Episode 10 Celebrity Mastermind

I'm here for a good time.

And I might cry.

Definitely terrified,

but kind of looking forward to getting it done

and just seeing what I actually know.

I'm a full-time athlete and this is completely different

to what I normally do, so it's a new challenge.

There's a great danger of "nul points"

with me today, but we will see.

Four celebrities who hope

they know everything there is to know about their specialist subject.

Who will be crowned tonight's Celebrity Mastermind?

MASTERMIND THEME

First in the spotlight tonight is the singer and actress Clare Grogan.

She's answering questions on Doris Day.

Next, singer-songwriter Newton Faulkner.

His specialist subject - Harry Nilsson.

The Paralympic gold medallist Richard Whitehead

will be answering questions on Tottenham Hotspur

and the sketch writer and theatre critic Quentin Letts

and his subject - Hereford Cathedral.

APPLAUSE

Hello, I'm John Humphrys and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind.

All of our contenders are, of course,

successful in their own right, but this is something a bit different.

Only the select few can claim the status of Celebrity Mastermind

and it's a lot easier answering questions

when you are not sitting in the black chair with a spotlight

shining in your face and the clock ticking away.

Their time is limited.

In the next half-hour, they must each face

one-and-a-half minutes on their specialist subject

and two minutes of questions on general knowledge,

so let's ask our first contender to join us, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Doris Day in 90 seconds, here we go.

In which American city was Doris Day born

as Doris Mary Ann Kappelhoff on 3rd April 1924?

-Evanston, Cincinnati.

-Correct.

Who co-starred with Day as the pianist and music arranger

Barney Sloan in the Warner Brothers film Young At Heart?

-Frank Sinatra.

-Yes.

Day said that the person who was the biggest influence

on her singing career was her singing teacher

when she was young. What was her name?

Er...

-Grace Raine?

-Yes.

Day sings Que Sera, Sera, the winner of the Academy Award

for best original song

in the 1956 suspense thriller The Man Who Knew Too Much.

Who directed that film?

Er...

-Michael...

-No, Alfred Hitchcock.

In 1940, she made her debut before a live audience

in which club owned by the band leader Barney Rapp?

-The Sign of the Drum.

-Yes.

Which song, written by Sammy Fain and Paul Francis Webster

and performed by Day in the film Calamity Jane

won the Academy Award for Best Original Song in 1953?

-Secret Love.

-Yep.

Day made her big-screen debut as the singer Georgia Garrett

in which '48 film directed by Michael Curtiz?

-Romance On The High Seas.

-Yes.

She turned down the chance to appear

in the '67 film The Graduate

because she felt it would be difficult for her to play

an older, more worldly woman on screen.

What part had she been asked to play?

-Mrs Robinson.

-Yes.

In the film Pillow Talk, Rock Hudson's character Brad Allen

tries to date Day's character Jan Morrow

by pretending to be a Texan going by what name?

-Rex Stetson?

-Yep.

She plays a journalism lecturer called Erica Stone

who locks horns with the newspaper editor Jim Gannon,

played by Clark Gable, in which film?

-Teacher's Pet.

-Yes.

-BEEP

Time's up. No passes, 9 points.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Harry Nilsson in 90 seconds, here we go.

Which song released by the American singer

Harry Nilsson in 1968 was originally written

and recorded by Fred Neil and was used as

the theme song for the Oscar-winning film

Midnight Cowboy?

-That was Everybody's Talking.

-It was.

Which '74 Nilsson album was produced by John Lennon?

Both he and Nilsson also appear on the cover.

-Pussy Cats.

-Yep.

Which British actor wrote and performed Harry,

the opening track of Nilsson's 16th

and final album Flash Harry?

That I don't know. Pass.

OK, a song by Badfinger which Nilsson covered

on the Nilsson Schmilsson album reached number one

in the singles charts in both England and America

and won him a Grammy. What's it called?

-Without You.

-Yes.

In the late '50s, Nilsson formed a close-harmony duo

with a former school friend that lasted into the early '60s.

What was the friend's name?

