Episode 13 Beat the Brain


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Episode 13

John Craven hosts the quiz in which a team must navigate puzzles and problems to win money. Four ex-work colleagues who love good banter see if they can Beat the Brain.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

Hello, it's me, The Brain.

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Once again, our four contestants will endeavour to use

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every ounce of their brain matter in order to beat me.

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Think you could do the same?

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Here's some games to get you in the mood.

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Try this next one.

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What number plate do you see?

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I'll ease the pain by giving you the answers at the end of the show.

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Now let's see if our team can show off their mental muscle

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as they attempt to...

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Beat The Brain.

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If the question is, "Who is Britain's best loved host?",

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here's the answer -

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it's John Craven!

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Well, thank you very much indeed, and welcome to the show

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that gives your little grey cells a thorough workout.

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Let's say hello straight away to the mastermind behind our games.

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-How are you today, Brain?

-MISTRESSmind, if you please, John.

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And today I feel I could take on the whole wide world.

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Well, that's a little overambitious, Brain,

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because you just need to take on four people today -

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and that's our team.

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Please introduce yourselves.

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I'm Chris and I'm a project manager.

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I'm Ian and I'm also a project manager.

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I'm Neil and I'm a physiotherapy student.

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I'm Colin, I'm team captain, and I'm a marketing consultant.

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Well, welcome, everybody. You are all from Norfolk.

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And, Colin, the team captain,

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what name have you came up with for the team?

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We are Norfolk Victory -

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in honour of the great Lord Nelson who reigns from our area,

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and we're obviously hoping to be victorious today.

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And how do you all know each other?

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Well, at some point, we've all kind of played music together.

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I suppose you could say, John, we've made sweet music together.

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Apart from maybe Neil, who's maybe more of the fan of the band.

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-What's their music like, then, as their fan?

-Erm, it's patchy.

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They're enthusiastic, which is a good thing,

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but the end product maybe needs a little bit of fine tuning.

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Maybe a lot of fine tuning, to be honest.

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-LAUGHING:

-OK! Well, this is how it works.

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The show's Brain is divided into six Zones.

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And The Brain will select four of these six Zones for you to play today.

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And, Colin, as team captain, it's up to you to decide which member

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you think will be best to play in each of those Zones, OK?

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You'll be playing for time instead of points,

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with every correct answer adding three seconds to your Brain Bank.

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And the more time you build up, the more chance you have

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of beating The Brain in today's final

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and walking away with a jackpot £3,000.

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So, Norfolk Victory, you ready?

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-Yes.

-We're ready, John.

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OK, time to find out which Zone you'll be facing first.

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Brain, a Zone, please.

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It's Language.

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So, Colin, who is going to be best in the Language event?

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As captain, I'll be standing up first.

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The first man off the ship.

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-Captain plays first.

-Absolutely.

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Well, come and join me in the Language Zone.

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APPLAUSE

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Hi, Colin. Nice to see you. Well, you sounded pretty confident there.

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Well, let's hope that confidence remains.

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I think we can beat The Brain today. I'm looking forward to it.

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Let me warn you, The Brain's idea of language is not necessarily yours.

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Well, we shall see, shall we? It should be interesting.

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So tell me a bit about yourself.

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I like to do a lot of sporting adventures.

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I'm also a keen kind of amateur musician. So, in my spare time,

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I like to write music and play a few instruments, etc.

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Right, well, time to put your brain to the test in the Language Zone.

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You'll play two games in this Zone.

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Both games will have three questions worth three seconds each.

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Brain, what's the first game?

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-Hello, Captain Colin.

-Hello, Brain.

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-So you're a songwriter?

-I write some introspective music, yes.

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Could you write a lyric about me, The Brain?

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-Oh, you've put me on the spot there, Brian.

-Do it now!

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-You're putting me on the spot.

-Do it now.

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OK. Brain, oh, Brain, will our love remain?

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Brain, oh, Brain, you must be insane.

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I think we've found a new musician, haven't we?

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Johnny Craven was better.

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Here's your first game, Captain Colin.

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Rearrange the newspaper cuttings to form a word.

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To help you out, have a trial run.

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So what word do those three bits make up?

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-We've got, "NDI" "CAP" and "HA."

-Yeah.

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Erm. The "NDI" doesn't seem like it's going to be

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the start or an end of the word, so I'll put that one in the middle.

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It looks like H and A will go before that to get "HANDI".

