appeal, doesn't it?

-We have no strategy.

-No strategy?

-None.

-That's probably a good idea.

But you're going to keep off animal parts, aren't you?

-Definitely.

-Good.

On that happy note I think we better move on to the Blues.

Anyway, good luck, girls. Now, boys, lovely to see you.

What is your connection? How did you get to know each other?

It's through our girlfriends. They're sisters,

so Leanne and Kirsty are sisters, so we met from there.

-We've just got on from day one.

-Neil, it says you're a DJ here.

-I am indeed.

-Tell us about that.

-For about 12 years, or over, I've been DJing.

-International DJ I like to call myself.

-That's exotic.

-It sounds it.

-You get to foreign parts a lot?

-I do. I've worked on cruise ships,

in Greece as well, so I've done a good mixture of stuff.

-It says here you're a collector.

-Of sorts. What do you collect?

-Everything from toys. Building blocks, without using brand names.

-It begins with L and ends in O.

That's it. You've got the one. I've got a special edition.

I followed a series of ten special edition ones about 20 years ago,

-and I've kept them safely in my loft for a rainy day.

-Still in the packs?

-Oh, yes.

-It was a plan.

-You're an investor, aren't you?

-I'm trying.

-Richard, you like to turn your hand to a bit of inventing.

-I do try.

-I've tried to invent a masking tape with measurements on.

-Yes?

I went to the patenting office. Somebody had already patented an adhesive. Yeah?

That's very cross making, isn't it? You get that far.

-You'll come up with something soon. You're also an occasional collector?

-Yeah.

-One thing I've collected used to be perfume sticks.

-Ah.

You know when you go to, like, perfume shops and things like that and they spray them?

Not for the scent, for the actual stick itself.

I've only done this because I've seen on a TV show once that they're worth £20 to £30 each.

I went out there and got about 200. I'm thinking, in the future... Then I got with my girlfriend,

-she told me to bin them because she thinks it's crazy.

-She put them in the bin?

-Yes.

-Never!

-That's terrible.

-She had a clearout and sent us a text saying, "I've put them in the bin."

-Also collect pin badges.

-The golden gavel. Would you like one?

-Yes.

You're going to have to work hard if you're to get one. Talking of which,

-the process begins with £300. Here's your £300.

-Thank you.

You know the rules. Your experts await, and off you go!

And very, very good luck.

With two teams like that, we need a pair of very special experts.

The Reds will be led by the exceptional Charlie Ross.

The Blues will have the guiding hand of the stupendous Jonathan Pratt.

-Oh, girls, this is...

-Bliss.

-..sensational.

Have I really got to go shopping?

Have you got any tactics?

-We're going to win. We're not messing about.

-Is that a tactic? Is winning a tactic?

-I think it is.

-Tactics? We don't do tactics.

-Oh, no, we just go with the flow.

I kind of want some statement pieces.

Some nice, big, tall statement pieces.

Precious metals as well. That's always a winner.

-What, you just feel your way?

-That's precisely what we do.

Well, get on with it. Lead on and I'll follow.

Come on, teams, get on with it.

-You're a tactile girl.

-That's the thing.

-You like that sort of thing. He feels nice.

-They're quite good fun, there, those dogs. What are they?

-Nutcrackers.

You pull the tail if you want to get your nuts cracked.

As half the nation crosses its legs...

-That appeals to me, those three.

-Those bangles? I think they're modern. I'm sure they're modern.

They are very personal, aren't they? What do you think of them?

-It's not my taste.

-Not your taste? This is going to be fun. It's going to be good.

Like it, hate it. Hate it, like it.

Good, good. I'm looking forward to fun in the Red camp. What about you Blues? Like to win, eh?

This is more of the general fair. Everything out here has another use.

Chimney pots become planters, these little feeders, it's like a chicken feeder or something,

is like a bird bath, isn't it?

One man's trash, as they say...

I love good enamelling. I think that's a superb thing.

Art Deco silver painting, Roesch enamel card case.

-That's fabulous. I mean, that's real 1920s -

-It's classy.

-1930s.

-It's just classy.

-Charleston era.

Do you dance the Charleston, girls?

-Don't tempt her.

-HE LAUGHS

Don't tempt her? She will, won't she?

