Episode 4 Celebrity Mastermind

Four celebrities hope they know everything there is to know about a specialist subject.

But, can they cut it on television's toughest quiz?

They've agreed to put themselves in the hot seat for their chosen charity.

But only one person can be the winner.

Who will be crowned tonight's Celebrity Mastermind?

The first celebrity in the hot seat tonight is cricketer, Matthew Hoggard.

He answers questions on the sitcom, Friends.

Television presenter, Jules Hudson,

takes on the ill-fated World War II operation, Market Garden.

The comedian, Justin Moorhouse,

answers questions on the great Les Dawson.

And the actor, Ray Fearon, on Shakespeare's Othello.

APPLAUSE

Hello, I'm John Humphrys and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind.

As ever, we have four contenders, two rounds of questions,

but there can be only one winner.

It's the specialist subject round first, 90 seconds,

then general knowledge, two minutes.

Who will walk away with this fine trophy and the honour of becoming a Mastermind?

Let's get on with it and ask our first contender to join us, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Friends. You have a minute and a half starting now.

Joey has counted there are 97 steps

from his and Chandler's Manhattan apartment

to just inside the coffee shop where

the Friends regularly meet. What's it called?

-Em, Central Perk.

-When Ross is struggling to choose between Julie and Rachel,

he makes a list of their positives and negatives.

What part of Rachel's body does he list as "chubby"?

-Eh, ankles.

-What is the name of Ross' pet monkey

which he reluctantly allowed to be taken by the San Diego Zoo?

-Em, Marcel.

-Who performed and had a UK hit single

with the series' theme song, "I'll Be There For You"?

Em... I was just asked that by the taxi driver as well.

-Hurry up!

-The Cranberries.

-No. The Rembrandts.

In the opening episode, what's the first name of

the man Rachel was supposed to marry? She ran away on their wedding day.

-Barry.

-What's the name of Joey's chain-smoking agent, played by June Gable?

-Siegfried.

-Estelle. When the navy officer, Ryan, who Phoebe used to go out with returns,

he catches a disease from Phoebe that she caught from Ben. What?

-Chicken pox.

-What section of the Country Club newsletter

does Rachel's mum send to her to give her inspiration?

-Houses.

-The engagement notices.

Which guest star appears as Susie Moss, former classmate of Chandler,

who turns up in New York on the set of Marcel's movie?

-Pass.

-How much money does Phoebe receive from the soda company

for finding a thumb in her soda can?

-2,000.

-7,000. What's the name of the musical that Joey's friends go to see him in

where he has to put on a thick German accent?

-Pass.

-When Joey and Chandler take Ross to an ice-hockey game,

the puck hits him in the face and he ends up in the emergency room.

The game is between the Rangers and which other team?

-The Giants.

-No, it's the Pittsburgh Penguins.

You had two passes. The name of that musical was "Freud!"

And Julia Roberts, no less, was the guest star.

You have, Matthew, five points.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please?

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Operation Market Garden. In a minute and a half.

In 1944, Operation Market Garden, the largest airborne

of the Second World War was launched, with the objective of seizing

strategically important bridges in the Netherlands. What month?

-September.

-According to Cornelius Ryan, Lieutenant General Browning

said he could hold Arnhem Bridge for four days, but added this might be...?

-A bridge too far.

-What code name was given to the main axis of attack

for Lieutenant General Horrocks' Corps?

-Hell's Highway.

-Club Route. Who commanded the American

101st Airborne Division during Market Garden?

-Maxwell Taylor.

-In which city did Eisenhower and Montgomery meet

on 10th September 1944 to discuss the operation?

-Brussels.

-Which Dutch Brigade was part of

the land forces involved in Market Garden?

-Pass.

-Which allied country had a Parachute Brigade

that was part of the British Airborne Corps and took part in the operation?

Poland.

Which German Field Marshal had to leave his lunch

when informed of the airborne landings?

Model.

Which Allied Commander described Market Garden as,

"90 per cent successful"?

Montgomery.