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-And then "CAP" on the end.

-Handicap.

-Handicap.

-Yeah.

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Is that correct? Let's have a look.

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Yep. No handicap to you.

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-Fingers crossed.

-So are you ready to play for real?

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Oh, I'm ready. Let's do this.

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Off we go, Brain.

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Captain Colin, you can have as many guesses as you like

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but I will not move on to the next question

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until you give me the correct answer, or pass.

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You only have 45 seconds to answer three questions.

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OK.

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Your game starts now.

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OK. So,

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sal...

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Salami?

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Salami, yes, well done.

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-Second one now.

-OK.

-35 seconds left.

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-That's rookie.

-Rookie.

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Yes, it is indeed. 30 seconds left.

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Here comes the last one.

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OK, then, a difficult one.

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So that'd be... Atast...

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20 seconds.

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Atastichm... No.

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Astic... Ugh.

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10 seconds.

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Erm. Astathmic?

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-Atasthmic?

-No.

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Three seconds.

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Athmicast? That's not a word.

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Never heard of that word!

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What is it, then, please? Let's have a look at the right answer.

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-Asthmatic.

-Asthmatic.

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You were almost there.

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-Almost there, weren't you?

-Yeah.

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That was two out of three which is not a bad start.

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I think there's a song in there somewhere as well, isn't there?

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Let's move on to the second game.

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Oh, Colin, I so wanted it to be Athmicast.

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Here's your second game.

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Use one letter from each column to create a word.

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The clue will help you to find it.

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To get your eye in, Colin, have a trial run.

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-OK, so we're looking for...

-It's only one letter from each column.

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OK, so... This one looks quite difficult to me.

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It is difficult.

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So, right...

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It's trying to get groups of letters together.

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Or do I just think of a four letter herb?

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So I think this one... I can see the answer now.

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I think the answer is mint.

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Mint. M-I-N-T. Let's see if you're right.

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You are indeed, yes.

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-So, you ready to play?

-Let's give it a go.

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Off we go. Let's play the game.

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You have 45 seconds to answer three questions correctly.

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Please remember I can only accept your first answer.

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Your game starts now.

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Way to cook.

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-I'm struggling with this one. I think I'll pass.

-OK.

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30 seconds to go.

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-That was bake.

-Bake.

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Length of time. It's an hour? No.

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No, not hour. Week. Next one.

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One of the senses.

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15 seconds.

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I can see this one and the answer is smell.

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Let's have a look and see.

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You are indeed correct. Well done.

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He did well, didn't he, Brain?

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Absolutely. Very well, Colin.

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You added nine seconds in that Zone.

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This means, in total,

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Norfolk Victory have nine seconds in their Brain Bank.

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APPLAUSE

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So time to find out our next Zone, please,

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and who is going to take it on.

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Brain, a Zone.

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Observation. So, Colin, who do you reckon for Observation?

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I think we said Chris would give this one a go for Observation.

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-Everybody agree?

-Absolutely.

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Right, well, come and join me, Chris, in the Observation Zone.

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APPLAUSE

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-Good to see you.

-You too.

-Do you agree with that?

-Erm...

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Yes, I'm going to have to. But, yes.

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And tell me a bit about yourself.

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I've got a young family, I've got two young boys.

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I work as a project manager for a large insurance company.

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And you're good at observation?

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Having two young boys running around

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and keeping an eye on what's happening.

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They get into quite a lot of mischief, so, yeah,

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keeping an eye on things at home is a big thing.

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Well, let's see how you do, because,

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-Brain, may we have the first of the Observation games?

-Hello, Chris.

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-Hello.

-Is it true you spent a year in Japan?

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It is true, yes.

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Say something to me in Japanese.

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HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

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Oh, wonderful. What does that mean?

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One beer, please.

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LAUGHTER

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This is your first game.

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Tell me the order the balloons pop.

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To give you some practice, have a trial run.

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-Three colours.

-OK.

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OK. Yellow, white, blue.

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Yellow, white, blue, you're saying. Is that correct?

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It is indeed.

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-Well done.

-Good start.

-Yeah, good start, isn't it?

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-So, you ready to take on The Brain?

-I'm ready, yes.

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-Right, off we go.

-Please remember I can only accept your first answer.

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Your game starts now.

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-Yellow, white, red.

-Yellow, white, red, you say.

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And you are correct.

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Yes, well done. On to the next one, please.

