Dorking 23 Bargain Hunt

The Surrey town of Dorking

has more antiques shops than you can shake a stick at,

which makes it a Mecca for both collectors and sellers.

So, what are we waiting for? Let's go bargain-hunting, yeah!

There are something like 150 dealers plying their trade

up and down this stretch of road.

So, we're going to be spoiled for choice indeed.

But how will our teams fare when they only have one hour

to whip round the lot of them?

Here's a quick sneak preview as to what's coming up.

On today's programme, the Red team are animal crackers...

We both really like cats.

I do quite like this turkey.

..whilst the Blue team are no slackers.

Yes!

-Oh, wow!

-You just shook!

-We haven't said yes yet!

-It's too late!

While over at the auction, it all gets rather emotional.

Ho-ho-ho...!

'Let's all get acquainted, hey?'

On today's show, we've got a brace of couples.

We've got Alice and Gord for the Reds,

-and Matt and Phoebe for the Blues. Hello, everyone.

-ALL: Hello.

Lovely to see you. Now, Alice - how did you two meet?

We met at university. Gord was studying for his masters,

and I was studying for my undergraduate.

-We met through friends of friends. He was in a band.

-Was he?

-Yeah.

-Was it a good band?

-No!

-He was a singer.

-So, I take it you don't sing any more, Gord?

No - I was terrible at it.

But nevertheless, it was the meeting point, which is important, isn't it?

-Yes.

-And you are now married.

-Yes.

-How long have you been married?

-Two months.

-Have you?!

-Yes.

-Gosh!

-This is our honeymoon.

-Come on Bargain Hunt on your honeymoon!

-Yes!

-It's going to be a long and successful marriage!

-Yes!

Now, once upon a time, you used to draw objects from the ground,

-and now, you draw objects IN the ground.

-Yes, at uni,

I was studying geology, and now I work for the Government

-and draw maps.

-Do you?

-Yes!

-It's very interesting, I love it.

-Because strictly speaking,

-you're a palaeontologist, aren't you?

-Yes, that's what I studied.

Yes, but all these rocks, for a fact,

-are millions and millions of years old...

-Yes.

..whereas you, Gordy, in our job, are at the cutting edge

-of modernity?

-Yeah, erm,

I do... Well, people at my work call me

the Twitter man, but, erm...

I do social media and press for the London Assembly.

-Do you?

-Yeah.

-And what do you get up to in your free time?

I collect vintage cameras, and I like taking pictures

with them - it's not going to be great for Bargain Hunt,

-because they're not worth very much, and, er...

-Well,

you're unlikely to buy fossils and you're unlikely to buy cameras -

-what is on your radar to buy today?

-Well,

-our main rule was, something that makes us laugh.

-Yeah.

Something that we just see and think,

"Why did anybody make that?!

-"What is the use for this?!"

-Yeah.

Just a little bit pointless.

What fun! Thank you for coming.

That's great. Now, Matt - you're a man of the jazz, yes?

-Yes, I am.

-And that's how you met Phoebe?

-Yes.

I started a jazz band a few years ago,

-and she was the first singer who came along.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-How lovely is that?

-I take it you'll not be taking Gord on?

-I'm tempted now.

-Are you?

-Retire Phoebe, and then swap.

-Anyway, that's how you met...

-Yes.

-..because you came to perform.

-Yeah.

And how do you rate her voice, then - is she a pretty good singer?

Yes, she gets by! No, she's good, she's very good.

-Good. And do you still sing, Phoeb?

-Yeah, I do. I sing and I teach

-singing, and, erm, yeah.

-Oh, do you? Right! You do it professionally?

-Yep.

-So, outside music, what do you get up to?

-Erm, we do quite a lot of walking, and...

-Like to take photos.

-Outdoorsy stuff.

-Yeah.

-Biking - you like biking, I don't so much.

-Yep - I like cycling.

I've got a nice, old, vintage, erm, racing bike,

-specifically made for me.

-Was it?

-Yeah.

How do you get one bespoke made, isn't that terribly expensive?

Er, my friend, actually, he made it for me.

He got an old vintage frame, and then

he customised it for me and resprayed it and...

-So, it really is bespoke.

-Yep, exactly for my size, as well.

-I'm liking it.

-It's a child's bike!

That's one way of putting it!

Anyway, while we're on the childish note, let's hand out some money -

-except this is real money. There's your £300.

-Thank you.

You know the rules. Your experts await -

and off you go! And very, very, very good luck!

So, that's our teams. Now, how are their experts?

Helping the Reds to see clearly, it's Thomas Plant.

And in reflective mood for the Blues,

it's Claire Rawle.

-Alice, Gord, are you excited?

-Yes!

-So am I.