Who was the commander of the British Battalion

which led the assault on the Arnhem road bridge?

Colonel John Frost.

What nickname did the 101st Airborne give

to the stretch of road north of Eindhoven?

Hell's Highway.

Which post did the German Major-General Kussin hold

until killed in his staff car by British paratroopers?

Area Commandant.

What name did the British give

to the American C-47 Skytrain transport plane

used to haul gliders and carry paratroopers?

Dakota.

In which village is the Hartenstein Hotel,

first used as headquarters by Model and later by Urquhart

for the same purpose?

Oosterbeek.

BEEP

You had only that one pass.

The Dutch brigade that was part of the land forces

was the Princess Irene brigade.

-You have a total of 12 points.

-Thank you.

And our next contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

In 90 seconds. Les Dawson was born

in which district of Manchester, a village he later joked was,

"So poor, the wishing well had IOUs in it"?

Collyhurst.

What's the name of the daughter born in '92

to Dawson and his second wife Tracy?

Charlotte.

Dawson's mum was delighted when her son got his first job

because it offered long-term security?

Which Manchester company was it with?

The Co-op.

Ada and Cissie were inspired by the Over The Garden Wall sketch.

On which variety programme of the '70s

did they first appear?

Sez Les.

Dawson had a lighthearted dispute with Prince Phillip

about the way to prepare which Northern delicacy?

Black pudding.

In a joke from his Secret Notebook, whom does he call Treasure

"because she reminds me of something that's been dug up"?

-His mother-in-law?

-His wife.

What name was Dawson actually christened with

because when his father saw him,

he decided to call it a day?

Friday.

A week before he died in June '93,

Dawson recorded an interview for which Radio Four programme?

In The Psychiatrist's Chair.

Which of Dawson's creations who first appeared on Sez Les

wore thick NHS glasses and had a face that fell into a slobbering ogle

at the mere mention of a woman?

Cosmo Smallpiece.

Dawson's wife encouraged him to audition for which talent show?

Though he didn't win, it made him a household name.

Opportunity Knocks.

Dawson appears in which one-off sitcom written by Galton and Simpson

that's set around a trip abroad?

-D Mob?

-Holiday With Strings.

In his Secret Notebook, Dawson jokes that

he's amazed his wife fell down a something on their honeymoon

because he didn't know they worked?

Wishing well.

For a number of years, Dawson played Nurse Ada

opposite John Nettles' Sheriff of Nottingham

in which pantomime?

Babes In The Wood.

-No passes, Justin. You've got 11 points.

-Thank you.

And our final contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

90 seconds starting now. Othello is summoned from Venice

to be the governor of which Mediterranean island

because of the invasion?

Cyprus.

What does Iago describe as the, "green-eyed monster

"which doth mock the meat it feeds on"?

Jealousy.

The name of which tree

is repeated in a song that Desdemona sings?

Her mother's maid died singing the song.

Willow.

Who directed and starred in in the '52 film Othello

that won the Palme D'Or at Cannes?

Orson Welles.

In the opening scene, Iago says,

"I will wear my heart upon my sleeve",

for which birds to peck at?

Daws.

Which Scottish film star played Iago

to Chiwetel Ejiofor's performance of Othello

in the Donmar production in 2007?

Pass.

At which London theatre did Laurence Olivier

play an acclaimed Othello for the National Theatre?

The Old Vic.

Othello fatally stabs himself in the closing scene.

What is his final line?

"I kiss thee, ere I kill thee..."

No, nearly. "Killing myself, to die upon a kiss."

In the scene during which Cassio passes the handkerchief to Bianca,

he asks her to take it and do what with it?

To copy it.

Who played Othello at the Savoy Theatre in London in 1930

and performed the role over 300 times on Broadway

in the '40s?

Paul Robeson.

The wife of Iago first reveals the depth of her husband's treachery

after her mistress has been killed.

What's her name?

Emilia.

One of the first actors to play many of Shakespeare's major roles,

including Othello, was a shareholder in the Globe Theatre

and a leading actor of the Lord Chamberlain's Men.

