Episode 1 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

the show where a team of five quiz challengers pit their wits

against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads.

And, challenging our legendary quiz Goliaths today are The Pantastics.

Now, some British institutions need no introduction whatsoever.

You'll all know what I'm talking about

when I say men dressing up as women and women dressing up as boys.

Of course, it's the Eggheads' Christmas party.

No, of course not, it's the noble art of pantomime.

And, to tell us all about it and to hopefully do a bit of quizzing as well,

are some of this country's finest panto exponents.

Let's meet them before someone says, "Oh, no, they're not."

Hello. I'm Joe and I'm playing Muddles in Sleeping Beauty

at Cardiff New Theatre.

Hi. I'm Linda and I'm playing Carabosse in Sleeping Beauty

at Darlington Civic Theatre.

Hello there. I'm Sam and I'm playing Oddjob in Sleeping Beauty

at the Darlington Civic Theatre.

Hello. I'm Vicki and I'm playing the Sorceress

in Beauty And The Beast at The Hexagon, Reading.

Hi. I'm John. I'm playing Abanazar

in Aladdin at The Plaza, Stockport, Greater Manchester.

So welcome to you, Pantastics.

Well, Joe, team captain, how do you think playing Eggheads

is going to compare to the rigours of being in pantomime?

To be honest, I'm shocked that you just made me team captain.

-Yeah, he didn't know!

-It's because you're sitting there.

-I didn't know.

You are, you're promoted.

My bottle's gone completely now. I've got to make decisions.

But this is something completely...

You know, what we're doing here, I have no idea.

He picked the team, nothing to do with me, who he wants to be with.

Not the brains. There's one O level between us.

Well, I've got two. One in metalwork and one in biology, so I can weld a cat a cat. And that's it.

Welding a cat, I think we should have a round on that.

OK then. Well, let's play the quiz,

and let's see if you can take the money from the Eggheads.

Because every day, there's £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs for our challengers' chosen charity.

If they fail to defeat the Eggheads,

the prize money will roll over to the next show.

So, Pantastics, as this is the first of our celebrity specials,

£1,000 says you can't beat the Eggheads.

And we will commence with our very first round.

The first head-to-head battle is where you try to knock an Egghead out.

It's going to be on the subject of Sport.

Choose someone who wants to play Sport.

I think it's got to be you.

-You know about sport, don't you?

-I know what shape a ball is.

That's close enough. It's more than I do.

No, well, I don't know anything about sport.

Go on, you do it. It's got to be Sam.

I have a limited knowledge of sport.

I'm getting sweaty palms just thinking about it.

Get even sweatier as you choose a member of the Eggheads to try to knock out.

Any one of those fantastic five.

Well, I think I'd like to get sweaty with Judith.

Oi, oi!

I don't want to get sweaty with you.

Well, I know Judith knows a lot about sport

because she used to play in goal for Scunthorpe, so we'll have to pick Judith.

And he's got the missus sitting beside him.

OK. Well, it's going to be Sam and Judith playing this first round.

It's Sport and, to make sure you can't confer, both of you head to the Question Room, please.

Right, we are ready to play.

Sam, you're playing the Henchman

in Sleeping Beauty, aren't you, this year?

Yes, I am. I'm basically Linda's whipping boy,

so there's really no change there.

What, you mean the same role you play at home?

Exactly. And you know what? I quite like it.

I can tell by the smile on your face.

But you're directing it as well?

Yeah, I've been directing panto for the last ten years and it's...

Well, I say I direct. Linda tells me what I'm allowed to say to people

and it kind of goes like that.

OK, let's play the game. Sam, you are the challenger, you get to choose.

-Do you want to go first or second?

-I'll go first, please.

OK, first on Sport and, Sam, here's the question.

At the 1948 London Olympics,

the main location for the athletics events was which venue? Is it...

Well, only on the fact that it's probably the biggest

and it's an Olympic event,

I would go for Wembley Stadium.

OK. An Olympic event and yes, big,

and, obviously, around there in 1948, the one before the last one.