We... Don't sound so enthusiastic!

What's the strategy, what are you after, Phoebe?

I'm looking for musical instruments.

-I want something that makes me laugh.

-Really?

-Yes.

I would like some silver, any kind of silver at all.

Are we looking for a Canadian point of view on this?

Oh, I'd like something older than Canada.

Right, let's get on with it. Here we are, let's see what we can find.

OK, teams, your 60 minutes have started, so get stuck in!

Wow, this place is huge!

-We both really like cats.

-Yeah.

-Cats?

We love them.

Oh, no!

No messing about - Matt has got right to the point.

That's really quite pretty, a little Art Nouveau...

It's got enamelling on the back - I think it's really decorative.

I think the ink well looks right. The pen is probably just surplus,

-but perhaps have a closer look at it?

-Yes.

-How old do you think it is?

-I think it's probably turn of the century,

maybe sort of 1890-1900?

I'll go and see if I can find somebody to help us.

Let me just squeeze past. I'm afraid of knocking things off the tables.

I think they were worried about knocking pounds off the price tag.

Now, I wonder. If the Blues get the ink well,

maybe the Reds can get the pussy to put into it.

Ha! Ding-dong bell!

-Hello!

-I can't see any pussy cats though.

-I'll find one.

-You just keep your eyes peeled for one, Gord.

-Lovely, this.

-Very decorative, isn't it?

-It's beautiful.

-Yes.

-What's this made of?

-It's brass.

You've got this sort of nice enamelling on the ivy leaves.

Nice top on it. Feel it, go on.

-Mmm!

-Do you like it?

-Yeah, it's cool.

It's nice quality. Very decorative. And they do make good gifts.

So even though people don't use the sort of ink, they still like.

Do you have any sort of discretion on this at all?

Yes, we do, actually. Got 120 on it.

Yeah, so, what's the very best price?

Probably, as it's Bargain Hunt, we'd do it for 80.

You might not see a huge profit on that,

but it's a nice object for that.

-Go on, you're in charge.

-Oh, no!

-This one's yours. If you're happy with that.

-Um, yes!

LAUGHTER

Right! You're a man of good taste.

Well, guys, that was really, really quick. Amazing. Well spotted!

I agree, Claire. Five minutes gone and that's item number one.

Definitely not pussyfooting about.

But neither are those Reds.

Thomas has spotted something hiding in the undergrowth.

-What about big cats, lions and tigers?

-Yeah, they're good, yeah.

OK. And there's one here.

-There's a tiger there.

-Oh, wow!

-Look at him, roaring away! You like that?

-Oh, late Victorian.

-I don't think you'll find another one of those.

-No, definitely not.

-£55. Shall we have a look at him?

-Yeah!

-Shall I go and get the key?

"Please ask for Cabinet G" - for Gord! OK, I'll go and do that.

-You stay here and have a look.

-Great.

Gosh, they pounced on that tiger!

Both teams are hitting the ground running.

GORD LAUGHS

It's big. What do you think?

What do you like about it? Do you like it?

-I like it because it's really big. It's kind of in-your-face.

-Yeah.

-Do you want us to find out what the best possible deal is on it?

-Yes.

-55? We can do it for 48.

-That's pretty good.

Well, unfortunately, as a simpleton,

I can't do eights. I can only do zeros and fives. So 40.

Yeah, I'll have to make a call.

No, that'll be fine.

Yeah, if you can do it for 40.

-40, definitely, yeah.

-You do?

-Yeah!

You wouldn't even think about it?

-That's the price I originally thought.

-Really? OK.

-40. It gets the cat requirement out of the way.

-Well, yeah...

LAUGHTER

This is it. Is it going to make more of a profit?

I mean, the only thing is, tigers are quite popular. Certainly.

-You know, these majestic beasts.

-Yeah.

But it is probably Indian, and it's probably going to be

mid 20th-century, rather than early 20th-century.

Well, let's just see what happens, then we can carry on.

That's cool. What is that? Claire?

Um, yeah, I just didn't know what this was.

That's a billiards marker board.

So it would be up on the wall where you play your billiards.

Riley is, if you like,

the Rolls-Royce of makers of anything to do with billiards.

So it's a nice thing. Actually quite collectable. 145.

-That's actually quite steep.

-Keep looking...

That might be worth looking at. See if there's something else.

That's your cue to move on, Blues.

Now, across the street with the Reds,

there's a game of cat and mouse afoot.

-45.

-Did he? Ugh! Put it back.

-We'll think.

-We'll think, yeah.

I think we've gone too quick. We've jumped the gun.

If you're going to really think about it, 40 would be OK.

-ALL:

-Oh!

Then we'll think about it even more!

LAUGHTER

-Oh, yeah.