What was his name?

-Richard Burbage.

-Richard Burbage is correct.

-You had just one pass. It was...

-Ewan McGregor.

You've got it! Ewan McGregor is the answer.

Shame you didn't know it 20 seconds ago.

LAUGHTER

None the less, you've got ten points.

Right, that's the end of the first round. Let's have a look at the scores.

In fourth place with five points, Matthew Hoggard.

Thrid place with ten points, Ray Fearon.

Second place with 11 points, Justin Moorhouse.

In the lead with 12 points, Jules Hudson.

General knowledge round now and if there is a tie at the end of it,

then the number of passes get taken into account

and the person with the fewer passes will be the winner.

So, let's get on with it.

I'll ask Matthew to come and join us again, please.

I was just checking before you joined us - 248 wickets.

-If you say so.

-It's quite a lot, isn't it, really?

-It's a couple.

He said very modestly.

You'll have to tell me as I'm not a cricketing person -

what is the kind of bowling you do?

-I'm a swing bowler.

-Yes, and how does it work?

It works by grabbing a cricket ball, wanging it at the batsman

and it moves in the air a certain way.

Right, well, when I try to do that, it doesn't.

Move in the air, I mean. So, how do you make it move?

It's all to do with the seam position

and the way that you shine one side of the ball.

We don't just rub the side of our groins for the fun of it.

There is actually a purpose to it.

Right. So, if you make one side of the ball very, very shiny

and the other is, what, sticky...?

It's rough. It's dry and it's rough

and the air travels faster over the shiny side

and gets stuck on all the particles on the rough side,

so it causes an imbalance in the pressure and it swings.

Right. So, you've got to have that bit of roughness on one side

-and bit of smooth on the other?

-It does with an older ball,

but with a new ball, it's purely down to the seam

because both sides are equal.

-So, you're a seam bowler?

-No, I'm a swing bowler.

-What's a seam bowler, then?

-A seam bowler's one that doesn't move it in the air,

but moves it off the pitch.

I thought that was a spin bowler.

That's a spin bowler, as well,

but he imparts spin on it and not just keeping the seam upright.

I think I'll give up at this point.

LAUGHTER

I think I should, as well.

You've got five points, so you've got to do a bit of catching up.

Quite a bit of catching up, to be perfectly honest. A lot.

Here we go, two minutes on general knowledge, starting now.

What term for an item of clothing

often worn by joggers

has come to mean a socially disruptive young person?

A hoodie.

The Indira Gandhi International Airport

-serves which country?

-Can you repeat the question?

The Indira Gandhi International Airport

serves which country?

India.

Which booklet governing behaviour on Britain's roads,

was first issued by the Ministry Of Transport in 1931?

A version of it is still used in driving tests today.

The Highway Code.

In the television series Six Feet Under,

what sort of business is run by the dysfunctional Fisher & Sons?

A...

..crematorium.

No, a funeral home.

Which birds are known collectively as a gaggle

when on the ground and a skein when in the air?

Geese.

Which outspoken football manager once said,

"I wouldn't say I was the best manager,

"but I was in the top one."

Erm, dude that thought he was God. Pass.

Who won a Best Actor Oscar for his performance in the title role

of the 2000 film, Gladiator?

Russell Crowe.

In which Scottish city are Argyle Street,

Buchanan Street and Sauchiehall Street?

Aberdeen.

Glasgow. Ben Elton wrote a musical with members of the rock band Queen

about a planet where instruments are banned. What is it called?

We Will Rock You.

What term is used for water that doesn't form a lather

because it contains calcium and magnesium salts?

Hard water.

In the children's books,

what monster has, "Knobbly knees, turned out toes

"and a poisonous wart at the end of its nose"?

The Gruffalo.

Which Christmas delicacy, said to be made as a reminder of Jesus' manger,

originally contained meat?

-Christmas log.

-Mince pie.

Who, when he won the 2011 Open Golf Championship

at the age of 42, became the oldest first-time winner

since Roberto di Vicenzo in 1967?

-Ben Davies.