Ann, you're a spoilsport.

I think that's a superb item.

I think he likes that.

-Shall we ask for a bit of shop assistance?

-Yes. I'm quite happy with that. Quite happy.

-We have Ann and we have Sheila.

-Hi. Nice to meet you.

-We're really getting quite excited about your Art Deco card case.

-OK.

Thank you very much indeed.

-Oh, wow.

-Isn't that fabulous workmanship?

-It's lovely.

-This enamel is delicious.

-Gorgeous. It's better when you get it out.

-SHE GASPS

-Look at that decoration on the back.

-We're going to open it up.

-Yes, yes, yes.

"Made in England." That's all right.

-That is a maker's name there.

-All right.

-JG Limited.

Now what I'm not finding here is a hallmark.

That gives us two clues.

-Either it's not silver.

-Mm.

-Or it's Continental.

I think it's actually plated and not silver.

It helps if you look at the label.

-Oh, it is silver-plated, yes.

-I do think that's nice.

We go off to auction, girls. What would that be estimated at auction?

Mm, 80 to 120. A hundred, a hundred and fifty.

So may we just try and see if there is an unforgettably wonderful price?

-I'll see what I can do.

-That's really sweet of you. Thank you.

The Blues are looking alarmed.

-BELL RINGS

-It works as well.

-Yeah.

DING! DING! DING! DING!

-That's cool.

-It still works, too.

-There's no price on it, which is always a good thing.

-I quite like that.

-It's a novelty, isn't it?

-It's quite nice.

It's a firm alarm but it's like an old school bells at break time.

-The moment of truth. What's the verdict?

-£95.

-Yes!

-Wow, what a difference.

-It's quite a high risk, but you both love it, don't you?

-Yes, I do.

-Let's go with the heart.

-Yes.

-Yes.

-To heck with the head.

Thank you very much, Lynne. That's really superb.

-Thank you. wonderful.

-It is beautiful. Thank you.

I've got two very happy girls with me now.

-Which makes him a very lucky man.

-Aren't you lucky? Yes.

Charlie looks like the cat what got the cream with that one.

Well done, Reds. Let's see if it makes its "case" at auction.

The boys in Blue are in their element.

-Ooh. Have you seen this, Neil?

-What have you got there?

-It's some kind of seat, is it?

-It's a cast iron tractor seat.

-Yeah.

Er... This will be early part of the century.

Last century, that is, obviously.

I think it's quite fun because you've got the name, Nicholsons.

I'm not familiar with Nicholsons but they might've been seat or tractor makers. From Newark, England.

The shape of them, this sort of saddle shape,

-they're ergonomically...

-Comfortable.

-Comfortable.

They sit there, and you can get a good farmer's backside on there.

A good farmer's backside? Do they excel in that department?

-Want to have a look at it?

-It's got a good weight to it, definitely.

-It doesn't have a price on. Actually, this doesn't have a price on.

-Then there's the fire bell.

It is brass. Including the brackets it's £125.

£125?

The implement seat, which is circa 1900,

-that's £120 is its retail price. He will do that at £90.

-£90?

Just wondering. If he said he'd do that one for £125,

-do you think he'll do £200 for the both of them?

-No.

-He might do.

He won't. He has told me those are his very best prices.

If he had to do two sales instead of one.

Very persuasive our Blues, aren't they?

-I love this perfume bottle.

-You'd like to buy that. It's a three or 4,000 piece.

-Really?

And how much do little birdies in the tray come up at?

-Less, but will be into four figures.

-Really?

-Oh, yes.

-Just gorgeous.

-But, girls...

-Hey.

-How long have we got? We have not got a week.

-I know. Sorry.

-And we haven't got a thousand pounds.

-No. We'll move on.

That's it, Reds, step away. Time's ticking on.

Over the road, it's up to JP to seal the deal for the fire bell and tractor seat combo.

Hi, Stuart.

You've given us your best prices. What the gents want to know is,

because they know you're a businessman,

is whether you'd sell them both at just take that little bit more off

and do it for £200? He's umming and ahhing.

Is that all right?

Brilliant. I'll pass you over so that she doesn't just take my word for it.

So we've done that. That's £200.

Now as the bell was, proportionally, the larger value,

I think you probably need to split it better that way.