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Erm... I'm going to go blue, white, red on that one.

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Blue, white, red. You're correct.

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Well done. On to the last one.

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Yellow, white, red, blue.

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Yellow, white, red, blue. Well done.

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And that didn't catch you out. There were four balloons that time.

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It gets harder as it goes along with these games. So, well done.

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Let's move on to game two.

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Well done, Chris. Full house there.

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-You seem very confident.

-Thank you, Brain.

-Almost cocky.

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-Oh.

-Anyway, here's your second game.

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Tell me which number plate you saw.

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Have a trial run.

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-Which of those six?

-Eh...

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Oh. I think it was number one.

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Number one, you're saying. Let's see if you're correct.

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-No, it was number five.

-That's not a good start.

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And this is a real observation test, this.

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Number plates spotting.

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You ready to play?

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Yes, I'm ready.

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Your game starts now.

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Which one?

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Eh...

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-I'm going to go for number three.

-Number three, you say.

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Are you correct?

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Yes, you are. Good show. Next one, please.

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Oh, that was quick.

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I'm going to go for...

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-number two.

-Number two.

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Were you right? Yes, you were. Well spotted. And one more to go.

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I'm going to go for...

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..number one.

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Number one.

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Yes, well done.

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And it went in the opposite direction that time.

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So, you've done incredibly well. You almost got everything right.

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-I do feel cocky now.

-Yeah, he's got a right to feel cocky, Brain.

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Absolutely.

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Chris, you added 18 seconds in that Zone.

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This means Norfolk Victory now have 27 seconds in their Brain Bank.

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APPLAUSE

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Well, that is a very healthy score, so many congratulations.

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Chris, if you could go and rejoin the team.

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Well, we're halfway through now.

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We've seen how our team has done, but what about you at home?

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Are you keeping pace with them?

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Remember, the more you play, the better you get.

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Right, let's find out which Zone is next and who is going to take it on.

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Brain, the Zone, please.

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Orientation. Captain Colin, who is going to be in the Orientation Zone?

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Ian kind of knows his north from his south and his east from his west,

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so I would say this might fit in nicely with Ian's skill set.

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So, Ian, come on and have a go in the Orientation Zone.

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APPLAUSE

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So very good to see you, Ian. You too are a project manager?

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Yep, certainly am.

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And you reckon you might be pretty good at Orientation?

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Well, let's hope so. Let's hope so for the sake of the boys.

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They've done tremendously so far, so let's not let the team down.

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And what are your passions outside work, then?

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Music. I'm heavily into my music.

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I just started myself a little vinyl collection as well.

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That's a big thing now, isn't it? Going back to dear old vinyl.

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When I was young, every record was vinyl.

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Now it's suddenly back in vogue again, isn't it?

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It certainly is, yeah.

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Well, let's see how you get on, Ian,

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because there's another 18 precious seconds to play for in this Zone.

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That's three seconds for every correct answer.

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Brain, please reveal the first game that Ian is going to be playing.

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-Hello, Ian.

-Hello.

-Here's your first game.

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Tell me whether the hands are left or right.

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Ian, you can warm up with a trial run.

0:14:330:14:36

-Let me get my hands involved here.

-Yeah, please do.

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So, one is a left hand.

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Two is also left hand

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and three is a right hand.

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-So left, left, right.

-Yep.

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Let's see if you're right.

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Yes, you are indeed..

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Please feel free, everybody at home as well,

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feel free to use your hands in this round.

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-Ready to start?

-I'm ready.

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Off we go, Brain.

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You have a maximum of 45 seconds to answer three questions.

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But please remember I can only accept your first answer.

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Your game starts now.

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OK, so one is left.

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Two is left.

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And I think three is left as well.

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Left, left, left, you say.

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Left, left and left.

0:15:250:15:27

Yes, you're right. 30 seconds left.

0:15:270:15:29

OK, so one is right.

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Two is left.

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And three is a left.

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Right, left, left, you're saying.

0:15:380:15:40

Yes, absolutely right, with 15 seconds to go.

0:15:400:15:43

OK, so one is right.

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Two would be a left.

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And three would be right.

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Right, left, right, you're saying.

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Absolutely correct, yeah.

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-Full house there in that game.

-Yeah, I'm pleased with that.

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-Those hands came in useful.

-They did.

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There was certainly some odd shapes there

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that should probably be reserved for a dance floor somewhere.

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-Ready for game two?