-Darren Clarke.

Which Norwegian pop group topped the UK charts in 1986

with The Sun Always Shines On TV?

Erm, pass.

In which National Park is Scafell Pike,

England's highest mountain?

The Peak District.

The Lake District. You were close. Your two passes -

-that Norwegian pop group was A-ha.

-Yeah.

And "I wouldn't say I was the best in the business,

"but I was in the top one" was Brian Clough.

Right, Matthew... You've got a lot.

You're still not going to win, but you've done well.

You've got 13 points.

APPLAUSE

And now, Ray Fearon again, please.

And you took Othello as your subject.

Why do we still love, or say we love, Shakespeare?

It's basically, he's a genius. He's the best playwright that ever lived.

What makes him different from any other playwright?

Well, I think he, more than any other playwright, really covers

the whole of the human condition, you know, without taking a side.

So, it doesn't belong to,

sort of, a religion or a colour or a creed or a sex or whatever.

He just sort of looks at it from a completely...

An overview or a completely outside point of view

and I think nowadays, what's happening

is a lot more schools now, youngsters are getting up and doing Shakespeare.

That's where you get the beauty of Shakespeare - when you're doing it.

I think when you're sitting down and doing it academically,

I think a lot of people get bored of it.

But actually, he wrote the plays to be acted,

so you'll get a better feel from it when you get up and do it, really.

Right. Now, you got ten points with your specialist round.

Let's see how you do with general knowledge.

What name's given to the flexible wooden stick

with tightly held fibres to play stringed instruments?

Oh, a... Pass.

Holby City is a spin-off

from which long-running BBC medical drama

that focuses on the lives of staff and patients

in the emergency department?

Casualty.

In April 2005, which Leonardo Da Vinci painting

was given a whole wall to itself

in the Salle des Etats in the Louvre, Paris?

Pass.

In the UK, what name is given

to the foodstuff that Americans call jelly?

Pass.

In Shakespeare's Julius Caesar,

who describes Brutus as,

"The noblest Roman of them all"?

Er, Cassio.

Mark Antony.

In which Californian city are Fisherman's Wharf,

Lombard Street and Chinatown major tourist attractions?

-Soho.

-San Francisco.

The killer whale, despite its name,

is not a whale but the largest member

of which family of marine mammals?

-Fish.

-Dolphin.

In an early David Bowie song,

who is told "Take your protein pills

"and put your helmet on"?

Sorry, can you repeat the question?

In an early David Bowie song,

who is told "Take your protein pills

"and put your helmet on?"

That was, erm...

Pass.

Which village in the far north-east of Scotland

is incorrectly regarded as the northernmost point

of mainland Britain?

It's named after a Dutchman

who settled there in the 15th century.

John O'Groats.

Which fictional detective, created by Colin Dexter,

makes his last appearance in The Remorseful Day,

published in 1999?

Is it Inspector Morse?

Who resigned as England's manager

after a home defeat to Germany in October 2000,

saying he "was not the man for the job"?

That was, erm...

-Graham Taylor.

-Kevin Keegan.

Which Quentin Tarantino film stars John Travolta

and Samuel L Jackson as the hitmen

Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield?

Now, that would be, er...

I've gone completely blank.

-It happens.

-Oh, gosh. It's, erm...

Pass. BEEP

I'll put you out of your misery.

It was Pulp Fiction.

-Pulp Fiction.

-Yeah, and you'll know all of these.

I'll rattle through them. The David Bowie song - Major Tom.

-Major Tom.

-Exactly.

What the Americans call jelly, we call jam.

Mona Lisa was the Leonardo painting that was all over the...

And the flexible wooden stick - it's a bow.

-It's a bow.

-There we are. You've got a total, Ray, now, of 13 points.

Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

And Justin again, now, please.

And you know a bit about Les Dawson.

-Were you friends?

-Oh, no.

-Les Dawson - did you know him?

-No, never met him. No.

-Never met him?

-No.

-But an admirer, obviously.

-Yeah.