-Is that a deal you're doing?

-Yeah, yeah. Why not?

-Fair enough.

-Is it one of our three?

-Are you doing one?

-Yeah, fine.

So, we get the cat thing out of the way.

Now you're free to spread your influence.

-Well, I can...

-LAUGHTER

If you see any more moggies, TP, we may have to call you Tom cat!

Oh, no!

There's Lalique ware, a Lalique pussy cat.

So, Tom cat it is, then!

There's lots of them.

Yeah, I know! I'm being surrounded by cats.

This is the right shop. I don't know much about Lalique.

So, in the 1920s, 1930s, he came up with a technique of moulding glass,

but also putting in opalescence, and frosting it.

And the moulded glass has become so popular over the years,

Lalique, marked R Lalique,

is all going to be pre-1930s,

so, for example, that's marked R Lalique there. Isn't that pretty?

That's gorgeous. Pricey, though.

They are extremely pricey, yes, but it's highly collectable.

I did quite like this turkey.

THEY LAUGH

Really? Actually, that's NOT Lalique.

The opalescence is stronger in there,

and that's from a factory called Sabino, from the 1920s.

That's a nice resource!

Let me carry on with you, because we're not going to let you

buy something in the next sort of five minutes.

And it hasn't made me laugh, so...

He's quite funny.

That's it, Thomas. Claw back your authority!

Meanwhile, the Blues are scaling up their search.

The Viking scales. And that is how old?

I think they're probably going to date from about the '20s, '30s?

Maybe even slightly later than that. But they were using them...

But of course, people are using them again.

Yeah, they're really fashionable at the moment, aren't they?

Yeah, yeah. They're quite nice quality. Nice brass pan as well.

-I like them.

-So, they've got 47 on them.

Whether they'll come down or not, if you can get them as near 20 as

possible, we'd have more of a chance of making a bit of a profit on them.

-Shall I go and see if I can...?

-Yeah.

Right, I'll go and find someone.

Do you want me to go and find him so you won't have to walk up...?

Actually, that's really kind of you.

-Offer him a tenner!

-OK.

-OK!

So, shall we go to Dorking Antiques? Yeah?

It's down here on the left.

Hang on, guys, let's go, let's go. That's brilliant.

If the antiques expert work ever dries up, Tom,

I think lollipop man could be your next gig. Or maybe doorman.

-Hi! Right. You've found the man.

-I have.

-Hello!

-Hi.

Right. Evie has a question to ask you.

Um, what's the best price you could do on the scales?

Well, this is the bargain basement.

-Um, we can do it for 30.

-Mmm...

No movement at all on that? Not at all? You can't go down near 25?

-26.

-£25.50.

-Oh!

-Go on, then!

-Oh, wow!

-You shook! We haven't said yes yet!

-Too late!

LAUGHTER

Well, that's two rather spur-of- the-moment purchases for the Blues.

Is it about time the Reds found something else?

Anything in here? You walked in and out so quick.

-Yeah, she's not a clock person.

-Well, you see, tempus fugit!

That's nice. Is it Art Deco?

It IS Art Deco. How do you know that's Art Deco?

Erm, I can just tell! Yes.

I like Art Deco. I like the child riding the dog on the top.

So this says...Oh!

No, we wouldn't spend that, no...

You can negotiate and try and get it at half price.

140. Why not? You're being very, very British about this.

-Yes, go on, Canadian!

-I don't...

HE MUMBLES SHYLY

LAUGHTER

Have faith! It's a slap in the face.

An offer is never a slap in the face. An offer is a fair offer.

-It's extremely stylish.

-It's beautiful.

-Beige marble. Spelter.

Up the top, there.

A chrome front with silver dial. And black Arabic numerals.

Yeah, they're very, yeah, with the clock face.

But, do you want me to have a conversation?

Do you want me to have a conversation?

-See what will happen.

-Yeah.

All right, stay there.

As cheap as you can get.

Gone all brave now, ain't ya?

I'm terrible at haggling!

Different shop now?

-If you want to go to a different shop, we can fix it.

-Yeah.

Well, I've asked the shop owner to phone and find out about this for us

-and see if we can get a good deal on it.

-OK.

She's going to come back in and tell us the news.

I've found a lice comb, an antique lice comb.

-Have you?

-Yeah.

Doesn't look big enough, does it?

I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before.

-Do you like that?

-No.

-Yeah, it's going to be too much!

-Oh!

Bated breath.

Right, I got through to him, and he said,

only because it's Bargain Hunt,

you can have it for £145.

-That's amazing, yeah.

-I'm amazed as well!

That's amazing. Thank you!

So you would have offered 200,

because you didn't want to annoy the lady?

Thank you. We'll have that, yeah?