-I'm ready, ready as I'll ever be.

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Well done, Ian.

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Here's your second game.

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Which wheel matches the one on the left.

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Here's a trial run.

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So I think that's A.

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A, you're saying. Are you correct?

0:16:280:16:31

Yes, you are absolutely right.

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You've obviously got the hang of that one.

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Let's find out!

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Right, let's play the game.

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You have a maximum of 45 seconds to answer three questions.

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Your game starts now.

0:16:440:16:46

OK, so I think that's B.

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You think it's B.

0:16:560:16:58

No, it was D.

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Second one now.

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30 seconds left.

0:17:000:17:02

That one is B.

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B. Yes, you're right that time.

0:17:100:17:13

One last one.

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OK.

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10 seconds left.

0:17:210:17:23

-I think that one's also B.

-You think that's B as well.

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Let's see if you're right.

0:17:270:17:28

No, it was A.

0:17:280:17:30

So, not quite so good on that game

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but you certainly pulled out all the stops on the first one, didn't you?

0:17:330:17:37

Yeah, I did, yeah.

0:17:370:17:38

What do you think, Brain?

0:17:380:17:40

Well, Ian, you're not as good as Chris, but much better than Colin.

0:17:400:17:44

Don't let this ruin your relationship.

0:17:440:17:48

Ian, you added 12 seconds in that Zone.

0:17:480:17:51

This means Norfolk Victory have now got 39 seconds in their Brain Bank.

0:17:510:17:55

Well, that is pretty impressive, isn't it?

0:17:550:17:57

-APPLAUSE

-Thanks, John.

0:17:570:17:59

Please rejoin your team-mates.

0:17:590:18:00

Neil, you're our final player today,

0:18:000:18:04

so why don't you come up and join me and we'll find out

0:18:040:18:07

which of the three remaining Zones you're going to be playing?

0:18:070:18:11

APPLAUSE

0:18:110:18:13

Good to see you, Neil.

0:18:150:18:16

By my reckoning, we've got Memory, Logic and Multitasking left.

0:18:160:18:21

Which of those would you like?

0:18:210:18:23

Crikey... I been left with the dregs here, guys, haven't I?

0:18:230:18:26

I would probably go with multitasking, I would hope.

0:18:260:18:30

-But I'm fairly confident at all of them, I'd say.

-Oh, good.

0:18:300:18:33

-We like confident people on this show.

-Misplaced, maybe.

0:18:330:18:36

And you are a bit old, if I may say so, to be student.

0:18:360:18:39

John!

0:18:390:18:41

-I'm mature, I'm very mature.

-Mature student.

-I'll give you that.

0:18:410:18:46

How come?

0:18:460:18:47

Well, I used to work in an office with these three gentlemen

0:18:470:18:50

and definitely working in an office persuaded me

0:18:500:18:52

that office work with these guys definitely wasn't for me,

0:18:520:18:55

-so I had to pursue a change of career.

-Is it going well so far?

0:18:550:18:58

I'm absolutely loving it, yeah.

0:18:580:19:00

It's a bit weird being a student and not having any money, being so old.

0:19:000:19:04

I absolutely love it, it's fantastic.

0:19:040:19:06

And you're not particularly bothered now, which Zone

0:19:060:19:09

-The Brain is going to choose for you?

-No, not really.

0:19:090:19:12

I think... I'll just give it my best shot whatever.

0:19:120:19:14

OK. Well, let's find out which it is going to be.

0:19:140:19:17

Brain, the Zone, please.

0:19:170:19:19

-What do you think?

-Yeah, OK.

0:19:250:19:28

-Just an OK?

-Just an OK.

0:19:280:19:30

So, Brain, please reveal the first game that Neil will be playing.

0:19:300:19:34

-Hello, Neil.

-Hello, Brain.

0:19:340:19:36

You said that you were left with the dregs.

0:19:360:19:39

None of my Zones are dregs. Say, "Sorry, Brain."

0:19:390:19:42

I'm very sorry, Brain.

0:19:420:19:44

That's better. Here's your first game.

0:19:440:19:47

Neil, repeat the order in which the colours flash.

0:19:500:19:54

Have yourself a trial run.

0:19:540:19:56

Black, blue, white, green.

0:20:060:20:09

Black, blue, white, green, you say.

0:20:090:20:13

Let's see if you're right.

0:20:130:20:14

Yes, indeed. Well done.