It's the right answer. Well done. Wembley Stadium. Well worked out.

Judith, your first question. It's football, you'll be glad to know.

-Not fair.

-Which Chelsea footballer scored with a header

in the 2012 Champions League final? Is it...

It's no good asking me things like that.

Didier Drogba.

Didier Drogba, you're saying. Scoring with a header.

Is she right, other Eggheads?

-Yes.

-Yes, you are. Correct answer, Didier Drogba. Well done, Judith.

And on we go. Sam, second question.

Which Formula One team had their first victory since 2004,

when they won the 2012 Spanish Grand Prix? Is it...

Spanish Grand Prix.

I don't know a great deal about Formula One.

There's a lot about it in the news.

So I'm, kind of, going to go towards Williams.

I think the British drivers drive for Williams, don't they?

Williams. So an eight-year gap, more or less.

It's the right answer, Sam. Well done.

Brilliant stuff. You have two.

Judith, since the foundation of the National Hockey League in 1917,

which North American ice hockey team

has won the Stanley Cup on the most occasions? Is it...

Well, Canadians must be very good at ice hockey.

I think I'm going to say Canadiens.

Canadiens, because they have more ice there?

-Yeah, exactly.

-That kind of reckoning.

They grow up on it.

Right. It's the right answer. Well done, Judith.

Good reasoning. Two each.

Good quizzing, both of you. Sam, third question.

In 2011, which female golfer became the youngest player of either sex

to win five major championships? Is it...

Again, golf, it's not one of my strongest subjects.

But the most famous name that I can see there is Michelle Wie.

That's a name I've heard a lot.

I watch a lot of Sky Sports, don't take a great deal in,

but I'm going to go with Michelle Wie.

OK. Although I've got the answer here,

I think I would have gone with that. It's not right. It's incorrect, Sam.

-Judith, I'll offer it to you.

-Is it Yani Tseng?

It is, it is Yani Tseng. Yeah.

Well, maybe not over yet, Sam,

because Judith has to get this right if she is to knock you out.

Judith, which leading rugby league team

has traditionally played home games

in cherry and white hooped jerseys? Is it...

Well, I don't watch a lot of that either. What about Leeds Rhinos?

Wigan Warriors, Judith,

is what we wanted, Wigan Warriors. So all square.

Two each. Takes us instantly to Sudden Death then, Sam.

And that means we remove those choices. So here you go.

How many players are on court for an indoor volleyball team?

Oh, I'm going to hazard a guess. I would say seven.

Ah! It's just out.

-Just missed the line.

-Eight?

-No, it's six.

-Oh, is it?

-Six.

Unlucky.

Six players on an indoor volleyball team on court at any one time.

So a chance for Judith.

The leading tennis player Mardy Fish

was born in which country?

I think he's American.

I read the other day he's a great friend of Andy Roddick's.

We will accept... The United States is the right answer, Judith.

-Oh, golly. Hooray!

-Bad luck, Sam. There you were leading 2-1,

Judith drew it back to 2-2 and has taken it in Sudden Death,

which means you won't be in the final round.

Please come back and join your teams.

Well, very bad luck there for Sam

means that the Pantastics have lost one brain from the final round.

The Eggheads all still standing. But only one round gone.

Let's play our next subject today. This one is Film and Television.

-Well, well, well.

-Ooh.

It could be a fight to play this one. Who wants to take it on?

I'm no good at anything else.

-Do you want to take it?

-I'm no good at that either.

-You do it.

All right. I'm going to take this one.

OK, Linda. And choose an Egghead.

It can't be Judith, so it's one of the boys.

They're all so clever but I think I'm going to go with the new boy, Dave.

Take Dave into the Question Room with you then, Linda.

Be gentle with him.

Off you go then, both of you.

Linda, as you know, you get to choose.

Do you want to start or let Dave begin?

I think I'll go first.

Best of luck to you, Linda. Here's your first question, then.

Which television programme

regularly ended with the presenter telling viewers,

"Don't have nightmares. Do sleep well"? Is it...