If we say £120 for the bell, that's still a decent discounted rate.

-And then £80 for the seat. I think both fair prices.

-Yeah.

-Stands us a chance of making something on both.

-Yeah.

-Happy with that?

-Really good.

Brilliant. Thanks very much.

Well done, Blues. Two very manly items from a team of chaps.

No surprises there, then.

20 minutes gone. Keep it up, teams.

-Now, girls, are you getting anywhere?

-This.

-That is for teapot collectors.

-Yes, exactly.

Well, you know, the way Chinese things are going at the moment,

anything Oriental is quite good news. It's got the most wonderful decoration on it.

I'm not going to object if you have a go at that.

I would object if it was two or £300. Do you know what the price is?

-£45, I think?

-45? We could probably get that for 20, couldn't we?

Go for it, Charlie boy.

-I think we ought to have a look at it.

-I think so.

-Knock, and the door will be opened.

-Could we see that one?

-The girls are quite keen on your Chinese teapot.

-Mm. That's just gorgeous. It's not heavy.

-Oh, the wee lion.

-A little Dog of Fo.

-Oh, right. It's lovely.

A little Dog of Fo on the front.

The enamelling is very nice. I think it's excellent.

I would possibly take exception to the word antique.

-An old-fashioned person like myself would generally reckon an antique being 100 years.

-Yes.

So that's putting that... I think that is in the style of the antique.

Come on, then, Charlie, we'll have it.

We're not just going to have it. I don't want you to pay £45 for it.

No, no.

I think we'll just ask you to see what you can do.

If it could be £25 it would be fantastic.

I'll do my best for you.

Again, the ladies agree, but Charlie isn't so certain.

The Blues have decided a change of scene is in order.

After half and hour, having bought the two objects in one shop,

I mean, that was a bit of a cheeky deal.

I think they did rather well, actually.

I suppose, in a way, they are boys' bits.

-Not having all their eggs in one basket might be the thing to do now.

-FLOORBOARDS SQUEAK

-We should go for something a bit more pretty.

-Something pretty, yes.

-Show our feminine side, the lighter side.

-Why not?

There we go. A little spoon. £20.

I don't know about a spoon. It's not the most original item.

It can't all be fire bells and tractor seats, Neil. Meanwhile, back at the teapot.

Moment of truth, girls. Is there a smile? There's quite a smile.

-Fingers crossed.

-There's a smile.

-Yeah?

-Our best price would be £30.

-The dealer, hence the price of the £45, isn't terribly sure of the history of the teapot.

-Yeah.

-So £30.

-I think that solves the problem for us, doesn't it, girls?

I think my point about it not being antique is probably right,

and that's very fair of the owner.

But, frankly, if it's 20th century, at £30 we're going to have it, aren't we?

-And it is very unusual.

-It's what I came up with in my head.

-Is it?

-Mm.

-Thank you very much. Sold.

Unanimity once more, but will Charlie's doubts about its age

come home to roost? Only time, and the auction, will tell.

The teapot's quite modern, but it's stylish, and for 30 quid there shouldn't be too much downside.

Should there?

Charlie's doing really well. It's nice to get the knowledge behind it.

-We know what we like.

-Yes.

-But to have the knowledge coming up behind it,

-confirming our good taste, don't you think?

-Well, he didn't go mad about the teapot, did he?

He did in the end. He warmed up to it.

-All right.

-Teapots need warming.

Yes, yes.

Well, don't "stew" on it for too long, Reds. Both teams have got one more item to find

and only 20 minutes left to do it in.

-This is the one.

-This one here?

-We weren't going for a pair this time.

-For £18?

-A bargain.

-We could make stacks of money.

-Well... If I took that home,

-my wife would throw it out the window.

-And get shot.

-Guaranteed.

So that's a no, then.

Follow me. Look. There's a man set up specially for us today.

Have a quick look.

These could open doors for you, Reds.

-Hey, Sheila?

-Doorknobs.

-Yes.

-Is that brass? If it is, it'll clean up beautifully.

-Yes.

-I like those.

-I like the way the light catches on them.

-What have you found, girls?

-Doorknobs.

-Knobs.

-Knobs.

-Knobs. Lovely knobs, girls.