0:20:140:20:15

-You happy about this, Neil?

-Yes, I am.

-Off we go then.

0:20:150:20:19

Your game starts now.

0:20:190:20:20

Yellow, purple, green, blue, black.

0:20:300:20:34

Let's have a look.

0:20:340:20:36

Yes, well done.

0:20:360:20:38

Next one, please.

0:20:380:20:39

Blue, red, purple, green, white, yellow.

0:20:490:20:53

Yes, absolutely correct.

0:20:570:20:58

Six there. Well done. And one to go.

0:20:580:21:00

Green, white, green, black, red, purple, blue?

0:21:110:21:17

Let's have a look.

0:21:170:21:19

You got the black

0:21:220:21:23

in the wrong place, I think.

0:21:230:21:24

You said green instead of black,

0:21:240:21:26

didn't you?

0:21:260:21:27

But nearly right because an awful lot of colours kept on appearing.

0:21:270:21:30

-It's tough, it's tough, yeah.

-Right, on to the next game, please.

0:21:300:21:33

-I got you with that last game, didn't I, Neil?

-Absolutely, yes.

0:21:330:21:36

Completely confounded me.

0:21:360:21:38

Here's your second game.

0:21:380:21:40

Remember where the pictures were once they've disappeared.

0:21:420:21:46

Here's a trial run to help you get a feel for the game.

0:21:460:21:50

Where are the slingshots?

0:21:540:21:57

Number one and number five, Brain.

0:21:570:21:59

One and five for the slingshots.

0:21:590:22:00

Let's see if you're right.

0:22:000:22:02

Yes, you are indeed.

0:22:020:22:04

-So want to play the game?

-Yes, absolutely. Let's go for it, John.

0:22:040:22:07

Your game starts now.

0:22:070:22:08

Where are the masks?

0:22:150:22:17

Number four and number six.

0:22:170:22:19

Four and six, you're saying.

0:22:190:22:20

Is that correct?

0:22:200:22:22

It is indeed. Well done.

0:22:220:22:24

Next game, please.

0:22:240:22:26

Where are the cows?

0:22:320:22:35

Eight, five and three.

0:22:350:22:36

Eight, five and three is correct.

0:22:360:22:39

One more to go.

0:22:390:22:40

Where are the pigs?

0:22:480:22:51

One, seven, ten and four.

0:22:510:22:54

One, seven, ten and four.

0:22:540:22:56

No. Never mind.

0:22:560:22:58

That was two out of three.

0:22:580:23:00

So what do you think, Brain?

0:23:000:23:03

He did very well. I like you, Neil. I like you a lot.

0:23:030:23:07

And that wonderful shirt belies your rampant masculinity.

0:23:070:23:10

Thank you, Brain.

0:23:110:23:13

Neil, you added 12 seconds in that Zone.

0:23:130:23:16

This means, Norfolk Victory,

0:23:160:23:18

you have finished with a grand total of 51 seconds in your Brain Bank.

0:23:180:23:22

APPLAUSE

0:23:220:23:24

-That is a very good score.

-Thanks, John. Thank you.

0:23:240:23:26

Nice to meet you, Neil. If you please rejoin your team.

0:23:260:23:30

Looking pretty confident now, Norfolk Victory.

0:23:300:23:32

Will it be a resounding victory?

0:23:320:23:34

We'll have to find out because we've finished the individual Zones

0:23:340:23:37

and it's now time for our team to try to beat The Brain

0:23:370:23:41

one last time and take home some serious cash in today's final.

0:23:410:23:46

Norfolk Victory, you're named after your county's great hero, Lord Nelson.

0:23:480:23:52

So, remember what he said at Trafalgar,

0:23:520:23:54

"England expects that every man will do his duty."

0:23:540:23:58

Don't let him down.

0:23:580:24:00

You completed your Zones and added 51 seconds to your Brain Bank.

0:24:000:24:04

Now, if each of you answers two questions correctly in that time,

0:24:040:24:07

you'll take home our jackpot of £3,000.

0:24:070:24:11

If you can't, then you still have a chance of going home

0:24:110:24:14

with some money, because The Brain has generously given you

0:24:140:24:16

a further two minutes in which to get the answers right.

0:24:160:24:19

But, as the seconds drain away,

0:24:190:24:22

so does the money, and when the time runs out, so does all the cash.

0:24:220:24:26

Well, Colin, as captain, the team leader,

0:24:270:24:30

-you've decided the order of play.