I don't think it's Breakfast Time,

cos you wouldn't be telling people to sleep well.

I don't think it's Watchdog. Yeah, I'll go with Crimewatch.

Crimewatch is the right answer. Well done, Linda.

All right. Dave, first question to you.

The 2012 film Mirror Mirror,

starring Julia Roberts, is a version of which fairy tale? Is it...

Don't think it's Beauty And The Beast. I'll rule that out.

Yeah, I think Mirror Mirror is Snow White.

I bet all our challengers know this one, probably.

-We do.

-Yes, we do.

-Oh, yes we do.

Probably been in it a few times. It is the right answer.

Well done, Dave. One all. Linda, second question.

Which actor's 1980s film roles included

an air conditioning specialist in Brazil,

a bounty hunter in Midnight Run

and a slave trader in The Mission? Is it...

Sam's probably shouting the answer out down there

cos he'll know.

-He is.

-Oh!

-No pressure.

-Oh, Midnight Run.

Oh, I'm going to go with De Niro. It's probably wrong, but...

This is like Mr and Mrs. You know each other so well.

It's the right answer.

-Oh! Thank you, Sam. Telepathic you see.

-You're welcome.

-Exactly.

-You can pay me back in kind.

-Right.

Second question coming your way, Dave.

Losing contestants in which TV series

are often sent to the Bridge Cafe?

The Voice UK, I don't think so. They tend to just go.

But losing contestants, it's normally the treat

given to people on The Apprentice.

They have a nice time out and then the others go in a cafe

and disseminate what went wrong. It's The Apprentice.

Yeah, The Apprentice. Where they mull over their bacon sarnies

-before they're called back in to see Lord Sugar.

-Yep.

There we are, all square. Both going really well.

Great answer from Linda last time round,

managing to get Robert De Niro.

Get this and the pressure's all on Dave.

Which musician wrote and directed the 2012 film,

Ill Manners? Is it...

Well, this'll be a complete guess

but I know Plan B does a lot of movies

and is involved in movie title music and stuff,

so I don't know whether the others have, but I'll go with Plan B.

-Plan B. And you've got the right answer.

-Hey!

-Well done.

Well, you've already got bragging rights I think at home there.

You've got three out of three.

Will it put Dave out, though? Here you go.

Who directed the 1966 BBC television version of Alice In Wonderland,

which starred Peter Cook as the Mad Hatter

and Peter Sellers as the King Of Hearts? Is it...

I think Linda's going through here. I do not know.

But I'm going to just have to have an educated guess.

Could be any of them.

Let's go down the middle. Peter Hall.

-Other Eggheads, is he right?

-Jonathan Miller.

-It's Jonathan Miller.

-Brilliant.

Your prediction was right, Dave. Look at Linda there,

triumphant in the Question Room.

A deserved victory there, it must be said.

I'm sure Dave will give you that.

Fantastic. You're in the final round, Linda.

Would you both come back and join your teams?

Well, that's levelled it all up.

Both teams have lost one brain from the final round.

And we move on to Round Three and this one is Food & Drink.

-Three challengers left. Vicki wants to play it.

-I want to do that.

-Is there going to be competition?

-Now I don't know.

I know nothing about food. You have a bash.

-OK, I'll have a bash.

-OK.

-Go on, Vicki.

Just to remind you, you've got Kevin, Pat or Barry.

-Barry...cos he's cute.

-Ah, thank you.

Barry cos he's cute? Does that mean you're going to throw the round then, Barry?

I'll seriously think about it now!

OK, Vicki and Barry, into the Question Room both of you, please.

OK, we're ready to go. So, Vicki, the enchantress.

-Tailor-made for you.

-Thank you, Dermot.

I'm looking forward to it. I haven't done Beauty And The Beast for a while.

But you've done a lot of panto. Do you enjoy it?

I love it. I absolutely love it. And I play mostly baddies now.

The wicked queen in Snow White, or Carabosse that Linda's doing.