I used to love him. I used to think, even as a kid,

there's this funny little fat fella from Manchester

and if he could make it, you know, maybe someone else could.

It's interesting, isn't it, because he could say things that

lots of people would go "Oooh" at, but not if it was him doing it.

I think offensiveness in comedy is a whole different subject, isn't it?

I would imagine if you asked his mother-in-law was she offended,

she'd probably say no.

She was a grotesque. He created her. She wasn't real.

He didn't mean those things, did he?

She wouldn't have lived with him if he meant those things, you know.

And I'm sure that's the answer to it, really.

I thought he was harmless, fun.

I thought he was so different than any other comedian of that generation.

What I liked about him most was he constantly learned

and carried on learning throughout his life.

His stuff - Over The Garden Wall.

I mean, that was just wonderful, wasn't it?

Yeah, I think, I mean, they've gone now,

but I had two aunties,

and they looked like my Auntie Vera and my Auntie Nelly

and they were exactly the same

and they would do that kind of talking like that, you know.

-There's a reason for that. It goes back to the Lancashire mills.

-They say so, yeah.

They would have to lip read across the loom and that sort of thing.

Right, now. Justin, you've got 11 points.

Let's see how you do with general knowledge. Two minutes, now.

Jaffa, now part of the Israeli city of Tel Aviv-Yafo,

gives its name to a variety of which fruit?

Orange.

Which rodent puppet was widely regarded

as the saviour of the TV-am franchise in the '80s?

Roland Rat.

Gold and frankincense were two of the gifts

brought by the Magi from the east. What was the third?

Myrrh.

Which website for sharing video clips

was founded in California in 2005 with the slogan Broadcast Yourself?

YouTube.

Which ukulele-playing entertainer

is known for songs such as Leaning On A Lamp Post

and When I'm Cleaning Windows?

George Formby.

What mode of transport is the subject of Turner's 1841 painting

Rain, Steam and Speed?

Train.

In which George Orwell novel is the hero told

"The thing in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world"?

1984.

What's the name of Jeremy Vine's brother

who holds a world record for telling the most jokes in an hour?

Tim Vine.

Which bridge across the Thames

opened with a great ceremony in 1894?

It is now one of London's best-known landmarks.

Tower Bridge.

Which French word for "morning", is used in the theatre

for an afternoon performance?

-Matinee.

-The towns of Axminster and Wilton

give their names to what soft furnishing?

Carpet.

Which Canadian singer released the album Crazy Love in 2009?

It includes the song Haven't Met You Yet.

Michael Buble.

What does the W stand for

in the name of the former American President George W Bush?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Walter.

Walker.

In the 1988 film Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure,

Alex Winter is Bill, who plays the part of Ted?

Keanu Reeves.

Which footballer played for Manchester United

before World War II

and went on to be England's first full-time manager in 1946?

Walter Winterbottom.

What was the name of the king of the Huns

who died in mysterious circumstances

on his wedding night in 453 AD?

Attila.

The Siberian is the largest subspecies

of which member of the cat family?

Tiger.

Which Egyptian holiday resort

stands at the southern tip of the Sinai peninsula?

Sharm El-sheikh.

What's the principal flavouring and colouring ingredient,

sometimes with coffee as well,

of the dessert Mississippi Mud Pie?

-Rum.

-No, it's chocolate.

Oh, was it?

But I tell you what, no passes. You've got 28 points.

Thank you.

And finally, Jules again, please.

Now, Operation Market Garden.

It must have been the biggest airborne invasion of all time.

I'm going to sound like a real anorak, now, aren't I?

It was ALMOST the biggest.

The biggest was the subsequent crossing of the Rhine.

But up to that point, it was the biggest operation of its kind

and it was hailed as this war-winning moment that could transform 1944

and bring the war to a close, but as we know now, of course,

tragically, it wasn't to be.

And why was that? Because one of the questions

had Montgomery saying it was a 90 per cent success.

-That was a bit optimistic, wasn't it?

-The jury's out.

I don't think it was a 90 per cent success

in terms of the aim of crossing the Rhine, because we didn't get over it.

