Episode 4 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are among the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together, they make up the Eggheads,

arguably, the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to a celebrity edition of Eggheads,

where a team of five quiz challengers pit their wits

against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads. Tackling our awesome quiz geniuses today are...

Everyone is associated with reality television,

the phenomenon of chucking famous faces into situations that are totally alien to them.

We've seen it all, from trying to sing, to eating bugs,

to sitting around in their underpants all day long.

Come to think of it, sounds like a normal day round yours, Barry. Let's meet them.

I'm Lembit Opik, ex-MP, optimist

and former contestant on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.

Hi, I'm Hannah Waterman, pessimist, and I'm an actress.

Odds on, I'm John McCririck and I'm...

..failed bookmaker, failed punter, failed journalist.

There's only telly left and they twice kicked me off Big Brother.

Hello. I'm Yvette Fielding and I'm a television presenter.

Hi, I'm Andy Abraham, former X Factor contestant who should have won in 2005!

Welcome to you. Thank you for coming to play the Eggheads. Are you entirely mad?

These are the Eggheads. Why do you want to play them, Lembit?

We want to beat them, to prove what real intelligence is.

-Which is why we've got this amazing line-up...

-Lem. Lem.

Lem, please, stop talking. Calm down.

I know you're talking the team up, but no.

I'm starting to crumble.

There's no hiding in that Question Room, which we're going to put one of you in very soon.

Every day, there's £1,000 up for grabs for our challengers' charity.

If they fail to defeat the Eggheads the money rolls over.

Reality Allstars, the Eggheads have won the last three games.

£4,000 says you can't beat the Eggheads.

OK, let's play our first round. You know how it works.

We tell you what the round is, you pick a player, then an Egghead.

The subject for this head-to-head is Sport.

ALL: Oooh!

-Wonder who that could be!

-I couldn't know who won the Derby this year so rules me out. Andy.

-OK, I'll have a go at Sport.

-Really?

-Good luck, Andy.

-You've done your research, I hope, on the Eggheads.

Choose one you think is vulnerable.

Daphne. Sorry, I'm a bit of a fan.

Just of Daphne?

Just choose Daphne, definitely. Daphne.

-I can sing Me And Mrs Jones to her as well.

-We'll hold you to that.

It's the Question Room for you both, just to make sure you can't confer.

Andy, all the challengers get to choose...

It's only tactical. The questions are as hard as each other. Do you want to go first or second?

I'll let Daphne go first.

In a tennis match, how many points have been played in a standard game

when the score reaches deuce for the first time?

Six.

That's correct, yes. Well done. Six.

First question for you, Andy.

Which French phrase refers to a secure area of a Grand Prix circuit

where racing cars are maintained under strict supervision

when they are not being driven?

I would go the second one.

-LAUGHS

-OK, um...

-The middle.

The middle, laissez faire.

If I knew we were doing foreign language, I would have studied that.

How were you with tennis? Presumably, you'd work out deuce.

I would have got that one, see?

Well, you haven't got this one.

It's Parc Ferme. "Ferme", the "closed" bit.

Daphne, when did Sachin Tendulkar first play Test match cricket for India?

Gosh. He's been playing a long time.

Um... I don't actually know

but I would guess at...

'89?

-'89?

-Yes.

-For Sachin Tendulkar?

His debut in the Indian Test team was in 1989. It's the right answer.

You've got to get this, Andy.

-In 2008...

-OK.

-..US businessman Stan Kroenke joined the board of which Premier League football club?

Yeah, the greatest football team that's ever lived, will ever live,

and will go on to dominate the world of every single game...is Arsenal.

-Arsenal?

-Yes.

-Is the right answer.

You are still in it but clinging on. Daphne can eject you

if she gets a right answer here.

In which country was the rugby union player Lesley Vainikolo born?

-Oh, crumbs!

-In which country

was rugby union player Lesley Vainikolo born?

I think...

I will guess at...

-# Unforgettable... #

-Tonga.

A guess, as Daphne admits, but it is the right answer!

LAUGHS

I don't think Andy believes you.