-Jerry Smith?

-Yep.

In March '67, Nilsson played several songs for a pop group

who subsequently recorded his composition Cuddly Toy.

Who were they?

-That was The Monkees.

-Yes.

Nilsson originally wanted to call one of his albums

God's Greatest Hits,

but changed the name to avoid offending people

and settled for having a second album cover on the inside

with the logo Formerly God's Greatest Hits.

What's the album called?

-That I don't know. Pass.

-Right.

A song from the album Nilsson Schmilsson reached number eight

in the American singles chart in '72.

According to the lyrics of the song,

where do you "put the lime"?

-In the coconut.

-You do.

Which drummer was credited on Nilsson's '72 album

Son Of Schmilsson as Richie Snare?

-That was Ringo Starr.

-Yep.

Which '71 children's fantasy film did Nilsson write,

narrate and record the soundtrack for?

-The Point.

-Yes.

In '75, Nilsson recorded a duet with Cher...

-BEEP

-..that was produced by Phil Spector.

What was the song?

Pass.

Well, I can tell you, cos you're out of time.

-A Love Like Yours.

-Ah.

"Don't come knockin' every day", if you want all the rest of it.

The other two passes - that album that was to be called

God's Greatest Hits was in the end called Do It On Monday

and the comedy actor with whom he wrote

and performed Harry was Eric Idle.

-Oh, is it?

-Yeah.

-However, Newton, you've got 8 points.

-Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Tottenham Hotspur, 90 seconds.

Spurs played in the Champions League for the first time

in which season when they reached the quarterfinals?

20...

..10.

Yes. In 2009, Tottenham beat Burnley 5-0.

It was the first Premier League victory at the 25th attempt

for a player who had joined the club in 2007.

Which player?

-Gareth Bale.

-Yes.

In 2004, the club adopted a continental-style

management structure with Jacques Santini as head coach

and which former Anderlecht player as sporting director?

Pass.

What trophy did they win for the fourth time

when they beat Chelsea 2-1 after extra time in February 2008?

It was the club's first major trophy in nine years.

The...

-..Worthington Cup.

-Yes, or the Football League Cup.

Before a Premier League match in October 2007,

the club celebrated its 125th anniversary with a parade

of former star players and trophies.

The match ended in a 4-4 draw. Who were their opponents?

-Arsenal.

-No, Aston Villa.

Who scored the only goal in Spurs' victory

against Milan at the San Siro in the last 16

of the Champions League but was sent off after just 15 minutes

in the first leg of the quarterfinal

against Real Madrid?

-Peter Crouch?

-Yes.

In 2008, Luka Modric joined Spurs from which Croatian club?

After four seasons he was sold to Real Madrid.

-Zagreb.

-Yes.

In December 2000, the fastest Premier League goal

was scored just 10 seconds after the kick-off

in a match between Spurs...

-BEEP

-..and Bradford City.

Who was the scorer?

-Sol Campbell.

-It was actually Ledley King.

You had one pass, Richard.

The sporting director in 2004 was Frank Arnesen.

You've scored 5 points.

APPLAUSE

And our final contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

In 90 seconds, starting now.

Hereford Cathedral was co-dedicated to St Mary the Virgin

and a 14-year-old Saxon king of East Anglia,

beheaded on the orders of Offa, King of Mercia in 794.

Who was he?

-Aethelbert.

-Yes.

Which city is represented as being

the centre of the world on the cathedral's Mappa Mundi?

-Jerusalem.

-Yes.

Both the church and town were destroyed in 1055 by Irish

and Welsh raiders under which Prince of Wales?

-Edward.

-No, Gruffydd ap Llywelyn.

Which famous part of Hereford Cathedral

was created by Thomas Thornton,

who was Canon and Presenter from 1583?

-The library.

-Yes, the chained library.

What was the first name of Bishop Aquablanca,

a favourite of Henry III and Eleanor of Provence,

who extorted large sums of money from the Irish

and spent huge sums on the cathedral?

-Thomas?

-Peter.

