Episode 3 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads, arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is: can they be beaten?

Hello and welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

where five quiz challengers pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads. And tackling our awesome quiz titans today

are the OldEnders. I'm sure this team of former EastEnders stars

will back me up when I say Eggheads is a lot like a good soap opera.

There's tension, the odd laugh and CJ's shirts wouldn't look out of place in Pat Butcher's wardrobe.

But like every good EastEnders ending, what will our ending be - doof doof doof or dumb dumb dumb?

-Let's meet them.

-My name's Derek Martin and for 10 years I played Charlie Slater.

My name's Carol Harrison. I played Louise Raymond, Tiffany's mum.

Hello. I'm Jane How and I played Jan, Dirty Den's bit of posh

a very, very long time ago.

Hi. I'm Shobu Kapoor and I played Gita Kapoor in the '90s

for about five and a half years.

Hello. I'm Dave Spinks and I played lovable layabout Keith Miller for five years.

Welcome. Isn't it the great ambition of an EastEnders actor to get the doof doofs at the end?

-Yes.

-We go, "How many doof doofs did you have this week, darling?"

I didn't know what they were talking about. "You've got so many doof doofs!"

-Trouble is, you don't get a bonus.

-Got to get your agent onto that.

-Exactly, yeah.

We hope it's not a cliffhanger. We hope you win the money.

Every day there's £1,000 up for grabs for our challengers' charity.

However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads, the money rolls over.

The Eggheads have won the last two games,

so £3,000 says you can't beat the Eggheads. We're going to kick off

with our first head to head. And this one is on Sport.

Who fancies that?

-That's between you two!

-Not us!

-I'll have a go.

-Captain Derek straight in there. You get to choose then.

-Any of the Eggheads.

-Em...CJ.

Let's have, to kick us off, Derek and CJ into the Question Room to make sure you can't confer.

Off you go, please.

Well, Derek taking on CJ at sport. Derek, forever more you'll be known as Charlie Slater.

-Is it something you're proud of? I bet people say, "Hello, Charlie!"

-All the time.

-Now they say, "Why ain't you back in it?"

-You started as a stuntman?

-Yeah, I did stunt work.

I was in a series called The Borderers. We were dressed as soldiers on horseback, chasing,

then you stopped, got dressed as a villain and got chased by yourself. That was doing stunts.

-It was great fun.

-OK, it's Sport and you get to choose.

-Do you want the first set of questions or the second?

-First set.

OK, Derek.

Your question is this, then. What term is used in rugby for feigning a pass without releasing the ball?

Forget numbskull. That's what they used to call me at school.

-I'll go for dummy.

-It's the right answer, of course it is.

CJ, in July, 2011,

which sportsman was reported to be romantically involved with tennis player Caroline Wozniacki?

If this is as close to tennis as we get, I'll take it. Rory McIlroy.

It IS Rory McIlroy, yes.

All square and back to Derek.

In 2011, the footballer Cesc Fabregas left Arsenal to join which Spanish team?

It definitely wasn't Atletico Madrid. Valencia, he wouldn't go there. It's Barcelona.

It is Barcelona. There it is. Two out of two for you.

The Swedish athlete Patrik Sjoberg

is a former world record holder and world champion in which event?

I think it's high jump, but let me just check.

-Yeah, I think it's high jump.

-The high jump.

You'd be for it if you're wrong, but you did know that.

It's the correct answer. This is good quizzing.

Derek, if you get this and CJ fails, you're in the final round.

Which trainer was responsible for the career of the famous grey racehorse Desert Orchid?

It wasn't Jenny Pitman.

David Elsworth...

-Martin... David Elsworth.

-Is the right answer!

-Well done, Derek!

-That's good.

Three out of three.

CJ has to get this. In 2009, which Indian cricketer broke the world record

for the highest number of catches by an outfielder in Test cricket?

OK, well, I've heard of Dravid and I've heard of Sehwag.

Usually the ones I've heard of are batsmen.

-I'll try Gautam Gambhir.

-Gautam Gambhir?

Well, it's about catches and you've just dropped the ball here. It is Dravid. Rahul Dravid.