-That's the number two item.

-Great, love it.

We kind of rushed on the first one, in two minutes?

Just saw it, and we were like yes, just get it.

But this one, we've actually thought about. And got a very good price.

I think.

-I think. It's very heavy.

-It's very heavy.

They started with amusement, antiques which made them laugh.

But I think their sensible heads then came on.

And they've decided to buy antiques for profit.

And I certainly think Alice spotting that Art Deco garnetiere has done very well.

Well, there's a change for the better in the Red camp.

-And enthusiasm is high for the final push.

-Let's do it.

-There's nothing like a challenge, is there? Let's go.

-Whoo!

-So I'm feeling good about the next centre.

-Yeah.

Now, across the road,

the Blues have happened upon a rather left-field choice.

-Claire?

-I'm coming. Have you spotted something?

OK.

Oh, right, old documents, old deeds.

Depends what they are, really, because, of course,

a lot of solicitors' offices have these. So.

Yeah, I mean, there is actually

a good collectors' market for deeds and debentures.

-Is there just the two of them?

-Yeah.

You know, if you could get them for a tenner

we'd probably make some money out of them.

Erm...

They're not THAT old,

as far as I can see, 1849, 1850. As far as documents go.

But they are quite a nice item.

-Shall we...

-Quite unusual.

Yeah, let's find...

Go on, then.

Are you going to go and find the person this time? OK.

In today's world, handwritten documents like these are seen

as curios, and a gold mine for local historians.

As our auction's but a few miles from Brighton,

these examples could have added appeal.

That aside, the calligraphy is a delight to look at, don't you think?

-We have a large glass vase.

-I love otters.

-Do you like that?

I love that.

-It's not very old, but it's big and bold. Exciting.

-Pricey.

I like it.

See what happened with the clock?

You were right. You're right.

-I know, but...

-As I said to you. An offer is an offer.

And an otter is an otter.

And you like otters, don't you?

THEY LAUGH

Do you want to look at that?

Do you want to see if we can get the price down, or is it a no-goer? No?

Right, getting a no. Move on, then. Right, move away from it, come on.

Move through, please.

Hello. You were wanting to find out the price of?

Yes, your best price, your very, very best price.

-What's the deal you've got on the ticket here?

-29.

-29, hmmm.

-You need to make a profit, don't you?

-Yes.

-Um, let's think.

-Would you take a tenner?

Ooh.

Say 15? Would that help you?

Ten, really. Cos there's only two of them.

They're not that old, as far as deeds go. So we might just...

-All right, I'll square it with him.

-Tenner?

-This is your last item, isn't it?

-Well, it's the right area.

-Yes, because it's Manor of Brighton, so that's...

-OK!

-Done. Sorry. Yes!

-He's all decisive!

-OK, done, thank you very much.

-Thank you.

Yeah, and for someone that was looking for a piece of silver!

-Yeah, I know!

-Brilliant!

Brilliant indeed. That's all three items bought inside 50 minutes.

You've got some catching up to do, Reds.

So there's some lovely jewellery here in this cabinet.

So I think maybe a bit of jewellery might be your next purchase?

It's all very nice, but...

Do you want me to sort of suggest? Or not?

I don't think it's worth anything,

but I saw over here, as I was walking past...

I really like that scarab beetle.

The scarab beetle. Shall we have a look at the scarab?

Yeah. I really like that.

-We really are going for the animal theme, aren't we?

-Yes!

-The scarab.

Oh, it's got some weight to it. I'll show it to you.

It's not that old, but have a look at it.

-It is lovely, isn't it?

-It is, isn't it?

-I think it's beautiful. What do you think?

-I like it a lot.

-It looks like it's been cast in silver.

-OK.

-I would wear that myself.

-Shall we see what we can do with the price?

-I'll leave that to you guys.

-Yes.

-Go and have a conversation.

What's on the tag here?

Go on, go on.

SHE LAUGHS

-Give me an idea.

-Um...

I don't know, but...

SHE GIGGLES

-We've spent quite a bit of our money.

-Yeah. Um...

It's a good piece, isn't it?

Yes, it's beautiful.

25 on the ticket.

-If we go down to 15, would that help you?

-15 sounds good to me.

-Yeah!

Yeah, no, yeah, that would be great.

-Shake on it.

-Brilliant.

-Thanks.

Well done. £15.

-That is some negotiation!

-Yes!

They've been really nervous about it, the whole time.

But well done, you. Third and final item.

If you don't ask, you don't get.

-That's so true.

-Absolutely. That's what I was saying to you guys.

Step away from your antiques, please, because time is up.

Let's check out what the Red team bought, eh?

They went on the prowl for the brass 20th-century tiger,

and bought it for £40.