Right, I think we'll leave Charlie saying "knobs" there and return to the Blues.

-These Doulton pottery candlesticks, they went out of fashion for a while.

-Yeah.

It's sort of coming back into fashion again.

-Shall we have a look at them?

-OK.

-So we can grab some.

-As if by magic.

You've got the key? Oh, brilliant.

-There's one.

-Thank you.

There's a crack right down the centre.

So you've got one candlestick, essentially.

-That one's fine, but that' got a massive crack.

-It's got a huge crack in it.

-Is that actually right through the whole thing?

-Yeah, it's a repair job underneath, isn't it?

If we don't have any luck for the next ten minutes, we need to fall back on something.

-We're just saying, because one of them is quite damaged.

-Yes, OK.

It's split all the way through, pretty much.

-There's 50 on there.

-50 for a pair with one completely smashed?

-OK.

I wonder whether they might just take £20?

-I'll do my best. 20?

-Yeah.

OK, let's go, hesitantly, back to the Reds.

-I don't think they're Victorian. They're Edwardian.

-Yes.

-Yeah? 1920s, probably.

-Somebody doing up a house in Chiswick.

-It would be wonderful.

-Wouldn't that be great?

So?

-To cut a long story short. I asked him if he'd take £20 for them, and he said, "Let them go." So, yes.

-OK.

We should've said ten, shouldn't we? ALL LAUGH

What do you want to do? That is an offer. He's on the end of a phone and has agreed to it.

You can put them in the cabinet and have a look for ten minutes and come back. Is that cheeky?

Don't play for too long. Once those ten minutes are up, that's it.

-So how much are you knobs?

-£28.

-£28.

-I've always liked knobs.

-You've always liked knobs? Good.

I'm warning you, Reds.

So would you take £20 for your knobs?

-I'll take £25.

-£22?

-25 gives me a very small profit.

OK, we'll let you off, then.

-Girls, I'm happy to go along with what you say.

-Go on.

-If you'd like these knobs for £25, who am I to stand between you...

-And a knob.

-..and seven knobs.

-No, quite.

-Absolutely.

-We have a deal.

-Thank you.

-We've done it, girls.

Well done. You've got your third item and the world record for repeating the word "knobs"

the most times in five minutes on daytime TV.

Just a few minutes left, and the Blues are still hunting.

-No.

-No?

-What about this little thing at the front?

-The little jug.

-No.

-No.

One minute to go. It's that way to pay.

It's the only thing we can do. We've got to go.

-We're going to run. A minute's plenty of time.

-You automatically lose if you don't get three objects.

Really? That's news to me, JP.

Can we go with the candlesticks, please?

Yep. Was it £20?

-Yep.

-£20 it is, yeah.

-No problem.

-Lovely.

-That's great. Thanks very much.

-Thank you. Cheers.

-Well done, guys. Seconds to spare.

-Seconds.

-It's all down to you now.

Time's up, you 'orrible lot.

Huh. Let's see what the Red team bought.

They started out all Art Deco

with this stylish card case for £95.

Wow.

And then spotted this teapot.

Despite a few reservations from Charlie,

they poured another £30 into it.

Finally, they bought a set of Edwardian glass doorknobs for £25.

-It's like being part of a cocktail party going round with you lot.

-It is. Can I have a martini, please?

-ALL LAUGH

-Straightaway.

-Sheila, which is your favourite piece you bought today?

-The card holder, which is Art Deco,

and it's sort of silver and enamelled. It's rather beautiful.

-And you, which is your favourite piece?

-My Chinese teapot.

-Chinese teapot. How much did you spend?

-£150, yes.

-£150. Who's got the £150 leftover lolly?

-I have. I have.

-Thank you, Annie. That's very kind. Straightaway.

-£150. That's a fair slice.

-Thank you, Bob.

-Are you going to spend it all?

-Probably not, knowing them.

Now it's your chance, Charlie, to break free.

You're right. Then I will.

-ALL LAUGH

-OK. Good luck, anyway.

Great to see you. Meanwhile, why don't we check out what the Blue team bought?

The Blues started out all manly,

with a Victorian painted fire bell.

They kept the chunkiness going with a cast iron tractor seat.

Finally, they found a pair of Doulton Lambeth pottery candlesticks.

-That's it, we're done.