And that means, Derek,

-triumph for the captain! Storming performance there.

-Thank you.

100% record. You're in the final round. Both please come back and join your teams.

Derek has knocked CJ out of that final round. The OldEnders are all still there.

We hope you're all still there after Film and Television.

Ooooh!

-You're all qualified, but who will it be?

-Me.

-OK. Carol, choose an Egghead.

Em, maybe...Judith.

We'll have an all-female clash. It's Carol and Judith. Into the Question Room, please.

-OK, we're going to concentrate on Film and Television and on you, Carol.

-Oh, dear!

-You get to choose, first or second?

-I might as well go first and get it over with!

OK, good luck.

The first question. Who co-starred with Harry Enfield in the sketch show series Harry and Paul?

It definitely wasn't Paul Daniels.

The person who starred with Harry Enfield was the inimitable

Paul Whitehouse. He's just brilliant.

-He is and it's the right answer.

-Well done!

Judith, your first question.

In the title of a 1965 film, Clarence was a cross-eyed what?

I don't think he was a dolphin or a parrot. He was a lion.

Clarence the cross-eyed lion is the right answer, Judith.

OK, Carol, second question.

Good start. In the very first episode of the US sitcom Friends,

Rachel moves in with Monica after leaving who at the altar?

Em...yes.

Her first husband.

-I think it's Barry.

-Barry?

-I'm going for Barry.

-Right answer!

-Well remembered.

-I'm clapping myself now!

We don't care. Two out of two.

Judith, in which 2007 film did Saoirse Ronan, Romola Garai and Vanessa Redgrave

all play the same character?

Oh, I remember that.

I think that was Atonement.

It was. Atonement is correct. It's still all square. Well...

Carol, the impressionist Janet Brown who died in 2011, played Margaret Thatcher in which James Bond film?

Ohh. I'm not very good on Bond.

For Your Eyes Only... I can remember the theme tune!

Em...

I'm going to go for... For Your Eyes Only.

-The theme tune - was that Sheena Easton?

-Yeah, it was.

It's the right answer!

Oh, good. Thank you, Sheena.

Three out of three. OK, Judith.

The 1926 film Flesh and the Devil was an early success for which Hollywood actress?

I don't think it's Greta Garbo because I think she emerged much later.

I think it might have been Jean Harlow.

-Wrong answer. It's Greta Garbo.

-Greta Garbo?

-It is.

I don't know if you knew it, Carol.

-I did. I love Greta Garbo.

-Then you doubly win.

You're in the final round. Fantastic news for the OldEnders!

-Thank you.

-Both come back, please, and join your teams.

The OldEnders whittle the Eggheads down to three now. Two brains missing from the final round.

All the OldEnders are there. They'll attack the Eggheads again on this subject - it's History.

Who wants to play this?

-Shobu?

-I'm not particularly good. I'll have a go.

-Have a go.

-I'll have a go!

-Have a go!

-I'll have a go like a clueless theatrical!

-Oh, bless.

-Who would you like - Chris, Daphne or Kevin?

Daphne. Just for the two women thing.

-We had that last time.

-We'll have a bit of fun.

Shobu and Daphne in the Question Room, please. ..Shobu, great to have you here.

Let's go back to EastEnders. That Sanjay was a bit of a twerp!

You know, come on!

I had somebody in a supermarket telling me, "You ought to leave him!" I thought, "What?!"

Then I realised they were talking about Sanjay and Gita.

-Everybody told me to leave him.

-So will you go first or second?

-Just first.

Best of luck, Shobu.

First question. Who built the road known as Ermine Street that went north from London?

OK, I'm going to have to take a guess here. Vikings were a very long time ago.

The Normans also were a very long time ago.

And, funnily enough, the Romans were a very long time ago as well,

but we know about Romans and roads so I'm going to take a punt

-on it being the Romans.

-Yes, it's the right answer.

-Yes!

-Ermine Street.

If I die, it doesn't matter. I got one right on Eggheads!

Keeping that 100% record going. They haven't got one wrong.

Daphne, which French general won the Battle of the Pyramids in 1798?

Napoleon.

-Yes, it is. The dates are all wrong for the others?

-Yes.

Shobu, second question.