Next was the Art Deco clock and garnetiere, for a cut-down £145.

Lastly, they BROOCHED the subject of haggling, sort of,

and came away with the stag beetle brooch for £15.

-Well, this has been a gas, hasn't it? Have you had a good time?

-Yeah.

-It's been such fun.

-Good. What's the favourite bit for you, so far?

-I have to say, some good bargaining on our little scarab.

-Yes.

-Pleased with the scarab?

-Yes.

-Was that your favourite piece?

That's my favourite.

What about you, Gord?

I would say that the clock's my favourite,

-but the scarab, that was a good moment. We bargained.

-Did you?

-Yeah.

Actually, what they're forgetting to say is,

there's been a whole animal theme, through the day.

We've done the mammals. And we're on insects with the scarab.

How are you getting on with reptiles?

-Well, reptiles could be next.

-Oh, could they?

-Or something.

Anyway, there we go. How much did you spend, in total?

-We spent 200.

-£200? That is such a mature amount of money!

That's £100 of leftover loll, please. Who's got that?

Thank you, Gord.

You don't like handing it over. That's a tidy sum.

Tom - what are you going to spend it on?

Something that involves a reptile, maybe?

Reptile, amphibian, something! It's got to be animal theme.

All right, good luck with that.

Meanwhile, we're going to check out what the Blue team bought.

First up, they got the 19th-century brass and enamel ink stand for £80.

They couldn't "weight" to pick up the kitchen scales for a

not-so-hefty £25.50.

Finally, they spent £10 of the folded stuff on some folded

stuff - two Victorian "Manor of Brighton" documents, to be precise.

Matthew, Phoebe. Have you been good children today, or bad children?

-Good, I think!

-True or false, Claire?

-They've been very good.

-You had a nice time?

-Yes.

-Yes, we did.

Great couple. Just tell me, what is your favourite piece, please?

I like the deeds, the paper bits we got at the end.

Favourite favourite. Do you agree with that, Phoebs?

I like the scales.

-So, what exactly did you spend?

-£115.50.

-Did you?

-Yes!

That's a very queer old number!

Not very much, if you don't mind my saying.

-No, we were intending to spend a bit more.

-Matt, you're clearly a genius.

How much leftover lolly is that? I can't do the maths!

£184.50.

184.50 - genius, thank you.

I certainly couldn't do that and I believe you! Millions wouldn't.

-Thank you very much.

-Into the maul of Rawle...

-What is Claire going to do with it?

-Ah, that's a big secret.

I have seen something that I'm after,

so I'll just go off and do my best.

The green enigma!

LAUGHTER

Good luck all round.

Meanwhile, I'm going to show you something small, silvery,

collapsible and really rather sweet.

What do you suppose that little mark on a piece of silver means?

Well, it looks a bit like a kite and it's called a kitemark.

It is a design registration mark from the Victorian period

that shows that the maker of this object once upon a time

went to the authorities and registered the design because

he thought it was so special and so clever that it needed protecting.

And in fact, if you're a collector of small pieces of silver,

you could do far worse than keeping your eye open

for bits of silver that have that mark on it.

Because it usually indicates that that little object is

special in some way, shape or form.

What is this thing?

It looks a bit like a model of a lighthouse. But it ain't.

It's got tapering sections that run down the side,

but the idea is that it will collapse, like this.

And if you look at that object sideways on, it looks

just like the screw-on cap on the top of a scent bottle

or drinking flask.

But how can this be?

Well, inside the body of the thing, you can

see the vestiges of a thread and once upon a time,

this sat on the top of a flask filled with booze.

So that if you were of the hunting, shooting and fishing variety,

in 1879, this would have been the smartest thing to

have on top of your flask because on a cold morning,

you would simply undo the top of the flask and draw out a cup,

like this, into which you could pour your warming tot.

Let's give it a test, shall we?

I haven't got any cherry brandy,

but what I have got is a bottle of water.

Pouring the water like that... There we go, look. Top it up, like that.

Look at the sides, do they leak? No, they don't.

The vessel works! Mm.

Neck it. That is delicious.

Each of the sections are fully hallmarked for 1879

and the design registration mark dates it to that year,

so it's early in the production run.

My challenge is to go out there and find a period spirit flask

that's either got a clapped-out screw-on top or not one at all.

So it's going to cost me 10 or £20, perhaps.

I'll put the two together because I paid for this thing,

without a flask, £50.

Which is not a lot of money.

This, attached to the right bottle, will be worth the top

end of a couple of hundred pounds.

That's what I call getting in the money!

Cheers!

How lovely is this? Wisborough Green, with Jonathan Pratt.

-JP, lovely to see you.

-Nice to see you, Tim.