And it's just that the kids really hate you

and it's just fantastic working them to really hate you more.

The thing is, when I first did it,

I used to get upset. But now, when I come down, they boo you.

You never get a cheer, it's "Boo!" and I absolutely love it.

The Eggheads know all about that every day when they leave the studio.

-People outside throwing rotten tomatoes at them.

-Too many boos.

All right. Let's see if you can get rid of Barry here.

Follow in the footsteps of Linda.

And, Vicki, would you like to go first or second?

I think I'll go first, Dermot.

And off we go. Vicki, first question.

What name is often given to a type of cutlery

that has a shallow scoop as well as prongs or tines? Is it...

Right, well, I've never heard of these, I don't think.

But knork sounds funny.

Splife? Well, it sounds like spork.

Spork.

I think I'll go for a spoon and a fork, a spork.

A spoon and a fork is a spork.

-It's the right answer. Well worked out.

-Thank you.

Barry, first question for you. Which of these is a key ingredient

in the Spanish dish, paella? Is it...

Well, I've always been partial to a nice paella,

and I don't recall bread or potatoes in it,

but it's a rice-based dish, so the answer is rice.

It would be interesting with any of the other two.

Right answer. Well done, Barry, on rice.

And straight back to Vicki. In the Second World War,

most UK cheese production was diverted to a single type of cheese

known by what nickname? Is it...

State Wensleydale. I have no idea.

Official Stilton and Government Cheddar.

-I think I'll go for Government Cheddar.

-Government Cheddar.

That's where our continuing love of it comes from.

-It's the right answer, yes. Government Cheddar.

-Fabulous.

Well done there, Vicki. You have two.

Second question for you, Barry. A dip of what is typically served

with the Spanish speciality churros? Is it...

I'm certainly not sure on this one

but I think that is served with chocolate.

You have got chocolate, which is correct.

Well done. Good choice.

Vicki, the Gala apple, a cross between a Golden Delicious

and a Kidd's Orange Red was developed in which country?

I'm going between USA and Australia here. Gala.

-I'll go for USA.

-USA and Australia.

Between those two, it was always going to be wrong because it is...

-New Zealand? No!

-New Zealand, I'm afraid. Sorry, Vicki.

Well, a chance for Barry to take it for the Eggheads.

Which name is given to a traditional British dessert

made from shortcrust pastry, jam, custard,

and topped with desiccated coconut? Is it...

Well, one of my favourite programmes on television

is The Great British Bake Off.

And, fortunately, in the last episode that I remember seeing,

they discussed the history of Manchester tart,

and it was made with those ingredients,

so my answer is Manchester tart.

Oh. dear me. I'm not even going to prolong the agony. Bad luck, Vicki.

-He's been watching it and it's there.

-Barry.

-Yes, Barry!

-And I thought you were cute, Barry.

-How can you?

-All your illusions shattered there about Barry.

-I know.

Manchester tart. You're not going to be in the final round, Vicki.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

Well, the Pantastics have now lost two brains from the final round. The Eggheads have lost one.

Could be all square going into the final round after this, our last head-to-head.

And this subject is Arts & Books.

We've got Joe or John there, ready to play it.

Which one is it going to be?

-It's up to you, mate.

-I'll go for it.

-You want to go for it?

-I'll go for it.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Unless you really want to go for it?

-No. I'm happy to have a bash,

but if you want to, you have a go.

-OK, I'll have a bash.

-You go and have a bash.

All right. John, stay with us,

because you have to choose your Egghead.

-And it's got to be Kevin or Pat.

-I'm going to go for Pat.

Let's have you in the Question Room, please. It's John and Pat.

OK, let's play the round. And, John, you get to choose.

It's Arts & Books, as you know. Do you want to go first or second?

Yeah, I'll go first.

Let's test your literature side first off then, John.

Which novel by George Eliot ends with a tragic flood? Is it...

Well, Wuthering Heights, way up there on the moors.

Mansfield Park.

Don't recall there being a flood.

I'm going to go for Mill On The Floss.