-Absolutely, yes.

0:24:300:24:33

The great ship Norfolk Victory is still afloat and we are hoping

0:24:330:24:36

to set sail to victory today, so what we need is a strong start.

0:24:360:24:40

Chris did very well in the Observation round, so we're hoping

0:24:400:24:43

for a strong start and then we'll just keep running with the tide.

0:24:430:24:46

All very poetic. Now it's time to get serious.

0:24:470:24:50

Let's start today's final.

0:24:500:24:52

Over to you, Brain.

0:24:520:24:54

You will only face questions from the games you've already seen today.

0:24:540:24:58

But for every question in the final, I will only accept your first answer.

0:24:580:25:02

Norfolk Victory, beat me if you can.

0:25:020:25:06

She's thrown down the challenge and, as always,

0:25:060:25:09

we'll start with the player on the left, so that's you, Chris.

0:25:090:25:12

I need two correct answers from you before I can

0:25:120:25:14

pass on to the next player and so on down the line. Good luck, everybody.

0:25:140:25:18

Let's play the game.

0:25:180:25:19

Revolver.

0:25:270:25:29

Nope.

0:25:290:25:30

Red, white, yellow.

0:25:340:25:36

Yes.

0:25:360:25:37

Left or right hands?

0:25:380:25:40

Left.

0:25:400:25:41

Right. Right.

0:25:430:25:45

Yes. Colin.

0:25:460:25:47

Remember where the objects are.

0:25:470:25:50

Move on.

0:25:520:25:53

Where are the Aston Martins?

0:25:530:25:55

Two, six, nine.

0:25:550:25:57

Yes.

0:25:580:25:59

What number plate?

0:26:030:26:04

One.

0:26:040:26:05

No.

0:26:070:26:08

Find the hidden word.

0:26:080:26:10

Rome.

0:26:100:26:11

Yes. Ian.

0:26:110:26:12

Red, green, blue, black, purple.

0:26:160:26:19

Yes.

0:26:190:26:21

Which wheel matches the one on the left?

0:26:210:26:23

OK, so...

0:26:280:26:31

A.

0:26:310:26:32

Yes. Neil.

0:26:320:26:34

Javelin.

0:26:370:26:39

Yes.

0:26:390:26:40

Move on.

0:26:420:26:44

Where are the hooks?

0:26:440:26:46

Two, six, seven.

0:26:460:26:48

Nope.

0:26:480:26:49

One.

0:26:550:26:57

Stop the clock!

0:26:570:26:58

APPLAUSE

0:26:580:27:02

Well done. Eight correct answers and you have won £1,875.

0:27:020:27:08

A famous victory indeed.

0:27:110:27:13

-Nelson would be proud of you.

-We certainly hope so.

0:27:130:27:15

-How are you feeling now?

-Oh, over the moon.

0:27:150:27:17

I think we've kind of proven that we can beat The Brain,

0:27:170:27:19

-and if we all put our brains together, we can achieve anything.

-LAUGHTER

0:27:190:27:22

-What do you say to that, Brain?

-I'm absolutely distraught.

0:27:220:27:26

You sunk me, boys, you sunk me.

0:27:260:27:28

Well, thank you for watching at home today.

0:27:280:27:30

I hope you enjoyed playing along.

0:27:300:27:32

For now, though, it's goodbye from Norfolk Victory...

0:27:320:27:35

-Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

0:27:350:27:36

-..from The Brain...

-Goodbye.

0:27:360:27:38

..and from me. See you again soon.

0:27:380:27:40

Just before you go, I'll give you the answers to those two questions

0:27:420:27:46

I posed at the start of the show.

0:27:460:27:48

Use the clue to find the word.

0:27:480:27:50

The answer is...

0:27:530:27:55

And the second game...

0:27:560:27:59

What number plate do you see?

0:27:590:28:01

The answer is...

0:28:040:28:05

Join us again next time, when you can pit your wits against me

0:28:080:28:11

and try to...

0:28:110:28:13

Beat The Brain!

0:28:130:28:14

John Craven hosts the quiz in which contestants and viewers face a mental fitness test set by the most exacting of task masters: the Brain. A team of four contestants must navigate a selection of tricky puzzles, fiendish logic problems and prickly posers in an effort to win a cash prize.

Four ex-work colleagues who love good banter see if they can talk their way to winning £3,000 by beating the Brain.