We've come whizzing across the county line from Dorking with

these goodies. For the Red team, we've got the prowling tiger.

-Doesn't that make you feel proud?

-Oh, yes(!)

This has to be one of the most hideous things, isn't it?

I'm glad you said it. I mean... It's a certain taste though, isn't it?

I don't think Thomas was buying this expecting it to be

something that it wasn't. It's a decorative object.

So, how much, please?

Being generous.

I don't really rate it and I put £10-£20.

I think you're absolutely right.

Alice picked it, she paid £40.

That's the top and bottom of that.

Then we've got this clock garniture,

which I think is a really weird mixture of something that IS

Art Deco capped by a very Victorian-looking

piece of sculpture.

You do get Art Deco pieces which aren't all Art Deco, don't you?

You'll often see pottery with traditional decoration in a strong Art Deco style.

Mm. What's your estimate?

-My estimate is £80-£120.

-They paid a phenomenal £145.

And lastly, is the silver model of a stag beetle.

It's not that badly cast...

-If you like an insect crawling up your lapel...it's perfect.

-Fine.

-How much? 20 to 30.

-OK, £15 paid.

I think they may need to go with the Bonus Buy,

so let's go and have a look at it.

Alice, Gord, how are you feeling?

-Good. Excited.

-Well, this is your Bonus Buy.

You spent £200, which was very respectable.

Thomas Plant had £100, Thomas, what did you spend it on?

-I followed the theme.

-Good.

-Ooh.

-In there is a little grenouille -

the French name for a frog.

-Have a look.

-OK. Can I take it out?

Yes, yes - take it out, have a look.

It's by somebody very famous.

Look at him there!

-I think you explained this to us.

-It's by Lalique!

-Yes!

LAUGHTER

He's a great sort of iolite blue.

-It's beautiful.

-It's a lovely colour.

-It is, isn't it?

-How much did you buy it for?

-£70.

Ooh - how much do you think it's worth?

I think there's a small profit. I have to say, I was playing the margin game

and thought you might get a tenner out of it.

I like it, but if it was bigger!

LAUGHTER

What's the matter with little frogs, then?

They're all right!

-"All right", she says!

-It's life-size!

You got the message, you don't pick now,

you pick later if you want to,

but why don't we find out, for the audience at home,

what the auctioneer thinks about Tom's little frog.

-Well, it's got the right name on the bottom.

-Yes! Rene Lalique.

-Oh-aye.

-Little pale blue frog. This is modern.

-Yes.

Nice colour.

It is a nice colour and people do collect glass ornaments

-and why not have a Lalique one?

-Why not? They're expensive enough.

They are indeed, very expensive indeed.

So what's the second-hand value of that frog, then?

I'd have thought between 40 and £60.

OK, £70 paid by Thomas,

who is pandering to the animal theme on this side of the table.

That's it for the Reds.

Now, moving over to another wacky group of gear,

first up it's the encrier, in brass and enamel.

Do you like that?

It's a bit of a pastiche of styles...

If you've got a desk and you like that sort of stuff

and you use a nice long pen on a stand or whatever,

it's just for you.

And you might be prepared to pay at auction, how much?

Well, I don't really rate it that highly - £40-£60.

£80, they paid. I don't rate it highly, either.

-Now, next is the Viking kitchen scales.

-Well, the kitchen is the new dining room, isn't it, Timothy?

It is, but if you're a housewife and a cook,

surely you don't want to be mucking about with lumps of brass like that?

You want a nice digital weighing machine to tell you how many

-grams you've got in milliseconds?

-Why?

-What?

-What you need that for?

Because you're doing cookery...

Yeah, but... But everyone likes baking and it's all about...

Again, conjuring up the old traditional way that Grandma

-and Mother used to do it.

-OK, there you are.

If you put it in at Gas Mark five, what would it come out?

I've done a rather sort of...

I've chickened out and put a wider £20-£40.

That's all right, they paid £25.50. Precisely.

So that's the amount that you've got to get to and I think you

probably will, mainly because the weights are there.

-They're in the frame.

-They should be.

What about these vellum documents?

I quite like this.

It took me quite a while to try and understand exactly what was

going on, but I did discover it's between some chap Atree

and another chap - it's some sort of business transaction,

and they're both for the same man, as well.

Both documents are together.

It's a sort of decorative object - frame it up,

pretend it relates to something that relates to something, maybe.

-Yes.

-Anyway, it's not big bucks. How many bucks?

-I put between 20 and 40 again.

-Ten bucks paid.

So there you go, they might make a small profit on that.

But overall, it'll be the ink stand that torpedoes them if anything is

going to torpedo them, so let's go and have a look at their Bonus Buy.

OK, Phoebe, Matt - this is your moment.