A bit of a giveaway, isn't it? The mill bit.

Don't know if Mansfield Park was on a flood plain,

but Wuthering Heights, the moors. Mill On The Floss

by George Eliot is correct.

All right, Pat, first question.

Which artist made a hat shaped like a shoe for the designer,

Elsa Schiaparelli? Is it...

A hat shaped like a shoe sounds slightly surreal,

and that would play right down Salvador Dali's...hands,

so I think it's probably Salvador Dali.

OK, Salvador Dali is the right answer. Well done, Pat.

And back to John.

In Michael Ondaatje's novel,

what is the actual nationality of the man known as the English Patient? Is he...

A tricky one.

I'm going to go...

..for Swiss.

It's not, John. Do you know, Pat?

I think his first name is Laszlo,

which is a classic Hungarian forename.

It is the right answer. Yes, it's Hungarian. But it was for John,

so that means not a tick there. So can Pat take the lead?

In Gavin Turk's work, Pop, the artist represents himself

as which punk musician?

Pop.

I don't know. I can't read too much into the title.

Pop would suggest Captain Sensible,

Punk suggests Sid Vicious, so I'll go with Sid Vicious.

You've got it. It is correct. Sid Vicious there.

OK, well, bad luck for John.

-It means you must get this one, John.

-Right.

The critic Rufus Wilmot Griswold

was involved in a famous feud with which author,

continuing to malign him after his death?

I think...

I'm not aware of Irving's work,

I don't think it would be Henry James,

so I'm going to go for Poe.

OK, Poe from John

is the right answer. Well done.

If not for that slip-up with number two,

would be in a very strong position,

but it does mean that Pat has the upper hand here.

Pat, which French actor and playwright

wrote the 17th-century comedy known in English

as The Bourgeois Gentleman? Is it...

I don't think it's a Moliere play.

Racine's plays, lots of them have classic Greek sort of titles.

So, without a great deal of confidence, I'll go for Corneille.

Corneille, The Bourgeois Gentleman in English.

It's Moliere. It's the wrong answer,

which means it's all square and we go to Sudden Death.

Let off for you there, John.

That English Patient would have put you through. Let's see if this one does.

As you know, having watched Sam there,

you don't get choices in Sudden Death. Here you are.

Donna Leon's series of detective stories

featuring Commissario Brunetti

are chiefly set in which Italian city?

A city came into my mind...

..and I'm just going to go for that.

And it's Milan.

Milan for the Italian city with Commissario Brunetti.

Is it, Pat? Do you think it's that?

I have a feeling it's Sicily, so it might be Palermo.

OK, you're both incorrect, I can tell you.

It's not right, John. It's not Milan,

not Palermo either. Eggheads?

-Venice.

-It's Venice. Commissario Brunetti.

Those novels are set in Venice.

And a chance again for Pat, then.

The 2012 book, Bring Up The Bodies by Hilary Mantel,

is a sequel to which award-winning novel?

I think the novel was Wolf Hall.

-Centring on the life of?

-Is it Cromwell? Thomas Cromwell?

Thomas Cromwell. We didn't need that. All we needed was Wolf Hall, which is correct, Pat.

Which means you are in the final round. Bad luck, John.

-Nearly made it, but not to be.

-OK.

Please come back and join your teams.

This is what we've been playing towards.

It is time for the final round, which is general knowledge.

But I'm afraid those of you who lost your head-to-heads

won't play in this round.

So, Sam, Vicki and John from the Pantastics

and Dave from the Eggheads,

would you all leave the studio now, please?

So, Joe and Linda, you're playing to win the Pantastics £1,000.

Barry, Pat, Judith and Kevin, you're playing for something

which money cannot buy, the Eggheads' reputation.

As usual, I ask each team three questions in turn.

The questions are all general knowledge

and the big difference is you're allowed to confer in this final round.

So, Pantastics, the question is,

are your two brains better than the Eggheads' four brains?

Joe and Linda, important choice perhaps,

do you want to go first or second?