But what's not in dispute is that they did fight very hard indeed.

Well, they did and the...

I mean, 10,000 British troops dropped on Arnhem.

They were supposed to hold the bridge for two days.

As it was, they were there

in various pockets, shrinking pockets, for nine.

Only 2,500 or so actually got out at the end and were, in effect,

evacuated.

An extraordinary waste of an entire airborne division

and, you know, a great tragedy,

but there was a huge recognition between both sides,

the Germans and us, you know,

that the fighting had somehow been gallant and notable.

There's a moment when a captured British commander,

is approached by a senior German, who says,

"Well done, Tommy, it's been an amazing fight.

"Your house-to-house fighting was fantastic.

"You have lots of experience."

And this colonel turned round and said,

"Actually, no, old boy, that was our first go.

"But next time, we'll be much better".

Yeah, extraordinary story, Jules.

-You have 12 points. 28 is the score to beat...

-Tough.

..if you are to walk away with the trophy and the title.

Two minutes general knowledge starting now.

Which mythical beast is pictured as horse-like

with a single horn in its forehead?

Unicorn.

In 1974, after 8,862 performances,

what Agatha Christie play moved from the Ambassadors Theatre

to St Martin's Theatre, where it is still showing?

-The Wedding Cake.

-The Mouse Trap.

What word for a person who is easily manipulated and expendable,

is taken from the name of a chess piece?

Pawn.

Which Chicago gangster acquired his nickname Scarface

after being slashed with a knife during a brawl?

Al Capone.

In which film do astronauts crash-land in the future

and discover a caste system of talking gorillas,

orang-utans and chimpanzees?

Planet Of The Apes.

The Open Championship, one of golf's Majors,

is played over how many rounds?

-Ten.

-Four.

Which British monarch complained that Gladstone

spoke to her as if she were "a public meeting"?

Queen Victoria.

The top tier of a wedding cake

should be kept for either a first wedding anniversary

or for which other future occasion?

Christening.

In A.A. Milne's poem,

with whom did Christopher Robin

go down to Buckingham Palace?

-Erm, Winnie The Pooh.

-Alice.

Which BBC current affairs programme

claims to be the world's longest-running investigative series?

It was first shown in 1953.

-Points Of View.

-Panorama.

The Barossa Valley and McLaren Vale in South Australia

are particularly famous for the production of...?

Wine.

Which English novelist has written Enigma, Archangel, Pompeii

and, most recently, The Fear Index?

Harris.

Which pop duo, whose debut single West End Girls

topped the UK charts in '86,

consists of the vocalist Neil Tennant

and keyboard player Chris Lowe?

-Wham!

-Pet Shop Boys.

Who was the first Roman Catholic President of the USA?

He was sworn into office on January 20th, 1961.

Kennedy.

The chapel of Pembroke College Cambridge

was the first major commission for which architect,

later appointed to rebuild the City of London churches after the Great Fire?

Wren.

What colour flag is given to clean beaches and marinas

-as part of a prestigious international award scheme?

-BEEP

-Blue.

-Blue is correct.

No passes but you ran out of time, I'm afraid, Jules.

23 points.

Ah! Thank you.

So, a very clear winner in the end. Let's have a look at all the scores.

In joint third place, 13 points apiece -

Matthew Hoggard and Ray Fearon.

Second place, 23 points - Jules Hudson.

First place, a clear leader, as I say, 28 points - Justin Moorhouse.

APPLAUSE

Come on, Justin.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you very much.

Did you know, when you were answering the Les Dawson questions,

that his daughter is in the audience?

Yeah, she was sat right on my shoulder.

-So, did that intimidate you or make you...?

-I don't know, really.

If I was struggling, she could have whispered them, but I didn't hear her.

You managed anyway. Well done. Thank you for watching.

Do join us again for more Celebrity Masterminds. Good night.

You don't have to be a celebrity to appear on the show.

So, if you would like to appear

in the next series of Mastermind on BBC Two,

then do visit us online at bbc.co.uk/mastermind.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

Email [email protected]