You gave Claire £184.50.

Claire, what did you spend it on?

Here it is, da-dah!

A little silver, pierced bonbon dish.

It's so, so pretty. Late Victorian, it was assayed in Birmingham, 1899.

I just thought it was really pretty. Very decorative.

-Shame there's no sweets in it.

-Well, could be arranged later!

It is really light, isn't it?

LAUGHTER

Would you say featherweight?!

-Sorry about that!

-Not heavy enough!

-How much was it?

I spent £40 on it.

-OK.

-OK, its silver weight is not huge, its scrap weight,

but it's going to sell as a decorative collectable item.

The decoration is really, really pretty. I'd put it at £50-£70.

-Want to have a look?

-I'd rather have a sweet!

I know what you mean, though.

Anyway, thank you very much for that, Claire.

You can think about it, team, but let's find out from the auctioneer,

for the audience at home, what he thinks about Claire's little dish.

-Now, fancy a bonbon?

-Ah, thank you very much -

don't mind if I do.

So a little English silver bonbon dish, but it's quite simply made.

Very decorative in that respect, but you can see all this white powder

in there, that it's been cleaned within an inch of its life...

Somebody loved it.

Yes, but sadly now, there's a hole through it where

they cleaned it so much...

Oh, look - they've rubbed all the way through.

-What would you reckon it at, then?

-Between 30 and £50.

OK, Claire paid £40, which is reasonable for a Bonus Buy.

Difficult enough to find these things.

So, she might be lucky and turn a profit on that,

if the team decide to go with it.

Which is the excitement of coming to auction!

Which is going to be fun today, isn't it?

-It's going to be great fun.

-Good.

-OK, Alice, Gordy - how are you feeling?

-Er...!

-Confident.

-You're confident?

-No, not really!

Anything you wish you hadn't bought, Gordon?

Feeling a little iffy on the brass tiger.

-He's just not particularly well made, that's the problem.

-Oh!

But on the other hand, it's chunky.

And people love Tiggers.

Anyway, here comes the prowling tiger.

£10 to start me for this. £10 for the prowling tiger.

Every sideboard should have one.

-Come on, £10. Five, then.

-Oh, no!

Don't be silly. £5.

Five on the internet, starts me off at £5.

I'll take that bid at £5, but I want to go up now. Where's eight?

£5. Eight anyone? Eight. Back in the room.

At £8, let's get double figures, come on.

£8 against you, internet, are you going to go?

-£8, by the doorway, £10 is bid.

-Yeah!

-12, sir?

£10 on the net.

At £10 and selling, all done at 10...

-£10 is minus 30.

-Oh, God!

Alice...darling!

Good start(!)

An Art Deco marble clock and garniture with two-chain movement

and the surmount models a child and a dog.

£80 to start me, £80.

Nice garniture, this, for £80.

Let's start... Let's go to £40 and go upwards.

Come on, £40 the clock garniture and we can go up. Nice clock, this.

40 with the lady in the centre. Now we're creeping up.

45.

-Madam? 50.

-Yes.

55. 55, the gentleman on the left by the bookcase. Internet 60.

60 on the net. No, he says.

Any more at £60? Last chance, everybody else.

Internet is getting it at 60... £60.

GAVEL BANGS

Oh, no - that's minus 85!

-85...

-Oh, dear - a three-figure loss.

..Minus 115.

..a stag beetle. Two commission bids I have.

We'll start with me at 10, 12, £15.

That's how much we paid for it.

15, I'm bid, to start me.

15. 18 and 20. £20.

With me still, against you at £20,

do you want to go one more? 22, 25.

£25, then. You're out? £25. All done at 25...

GAVEL BANGS

Yes, £25 is plus £10, thank goodness you got a profit!

You're minus 105.

What are you going to do about the Lalique frog?

Oh, we're going to go for it.

Now you've made that decision, I can tell you that the auctioneer's

estimate is 40 to 60, which is really miserable!

-Well, we'll see how wrong he is, right, Tom?

-Absolutely.

Here comes one glass frog.

Surely worth £40. I don't know how much these cost new.

£40 surely, to start me off. £40.

-Where are we? £20, then?

-Oh!

At 20, five, 30, five,

40...

No, he says. £40, don't shake your head now!

£40 in the centre with the lady, 40. Where's five?

Surely worth more than this? £40. It's Rene Lalique, this.

-£40 with the lady. At 40 I shall sell...

-I can't bear it, Tom.

I'm going to cry.

-All done at 40.

-£40.

I think I'm going to croak.

THEY GROAN

Anyway, minus £30,

that is minus 135.

That's got to be some sort of record.

No, no - it's not a record by a long chalk!

Don't feel badly about that! It's quite a good score, actually!