Which entrance, still the chief doorway to the cathedral,

was named after the bishop from 1516 to 1535?

-Booth Porch.

-Yes.

Which architect was employed to restore the west front

after its collapse in 1786?

-Wyatt.

-Yes.

Who became Bishop of Hereford in 1079

and is thought to have begun

the reconstruction of the cathedral?

-Aigueblanche?

-Robert.

In 1847, the Prime Minister, Lord John Russell,

nominated an Oxford professor to become the next

Bishop of Hereford against the wishes of Dean John Merewether.

What was the professor's name?

Pass.

Which renowned architect,

responsible for the ornate tiled floor in the sanctuary,

was employed to restore the cathedral in the 1860s?

-Scott.

-Yes, George Gilbert Scott.

From the late 19th century, Father Henry Willis and his descendants

were involved in the construction of what in the cathedral?

-Organ.

-Yep. Several bays of the cathedral

and the west tower and west front collapsed...

-BEEP

-..on Easter Monday of which year?

-1786.

-Is correct.

You had one pass.

That professor's name was Renn Dickson Hampden.

-Hampden, yeah.

-Anyway, Quentin, you've got 8 points.

APPLAUSE

Well, a nice close round, there. Let's have a look at all the scores.

In fourth place, 5 points,

Richard Whitehead. Joint second place, 8 points apiece,

Newton Faulkner and Quentin Letts.

In the lead, just, with 9 points - Clare Grogan.

APPLAUSE

So, it's the general knowledge round now

and if the scores are level at the end of this round,

then the person with the fewer passes will be the winner.

Let's get on with it and ask Richard to join us again,

if you would, please.

And it's one thing, he said flippantly,

to win gold at the Olympics,

but to run 40 marathons

in 40 days

as a sprinter

-is something else.

-Not many people do that.

-No!

LAUGHTER

I didn't need telling that, to be honest.

You must have had to retrain, mustn't you?

I actually started as a marathon runner before I went to sprinting.

There wasn't a Paralympic event for me at London for the marathon

so I changed to the 200m.

I'm a 200m runner at the moment, towards Rio 2016.

Ah, you're going to be there?

Hopefully. I'll get the guns out again.

-LAUGHTER

-But just staying with those

marathons for a minute, cos you ran the length of Britain.

-That's right.

-And you did it day after day.

-Day after day.

-But at the end of each day...

-I slept.

-LAUGHTER

-I bet you did.

Ice bath, which is not very appealing to anybody, and then sleep.

Really important to get the R&R in your programme to be successful

and the hardest thing was to get up the next day

and run another 26 miles.

Right, well, this will be a doddle after that.

Two minutes of general knowledge questions starting now.

Where on the body does the scorpion have its sting?

-Tail.

-Yep.

In 2013, Oracle Team USA came back from 8-1 down

against Team New Zealand to win the Americas Cup.

What's the name of the English sailor,

a four-times Olympic gold medallist, who helped them win?

-Ben Ainslie.

-Yep.

Which filled pastry snack,

named after the English county where it originated,

is made in a D shape with a thick, crimped edge along one side.

Pass.

In the New Testament, who was the husband of Mary,

the mother of Jesus?

Pass.

Who earned a posthumous Brit Awards nomination

in British Female Solo Artist category in 2013?

HE GROANS

-Pass.

-Which famous painting was stolen from the Louvre in 1911

and recovered in Italy in 1913?

Pass.

The benches in the House of Lords are covered with red leather.

What colour is used in the Commons?

-Green.

-Yeah.

Mount Everest stands on the border

of the Chinese autonomous region of Tibet

and which other country?

Pass.

What was the name of the fictional heavy metal band

that was the subject of a 1984 mockumentary

advertised with the tag line

"Promising to do for rock'n'roll

"what The Sound Of Music did for hills"?

-Slipknot. No idea.

-Spinal Tap.

Love apple, a translation of the French pomme d'amour

is an old-fashioned name for which salad ingredient?

Pass.

The courtiers Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

are boyhood friends of a tragic Shakespearean hero.

What's his name?