I think he thinks you knew.

-Steward's enquiry!

-It's the right answer. No enquiry on that.

Whether it was a guess or not you can have an enquiry about that, as you make your way back.

Would you both please join your teams?

As it stands, the Reality Allstars have had one member voted out.

Well, "quizzed out" by Daphne. We've only played one round.

Let's play the next one. This is Science.

Who can knock an Egghead out on this?

Give it to Yvette. We need someone in the final as well.

-Yvette says she's good at Science.

-I'm not GOOD at Science.

We have to get a point on the board. Score early. Lembit, definitely.

Who wants Yvette to do it?

-Lembit. Lembit.

-You're just bullying us.

-He's bullying us.

-Stay with us, Lembit. You choose an Egghead.

HANNAH: I don't know about Science.

They're all really super-brainy.

I would say CJ could be the weakest link!

After much deliberation, it's going to be Lembit versus CJ.

Both of you into the Question Room, please.

Lembit, looking at you doing Science, the Eggheads are telling me

-your grandfather was an astronomer.

-That's right.

My grandfather predicted the Earth would be destroyed by an asteroid.

If I don't get this round right, I probably will be - in the form of John McCririck.

-Do you want to go first or second?

-I'll go second.

Putting the Egghead in.

CJ, a dynamo is a machine that converts mechanical energy into what type of energy?

-"Dynamo" is the only word that's an anagram of "Monday".

-It is! Yeah.

-I think it converts it into electrical energy.

-It does.

Anyone who's got one on a bike knows that.

Your question, Lembit.

Hydrophily is a form of pollination by what means?

-Hydrophily.

-By a process of elimination, "hydro" means water.

So I'll go for water.

It's that simple. It's the right answer. Well done, Lembit.

CJ, the uvea - U-V-E-A - is a layer in which part of the body?

This I don't know.

The eye has lots of different layers.

Layers in the mouth? Layers in the nose?

The eye has lots of layers so let's try the eye.

Good thought. It's the right answer. Well picked out, CJ.

The fossa is a carnivorous mammal native to which island?

-The fossa.

-I'd guess Madagascar.

It sounds like the kind of thing that might have turned up

on an island like that and survived, so I'm going to guess Madagascar.

-It's the right answer.

-Go on, Lem!

Team captain!

They're in the film, Madagascar?

-Little fossas?

-They try and bring as many creatures as they can into it.

It's all-square. Back to CJ.

The poisonous alkaloid taxine is derived from leaves of which tree?

There's something nagging me that yew has, um...

..something poisonous in it.

It would help if I knew what the Latin names for beech and yew were.

I can't remember what oak is as well. Er...taxis.

I think if I heard oak, I'd know what it was.

I don't think that's it.

I thought there was something poisonous about yew so I'll try yew.

Can you help him, Eggheads, with the Latin?

Oak is Quercus, beech is Fagus, and yew is Taxus, so it is yew.

It's the right answer, CJ. Well done. Taxus.

Means you've got to get this, Lembit. From Madagascar to maths.

The French mathematician Pierre Bezier is best known for his work concerning the drawing of what?

I...imagine...

that squares wouldn't have occupied the interest of a... I'm guessing.

I'm guessing that a mathematician wouldn't devote his life to squares.

Which leaves pyramids and curves.

This is a guess. I think, for a mathematician,

the most interesting shape's a curve, so I'm going to guess curves.

That's good logic. It's the right answer.

For both of you, just to remind you, Lembit,

we move to Sudden Death.

After three questions, if it's all-square, we sort out a winner and remove the options.

Here comes CJ's first. Which four letters form the name

originally given to strains of the bacterium Staphylococcus aureus

that could not be killed by the antibiotic methicillin, but is now applied to strains

that resist treatment by a range of antibiotics?

MRSA.

Phew! It is the right answer. We won't get what it stands for.

MRSA is the answer.

OK, Lembit.

Which animals belong to the zoological families the Delphinidae and the Platanistidae?

Well...

the best I can do is think that

this is something to do with flippers and shells.