What name is given to the discussions of the New Model Army and civilians in 1647

concerning a new constitution for England?

Hmm.

Ooh, I have absolutely no idea again.

New constitution may be more debated. This is such a guess. I'll go for Putney Debates.

-You've worked it out. It's right.

-Oh! Two answers right on Eggheads!

-Oh, my God!

-Fantastic! Really good reasoning, Shobu.

That 100% record

still intact. Daphne, in the last weeks of World War One,

TE Lawrence was involved in the capture of which city?

Oh.

Em...

Gosh, I don't know. Em, I'll probably get it wrong.

-Baghdad.

-TE Lawrence was involved in the capture of...

Damascus!

Oh! I told you!

Well, Shobu,

that's a turn-up for the books. If you get this right, you are in the final round.

The lines, "Much suspected by me, nothing proved can be," were scratched on a window

at Woodstock Manor when which historical figure was held prisoner there?

Now I think I happen to know which one this is and this is for my daughter

who is a Tudor historian and I think she told me.

Oh, God, I so want to get this right! I think it's Elizabeth I.

Well, you can go back home and say, "Thank you very much."

-It's the right answer!

-I can't believe it! I'm overreacting!

I never imagined this would happen.

You're in the final round.

Let's confirm that. Come back and join your teams.

What a performance, Shobu! I'll tell you why.

In the history of Eggheads,

-only the fourth person to beat Daphne at History.

-There you go.

She doesn't lose very often. Let's read the scores.

It's three Eggheads gone from the final round and the OldEnders all still together.

-You see, they stick together, those EastEnders.

-They do. It's family.

-It's family.

OK, well, let's see if we can hold you together for the final round.

The last subject is Music.

And Jane or Dave to play this.

-OK, I'll go.

-Jane's going to go.

All right, Jane, choose the Egghead before you go. Take Kevin or Chris with you.

-I think Kevin.

-Kevin.

-Go on.

-Kevin.

-You're brave.

-It's going to be Jane taking on Kevin. Let's see what happens.

Would you both please go to the question room?

Jane, what about your time in EastEnders? You were the posh totty.

Yes, I was and it was a very, very long time ago.

I'd never seen an episode. I'd never heard of Dirty Den. I didn't know what they were talking about.

-And there he was.

-Did everyone come up to you and say, "Leave that man alone"?

-Yes, they did.

-"Him and Ange."

-They did.

OK, do you want to go first or second, Jane?

I'll go first. So much pressure.

"I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes" are the opening lines to which UK hit song?

It's not Baby One More Time.

I think it's...

Love Is All Around.

It's the right answer, yes - Love Is All Around.

Good start again by the OldEnders. Kevin, your question then.

In 1958, who had a UK hit single with the double-A side You Need Hands and Tulips From Amsterdam?

And associated with both of them for ever afterwards - Max Bygraves.

Yeah, Max Bygraves is correct. So back to you, Jane.

The stage musical Crazy For You,

first performed on Broadway in 1992, is based on songs with music by which composer?

I think it's George Gershwin.

The OldEnders haven't got a question wrong yet. You still haven't.

-It is the right answer.

-Yes!

-Wow!

George Gershwin.

The pressure on Kevin. Who wrote and produced the 1980 Kenny Rogers hit single, Lady?

That's a bit of a problem because I don't even know it.

I haven't got a clue. It could be any of the three.

So...Lionel Richie.

It's the right answer.

-Well done(!)

-It's all-square.

Jane, the 2007 album entitled The Best Damn Thing

was the third by which Canadian artist to reach No.1 in the UK?

I don't think it's kd lang. I've got quite a lot of her albums.

But I've sort of heard Shania Twain...

I think Shania Twain.

-It's not.

-Oh!

-It's not kd lang. It's Avril Lavigne.

-Avril Lavigne.

-I'm so sorry, team.

It's the 12th question your team have faced and the first one wrong.

Kevin has a chance at last for the Eggheads.

The Venetian craftsman Matteo Goffriller,

born in 1659, is particularly famous for making which type of musical instrument?

No, I don't know it,

so I'm inclined to go for harpsichor

because he would have been around at the heyday of the harpsichord

and one or two leading composers for that were Venetians.