No idea. Pass.

Who has played the title roles as an undercover policeman

in the television series Murphy's Law

and as a neurosurgeon in Monroe?

Pass.

Fleetwood Mac's track The Chain introduces

the BBC coverage of what sport?

-Golf.

-Formula One.

What name is given to the area of open ground...

-BEEP

-I've started so I'll finish.

..in north London that includes Parliament Hill

and the Kenwood Swimming Pond?

The area is also the source of the River Fleet.

-Pass, no.

-Well, I'll tell you that one.

It is Hampstead Heath.

And your other passes - James Nesbitt

played in Murphy's Law and Monroe.

That tragic Shakespearean hero was Hamlet. A love apple is a tomato.

Nepal borders Mount Everest.

-Of course.

-Mona Lisa was stolen from the Louvre in 1911.

A Cornish pasty is that thing I was trying to describe to you.

Joseph was the husband of Mary, mother of Jesus

and Amy Winehouse won that Brit Award posthumously in 2013.

You've a total now, Richard, of 8 points.

APPLAUSE

And now Newton again, please.

Now, you did something really extraordinary.

You did brilliantly when you decided, as it were, to go solo,

and you had four big hits in the space of, what, six years?

It might be seven. I'm getting old now.

Anyway, you've had an awful lot of hits

and your last one you streamed live on the internet.

Why?

It was kind of a way of lifting the veil on the recording process,

cos I think generally, there's been a kind of fashion

in the music industry to make it seem so much...

Almost so much harder than it is and so mysterious,

and I just wanted to show people you can just sit in a chair

and play a song with some mics around you.

I made the decision to not kind of cover up anything and people did...

You saw me cry, you saw me throw my phone across the room.

You saw the whole spectrum of human emotions through the...

So it really was live all the way through that process for five weeks?

Yeah. It was terrifying to begin with

but I actually think it helped, because I'm more of a live artist

than I am a studio artist, and it kind of bridged the gap.

Ah, yes. Are you going to do it again with your next one?

I think so.

I'm still deconstructing it

and looking at what the implications were of doing it.

Because it had never been done before,

we're still working out what it meant.

Right, well, you've got 8 points in this particular contest

and you've got two minutes of general knowledge coming up.

Here we go.

Who became the first Briton to win

the Wimbledon Men's Tennis Championship wearing shorts

when he beat Novak Djokovic in straight sets in July 2013?

Pass.

The hybrid mammal known as the liger

is the offspring of a female tiger

and male of what other big cat?

Er, lion.

Yeah. In which city is the Avon Gorge

spanned by the Clifton Suspension Bridge?

Pass.

Which novel, made into an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical

opens with the words "It was the evening on which Monsieur Debienne

"and Poligny, the managers of the Opera,

"were giving a last gala performance."

-Les Miserables?

-The Phantom Of The Opera.

What word for the final destruction of the world

comes from the Greek for "uncover" or "reveal"?

I missed the beginning of that.

What word for the final destruction of the world

comes from the Greek for "uncover" or "reveal"?

-Apocalypse?

-Yes.

Which actor who played Tim Canterbury

in the BBC comedy series The Office

plays Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit films?

Oh...

I...

I don't know his name.

Which is the only one of the Great Lakes of North America

that lies entirely within the United States?

I've been there.

Name a lake.

What's the one that's on Chicago?

I've seen it with my eyes.

-I don't know. Pass.

-Right.

What morbid term, first popularised by shipyard

and munitions workers describes a worker's shift

that takes place overnight

or in the small hours of the morning?

Red-eye?

Graveyard shift.

Which 18th century author, lexicographer and wit

said that the only end of writing was to enable

the readers better to enjoy life or better to endure it?

-Oscar Wilde?

-No, Samuel Johnson.

The name of which common form of pasta

comes from the Italian for string or cord?

-Spaghetti?

-Yes.

Which band first topped the singles charts in 1998

with If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next?

-Manic Street Preachers.

-Yes.

Who created the Peanuts cartoon strip in 1950?

-Johnny Peanut?

