Episode 4 Beat the Brain

Hello, fellow brains. It's Brain.

I'll be testing our team with some tough questions today.

Have a go at a couple I have created exclusively for you at home.

What word is missing?

Here's one more.

What veg is in the pot?

Do you think you got them right?

I'll reveal the answers at the end of the show.

In the meantime,

let's see if our team wins today's jackpot

as they battle to Beat The Brain.

APPLAUSE

Show your appreciation for one of the nation's quickest wits, John Craven.

Well, hello. Thank you. Welcome to Beat The Brain.

This is the toughest test of intelligence on television

but it's not just our contestants who'll be playing today.

Each game has been designed to allow you at home

to play along as well, so let's meet our puzzler in chief, The Brain.

-How are you today?

-I'm well, John.

Ooh, is that cashmere?

I don't know. It might be. I like the colour, anyway.

Mm, kingfisher blue.

Oh, if only the folk of tellyland could feel how soft you are.

I bet you're not going to be soft on our team.

Let's meet them in now.

I'm Peter and I've been a Tube driver for 16 years.

I'm Gordon and I've also been a Tube driver for 16 years.

I'm Chris. I've also been a Tube driver for 16 years.

I'm Stewart. I'm the team captain

and I've been a Tube driver for 26 years.

APPLAUSE

Well, welcome aboard, all of you. And Stewart, you're the captain.

Have you got a name for your team?

Yes, we're Team Barking Mad.

And why is that?

Well, we're all London Underground Tube drivers

and we work out of Barking depot and we're all slightly mad.

OK. Here's how the game works.

The show's Brain is divided into six zones.

The Brain will select four of these six zones for you to play today.

Stuart, as captain, you must nominate which team member you think

will perform best in each of the zones. OK?

You're playing for time for time instead of points,

with every correct answer adding three seconds to your Brain Bank.

The more time you build up, the more chance you have of beating The Brain

in today's final and walking away with the jackpot of £3,000.

So, Barking Mad, are you ready to play?

We are indeed.

Right, time to find out which zone you'll be facing first.

Brain? The zone, please.

Memory. So, Stewart, who are you putting forward for the Memory Zone?

-We'll play Peter on Memory, I think.

-Why do you think Peter?

He's our health and safety rep at work

and he pretty much knows what's going on and he has to do

a lot of paperwork and memorise things so we'll put him up for that.

You are nominated, Peter. Come and join me.

-Good to see you, Peter.

-Good to see you.

-Is it fun driving a Tube?

Yeah. I quite enjoy it. It gives you a chance

to focus your mind on something different other than the normal day-to-day things.

What's that you've got in your top pocket there?

This is a penguin from my daughter. It's a little lucky mascot

I thought I'd bring along to bring me some luck.

Well, let's hope it works, that little penguin.

Well, let's see how you do.

Both games have three questions worth three seconds each.

So, Brain, what's the first game?

-Hello, Peter.

-Hello, Brain.

Don't be nervous. Here's your first game. It's called...

Repeat the order in which the colours flash.

To help you out, have a trial run, Peter.

What do you reckon?

Yellow, white, red and pink.

Yellow, white, red and pink, you are saying. Let's see if you are right.

You are indeed. Good. So, are you happy to play the game, Peter?

-I am happy to play the game, thanks, John.

-Right, off we go then, Brain.

Please remember, I can only accept your first answer.

Every correct answer will add three seconds to your Brain Bank.

Your game starts now.

Pink, green, purple, white, red.

Pink, green, purple, white, red. Let's see if you're right.

Yes, absolutely. Well done. On to the second one.

Red, black, pink, purple, yellow, green.

Let's see if that's right.

Yes, that's it. Well done. Two right so far, one to go.

White, green, blue...

..pink...

..purple.

White, green, blue, pink, purple, you're saying. Is that right?

It's not right. There's two whites.

White, green, blue...

There were very few more

than you had on your list.

-That's a pretty good start, isn't it? Two out of three.

-It's not bad.

Good. So let's go on to game two.

Ah, Peter, I saw your little face crumple at that third question.

I'm bad. I'm so bad.

And here's your second game.

It called What's Cooking.

You will see different ingredients being added to a pot.

You must tell us how many of each went in.

Have a trial run.

How many carrots and how many broccoli? How many peppers?

It's three carrots, one broccoli, two peppers. Answer, B.

B, you're saying. Is that correct?

No, it was C.

Oh, well. Ready to start?

-Yes.

-Right, off we go.

Please remember, Peter, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

So what went into the pot that time, Peter?

Three carrots...

..two peppers.

-Answer C.