This is a guess. I apologise to my team if I get this wrong.

The best I can do is guess that it's to do with tortoises or turtles.

-It's close, but it's not the right answer.

-What was the right answer?

-Eggheads? CJ?

-Dolphins?

-It's dolphins!

-Oh, no!

-Dolphins.

-No!

This is the thing, if you decide to go second, you get it wrong

and it's game over.

If you're playing first,

you've got a second chance in that the Egghead has to eject you.

Lembit, you will not be in the final round. Would you both please come and join your teams?

As it stands, not too good for the Reality Allstars. They've lost two brains from the final round.

But we've got two more head-to-heads so it could be all-square in the final round.

Our next subject is Politics.

ALL GROAN

Oh, dear! I'll go for that.

-I won't take on Kevin. He's the brightest of that lot!

-Oh!

-Help me with the others.

-I'll choose. Barry.

-Right.

It's going to be John playing Barry. The subject is Politics.

Into the Question Room, please.

John, what are the odds on you beating Barry?

Odds on! I'm very confident. >

I enjoy politics. I love politics.

I was in the House of Commons in 1979 when the Labour Government fell.

Michael Foot's fantastic speech from the Government front bench.

I'm very, very confident, but Barry,

-super-brain, might be able to beat me.

-Do you bet on politics? A lot of money won and lost on it.

I don't like to say "invest", Dermot, but I like to say "invest" rather than "bet".

Invest on politics. Doesn't always work. Remember! Bookmakers don't like betting on anything that talks.

-And do politicians talk? Ask Lembit.

-All right, John.

They're investing in you to see if you'll be the first Reality Allstar to get through.

-Do you want to go first or second?

-First, please.

Good luck, John. Since 1870,

the holder of which office has also been Master of the Mint?

Since 1870,

the holder of which office has also been Master of the Mint?

Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Yes. It's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Although, of course,

-you've got to be careful because the First Lord of the treasury is...

-The Prime Minister.

Barry, which country's then-Finance Minister was selected as the new head of the IMF in June 2011?

This was after the contretemps with Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

The lady selected was Christine Lagarde, who was French.

-It was France.

-Christine Lagarde from France is the right answer.

It's one each.

Second question to you, John.

The headquarters of which organisation in Vauxhall, London, are nicknamed Babylon-on-Thames?

Must be MI6, the spies.

Why do you think it's Babylon-on-Thames?

What happened in Babylon is all mixed up with shenanigans,

-back-stabbing, that kind of thing.

-Or is it the shape of the building?

Hanging gardens.

They've got flowers hanging down from it. MI6 is the right answer.

John got that easily.

Two-one to John.

Barry, who was US President at the time of the Iran-Contra scandal?

Ah, wasn't this a scandal that featured Colonel Oliver North?

It was, I believe, Ronald Reagan.

Ronald Reagan is the right answer. John knows it, too.

Another question each.

Arriving at 10 Downing Street after her election as Prime Minister in 1979,

Margaret Thatcher quoted from a prayer attributed to which saint?

Francis of Assisi.

It's the right answer.

You mentioned watching the previous government fall in 1979.

Obviously kept a close eye on Margaret Thatcher's arrival.

Barry, you need to get this.

In the 19th century, Antonio Guzman Blanco was President of which country?

All those three countries have had many Presidents in the 19th century.

Argentina, at one point

in the 20th century, had three or four Presidents in one day!

I think Guzman rings a bell with me for Peru, so that's my answer.

Peru. OK, Antonio Guzman Blanco was President of...

Venezuela.

Hooray! Oh, yes! Oh, yay!

-I'd never have got that one. That was a killer.

-Wasn't the easiest.

I can't believe it! Oh, Eggheads!

Never seen him so made-up.

-Is that better than getting a Derby winner?

-Oh, fantastic! On Eggheads! Beating Barry!

-It doesn't come better than this.

-What a compliment!

I'm glad we made you so happy. You're in the final round. Would you both come back and join your teams?

That's a lot better. The fightback has started.

The Eggheads have now lost one brain but the Allstars have lost two.