-Charles Schultz.

Which British monarch was born on 24th May 1819,

the only child of Edward Augustus,

Duke of Kent and Strathearn?

Pass.

BEEP

Go on, take a guess.

Jamie Harper.

-No.

-No? OK.

Queen Victoria, but you were close.

They look almost identical in the right lighting.

Can't argue with that. That lake you know and forgot was Michigan.

-Michigan! I've canoed on that lake.

-I know, it's the black chair.

Martin Freeman played Tim Canterbury in The Office.

Bristol is the city where the Avon Gorge is.

Andy Murray was the first... Newton, you've got a total now of 12 points.

APPLAUSE

And Quentin again now, please.

Now, how can I put this kindly, Quentin?

Not everybody loves you in the Palace of Westminster, do they?

I hope not.

LAUGHTER I wouldn't be doing my job

-if they did.

-Quite. How much do they not love you?

I think they might like me a bit more than they like you, Humphrys.

LAUGHTER

It may be a dead heat,

but what we try to do as sketch writers is you try to drill

into the character of the politicians and the sort of vanities

that we might be able to detect, heaven forbid, in some of them.

That's maybe why they bridle sometimes

at the treatment they receive.

You puncture their pomposity. That's part of what you do.

Yes, and you try to bring to life the Palace of Westminster,

which is a great theatre of absurdities.

That's the point, because you're a theatre critic

as well as a sketch writer, so which is the...

I was going to say, which is the best theatre?

I do pantomime by day in the House of Commons.

LAUGHTER

There are similarities between the two. The politician is a performer.

Certainly the parliamentarian is.

What's the cruellest thing you've ever said about a politician,

-do you think?

-I don't know.

Anything about John Prescott, probably.

LAUGHTER

Right, you've got 8 points already.

Two minutes of general knowledge

is what you're about to be subjected to. Here we go.

Which fictional detective often comes to the aid

of the methodical but unimaginative

Police Inspector Lestrade

in a series of stories by Arthur Conan Doyle?

-Holmes.

-Yes.

What is the radio call sign of the American President's

personal aircraft, currently a specifically adapted Boeing 747?

-CNC?

-Air Force One.

The DRS, standing for "decision review system",

is used in which sport?

-Cricket.

-Yes.

In the children's television series Gentle Ben, set in Florida,

what type of animal was Ben?

-A koala.

-A bear. Black bear.

What branch of the humanities did the humanist Ambrose Bierce

define in his Devil's Dictionary

as "an account, mostly false,

"of events, mostly unimportant,

"which are brought about by rulers,

"mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools."

-Politics?

-History, though it could be politics.

What name is usually given to subterranean cemeteries,

particularly those used by early Christians in Rome

which had narrow passageways with burial niches

cut into the walls?

-Cemeteries. No.

-Catacombs.

Which 1966 Beatles hit opens with the lines,

"In the town where I was born lived a man who sailed the sea"?

A Tale Of Your Life?

We All Live In A Yellow Submarine.

Which vegetable stew from the Provence region of France

consists of tomatoes, onions, peppers,

courgettes and aubergines

simmered with garlic and olive oil?

Can you repeat that? Sorry.

A vegetable stew from Provence,

tomatoes, onions, peppers,

courgettes and aubergines,

simmered with garlic and olive oil.

-Ratatouille.

-Yes.

Priam was the last king of an ancient city

destroyed by the Greeks after a war that lasted ten years.

-What was the city called?

-Troy.

-Yes.

Which action hero played by Sylvester Stallone

made his first appearance in the 1982 film First Blood?

-Pass.

-What term for a man's prominent side whiskers

comes from the apparent resemblance

of the whiskers to a cut of meat?

-Mutton chops.

-Yes.

Nathan Detroit, Sky Masterson,

Harry the Horse and Nicely-Nicely Johnson

are among the characters in which musical?

Oh, God.

The Producers.

Guys And Dolls. What is known as

the glass house in military slang?

-Prison.

-Yep.

-Who plays the retired policeman...

-BEEP

..Danny Griffin in the television series New Tricks?