-I think we'll go second, just to be different.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-We'll be different and go second this time.

Your wish is my command(!)

Here we go then, Eggheads kicking off.

First question coming your way.

Which designer created the wedding dress for Catherine,

Duchess of Cambridge? Is it...

-Sarah Burton?

-Sarah Burton.

-Yeah.

-That was Sarah Burton.

Sarah Burton is the right answer, yes. Well done.

Eggheads have one there.

First question then coming to you, Pantastics.

Good luck with it, Joe and Linda.

Which act won the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest? Is it...

Did you watch it?

No, but I'm sure I've heard the winning song.

I can't remember.

-Do you know who sang it?

-Was it a girl or a fella?

-It's either male or female.

-That's right.

Well, I would go for...

-I think it was the girl.

-I would go for Loreen.

-Loreen.

-Loreen? We'll go Loreen.

-We'll go for Loreen.

-Loreen...

-..is the right answer.

-Yeah!

-Yes! Well done, love.

It's shaping up to be a good round.

Second question each. Eggheads.

What name is given to the symbol over the letter N

in the Spanish word "senor"? Is it...

What name is given to the symbol over the letter N

in the Spanish word "senor"?

It's called a tilde.

It is the right answer, yes. Eggheads have two.

Back to the Pantastics then.

The dance craze called the black bottom

is most associated with which decade? Is it...

-I would go for '40s.

-'20s.

-See.

What do you want to do, '40s or '20s then?

I've never heard of it, so...

I think you're right. '20s might be too early.

No, I was going to go for your one, go for the '20s!

I don't know, it might be too early, the '20s, but...

-No, I'm going to go '20s.

-I want to go '40s now!

Oh no, don't change. You're such a woman.

Do you want to go back then?

OK, go '20s. But I think it's the '40s.

It's going to be a little wiggly bum thing, right?

Is the '20s too early though?

Well, not really, I don't think. They was doing a lot of stuff.

You've got the charleston in that time period.

-Go '20s then.

-We're going to going to go 1920s, Dermot.

You should have seen the rest of your team doing it.

-What do you think it is now?

-'20s.

-It is, you've got the '20s. It's the right answer!

-Yes!

-Yes.

You nearly changed. You were crossing over.

-Backwards and forwards.

-We convinced each other.

So, Eggheads. Things I Couldn't Tell My Mother

is the title of the autobiography of which actress? Is it...

I've got a feeling it's Sue Johnston.

I've got no idea.

Relatively recently, they've all had things out.

-But that does...

-That does ring a bell.

-Yeah.

We're not certain about this, but a couple of us have got an inkling

that it might be Sue Johnston. So Sue Johnston.

An inkling for Sue Johnston, Things I Couldn't Tell My Mother,

it's the right answer, Eggheads.

OK. Right, here we go.

The word inspissation

refers to the physical process of becoming what?

It is spelt

I-N-S-P-I-S-S-A-T-I-O-N.

Inspissation.

-The "in" thing's making me think thinner.

-I was going to...

My instinct was go thinner.

-But it could be longer.

-It could be thicker and longer.

Inspissation.

I would go for... Initial instinct was thinner

and we both thought thinner.

OK, we'll go thinner, cos we haven't got a clue.

We're going to go for thinner.

OK, they haven't got a clue.

-It is wrong, it's thicker.

-Oh, well.

Well, listen, never mind.

It is thicker, which means, Eggheads, you've won.

Didn't work, first instinct or second instinct.

-If we'd argued longer, we might have got it.

-Do you think so?

Had a fight? That would have been good.

Pantastics, thank you all very much indeed.

Best of luck with all the pantos this year

and in the years to come. It's been fantastic having you here.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them

and they still reign supreme over Quizland.

I'm afraid you haven't won the £1,000,

which means the money rolls over to our next show.

Eggheads, congratulations.

Who will beat you?

Do join us next time to see if a team of British theatrical greats

have the brains to defeat our Eggheads.

£2,000 says they don't.

Until then, goodbye.

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