It's such a good score, it could be a winning score!

Seriously, don't despair.

And mainly, don't say a word to the Blues, OK?

-Look a bit depressed when you go by.

-OK.

-No, we'll look really happy!

All right!

Now, Matt. Phoebs.

-Feeling OK?

-Yeah!

-Do you know how the Reds got on?

-BOTH: No.

-Good.

Right, here we go, then.

Your first item, we're on the edge, is the ink stand.

Nice, attractive lot, this. Useful, too.

Start me at £40, surely? £40.

20, then. £20 bid, thank you. At 20. Let's move up now. 25 waving. 30.

-Going up!

-35, 40. 45.

Has it by the wine. 50, sir? Yes?

-It's yours at £45.

-Oh, I can't bear this.

-50 anywhere else?

OK, at £45, then. I'm selling...

Last chance it is.

50 on the internet now, just in time.

Do you want to come back in again? On the net now at £50.

Five anywhere else?

-Room's out...

-55, 55, 55...

-Selling...

50... 55,

-he's come back.

-Yes!

-Yes!

-At £55, by the wine.

-Go, internet!

Are you going to go one more? Last chance, internet.

For £55...

GAVEL BANGS

Oh, £55. The internet didn't go. You're minus 25.

OK, Viking kitchen scales.

Set of white enamel Viking kitchen scales with the weights,

graduated weights to boot. 15, 20, 25, I'm bid straight off.

-At £25, where's 30?

-Oh!

Who's going to go 30? 30 on the net. internet bid at 30.

-You're in profit.

-£30 on the net.

Are you all done on the net now?

£30 internet bid...

-£30, all done at 30...

-£30.50?

That is £4.50 profit.

-Well done!

-Right, OK!

Now, here come the documents.

Concerning property transactions in the Manor of Brighton.

Start me off at £20.

-Yes, go on.

-£20.

Nice local interest. Sussex. £20. £10, then.

10 is bid by the vase at £10. 12 anywhere else, now? 12 in front.

-15 behind.

-Now you're on your way.

18 is bid. Against you, madam, at £18.

20 behind. I'll take two.

It's not much more. Are you sure?

She says, "Don't do it"! £20, the lady behind. Any more at £20?

-I'll sell it, then.

-Doubled your money.

-At £20...

GAVEL BANGS

Well done, Matt. Plus £10.

So, that's £14.50,

call it 15.

You're minus £10.50.

Minus £10.50.

Which is not a lot of losses, is it?

Listen, that could be a winning score, minus £10.50.

Or you could do a bit of a chancer and go with the bonbon dish.

-We have to.

-OK, fine.

-Why do you have to?

We can't leave her on minus £10.50.

OK, let's go with it. Let's just go with it. Yes.

And here it comes, yes!

An embossed and pierced silver bonbon dish. Where shall I start?

Somebody start me at £30 for it.

Surely worth 30, just for the silver alone. £30.

At 30, someone start me at 30. Where's 30 for it? 20, then?

Got to be worth £20. Come on. Who's going 20? £20, thank you. At 20.

Where's five? Back of the room at £20. Any more at 20? All done.

-Selling, £20.

-£20!

-£20!

-That's your fault!

You had such faith in me, I'm sorry!

Minus £20...

Which overall means that you're minus £30.50.

Oh, that's not bad.

It's not too bad. Not TOO bad!

Anyway, there we go.

Wretched bonbon dish. There we are - shucks.

Just don't say a word to the Reds

and everything will be revealed in a moment, all right?

There's a certain amount of nervous anticipation here as to this

business, because nobody is going home with any money,

but the scale of losses betwixt one team and the other is considerable.

The chasm opens up

and tottering on the far cliff of losses...

are the Reds.

Minus £135 is a good old score, that! Ya!

£85, really, was the clock garniture loss. Insurmountable.

You made a nice £10 profit on the stag beetle,

so you know, it wasn't entirely full of shame.

But I'm afraid it wasn't going down your gutter today, was it, Alice?

-No.

-No, Gordy, bad luck. But you've been very brave about it...

-Thank you for having us.

-Thanks for coming!

It was good fun.

And actually, it's taking part that is really important until you

come to be the winners, of course, over here, who are very pleased!

They managed to win by only losing £30.50.

Which is quite respectable, really, isn't it?

£4.50 profit on the scales.

That was always in the balance(!)

And the documents for a tenner, well, that was just sublime. Yes?

-Yes, it was.

-And then all those other losses...!

LAUGHTER

-..which we'll blank out, right?

-Yes!

Keep singing a tune, that's the answer, Phoebs.

Anyway, very nice to see you,

join us soon for some more bargain hunting, yes?

ALL: Yes!