He replaced Brian Lane, played by Alun Armstrong.

I very seldom watch television.

-Robbie Coltrane.

-Well, it might have been,

but it was actually Nicholas Lyndhurst.

-And that action hero who was played by Stallone was John Rambo.

-Oh.

You've got now 14 points, Quentin.

APPLAUSE

And Clare, finally.

Now, you chose Doris Day.

An extraordinary actress, wasn't she?

She was amazing, and I think she was the first actress

that I really got drawn towards cos my mum was a really big fan.

She introduced me to Doris Day.

I would literally sit in her lap and watch the movies,

but in a lot of her movies, she was this amazing, dynamic,

equal to any man, John, kind of a gal, and I loved that about her.

And incredibly hard working, because she did, what, two films a year?

Yeah, she made 39 films in 20 years,

so when I first agreed to do this, I didn't know that.

I thought she did Pillow Talk, The Thrill Of It All...

Ah, so you thought it'd be easy,

just mugging up on a couple of films and then discovered...

-Right, you've got 9 points, Clare.

-This is the moment of truth.

The moment of truth.

Well, two minutes of truth. Here we go.

Which British actress,

who stars as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films

appears as a vain, celebrity-obsessed Hollywood thief

in the 2013 film The Bling Ring?

Emily Watson?

No, Emma Watson. What name is given to animals

and some plants that feed on flesh?

-Cannibals?

-No, carnivore.

In October 2013, in a match to celebrate

the 150th anniversary of the Football Association,

Bojan Jelovac became the first person to score a goal

at what rather unlikely venue?

-Inverness?

-No, Buckingham Palace.

-Oh, yes!

What politician calls her website the Widdy Web?

Edwina Currie?

Ann Widdecombe. What was known as Italian Welsh rarebit

when it was introduced to Britain in the 1950s?

-Garlic bread?

-Pizza.

-Pizza!

Which New Zealand-born soprano appeared as Dame Nellie Melba

in a concert held at Downton Abbey?

-Kiri Te Kanawa.

-Yes.

The shopping streets called Briggate

and the Headrow are in which northern English city?

-Newcastle?

-Leeds.

Who returns to her diary in the novel Mad About The Boy

as a 51-year-old single parent

whose husband, Mark Darcy, has died?

-Bridget Jones.

-Yes.

Which ex-member of the boyband 'N Sync

entered the UK charts at number two in 2002

with his debut single Like I Love You?

-Justin Timberlake?

-Yes.

Hedera helix is the scientific name

for which climbing evergreen plant

particularly popular at Christmas?

-Oh, holly?

-Ivy.

Ivy!

Abigail Williams,

a former servant who accuses her employer's wife of witchcraft

is one of the leading characters

in a play by Arthur Miller.

What's it called?

-The Crucible.

-Yes.

Which island state of Australia is separated from the mainland

by the Bass Strait?

Holland?

Tasmania.

Matt LeBlanc won a Golden Globe in 2012 for playing

a larger-than-life version of himself in a television series

also starring Stephen Mangan and Tamsin Greig.

-What's the series called?

-BEEP

I watch it. Give me a second.

It's called...

-No?

-No, and I've seen every episode.

-You have.

And you actually had the answer in that,

cos it's called Episodes.

Ah! LAUGHTER

So that was your one pass and it means your score is 13 points.

Thank you. APPLAUSE

Well...

..a very close contest. Let's have a look at the scores.

In fourth place with 8 points,

Richard Whitehead. Third place,

12 points, Newton Faulkner. Second place, 13 points,

Clare Grogan. In first place, 14 points, Quentin Letts.

APPLAUSE

Quentin...

..congratulations.

Thank you very much.

How does that rival your many other awards?

-It's right at the very top.

-The only possible answer. Well done.

You don't have to be a celebrity

to take part in the regular Mastermind programme.

If you would like to appear in the next series on BBC Two,

then do visit us online at...

..or you can follow us on Twitter at...

Thanks for watching. Do join us again for more Masterminds. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE AND THEME TUNE