-Harpsichord. No confidence at all.

-OK.

You're right not to be confident. It's incorrect.

-It is cello.

-Cello, was it? OK.

I knew it was cello!

Oh, ho, ho...

He was nearly out there. Jane, we go to Sudden Death now, just to sort out a winner and remove the choices.

It's a lot harder. Here's your question.

Viva Hate, released in 1988, is the title of the debut solo album by which singer?

I haven't a clue.

-No, pass.

-Pass, OK. Kevin, do you know just out of interest?

-I think it's Morrissey.

-It is Morrissey.

Kevin doesn't get through on that.

He has to answer this correctly to get through.

In 2000, What Makes A Man was the first single that didn't get to No.1 in the UK charts for which band?

Again it doesn't ring any bells at all.

I'll try Westlife.

Westlife...

It is the right answer, Kevin.

Westlife. Do you know what kept it away from the Christmas No.1?

-Bob The Builder.

-Bob The Builder.

Anyway, the horror is

that one of those Eggheads is through

to the final round. It's Kevin. Bad luck, Jane.

That was close, but unfortunately, you won't be in the final round.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

This is what we've been playing towards, the Eggheads aren't looking forward to it, it's the final round,

which is General Knowledge.

Those of you who lost your head-to-heads can't take part

in this round, so just Jane from the OldEnders

and Judith, CJ and Daphne from the Eggheads, leave the studio, please.

This is exciting. Derek, Carol, Shobu and Dave, you're playing to win the OldEnders £3,000.

Kevin and Chris, you're playing for something money can't buy, no amount of it - your very reputation.

I'll ask each team three questions in turn, all General Knowledge.

You are allowed to confer which is why those head-to-heads were so important.

There's plenty of you there. So, Derek, Carol, Shobu and Dave,

are your four brains better than the Eggheads' two? We'll find out.

So, OldEnders, would you like to go first or second?

We've been going first all the way through. No reason to change it. May the luck be with us. Let's do it.

I second that. May the luck be with you. First question.

What name can be used to refer to ornamental mouldings around a doorway?

What name can be used to refer

to ornamental mouldings around a doorway?

We've all agreed on architrave.

It is the right answer. One to you.

OK, Eggheads,

or what's left of the Eggheads, Kevin and Chris,

the British designer Jonathan Ive became famous for work in which field?

-The iPod is his, is it?

-Yeah, I think so.

-That's consumer electronics.

-It's the right answer.

Consumer electronics. Both teams cruising through the first question.

I'll put a second one to you, OldEnders. The radio comedy series It Sticks Out Half A Mile

was a spin-off from which TV sitcom?

I, I...

I think it's the one I did. I did it. I'm sure I did.

-You did it?

-Yeah.

-What is it?

-It's from Dad's Army.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, let's do it. Dad's Army.

You think you were in it, It Sticks Out Half A Mile?

-You've done so much, you can't remember!

-Have I got it wrong?

-It's the right answer.

-Oh, good!

-But it was just your uncertainty.

I just couldn't remember the name of it.

It was a spin-off of Dad's Army. It was based in Walmington-on-Sea.

I worked with the wonderful John Le Mesurier.

-What stuck out half a mile?

-It was the pier!

What do you think, Dermot? What do you mean?

The pier. That's fantastic. That is the way the questions fall.

You've got two out of two.

Eggheads, in Italian cookery, what type of food is cotechino?

-It's singular and pasta is always plural, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-The likeliest is sausage.

-Yeah.

-But I don't know.

We did have a tradition that it was always cheese,

-but this is sausage.

-Yeah, it is a form of sausage.

Cotechino. It's all-square still, as I would expect,

after those head-to-heads. It's been so tight the whole game

and the final round proving no exception. Your question, OldEnders.

Which ballet move consists of a vertical jump

during which the dancer repeatedly crosses the feet and beats them together?

-"Jete" is to rise up.

-John Partridge, who's on EastEnders,

-he's a ballet dancer.

-Right.

I'm sure he says... I've heard him go on about an entrechat.

I think a grand jete might be a high jump.

-So you think entrechat?

-I think so.