-Answer C. Let's see if you're correct.

No, it was D.

Just one carrot that went in.

Let's move on to the second one.

What do you reckon on that one?

It's five broccoli...

-..one pepper.

-One pepper.

It's a choice between C and D. Two onions or one.

What you reckon?

-One onion.

-One onion.

-C.

Right. Is that correct?

Yes, it is. Well done. Yeah.

So, one to go.

So that was the third pot. What are you thinking about?

There's three carrots...

-Yes.

-..two onions.

-Yes.

-And by default, I believe it will be answer B.

-Answer B.

Let's see if you're right.

It was A.

-Oh, well. It's a lot harder than it looks, that one.

-Indeed it is.

I'm sure a lot of people watching at home got it wrong as well.

But you got one out of three, didn't you? It's not bad going.

-What do you think, Brain?

-Well done, Peter.

You went first and that's a very brave thing to do.

Peter, you added nine seconds in that zone. This means, in total,

Barking Mad have nine seconds and their Brain Bank.

So, time now

to find out which zone we are going to next

and who is going to take it on.

Brain, the zone, please.

Multi-tasking.

So, who do you reckon, Stewart, will be good at multi-tasking?

-Gordon is going up for multi-tasking.

-Gordon.

Looks like it's me.

Come up and join me then.

-Good to see you, Gordon.

-Good to meet you.

-Why do you think Stewart's picked you for this?

I tend to be rushing around trying to do as much as possible

-with as little time so I suppose I'm the right man for the job.

-OK.

Brain, please reveal the first game that Gordon will be playing today.

-Hello, Gordon.

-How are you, Brain?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-You have a lovely smile.

-Thank you.

-I hear you play poker.

With that smiley face, can you do a poker face?

I don't look like Lady Gaga but I'll give it a go. Go on, then.

That's terrible. Let's get on with the first game, shall we?

Gordon, when the number of sheep matches the number I say,

add that number to the total.

To give you some practice, have a trial run.

Three, two,

four, three,

two, four,

one,

four,

four, two.

What was the total of the matching numbers, do you reckon?

-I would say on that, it's 12.

-12, you are going for?

Is Gordon right?

-And you are. Yes, well done. A tricky one.

-It was. A tricky one.

-Are you happy to go ahead with the game?

-I'm not good with sheep, but we'll go for it.

-Right, OK.

Please, let's play for real.

-Remember, I can only accept your first answer.

-OK, Brain.

Your game starts now.

Two, three,

four, three,

one, three,

two, one,

one, three.

Add up those matching numbers.

That would come to 9, John.

Nine, you think? Is Gordon right?

You are indeed. Next one, please.

Three, three,

two, one,

two, one,

three, two,

three, four.

What's the total there?

-That's 10.

-10, hopefully. 10, is that correct?

It is. Yes. You're good at this.

Next one, please.

Three, four,

one, two,

four, four,

two, two,

three, three.

What's the total there?

-And that, John, hopefully, is going to be 15.

-15, you think?

Is he right, Brain?

Yes, well done. Three out of three there.

-It shows you what I do at night to sleep, doesn't it?

-Count sheep?

-Yes.

In that kind of order?

-Right, let's move on to game two.

-Very good, Gordon.

Instead of driving a Tube train, let's put you on the buses.

The second game is...

Tell me, Gordon, how many people are left on the bus,

not including the driver?

To get you in the mood, have a trial run.

So, how many people are still on the bus? Not the driver.

I'm hoping...

one.

One, you're thinking? Is that the correct answer?

-It is, indeed. Yes. Let's play the game.

-OK, John.

Your game starts now. DING DING

-How many still on the bus?

-I'm hoping it's three.

Three, you are going for. Is he right? Let's see.

Yes, you are.

Next bus, please.

DING DING

Ooh. That's more tricky. That's a tricky one.

-Yes, they moved a bit quicker.

-I'm going to say two.

Two left on the bus.

Nobody was on that bus at the end.

I'm sure I checked all their tickets.

Let's go on to the third bus.

DING DING

How many left on that third bus?

-I'm going to say...

-Are you going to guess or...?

It's going to be a guess because I did lose count.

I was using my fingers there.

And I kind of run out of fingers

and then I went back looking for fingers that weren't there.

So, I'm going to say two.

Let's have a look and see.

You were right. You wait hours and three buses come along at once.

And nobody on them.

Well, you didn't do badly at all, did you?

Thank you, John. They weren't too bad. I'm pleased with that.

-So what do you think, Brain?

-You did very well there, Gordon.

You added 15 seconds in that zone, which means

Barking Mad now have 24 seconds in their Brain Bank.