-Fantastic.

-You can now relax.

I don't want you relaxing up too much. No, we can't have that.

-Which is the favourite bit, for you?

-I'd probably say the bell. We bought a big fire alarm bell.

Do you know what? I'm going for the tractor seat. I don't know why. There's something about it.

-Did you try it in for size?

-Definitely. A snug fit, shall we say?

-Jolly good. Is that going to bring the biggest profit?

-I think so.

-And you spent how much?

-£220.

-It's such a good number.

-£80 of leftover lolly, please.

-Yes. There you go.

That goes straight to JP.

-And hopefully he'll blow the lot.

-I'll try. I'll try, yeah.

I've seen one or two things, walking around. I didn't draw their attention to them.

-It was a surprise.

-A few secrets.

-I'll see what I can find.

Meanwhile, we're off to Hampshire, to the most marvellous house called The Vyne.

This magnificent building

is a small part of a much larger Tudor construction.

Put up by William, first Lord Sandys,

who was Henry VIII's Lord Chamberlain.

As we walk across this immense expanse of lawn,

originally this was covered in a series of Tudor courtyards.

Can you believe that?

Standing testament to the immense changes

that 500 years of history have wrought.

Here in the chapel, the stained glass windows are impressive,

not just because of their splendour, but also because they're extraordinarily old.

This stained glass portrait of Henry VIII

serves as a reminder of when this place was the powerhouse

of a Tudor courtier, a man who entertained the King here,

personally, no less than three times.

To the left there's a scene showing his first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

And what's going on up above?

Well, this is the moment of the Resurrection.

Tremendous drama, spectators being flung to the ground in amazement.

The centre panel depicts the crucifixion.

Above, Henry. It shows him as a young king,

in his twenties, before he became all gross and corpulent.

And over here, on the right,

we've got a scene where Our Lord,

carrying the cross and wearing a brilliant purple robe,

is about to encounter St Veronica

on His way up Calvary.

And underneath, to finish this series of stained glass windows,

we have Margaret, Queen of Scotland, and Henry VIII's sister.

And she is attended by St Margaret, with her emblematic dragon.

I rather like that dragon, don't you?

That great, green, slimy colour.

Of course, the dragon didn't get on too well with St Margaret.

He tried to swallow her.

But as she was carrying a cross at the time

he found her difficult to digest.

So he regurgitated her.

What is extraordinary, of course,

is the survival of this religious glass in the first place.

Because in the reformation,

this stuff was smashed up and removed, piecemeal.

But I guess, because there are so many references to Henry VIII

and his family here, it was allowed to survive.

Nothing short of a miracle.

But that's not the only decorative art item that's interesting

that's survived here in the chapel.

Here, truly, is a pew end fit for a king.

The foliage is reticulated,

and the finial itself is this most extraordinary fellow.

He's on his knees, he's extended his hand and he's gripping his toe

very tightly. He's got a bulging codpiece,

but the most extraordinary feature, I think,

is the way that he's jamming into his mouth some fingers

and seems to be wrenching at his jaw.

Most peculiar.

The question today is, will our teams be sitting pretty,

or will they be biting their nails over at the auction?

Hi, Tom. Very nice to be here at Chiswick Auctions in West London.

-How's tricks?

-Very good, Tim. Very good.

-Well, it's delightful to be back.

-Good.

For the Red team, their first item is this Art Deco cigarette case, which seems to me to be top quality.

I've been told it's plate but I can't believe it's not silver.

I've priced it as plate, being Art Deco. The enamel's not damaged.

It's a nice thing. Good weight to it. I've only put £30 to £50 on it.

But we get loads of silver buyers come in here. I can't find a mark.

-If there's a mark to be found, they'll find it and it'll make the money.

-Which needs to be £95.

Which it might do if somebody believes, as we do, in our hearts,

-this is an unusual, unmarked piece of silver.

-Yes, I think it's right.

Now what about the Redware teapot? It's rather fun, isn't it?

Yeah, these Chinese teapots, there's loads of copies around.

I don't think it's that old. The enamelling's nice, but...

We're hoping for more than £30. Any chances?

-I've estimated it at £60 to £100. I've got my Chinese head on these days.

-OK.

-With that in mind, it might do better.

-Very good.