I think possibly entrechat. That's my feeling.

OK, it looks like we're guessing, so entrechat.

It's amazing what you're pulling in here.

-It's the right answer.

-CHEERING

-This is so surreal.

-This is just an amazing game from start to finish.

The Eggheads lose if they don't get a right answer.

The 18th century Anglo-Irish philosopher George Berkeley

also spent many years in which occupation?

Anglican or Catholic?

-Oh, Anglican.

-Church of Ireland, obviously, yeah.

He was Bishop of Cloyne, I think. Anyway, he was a bishop.

He was a Church of Ireland bishop.

Bishop is the correct answer, Eggheads,

as you expect from those two,

not giving up the fight easily and taking it right back to you.

Now we go to Sudden Death because you're such good quizzers. It gets really hard.

No choices, just to underline that for you. OldEnders, here you go.

Which Academy Award-winning film director died at his home on the island of Faro in the Baltic Sea

in July 2007?

Faro in the Baltic? I thought Faro was in Portugal.

-No, it's Sweden.

-There is a Faro in Portugal as well, but this is...

-But Faro's an island in the Baltic.

-Yeah.

Surrounded by what, Sweden, Denmark...?

-All that lot.

-All that lot, yeah. It could be a Swedish guy.

Yeah, but it could be a director who chose to live there.

-Oh, gosh!

-An island in the Baltic? Who would choose to live there?

-The only thing I can think of is Ingmar Bergman.

-That's who I'm thinking of.

-Go for Bergman.

-Yeah.

-Cos they'll get the next one wrong anyway!

-Wishful thinking!

Bergman. Ingmar Bergman.

Ingmar Bergman. Jane is willing you on because she knows it is Ingmar Bergman. It's the right answer.

Yes, I knew I was right.

So, Eggheads, you need to get this one right.

With whom was Fred Noonan travelling when he disappeared in the Pacific in July 1937?

-Amelia Earhart.

-Amelia Earhart, Dermot.

Is the right answer. On we go.

Another question, OldEnders.

Praesepe or The Beehive is a cluster of stars in which constellation?

-What are the constellations then?

-The constellations?

-The Plough and The Bear and all those.

-But it's a cluster of stars in one of those.

-They're up there!

-LAUGHTER

-I wish I could see 'em now.

-There's lots of constellations.

-OK, let's go for one of them.

-There's Orion, Draco.

-Oh, Orion.

-There's Cassiopeia.

Cancer, the Crab, all of those ones, Sagittarius, Gemini.

-Could it be the buckle of Orion?

-I don't know.

-I don't know. I'm making it up.

-Let's go for it.

-I think we'll just have to pick one of them.

-Go on, pick Orion. Orion.

We're sort of guessing, really.

-Let's go for Orion.

-Orion...

-It's not Orion, but you did say it.

-Oh, don't!

-In passing, you did say it.

-It's Cancer.

-Yeah, one of the constellations.

-One of the constellations, yeah.

The Beehive, cluster of stars.

It's not over until the Eggheads get theirs right.

What is the name of the medieval minstrel

who is said to have discovered the place of Richard I's imprisonment in Austria

by singing a song that only he and Richard knew?

-Blondel?

-Yeah. Blondel.

Blondel is, as they know, the right answer which means, Eggheads, you have won.

-We gave you a run.

-A run?

-Yeah.

-That was an amazing performance.

-Thank you.

-You cannot have expected to have done this well.

-No.

-No, no, no.

-We wanted to.

-Yeah.

And the great thing about this quiz is so many stories have come out, so many connections.

-Yeah.

-We've had so much fun. I wish it could go on a lot longer.

-Yeah, let's start again.

-They don't in actual fact.

They're the ones who had the pounding from the OldEnders who just missed it by the narrowest squeak,

-but thank you so much for playing the Eggheads today.

-A pleasure.

-Thank you.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them and they reign supreme over quizland.

You won't be going home with the £3,000 and the money rolls over to our next show.

Eggheads, congratulations. Who will beat you?

Join us next time to see if a team of reality TV stars have the brains to defeat the Eggheads.

£4,000 says they don't. Until then, goodbye.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd 2011

Email [email protected]