Well, let's find out which zone is next and who is going to take it on.

Brain, let's have a zone please.

-Logic.

-Logic, it is.

So, Stewart, who's the most logical of you?

-I would say that was me.

-You?

-I'm going to go for the Logic Zone.

Well, let's find out. Come and join me.

-How are you?

-Hi, John.

-Are you enjoying yourself, so far?

-Yeah, thoroughly.

What do you think your chances are of scoring maximum points on this one?

Depends what comes up, but we'll give it a go.

Well, let's see how you do, Stewart, in the Logic Zone.

Don't forget, there's another 18 precious seconds on offer in this zone.

That's three seconds for every correct answer.

So, Brain, please reveal the first game that Stewart will be playing.

-Hello, Captain Stewart.

-Hello, Brain.

-Here's your first game.

I will show you a series of four pictures

and your challenge is to find the common link.

You can warm up with a trial run.

So what do you reckon is the logical link?

You've got an angel, Baker Street, Elephant and Castle...

I'm not sure what the bottom one is,

but I would say underground stations.

Well, are they underground stations? Let's have a look and see.

Baker Street, Angel,

Elephant and Castle

-and Temple down at the bottom.

-Oh, Temple.

So, are you happy to play?

-Let's bring it on.

-OK. Let's go for real, Brain.

Remember, you have as many guesses as you like, but I will not move on

to the next question until you give me the correct answer or pass.

You only have 45 seconds to answer three questions.

Every correct answer will add three seconds to your Brain Bank.

Your game starts now.

What's the common link there?

Bread...

Candles, bread, drums, candles,

walking.

Bread, drums...

-You can pass, if you like.

-Yeah, I'll pass on that.

-Pass on that one.

Stick. Bread stick, etc. Right...

-Key, fight, ear...

-15 seconds.

-Ring.

-Ring, you say.

Yeah, that's right.

Here we go.

Toilet, sausage, drums...

-Roll.

-Roll?

Absolutely. On the last second there.

One second to go and you got that one.

-Well done. Two out of three, there.

-Not too bad.

-Didn't you used to work in a betting shop?

-I did indeed, yeah.

So, that should be useful if anything arithmetical comes on.

-Hopefully it would, yeah.

-Right, Brain, can we have game two?

Captain Stewart, here's your second game.

Three darts will be thrown, you must add up the score

and subtract it from the total.

Here's a trial run of what I mean.

Double 7.

19.

4.

-464.

-464.

Well done. Are you a good darts scorer?

Yeah, I used to captain a darts team and play in a darts team.

-Oh, well. This should be a piece of cake for you, then.

-Hopefully.

-Off we go, brain.

-You have 45 seconds

to answer three questions correctly.

Please, remember I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

18.

15.

16.

452.

452, well done. Next, please.

11.

8.

Double 17.

-399.

-399.

Well done, yes. And you've got 25 seconds left.

Double 13, 15,

triple 12.

-322.

-322, you're saying.

Well done. Smashing. Very, very good.

-Stewart certainly knew his darts, didn't he, Brain?

-Absolutely.

He kept that a secret from me, captain of the darts team!

Stewart, you added 15 seconds in that Zone.

This means in total Barking Mad have 39 seconds in their Brain Bank.

Well, Chris, you're our final player.

You can't be nominated - just come up and join me.

-Hello, Chris.

-Hi, John.

-Good to see you.

A great score, so far, with your team. Now, it's all up to you.

The final player, and which Zone would you like?

I reckon there are three left, Orientation, Observation

and Language. Which would you go for?

-Out of them three, I would choose Orientation.

-And why is that?

I think I have a good sense of direction.

-You don't need much of a sense of direction driving tubes, do you?

-No.

They drive themselves.

Well, let's see how you do as we find out which Zone

The Brain has chosen for you.

Brain, the Zone, please.

-Language.

-How do you feel about that? Language?

That would be my third choice. THEY LAUGH

Well, let's see how you do. Let's have the first game, please.

-Hello, Chris.

-Hiya.

Here's your first game.

Chris, I will give you a word, you need to spell it to me backwards.

Have yourself a trial run.

Spell...

..CREAM backwards.

CREAM.

M-A-E-R-C.

M-A-E-R-C. Well done. No problem there, Chris.

-Ready to play the game for real?

-I am.

-Let's go, Brain.

Please, remember once you've said a letter you cannot change your mind.

Your game starts now.

USUAL

L-A-U-S-U

Yeah, that's correct. On to the next one.

LEAGUE

E-U-G-A-E-L

That's correct.

Yep, well done. Final one.