Will it be all-square in the final round? Our last head-to-head, Film & Television.

One of the women, Hannah or Yvette.

What do you think? Make a decision.

We're all fans of Eggheads, but you're such a huge fan,

it would be lovely to take on one of the Eggheads.

-Come on, Hannah.

-But I... OK.

-Choose one.

It's Kevin or Chris. Kevin's too clever, too bright.

-Your call.

-I'm going to go Chris.

-Yeah!

And it's Hannah and Chris playing this one.

Film & Television. Into the Question Room, please.

Hannah, good to see you here.

You can sing a bit, can't you? You won Just The Two Of Us?

I did, but Marti won, really. He just took me along for the ride.

Made a lot of female Eggheads and people behind the scenes jealous.

Paired up with Marti Pellow!

-Do you want to go first or second?

-I'd like to go first, please.

Good luck, Hannah.

What's the name of the town in which Fred Flintstone and his family live

in the cartoon series The Flintstones?

I would say that it's Bedrock.

Bedrock is the right answer. Are you having a yabba-dabba-do time, Chris?

No. I am far too old and stayed to have a yabba-dabba-do time.

First question for you.

Vincent Vega is a central character in which Quentin Tarantino film?

Reservoir Dogs are all Mr Colour of some sort. He's not in Kill Bill.

So he's with Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.

Pulp Fiction is the right answer. Vincent Vega.

Sure you'd have got that, Hannah.

Second question, though, for you is this.

Although various directors worked on the 1939 film Gone With The Wind,

which one was given the Oscar for his work on it?

Do you know? I said... LAUGHS

..please may I not have any questions about old films

because I'll definitely come unstuck.

And, er... I'm coming unstuck.

I was going to say George Cukor. >

I'm going to say Victor Fleming.

-It's the right answer!

-YES!

CHEERING

Good girl!

A bit of pressure on Chris, then.

Ray Cameron, one of the main writers for Kenny Everett's TV shows, was the father of which comedian?

If he was writing for Kenny Everett, we're looking at '70s, '80s.

I think Sean Lock's a wee bit too old.

Michael McIntyre doesn't really fit.

Although Cameron and McIntyre are both Scottish names.

Simon Amstell's about the right age, so I'll say Simon Amstell.

Simon Amstell, probably, I'm not sure of their respective ages.

Probably the youngest there, but...

Oh!

There was the Cameron-McIntyre link. It's Michael McIntyre.

-Don't drop your hand here, Hannah.

-No pressure(!)

Get this and you're guaranteed a place in the final round.

Even if you get it wrong, you might get through if Chris gets his third one wrong.

The assured route is a correct answer here.

In 2011, who was named as the first President of the Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Arts?

I think it's going to be one of the more elderly statesmen

of the Australian actors' list in front of me.

Hugo Weaving, I've just watched in Oranges And Sunshine...

which was directed by Ken Loach's son.

Geoffrey Rush is such a hero for the Australians after The King's Speech

and with all his work... I'm going to go with Geoffrey Rush.

The Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Arts

named its first President as...

-Geoffrey Rush.

-CHEERING

-Brilliant!

-Well done!

-Brilliant!

Oh, fantastic.

JOHN: It is terrific.

We don't even put another question to Chris. No point. Can't win.

Hannah, you're in the final round. Come back and join your teams.

What a fightback!

This is what we've been playing towards, the final round which, as always, is General Knowledge.

I'm afraid those who lost your head-to-heads

won't be allowed to take part, so Lembit and Andy from the Reality Allstars,

and Barry and Chris from the Eggheads, would you leave the studio now please?

Hannah, John and Yvette, you're playing to win the Reality Allstars £4,000.

Kevin, CJ and Daphne, you're playing for something just as important.

It is the Eggheads' reputation.

I ask each team three questions in turn, all General Knowledge, so anything can come your way.

You are allowed to confer.

So, Hannah, John and Yvette, the question is, are your three brains better than the Eggheads' three?

-Do you want to go first or second?

-We'd like to go first, please.

You've decided to go first. Let's play the game.