Next, some glass doorknobs. Three showing out of a set of seven.

-How do you rate seven of these knobs?

-I wish we had eight.

-Ah.

For four doors, but they're OK. They're stylish enough.

I don't really see them doing that well.

-£25, £45, that sort of money.

-OK, well, they paid £25.

-OK.

-It's all down to the teapot, really, isn't it?

-Yes.

If it does really, really well they won't want their bonus buy. But let's have a look at it anyway.

-I bet you're all longing to know what Carlos has got underneath his rag?

-It's looking interesting.

You spent 150, you gave him 150. I expect he's blown the lot. Show us your wares.

-I've spent very little, I'm afraid, girls.

-Good.

-I'm not afraid. This is going to show you a profit.

-Are you religious?

-No.

-No.

-Not a cracking good start.

Because I bought you an Apostle spoon.

-Oh, wonderful.

-But it's a silver Apostle spoon.

Very popular pre-Reformation. But people collect Apostle spoons.

I can't tell you which Apostle it was.

They originally made sets of 13,

so you had Christ and the 12 Apostles.

But I particularly like this one because we are showing the triumph of good over evil.

In other words, Red over Blue this time.

ALL LAUGH

How low will you stoop? To invoke religion on this programme.

But I think it's a charming object. I was happy to pay £30 for it.

-And I reckon it was a snip.

-So do I.

-Do you like it? Seriously?

-Mm.

-You do?

-Yes.

Because I have a few Apostle spoons anyway.

From my point of view, I like it.

Anyway, Carlos paid £30. Let's find out right now,

for the audience at home, what the auctioneer thinks it's worth.

There we are. Very nice. All tastes catered for.

Yes, it's not bad, is it? An Apostle spoon, 1913.

We see quite a few of these. The age is wrong. It's a bit too late to be valuable,

-but £25 to £45, it'll walk out the door.

-OK.

Well, it's Charlie's bonus buy.

-He's invested £30.

-That's all right.

-He's spot on.

-That's good.

If they decide to go with it. That's it for the Reds.

Now for the Blues, and what a mixture they've got.

-First up, a fire bell.

-I like it.

I like it. I think it's quite fashionable, really, for a pub or a bar.

A hotel. "Quick, the bar's closing."

But it should make £50 or £70.

-They paid £120.

-Oops.

It's like the cast iron tractor seat.

-I mean, that's quite an acquired collector's field, isn't it?

-Mm.

Quite seriously, I've been around a few farms the last few weeks

on my travels, and there's loads of these around.

They're not very valuable, they last forever.

Whilst it's a nice model of what it is, who would want it?

-Hopefully an agriculturalist.

-In Chiswick?

-That's what I mean.

-It's not exactly stiff with farmers around here, are you?

-No, no.

-Where it came from, in Hungerford, it should've stayed, but £50 to £70 if we're lucky.

-£80 paid.

-That's not so far off.

-Mm-hm.

-It's nearer than the fire bell price.

And lastly is the Doulton Lambeth candlesticks.

Doulton Lambeth Slaters ware candlesticks.

These are out of fashion. They're nice candlesticks, nothing wrong with them,

-but they're out of fashion. I think, more so, one of these has got a crack.

-Ah.

-Look at that.

Oh dear.

-If they're really lucky, £40 to £60.

-They only paid £20.

-You know why, don't you?

-Yeah. The crack.

It's a shame, really, to pin their hopes on that when it's such

a hopeless object to start off with before it got the crack, so...

You're right, really. It's bad strategy.

They're not going to do well. They're going to need their bonus buy. Let's go and have a look at it.

Now, Neil, Ricardo, you spent £220, which is a magnificent total, I have to say, by any standards.

It gave the boy £80, and it seems he's gone for the long and thin approach.

OK, gents, I thought men of style.

What could complete the look on our Saturday evening?

-Oh, OK.

-There we go.

What do you think? It's a little silver-topped walking cane.

Um, got a bamboo shaft,

and you have the silver handle, which I think is a lovely shape,

that lovely, natural curl,

modelled to look like bamboo to finish the cane off.

Hallmarked on the top, so it's English silver.

-A swagger stick of sorts.

-I quite like it.

-Feel you're kind of...

-What do you think, Rich?