SPIRAL

L-A-R

I

R-P-S

Not quite right there.

A good attempt. You got two out of three.

That's pretty good on a very difficult round. So, well done, Chris.

On we go to game two.

Here's your second game, Chris. And a very appropriate title, I think.

-It's called Mind The Gap.

-Mind the Gap, yeah.

Find the word that fits between the other two.

Each dash represents a letter.

Here's a trial run to help you get a feel of the game.

What's the missing five-letter word in the middle?

-That would be water.

-Water?

Let's see if you're correct.

Spring water and watermelon. Yeah, you are.

-Happy to roll?

-Yes.

-Off we go.

You can have as many guesses as you like, Chris.

But I will not move on to the next question until you give me

the correct answer or pass.

You have only 45 seconds to answer three questions.

Your game starts now.

Safety...

-Pin.

-Pin, you're saying? Is that right?

It is, indeed. Next one, please.

-Cross.

-Double-cross, cross-country, is that right?

Yes, it is. Well done. 30 seconds left.

-Chain.

-Paper chain...

You're right. Paper chain and chain mail.

In record time that. 23 seconds. That's pretty good, indeed.

-Well done, Chris. Brain, what do you think?

-Well done.

You kept hold of your nerve, Chris, and added 15 seconds in that Zone.

This means, Barking Mad, you have finished

with a grand total of 54 seconds in your Brain Bank.

54 seconds, a very good total.

Well done, Chris. Please rejoin your colleagues.

Great play, so far, Tube drivers, and now we've finished

the individual Zones and it's time for our team to try to

Beat The Brain one last time

and take home some serious cash in today's final.

Well, Barking Mad, our London Tube drivers,

you're certainly on the right tracks

because you've added 54 seconds in your four Zones

and now you must try to use that time to Beat The Brain.

If you get eight questions correct within your 54 seconds,

you will win our top prize today of £3,000.

If you don't, you can still take some money home with you

because The Brain has very generously provided

two further minutes for you to get the answer.

But as the seconds slip away,

so does the money at the rate of £25 a second.

And if you run out of time, I'm afraid you've run out of money.

So, Stewart, team captain, you've selected the order

in which you're going to play. What was your thinking?

We've gone in height order from the tallest down to the smallest.

-So, are you ready to play?

-ALL:

-Yeah.

-It's time to get serious.

Let's start today's final. Over to you, Brain.

Barking Mad, you will only face questions from the games

you've already seen today. But for every game in the final,

I will only accept your first answer.

Beat me if you can.

That's the challenge. Can you Beat The Brain?

-ALL:

-Yes.

-No problem, John.

-Oh, right.

Well, as always, we'll start with the player on the left, that's you, Chris.

I need two correct answers from you before we can pass on down the line.

-OK?

-OK.

-Let's play the game.

Double 17,

19, 14.

Pass.

Moving on.

Green, blue, pink,

red, white, yellow.

-No.

-Oh. No white.

What is the word?

Pass.

TITLE

E-L-T-I-T.

Yes. What's the connection?

Chess.

Yes. Stewart.

What's in the pot?

D.

No.

Ring.

Yes!

Alphabet letters.

Yes. Gordon.

How many on the bus?

Three.

Correct.

Pink, no.

Purple, white...

No. Moving on.

WALRUS

S-U-R

L-A-W.

-Peter.

-Four, four,

two, one,

four.

Ten.

Yes.

Seven, double 12, 11.

HE MUTTERS UNDER HIS BREATH

439.

Incorrect.

TREMBLE

E-L-B...

..M-E-R-T.

Stop the clock!

APPLAUSE

Come on! Well done.

Eight correct answers there.

You have won £675.

So, congratulations. Well done.

Well done, guys.

So, how do you feel after that, Stewart?

Stressed, but glad we got something to show for it.

And, Brain, what did you think of their efforts? Our Tube drivers?

Oh, I'm a pretty awesome brain to beat, aren't I, boys?

You are, Brain. You are.

But let me tell you, you can take me side to side,

up and down and round in circles any old day.

You're wonderful.

-We love you, too.

-Thanks, Brain.

Well, thank you at home for watching, as well. I hope you enjoyed playing the games.

-Now, it's goodbye from Barking Mad.

-ALL:

-Goodbye.

-Goodbye from The Brain.

-Goodbye.

And from me, as well. See you next time.

I gave you two special games of your own to play at the start of the show.

But how did you do?

Here they are again.

What word is missing?

The answer is...

HARD

And here's the second game. What veg is in the pot?

The answer is...

D

Don't forget, you can make your mind more mighty

by playing along next time on Beat The Brain.