This is your question. In traditional Japanese dress,

what is the name of the sash used to tie a kimono?

An obi sounds very familiar to me.

My husband will kill me cos he's got the full Samurai gear.

-I think it's obi.

-It sounds so familiar. Yeah?

-Obi?

-Yeah.

-Our answer is obi.

Not Wan Kenobi? It is the right answer. Well done.

Eggheads, first question to you.

Because of its first two words,

the Lord's Prayer is also known by which Latin phrase?

CJ: Pater Noster.

-It's Our Father, Pater Noster.

-Is the right answer.

Eggheads have one as well, as expected.

Reality Allstars, second question.

The 1962 UK Number One for B Bumble and the Stingers

was an adaptation of a piece by which composer?

Do you...? Ooh! I think Beethoven out of all of them, for me,

-is more sort of... I don't know.

-Do you know what the song is?

-No idea.

-No.

B Bumble and the Stingers is the name of the band.

I have no idea what the song could be. Er...

Puccini? Tchaikovsky? Beethoven?

Madam Butterfly, did anyone do a kind of...? I don't know.

I have no idea. It's a shot in the dark, isn't it?

HANNAH: Puccini... I just...

Puccini's opera. I think Puccini might be... It's lyrical.

-As opposed to the others, which are orchestral.

-Yes.

-I don't know.

-I agree. Shall we go with Puccini?

-Yeah.

I might be wrong. I do apologise. No!

-No. We're going with Puccini.

-OK.

Puccini, B Bumble and the Stingers. Are they right, Eggheads?

-Tchaikovsky.

-We didn't discuss Tchaikovsky, so that's fine.

-Which of his works?

-It's called Nut Rocker.

-Yeah.

-From The Nutcracker.

-Oh!

-B Bumble and the Stingers.

There's plenty of mileage left. Let's see what transpires.

"Dot LC" is an international domain name suffix for which country?

I don't know.

-Do you have any thoughts?

-No.

Out of all of them, I'd go for Saint Lucia.

-It's not going to be SL.

-No.

-So LC would be logical.

I THINK Latvia might just be LA.

I can't see a reason why it would be LC, but maybe that's a trick.

If Saint Lucia's not SL,

which we know it isn't,

maybe it is LC.

We can't make a case for Latvia, which means it'll probably be that.

It could be Liechtenstein, but we're going to try Saint Lucia,

on the basis that the Saint bit may have been dropped and they used LC.

-Saint Lucia?

-Yeah.

On the "dot LC" it is...

-correct.

-JOHN: You were right.

You're still in it.

Need to get this, though.

What was donated to the British government by Sir Cecil Chubb in 1918?

Stonehenge has always been there, but has it been owned by anybody?

Hadrian's Wall's always been there.

-Peveril Castle.

-The obvious one.

It is, but has Stonehenge ever been legally owned by anybody

to then give it to the government?

Surely a private company didn't own Stonehenge?

Peveril Castle's the obvious answer.

I've done a bum steer already, so I'm quite happy...

-I'd go with Peveril.

-Peveril Castle is our final answer.

Sir Cecil Chubb.

The answer is...Stonehenge!

No! Really?

-Which means, Eggheads, you've won.

-Well done.

-That's really hard.

-Turns out he bought it at auction for six and a half grand.

Couldn't be Peveril Castle. >

That's the obvious one the producers want you to go for and only stupid people go for it!

LAUGHTER

Listen, far from stupid Reality Allstars, as you all proved.

Even those that lost out unluckily in their head-to-heads, Lembit and Andy sitting there helplessly.

Thank you for playing the Eggheads. One, for playing the quiz so well.

Knocking two of those supreme quizzers out.

And being so much fun. That's the main thing. Thank you very much.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally and they reign supreme over Quizland.

I'm afraid you won't be going home with the £4,000.

The money rolls over to the next show. Eggheads, congratulations.

Who will beat you?

Join us to see if a team of footballing greats have the brains to defeat the Eggheads.

£5,000 says they don't. Don't miss it. Until then, goodbye.

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