-Um, it's all right.

-Depends how much you paid for it.

-I paid £40 for it.

-Are you liking that?

-I am. You're...

-For what he paid.

-You think we'll make a profit?

If that came into my sale room, I'd be quoting, at the very least,

-just a conservative £60 to £80.

-OK, that's pretty good.

-That's good enough. I'm happy now.

-Excellent.

Anyway, for the audience at home, let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about JP's stick.

One walking stick, Tom.

Not too bad, not too bad. A nice silver top on it.

It'll do OK. Again, we get some nice walking cane buyers here.

This is Edwardian. It should make £80 to £100, that sort of money.

Lovely. Jonathan Pratt paid £40. He's a canny fellow.

-We're looking forward to the auction. Thank you.

-You're welcome.

How excited are you, Ann, in a scale of one to ten?

-Is it up there somewhere?

-It's up there somewhere for excitement.

-Are you feeling a bit nervy too?

-Very.

I think the teapot might get you out of trouble.

They have had a number already in this sale,

and I marked the ones with animals on the top were making about £50.

So, first up is the Art Deco case. Here it comes.

The Art Deco cigarette case.

Start me cheap. £30 for it.

-£30?

-30, 32, 35.

35, 38, 40.

42. At £40 bid. At 42? 45,

48, 50,

55, 60.

60? Five.

65. The only gambler in the room is £60. Well done.

-BANGS GAVEL

-£60. It is a gamble.

-Mm.

But, sadly, it hasn't gone your way. Minus £35.

Next is the Redware teapot. Here it comes.

Pay attention to this.

This clay teapot, Chinese of course,

glazed and decorated with dragons and Dog of Fo in the handles and the lid.

-Four commission bids.

-Wow!

I think I've cracked it.

I'm bid £100.

I'm bid £200.

£200? Yes!

-I'm bid £300.

-Yes!

-Huh!

-I told you it was lovely.

-I'm bid £400.

Pay me 420, pay me 420.

450. I've got 480, 500.

500, 520, 550.

Girls, this is unbelievable.

All the bids all the way from China. We may have 550. Are we done at 520?

Once at 520.

Twice at 520.

All done at 520. Last chance, gone at 520. Well done.

£520! Girls, this is fantastic.

-Are you so clever. £520. Look at that.

-Love you.

-I love you two.

-You have just made £490.

Anyway, let's settle down now. Next up are your glass doorknobs.

Ten pounds? Ten pounds.

Ten pounds. Give me ten pounds the lot. Ten pounds.

Bid at ten. At ten. Give me 12.

At ten pounds. At ten pounds. No money at all at ten pounds.

All done at £10. You've got a bargain.

£10 is minus £15, but, quite frankly, who cares?

THEY LAUGH

You are plus £440.

-That's all the fours.

-You'll enjoy the party.

-We'll have to go to the cash machine.

This is getting up there in record-breaking territory, girls. This is marvellous.

-You can book a holiday.

-We hope somebody loves it as much as I do.

-Now, the next decision,

having got £440 already in the bank,

is are you going to go with Charlie's Apostle spoon?

-Are you going with it, Annie?

-We're going with it.

-Are you happy, Sheila?

-Yeah.

They're going to take a punt and go with the Apostle spoon, and here it comes.

English hallmark silver Apostle spoon here. London 1913.

£20? £20 for it. Bid at £20, at £20. Give me 22, 22.

Give me 22. 22. Thank you. 25, 28.

28? At £25.

£25. At £25.

Go on. £26.

26. 27? 28?

28. We got there in the end. 29?

-30?

-30 quid and be done with it.

30. 31?

31. 32?

At 31. £31. All done at £31. Your last chance. Going at 31.

£31.

That is plus £1 from Charlie Ross. He is the big contributor today,

making your profit overall £441.

-Oh.

-I cannot believe that happened.

Anyway, well done Annie for spotting it.

-You must be really chuffed, darling.

-Yeah.

The big thing now is, let's not spoil the Blue team's day.

-Let's say nothing.

-Right.

-Do you know how the Reds got on?

-Nope.

-No idea.

-We haven't seen them.

-No idea? Well, you won't see them for smoke.

Talking of smoke, first up is your fire bell, right?

Feeling confident about that, Neil?

-Well...

-Mixed feelings?

-Deep breath and hope for the best.

-I can see the potential.

Here it comes.

A vintage, red-painted cast brass, wall-mounted fire alarm bell.

Would you bid me £50 for it? £50 for it?

-£30 for it?

-Come on.

£30 for it? £20 for it?

£20? 22? 22.

25, 28.

-30, 32, 35. 38, 40.

-No.

42. Bid at £40. Give me 42.

Give me 42. 40, 42.

42. 45?

Your bid at 42. 48.

45, give me 48. Are we done at £45? We're done at 45.

-I'm going to sell at 45. It's your last chance. 45 and going.

-£45 is five short of 50.

That's £75 down the proverbial.

Minus 75. Not a great start that, is it, really, minus 75?

Anyway, never mind. Let's get our bottoms down then and look at the tractor seat.

A Nicholson of Newark cast iron tractor saddle seat. What's it worth? £50 for it?

£20 for it. I'm bid at £20. £20. Give me 22. £20.

25, 28. 25 is all I've been bid so far. 25.

At £25. At £25. All done at £25.

I'm going to go at £25. Your last chance. Sorry.

Boys, £25. West London's not best at those.

30. That would be £55, that.

£55 loss.

Uh-oh. Next, the Doulton candlesticks. Here they come.

We have Doulton Lambeth silicon ware candlesticks.

Start me... What shall it be? £30.

£30?

-£20?

-You'll be lucky.

£20?

A bid at £20. You feel sorry for me.

A bid at £20. 22? 22. 25?

25, 28?

28? 30. 32.

I've got 35 over there now.

You're well in profit with this.

38? £35.

So far I'm bid at £35. Once at 35, twice at 35,

36?

-At 35. I've tried enough. At 35.

-BANGS GAVEL

£25 is plus £15.

You were minus £130, you're now minus 115.

-That's not too bad.

-How good is that?

Now, your next decision is to either go with the walking stick or not.

-Are you going to do that?

-We've got to.

-It's a no-brainer.

-Exactly.

I mean, £40 is all the boy paid for it. Yeah?

-We're going to get over £115 for this, Jonathan.

-Definitely? You're going with this?

-Definitely.

Are you happy with that, Ricardo?

The silver crook handle walking cane. Hallmark silver walking cane.

-It's £100 for it.

-(Come on.)

-£50 for it.

-(Come on.)

£50 for it. I'm going to struggle with this one. £40 for it?

Come on.

£30 for it. A bid at £30. 32? You're bidding 32. 35?

38? At £35. In the red at 35.

£35. At £35. Give me 38?

38. 40?

At £38 in front of me.

-At 38.

-Come on.

-The bidding's stopped at £38.

£38. It's going to go once at £38, it's for nothing. Twice at £38.

-£38, madam.

-BANG GAVEL

£38. It's for nothing. There we go. Minus £2. Bad luck, JP.

-You're minus 117, OK?

-My lucky number.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-What, minus 117?

It's quite a good lucky number, that. Anyway, the big thing is, don't say a word to the Reds.

Never in your wildest dreams could you imagine

that there could be such a disparity between our teams today.

The team that are the runners-up today, most substantially, are the Blues.

Bad luck, chaps. Minus 117.

It doesn't sound too bad when you say it quickly. No.

I mean, you made the £15 profit on the cracked Doulton candlesticks,

which was the high point of the affair.

-But apart from that, it was entirely down the plughole.

-Yep, totally.

But, you've been smashing chums through it all.

There has been no dissent whatever in this team.

It's been a tribute to see the Britishness of it all.

You need to be brave now. The next result is going to surprise you.

The Reds are walking home with £441 profit.

Ha-ha-ha. How about that, girls?

-Thanks to Ann.

-Thanks to Ann. Well, that's what £441...

-Can I count it?

No, not now. We haven't got long enough for you to count it.

There's your £1 left over.

-In your wildest dreams you couldn't have believed this morning.

-Absolutely not.

-I'm glad it was the teapot because I loved it.

-Yes.

-There were are.

-I hope somebody loves it who's bought it.

-I have no doubt they will do,

otherwise they're bonkers. On that happy note,

-join us soon for some more bargain hunting. Yes?

-Yes!

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